Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Domestic Violence : This Pastor Beats His Wife Every Week.SAD

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Friday, October 18, 2013

Domestic Violence : This Pastor Beats His Wife Every Week.SAD




I have a relation in my home right now. She got married to a winners chapel pastor in 2010,the marriage was awesome. The wife got delivered of a bouncing baby boy in 2011 and a baby girl just last month. But alas! She called me around 7am last week Sunday crying that she can no longer bear it, I was shocked. She narrated her story that this her pastor husband has been beating here mercilessly for a very long time . 


That at the slightest provocation ,he'll beat her like hell . She then said they were preparing for service on Sunday that the husband then ask her to be fast in dressing for the new born baby while she was doing that ,she went to the kitchen to off the stove that has a boiling water on it,that was all. The pastor carried a lantern and wanted to pour kerosene on her saying"I will burn you to ashes and your family will come and carry your dead body" that afterall she's an orphan that no body will pick him on it. I cried because she had complications while giving birth. She said the night she came from the hospital after delivery that the pastor beat her and even on the day of the christening of the baby. 

She said the pastor beat her almost every week . I called my brother who said she should come and stay with me in lagos for now,till they sort things out. The husband started sending sms threatening her. He said she should return his baby that he doesn't want her again,that he wants to marry another woman. Meanwhile,when all these started, the lady reported it to his co-pastors who just kept on encouraging her. 

She popped the question yesterday ,asking me"aunty what do I do? I was like I am still thinking. I can't tell her to leave her matrimonial home nor go there to be killed by that man.

 Stella what do I tell her?

*Blog Visitors please help out.

Please I know that project alert reads this blog,can they please contact me for the contact of this blog visitor  to get in contact with the relation?.Thank you

117 comments:

  1. Thank he's a pastor in a gud nd well organised church,so pls they hav elders in tje church,other pastor take the issue to them and your husband will be call to order

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    1. Didn't you read the story? She has already reported and they did nothing to him, they just kept encouraging her. This is a very serious issue, she should not go back and die there oh! Her children need her, from the way the man sounds if she leaves them with him they will be terribly maltreated.

      Visit koolblend.blogspot.com for true life stories you can't afford to miss.

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    2. U ® very foolish 4 dis reply. Monkey! Didn't u read that she's bn reporting to oda pastors n all dey did was to encourage her? Well organised church indeed.

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    3. Seeing Papa Oyedepo miiight be difficult so my advice is thus, if you try to see him and it's not successful, book for a testimony in Canaan land make sure you do it in the service where Papa will be around. Tell the whole church what the pastor has been doing to his wife, trust me Papa will personally send for the pastor and all this rubbish will be sorted out. Mmake sure u go for the testimony with pictures of the battered wife and pls be honest when u are on pulpit..make sure u embarrass the bastard pastor thoroughly....i'm not married but i'll be damned before I let any element treat me like shit....that's my 2cents

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    4. @ Nene, u didn't hav to insult someone like that calling the person a fool just cos of a comment. Haba, u guys should stop all these insults especially when a comment or post is not directed to u.

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    5. @ Anon 10:37am I don't think you worship with the winners family so u may not be fully aware that u cannot book for a testimony in canaan land or any other branch without first narrating the testimony to the pastors in charge of testimonies. You cannot mount the pulpit for a testimony unless the testimony has been approved by the pastors. No pastor will allow her mount the pulpit to narrate such a thing. There's room for counselling. She has to seek for urgent attention from higher pastors in church

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    6. Anonymous 10.37 GBAM!!!

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    7. Ohhh please, then in this case she will give them a convincing testimony story and who knows they might give her a chance then she can give them the bomb when she reaches the pulpit...were you thinking she will tell them the truth...?!pls seat down.

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    8. Even if that's the case @11:40 whoo says she can't tell them a testimony and then says the truth when she's on the pulpit? Will they stop her from saying the truth when over 10thousand people are watching? Madam, if I were you, I would try what anon 10:37 said, by the time i'm done disgracing his ass, I would divorce the motherfucca if u like sit there and be forming ggood wife make person use u dey Form John Cena

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    9. I totally agree with anon 10:37. Abeg contact me if you are too scared I dey like this kind of public show. I will help you for free. Disgrace the bastard publicly..

