Dear aunty Sterra,
Abeg Post my mail make your readers help me. Sorry for the long mail, I am an only child and I have no one to talk to.Will appreciate sincere response from you and your readers of which I am one..... most especially Bloglord,wide eyed,Fucknizer and all the other correct people and anonymous'.
Its my 23rd birthday in some weeks, I have done quite well for myself and preparing for masters thanks to God. But i feel im too young for marriage until the next year or two when i must have settled into life fully. My 4 year relationship with my 32 year old boyfriend ended some months ago and amazingly I don't really know what I feel even though he has been making efforts to reconcile with me.
My best friend is male and we have been close since forever we got closer and more intimate when the problem in my relationship started, I feel bad that maybe I did not give due attention to my bf and thats why I was'nt bothered about making things work when it started to crumble. He lets me have my way and do whatever I want including adhering to my rule of no sex before marriage. But sometimes you need a man to be firm and I don't see him in this light. My best friend is younger but sets me straight when I'm out of line because I am very strongwilled.
I do not want it to seem like i'm comparing them but in recent times i have had to. For his age his interests are childish and company of friends is questionable although he is not doing badly as an individual. I talked so much about it. It seemed like i was nagging but seems to be changing after the breakup. I do not have so much experience with men either.
My best friend and I have a wonderful chemistry so much that I have found myself falling in love with him, he says we should get married soon that he wants to be serious with me. I told him I will pray about it but I am really confused. Wont it seem like i had this guy on the decks and waited for the right moment to carry out this evil plan. He is not in the country presently and wants me to fly to Paris to spend my birthday. I am afraid to go for three reasons
1)I do not think i want to commit just yet but i enjoy him and his company so well I would be ill if i don't hear from him in a day
2) I am afraid he will propose to me (No i'm not being forward) he has tried to measure my hand with a fake ring as well as leave other hints including speaking with my mum
3) i DO NOT want to have sex with him, he does'nt believe in celibacy before marriage(This is the reason i may not consider him at all).
The whole situation is causing me to worry. I am not ready to get married immediately but i think my ex bf's family are putting some sort of pressure on him that's why he broke up with me thinking it will make me get serious but that did not work. He's still all up in my space. Some Pastors prophesied he is my husband but he has not "MANNED UP" to define what he wants which was my annoyance. There's no assumption in marriage. It was after the break up he said he planned to propose soon. I do not want to continue with him and end up frustrated or seem like i’m enduring or doing it out of pity, i want to enjoy my marriage.
Best Friend on the other hand is looking forward to my arrival but i do not want to do anything rash. Majorly i am not ready to sleep with him in as much as i love him and he believes Sex is important. But i am a christian and i don’t want to compromise on any values. I'm not enthusiastic about the trip although it will be a nice birthday getaway, how do i get him to stop processing papers without hurting his feelings or break off the whole thing totally. Let it not be that i have lost my original husband even though i do not feel any attraction to him Presently.Should i forget both of them and face my Career and wait for the right man.
Forgive me for this long letter.
PLEASE GUYS HELP ME WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!
Aunty Stella please treat as Urgent and Unedited Post.
God Bless you all.
Thanks in anticipation of your responses.
*Blog visitors please advice this young sweetheart.
Advise (verb)
ReplyDeleteJust give it time n don't compromise what u believe in dear.Gud luck
DeleteDear poster, my candid advise is for you to pray seriously concerning this. For God to make known to you the true man. You are human and can't do it on your own. Seems your ex agreed with you as regards the celibacy before marriage. But your bestfriend doesn't believe in it. Make your best friend know that for real, you won't have sex till after marriage and see if he will agree with you or not. As for your ex, if you guys will reconcile, make sure it is out of love and not pity so dat u won't regret it afterwards. But above all, pray about it.
DeleteNo comment
ReplyDeleteYour story gave me a bloody headache!
DeleteIn my opinion,what U shud do is dump
the both of them,bestfriend and ex boy-
friend that is.
U sound confused.Focus on attaining Ur
masters and stop seeking advice when its
so bloody obvious that U have already
made up Ur mind towards the men in Ur
Life!!!
General Zod is Pissed!
Hmmmmmm ma dear, I tink u should sit down n really ask urself wat u wnt out of life, wat kind of a man do u wnt even if ur pastor tld u dat ur BF is ur husband, is it wat God tld u tnk God u r a Christian.marriage is 4 eternity no divorce as a Christian n truth is wateva u cnt change in a man nw u will nt change even after 10yrs in marriage instead u begin 2 see deir true colour come out. Jst tink of wat u wnt n who u can cope wit 4 eternity, till death do u part. All d bst
ReplyDeleteAbeg jor my sister if u didn't sleep with the first. Don't sleep with the best friend. It's always a disaster afterwards. Besides if either was your brother what would u say of the girl? Girls ehn una wahala too much. Guy nice na problem again coz he loves u enuf to live your life. Don't worry u will see what u want in strong handed man. BtW I'm a girl
DeleteMy own candid advice is dat u shouldn't hurry urself into anoda relationship...rather...take ur time...pray about it...be patient
ReplyDeletei seriously do not not understand the head or tail of this story ,i do rather sit back ,drink my garri ijebu and epa and wait for comments.bloglord over to u mbok
ReplyDeleteLmao....jesus, 10Q so much!!! U̶̲̥̅̊ said my exact tot!!! Rubbish right up if I may add**bbm mot interested**
DeleteYou just disgraced your English teachers. Simple passage and small question Una no fit answer. Una no do comprehension for school? Wastes
DeleteAhhhh! Eya!
