.....Things are going well between you and your lover,all the lights are green and everything has been checked and balanced but he still has not proposed and the relationship is dragging on from months into years.
Would you take the bull by the horn and propose to him?Do you think it is wrong even if he will accept the proposal?
Please don't come here and tell me what the Bible says about a man finding a good thing.......he found you already and that is why you both are dating abeg...the problem is
that he doesn't have the liver to take the bold step into marriage but he wants to marry you...right?...I am asking because if you are in a relationship that you do not know where it is headed then you are fooling yourself and that is the truth!
Would you take the bold step and propose or continue counting the years?Miss goody-two-shoes?
Note that some Ladies even go all out to ask men out...as in they 'toast' them for relationships and some work out...if you can toast,surely you can propose abi?
Men,if she proposes to you,what would be your reaction?you are in love with her right?..or are you just leading her on and searching for your miss right?.
This is an interactive discuss,please dont come here to prove the i-too-know-syndrome cos aint no way we can prove if what you are saying is true so be real!
Yes, I can and will if my boyfriend does not propose soon :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is serious matter oo.
Delete1. I'm too shy to lose and maybe too conservative to ask.
2. What if he says no?
3. After saying yes now, in the future if we have a misunderstanding, he might turn around and say "I never wanted to marry u but u made me do it"
So NO, if he wants it, let him put a ring on it. And if he keeps wasting time, its gonna be his loss.
Bia Stella, its not a man finding a good thing, don't turn bible upside down. Its a man finding a wife has found a good thing.
DeleteAnd for ur info, this same bible u re asking us to 'throwey' is our life guide.
Abeg what if he says no
DeleteMy biliv is any man that hasnt proposed to you even while being comftable probably has his reasons and may even say No if you propose
A comftable man that hasn't proposed doesn't want you as his wife simple
Point of correction. She is not asking you to throw away ur bible. All she is saying is that deep down, if you will propose regardless of what the bible says in your case?? Without forming the sanctimonous babe and waiting to be the oldest girlfriend before he takes the bull by the horn. Kapish!! Not difficult to understand.
DeleteA woman who will go as far as proposing to a man is none other but.......Despe....despe...desperado!!!!
DeleteNo need proposing, just give him hints every now and then. Marriage magazine in the car, show him engagement rings, and everything wedding related. If that doesn't sink in, then we need to have that talk. Oga, I ain't getting any younger and I was hoping this relationship will lead to marriage, any reason why? If no reason, give him deadline according to oga Steve Harvey and see if there'll be result or not.
DeleteI so much like ur comment.
DeleteFirst of all, I can't even propose to my man. I don't see myself doing that. Rather I will ask him/ I have asked him"where is our relationship heading" so I know how to position myself. But propose to him? Mba!!
ReplyDeleteAsking him where the rship is heading is like indirectly asking to propose
DeleteAnon 1.07pm. Asking or forcing his hand to propose is one thing and actually proposing ur self is another.
DeleteI wouldn't do it even if my life depended on it. I hate getting a no so I usually don't ask. So no, I won't propose.
By asking him you have already proposed to him. Not that it matters but just to point out that you already did it without knowing. You are just waiting for the day he will come back home with a ring. *winks*
DeleteMy dear you re so wrong! Quote me anywhere. Everything boils down on the type of guy you re dating if he is Matured or not. Do you continue dating him not bothered asking what are his plans? Then after wasting your 20/30's with him, he tells you he's doesn't feels like, afterall there was no committment in his part . My dear there's a diiff b/w asking "where the rship is heading " and " she proposing to her him"
DeleteSo I as a beauriful' young lady,will enter wuse market go buy engagement ring give man?huh?blood of God!dats an abomination against my culture and religion!
DeleteLadiess pls don't try dat sh*t,any man dat cannot propose isn't worth it and cannot protect u.
I see nothing wrong, if a man truly loves his woman, I see nothing stopping him from accepting her proposal.