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    10. SDKers am sorry but I ve 2 ask this question. Do DV apply only 2 women? I was in Leeds February 4 a 3mnts course. I was staying with my childhood frd and the husband thru' out my stay. What my eyes saw, my mouth no fit talk am. The way my frd bully her husband. She constantly slap and embarrass him at any given opportunity. 2 the extend she locked him up once in a dog house 4 2days without food or drink just bcos he didn't pick a Nigerian number that was calling Him. I was sneaking in food 4 him when ever she is out. The man cry like a baby most times. Not like my frd is the breadwinner o. No!! He works @ the local factory as their IT Manager and he do some other shift jobs he could lay his hands on...I know the both of them love each other with clear eyes cos my frd dnt ve the mind 4 native trad juju things. Plz now my question is what do u call this kind of treatment where a woman beats and bully the man. And where can the man in question run 2 4 help? plz am sorry this post is long. Needed 2 explain the little details. 10x yo'all.

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    11. Hmmm! If she goes against protocols or lies about her testimony only to say something different on the pulpit, she may not like the outcome. She may not even get the attention she seeks. Papa is very orderly. And like I said anon 10:37 if u were a winner u'll know that u have no access to the microphone as u give ur testimony. The testimony pastor holds the microphone and not you and once u go out of order...the mic is immediately pulled from your mouth. Follow protocols and get them to handle your case seriously. Papa doesn't joke with issues like this at all. You haven't gone to the right source or through the right channel. The victim who is a winner knows better than to mount the pulpit to say just anything. Winners is an extremely organised commission and will pull out the mic from your mouth and ask u to leave the altar before u can even say anything

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    12. Papa ko, mama ni...fake ass people, doing business in the name of church. Totally disgusting fellows.

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    13. @ADA NA SERIOUS FINE BE THAT O! HIAN!!!

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  2. The man you said is a pastor, and he stands on the pulpit everysunday hmmm. Ok pls she shouldn't return to him, he as made up his mind, he said he wants to marry another woman, and he has been threatening her. If the church can't put him in order, since she reported to the church, pls she should take her child and stay alive for the sake of the child. Let God deal with the so called pastor.

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  3. Hian!!!! Pastor? Winners Chapel? Lord, have mercy. If only the society doesn't see being single as a disease, most women won't be in this mess. Just the other day, a pure water seller who is heavily pregnant had an altercation with a single lady in my area. The next thing she said was, “no wonder you are not married”. I turned, looked at her and shook my head.. If hawking pure water in a pregnant state is her dividends of marriage, I'd rather be in that single lady's shoes, thank you..

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    1. So wetin you yarn now Oluyomi? Total Dust!!!

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    2. Oluyomi oh....Lmao. ure so funny. We need to be independent minded and don't let society pressures make us marry but then some men never shows any signs till you enter house. Na God go help us

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    3. @ Oluyomi, 10x a zillion 4 this comment. I can imagine her mouth like "no wonder u r not married" a pregnant pure water seller. That's the case my dear. We Africans think getting married is the in thing 4getting some people are single and happy while others r married but weep everyday. *smh* as 4 the lady in question on this post, my sincere advice is plz leave b4 u die there. I personally ve phobia 4 men that beat let alone one's husband beating and cursing her on a weekly bases! Wow!!! Plz dnt take this lightly. I can only imagine what u r going thru' and u had better leave now while u r alive or wait and manage and get urself killed in the process. One thing is 4 sure, he will never change.

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  4. Another 'Bash Ali' tale. #IGiveUp.

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  5. This is so absurd, she should go to the headquaters to report the man, This is not a laughing issue. Sge should visit either Bishop Aremu or the resident pastor in faith tabernacle. She should sha go the canaanland to report the issue. The church will automatically take care of her and her childrens needs.

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    Replies
    1. She doesnt need all this long story abeg. Two things i ll advice, get him blind or crippled and he ll be loyal to you forever, u ll be in charge of his funds and his life going forward, he can never hit i again. He can be a blind pastor and a crippled pastor and still be making money. Thr r area boys that do these things in Lagos for as low as 2k. This na small issue na.

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  6. Since the lady is safe at the home of the poster, it's a bit satisfactory. While there, the Winners Pastors have to come up with a quick decision on how to handle the behavior of their fellow pastor. I would expect them not to exhibit any form of diplomacy, as Our Lord Jesus Christ has NEVER been diplomatic. Domestic violence and threats are punishable under the Law. There should be some sort of restraining order; like a suspension and segregation, to give a clear message to all that violence in any form is a serious crime and would not be tolerated. I hope Winners pastors have such a sentiment.

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  7. I'm jst too shocked to comment. A pastor ? May G̶̲̥̅Æ ̴̴̴̴͡D̶̲̥̅ av mercy

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    Replies
    1. Shocked ke?
      Na today?mtcheeeew
      Pastors of nowadays,there is nothing they will do dat will amaze me.
      They've long lost my respect!

