Hi Stella,
My name is Crystal, am a Nigeria but am currently in Canada. I need the advise of your readers.
I have a problem, i want to stop gossiping. I talk about people behind their back and immediately i start to feel back. I wish i could live a life whereby i will never discuss people behind their back as i hate when people talk about me.
I try as much as possible but i find myself commenting when my friends discuss people. The problem is not that i bring up the issues, but when they(my friends) are discussing pple, i normally comment because i feel it will be rude for me not to.
Stella, i ve observed something, when they discuss people, no matter how little i talk, they always end up putting me in the middle. Maybe because when i know someone is bad and we talk about her behind her back, i will show it to the person thinking my friends too will. But they never do. At th end labeling me as the bad person even though they all talk bad about the person behind her.
I want your readers advice as this has happened to me severally and am beginning to wonder if the problem is with me and how i can live free of gossip.
I wish to be a reliable and trustworthy friend.
Thank you.
*my dear i cant advise you on this one,gossip is one thing everyone is guilty of oh...just change your crowd or padlock your mouth.
Any time u suspect ur abt to gossip or gossip is about to start around u, just go look for food and eat. Repeat dis process Trust me it works like magic.
Gossip na my food but d only thing I Dnt do is reaviling things dat I was told to kep as secret, d rest na my food I fear no Barger I pray for people's to gossip so dat I will b free to gossip dem without no fear. So let's secret b kip aside wen u gossip.......
I no fit laff abeg, oya na jeje pack ur amebo giv sdk the amebox mak she help u o jare. I feel ur pain my sister my advice 2u b say mk u go join ushering unit 4 church, e go hlp ur ministry or rada go 2d nearest mfm coz na frm the village tins de do u. That ur mouth mak e no put u 4 trouble setey dem go depot u lyk one of my distant cousin wey b say na Ameboxes snd am com nigeria. Ngwanu ka emesia.
Gossip is very unhealthy my dear. You are the only one that can change the situation.first prsy to God everyday about it untill you see a chage and be less opinionated. You must not contribute to every topic even when askef to, learn to say I don’t know or I can't say. Also use your time more productivly and avoid people who tslk about others.
I think u are jobless and lazy thats why u have all the time in the whole world to gossip about. I will advice u to find something doing and get urself busy.
See tony calling a person jobless. When any post I check you are always among the top to comment and its not like you have anything intelligent to say. Empty headed soul like you. I've never met any commentator as daft as you are.
It's difficult because you will still do it with your siblings and family. Try to avoid she said he said, avoid group gatherings and avoid having too many friends.
*yawns* Boringgggg... Kip gossiping k? One day the table will turn and u'll hear all ur so called frnds have bn saying behind ur back 2... Asiri bakute!!!
SDK of life i love d pic u used in depicting did story.. abeg ma dear change ya friends or better still start to dey blog like sdk....after all i dey gossip ur mata behind ya back too
Everyone @ one point or the other is guilty of gossip. Just that over time, we all learn the hard way or otherwise.I don't think its stoppable o! But u can reduce it. My opinion is, try as much as possible to talk less or simply walk away when such convos come up. Use ur phone, walk away frm that crowd for a while and when you come back, just smile if your opinion is needed. Most importantly, remind yurself always that you are aiming towrds less gossip.
You cant stop gossipping, get over it babes, this gossip thing has been happening since our fore fathers and you wont be the one to stop it. Like stella said Paddlock your mouth or change the listening crowd. Gbam!!! Even Stella you are asking and SDKer readers for advices are all guilty of Gossip, incl me. So go take a sit somewhere while you let us enjoy gossip... :)
Aunt Stella this one u haven't posted it,is it that u haven't heard jim has proposed to Nadia???? Just heard it on ray power o,abeg do bring us the tori.