ReplyDeleteHell no...In d first place,I sincerely don't believe every good r/ship will end in marriage so I don't even see myself fantasizing about marriage to avoid "ObiMgbowa" talk more of proposing_Hiiiiiiiiaaaannn! Mba oh!
ReplyDeleteI'd rather it goes the Oldfashioned way,let d dude do d proposing cos trust me doing dat makes a lady look so desperate n correct me if am wrong,in most cases d dude is just gonna take d lady for granted. *dropsmic*
That is why it is advised that you date mature minded guys
DeleteAnd mature minded guys WILL propose instead of dragging their feet.
DeleteIf I hear...dis only works for oyinbo o, you propose 2 naija man u don hear wien....he will see you as a desperado and treat u like one
ReplyDeleteYour absolutely right phelee, try it, and you will never have a say again in that relationship.
DeletePhelee,u r so right! I can't imagine myself proposing to a man. That's definitely the height of desperation!
DeleteNo b only propose, msheww. There are better ways of doing things sef, no b by force to propose. Both parties would discuss their plans for the future, take steps about em ( see each others parents and all) and bang! Dem go pick date after all. But if the guy doesn't show interest wen u ask bout his plans, abby, dump his ass str8up.
ReplyDeleteYou re absolutely right....
DeleteIts an aberration of nature sha, but now as women dey find husband , suprise ur man today, time nor dey
ReplyDeleteHOT NAIJA GIST....
I really don't c it as wrong bt personally I tink it's inappropriate. Dia cud b several reasons y as a man, I did not propose....maybe it's cos am not ready 4 marriage or am waiting 4 significant opportunity or something. Av a woman propose 2 me will make me feel uncomfortable. If she tinks am not crious abt marriage n wan 2 find out if I am, she can ask certain question dat will lead her 2 wat she needs 2 know BT proposing?...... No way!....By d way if she proposes, hu wears d ring?
ReplyDeleteYaron Allah
I concour my brother, you have said it all.
Deletelol @ By d way if she proposes, hu wears d ring? Nice one!
DeleteI photocopy....sorry I print....pardon me, I copy n paste your comment. Makes plenty sense@ yaron
DeleteAm not as bold as area fada's wife to try this oh
ReplyDeleteStella you have hit the nail right on the head. I would never have believed it if not that it is happening to me right now. l am an eligible bachelor and five very beautiful ladies are toasting me without knowing each other, I don't know which one of them I should say yes to. But my friends have constituted an emergency advisory committee to investigate all the said ladies and advise me accordingly.I gave them my specifications as their terms of reference.
ReplyDeleteIfa hear... U be Paddy? Taaa
DeleteHmmmm you must be hot!...
DeleteHope you are enjoying all the attention....
May you get the right person..Goodluck!
U still dey do yanga now abi....u bette pick now, 2mao now, una go come dey bug us with dirty question " I am metusela age mate am dating a 2yr old girl, shld I continue" mstchw
DeleteBros how many range rover dey ur garage, u Don crase? Monkey
Deletejust pretend to be blind and see reactions
DeleteLoool @la katie. What is this guy feeling like? Guy bone that thing joor no be today centre part begin dey yansh...
DeleteLol Phelee u dey crase O
DeleteAh ah. 4 y kwan? Mbano I won't. If everythinq has been checked n balanced he will propose. Him not proposin means there is still sth hanqinq. So its a cap NO!
ReplyDeleteWhen it come's to that i am old fashioned, it just dosen't feel right to me.
ReplyDeleteRuth and esther are the only women dat have books in the bible n dey wooed their men...so,there's nothing wrong with it
ReplyDeleteKpom kwem
DeleteNo vex o Bros Bitchplis....Ruth didn't woo oh!!! She no talk 'kpakam' to Boaz.she just strategically positioned her self for the guy threshing floor, more like a 'hey -im -here,im-available kinda thingy. Esther didn't too bro...She was selected from a list of young maidens and was prepared for the King to choose from....
DeleteU go fear bible story tellers naaa.....
Delete@ Aku spot on you said it all...