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  8. Just report him to papa oyedepo na!!! What a disgrace to the family of christ-ZEZE

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    Replies
    1. Nd who says d@ one is any beta
      I don't trust any man
      Man of God o
      Man of man
      Man of devil sef
      We re all humans

      Delete
  9. Hello Madam Estello, sorry to digress from the topic of discussion, it's just i've been unable to comment on your blog via tablet and also view/comment via phone. Pls why is that? is there a link i need to download to be able to do that. i had to come on pc to do this. i really wish i could, while 'm out and about so that i wont be restricted to pc alone. Thks in advance for your response.
    Now to the topic of discussion, i'll av to come back to comment, as i need to read the post :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes it is so with my tab too, that's if u browse with Opera mini... Try downloading another browser.

      Delete
    2. I have safari and google on my pad and that's what I use. Try downloading them. Myt help.

      Delete
    3. I have safari and google on my pad and that's what I use. Try downloading them. Myt help.

      Delete
  10. If she goes back he will end up killing her o.she should leave dat town and get herself empowerd she should care 4 herself and her kids its not gonna be easy but she has to b strong cos dat man is sick she can't go back to him.

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  11. Domestic violence hmm. I am a victim but I will advice d woman to speak out don't cover him any longer cos she may neva live to tell d story d best d man will tell his children wen he has killed der mama is SORRY. It very difficult to tell a married woman to leave her matrimonial home cos I found it difficult doin dat. Woman pls don't keep quiet.

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    1. Yes it is difficult, I'm notmarried but my friend is, and experiences DV everyday both physical, emotional, and otherwise... I adviced her to give him space for some time, but she has been reluctant... Taking and enduring the maltreatment, he will beat her during pregnancy and few weeks after delivery, even beat her in public. And he has refused to pay her bride price. I don tire fo her. I'm only praying that things will get better someday.

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    2. Yes it is difficult, I'm notmarried but my friend is, and experiences DV everyday both physical, emotional, and otherwise... I adviced her to give him space for some time, but she has been reluctant... Taking and enduring the maltreatment, he will beat her during pregnancy and few weeks after delivery, even beat her in public. And he has refused to pay her bride price. I don tire fo her. I'm only praying that things will get better someday.

      Delete
  12. VIOLENCE!
    VIOLENCE!!
    VIOLENCE!!!
    PLS God come to this woman's aid.
    Like he said nobody will ask of you and he won't be accounted for your death,pls try and get intouch with people that can help and may God help you.

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  13. U re very stupid..call a beast 2order abi? Comments like dis piss me off..DV z DV nd a Beast will remain a beast..she shld leave the marriage abeg b4 she dies der

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  14. Getting in touch with Project Alert is a great idea. They are very helpful to abused women and children. She should also report him to the leadership of Winners Chapel- Living Faith Church at Canaan Land Otta. Is she empowered? I mean does she have a job or a livelihood? Abusers tend to pick on people that are solely dependent on them. I wish her all the best.

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  15. I attend winners chapel and I know this kind of things are covered up. Reporting to his co-pastors won't solve d problem, the only thing they can do is to counsel him which might even aggrevate d problem at home. He won't be sacked for beating his wife and if he gets sacked, she's in more trouble. My advice is that she takes her children and leave her husband b4 he kills her. She should leave her matrimonial home if not the next time u see her it might be her corpse. Thank u for allowing her stay in ur home, pls don't send her back to her husband, she's a nursing mother and she needs all the love, care and support.

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    Replies
    1. You just lied. Who covers what up? If this matter gets to the leadership in canaanland, the Pastor will be investigated and dismissed. Sorry, the commission does not cover up things like that. You are definitely not a member of the church, perhaps you attend occasionally. This kind of issue has cropped up before in the past, and the Pastor was dismissed.
      This Lady can tru to reach Papa because as a Pastor's wife, it shouldn't be too difficult for her, she can easily get in touch with Pastor Ojeme, Pastor Ntia, Pastor Eduvie. Get in touch with Bishop Aremu, Bishop Abioye. She probably has been talking to the wrong people

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    2. The question now is, will she be willing to leave that man?

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    3. you are100% correct,winners chapel leaders will not toy with it.

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    4. Must it get to leadership in canaanland before it can be addressed????

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    5. Well, didn't u see where she said she has reported him to leaders? Can't they, as pastors, take the matter up for her?