There is no way one(especially a seemingly vibrant women) will close her mouth and not talk.... Like stella said, change the people u hang out with, people u call ur bloody friends... Associate urself with people whose gossips are intellectual and not petty
The problem u have is that u are not a proffesional gossip like some of us lol!in that when u see the subject of ur gossip,u can't help but show urself' u are an amateur gossip baby.try and mature ur game.don't take the issue discussed to heart dats d only way u will not react to the gossiped'.u are just like my hubby infact,I have stopped gossiping about my friends to him. As long as u didn't say lies about someone,gossip is almost a normal way of life for pple who are not coy introverts!it keeps the jist going smooth u know#wink wink# Ok bye.
Urmmm, are you being sarcastic or for real?. If you are for real, there's a caption on top that says "Gossip..it only happens here" you might just be on the wrong boat dude..keep looking..my 2 cents tho, you don't have to say anything when others are back slamming, change the subject or just show them u are uncomfortable talking abt it..there's also nothing wrong with just listening..you ll get more respect and integrity if you steer away from that.
you talk about how you are innocent, feel guilty, show who you are gossiping about what your gossiped about (the worst kind of gossip in the world). But still, you will always put your ear for ground to listen to the gossip. SMH! your friends should be the ones avoiding you. They are dumb. When they cut your source of gossip, you will go and find new sources till everyone runs from you. Then you will learn to keep what you have heard to yourself. Alakoba.
I guess it's your hobby. Àkèe is my hobby. Now all you need to do is to pick up a new habit. E.g start chewing gum. That will keep your mouth busy all the time. Whenever you feel like gossiping, then quickly get a chewing gum or have them send you bubble gum from Nigeria.
I like gossip but in a harmless fun way. I used to engage in badmouthing until I met my 2 current Oyinbo friends. Omo, I trip for these girls when I met them. No evil bone in their body. They are just incapable of saying anything bad so I gradually changed for the better too.
So far, the best comment from BLOGLORD. We have good and bad gossips. If your conscience pricks you when you gossip or you know your gossip affects someone's life negatively, that's a BAD gossip. Gossip about good things: achievements, marriage, giving birth, birthdays, excellent leaders, etc.
By the way, SDK na Duchess of gossip, good or bad. So, asking for her advice na long journey. Hehehe
This used to happen to me until I sat down and told myself to stay away from certain people,I even deleted some from my bb. Now I have peace. Am a very loving person but somehow I normally find myself in the middle of gossip but I have promised myself never again,if you gossip about anybody to me now I start defending that person with that I won't have anything bad to say so you can't quote me and once I discover it gives a friend joy in running her friends down I run.
Noskyjay if she gossipt about you, do u want to kill her ur threat is funny woman get a grip of urself, even this blog u are on is a gossip blog and u see the drama that unfolds here everyday, there r gossips and there r gossips, some can ruin one and some can build one, engage in good gossip, leave behind backbiting and badmouthing, i gossip wt my friends but i dont run people down and whatever i cannot say in ur presence i wl diplomatically dodge any talk arnd it, and i dont badmouth people, i speak in favor of people and sometime i use my friends as examples for others to learn but i wl not mention names, even sometimes i talk about myself and tell friends it happened to someone i know so shape ur life and all will be good for u
U want to stop gossiping and u came to a gossip blog 4 advice, where d blogger(SDK) is a chattered gossip and d blogees (we her visitors) are d baddest gossips ever liveth. It is well o SMH 4 u
Reminds me of a girl that went to university of jos " Timi Sambo" bloody gossip and i hear she has not changed even thought she is in Ireland and married with 4 children . Sname
You are a real mums.....you want a solution to your problem and you come meet Stella wey her amebo dey smell......sorry for you your case will become chronic cos Stella gossips for a living......my advice to you is change your friends....
my dear, its not your fault. its from the root, d root can never be different from the branches.go n ask some elders in your village. one person is ur lineage is a gossiper
Stay away from friends look for positive things to do with your time, keep busy, read good books, enjoy your own company join a gym my dear I don't talk to anyone after a while people will forget about you which is better, people only see my from a far, they respect me more now. This is what I did now am super happy with myself When am board I read SKD's blog for a good laff. This will make life less stressful and less dramatic.
i know d feeling when friends put u in d middle waiting to hear ur part. the thing is just act stupid like"ehhh shes like dt i never knew , but i thougt.., oh mayb it was just a mistake' etc. i never gossip with any friend just my sister.