ReplyDeleteBeen there, and done that. Make him, ur best friend, understand ur celibacy standpoint. If he agrees, fine, go to Paris, if he doesn't, then forget him. As for ur bf, believe me, never ever get married for pity,if he is not whom u want, getting married to him won't make him who you want.
"Aunty Stella" so you self dey demand "Aunty" I hope you enjoying the Aunty address as well Aunty Stella.
ReplyDeleteSome ladies will admire you, because what you have is hard to find these days, a man who doesn't wants you just for play. Come to think of it, you have two!
ReplyDeleteBut if you were ready to settle down, it would've been easy. I would say just pick the one whom you love most and who realy loves you back. BUT NO ONE SHOULD GET MARRIED OUT OF PRESSURE OR SELF PITY.
So my advice? If you think you are not ready, don't get married but you may regret it and if you do get married now, you may also regret it later.
THE BOTTOM LINE IS, YOU SHOULD ONLY GET MARRIED WHEN YOU FEEL READY!
Story is a bit confusing, seems like it has no head or tail to me.#rme.....would just prolly read peeps comments then
ReplyDeleteVery confusing...because she claims she doesnt want to get married but still hoping the ex proposes and dont want to waste her time waiting and hoping on something which aint forth coming...my dear you were not explicit enough in this write up,which i find vedy difficult to understand tho...you indeed confused because u wish for a ring from your ex and still lie to yourself you dont want to get married...make up your mind dear...sit still,reminisce on the situation and maybe you can come up with a decision..one thing i can tell you for sure is you dont feel anything for your best friend..because in as much u know he wants to propose you are shying yourself away from it abd hoping your ex doesnt disappoint you if you return to him,because you said he aint making the proposal move you expecting..cheers..
DeleteOmo dis story na die oh!
ReplyDeleteAbeg pple giv dis girl correct advice!
Ur like me!
I'm a virgin too *wink* and I'm 24
In year 3
So jst pray and make sure u do what's right.
God be with you my darling.
..I do hope Ur Virginity
Deletegets U some desired
sense because nobody
sought these IRRelevant
details from U.
24yrs? Year 3? Old woman.
DeleteYour best friend and Yourself don't have same values... Question I have for you is, Can two walk together unless they agree?
ReplyDeleteAs a christian,u believe in Celibacy,ur best friend might be a christian but his own christianity no reach that side and dats where the fear of God comes in, u need a man with the fear of God..look,in marriage, a man will not cheat on you cause you are beautiful or whatever,a man will only not cheat on you cause he has d fear of God and when a man doesn't have the fear or God, what's left???
If u go to Paris,it will be fun but u will end up sleeping with him.. So after sleeping with him,kiloku?
U need to sit down and think very well.. Think! Don't leave what u need for what you want...
U are a christian, so pray about the two of them.. Tell God to show you the way.. U can let your pastor pray along with you about the two of them again just to be very sure and stand firm on your Celibacy with your bestfriend,if he can't cope,he should leave you.. Left for me,I will advise u guys should stay friends, its best that way...cheers
Anon 4:39 hve advice u wisely, and I will give u an honest advise bcos sdk bloggers advised me well wen my idiot bf was sleeping wth anoda girl in our office.
ReplyDeleteMy dear take out time to pray, as u knw we never really knw the heart of men, dnt rush to Paris and hve dis man sleep wth u, ones he sleep wth u, all he want might just be to sleep wth u for some time later he will start finding fault in u.
Did u try to be as much friend wth ur boyfriend as u re wth bestfriend. Bestfriend has respect ur no sex rules for long only a real man wait patiently.cos he know he will still hve it all.but Pls n Pls dnt marry him at of pity. U both deserve better than that.
I wish u all d best dear, relationship re so complicated
My advice 4 u. Do not rush into marriage and don't marry sum1 out of pity. Go with d one who u can't do without. Who u really luv sincerely. Am nt talkin in terms of money. I mean True love. Take ur tym to study both guys before u jump into conclusion so dt in 10 yrs tym, when u luk back, u won't regret d decision u made. All d best.
ReplyDelete1) I am highly disappointed with your best friend for taking advantage of you when you had issues with your relationship...em I just remembered that you cannot have a member of the opposite sex as a "best friend".
