We read the CHEATING ALERT that she sent in HERE yesterday and we all went Ballistic wondering why she would announce it before doing it.
She read all the responses and has decided to send in the full gist..'Rolls eyes Amebo-ishly*
''I saw the blog post. God bless BlogLord and Omoge Manchester for their comments...... God bless their hearts and grant them more wisdom. I may just take Galore's advice and cheat with a lady.....
I am 28, earn about 500k a month while hubby earns about 150k (not like this is the main crux but somehow it is). Though I knew this before marriage and we had a long distance relationship of 3 years before we eventually settled down and I moved down to Naija to be with him. I immediately got a job. I had known him years back while in grad school.... we were just friends.
I realised I married a lazy man. He's comfortable not doing anything financially most times and will only do when he is forced to or when he wants to show off. (He likes friends and family to know his wife is rich, a classy career/business woman who can cook ( I cook extremely well. Everyone knows that) I can add other details but I know alot of family members who visit this blog and may find me out.
Sex is crappy Stella. Who uses teeth to go down on a woman???? It takes me a long time to come and he isn't patient enough to get there. Its Boop boop boop wamppp and he rolls over and goes to bed. Stella he is 31!!!
I get raped constantly by him. He actually tells me he enjoys sex when he knows its forceful.
I married a child..... When he comes in from work its video game, he demands for food, eats while playing the games and screams and goes to bed at 6am Wakes up at 9 to go to work and back to the game. If I complain he tells me I cannot come between his games and him and if I don't like it I can go hug a transformer!
He tells me I should better accept it and act as a mother to him because I will one day be a mother. (What the....????)
No I wasn't forced and in as much as it was long distance I made sure I spent at-least a month with him for each year we dated. I never ever saw the signs and believe me he hid them really well. When a man wants to hide he sure knows how to hide.
To make matters worse his family started threatening me recently, saying since he got married to me he hasn't sent in money. Believe me, he doesn't give me a dime either! I pay all the bills in that house and I don't complain. I shop for his wardrobe, fuel his car n all. I don't complain. If my parents knew this they would freak out.
I cant really say much cos some people might decode me (I have family members who breath your blog). I am pretty, with a good heart. Never cheated while dating and never did "runs". I wasn't a virgin when I got married but I refused to have sex before I married him.
I live and breath my work currently but it isn't easy. Am a full blooded woman whom has needs and currently those (sexual) needs are not being met. I haven't seen or am not seeing any man who wants to make me cheat (by the way BVs can donate a dildo so I can console myself with it. Lol.).
Thank you for posting the earlier mail I sent... I won't cheat but am already emotionally dead....
Can the lady who wants to give out her child send in her details to you so I can help in anyway I can....
Regards,
Sex-Starved BlogVisitor
she is being pushed to cheat but she doesn't want to hence she is making it public so that people can talk her out of it.
if she was a baddo who really has the intention to cheat, trust me she won't send in a mail rather she'd jump on a hard joystick and rock it harder than hard.
Now, madam tell us! what the hell did the nigga of a husband do to you that warranted the attempt of cheating?
oya soro!
Ds z serious,may God help us.
ReplyDeletetake heart my dear. Marriage is for better for worse. The best part of your story is where you stated you earn 500'k a month. Please where is the company's name and address. We would love to come and submit our CV's
DeleteNa wa oh. Nne I don't blame you for wanting to cheat. What kind of man is that? And his family too. I don't even know what to say sef
DeleteYou married a lazy child.
DeleteSerzly, how can one detect these well hidden bad habits of the people u r in a relationship with?
Anty Stella, can u dedicate a post to this issue cos I know there are alotta experienced people on this blog that would share their views and hereby enlighten us.
Cheating is neva the answer. Tell him to grow up cos even kids grow up, if possible threaten him ( divorce). Everyone has a limit.
DeletePls don't let him led you to sin, God Hates adultery.
Don't listen to anyone else. Leave now, divorce him and get a responsible man. You are still young. This is what my mum had to deal with and she is living with it now for the rest of her life. In all of it, my dad still stressed her life out believing he is doing her a big favour. She paid our bills and school fees and has always struggled, he on the other hand did nothing for her or us and expects that we worship him. I see my parents in your story. You don't have any kids yet, take a big walk away.
DeleteMy first thought is how long has this baby sitting been going on and is it too late to withdraw all and make him a responsible adult?..
DeleteHow old are you dear poster?
Most times its good to marry someone that is a least 5yrs older.
Try to find that which makes u happy,go out often with friends and come home happy,cook and invite friends.
Try to watch porn movie together,if drinking alcohol before sex will help him last longer,give him loads of it.
When I mean porn I mean those erratic ones that is filled with squirting black girls
www.xnxx.com/blackgirlssquirting
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
After the hot sex,then talk about those things you don't like
Come and thank me later!
Goodluck
That your lasy ass hubby need to grow up and stop looking for a wife who will play the roles of a mama to him. Sit his ass down and talk to him to stop acting like a boy and man up,but pls do not cheat.
DeleteSuccessful career women often run into such challenges with the opposite sex.Ive had my fair share, even though I don't earn as much as you do.
DeleteAlot of our young men (and women) are 'users'.
RE Inlaws:
I have an aunt who's in laws were saying that she's the reason their son doesn't send money and that was a horrible lie. The man couldn't afford to send much during that period. The hatred for her grew so much and they attacked her verbally and spiritually; and she almost left the marriage. Their other grouse was that he didn't marry from his home town but married a lagosian. (sick people).
RE Cheating:
I wouldn't advice you to cheat (male or female) because it quenches your physical pain but your emotional pain will still be there and that's what can run one nuts. Please take some time off from the marriage; live apart for sometime and see how you feel afterwards.
When your marriage/relationship isn't healthy it WILL affect your work. I've been there...crying at work without even knowing tears were streaming down my face. You will need to grow some thick skin my darling. Im focusing on you because at this point you need to be selfish.
Im not married yet because I'm still somewhat skeptical about the institution.
Best wishes!
May God help u poster.
DeleteNot saying her story is on BN oh bt wen I read all dis Bellanaija wedding 'how we met' story I no dey tap into anytin.
Na packaging everybd dey do for dis life. Na God get the complete key to a good marriage. Dazzz all!
*sigh*
ReplyDeleteYou have pampered him too much already. I don't even know what to say. But I hope you do not make a bad decision over this.
Be blessed.
Well said......
DeleteDivorce him.
DeleteMy opinion too. You are spoiling him too much. Slowly start leaving some bills for him to handle. Remember to save your money before the kids start coming. Develop a thick skin and hard heart but pls don't cheat. Marriages are like that initially. Nigerian men are lousy husbands.
DeleteI cnt even do half of dis 4 any man o. Mbok starve him of all dese. Discipline him dear. U hold d key to make it work dear
DeleteHmmmm,may God direct u.