Ahh, I don't waste my time chatting to my frenemies, they take joy in twisting your words around and leaving your life a mess, our b&b chats end in hi, long time. That's why Stella's blog is my addiction, I use it as an outlet to satisfy my gos craving. Power to my SDKs pc! Nosey
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Any time u suspect ur abt to gossip or gossip is about to start around u, just go look for food and eat. Repeat dis process Trust me it works like magic.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahaha
DeleteShe'll be overweight in no time!...EEE!!!
DeleteLmao... You wicked oo... Make she come fat for house abi?
DeleteShe go just fat anyhow and the next thing she would be the case study...
DeleteGo to d tailor and sew up ur lips lol
ReplyDeleteYou are really pretty chi
Deleteleave her alone ooh...shes pregnant with her third child.
Delete@ Prittichy What's ur ad. My boss is moving in2 a new place in Apo. Will need an interior expect. 10x!!
DeleteSee the good Madonna peeps repping us well not that dirty sophie sleek Mschewwwww
DeleteWaste of space! Mtchew abeg FOH
ReplyDeleteGossip na my food but d only thing I Dnt do is reaviling things dat I was told to kep as secret, d rest na my food I fear no Barger I pray for people's to gossip so dat I will b free to gossip dem without no fear. So let's secret b kip aside wen u gossip.......
ReplyDeleteNa wa for u oooo na gossip Barron u dey ask advice? Mydear try elsewhere cos Stella gossip for a living lol
ReplyDeleteChange ur friends.
ReplyDeleteI no fit laff abeg, oya na jeje pack ur amebo giv sdk the amebox mak she help u o jare. I feel ur pain my sister my advice 2u b say mk u go join ushering unit 4 church, e go hlp ur ministry or rada go 2d nearest mfm coz na frm the village tins de do u. That ur mouth mak e no put u 4 trouble setey dem go depot u lyk one of my distant cousin wey b say na Ameboxes snd am com nigeria. Ngwanu ka emesia.
ReplyDeletebuhahahahahah, LMFAOOOO, Ewoooo wetin I no go see! fix your mouth up simple!
ReplyDeleteGossip is very unhealthy my dear. You are the only one that can change the situation.first prsy to God everyday about it untill you see a chage and be less opinionated. You must not contribute to every topic even when askef to, learn to say I don’t know or I can't say. Also use your time more productivly and avoid people who tslk about others.
ReplyDeleteok
ReplyDeleteI think u are jobless and lazy thats why u have all the time in the whole world to gossip about. I will advice u to find something doing and get urself busy.
ReplyDeleteAm surprised you didn't call her a "whore" cos every woman has a negative name in ur handbook. Nonsense
DeleteSee tony calling a person jobless. When any post I check you are always among the top to comment and its not like you have anything intelligent to say. Empty headed soul like you. I've never met any commentator as daft as you are.
DeleteIf u are in a place and they start talking about someone,move away. If u can, go solo for a while.
ReplyDeleteIt's difficult because you will still do it with your siblings and family. Try to avoid she said he said, avoid group gatherings and avoid having too many friends.
ReplyDelete*yawns* Boringgggg... Kip gossiping k? One day the table will turn and u'll hear all ur so called frnds have bn saying behind ur back 2... Asiri bakute!!!
ReplyDeleteit is asiri gbape ute meaning gossip, spead open the mat!
DeleteLols. Stella your own no good ooo......well my dear, a padlock will do as stella said. Just stay positive anyways
ReplyDeleteSDK of life
ReplyDeletei love d pic u used in depicting did story..
abeg ma dear change ya friends
or better still start to dey blog like sdk....after all i dey gossip ur mata behind ya back too
Bros u miss road o. U have come 2 a gossip blog 2 ask gossips 2 help u stop gossiping. Abeg go church joh - signed mimi from miami
ReplyDeleteEveryone @ one point or the other is guilty of gossip. Just that over time, we all learn the hard way or otherwise.I don't think its stoppable o! But u can reduce it. My opinion is, try as much as possible to talk less or simply walk away when such convos come up. Use ur phone, walk away frm that crowd for a while and when you come back, just smile if your opinion is needed. Most importantly, remind yurself always that you are aiming towrds less gossip.
