Someone dropped this SOS in one of the posts and i could not ignore it.please whoever you are contact me via my email address stelakuko@hotmail.com
Please read this and do not mind the abbreviations or whatever..this was written by someone in deep pains.
''Its Boxing Day and that Animal I call a husband has shown his boxing skills on my face and body since yester nite that I cant even see with my right eye at the moment,no one to run to no one to call to fight or rescue me,he has been beating since yester nite cus I was angry he did not take my kids out but instead left the house to stay with anoda woman only to come back and wanna play wit my kids and I ask him to leave them alone that he dos not care .
the next thing I see was blows all over my face,beating me and saying if he kills me nobody will ask him, not even my mother cus I hv no family.called my mum to report and all she can say to me is bear thats how marraige is …even my siblings who came for hoiliday had to tell him if it is a woman he is blowing like that.
I am so confused I wanna run away, I wanna leave this marriage buh I have no where to go not even my mum want me to come to her house, what do I do now? I have no job no bizness,i have been a full time house Girl cus have neva felt like a wife.
Sum1 pls help me so I can take care of my 2 beautiful Angels they are just too young 2 and 4yrs old.. dont want to leave them with dis man and run away,I want to take them wit me and takecare of dem am ready to do any tin even as a househelp so I cud takecare of my kids, Somebody pls help me I cud send my pic for u all to see, if Aunty Stella will permit it pls help me,am jst 24yrs old pls I dnt want to be wit dis Devil anymore PLS!!! *CRYING*''
Thanks Stella for bringing this up,I pray she gets the help she needs..............
ReplyDeleteYou are truly the best!.
Eyaaaa I feel sorry for u oh poster..u jst have to get somtin doing,so that u can save up enuf money and leave the monster of a husband..even if its a childminder's Job,or pump attendant Job..u jst need to be able to save up money every month..
DeleteNigeria should really work on women's rights.
DeleteIt's unbecoming that dia men treat their wives like slaves.
Gosh dis r d kinda stuff dat makes me feel like screamin out loud. Gosh na wa o. Daz y 2 a large xtend I don't buy dat gist of early marriage esp wen u r uneducated n hv no trade. Women wake up. Diz is 21st cent 4 crissakes
DeleteThis is sad and painful. When a man start cheating, it has negative impact on his family. May miracle happen in this woman life.
DeleteI saw it too and I felt so bad for her and she iis just 24 with two kids well don't know what to say because I'm nt experience in that aspect at all but no body should come and say she should start praying for a beast o,because beast deserve to be caged
ReplyDeleteUwa nke eh! May God nt allow hv ds kinda husby oh.am so so sry 4 ur pain poster,silver or gold I hv none buh I wil include u n ma prayers henceforth
DeleteTHIS ONE IS REAL BOXING DAY.
ReplyDeleteSTOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE NOW
ReplyDeleteGosh...so sorry Madam, it's not easy.
ReplyDeleteAre you a graduate? Or do u hv some skills? Coz it won't b easy staying on ur own wit no source of income. list ur qualification lets see how we can help
Am crying with you too....why are some men like this?....Poster,do you reside in Lag?..you seriously need a job....Stella biko talk with her and get back to us*sad
ReplyDeleteThat's wats called life and that's wat it has brought upon you. Sorry, take heart and either stay put or leave. No be pesin go tell you.
ReplyDeleteMust u comment.foooool.
DeleteAnon 4.39 must be an idiot!
Deleteanon 4:39 that's a cruel thing to say.
DeleteThis is not life at all. The good thing about us being humans is that we can get out of ugly situations and set things straight but this lady unfortunately is unable to make a move because she is limited by lack of finance and her mum who should be there for her has told her to stay married to such a beast.
Poster i pray you find help.
This is really sad. Just 24 and she is going through this hell in marriage. Pls let's reach out to her.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with u my dear.My suggestion is this...Since u're not working,it may be a bit difficult for u to leave cos of the financial consequences.Try and plan.Start something or get a job.And pls don't exchange words with the animal in ur house cos he'll beat u more.You have to behave like 'mumu' for now till u're able to stand on ur own.