ReplyDeleteWoman,you messed up your home from the beginning.. It doesn't matter what you earn,you don't bear all the responsibilities in your home.. You never do that.. You pick up only the little bills and never the major stuffs so that it seems you contribute. But you do not to about fueling his car everyday or picking up the bills he's suppose to be doing... That way,you turn him to an overgrown baby,a lazy ass and an annoying being. Because he would feel he doesn't need to do anything since you are capable...
DeleteAs for the sex,try and talk to him about it.. Do a lot of foreplay,gradually ease him into it so he doesn't feel bad and become a 10sec man. Don't make him feel like he's not doing fine,just make him know that you booth can do more.. Read Kamasutra,watch porn with him,discover your selves again since long distance didn't help you both...
In all,do not cheat okay!
chaii....that video game part got me.... ahn ahn... eating while playing? so u guys dont eat together i guess.... to say i am disappointed is an understatement..... what kinda a man says go nd hug transformers? what kinda a man enjoys forceful sex when he can easily talk to u about it? madam u don enter am oooo .... all these boys forming men all over..... scary sumtin! madam do not cheat ooo..dont lose ur sanity over a man abeg.... ask urseld if he is worth it cos u will feel worse after cheating... d kinda man u just painted is d type i dont want my enemies to meet in this life tym
ReplyDelete@xclusiv
chaii....that video game part got me.... ahn ahn... eating while playing? so u guys dont eat together i guess.... to say i am disappointed is an understatement..... what kinda a man says go nd hug transformers? what kinda a man enjoys forceful sex when he can easily talk to u about it? madam u don enter am oooo .... all these boys forming men all over..... scary sumtin! madam do not cheat ooo..dont lose ur sanity over a man abeg.... ask urseld if he is worth it cos u will feel worse after cheating... d kinda man u just painted is d type i dont want my enemies to meet in this life tym
ReplyDelete@xclusiv
You don't know the true colour of a man when he has nothing .sit him down and bring him back to reality ,if you can't ,look for a friend or family friend he respects to speak word of wisdom into his head .lazybroke ass men they can pretend for Africa ,I hate them with every breath I take ,you already married to him ,just sit him down and tell him you have needs ,emotional and sexually needs that must be met by him ,since you don't ask him got money or upkeeps ,this are your needs .,and it is his duty as a husband to do the needful. Still on team M fucking mate day 12 Gbam Gbam
ReplyDeleteMet this guy ,tall handsome and rich every woman's dream ,first time you met him, Your heart skipped ,and you say to yourself this must be a playboy and after several dates he ask you to marry him ,he never asked for sex just to proof to you his for real and not a play a boy like you felt .he proposed and you were the happiest woman on earth ,tall handsome and rich .you had the best wedding ,your dream wedding ,you still could not believe your really married to a guy that almost every woman wants,and he took you on honey moon in the Bahamas ,time to perform matrimonial. Obligation your man begins to cry ,the next thing he said. ............,.................I won't finish the story until some,one ask me to. Abeg drinking my sweet coffee
ReplyDeleteAbeg finish the story. I am begging!
DeleteBack to the poster: You married a gold-digger. I can smell them from 100,000Km away! Divorce him period. Never marry a man you are richer than.
Ah! Finish it na. U too do shakara sef!
DeleteAbeg finish the story booty booty!
DeletePlease finish abeg
Deletekeep ur story na, shior. We been beg u for story? No be u come dey nack us tory? Keep am jare, d one wey we don read on this blog is enough to last us a lifetime.
DeletePleaseeeeee finish the story naa.lol
DeleteIt's either u threaten him with a divorce to straighten his mind becus it seems in his mind dah,: he don marry u,e don marry u dah u shud tolerate living with him.....I know it's a sensitive matter buh there's only one way outta dis ur family and his family has to get involved In this, cus the misunderstanding is already there to warrant dah...if after dis ,he doesn't change ,I go volunteer to be ur experimental husband b4 u find another one thanks.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, if all you've said is true, y don't you just leave. I know a lot of people will say 'it's easier said than done', but won't u actually be better off without him?
ReplyDeleteWon't it be easier for you to actually dissolve the marriage and start all over again?
Cheating isn't the solution here obviously, as you seem to have other issues at play.
Click my name for all your celebration cakes and cupcakes, cheers
My thoughts exactly.
DeleteU start cheating, then what???....Just Leave
ReplyDeleteI don't mind paying my own bills but I won't pay yours.
ReplyDeleteA man is the head of the house and he should act like one.
A man shouldn't act like an ass**** and expect to be treated like a head.
Sit your husband down and talk to him if he refuses to change, get separated for a while.
How I love women!. Everyman needs to understand that women are quite delicate.
ReplyDeleteI think what's wrong is ur hubby's inability to realize that those gooddy old days of being wild and free are over.
Aint yet married but people should realize that a relationship should strive towards making ur partner happy and it's always a two way traffic.
As for the blog visitor,
I'll offer the Angel's Advice and the Devil's Advise together. Its a free world u can choose either. (Wide grin)
I can just imagine the pent up sexual energy u ve got inside waiting to unleash like a volcano; probably u need a man that u can rip his clothes off even b4 the main act...lol
Angel's...
In as much as u seem to be sexually incompatible with ur husband...why not guide him? Teach him without hurting his ego. Sex is like an art and though some peeps are blessed with it naturally...others need to progressively learn and master it as a relationship evolves naturally.
Character wise ur hubby seems a mess but u can't change him; that's the sad truth.
All u can do for him is to love him despite his flaws...who knows? He might turn around!
Devil's...
*Lol stella won't post I guess* hehhehe
Lord Rothschild.
The man rapes his wife! He's a rapist! He doesn't need her guidance, he enjoys raping her. He needs to see a shrink, that's all.
DeleteAwwwww...To think with all said, the day she cheats and gets caught, people will call her names including bringing bad luck to her husband.women have suffered. Pls do not cheat cos it's filthy to be a cheating wife.Talk senses into his head. He's acting like baby and you should treat him as such.imagine finding joy in rape! Odiegwu abi it's oriegwu
ReplyDeleteDildo o, man o, woman o, cheat is cheat. Cheating in a relationship is so wrong not to talk of marriage and I repeat you have no reason to cheat on him. Apparently you have made a wrong choice which I know its still redeemable. Its either you stay and work things out with him or you walk out and make peace with yourself and your God.
ReplyDeleteI can only imagine.u can start by stopping all u r doing for hm except ur duty as a wife.when u imediately cut out frm spoiling hm, he wl wake up to hs responsibilities
ReplyDeleteU dnt nid to cheat on hm wt evn a lady.get urself a dildo nd let hm know d extent of ur pain.dats if u still want to stay in d marriage.u can only start cheating if u v made up ur mind to leave d union soon.cos d way ur hubby talks back wen u complain, he s d type that learns d hard way.