ReplyDeleteI av this problem toooooooooo
ReplyDeleteBe a one man squad.stay away from friends.shikena
ReplyDeleteYou cant stop gossipping, get over it babes, this gossip thing has been happening since our fore fathers and you wont be the one to stop it. Like stella said Paddlock your mouth or change the listening crowd. Gbam!!! Even Stella you are asking and SDKer readers for advices are all guilty of Gossip, incl me. So go take a sit somewhere while you let us enjoy gossip... :)
ReplyDeleteChange ya friends or talk less when you are with them! ...EEE!!!
ReplyDeleteAunt Stella this one u haven't posted it,is it that u haven't heard jim has proposed to Nadia???? Just heard it on ray power o,abeg do bring us the tori.
ReplyDeleteIts inevitable...even if you dont gossip about others, you can't stop people from talking about you, but u can reduce the rate
ReplyDeleteThere is no way one(especially a seemingly vibrant women) will close her mouth and not talk.... Like stella said, change the people u hang out with, people u call ur bloody friends... Associate urself with people whose gossips are intellectual and not petty
ReplyDeleteMadam Stella,i just come back from China, please welcome me back; missed you all.
ReplyDeleteTHE BACHELOR;
So we shud strt crying cos u just came bak from china?
DeleteThe problem u have is that u are not a proffesional gossip like some of us lol!in that when u see the subject of ur gossip,u can't help but show urself' u are an amateur gossip baby.try and mature ur game.don't take the issue discussed to heart dats d only way u will not react to the gossiped'.u are just like my hubby infact,I have stopped gossiping about my friends to him.
ReplyDeleteAs long as u didn't say lies about someone,gossip is almost a normal way of life for pple who are not coy introverts!it keeps the jist going smooth u know#wink wink#
Ok bye.
Urmmm, are you being sarcastic or for real?. If you are for real, there's a caption on top that says "Gossip..it only happens here" you might just be on the wrong boat dude..keep looking..my 2 cents tho, you don't have to say anything when others are back slamming, change the subject or just show them u are uncomfortable talking abt it..there's also nothing wrong with just listening..you ll get more respect and integrity if you steer away from that.
ReplyDeleteyou talk about how you are innocent, feel guilty, show who you are gossiping about what your gossiped about (the worst kind of gossip in the world). But still, you will always put your ear for ground to listen to the gossip. SMH! your friends should be the ones avoiding you. They are dumb. When they cut your source of gossip, you will go and find new sources till everyone runs from you. Then you will learn to keep what you have heard to yourself. Alakoba.
ReplyDeleteMt dear, stella cannot help u.
ReplyDeleteIts lik takin an ailment to d wrong doctor.
Rememba:
STELLA DIMOKO KORKUS BLOG
Gossip... It only apens here.
Stella if u like swallow my comment, I hop it wld nourish ur skin.
I guess it's your hobby. Àkèe is my hobby. Now all you need to do is to pick up a new habit. E.g start chewing gum. That will keep your mouth busy all the time. Whenever you feel like gossiping, then quickly get a chewing gum or have them send you bubble gum from Nigeria.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteChange your friends.
I like gossip but in a harmless fun way. I used to engage in badmouthing until I met my 2 current Oyinbo friends. Omo, I trip for these girls when I met them. No evil bone in their body. They are just incapable of saying anything bad so I gradually changed for the better too.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSo far, the best comment from BLOGLORD. We have good and bad gossips. If your conscience pricks you when you gossip or you know your gossip affects someone's life negatively, that's a BAD gossip. Gossip about good things: achievements, marriage, giving birth, birthdays, excellent leaders, etc.