DeleteBitchplis just rewrote his own version of the bible. New bitchplis version (NBV) May the good Lord have mercy on you. Spend more time reading the holy book and less time on SDK. One love.
Deletebut for me is not right for a woman to propose to a man .
ReplyDeleteI can't date a lily livered guy who wud not take d bold step n propose @ d right time. I like guys who r bold n confident but if by any chance he's taking too long to propose, I wnt do his work f him, I will kindly work out of such r\ship.
ReplyDeleteIf na sabi girl and she bow down to my dick like she want to pray 4 it and suck it and say baby, will u marry me? Sure I will. Mr john.
ReplyDeleteIt seems you miss road. This is stella's blog oo and not badoo.
DeleteGod I beg thee, I don't want to be in a situation where I'd be thinking of proposing to my boo. I have fantasized too much of how lovely my boo's proposal will be...and my marriage alike. Holy Trinity biko. Maybe I'm old school, I dunno.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaahahaah @holy trinity biko
DeleteAbeg me I no fit propose to any man. Except na Dangote sha. Ehen Stella I just messed in my office now and I know say my colleagues go know say na me mess but at the same time dem go dey confused because fine girl no dey mess abi? Anyway please help me ask Dr Nnenna why I dey mess for hot afternoon like this. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteLmaooooo
DeleteNa wah o...Dr Nnena don suffer o
DeleteIts normal to mess o fine girl for office, u should only be asking Dr Nnenna this question if u don't mess at all. Summer, winter, raining season, harmattan, morning, afternoon nd night. My sister mess na mess so keep messing but don't forget to smile along ok, na d smile go decieve d boys cuz na una type d mess dey smell crazy. Wait o, na silent mess? That one go bad o...
DeleteLOOOL. I just imagine how your colleagues go just take look you if you come be the type way sabi form I hope e no smell? Lol. Anyway It seems your stomach is dirty. Drink lots of water first followed by de-worming
DeleteLolzz,what if dem dey read this post and see your comment #Gobe lolzz
DeleteChineke #shocked!!! Mba kwa aunty oooooo.. Will never and heaven will bear witness to that.. Choi!!! Gat my ego to protect biko kwa.....this is 9ja and things should be left to be done the right way please no matter what....... I_ChoPtas_Not
ReplyDeleteAbeg na fight?
ReplyDeleteLMAO!
DeleteI will propose to a non Nigerian man anytime anyday. The Reason why I can't propose to a Nigeria man is because, most Nigerian men are too full of themselves....
ReplyDeleteExactly! Especially if na correct oyibo
DeleteLa kite,bia.....is your office/school on strike?
DeleteDis one that u r all over replying this post.
pls go and hawk pure water,its too sunny for this nonsense jare.
The way of the proposal is to get pregnant and for some it works for some it doesn't work. it forces the man to marry but with the pregnancy the women have already asked using it as cover.
ReplyDeleteSo true, hahahahaha
DeleteTrue one babe just hooked my friend with pregnancy and believe me the guy is extremely happy, he has moved out of his dad posh house and rent not too good 3 bed aprtmt. Pregnancy works ooo
DeleteNothing wrong with it...but can never do that in Nija.....becos nigerian man mentality is not built enough to accept the fact.,,they take advantage of it.
ReplyDeleteThey propose all the time, they always like "are you going to marry me or you haven't decided yet n the answer is always the same = Only time will tell.
ReplyDeleteI and my guy have been dating for over 2 year's now and he never for once talk about marriage we love each other like hell and we are doing very well in our relationship, there was a day I ask him if he was dating me for dating sake or for marriage and he den reply for marriage and excitedly I ask him will u marry me he's reply was yes! But he den say only on one condition das if I will stay with him (living together) for one year so we can understand each other b4 marriage den I said yes. I later ask him wat if if I did pop up d question den he said he was afraid cos am always against living with a man without doing d right thing first dat he don't know how to convince me into it and it has been disturbing him. We jst did our introduction 2months back and our wedding coming up by April though we weren't there during our intro jst to spend less but we will b in naija together for our traditional wedding. So stella I can say I was d one dat propose to my man though he was d one who bought d ring after I ask d question.