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    6. Anon 12:31 you are so on-point. My thought exactly. Anon 10:25 is definitely not a winner. She must be a once-in-a-year member. People just say things they are not sure of. Please get your facts right before you claim winners chapel member

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  16. Please tell her to run with her children,and divorce him. Forget all this report to the elders nonsense.Before nko, when he can't fear God, he is supposed fear other men and treat his wife better? He is a pastor, not God. And he is an evil man. Point.Blank.Period.
    I don tire for all this woman beaters and abusers, regardless of their position.

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  17. Pls advice her to flee frm dat man/lunatic called her husband.He deserve to die....how dare he abuse a woman dat just gave birth.he's insane!!!

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  18. hello ms or mrs stella,

    the kind of damage you feminists are causing families and relationship through your propaganda against men is extremely despicable and wicked. if its not you or linda ikeji constantly promoting homosexuality in your blogs, its about men becoming wife-beating monsters. please leave men alone, the problem of domestic violence, though I don't support it, is not caused by men alone. get that into your stupid brain and know that all you feminist bloggers are damaging your country, your culture and even your imported religion. your budding feminist followers should be spared from your corruptive influences via your blogs. respect your husbands. SIMPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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    1. Shut up. Wife beater. It's not a propaganda...if you men can't control your fists, you're not fit to be a husband. The lot of you are cowards. So for the love of God, shut up....just shut up.

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    2. By what u Wrote u are one of those wife molesters, your wife is your partner not your slave! Lord am looking up to u cos am abt to marry and am so scared!

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    3. I don't think you are o.k., there is something wrong with you. Who is promoting homosexuality? Some men are monsters! Take it or leave it.

      Visit koolblend.blogspot.com for true life stories you can't afford to miss.

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    4. Oloriburuku, wife beater why u come dey take ur anger out on stella? No go fine where to vent that anger or better still go hug a transformer or jump into the sea, wicked man its ur type that encourage Domestic violence, rape etc, so its a crime stella is helping women who can speak out, Nigga get a life and think of something meaningful to do, coz u aint got brain. Ode

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    5. By their comments, ye shall know them!

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    6. May leprosy eat that ur hand u use in typing that rubbish! Wife beating oshi........onye aguu gtfo of this blog. This is a gathering of intelligent matured pple not lunatics with low self esteem. Nkita ala

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    7. You violent Rabid Dog of a man! Shut up in jesus name!!!

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    8. Bastard!
      I hate u so much already,wish I can spit on ur face!
      As long as u will keep beating ur wife to feel u are in control,u will soon loose that control and die an untimely death as God punishes u!
      Arrogant fool!whats feminist about this topic now?

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    9. Some comments on these different blogs make my day...some insults are just hilarious woaah...thank u stella baby and fellow commentators for making my day...obrigado

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  19. My Dear, go straight to d provicial pastor and complain, Winner's don't condone such nonsence, d husband will be dealt wit immediatly and will Ñ”̲̣̥Ï…̲̣̥Ñ”̲̣̥η be suspended, better still if Ʊ can reach any of d Bishops its better,a Pastor is supposed to be a good example nt a bad one. It is well wit u

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  20. God help u madame.Most of this so called men of God don't even practice what they preach...that's why I don't seek advice from them, and funny enough on Sunday u will see him facing puppet with well ironed suit telling u to love ur neighbour as urself. ....#hisses

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  21. Wao,dis is ridiculous,continue praying for him dear,cuz as a christian divorce is not an option. Meanwhile visit
    http://www.TheWorkPaid.com/?share=50581
    Make money by referal,absolutely free.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Divorce is not an option but domestic violence is abi? Am a christian n I strongly believe in making marriage work but her physically/emotional well-being n her children are more important than anytin.I wonder how devils in human skins get ordained as pastors these days

      Delete
  22. Its a pity the girl has no family, seeking help from the NGO seems to be the best option right now.

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  23. Got this online:
    Project Alert Nigeria
    Contact person :Josephine Chukwuma
    Phone : 01-8209387, 08052004698
    Address :21 ,Akinsanya Street, Ikeja, Lagos, Nigeria
    Land Mark :Off Isheri Road Taiwo Bus Stop
    Email :josephine@projectalertnig.org
    Website :www.projectalertnig.org

    ReplyDelete
  24. A pastor is just a title he's no way better than any of us , dear poster how many times did u report? Cos my sister's husband whom is just a home-cell provider $ leader beat his wife nd was dealt wit by their branch pastor, he was dropped from all his positions in church nd up till now he can't even eye her talk more of slap , I'm sorry to say dis but u didn't take d matter seriously wen he started beating u , u were obviously covering him up as a pastor concern , my dear I attend living faith church nd I knw d consequences of dis abuse u're facing, if u still want ur marriage go to headquarter wit ur kids nd narrate ur story to pst Aremu , ur husband wil b sacked trust me....Move on wit ur life marriage is not by force biko, u married a demon not a pastor.