My dear poster,
ReplyDeleteAny family member that visits this blog would have decoded you from the first paragraph of your post. Unless you changed your details o. I may be wrong.
Ihekire Tony
ReplyDeleteI don't knw what to say, but I will definitely tell you something. Cheating is not an option, either with a man or a woman.
Long distant rships has it's +ves and -ves. If you can't tolerate him anymore why not get a divorce and move on. That way you won't fell guilty for wanting to get satisfaction elsewhere. Getting married these days is a piece of cake, the real deal is staying married. I pray God gives you the wisdom you need to sort this issue out.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was younger I never knew one could cheat outside marriage, then I got mixed up with some bunch of married women though I was single. My dear, I never uttered a word against them again. Most married women go through hell, if you see a couple together in a car laughing, I bet you they re not married. I usually identified them if you see the man trying to look too serious driving and the woman looking out of the window. Every woman deserves care and attention then see her give you the best marriage can offer ....Ije
ReplyDeleteIt's been only 3 months dear, and unless you shock him into reality as to take responsibility as a full grown man, he won't! ! Plan; threaten him by packing up and leaving or if it's your house, send him away and see what his reactions are, then take it from there. When the kids start coming, this guy will find them a competition for your affection and care and it can only get worse! Na wah.. Some people just create unnecessary wahala for their home! Hia
ReplyDeleteS.ockendon
See your mouth like send him out!
DeleteNdi advice abia
Nwunye Okeke
It's way 2 early for u 2 start thinking of cheating oh, cos fact is d sex isn't the only problem you ave in this marriage so getting it outside won't make your marriage beta. Besides if you start it, for how long do u intend to keep doing it?
ReplyDeleteI haven't had good sex in the 4yrs that I've been married, n yea I've been tempted 2 cheat but it's not d life I wanna live.
Keep praying for him n talking to him, but whatever you do try not 2 cheat.
Hummmm speechless. ..
ReplyDeleteAnd? I am the ITK that you always try to call out. Holla back girl. Men need to be pampered. Alright!
ReplyDeleteNa train u dey train person so o!
ReplyDeletePoint is cheating is wrong and I'll only coddle a child. I'm married and no marriage is perfect. Now you have told us your story do you expect us to encourage you to cheat? You can never justify the act. It's not as if you can send your husband to"school of heads" while cheating and he'll get better at it. Lifes a bitch, you either allow it to fuck you up or you walk away. You can work at the marriage or you walk away. Last advice to married ladies, never live above your husbands earnings. Anything that has to be done in the house should be within his budget. You can spend on the kids on yourself and get him the occasional gift. But you should make up his deficits when you can. How won't he see you as a mother when you act like one? Which one is fueling a grown mans car? The signs would have been there before the union. Tell us how many times he offered to come over to visit when you were abroad?or paid for your ticket? Well this is my opinion tho.
ReplyDeleteWell said esp living above husband's earnings!! I'm taking notes
DeleteGbamest
Delete1000 likes!!
DeleteQuit acting like his Mummy and act like a Wife. Demand from him both emotionally and materially.
Sit him and talk to him like an adult and most importantly PRAY!!!
Nwunye Okeke
Spot on Ada.
DeleteI have nothing more to add.
All the best poster.
My dear just divorce his ass. He 'll neva change. Problably if he does, it'll be wen he's in his 50's. So dat means u av some 20somtin miserable yrs to stay wit his miserable ass. My advice is tell your parents so dat wen u tink walking d divorce line, dey won't blame u.
ReplyDeleteHmm...story...how u start with a man reali matas...
ReplyDeleteStory teller,its not too late...put ur foot down n say no to rubbish.. Ur marriage is stil young...it can b bent..u dnt ve to cheat.. Tell ur husband dat u cant pay d bills anymore..tell him to do his part in d haus...as for d sex,am not a sex expert,but dont starve him of sex.. Hav u tired talkin to him...?
Dis ur hubby needs deliverance with koboko all over his body
ReplyDeleteHi honey,am so sorry....u have a good hrt something tells me that....but how long will u go on feeling this way....trust me your chances of holding on for long are slim....u will always be sad.....pls pray 4 endurance,patient...don't give up...am sure God will change your story for good someday...may
ReplyDeleteBabe, I think you need to have a sit down with this child you married. You should pour all your grievances against him out and then ask him if he is tired of making the marriage work. He needs to be asked. Wake him at about 2am and say you need to talk (timing is important). Do not sound scared or weak when u ask him this, sound like a tough woman who is about to make a very hard decision. He should be made to comprehend the fact that you are not willing to put up with his BS anymore.
ReplyDeleteThat's how she will introduce DV in her home. This kind of man is the type that beats a woman.
DeleteSome men are just shameless. I can't deal abeg!
ReplyDeleteHe's a child right? There's your answer. Treat him like a child. Reinforce the good behaviours and punish him for the bad ones. He wants you to be a mother, then be a mother to him. Mothers can be tough ( at least, mine was/ is.) Since you do everything for him, he can't leave you. Maybe you formed independent woman before you married him and ended up spoiling him. If you are the man in the relationship, then act like it as well. Tell him he shape up or ship out. You can't be feeding him in your own house and have him act like 1 week old beans.
ReplyDeleteWoman, stop feeding him and clothing him with your money. If the landlord likes let him throw out your belongings after the rent expires, if oga likes let him trek to work and wear rag.
It's not bad to do things for a man, but that man must be hard working.
Gbamestically
DeleteI just hate when inlaws think that the wife is the reason their sin does not send them money.. gosh!!! They don't really know what goes on in their son's home. They don't know how much he earns or who foots the bills.
ReplyDeleteOh and get a vibrator, lay back, fantasize about anything that gets u freaky and c u m away!!! Do not cheat.
ReplyDeleteFor how long? She go tire
Delete"Who uses teeth to go down on a
ReplyDeletewoman????"
My husband does.
Who uses d finger to pound yam inside d punani
My husband does
I once said it here dt my hub can eat ur clit like pomo sotay d clit go rise like ballon.
Is he an igbo man cos na them get ds fault.
Sorry dear poster,marriage is for better for worse and pls dnt contemplate cheating. I v neva come since my four yrs in marriage now but dt wnt make me to cheat.
Kwakwakwakwakwakwakwa at using hand to pound the pussy...
DeleteFyi,real Igbo men don't joke with their homes..infact,their family first..
An Igbo man will buy a car for his wife and children while he trekks...
Most Igbo men don't like their wives to work..they would rather work their ass out to provide for the family than pushing their wives to suffer...
Most of them don't believe in eating off women..infact,its a shameful act to his personality...
They stay and make their marriage work no matter what...
They marry their baby mamas...they. don't believe in having them here and there to prove they have arrived...