DeleteBy the way, SDK na Duchess of gossip, good or bad. So, asking for her advice na long journey. Hehehe
This used to happen to me until I sat down and told myself to stay away from certain people,I even deleted some from my bb. Now I have peace. Am a very loving person but somehow I normally find myself in the middle of gossip but I have promised myself never again,if you gossip about anybody to me now I start defending that person with that I won't have anything bad to say so you can't quote me and once I discover it gives a friend joy in running her friends down I run.
ReplyDeletelol. no be small thing. come make i teach u how to stop. all u need to do is gossip about me, and that would definitely be Ur last gossip.
ReplyDeleteHahahahha evul sumbody
DeleteHmmm, we're all guilty of gossip.....Signed: 'bigdick' Ayodele Esq
ReplyDeleteBig dick Ayodele,are u really big? #salivating#
DeleteStella stella,lmao.everybody o
ReplyDeleteI av ds problem tooooooooo
ReplyDeleteYou are not 'gossiping' with the right people.
ReplyDeleteGossip is common placed. Everybody talks.... Some , healthy gossip, some major rundown...
Choose your gossip partner(s) properly.
If you gossip with people wey go bring out your leg, OYO is ya case!
Oya you know what, just mind what you say. Since its difficult for you to stop, engage in Diplomatic gossip.
#shikena!
Just keep urself from idle and non-profiting chats.You ar d only one who can actually help.Desist frm it.Discipline yourself
ReplyDeleteHehehe I have ds problm too,I'm so sure my stupid gossip abt me too
ReplyDeleteCheck the next door
ReplyDeleteCrystal, don't worry!
ReplyDeleteUr own na moi moi where LUCEBRACEE dey!
Noskyjay if she gossipt about you, do u want to kill her ur threat is funny
ReplyDeletewoman get a grip of urself, even this blog u are on is a gossip blog and u see the drama that unfolds here everyday, there r gossips and there r gossips, some can ruin one and some can build one, engage in good gossip, leave behind backbiting and badmouthing, i gossip wt my friends but i dont run people down and whatever i cannot say in ur presence i wl diplomatically dodge any talk arnd it, and i dont badmouth people, i speak in favor of people and sometime i use my friends as examples for others to learn but i wl not mention names, even sometimes i talk about myself and tell friends it happened to someone i know so shape ur life and all will be good for u
U want to stop gossiping and u came to a gossip blog 4 advice, where d blogger(SDK) is a chattered gossip and d blogees (we her visitors) are d baddest gossips ever liveth. It is well o SMH 4 u
ReplyDeleteStella u don chop my comment...again! Small time I go stop dey comment. I go dey siddon luk...
ReplyDeleteNO COMMENTS I LOVE GOSSIPING!!! BRING IT ON LETS HEAR OR SEE YOUR DIRTY SECRETS.
ReplyDeleteStella is the last person that can assist you cos she is a serial gossiper
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a girl that went to university of jos " Timi Sambo" bloody gossip and i hear she has not changed even thought she is in Ireland and married with 4 children . Sname
ReplyDeleteYou are a real mums.....you want a solution to your problem and you come meet Stella wey her amebo dey smell......sorry for you your case will become chronic cos Stella gossips for a living......my advice to you is change your friends....
ReplyDeletemy dear, its not your fault. its from the root, d root can never be different from the branches.go n ask some elders in your village. one person is ur lineage is a gossiper
ReplyDeleteStay away from friends look for positive things to do with your time, keep busy, read good books, enjoy your own company join a gym my dear I don't talk to anyone after a while people will forget about you which is better, people only see my from a far, they respect me more now. This is what I did now am super happy with myself When am board I read SKD's blog for a good laff. This will make life less stressful and less dramatic.
ReplyDeletei know d feeling when friends put u in d middle waiting to hear ur part. the thing is just act stupid like"ehhh shes like dt i never knew , but i thougt.., oh mayb it was just a mistake' etc. i never gossip with any friend just my sister.
ReplyDeleteAhh, I don't waste my time chatting to my frenemies, they take joy in twisting your words around and leaving your life a mess, our b&b chats end in hi, long time. That's why Stella's blog is my addiction, I use it as an outlet to satisfy my gos craving. Power to my SDKs pc! Nosey
ReplyDelete