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  25. U shouldn't die in d hands of a man cos he's a pastor , if he wants d kids u guys shld go to welfare , Woman pls ur life is precious, Never ever allow a man raise his hand on u., lot of ppl didn't live to tell their story . Be wise

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  26. Even Pastors??? Hmmm..

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  27. Pastor with anger issues, he should be well differentiated from agberos Now. He should be enlighten. The woman should seek the Ngos that cater for women maybe he will take heed and bury his shame. But anger is more of attitude. He need deliverance himself. I guess fellow pastors can't do much and so Pa Oyedepo could be highly difficult to reach but it shouldn't. She should try to see pa Oyedepo or any senior pastors before going public to the NGO thing. The test of man at times is can be know by how he treat his wife.
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  28. @anon21,u must be very silly

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  29. The title pastor doesnt make u more God fearing or holy. So pls dont b surprised about pastors misbehaving in church. That aside, the first step is to take her and her children out of this house, next she should think of how to pick up her life by getting a job/ trade cos its obvious he doesnt want her anymore. Afterall widows survive after dier partners die so its not a feat that cannot be accomplished. Afterbshe has done dis she can try to get the churchs attention , if he doesnt listen to d advice of the church den she should delete him from her memory her life is importnt! Even if he makes her feel otherwise

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  30. let her leave the man and keep the child. Any woman the pastor remarries is likely to maltreat the child. If the husband insists on having the child, let her sue him and tell the judge in court how the man beats her and the risk he poses on the child. The court will rule in her favor. Wish her the best of luck

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  31. I know a Redeemed pastor who also beats and ill -treats his wife. That he is a pastor is not anything to consider. I have stopped having any respect for pastors because they are pastors. I am married to one. At home, they are human beings-flesh and blood-period.This woman should take steps to leave that marriage. He is going to kill or maim her one day. Fellow pastors will keep quiet about the abuse because they see it as indicting one of their own. So reporting to them is not going to help much . You married a man, not a pastor. And if the man is a monster, then take your decision. To keep considering what people will say and live with a monster or to consider your own life and leave.

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  32. I live in the UK and with what I have seen so far, my chances of marrying a Nigerian man are just 10 percent. With the kind of stories I read about DV in that country, Chai... Madam, take heart. I hope project alert comes to her aid, no child deserves to grow up in that kind of home.
    N.B I'm not stereotyping Nigerians cos DV happens anywhere, all I am saying is Nigeria gives DV a thriving environment to grow in.

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    1. DV thrives everywhere even in environment where there are systems in place to help. I live in the UK. I'm sure you are familiar with the lady whose eyes were gouged out by her partner in a fit of rage. He was jailed but guess what, she fell victim to another man who pounced on her at will again despite the fact that she's blind! This happened in the UK.
      It's not the nationality or environment that matters, it's that God should guide us into the right relationships and that His Will be done in our lives.

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    2. Very true..Naija is a society that has no laws to protect women and children(these are the most vulnerable ones in any society)

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  33. Anon 10:41 AM, your comment explicitly describes the kind of home you were brought up. House-Of-Pain. Linda Ikeji and SDK have now become feminists for speaking against violence on women, right? Was your mother violated as you were growing up? Did you enjoy it? Kudos to daddy, right? Please tell us about it, we're eager to hear about your violent upbringing.

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  34. Pastor or no pastor, he's a human being and when a human being decides to beat up his fellow human being like an animal, especially his spouse, abeg RUN FOR YOUR DEAR LIFE!!! The other pastors she ran to to complain about her ordeal are very wicked gan! If she doesn't leave that marriage, she may eventually die in it. Better be safe than sorry.

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  35. I swear,im so angry @ everybdy sayin report 2 pastor report 2 pastor,wot if she wasn't married 2 a pastor,y dnt u advice her d way u advice those who r suffering 4rm domestic violence,if she goes 2 those pastors n report again,it'll only take a while b4 d man strts again,d marriage is already loveless,dat man hz no compassion in his hrt 4 her anymre,i suggests she stays away 4rm dat man,hes a bruute nd can kill

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  36. Hmm wonders shall not end. Please remove the Pastor title frm this man, he is a beast. My sister went through this but the husband was not a pastor. Am a devoted christian that understand the word but mehn God did not say my sister should be killed by her husband in marriage. When she decided to leave cus i no put mouth, i encouraged her and now she is happy. S girl if you want to go back because of what people will say, go ahead and get killed. But if you have a purpose of living, just get out of there. If evil maen sees their daughters in such situation and quickly rescue them, how about the all loving and good Lord, won't he fight for HIS own. Wisdom is profitable to direct o. Be wise.