The best man to marry in Nigeria is an Igbo man from Anambra..
BLOOD OF GOD!!! U have never come since four years??????
DeleteHow do u cope? Oh God, u guyz just keep getting me scared of marriage everyday.
Madam go and buy a dildo so u can cum, Y punish urself like this? Sex should be enjoyed not endured
DeleteHaaahhhhhaaaaaaahhhhhhhaaaaaa!!! Unu ga egbu madu here ooo! Choi, umu nwoke afugo ife..@ using finger to pound yam and eating ur clit lyk pomo.lol
DeleteOdikwa egwu ife ana afu na marriage dese days.
Nwunye Okeke
Madam, u over pamapered him o.....he earns #150k monthly and u pay his bill,feed him and shop for him?......u are the man in the house na.leave the bills for him. He shld have some responsibilities. He expects u to babysit him gan! .....ha! Chukwu aju! Please, inform ur own family first of what is happening....since ur "baby's" people have started complaining, so that whatever happens, u will have people by your side. You can also send some money to his people monthly and let them know its from you......that their sion does nothing at all....yeah, be nice and sweet to his people so u can turn the tables in ur favour.Pls, don't cheat. Sit his sorry ass down and tell him how sexually starved you are ....infact, rape him the way he rapes you so that he wld know how it feels.....lolz.. Most importantly, pls pray for ur marriage....pray by yourself, no be prayer contractor kind of prayer o. It is well.
ReplyDeleteKpom kwem
DeleteI'm the most liberal and non-judgemental person there is out there but these tales are just....smh!
ReplyDeleteIt's almost like you've made up your mind to cheat and you're fishing out things you can use to justify yourself somehow. Things that will make you sleep well at night and things that you will tell the blog people that will make them say "wtf! Cheat on this man! Dang!"
Look, Mrs: What exactly motivated you to marry this man? From your narrative, it isn't money. It isn't that you're ugly and needy or that he's a paragon of virtues. Because somehow, his selfish attitude MUST have seeped in through out your long distance dealings with him. During those 3years, you must have seen how one sided it was financially 4 u.(you were prolly the one sending him stuff from abroad), 4 or 5 times, you must have slammed the phone in anger at his uncouth talk, arrogance, pettiness and obnoxious attitude. Yet you choose him.Maybe you couldn't stand wasting 1 year, then it became 2, then 3 years. I really can't tell.
I'm chiding you, not because I'm perfect but because we must all take responsibility for our actions. Someone needs 2 open you eyes to the apparent blame that is your legacy in this failed relationship. The first step to solving a problem is admitting there is one. And the safest way of solving it is solving the problems that emanate from you first. Admit in your heart that it was all your fault and that you threw caution to the wind and agreed to an exuberant man with a perverted sexual orientation and a petty/vacuous fellow.
2)I, Bonaparte, though female rarely comments on relationship issues. It's just not my modus operandi, I enjoy reading from others but I bother to talk because iv examined your post and found you to be educated, decent and with a progressive mentality. Whatever emotion this man is eliciting in you is a minor set back and as a human you are, when pushed to the wall, you will look for other escape routes. It doesn't make you a bad person. What your mind envisions now is how can u live like this forever? Even if im not having the sexual urges now, what of tomorrow?
Because of this relevant person I see you to be who listens, I wouldn't want you to do things that will give you a permanent set back. CHEATING won't solve it. Cheat cos ure turned on not 2 counter act esp now you've not said he is even cheating.
1)after cheating, when you get home. You still meet the same pig you married. In other words, your nightmare is still waiting for you. (that a disease is an epidemic doesn't make it any less a disease, so wrote John Pepper Clark).
2)this country is full of bad guys.
-u'll still meet the same gold digging men you're running from.
-the men here are not discreet
-they believe women are tools.(even the man digging u and you're paying 2 do so still believes he is superior 2 u just because he has a penis. They are chauvinists.
-diseases here are at its highest ebb. The men here don't go for check up. Many people are carrying around herpes, gono, syphilis and HIV and u might still get raped by this new boyfriend of urs.
-even the chiefs that will give you money and be discreet, these men are mostly men of the occult who feed on the eggs of women which is converted to blood to feed their demons(im not supersticious by default but iv seen things with my own eyes)
The chances of meeting decent men are slim and the risks are many. Few decent men who care about their futures will bang someone's wife knowingly.
Your options are few.
**Bonaparte NN**
Intelligence here
Delete@Bonaparte NN, so what is your advice after all this Grammer?? Okachamara dey worry you.
DeleteNwunye Okeke
Stella actually didn't post the other part. Couldn't fully state it here cos of space.
DeleteMy advice to her is:
DONT CHEAT: be resilient.
He is an egomaniac and people like that are easy to handle. He acts like a sadomasocist right now. He feels during sex that his 150k is raping ur 500k. It is only in sex that he feels powerful because you have taken all d major roles and probably superior to him in all aspects. Don't worry, try to change that mindset of his. While ure at it, you could watch porn with him and make him see how real guys do it. This may spur him to decide 2 prove a point to u. People like this, you jus need to fan their ego.
Be in control of your relationship but act like he is in control. That's the easiest way. The thing with egomaniacs is they don't even know when they are being controlled.
I understand how ure feeling and applaud you as a good person. Right now,youre on a panic attack, tryin 2 ask ureself if this is how your life will be forever. Ure a bright star and may become very influential in this country even. Do not allow this man dull your star. Don't allow this pawn get in your way and make you self-destruct.
If you can't follow my advice, try to follow others. Keep trying. Don't think of cheating or divorce yet.its the simplistic way out and you're not a simpleton. Life is one on going experiment. Thanks
**Bonaparte NN*
Ur comments nack sense into my head.
DeleteHmmmmm! It is well.
ReplyDeleteDats ya biz ness.."you say he is just 31? Fear not he will grow.buy him S.M.A gold,cerelac and caprisone.am sure in the next 5 mths if he actively feeds on this things his senses will be functional like a normal 2 years old boy that he really is.besides go for size 5 hugees diapers......better still make sure his potty is readily available..abeg waka..am currently ovulatin,I need to get preggo my sons are crying to carry a baby girl........me sef go cheeeeeeat as husband don waka go face his bizness in another town!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI had to lol, ur comment funny die!
DeleteLwkmd! U are u crazy @anony 8:51. SMA gold ke? Cerelac and caprison? That hot me cracking. Hmmm, some women sha! Smh
DeleteGot me cracking
DeleteMy dear you forgot to add feeding bottles
DeleteKaiiii,you married a child indeed....plays games till 6am? WTF!!! Maybe you have to report to his family &yours, a meeting should be held for him(since he's a child treat him like 1)...It's well
ReplyDeleteWow! Still not a reason to cheat. If you are nt happy, I'd advice you to leave. Pls dont cheat. Its nt d solution. Oh well! What a lazy man..in all aspect.