ReplyDeleteThe guy is taking advantage of u cos he knows u're not working.Try n empower urself pls.
I wish u all the best.Stop crying n be strong.We're with u in the spirit.Pele luv.
Don't I just love you, Stella?
ReplyDeleteTo the poster, don't you have sisters/relatives who can assist you? This is cruelty. Heaven knows I'm on your case.
U sure u read d post properly???? If she had she wnt cum hre askin4hlp.
Delete@ poster,I pray u find help soonest.
Imagine the pain?
ReplyDeletePlease contact SDK.
Reading this, I got so weak.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, what's your level of education? You need to get something doing or a job to be self dependent.
Your so called husband has capitalized on your helpless state hence his bullshit and beatings.
Some men though.......smh.
What exactly do you think you can do that can sustain you and your kids? Business? A job? Define that so that help can be reached.
Your mother is a huge dissapointment. Am shocked! Its like she just dumped you at your husband's house good or bad. Am beginning to doubt if she's your real mum.
Na wa. God is in control my dear i also pray u get dat wich u pray 4
ReplyDeleteMy husband is never at home even when the kids are ill. He wasn't home on Xmas day too and I didn't as much as ask questions. Please try to stay away from any form of confrontation and start trying to find your feet. God will help you with a job or business and you'll be a person of your own. Stay strong for yourself and your children. Plan, plan and plan. Get some skills too. God help us.
ReplyDeleteBest Comment eva!
DeleteTo plan, u ve to act the fool and zip ur mouth 'for_a_while'!
Once ur plan is in place, u give him d shocker n move on wt ur kids!
Act the fool... Act the fool so he'll stop d beating and u can plan! Na for a lil while plssss!
Tis well.any time I hear ppls experience abt marriage.i sure get scared.God pls av suffered too much to still come and suffer in marriage.pls I beg.Amen.
ReplyDeleteA voilent man will beat his wife any time, any day, any where. Her family should organise area boys to beat him up.
ReplyDeleteStella, thank you for bringing this up, I notice there are lots of orphanages and women's organisations dealing with domestic violence, Is there no refuge battered women can go to whilst they are helped to live away from abuse
ReplyDeleteI think u shd avoid confrontation with him, try n find something doing ist so as to help ur kids. Running away may not be d answer cos d society is full of evil n u aint sure of the next Micheal Tyson u are going to meet, be strong I pray things works well for u both. Suxces
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to point out the obvious mistakes you made cos I'm sure you know it and There's no need flogging a dead horse, its the same mistake many young girls are still making today
ReplyDeleteThe idea that marriage is a means to an end or the ultimate desire/aspiration is what's driving many women into failed marriages.
People see a successful woman who is single....and they screw up their noses at her like she hasn't achieved anything cos she's still single.
That said....
Madam, the first thing you need is a job. You need to stand on your feet and show this DBag of a husband that you can be a strong independent woman, in my experience, men respect that.
Do you have any qualifications? Pls let's know.
God bless you for this comment. People need to get their priorities right. You can't enter a man's house jobless, its only a matter of time before he reminds you that you are a liability
DeleteLADIES we need to get our priorities right!In this age and time,nobody should be a full house wife,if you aint married to the president.Men tend to lose repect for women that don't WORK.Poster,you rely soley on ur hubby,hence,he automatically feels he owns you,and that you hav no right at all to question him.You need to get somtin doing,no matter how little,asking pple for help here is not enough.It's not easy starting off frm the scratch.So avoid asking ur hubby questions that will earn you blows,concentrate on getting somtin to do.But if you tink you can't cope wit living wit him anymore,move back to your parents',am sure they will accept you and d kids back.But starting from the scratch with the kids alone won't be easy,especially since you are a full house wife.Enuf said.MoPrettie~!