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  37. you know i do not want to sound insenstive, but all this women now complaining about domestic abuse, knew what they were getting into when they married these so called coward/ bully husbands. So many nigerian ladies are so much into marriage like it is their oxygen. There is no way this man did not show traits of an abuser before she married him. Women have a lot of instincts, her gut instinct must have told her not to marry him, but she turned a blind eye. Now she is suffering the consequences. When one tries to talk to these women, they equate it as been jealous. I rather live single than allow an asshole with an ape-ish brain send me to an early grave. Oh also if you run to your parents in nigeria, they will immediately blame the woman. They would say she has not been a good wife, or she needs to go an apologise to her husband. Yuck!!! I guess they rather see their daughters in a body bag. A Nation that is filled with egotistic, sadist, oppressive, arrogant, cowards, wimps, and ape-ish men. Yuck!!! i difinately pass. Thats why i will never marry a nigerian man

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    Replies
    1. My dear it is not always true! Sometimes you can never truly know someone until you live with them. Sometimes the signs don't show before the marriage. So don't judge.

      Visit koolblend.blogspot.com for true life stories you can't afford to miss.

      Delete
  38. SDKers, pls ignore anon 10.31 am. Silence is the best answer for .........( pls put in the appropriate term).

    Now to the real problem, DV will always escalate if it's not curbed immediately. This is beyond mere slaps(which is bad in itself but can quickly be curtailed with intervention and God's Grace) but we are talking about life n death now. The lady in question should NOT go back for now. No one is talking of divorce but this is what separation is meant for. Stay apart. He should go to anger mgt classes, invest in fasting and prayers and prove beyond reasonable doubt that he has really changed. Only then should a trial get together be proposed under the watchful eye of family, church, friends , even police sef ! A pastor is a man at the end of the day; the devil can use him any time , any day. If he still hasn't changed, MOVE OUT and STAY OUT. Life has no duplicate!

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  39. Didn't you see where she said the pastor has been reported to other pastors and all they did was encourage her.

    Please people marriage is not a do or die affair. If your husband is beating you, it is perfectly okay to pack your load and comot. As a Christian, yes it's true, God hates divorce, but God does not and can never hate you. Even if you're divorced, God does not condemn you, so why are you condemning yourself to a life of misery, injury and violence. You're God's child, do you think a life of being a victim is what he wants for you? Please walk and save yourself.

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  40. Oluyomi odukoya dey lie gan #koo

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  41. The so called pastor is in love with someone else and does not love d woman...maybe he never did...
    She better RUN from him and take her children...far away...
    She should not trust any of the co pastors from Winners..cos they will want to cover it up as it will be in the best interest of the church...
    The guy wants his children and not her..so she should better be smart ...she needs to 'disappear ' for a while...
    Look for a job..start a new life...
    Marraige is not a death sentence and not by force...her children needs her ALIVE...otherwise another woman will take care of them when she is killed by her pastor..

    She should google TItI ARowolo...and read her story..she should google Yetunde OLotu..and read her story....both dead..killed by the hate and suffering from a marraige...both husbands are men of GOd..

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  42. She should report her pastor husband to another pastor who is probably doing the same or even worse in his own home? Please people look at the bigger picture. I don't know what to advice to be honest. I just wish her all the best.

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  43. When are pastors going to stop these atrocities, from adultery, fraud to DV! Lord have mercy!!!

    ReplyDelete
  44. Let me give u a story of one of my neighbors.
    Mama( grandma) has a shop. One day, we noticed she dint open her shop for almost a most. Went to look for her to check up since she is old. Found out she lost her daughter. How? Her husband beat her to a state of coma and she eventually died.

    Not the 1st time he had been neating her. Ppl advisef her to stay and alll that bs.

    Pls my dear, you can work tns out from afar. If youreally love him and all, call his parents. Tell them u av moved out and why.

    But dont go back til you are sure he has changed.

    ReplyDelete
  45. To be honest wit u, most of dis girls see all dis abuse coming but just bcos marriage has become Oxygen to naija peeps e.g My blood sister.......d husband has temper issues , she saw it , like 5 different pastors told my mum abt d beating after marriage , we begged her to call it off but she refused , I mum got involved in d preparation 3days to d marriage, me have told her " d day u die ur husband wil re-marry d next week" wat am I saying? Most of dem saw it coming.

