Dear female friends,
(cos I can no longer address you as girl friends) Due to the new law banning same sex relationships, please note that I shall no longer:
1. Address U as dearie, Boo, sweetie, babes, etc. These names may be misconstrued by some over-zealous law enforcement people. Henceforth I shall address you by name *Maureen, Ugochi, Oge, Nkechi, Faith,Stella, etc*
2. I shall no longer hug, blow kisses or hold hands with you. Only handshakes and eyebrow wiggles are allowed. I shall cease sending you smileys like *hearts, hugs, kisses*. Do not send them to me either or I shall delete U from my list to guarantee my continued freedom.
3. Dancing together at parties is now forbidden. If we see in a public place, don't wave excitedly at me. A queen Elizabeth sad wave will do. Anything beyond this, I will ignore you.
4. If you must express your love for me, please add agape at the end. I am writing this cos I love U all AGAPELY and wouldn't want to end up in the women's section at Kirikiri.
5. It's dangerous for us to share bathrooms now. Please wait until am through or bath elsewhere. Girls night out and sleepovers are banned. Please stay in Ur house so we can have our liberty. If U must visit me, please bring your mattress and room dividers.
6. No more lifts. Endure the sun or buy your car. You understand, don't you? Fourteen years imprisonment is a long time and I am not MANDELA.
*Sent in by blog visitor...hehehehehhe una don hear?
Yawns#
ReplyDeleteLmao am not Mandela,we just have to deal with it,it has been signed.
DeleteReal yawn
DeleteIsn't the bill all about gay marriage so what's she all about
Mmm long speech to freedom ««« MON AMI»»»
DeletePush UP try to get more enlightened about the bill before you speak, it is not only about gay marriage but also gay association, which as rightly stated by the poster could be misconstrued.
DeleteHey anon marriage or association, the joke aint still funny
Deleteits funny..if u dnt hav any sense of humor..go hug transformer
DeleteLol! Are u serious sweeti?
ReplyDelete"If u must visit, plz bring ur mattress and room dividers" rotfl!!!!!! Yea rite!!
Deletehehehehehehehehee we hearrrrrrrr, cos in this country anything can happen
ReplyDeleteLol stells. First to comment.
ReplyDeleteshut up child you aint.
DeleteWho are u?
DeleteI had a good laugh reading this. I don't blame her o. I ain't Mandela either.
ReplyDeleteOluyomi Odukoya.
Lol stells. First to comment
ReplyDeleteOk now , shameful thing , may God help us .
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha....Funny piece
ReplyDeleteBeautiful nonsense! Rruuubbiish! Obvious you don't even understand the law!
ReplyDeleteCome Sommie where do u stand on this gay/lele thingy? U seem confused 2 me...cupboard gay!!!
DeleteLmao noted,dont wanna do some jail time either.
ReplyDeleteHa!it isn't dat bad now!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure female gestures will be ignored,cos women need to be soft to each other,it doesn't mean anything!afterall the lesbians know themselves!
We still ssay no to Homosexuality!
Lol...... na so o
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday Stella. Love u agapely
Make I catch myself....Abegii
ReplyDeletehahahhahahahahahhahahahah ,hmmm this is actually true talk ,because nigeria police now will make plenty escape goat
ReplyDelete”Escape” lol ok nah no be inly escape goat na captured goat «««MON AMI»»»
DeleteESCAPE goat ko,Captured cow ni. Abeg,it is SCAPE goat not Escaped goat. SmFH.
DeleteI agree with only 2 points. Dancing together at parties is now forbidden. Yes! Cos it's wrong! Guys will be there but ya'll will choose to b dancing with ur fellow ladies! NUNsense.
ReplyDeleteAnd d second point, we can no longer share bathrooms! Yes! U dunno how much i hate seeing ladies or guys bath together. A very stupid act... Na so d homo thing take dey start even amongst straight people.
The Government should also stop d existence of schools with only one gender, cos that's mainly where all these things emanates from. (I.e Boys schools or Girls schools) it should be mixed...
WE are OUR OWN PROBLEM
#doctorbobby
No sef to snapping pix 2geda o
ReplyDeleteAlrigh sugerplum,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the memo my love
*winks*
Muuuaaaahhhh on ur forehead
Ginger
IF I HEAR!!!