ReplyDelete2) I think you are a bit confused about what you want in a relationship. Do you want a man that respects you or one that bully's you(Over-rule your decisions)
3) Marriage is not about the giddiness you feel around someone. Its about LIFE together so your goals and aspirations must match.
4) Put your "best friend" back in his position because he is only wanting to use you at a time that you need counsel.
5) Sit your boyfriend down and let him know ur plans and what ur concerns are in the relationship before deciding to marry.
6) All the best and remember any pastor that tells you who to marry is FAKE. Follow your heart and remember any decision you make, has consequences.
Let's be clear on something here.. Every pastor dat prays along with you and tell u who or who not to marry is not FAKE.. Its a pity we have a lot of fake pastors now but not every pastor is fake.. There are some decisions u want to make in life and u need someone who is spiritually higher than you to join their prayers with yours, they will tell you if someone is good or not good for you but they will never force them on your.. In d end, d choice is yours..
DeleteI am officially in luv wiv u F**k-Nizer..dis is my first comment on dis blog..I just had 2 write dis..ur comments r always on point..Luv u 2 pieces darling#kisses#
DeleteAmia
I am officially in luv wiv u F**k-Nizer..dis is my first comment on dis blog..I just had 2 write dis..ur comments r always on point..luv u 2 pieces darling#mwah!#
DeleteMy best friend is male, he is married now . yes there was chemistry but it took a lot of self discipline from both parties . I have known him for over 10 years and then he was single. Male and female can have a perfect friendship.
DeleteNahh Fnizer u goofed on this one.. Mama Ijebu, u got it, that's it. Not every Pastor is a fake like u rightly pointed. Been there done that. And I'll tell u how it is.
DeleteWhen a TRUE man of God whom God is walking closely with, prays for u about any impending event in your life, in this case a future partner, you'll recognize the message if you are spiritually alert. However, d fake one's can also see visions, don't forget the Devil was once and arch Angel. But the point here is this, when a man of God tells u that a man/woman is good for u, it doesn't necessarily mean that he/she is definitely ur future partner. Little wonder... when you give a pastor, lets say 3names of guys who are wooing you, atimes all 3 can come back to very good men for u after prayers have been observed about them. Does that mean u'll marry all 3? Nah. It narrows down to the BEST of them all.
Years ago, I have had to pray about various guys, as I also like to seek God before anything. And about 4 out of maybe 6 came back as good. Infact a few were said to have bright and glorious futures that'll compliment mine. But today I can tell u that I am neither married to any of them or even in touch with them. Essentially, while the spirit can guide u to the right path, u are still the one to decide in the flesh according to your relationship with them on earth. God will not come down to hand u the right man or woman, he can only guide u to stay serious with ones that are good, but the ball is still in ur court.
Many people who are destined to be together spiritually have married, and even bore kids. But guess what, today, majority of them have either divorced themselves or gone their separate ways.
You will start to wonder why, and perhaps ask, but didn't Pastor Paul say that God said they are to be together? Yes God may have told Pastor Paul, but what if the participants did not follow what they should and the marriage crashed? Is it God's or Pastor Paul's fault? Will u then say Pastor Paul is a fake? Certainly not. Again, our destiny is in our own hands, lest no one be quick to transfer their inadequacies on any person of God who won't live with u in ur matrimonial home. Nonetheless I agree that fakes exist.
There are some matters people shouldn't be bothering God about. The voice of man is often said to be the voice of God. God isn't a magician, and he won't perform abrakadabra just to prove Lord over all. When He gives u common sense and the spirit to discern, pls use them to the utmost capacity. Some females n even males will see the truth glare them face on face, yet they'll not do the needful. How is that God's fault when u have continued to insult His supremacy over your God given senses? Pls let's be pragmatic even in our spirituality. God is omniscient but practical.
Seek God first, yes, but thereafter you call the shots. And if u invite Him to walk with u, He'll do so!
And besides am female, but I keep better friendships with males. U just have to define ur friendship with them. In the poster's case, she sounds vulnerable tho she may not admit it. She has simply confined her future&happiness to these 2, hence she has now found a lover in her once upon a time best friend bcos her bf messed up. I guarantee u that when she finds another suitor she loves, her consideration of her best friend will change.
