GISTS Cafe - MONDAY

GIST ONETHE ACTRESS WHO CANNOT ENTER LONDON BECAUSE......

Well gist is a controversial Nollywood actresses has her skeletons spilling out of her closet because she moved up a step higher in the ladder
*Oh rock of ages,why would anyone wanna open her cupboard?*
Well the gist is that sometime back,the actress gisted some people she trusted that she cannot enter London because of a particular fraud perpetrated in her name....The story long and i am not in the mood to start bla-bla-bla-ing.
If you still insist on chasing this gist further,forget it and leave this dark skinned pretty actress alone...

Errr,what is the Yoruba word for vayjayjay again sef?



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GIST TWO NIGERIAN MEN KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HYGIENE?SAYS WHO?

''Ahh Dear Stella, I am calling out the men, yes men,men,men…….. Stella I am ‘Hangry’ Nigerian men know little or nothing about hygiene, Please hygiene is not about putting on designer labeled shirts, wearing expensive perfumes, or having a clean haircut with nice carvings. Nigerian men are the first to complain, Nigerian girls are not adventurous in bed, 'Oyinbo' girls would go all out with you etc..

They are the first to open their mouths 'gbaga' ready to french kiss, but would not brush their tongues well, I swear I have an extra sensitive sense of smell no matter how faint it is I will perceive it. Stella a lot of people read your blog please beg the men for us, I know I am speaking a lot of minds here, Men please brush your mouths very well, take the tooth brush up to the roof of your mouth, gaggle on Listerine, or use lemon water to gaggle every fortnight, peroxide is also good to gaggle on every once in a while, if you want French kisses with no holds barred from your Nigerian sisters please your oral hygiene is very important, 'na person born us abeg'.

Stella do you know that most Nigerian men have never been to the dentist before? They think scaling and polishing is the name of a strip club, you would be shocked at the amount of calculus and plaque on some brother’s teeth and you want person pickin to French kiss you fa? You are a wicked somebody.  It’s not all about the mouth o, most Nigerian guys do not scrub their bodies well, it’s not about rubbing soap on your belly, wash and scrub the back of your ears, scrub your necks down.   Why is it OK for guys to leave a bushy armpit?  Is it a fashion statement or a male ego thing?  I don’t get this.

Another bone of contention for me is oral sex and sex in general, You know Stella I used to hear girls say stuffs like “he used and dumped me” I never understood that statement before, maybe cos I stayed abroad for too long or because I was getting it good at that time, sex to me is a mutual consented act between two adults, I am like if both of you enjoyed it, why then say you were used?  Stella now I know better, Most Nigerian men know nothing about giving a woman pleasure, all they are interested in is poking their manhood into you and once they cum they do not give a fuck about you. 

I have not been with a lot of them, but the few ones I have met never made me cum, I did a research and I discovered that most women do not cum, even though most of them lie and pretend so as not to hurt the ego of the men, but I say it if a lot more of us speak out maybe they would take more time and interest in our own pleasures. 

I would also feel used if all through our relationship you have been the only one climaxing during sex to leave me high and dry, only for me to fall back on to my ever faithful vib?' Walahi' that is being used in every sense of that word.

Is it oral sex? The last Nigerian dude that gave me head has left me scarred and traumatized for life…. Now I run from head like it’s a curse, I just kept picturing my cut of clits as a headliner on your blog, using teeth to give head? Who the fuck does that? If its not teeth they will just soak you up with saliva all in the name of giving head,  Them brothers want good head but don't keep clean privates, you do not wash your balls, sambisa forest have nothing on the hair you grow down below.................... Abeg lemme stop here for now, would send you the remaining of my grievances later.

 P.S .. Ladies, if he is not hitting it right please tell him, if he doesn't make you cum tell him, if you do not know how to say it, when next he doesn't perform,  just politely say to him baby please pass me my vibrator from the drawer beside you. That should pass the message across.


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GIST 3
FIRST WIFE-SECOND WIFE......THIRD WIFE?..ALL NA MOVIE!

Solo Am- am-am -am am stammering.... is a Nollywood movie producer who is married to two women with a waka pass actress who might end up his third wife if care is not taken..lol

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 Waka pass actress Nicole is now the one holding Solo's belt and who now tells him who he should give movie roles to. 

According to Asaba based gist merchants..

'' Solo has lots of girls that he can cast for jobs but that Nicole blocks it, he keeps using her yet she cannot even act. Many times Solos second wife has gone to look for Nicole at locations to fight her while his first wife by name Ngozi who is also a movie costumier keeps calm....abi wetin make she do?'' 

Marketers have also threatened to stop giving him jobs if he continues casting Ms Nicole but Michael Bolton already said that when a man loves a woman he no dey hear word!
When a man loves a woman,she can do no wrong,he go put him leg inside fire just to make her smile....he go empty his account just to fill her wardrope and stop to talk to everybody to satisfy her.....or isnt this how Mr Bolton sang it?
Solo well done oh..only you three women? DIA RIZ AIDS OOOOH.

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GIST FOUR
NOLLYWOOD FEMALE PRODUCER NANCY DUMPED BY WAKA PASS ACTOR BOYFRIEND

Nollywood most popular Eastern based female producer/costumier Uche Nancy was recently dumped by her actor producer manager boyfriend of 10 years....so sad!
The story is that he impregnated a Calabar rich babe and decided to end it with Nancy. The actor boyfriend that dumped her for a Calabar big girl name is Chinedu.....

Anyway Chinedu is an Eastern based Nollywood waka pass actor who always plays bad boy roles .he dumped Ms Nancy and quickly RECENTLY relocated to Yankee.
Anyways Uche Nancy please don't mind Chinedu oh,face your work and your daughters and you will be fine you hear?Love is not by force so let him go,he think say America easy?This pic will be the portion of anybody who dumps anyone for someone else because of a better financial status .....in Jesus name!

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AIDS IS REAL...INSIST ON A CONDOM
EBOLA IS REAL...IGNORANCE ON HOW IT IS SPREAD KILLS FASTER.

Some of you are buying antibacterial hand spray instead of anti virus hand spray abi?okay please forget any hand spray whatsoever and wash your hands with clean water and you will be fine.
Read up google on how the virus is spread and stop embarrassing people who complain of malarial and typhoid symptoms...while you are at it,play safe or forget sex.
The two are now some inter related ooooooh.

See yo Next Monday!

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