ReplyDeleteMy friend said she's nt gonna marry a man if they've nt dated for atleast 3 years. I told her the dating/courting duration doesn't mean he can't hide things from you. If you like date for 10years.
Pele sweety....I can't understand since I'm nt in ur shoes neither am I married.. it's well.
So u can bring my uncle story here abi??????
ReplyDeleteYour uncle na gold-digger. You too, gold-digging runs in your blood. If your uncle was a good man, will she bring his story here?
DeleteFuck off from here!
Sharrap!!!
DeleteThen tell your uncle to grow up or get lost, mtcheew!
DeleteYour uncle is an asswipe
DeleteU uncle is a crazy child in an man's body. Since u know his character advice him to grow up or his wife will kick his sorry ass out of her house.
DeleteI don't support cheating but this your "boy" who has refused to grow up needs to be taught a hard lesson- Start by withdrawing all the privileges you are extending to him like fuelling his car and all sorts. He's obviously a lazy, spoilt brat
ReplyDeleteDon't suffer in silence! Let him realise he needs to up his bed game or else he'll lose you to another man simple!
Hmmmmmmmm.... Dis is serious...
ReplyDeleteNo matter how silly a man is,it does not give any woman the right cheat abeg.one thing ladies should know is that if u cheat, u are degrading destroying yourself not the man.people like looking for excuses to do stupid things.
ReplyDeleteYour problems are more serious than the sex matter.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are the type that listens to constructive criticism, seeing that you singled out comments made in your favour.
I have a friend like you that was protecting her useless ex-husband, letting his family believe he spent all his money on her. On the contrary she was responsible for all the house bills including flight tickets, car fuelling, airtime etc.
I wonder why women do this rubbish. If you say you are no longer interested in cheating and want to save your marriage. You have to start rebuilding from scratch. Your marriage's foundation is extremely shaky. You are living with a spoilt brat who married you for money, not a husband.
You know how husbands should behave in the home, start demanding such. No matter how little he earns, he should contribute something to the upkeep every month. Stop shouldering all the responsibilities. It never works when one party is not pulling his weight. He cannot improve on the sex if he's willing. Right now, it sounds like he can't be bothered. He has little respect for you to even broach the matter of violent sex.
Let him also tell you what he expects from you because this sounds so one-sided.
I cannot advice you to cheat on your man. You were played my dear, people might say you didnt stick around enough to findout on time about his bad sides, but the truth is that you see only the ones he want you to. Allow me to blame you on the money part. I tell my fellow ladies that we really have to be careful the kind of shits we take. Maybe your husband have known you as mother Theresa, if you later change, it becomes a problem. What I am saying is that you started what you cant finish. How can you pay the bills in the house and takecare of his wadrope? So what does he do with his own money? You have been doing that even before he marrried you so he is used to it. If you cant cope, quietly leave, I dont believe in do or die marriage. He doesnt satisfy you sexual, morally or even financially, so what are you supposed to hold on to. You are obviously in that marriage alone. Dont be surprise if he has a mistress he showers with love and gifts. My advice to ladies, dont start what you cannot finish in the name of patience. Always allow him do his responsibily as the man even when you are dating. Those little things that you feel doesnot matter will matter some day.
ReplyDeleteShe de marry herself o
DeleteSeriouslly you are paying bills! Buying his clothes! Fueling the his car my sis YOU are not helping him too! Let him take up his responsibly and man up!(:the fact that YOU earn more does give him right Not to leave up to His responsibly, and please sit him down and talk to him in a respectful and loving way make him release his short comings and cry for a change! Sure he will change! If that does not change *anything report him to his daddy,sis don't cheat and keep been a good wife to him also prayers change everything
ReplyDeleteYou entered one chance. Please divorce him. That's not how marriage should be! If you decide to stay, know that not much is going to change. It might even get worse when kids are involved and he knows he "has got" you. You're young and the world is just opening up for you, don't stifle yourself with resentment. Whatever the case may be, cheating on him is cheating on yourself, cos it ensures perpetual bondage by not letting you face reality. I imagine the guilt and shame alone could also be devastating.
ReplyDeleteIt's my first time commenting, because I see you really need help. Talk to him first, before making a major decision. Hope it works out that you end up happy.
3's Mama. :)
The only problem here is your sex-life. That's why sex before marriage is now ideal. This is the 21st century for crying out loud.
ReplyDeleteSpoilt husband you got there. First things first, make him grow up and start being responsible for his needs like fuel and clothing.
ReplyDeleteAs for the sex my dear forget it oooo after all you said it yourself that the dude is lazy! Satisfying you is a big big chore to him . Sorry dear.
U earn 500k a month in Nigeria? Really? And u are 28? Chai chai! Poster u can lie for Africa!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteO pls shut up... I hv friends in d same age range dat earn similar salary plus other benefits sef. How poor do you think we are in Nigeria
DeleteSee this one. Be dulling yourself. The poster is so right. Younger people are even earning more
DeleteShut ur trap foolish fool. It's very possible.
DeleteBut it is true...lol! I'm a 27year old female and I earn about 450 every month,to God's glory.
DeleteHMm ! Not married yet ! Buh I dnt knw wats wrong wif men of dz 21st century ....we re not jxt getting it wen it cumz to marriage and relationship.....woman u dey try sha ..tz good u dont cheat ...jxt pray and continue to ignore hz excesses
ReplyDeleteOh dear! Lousy man.
ReplyDeleteTaste before buying,they won't hear...
ReplyDeleteOriegwu!!..
Poster,thank God you know your husband is a child and am sure he is sexy too..
Like Galore said,if you want to cheat,cheat with a girl...that way,no body will suspect you...lesbo sex is the ish mehnnn...
Choi choi choi...
Na you sabi. If you have free ticket to hell fire. Stop dishing it out to odas. Blog Agbaya
DeleteLinda seek the face of God please. A Lot of young mind are on this blog, you might not be serious with this your lesbian stuff but some people are gullible and might indulge in such.
DeletePlease dear1, minimise or stop encouraging the act entirely. After life comes judgement. Remember each and everyone of us must give account of our words, actions and thoughts. Love you in Christ!
Nwunye Okeke
There is a thin line between being his wife and his mother. U had better straighten out issues with ur man. Bark,bite, do watever u have to do to be heard. U can teach him how to make love to u. Wen his down on u,talk.boo ur using ur teeth it hurts,use ur tongue, lick it up' down,on the clits boo. Ppl complicate things for themselves. Ppl his ur life partner. Their should be friendship in ur marriage. Cus when ur friends u can talk about anything.
ReplyDeletePoster I feel you! I can relate your story to my sis in law's hubby who is neither a graduate nor has a handwork but if you see the way he carries himself when he wears his suits on Sunday to church you will think he is pastor Chris Oyakhilomen. Very lazy thing all hubby and his family do is to pray and protect his sister by taking care of the idiot through the wife so she doesn't lack. Main while just because she wants to marry she lied about his background.