ReplyDeleteMy parents used to be so loving when dey got married But everything changed after 5yrs and ma father became a boxer and womanizer.my mum was so helpless but ahe doesnt believe in divorce, she suffered so many injuries ans now she is hypertensive and everytime I send her money to buy her medication I cry because she doesnt deserve this and dis man is as healthy as u can imagine.if she had left him maybe she might not have been hypertensive.
ReplyDeleteEwoo!! My question to these kind of men is'if somebody offends you outside is that how you beat them?do you fight all your friends or colleagues these way? My dear poster/victim, pls run oh, send Stella ur details/skills so that you can be helped before the beast kills you.. It is well
ReplyDeleteC wet in early marriage de cuss
ReplyDeleteMy dear am so sorry about your present condition. Your priority should be staying strong for your kids which include staying alive . Forget his womanizing and act d mumu. Save up some money even if na 1k u can use to start selling pure water in d area. Its something. (For my kids no job is beneath me not with all d crazy baby daddies ) Am sure an NGO wud see ur story but for now start acting.
ReplyDeleteWhat a pain!
ReplyDeleteSome men are poisonous
Take heart sweetie
The Lord is your strength
Poster, l can't help but cry at the injustice of it all. You need help and you need it now. I've checked online. There are numerous orgs that help abused women in Nigeria. One is Project Alert ; they have branches in Lagos and Abuja. Hopefully, they can help financially and emotionally.
ReplyDeleteStella and my fellow Sdkers , please suggestions are needed to help this sister. No woman deserves this
Eissy Adaobi, did her mum impregnate herself? Is the poster an only child? Where is her dad? Is her mum also an only child? Where are her uncles and aunts? Did she get married legally? Where are those who attended her wedding??
ReplyDelete@genny go ahead and advice her nahhhhhh or better still go knock off the husband's teeth then help her pack her things and relocate her to ur house. Hw many people on ur street hv u eased the burden life has brought upon them. You filthy scum!!!
ReplyDeleteU beta leave oh!!!! I know,,I know,,dats how most igbo men behaves!!!
ReplyDeleteYinkus? Bwhaaaahaaaa
DeleteWho is dis one??? Abeg get ye behind me satan!!!!
DeleteMetamorphosis from Yinkus to Okija wife! How is papa Chiboy?
DeletePa chiboy dey fine,,idiot na only yinkus b okija. Wife abi?????
DeleteSince you know the kind of husband you have, try as much as possible to avoid quarel as much as possible, since u don't have anywhere to go to, no job, and nufin I wonder where u'll run to coz, majority of people here will only pity you, all of them have one thing and the other they're battling with and will probably not help, a million of ur types are everywhere, Stay there and carry your cross or run away to no mans land coz its no easy here in Naija ooooo.
ReplyDeleteIts a lesson to all you ladies, make sure u go to school ( HND at least) before going to marriage!!!
No one knows what the future holds, that caring guy of yours today might be a beast tomorrow ( God forbid )
I know people will insult me, the truth is bitter though
I thought this things happen to women that marry men via juju (voodoo). But if yours is pure, I wish you well. Be patient till you can afford to leave. Now if you leave, your kids will suffer it. Biko can you not sell his house or car?
ReplyDeleteWhich country/state is she in....how old is her husband ...and has she finished school?
ReplyDeleteWhat's really happening in marriages this days? Where did people go wrong? This wasn't God's plan for marriage. Bella x
ReplyDeletePls get some sort of financial independence before u leave that violent husband of yours or else u will regret it. Avoid any confrontations with him and just focus on your children. Above all be prayerful cos we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers. May God give u the grace u need in this trying time.