@ anon 12:32 you are so on point. She should not limit her choices to just guys. Pray nd ur own man will come; you are still very young. Put God first nd every other thing will follow. Good luck
DeleteOh my!I had to read your letter twice.Your life is no different from that of the average upwardly mobile 23 year old.Marriage proposals always trail women who insist on wearing a chastity belt!"I will marry you" has broken many~a~ hymen!How re we not sure your best~boyfriend's proposal is not about getting you to "drop"?Here's what will happen in Paris:He ll be nice and syrupy sweet.Once you accept his ring,he ll need u to validate this committment in physical terms!He will beg you even after paris;let's assume u refuse there o!If you continue to say no to touchi bodi and stand your ground that sex can only happen until after the wedding,he will resort to plan B.Withhold his company from you!The oldest, overly used form of emotional blackmail AKA Malice!The tables will turn!You will be the one begging him to come back as you can't live without your "oxygen"!When he returns,u will submit finally.You will keep submitting! *Fast forward 2 yrs*...Now you re 25 and Best~ boyfriend hasn't mentioned a date! At that age u want to settle naa.It hits you that it was all about the bargain for sex!..On the other hand,He may just be the one for you!if you do not see a future without him, by all means say yes and keep your fingers crossed!People stay engaged for yrs and get married!You won't be the first!Am not commenting on the other older guy.When I saw prophet abi na pastor(?) added to the mix I yawned!Come o...This your letter sef fit be make~ believe.hahahahahaha are we being officially screwed??? Signed:Wide eyed!
ReplyDeleteYoung Lady these are some of the things you said.
ReplyDeleteYou don't really know what yo feel for your boyfriend even though he has been making efforts to reconcile with you (confused)
You feel bad that maybe you did not give him attention and that's why you weren't bothered about making things work out when it started to crumble. (Confused)
Your bestfriend is younger in age, his interests are childish and his company of friends, questionable (complain)
Your best friend and you have a wonderful chemistry and you're falling in love with him. (Confused abi na lost? Ok)
You do not have so much experience with men. (And you have been in a 4yrs relationship?) You claimed to. ( You dey scatter yarn I swear)
Some pastors prophesied you ex boyfriend is you better half, and you think he is not MANNED enough..........whew! (you aint giving him attention here ure judging him)
With all respect, You're confused, so so confused. Do your parent know all these at all? Undoubtedly, obviously You prefer your best friend to your boyfriend. But Hey Beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful ok. You aint ready to settle yet blah blah blah, You think ure workng with vision? Wait till Gods purpose meet ur vision, you'll marvel and cry in joy how you got married and things achieved all you wish hitch free. Note that Education wont take you to the top, only vision. You need to be dedicated to God, cos that's the surest way to secure your vision and Godswill takes place, and not ur will.
Finally Every decision made in the fear of the lord is a wise decision. Be Prudent in your decision. My opinion, #I feel you ex is the right one for you. My candid Opinion
Be WOMANNED enough.
Somadina, am impressed... Good advise
DeleteMy God Somadina, bbm huggie x10!!!
DeleteU too make sense...
DeleteChoi,na Soma be dis??Nice one...really nice!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteIts not wise to make a decision in such a confused state. One thing I understand clearly from you is that you are not ready to get married. Explain this to both of them and do not compromise your values. Which ever one is really serious about you will wait with you.
ReplyDeleteYou say you are a Christian, then trust God to choose the best for you, even if its neither of them.
I know what you will do, you are drawn to the wild side. You will finally date this your so called best friend. you may not visit him on this occasion but he will pay you a visit, he is way stronger than you and guess what YOU WILL HAVE THAT SEX. you will see he is not what you really thought he was, he will feel the same way too especially since HE HAS HAD SEX and there is nothing mysterious about you anymore.
ReplyDeleteYou will move on with your life after learning this hard lesson. it will make you stronger, not too bitter but alot wiser. I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST DEAR
Who are you? You just dropped some deep stuff casually!me likey! Signed:wide eyed!
DeletePoster,
DeleteU can avoid all the things dis commentor said, just give yourself brain.. Ur bestfriend just wants to sleep with you and if giving u a ring or speaking with your mum will make it easy for him, so be it.. Use your brain and focus on your ex.. Don't be a dunce!
The concluding part of this story was so confusing.
ReplyDeleteHowever I hv a few advice for you.
Marriage is meant for adults not kids, u must be matured in mind and in decission making. The basis of marriage is love not pity, u don't marry someone out of pity, maybe u just don't want him to feel bad because u said no to him.
I believe the best advice that works is when u advice yourself. Deep down in ur heart u knows what u want, what u just need is someone that will convince u to make that move.
Lastly, God is the Ultimate and He is the foundation of every successful, so anything that will take u away from the presence of God or any marriage that will not encourage you to serve God, is not adviceable.