ReplyDeleteLadies this is one advantage we have over guys o, I can peck or kiss(on the lips oo ) my friend in public and people will find it cute,
I can rock my GF on the dance floor and they will find it hot and even cheer us on,
I can share a bathroom with her and nobody will suspect anything,
I can hold and squeeze her hands and nobody will read meaning to it,
I can accidentally or deliberately brush her boobs and it will be taken as a joke,
I can't compliment her Figure and Beauty in public and people will see it as me appreciating nature,
I can talk raw with her and people will say we are just been dirty or naughty,
BUT two guys that attempt even one of what I've mentioned here are so GAY!!!.
When they start arresting seriously that mopol van is going to be filled with just guys that's for sure. The way real lesbians will get punished will be the normal "jungle" justice way and that's if they were foolish enough to get caught!
Somehow somehow I don't know why sha girl on girl is not as "ewwwwwwish" As guy on guy *yuck*
N:B I'm very straight I swear.lol
There are tinz linked easily with a particular sex, just like guz will carry all d whole girls but is the girls dat d will call Ashawo, guz are created to be strong and ladies weak, so doz feminine compliments etc is to boast their ego andd get dem very comfident esp wt dr emotion, but man already creatd wt strong emotions behavn like ladies again, meaning smfin is wrong
DeleteWhat is * guz* chizy? Damn.
DeleteGood sunday laff. Still laffing o.
ReplyDeleteOh!! Hunny u mean all dis? Okay ama jus wait nude for u outside the bathroom till u done *wink*
ReplyDeletemmmm! this is going to be hard oooo!
ReplyDeleteWetin go *hard* o?
DeleteLol
ReplyDeleteI still love all my girlfriends tho
ReplyDeleteVery funny but so true
ReplyDeleteHahhahhahha!!!!!!!!!This One got me laughing so loud!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHehehehe, girls are not smiling.
ReplyDeletehahahahha... hilarious!!! awww.. so i cant hug my bestie again, this is too sad o.... *monalisa yimu*
ReplyDeleteOk.Eve E Ume
ReplyDeleteNice one!very funny piece
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahah.....stella pormade
ReplyDeleteBuhahahaha
ReplyDeleteRatatatatata
Hahahahahaha
Lalalalallalallala
My room mate dey laff here
We dey Hug for roommmmmm .....(number hidden)
Hahahahahha
@Galore
Me kiss my bestie afta a long absence,wetin man go do now?
ReplyDeleteabeg make dem rest for dis gay matter joor afterall bfor GEJ pass d law non of dem dey agree say dem b gay Bfor so make dem rest joor.
ReplyDeleteShut up bitch.
ReplyDeleteHehehehehehehehehe..Noted :)
ReplyDelete@galore oloshi,,where were u when all ur mates were going to sch??awwsh!! Guess u were busy doing akunna work as ur normal calabar way of life abi?? Hahaahahahahaah!!!
ReplyDelete...........OKIJA WIFE
@galore oloshi,,where were u when all ur mates were going to sch??awwsh!! Guess u were busy doing akunna work as ur normal calabar way of life abi?? Hahaahahahahaah!!!
ReplyDelete...........OKIJA WIFE
@galore oloshi,,where were u when all ur mates were going to sch??awwsh!! Guess u were busy doing akunna work as ur normal calabar way of life abi?? Hahaahahahahaah!!!
ReplyDelete...........OKIJA WIFE
Dey dear dey talk noncense.Galore ewu jamaica by the time them go send u to kirikiri ur lesbian eye go clear.every body just dey talk against gay but if america and uk come talk say them dey issue free visa to anyone way be gay den all of una way dey make noise go come turn gay over nite even the line up for us and uk embassy go long well well.hipocrites
ReplyDeleteTerrible English *wincing painfully*
Delete@Doctorbobby i agree wit u 100%! Remain loyal SIR.
ReplyDelete#ablicious#
Some don't even want to understand the law,all they do is to open their mouth and any rubish coming out of it is permisible to them.Get knowledge get understandind.If you like don't even talk to your female friends again including every female in your family.OLODO.
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahaha, LWSMB,hahahahahahaha
ReplyDelete