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  46. Pastors are human beings not gods. Our lord Jesus himself knew there will be such people as this pastor. My dear, run for your life. Being married is not a visa to get to heaven and God will not ask for your husband on judgement day, . God knows you tried your best and what has been meant to hurt you will turn around for your good IJMN. Be very strong and courageous this too shall surely pass.

    ReplyDelete
  47. I'm not sure she will have a job, cos most of d full time pastors wives in winners don't work(though they are usually educated) because they transfer their husbands frequently, I will advice d poster should please let her stay and look for job for her no matter how little, so she can stand on her own, even if she reports him till tomorrow, the worse they can do is to dismiss him, dat won't change any thing, exept God touches his hearth. I've always said I can't marry a pastor, cos of BS like this

    ReplyDelete
  48. Pastors, hmm, with wat I've seen in my little life, I can never marry a pastor. Cos a lot of them ar hipocrites

    ReplyDelete
  49. of course you are anonymous. see the rubbish coming out of that suck away pit you call mouth! you are the type that beats women thatz why you are so uncomfortable when decent pple are trying to put a stop to this rubbish. May God punish you

    ReplyDelete
  50. i think it time for Nigerian women to learn self-defense and beat the living day lights out of this brutish men. Lord knows how wimpish these men are. Over hear when you hear of nigerian domestic violence, and the men are arrested they cry and plead like cowards. Look at them thinking they arw men. A man never puts his hands on a woman NEVER. I wish i was married to this pastor, he would regret the day he was born. HEATHEN!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Anon #63, no you are not being insensitive by saying people who scream DV, DV after marriage must have nown, you are merely being naive. Being naive led me into the trap of a marriage that I am in now.
    I married the best man ever...good to a fault. I never believed he could harm a fly...religious, kind, quiet, didn't follow women, generous, young, good prospects, cooked for me etc. As a young girl and an old married woman now, I had prospects and still have prospects, serious prospects, if I decide to date even one of my prospects today, I would make for a juicy blog scandal. Which is why during the last Ada's 3rd wife story I said congratulations to her, I feel her truly cos I had such prospects but went for my young Bo, cos we could work hard and buy that private jet abi?

    Fast forward a decade, the man is somebody else. Sometimes I wish he would be physically violent so that I can have a mark to show. The emotional abuse I have gone through......

    All I am trying to say is.....you never know. You might never see any sign of this in your angel, maybe you might notice in the extended family etc if you are close, but maybe not. People change, and frankly I have no answer to this. Maybe, as human beings we need to consider others. Nobody is your exclusive property to treat as you like, no matter what. Once again, Ada Ufondu, I know you not, but congratulations once again. He would not hit you, he would cherish you. If you ever decide to leave, you leave with a lot abi? Your own nobi to go shelter matter. My take.

    ReplyDelete
  52. if u truly know winners...u wud knw dat dey wud nva cover it up....altho i knw dey wud not advise divorce sha bcos of their doctrine

    ReplyDelete
  53. @anon 51...that pestle is made for your empty head, you wimp. see how you brag as if you are goliath with a pestle. just keep quiet and accept the fact that feminism is ungodly. even if you are an atheist, expecting to be feared by your husband or rather to control him is un-african. even if you are non-African or white, real white wives respect their husbands (stop looking at the non-African or white celebrities), they are only making a living. As for @anon 65...you named yourself 'feminist', so am not surprised about your 'leprosy' curse but I can only pray 'back to sender'. real, intelligent feminists respect and love their husbands, they are not militant and/or seek to challenge their men. they enjoy intelligent arguments devoid of rancour. why would their be fight in such a case? from your curse, you are simply a 'gutter feminist' who might probably be gay (lesbian) because I doubt any real man will stay around you for long. please don't/stop seduce/seducing our young, impressionable daughters into lesbianism because this is what you bloody feminist lesbians do these days as soon as they leave for boarding school, telling us the gay disease is in your genes. it is mostly not you pervert!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  54. Oh my God, googled yetunde olotu's dv story. Av been crying uncontrollably. How callous of the husband. A so called pastor. My God

    ReplyDelete
  55. cant belive this18 October 2013 at 22:53

    May God help us alllllllll from be hands of d evil ones

    ReplyDelete
  56. Sometimes the marriage we thought we would have is not what we end up to get. Some cases, the abuse will not show in courtship. It depends on how long the courtship was and how close the proximity was. If they are committed churchians, they wouldn't be spending so much time together in courtship. Church programs will account for 70% of time spent together. So those blaming her that she should have seen the signs are not being fair. And in any case, how does that help the poor girl now? she needs a solution not accusation.