look dear, as a christian i believe in confirming from God before marriage like my pastor wud say confirm and reconfirm from God. if u have confirmed from a reputable man of God that your BF of 4 years is your husband then go ahead. Noone is perfect u are complaining about his weak points as if u are perfect too. most times God match makes people with opposite characters, that way, u can use ur strength to compliment his weakness. and good enough he is not demanding for sex before marriage which is means he is not ready to defile the matrimonial bed before marriage, which is a plus as u hardly find men nowadays that wud do that.your best friend in paris like u said would not want to do that, which means he might not be a serous christian, which means he does not value u enough to ever think of waiting. the love u think u feel for your best friend might not actually be real love it might jus look like it. time will tell. also make things outrightly clear to your best friend esp ur sex stand,and watch his responds. above all go back to God in prayer or pray about it with a stronger christain and ask God to confirm his word on the issue of ur life patner. God wud speak that I can assure u. DONT RUSH THINGS ESP WITH UR BEST FRIEND BE CAREFUL.cheers
ReplyDeletelook dear, as a christian i believe in confirming from God before marriage like my pastor wud say confirm and reconfirm from God. if u have confirmed from a reputable man of God that your BF of 4 years is your husband then go ahead. Noone is perfect u are complaining about his weak points as if u are perfect too. most times God match makes people with opposite characters, that way, u can use ur strength to compliment his weakness. and good enough he is not demanding for sex before marriage which is means he is not ready to defile the matrimonial bed before marriage, which is a plus as u hardly find men nowadays that wud do that.your best friend in paris like u said would not want to do that, which means he might not be a serous christian, which means he does not value u enough to ever think of waiting. the love u think u feel for your best friend might not actually be real love it might jus look like it. time will tell. also make things outrightly clear to your best friend esp ur sex stand,and watch his responds. above all go back to God in prayer or pray about it with a stronger christain and ask God to confirm his word on the issue of ur life patner. God wud speak that I can assure u. DONT RUSH THINGS ESP WITH UR BEST FRIEND BE CAREFUL.cheers
ReplyDeleteWell I W̶̲̥̅̊ȋ̊ƪƪ advise U̶̲̥̅̊ follow Ūя heart cus men r scarce nowadays.
ReplyDeleteLOOOL. This your write up no make sense at all, and you are preparing to go for a masters degree???? *i laugh in greek* Please go and learn how to write well so what you are trying to communicate can be passed across properly.
ReplyDelete@wide eyed thanks. Maybe i shouldnt have used Pastors since it wasnt an ordained person who gave me the "prophecy"or like i went to a cele church(no offense) Once i was at a Prayer retreat and while we were praying a colleague from church said to me after prayers to hold on to whoever it is i am dating, he felt led to tell me.
ReplyDeleteOn another occasion i invited my boyfriend at the time to one of the prayer meetings we had and they were praying for people who wanted to get married,We did not sit together and no one knew we were dating. The guest minister who i had'nt met before was praying for the people who came out, paused came straight to me and singled me out and said Lady where is your boyfriend. Long story short Bobo had to get up from his seat cuz MOG insisted and he said hes your husband but he didnt force or make it compulsory.
And no this story isnt make believe. MANY THANKS!!!
Pls what church is that?
DeleteU see now? Babe,give yourself brain o! Ur ex will sleep with u and u guyz will just get tired and by dat time shame no go let u go meet ur ex and to get another man like him fit take some 7yrs..
DeleteAll these confusion and best friend thingy na temptation o
Holding on doesn't mea n he is not for you. Your best friend is not in love with you. Your ex loves you more than you love him..which is what is supposed to be. You can give yourself another year with your ex. Talk things out with him. He will wait. You and your bestfriend are not equaly yoked. Sometimes god creates confusion so we can mature..reason and make a final decision. Dont think you have all the time in the world. It is your rainy season so u plant your crops well. Time will fly by so fast by 28 29 30no one reason able will show up..then you will start to worry and takw whatever comes. Love is a choice. That rubbish you feel for your bestfriend is lust and childish. However the mab you have been with for four year s..thats love...
DeleteThanks to Everyone so far,God bless you!
ReplyDeleteRemember this... though love is all there is it is never enuf
ReplyDelete4rm ur write up u tried taking sides with ur best frnd...cus I think a huge part of ur hrt goes 4 him but don't make a mistake cus marriage is a diff ball game and no mata how close u guys are doznt mean you wunt have problems
I prefer a man who respects you more than anything bcus when wahala strts he wud always listen to you
Do not also marry outta pity sha cus ud hate him
And about going to paris...girl dcive yourself you are deff going to have sex with him
You are as confused as the write up , tried reading it twice .you ought to take a break from all issues surrounding you , then you would be able to make a decision you sure would not regret .
ReplyDelete* Mama Somtee *
My dear forget dat bestfriend oh, once u both have sex, he wee change nd u wee wish u never did. Focus more on ur bf, if things stil aint workn out, babes u gat ά whole lota things ahead of u, ur man wee cum. Don't streamline ur options 2dese two
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with your points Somadina.
ReplyDeleteDon't go to Paris, because there is high possibility you might fall for his sweet charm and wooing.
Then stay away from the 2 guys to get your thoughts straightened out and pray about it.
"Should i forget both of them and face my Career and wait for the right man."