ReplyDeleteabeg leave ds ''animal'' house bfor him kill you
ReplyDeleteForget about ''it is well''...lord will change him bla bla bla
Abeg leave d house first,,,find somwwhere stay
Na wa oo
@Galore
Dear poster, pls call project alert on any of these numbers - 234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072, dy can help. It is a centre for victims of any form of abuse . Nobody shd go be allowed to go tru such inhumane treatment least of all a 24yr old.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, pls call project alert on any of these numbers - 234-1-8209387; 08052004698; 08180091072, dy can help. It is a centre for victims of any form of abuse . Nobody shd go be allowed to go tru such inhumane treatment least of all a 24yr old.
ReplyDeletePlease avoid confrontations! Get your act together and leave. If u can't
ReplyDeletesigh just got out of a relationship today.We are engaged,done introduction last week and wedding will be May 2014 or would have been May 2014 and he slapped me today and tried to strangle me all because i blocked d TV screen while he was watching some shit football match.I told him i wanted to talk to him about something important.I even said it playfully that Watch me instead u get?Na like that it dey start.Cant let this slide.
ReplyDeleteMothers should please stop this bullshit talk about "thats how marriage is"
i called my mum and she tells me just slap and you wanna stop the wedding,are u under a spell or something.don't you knw you will be 30 next year
They can scream spell jazz or whatever i am out no going back.my dad was beating my mum all through my childhood,i don't want it to continue.He(my dad) couldn't say a word today when i reported the guy as he is guilty too.Sigh
Back to madam's story,see why no lady should agree to be a house wife.anyway what is your qualification?i am sure you went to school.my calculation shows you got married at 19 or 20 years,isnt that too early?
well what state are you?what is your qualification?If you are in Abuja or Ibadan,i will be glad to help.
If walking away is your final answer and you don't go back when he comes begging cos he will,then you have saved yourself from a lifetime of pummeling.I'm from a home of dv and promised myself I won't settle down with a man that even jokingly threatens to hit me.apart from d physical torture,d psychological torture on d kids is a lifetime thing. Don't allow ur mum push u in,I'm married to a perfect gentle man today so u'd definitely get urs...a leopard cnt change its skin even if it wishes to.
DeleteOmolade, I wish I could hug u ryt nw for taking dat bold step even though sum of ur family members might be against it. I love u #nohomo#
DeleteOmolade, u too have ur own issues. I'm a guy and dont subscribe to DVs but u gat some serious issues u need to work on. Why would u block d TV screen and call his favourite programme a shitty football match? Are there no better ways to get his attention? Dis clearly shows u gat no respect and seriously lack manners. Yes, I'm against guys dat hit women 4 any reason at all, but at d same time u need to work on ur attitude. U sound like u deliberately provoke guys into reacting d way they do.
DeleteOga Anon haba.how can u say I lack manners.lemme explain if u didn't understand.O ga o.
DeleteWe do role play me and him.I can decide to do nurse or school girl for him,i was all dressed,I WANTED TO DO.
Lol didn't know what he was watching until d slap sef.I saw he was glued to d tv and I said ignore d tv and watch me instead in a sexy way.
He has never bn a football fan in d 9years I have known him so that's not his favourite program Mr or Mrs solicitor.
He has come to beg and he said he wasn't even watching d match that he doesn't know what came over him.
So use your brain before you comment next time.
I deliberately provoke guys?like you even know me.Smh
For your info,he is the one and only guy I have been with in my whole life.
I Perfectly feel ur pain poster and can relate very well with your story but i must let you know that SUCCESS is the best fom of revenge. You need to find something doing, be occupied so u can get ur mind of your challenges, get a skill, just do something productive.
ReplyDeleteFrom your story you married at 20 and at 24 i srzly think youv been through too much emotional torture not even good for your mental sanity cos the physical stress of taking care of 2 kids is more than enof.
Whatever the case, its never too late. am vryyyyyyyy much interested in empowering you. Everyone has a right to be happy! life is short o.
Without mincing words, i am skilled in beads making, ankara accessories, hats and fascinators. if you are interested i would like to EMPOWER.YOU FOR FREE in any you are interested in and thereafter see to it that you become productive. (training may take up to a month but i would try and make it intensive) my store is in Lagos.