ReplyDeleteOh dear! Lousy man.
ReplyDeleteall this kinda stories just scare single girls.what re marriages dis days sef????? are there still good marriages bcos all around me i see pple living in hell all in the name of marriage.. poster ur husband is a BIG BABY, itz still early get rid of him bfore a child is involved cos this ur "baby in man frame" might neva change
ReplyDeleteTell us you are booless and we will understand and yes,there are thousands of good marriages out there...
DeleteMine is one....
queen nd boss linda..itz good to know urs is good......
DeleteThats d norm dese days.Men ar now wat women used 2b.Lazy n dependant.Very soon we'll start payin groom prcie.Ladies be wise.Woman if u cnt take it anymor,divorce him now dat no child is involved yet cos u ar givin 2 much in2 d marriage n gettin nuffin..
ReplyDeleteseat his fucking ass down and speak your mind to him! If he doesn't change, LEAVE! I'm sure he's not ready to leave a woman earning such money, nways...All the best babes.
ReplyDeleteIssorait....dont cheat sha, just divorce d punk. that's one hell of a punk brat, WTF....
ReplyDeleteThank God you changed your mind
ReplyDeleteSo what you gonna do when the thought comes back?
Im 31 in October, I make about N1 million a month.
ReplyDeleteI'm single but soon to be married....
Wont mind fucking ur brains out...
sex is my own video game
but tbh, you knew you were marrying a man who was financially incompatible with you....
I spend 150k in a week, ur husbands monthly salary
i think ur a typical foreign trained girl that likes high street shopping and the rest, i guess he doesnt turn u on because hes broke
Na lie! Fuck off!
DeleteGtfoh
DeleteDear anonymous, becos u earn 1m a month u want to fuck another man's wife? Are insane? U need to borrow a brain. Am a young man like u, run a successful bizness I make more than a million a week. Thoes that give me the audacity to fuck your wife when u get married? U earn just 12m in year n u think u can put a man like u down? I don't get u! So since when earning 12m a year makes u a rich man in Nigeria?
DeleteShut that gutter u call a mouth. Arrogant bastard. U asked u stories u're telling us. Mumu. I think u're more a boy child than her husband is. Ode HOESHI!
DeleteWow! Wow!!! This is serious..... some men *sigh* Some mothers sure have them. Bloglord and Omoge Manchester, una *doh*. Thanks for understanding this poster and not putting her head on the chopping block. Dear poster, you will be fine trust me..... and above all trust God.....*E-hugs*
ReplyDeleteKourt
Babes, marriage isn't by force o. Like seriously, how can u carry d responsibility of d man of d house when u have a hubby. Omo I can't deal o, aren't u guys suppose to share d it? Men like that irritate d hell out of me, and upon that he comes home, demands for food he didn't buy and rapes u.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, some women dey try sha, all in d name of I wanna stay married. U just wait, d worst is yet to come, that ur child husband isn't going to change for d better but for d worse.
How can a husband tell his wife that if she doesn't like d way he is she should go hug transformer? My sister, d Lord is ur strength!
Bonnygal!
Testing testing.
ReplyDeleteHian! I hope his basis for getting married to you isn't because of your money. Personally, I am not team "my husband/boyfriend knows how much I earn."
ReplyDeleteYou must have shown him you were capable of shouldering all the responsibilities while dating. You both need to sit down and have a talk about responsibilities. 150k might not be a lot but it can take care of many things.
Concerning your sex life, its not enough for you to just lay back and expect him to be a stallion on you. What measures have you taken to spice up your relationship?
Hmmm lips sealed!
ReplyDeleteSo sad,have you tried discussing with him,what about counselling with a good marriage counsellor,maybe your pastor's wife? You have a good soul,you don't really want to do it so please don't do it. Lesbianism is a soul-tie that is not easily broken so please do not dabble into it. Your marriage is quite young,give it and your hubby time. Try initiating sex yourself sometimes,show him,tell him how you want it. To other single Bvs,the marriage counselling you refuse to go before marriage,you will go by force after marriage,some of these counsellors can see and decode in your mate what you are too blind to see because of love or lust. So look well well before you say l do. Court,spend time together with family and friends,sometimes intentionally provoke your mate,everybody have a dark side they try to hide. You can't get perfection anywhere. Poster,sit that man's ass down and talk to him,he is your husbabnd not your boss,let him know his responsibilities as a husband and head of the family. You are giving him too much liberties,he will never grow up. Stop ignoring his foolish,childish behaviour. do you pray @all or study God's word? Marriage is work sha,if you are not ready and willing to put extra time,you have no business going in. So many emotional things you have to put up with.
ReplyDeleteif you need counselling,l can connect you with a wonderful woman of God to talk to
Can't give you her details here.will be through Stella.
***Healing-rain***
Oh! it's a pity!
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm is all I cn say. This institution called marriage... it is well
ReplyDeleteI tink u shuld sit him down over dat tasty meal of yours and have a heart to heart with him. Most issues are worked on wen dey are discussed (not quarrelled over). Results might not be instant,but persistence yields result. When we kip issues in us,dey mostly accumulate and boil over,resulting in negative actions. So talk it over with him. NOTE: video games are Somtimes mor addictive dan alcohol,so take my advice,get a technician wen he is not around to bridge a wire,if it gets faulty,dat will cool him off for a while dats ur chance for a discussion. Pls technician shuld not jus go and remove fuse,cos wen he goes to fix it,which he will,he might be told,and dat culd cos and issue (bridge wires).i hope u work tins out.....cos u seem to blieve in the sanctity of marriage.have a blissful home
ReplyDeleteStop fuelling his car and pls stop all those expenses u are doing on his head, u are spoiling him and u have 2 stop now before he starts 2 abuse u physically.
ReplyDeleteMumi zara
U're so rite, so soon and very soon d physical abuses will start
DeleteTnk God for giving me a wonderful hubby. Stop taking care of all the bills in your home. Allow him contribute since he's also working. A woman shouldn't be the bread winner! Talk to him abt the love making and insist he changes the style, trust me, he will cos when a man really loves his wife, he goes extra mile to satisfy her in bed. It is well with you.
ReplyDeletehmmm,this guy is good for nothing..sex is crap,he has no money,childish,no prospects which responsible man plays games from 9-6am,my dear you shouldn't just be thinking about cheating,think about your future with this guy..if ur already frustrated in 3months what will be ur situation in 1year..apparently he is comfortable with u being the bread winner..men are usually challenged with that and it forces them to work harder..this one is a hungry user....