ReplyDeleteQUOTING YOU; THIS WAS WHERE YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. AS A CHRISTIAN, YOU'VE GOT TO RESPECT GOD AND YOUR BODY; NICE DECISION NOT TO HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. BUT IT IS SHOCKING THAT YOU'RE UNEQUALLY GETTING YOKED TOGETHER WITH AN UNBELIEVER (THAT'S WHAT YOU "BEST FRIEND" IS. HE LOVES SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE AND IS GETTING PLENTY OF IT). EVEN AS HE IS IN PARIS, HE IS "FEEDING WELL" FROM IN BETWEEN THE LAPS OF ANY DAMSEL (OR GOAT) ON SKIRT/PANTS. HE IS PROBABLY FILLED WITH (NOT ONLY DEMONS FROM THEM) BUT STDs AND STIs even HIV (in the window period which can be up to 10 years. i am a MAN/doctor/Christian by the way.)YOUR BEST FRIEND WILL RAPE YOU; IT IS A MATTER OF TIME; ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU REFUSE HIM SEX AT A TIME HE HAS FANTASIZED BEDDING YOU AND CHARGED UP TO IT -LIKE IN THAT PARIS. YOU WILL BE SHELL SHOCKED. NOW THE OTHER MISTAKE (BIG BASKET OF MISTAKE) YOU ARE MAKING IS TO ALLOW PASTORS TO TELL YOU WHO YOUR SPOUSE WILL BE; THAT IS TERRIBLE! WHAT HAPPENS TO THE WORDS OF JESUS IN JOHN 10 (MY SHEEP HEAR MY VOICE AND THEY FOLLOW ME AND I KNOW THEM; WHY NOT READ THE CHAPTER YOURSELF? BE CAREFUL; THAT (YOUR BOTTOM LINE) IS THE WORD GOD HAS PUT IN YOUR HEART. THE ONLY OMISSION BY YOU IS "ALSO FACE AND NURTURE YOUR FAITH BY MEDITATING ON GODS WORD DAY AND NIGHT AND FASTING AND PRAYING". GOOD WISHES.
"Should i forget both of them and face my Career and wait for the right man."
ReplyDeleteQUOTING YOU; THIS WAS WHERE YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. AS A CHRISTIAN, YOU'VE GOT TO RESPECT GOD AND YOUR BODY; NICE DECISION NOT TO HAVE SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE. BUT IT IS SHOCKING THAT YOU'RE UNEQUALLY GETTING YOKED TOGETHER WITH AN UNBELIEVER (THAT'S WHAT YOU "BEST FRIEND" IS. HE LOVES SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE AND IS GETTING PLENTY OF IT). EVEN AS HE IS IN PARIS, HE IS "FEEDING WELL" FROM IN BETWEEN THE LAPS OF ANY DAMSEL (OR GOAT) ON SKIRT/PANTS. HE IS PROBABLY FILLED WITH (NOT ONLY DEMONS FROM THEM) BUT STDs AND STIs even HIV (in the window period which can be up to 10 years. i am a MAN/doctor/Christian by the way.)YOUR BEST FRIEND WILL RAPE YOU; IT IS A MATTER OF TIME; ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU REFUSE HIM SEX AT A TIME HE HAS FANTASIZED BEDDING YOU AND CHARGED UP TO IT -LIKE IN THAT PARIS. YOU WILL BE SHELL SHOCKED. NOW THE OTHER MISTAKE (BIG BASKET OF MISTAKE) YOU ARE MAKING IS TO ALLOW PASTORS TO TELL YOU WHO YOUR SPOUSE WILL BE; THAT IS TERRIBLE! WHAT HAPPENS TO THE WORDS OF JESUS IN JOHN 10 (MY SHEEP HEAR MY VOICE AND THEY FOLLOW ME AND I KNOW THEM; WHY NOT READ THE CHAPTER YOURSELF? BE CAREFUL; THAT (YOUR BOTTOM LINE) IS THE WORD GOD HAS PUT IN YOUR HEART. THE ONLY OMISSION BY YOU IS "ALSO FACE AND NURTURE YOUR FAITH BY MEDITATING ON GODS WORD DAY AND NIGHT AND FASTING AND PRAYING". GOD'S GRACE.
Do u even know what you want at all? What is wrong with you? What you feel for ur best friend is probably infatuation anyway and atop with the comparison. No man is the same
ReplyDeleteMy dear! Life is not d way u see it. I am a virgin too and can tell what ur going through. Don't make d mistake of haveing anything to do with ur bestfriend Cus ur best friend,has another best friend. I once had a male bestfriend like u,and was in a very good relationship with a guy that liked me so much, that at a point I started seeing his likeness 4 me as him being a fool. Trust me, I got tired of his company and left him cus I was getting better attention 4rm my so called best friend. The long and short of d whole story was that when my best friend could not get sex 4 me, he took a walk and left me all alone 2 myself . And I just could not go back 2 my ex. Give ur self a brain stay with ur boy friend 4yrs is not 4day... Guys like him are rare.Above all, take ur worries 2 God.....