    ReplyDelete
  57. @Queen Bee or 101...you can't create a life and don't even know when God wills your own death and you are here predicting the death of other people. Evil women/feminists like you masquerading as opinion leaders on Stella's blog don't like to hear the truth. The truth is bitter, that is why it pinches you feminists so much as to run your mouths like you have just done. Ok, hate men, fight them, kill them only by yourself but don't corrupt other girls/women and confuse them to believe that all men are monsters. The way you just cursed me now and wished me death is the way you may probably do to a man who may be unlucky enough to have you as a wife. Why won't the man be provoked to the point of violence as a reaction to your own violence which is, in this case, verbal. How can you dare look into your husband's eyes and utter such wicked words without him over-reacting towards you. There are limits to a man's patience when they relate with women like you. Do you realise that you can hurt someone more with your words than with your hands. Queen Bee my dear, just pray that God delivers you from your deep hatred for men/husbands. If you have brothers do you hate them like this as to predict their death just because they offered their opinion on a DV issue? tufiakwa!!!!!!! I just pity our beautiful women/wives with missed opportunities of a long-lasting and blissful marriages had it been they ignored the feminist propaganda against Nigeria/African men currently being orchestrated in social media by the likes of you. Peace be with you Queen Bee.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Somehow am thinking........This man "maybe"a true man of God. He maybe one of those that does deliverance sessions in church. Now, if such people are not steadfast in prayers, demons have a way of manipulating and possessing them that they begin to act in a way that makes you shudder. Talk about destroying him totally as payback for casting them (demons) out from individuals

    The wife should stay off him for now(better off at poster's house) while the matter be presented to the General overseer of the church. He should be prayed upon.

    Some things are not straight jacket as it appears.




    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God Bless You. This is EXACTLY what went thru my mind.

      Delete
  59. All you men shouting about respect are morons. Respect goes both ways, you earn respect, it is not forced. By the way who the hell do you men think you are? You are not Gods, even the bible says to be gentle with men. violence breeds violence. Let me tell you men something one of my american friends her husband treathen to kill her. He use to beat her up almost everyday until she had enough, and put a bullet in his heart. Tjat ended that. I know for sure that nigerian men would not try this overseas, because of the laws, and the men are afraid to die by the hands of a woman " cowards". Nigerian women need to step up and pressure the govt to enact laws against DV, and make the police enforce the laws, by purging abusive officers from their force. Remember women nothing will be done until you guys support each other with determination. As for the men i know there are good men in nigeria, but you guys need to come out and support this cause. All i can say to the pastor's wife have courage, and leave that monster/devil Asap. Before tragedy occurs.

    ReplyDelete
  60. He is a Pastor in a good and well organized church indeed. And you shall know them by their fruits (Matthew 12:33)

    Anyway, take ur pastor husband to MFM for deliverance bcus he need to accept Christ in truth and spirit before he can become a change person. #myopinion#

    The church warning him will not solve the matter for all know.

    ReplyDelete
  61. If you are not a serious member of winners chapel dont come here and give the church a bad name.....she should stay where she is now and go back to the church and report the pastor......if she has already left the house there won't be any talk of her going home for now but she should insist a meeting is called so she can tell them about his behavior to her....this is to ensure he is not a threat to other women and he can be put on suspension so he knows he needs to change his attitude.....and all you ignorant lot who think any human is perfect, there is no church where you have no bad eggs so what ever you think pastors will forever be ordained by God to propagate his church and lead his people......bishop oyedepo does not beAt his wife so he will not tolerate a pastor doing that if he is aware.....she should not make the mistake of going back now cos she has no one and that man will take her child......let her also look for a job ASAP

    ReplyDelete
  62. I wish i can tell my story. if you report ,you will be asked how many times has he beaten you? like they are waiting for him to beat you to death.

    ReplyDelete
  63. @Blesyn Esifa. My dear, please don't be surprised at all, a lot of heinous crime are being committed under the disguise of pastor. that woman should not go back.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Pls if you are in Lagos go to raji PBA iyanaipaja church office to report him officially to marriage chancellor pastor in charge or if u are in cotta get down to church secretariat and make or report officially to the pastor I charge of marriage issue. Better still put or husband in prayer if u are a true christian and a winner in deed.

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  65. By their fruit you shall know them,don't be decieved by title a lot is going on. A so called pastor almost destroy my marriage if not for God,trust no one but God. Be wise

    ReplyDelete
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