ReplyDeleteMake una no mind my English na jss3 I drop out.
Choi, apologies accepted. But babe, u really took a bold scary step o
DeleteChai! Maybe I should try this o. Thinking of this sef is scary. Hmmmmm
DeleteWe no mind my sister as long as the story ended well. Congratulations dearie. But living together with a man for a month or weeks not to talk of a whole doesn't go down well with me. I know people who did it but it only ruined their relationships. So it doesn't work for everyone, thank God it did for u. All d best on your trad marriage. Enjoy every min of it...
DeleteDifferent kind of Naija guy. Seriously...my male colleagues think its strange. One actually cringed. your man is different girl...Happy Wedlock in Advance
DeleteSis I rejoice with you... Your man is matured.
DeleteBabe, you know sey ground never level... Will you be ready to pay for the engagement arrangement and leave only the bride price for me - provided not bi Akwa Ibom/Ibo babe!
ReplyDelete"She should be ready to pay for the engagement arrangement". Guy are you for real? See the mouth/hand you used in saying it self. Can't you cut your coat according to the availability of your material? Must you try to belong? You dnt want akwaibom babe. No babe will tolorate this from you. Na your type dey go thief to impress woman. Guy I feel for you.
DeleteI don't believe in long relationship, if within 2 years the guy can't make up his mind he wants to marry the babe, he should just bounce. If you can ask him out, then you can ask him to marry you. But some guys are sick o, he will just say give me time to think about it. Ladies don't allow any man to waste your precious time....if he didn't ask you within 2 years, ask him and he says no or waiting a bit......then look elsewhere, not every lady will be in luck like Toke o.
ReplyDeletePls don't force him to do sha!!!
A few months into my relationship I took the bull by the horns and asked my boo where we were headed. I told him I wanted to know for sure what he had in mind for us, whether marriage was on the cards, as I did not want to waste my time. He was taken aback at first and felt I had preempted him, but it did the trick. A few months later, he proposed formally. I would never go as far as to propose to a man. I feel it's unnatural. My opinion.
ReplyDeleteI feel that in a relationship, things should be clearly spelt out, so that each party is on the same page. Not the 419 being perpetrated these days where it's either the man is into you just for the sex and giving you false hopes, or the girl is in it just for material things and the other party is living in cloud-cuckoo land with a false expectation of marriage which may never materialize. My 2 kobo.
My dear You did the right thing by asking him. Who knows probly he would hv been playing around assuming you dnt care about the rship. Congratulations.....
DeleteThanks princess :-)
DeleteGurl you probably read act like a lady think like a guy. Congratulations
DeleteMy dear in my opinion there is nothing wrong with it. Women do have feelings too and they are at liberty to propose and dispose as men donut considering our culture and native rules they see it as something that shouldn't be done or look at the girl as a wayward follow.another thing is the level of our maturity in Nigeria, so what is wrong about you proposing to boyfriend, But girls u can do it
ReplyDeleteAunty stellz d way u dey shout e b like say n u propose to mr Korkus #lol, na joke I dey joke ooo# personally I don't think a lady should go all out and propose. What if he says no? D shame and embarrassment na die. She should rather look closely for signs. If he paints pictures of his future and she aint in it, or he doesn't talk about marriage anytime soon to her, nd he isn't dropping hints of any kind.. She should take a loooooooooong walk. Cos niqqa is a bloody time waster... Its harrrdd and painful. But d earlier it is done d better for her. @ least we hear that guys always know what they want right??? No need sticking with an indecisive fellow
ReplyDeleteAm in the same boat, been dating my honey bun for 2 years now everything is great we are at that stage were there's nothing else to do but take the plunge. He talks about marriage , estimates,about kids and how many, when and relocating but still I haven't gotten the ring. We are both financially stable so am wondering why I haven't gotten the ring yet. By October we would be 3yrs.When ever he brings up the conversation now in my head am like "Oh just shut up and ask me already". I don't think. I could be the one to ask though,
ReplyDeleteWhen he talks about marriage, kids and you know he's referring to you, I.e you re in the picture,i suggest you just be patient and calm b4 october, he might do something. But if he says all that and deep down your heart you know he's not referring to you, probably he's having this imagination to himself alone, then I suggest you ask him if you re in that picture with him. So you know where you stand.