ReplyDeleteFirst time to comment on this blog; I'm "M" you dig??? But in the real sense of it, your BFM has been waiting for that opportunity of breaking up with your real Boyfriend; I have a BFF, known her longer than I know my GF; The fact is that I Love her too as much as I know she loves me; But isn't that confusing... So you wanna tell me all this while your BFM never had a relationship?? If thats a Yes, it is enough compromise for you to know there is NO WAY; And if he has been telling you he doesn't; I will ask 2 questions: Is he cripple or so poor?? I don't think A Nigerian living in Paris can have any disability to survive there; Think about it again and again... Something is not just adding up... Let me Give you an instance: If my BFF wants to pay me a visit (My invitation or her suggestion), if we end up having sex, it's her luck (FACT); But that doesnt mean I will leave my GF b'cos of her; I love my BFF, but I can never ever leave her for my GF; Just a simple restriction that shows that something is missing; what it is, I do not know; There is something missing in your BF too that made you leave him for your 32y/o man; otherwise, he would have been your world right now.
ReplyDeleteBFM: Best friend MALE
BFF: Best friend FEMALE
Your story is long.
ReplyDeleteAnd honestly, follow your heart.
The one other thing I will say is that you need a man that can stand up and take charge.
Trust me, you don't want to be married and burdened with that task.
Me. I always say marry your friend. Love na work, e fit die, ul need that friendship to keep it going.
-babe
Abeg na which kind man b ur ex sef? Person no touch u for 4yrs nd u say na relationship? Sister mary if na me ehn b4 i put dat ring for ur finger u go don drop @least 1pikin...
ReplyDeleteDear poster, follow ur heart, stick to ur values and please there is nothing like "the one for me" or "destined husband", all u need is a God fearing man, one who'll respect u, one who has morals/values{see diz is important cuz u no want being a Dv candidate}, one who loves and cherish is mother and who will u d same way he'll treat his mother{no forget to check how im mother character be cuz MIL dese days ehn na die}, if u find a man with all these qualities{no restrict urself 2 these 2 guys} then my dear u're good to go...
Pls, no go paris oh
Goodluck
Somadina is right..
ReplyDeletehmnmn.....I can say you are the cause of your problems. Truth be said, why do you have a male bestfriend when you have a boyfriend. Ladies are so used to have a so called male boyfriends not knowing that guys have their antics. Your bestfriend may have an aim of sleeping with you from the on set but will wait patiently (don't be surprise it may take longer than you think for him to achieve his aim of sleeping with you). You left you boyfriend cos of what you feel for your male bestfriend. How will you feel if your boyfriend has a female bestfriend? Food for thought. Paris should be a no go for you else.....the cookies will be let out of the cookie jar.
ReplyDeleteDear lady, my tots have been stated well. Trust me,all these we are tellin u will 4l on very deaf ears! U will definitely b fucked hard by 'friend' and b heartbroken @ d end becos it seems to me that u lack stance and u r nt easily satisfied+ u engage in a lot of comparism which does not bode well for u or any relationship u r in. My 2 cents? Take a break off boi drama! #it's stl fuck me Hard!
ReplyDeleteMy dear your best friend is not the right one for you put him back on the friend zone what you feel (or think you feel)for him is a mere crush trust me i have been there b4 and i'm talking from experience. Ask God for direction. If u think u are too young to marry and want to face ur career God forbid you may be back on this blog in 20yrs time crying of how u are still single. I'm married i love my husband but trust me i somethings wish he would let me have my way. And your ex could be giving you ur space cos u are not yet married but when he puts a ring on it the story may change. Enough said! all the best.
ReplyDeleteOh shut up you 'Egor Efiok' wanker @ Fuck-Nizer!
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, PRAY. Both men are not for you. As for the Pastor that prophesied, you be learner? Your Pastor is just meant to confirm what God had told you already! Come on. Any man who asks you for sex before marriage is definitely not for you. That eliminates your best friend automatically. Been there done that. Be careful of the words 'I want to marry you', it has ruined many a lady. When the ONE arrives, God will not need to tell you with a megaphone. You'll know.
ReplyDeleteMy dear first of all you need to get rid of the two men for you to know which of them you have feelings for because if you jumped into another relationship after a failed one without proper assessment of the failed relationship, then you are likely to commit same mistakes again. Leave those men, pray to God (personally not through any pastor) and God will direct your path IJN
ReplyDeleteNB; Please do not allow anyone of them to defiled you because your body is God's temple
Somadina is jst too right(@ least, 4 once); anon 5:36, super correct. I once fell a victim and the regrets still live...
ReplyDeleteDear poster, forget abt ur bestie or wateva and concentrate on wat's more important. A man cud wait 4 4yrs and u're in doubt?
A word is enuff 4 d wise, of wch more dan a wrd has been uttered...