ReplyDeleteI'm speechless..Pls do whatever dat will make u happy in that marriage..I cant judge u..Marriage is meant to be enjoyed...if u think u cant walk away,condone his excesses and follow ur heart.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I don't even know where to start. You need to stop paying some bills, he his supposed to pay, stop fuelling his car and other ones that he is suppose to do, that would sure make him sit up and for the sex, you can talk to him about it buy porn movies, watch together so he learns some skills. practice would sure make him perfect. Above all pleas done cheat, try and mould him to a man you want, its a gradually process, take now to be the learning time
ReplyDeletehmmm...men..I was in a long distance relationship, the guy was crazy about me, i decided to stay with him for some time so we get to know each other better ( there was no sex throughout this period). we stayed together for about 6months..I discovered some things and dirty habits he had, and i tried to correct him. he's the only guy av done such things for in a rshp. Dirtiness is a turn off for me in a guy, but i tried to make him improve his personal hygiene. The hair in his pubis region is more than a forest, i helped him groom it.. he wears one boxers for about 4-5days,i went to the market n shopped for more for him so he culd be changing evryday, i didnt mind doin d washing. he baths without soap n sponge, maybe after so much talk he will manage to use soap, bigger quarel then he will add sponge.. so much dirty habits indoors that even my younger brothers cannot evn do. if u'r not talking video game or football, u have to repeat urself like 10times b4 he listens attentively.. he had so many childish behaviours which i tried to help him change but noooo way.. I left the place, came back n i discovered dat all i did was in vain..back to square one, alongside many other issues, but i'm jst trying to make a point. i broke up wt him to his suprise n no going back.. i was usually angry n sad wenever we are alone cos of d tins he does... my people, u can't know evrytn frm a long distance rshp. try to make out time to know each other more before marriage.. Madam, i understand ur situation but try to handle it well. For u to successfully change a man, he also has to be willing for the change.. stop pampering him , let him rise to his responsibilities as a man.. u can get a dildo to satisfy ur urge.. my hand no dey d lady cheating tin o...lol
ReplyDeleteU saw forest in his public region n u say u didn't have sex? O di egwu
DeleteCondescending Husband!
ReplyDeleteHe cant give head!
He's marriaged to his video games!
He's Lazy!
He's stingy!
Sex with him is like worldwar2!
And u don't even CUM! Wtf??
you didnt see the signs when u were dating bcos u didn't want to!
Plz u r still young and ur sex life is ALIVE. Get a dildo. If is not enough, than cheat. If u looking @ cheating with a girl, just be sure u know what u doing. Cos the journey is a one way ticket. U could be stuck.
PS. LOVE YOU MORE ADADIURANMA!
#Hot Ice.
"He's marriaged to his video games" gbaguan!!!
DeleteBut cheating is not n will never solve this problem. fucking a woman will put you in the bad books of God. I will just advise you pray to God to give your hubby a listen ear. So that any time you talk to him he listens and change. Plus pls try to ve a baby most men change once a baby comes in, cos they want to be a role model to their baby. I will put u in my prayer. Please don't cheat on him with either man or woman please so that God will be with you.
ReplyDeleteFucking a woman, fucking a man, lying, stealing, killing. All na sin, there is no small or big sin. Sin is sin
DeleteDear poster the first couple of years in a marriage is the most challenging in my opinion. The reason being dating someone (whether long distance or not) is different from being married to the person. Once you are married and start living with each other that is when you see each other for what you really are since you would be in each other's space all the time there is no room to hide certain behaviour that you may have been able to hide before marriage. Also you r two people coming from two different backgrounds coming together to form a new unit surely there are bound to be differences in opinions and all. During these trying times cheating is not the solution but plenty of constant communication of your needs, likes and dislikes. Learning mutual respect. You both also need to be patient with each other's short coming and be prepared to compromise on things. This way you can build a proper foundation for the years to come when other factors are added to the marriage like children, financial issues and others marriage short comings that we keep reading about on this blog lol.. I only wish more single people would be made aware of these early marriage challenges so they expect it and be able to deal with appropriately when it us happening instead of all these short lived marriages that are now becoming the trend. Anyway I pray it works out for you.
ReplyDeleteYou are wise! Thumbs up
DeleteNwunye Okeke
Please i will advice you to leave him... you will grow to hate him later and cheating on him wont bring either of you happiness... wait for the right man that will give you the love you deserve, and trust me they are out there. and your earning more than him MUST be a problem, if not noe then later. he is lazy indeed please LEAVE that marriage, like our waffy fore fathers say "dont come and go and kill your self" ontop man matter biko. I like you already.... I dated a guy like that, in as much as he was my 1st boyfriend and i loved him like oxygen, i had to leave ooooooo before i will hate myself, look at me now, i have gotten over him and inlove with the most amazing guy ever after years of heart ache...
ReplyDeleteHonestly I wish I could meet you in person!im presently going tru exactly what u r going tru!i really wish I had the nerve to cheat but liver fails me!but I keep fantasising how I will meet a man to satisfy me!my husband has killed my sex libido!im just 28 years wt 3kids!but sexually and emotionally im equally dead!my wish is to meet a very decent matured man soon!im quite very very choosy when it comes to men!God help us all!pls respond to me as madam 28 thanks
ReplyDeleteWass is in dis sex or fucking people won die put
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Well let him knw hw bad is sex is and promise to teach him if he so wanted to learn and the paying of bills just gat to be shared so that he will stop being lazy.....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Hmmm....It is well
ReplyDeleteInstead of being in this prison, I would advise you see your priest or pastor your counselling, see a marriage counselor and if all these doesn't work, pls divorce him...its better to be alive than dead! Pls don't cheat on him....divorce is better than cheating!
ReplyDelete*for
ReplyDeleteHmmm! This is really serious.. That's y its important to taste a man's joystick before going into marriage with him.. That's ow I didn't taste before getting married, well I can't cheat cos he's trying his best to satisfy me, am feeling it cos he's not into sex. So I just gat to adapt with his kind of person nd move on.. So poster ur hubby has a serious case so u need to be used to it.
ReplyDeleteEiya dis is soo hard! Dnt mind d useless hubby! Pray fr him!
ReplyDeleteMmmmm everybody with their wahala ....this life sef? *sighhh* so tiring
ReplyDeleteNo kids yet and u have money and a job to take care of yourself hummm I knw it's not easy at all but I would have left dat marriage even if it's for a while so dat his senses can adjust. Honestly some men think that since they married you they own you and you ain't going nowhere no matter what they do to you.but let him know that u can actually leave the marriage if he dose not step up his game and behave like a husband and not a kid. Go back home on ur terms and b firm with him.make sure u talk to him and tell him everything you told us.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure he feels he did u a favor by marrying you.Are u older than him?
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I can tell you have a really soft heart and you are mature as well, only a strong woman will cover the shame of her husband, hence the undisclosure to your parents. Hmmm you pay the billsssssssss, and still he can't see all these and show appreciation. I feel for you.