DeleteStella ders no biggie abt it, once d babe is comfortable wit it y not. But d truth is dt our society looks down on such and sees d lady as desperado. As for me, I can't do it, d fear of rejection won't allow me plz.
ReplyDeletei don't see anything wrong in taking the bull by the horn as a girl, but only if you are convinced that you both are headed in the same direction in all aspects
ReplyDeleteStella you shouldn't be asking this na....80% of nigerian men will take a lady for granted if she asks him out sef then proposal?mba nu.....he'll just do crazy things and get away with it bcos he has beeen Proposed to..I can't propose to a man abeg....maybe with foreigners but not in naija abeg
ReplyDeleteKeep waiting for man to propose to u lonely girl.
DeleteI can't say it's right or wrong! My only question is who gets to wear the ring?
ReplyDeleteBtw if a woman proposes to me and i know i love her sincerely, i'd romantically collect the ring, seductively wear it on her finger, and let her know it's alright. And it would be that psychologically i engaged her and not the other way round. *sighs* my 2 kobo tho'...
#doctorbobby
Doctorbobby is a correct bobor....#take kiss.....Mmuaaah
DeleteAs for proposing to ur man,i think it depends on the level of communication and friendship u have wit ur partner. i for one proposed to my man,did it playfully though. Him and i are play alot.in one of those our joking and teasing sessions,i went down on my knees took one of my costume rings,held his hands and said "baby look into my eyes"will u marry me?
While gigling and laffing he said sure i will baby, kissed me. Then i mimicked a reverend "name of the father etc while putting d ring on his finger....lol. 2weeks later he got a ring and put it on mine. we're officially engaged. D wedding bells go soon blast!!!!!
I can't propose to my man. I wont feel comfortable knowing I did d proposing. There is this satisfaction that comes from knowing your indeed needed in someone's life.
ReplyDeleteNa lie oh, no woman go fit propose to me. I ran from those that tried, don't blame me sha. I be correct bush man!
ReplyDeleteI no fit propose to a man abeg. I remember when i met my hubby i was 25 nd he was 23. The age difference no gree me date am . My aunt whom i was living with then talked sense into my head, reminded me of how London boys have lied to me several times nd now a young fresh blood wants me, his family adores me nd i dey do shakara. Mehnnnn sharply i gree for am o, we dated for 6months, he proposed on my birthday nd we got married months after. Who would have told me i will meet my man that year nd get married that same year. God is good. I don't even feel d age difference sef cuz i have a small stature nd a cute baby face, though he has a baby face tooooo na serious competition. Can't wait to see how our cuties will look like....
ReplyDeleteMadam Kemie you took a bold step o! As long as u r happy that is all that matters but you should not have put your age or your husbands age in this write up o, abi you have forgotten that people that read Stella's Blog have memories dat no they forget things?
DeleteTake the case of Linda Eze's tales on mouth Odour and mamie's that stays in London and America @ the same time, people still remind them always..
Pls easy on the info @times so that they wont use it against you later since you are part of the family here.
#Justmy2centopinion
Thanks dear Anon,will always remember that. Age is nothing nd anyone who wants to remind me in future will only remind me of how i took a bold step to be with my man. Not a bother at all. Thanks all d same, I appreciate u.
DeleteSo if d lady do d proposing, who wears the ring? FYI, not all naija Men pop the "will you marry me" question, they just go ahead and say my people want to come meet your people, dats all. Wedding plan don begin b dat
ReplyDeletehahahahahaha stella na,e never reach so.Girls never find husband reach so,but sincerely if only this is possible men for don scarce.
ReplyDelete