Don't ever date ur so called best friend.it will never work.u both are better off as BF than lovers.It happened to a friend of mine in schl.They were bestfriends for yrs.The day they felt a chemistry and slept wt each other,they broke up d following week.It was so messy.Till trw they lost the friendship.If u don't want to marry ur ex,leave him,let him go.Wait for someone neutral to come into d scene.You are still very young.dont rush it.
ReplyDeleteabeg no blind us with your cap naa.....ogini?
ReplyDeleteNo man of God worth his calling will tell you who ur husband is. Those who dabble into this area are fakes who are seeking to exploit a market. U can abuse me all u want but that is what I know. How come pastors have failed marriages or their children marry wrong. Dont be decieved.
ReplyDeleteThumbs up to "Mama Ijebu & Somadina".. They have said it all but make I put jare..Poster, I for call you MUMU but make I still give you benefit of doubt...
ReplyDeleteYou see butter(bfrnd) wey dey better ur bread for 4 good yrs.. You dey find Sardine(ur male bestie) wey go scatter you bread abi?
You think 4yrs of no sex with ur bfrnd is a joke(better hold that man, he is rare to find, has d fear of God & highly responsible).. Besides I always say n still maintain that it is hard to find a best friend of the opposite sex who doesnt want to sleep wit you at one time or the other.. The only thing hindering opposite sex bestie sleeping with eachother is the opportunity and the firmness of the person in question..
If you like go paris and lose that cherry cake you have been keeping for 24yrs in jst a few days of birthday vacations things (BBM update)... Lol..
I kuku aff talk my own...
The mumu that used caps to type trash.
ReplyDeleteIts an eyesore if you dunno.
Back to the topic, did you try making a bestfriend out of your ex-boyfriend?
Were you very close to him or it was strictly platonic?
Thats the mistake most lovers make.
Tolu is my bestie. You'd think we are siblings when you see us.
We look alike and we wrestle like siblings.
Be free with your partner.
Thats one of the secrets of a good relationship.
And you having a male bestfriend.
Don't you know a shoulder to cry on is a dick to ride on?
You don't know what you are in for Ma'am..
Just make a wise decision.
No let any pastor begin give you lie chop..
Somadina God bless your wisdom
ReplyDeleteYour boyfriend that can wait till after marriage before sex is the best,Scoop Visit Angel Maryjane David Blog
ReplyDeleteMy dear, the part about this story that got me disconnected was immediately you said you were a virgin and you ex-bf lets you have your way including adhering to the rule and the BS about how u want a firm guy. Ladies pleas since when did genuinely loving a girl beyond sex and letting her have her way become not being firm. Then when the guy beats you and demands sex now u would say DV...my dear you don't know what you want. You sound so much like my and I could have swore that its you, if not that the story plot is entirely different. Jst go for your masters and don't make the costly mistake of being involved with ur "best friend" cause you would just end up whore-ing yourself.
ReplyDeleteThe REAL problem is that u love ur bestfriend more than ur lover. U fantasize on how sex wud be with him. I lie?
ReplyDeleteBabe, make up with your ex. You guys hav lasted n should understand eachother. Your best friend may b wanting to have sex with u.in two years time, u may not meet another guy who will b willing to date u without sex. no man is perfect. You may meet the man of your dreams later n he will insist u guys hav sex. I am speaking from experience. Once you say, no sex, the relationship is over. Guys barely have self control. Make up with your ex...
ReplyDeleteBabe, don't you think you on a rebound? First, I don't subscribe to having a male best friend because if you have issues, its the same person you'll turn to and it takes a lot of discipline for feelings not to creep in. Having said that, I feel you don't know what your priorities are because you said something about MSc and all that. Don't you think you should get a job or something before thinking about marriage? When the chips are down, it would take more than love to sustain marriage. Besides, these two men you talked about, do you have the same goals, ideals, etc because these are what one considers before marriage. Pray, get a job. At 23, you are still quite young and God forbid it that you take a step you'll regret later.
ReplyDeleteNa wa ooo. Gals r really really dumb. So a guy agree to no sex 4 four yrs and abide by ur rule and u call him weak n nt firm. D long n short from dis ur story is dat u r drawn to d darkside and adventurous side of life which ur bestfriend will give u. U want to test d darkside b4 committing to marriage. If dat wat u wÀnt date ur bestie and see where it will lead u...u wanna knw y I side it?? Cos if u go back to u boyfriend and marry him if u av little problem in d future with him u will always remember ur bestie and which u did tins with him (pple next appreciate love until de feel hate). U need to experience a control n abusive man to appreciate a nice and cool headed man. U need to experience hate to appreciate love. So miss poster u will never appreciate u boyfriend until u experience sometin else. Or u see d big picture and big mature enuff to appreciate him.
ReplyDelete***yawns****, i'm bored, ur story is soooooo boring, i dnt knw weda i should start 4rm the beginning or begin from the start
ReplyDelete