ABOVE ALL, PLEASE SETTLE THIS ON YOUR KNEES. ITS ONLY GOD THAT CAN GIVE YOU JOY AMIDST SUCH STORM. IT IS WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR KIDS IJN.
If thisbseem like what you want or what could help. kindly send a mail to funtradition@yahoo.com
Thnk u very much ma,I am the poster,I tried sending u a mail,but did nt deliver is there any way I can reach out to u?
DeleteI dont wana put my phone number on here. i would send it to stella's mail. contact stella for it
DeleteAll these stories keep scaring me about marriage. God help me and every other person experiencing same...ameeeen.
ReplyDeleteAeegurl
Dear broken woman,ur story touched me. I dnt knw u,but I cld be a friend. I stay in a small apartment. U and ur kids can cme stay wit me. We will manage. But I dunno how u can get across to me. I stay in lagos though. Am s single mum. We can all stay togeda,if u dnt mind.
ReplyDeleteThnk u very much ma,am the victim pls how do I contact u dis is my email, everblazindiamond02@yahoo.com
Delete@everblazing; check your inbox. i just sent my contact details... You' l be fine okay? wipe your tears and rejoice in the Lord!
DeleteMy sympathy goes to you poster.
ReplyDeleteIt is time for action!
Please wipe your tears and lets put our head together and plan.
The truth is that you are not financially capable to look after the children, so you have to stay put for a while.
Get on family planning to avoid any pregnancy so that nothing would disturb your plan.
Then begin to act the dumb and deaf wife.
Be saving some of your housekeeping money no matter how little by cutting down on some expenses.
Whenever you serve his food, spit into it! Yes! I said it, spit into food and drink because he is an animal! This should be a panache for your pains.
Thank you Dolphin A. for your offer. I pray she contacts you...and God bless you indeed!
ReplyDeleteFor the rest of them people, I don't think the woman is asking for an analysis of her life (when she got married and what she didn't do right)
This is sad. Please go on twitter and get in touch with these people @_iamarome @ayodejiosowobi @survivor17. I've watched them help other victims of DV.
ReplyDeleteOmolade, you sound like a nagging fiance. Blocking TV is not the way to get your man's attention. Women provoke men to DV atimes and when it happens they run shouting blue murder. Not condoning DV but the truth has to be said.
ReplyDeleteSo blocking the TV deserves a slap n beating...u are sick. If she was the one watching Tv and he wanted to talk am sure she would switch off immediately and listen. Please Omolade ensure u don't go back to him. Dats how it starts ooooo.
Delete@Dolphin A. God bless you. people rant and rant without offering any kind of solution but you have taken time to show this stranger love. May God locate you in your own time of need.
ReplyDeleteMostyms,d pains pur parents causes for us is greater Dan d problems itself.im goin tru d same divorce issue ryt now nd all evry1 is sayin is wot wud pple say,dey Wudd stat counting men for u!do u knw who else u gonna end up with?i told dem wen I'm ready to av anoda,i wud pik d best cos I'm always positive.den,iv noticed most women in an abusive marriages cnt leav cos dey r nt financialy dependent...women!we shud learn to save,nt for today bt for d future u ddnt knw.as forr me,i don't work bt iv saved enuf to stat litu biz nd get ma self balanced again.im hapi no kids involved yet.nd to tink I was always cryin for nt gettin preg in tym...well,God knws y.ma marriage is only a year six months,bt I'm so dumpin is stupid ass.i told ma family even if dey chase me bak to his house wif cane,i wud only end up disgracing dem cos dey wnt b hapi about d news dey wud b gettin,besyds no 1 shud force me cos m nt a baby.we r stil on d mata bt dis gurls mind is made up...btw,i wud post ma story after d divorce has being concluded
ReplyDeletePls don't post your story because of the high court judges we have here.
DeleteSee the way they are attacking me because of what I posted.