ReplyDeleteI think you should call him out nicely, talk to him heart to heart. If he doesn't reason with you, sister Biko grap a vibrator and happy ya self. Give him the cold shoulders for a while, stop paying the bills for awhile and maybe he'll REALISE what he has.all the best. One love
Dear poster, I can tell you have a really soft heart and you are mature as well, only a strong woman will cover the shame of her husband, hence the undisclosure to your parents. Hmmm you pay the billsssssssss, and still he can't see all these and show appreciation. I feel for you.
ReplyDeleteI think you should call him out nicely, talk to him heart to heart. If he doesn't reason with you, sister Biko grap a vibrator and happy ya self. Give him the cold shoulders for a while, stop paying the bills for awhile and maybe he'll REALISE what he has.all the best. One love
I'm sure he feels he did u a favor by marrying you.Are u older than him?
ReplyDeleteSmh! Did you read with your eyes?
DeleteU are lucky to have somebody eating ur under with his teeth.Some of us don't have anybody.
DeleteOk now I know why
ReplyDeleteBut please dont cheat it will get better
If ona eat you no beleful tell am say you no beleful in a calm way
May God bless you with more wisdom
Get his ass up from that couch. Stop paying the bills, or fuel his car...he should us his money not yours, maybe then he'll appreciate the hard working wife he married
ReplyDeletehmnnn....what can I say?
ReplyDeleteAt this point, I can only say that getting married to the right spouse is EXTREME LUCK and THE GRACE OF GOD.
People are getting married for selfish reasons which results to pain, divorce, attempted cheating and all of that.
my dear poster, your husband married you for very selfish reasons.
I think you should have a heart to heart talk with him, if things are not working out still, call for a family meeting. (his folks and yours.) bare it all for everyone to hear.
don't bottle it up and please don't cheat...
Get things sorted. work it out or walk away.
If you find another man, please and please, look properly(I fit borrow you my glasses sef- na coke bottom) before you leap.
All the best!
Love they say is blind.
ReplyDeleteU may have since the sketches but ignored them.
And now u r experiencing them in 3D.
Go to a marriage counsellor then on Ur knees in prayers.
As for ur in-laws,u better explain to them what is going on now b4 they label u a gold digging witch.
That all I can say for now.
This is not enough reason to cheat on him.
ReplyDeleteDid he beat you?...no
Did he cheat on you...No
Whatever it is can be resolved.
He will grow up soon
very soon
when you stop paying the bills, he will man up.
Allow him to be the man.
XOXO MYSTERY
Stop all the pampering!.STOP spending money on him..babe KEEP your money. When you stop spending ur money on him, he will be forced to ask questions. He is taking you for granted. Sit his silly ass down and talk about his crappy sex..yes, let him know the truth..maybe he will wake up. I had a BF some years before I got married..the sex was rubbish, no money from him yet his attitude was terrible..I woke up one morning and threw him out! Take it from me..a guy dat plays video game all day will never grow up! Yuk!. Pls don't cheat with another man..adultery is wrong.
ReplyDeleteAnother small boy's story, I said it b/4 & I'll say it again. If u marry somebody aged 35 downwards, expect anything cos most of them acts childish/selfish, they don't know d meaning of marriage/commitment, only few meets up with expectations, yours is worse cos he's a mama's boy, that's btw. Poster, it's time to sit up, 1. Talk to him, tell him *kindly* his short comings esp d intimate part, if he changes or at least works on it, then u might hang on. 2. U must limit d 'footing d bills' part, start saving, cos u r not encouraging him by doing it all alone, if he can't fuel his car, let him take a cab or something from his pocket, 3. If he meets up with 1&2, overlook his addiction(games), most men have addiction, it could be games, alcohol, sex, smoking etc, so far he doesn't beat u. But if he refuses to change, free yourself cos if u decide to cheat, for how long? & thereby loosing your self worth. God frowns at divorce right, but same as adultry so dear do d one u prefer.
ReplyDeleteAs a liberated man, if I see my Wife cheating with a decent lady (in all areas)and not a bitch, I shall quietly join the party.If it will make my Wife happy and more satisfied,why not? I guess it will also assist in helping to sharpen my sexual skills.
ReplyDeletePoster pls don't cheat,thats not the solution...Start saving and stop paying bills and lastly sit him down and talk to him
ReplyDeleteOoh Chim! Ife na eme
ReplyDeleteI hate lazy men gosh..is not even about the fact that he earns less..he doesn't have a hustling spirit! No shame!! And those relatives of his..better call them and tell them how you pay for everything in their stupid son's house! Tell them!!
I really do not know what to say poster frankly,cos you didn't mention kids,your financial responsibilities will increase trust me! You will work until your back hurts cos he will not help with the kids...so when will you now save your own money..
Poster,always save atleast 300k every month after paying your tithe,dunno how you will do it ooh,but try .it means you will stop pampering him and getting Allllll the bills....you must save!
I hope you know he might be saving up and buying properties while you fuel his car?? I would have suggested you hold back on taking in so soon,but you know what,give birth sharperly and know you have kids to show for this marriage...3kids..anything can happen then..if the marriage survives..cool and beautiful..if it doesn't(i wish it will),you will find your squareroot..you will be max 35yrs old by then...takecare and don't cheat...it won't kill you to keep your legs closed..consider it a trying time...love yaaaa...xoxo
Sorry for the fowl language but u r still the architect of ur own problems. I v said it time without number, any lady who goes into any relationship financing everything which ordinarily a man is supposed to, will definitely end up being like you. I laugh out loud dear, who says u aint his mother loool honie u r his great grand mother, very soon u will start cleaning his ass after defecating or better still wearing him adult pampers. U made urself so cheap to him, over pampering him to a point of no return n there u v gotten your result. Stop acting like a child, grow up n make him want you.
ReplyDeleteI will start wt a hug poster! I absolutely feel ur humanness" if there's any english like dat! Ova d yrs,I've realised dt decent ladies face tough relationship problems,thou there's no perfect relationships,up and down of life is d stroy of all of us! Like u said,when a man wants 2hid no one teaches him how to hide and same goes to love,when a man wants 2love no one teaches him how to love too! And the truth is,honest communication is one way of getting 2d heart of any relationship but how can ds happen if he uses time of communication to play games? Hell no! U see,of all d solutions u will b giving here my heart felt advice 2u is to pray! Pray poster pls pray! Get down on ur knees n talk 2d God who has d heart of d king in his heart! It is Gods job 2change pple not urs,as it is now,its quiet hard 4u but nothing,I repeat nothn is hard 4God 2change! It mayb true that when a woman earns more than a man it brings about some EGO attack frm d guy but that mostly happen where there's no love n when couple don't communicate often! I respect ur courage not 2cheat on him n pls keep 2it! Start falling in love wt urself ova n ova again,refocuse n put most of ur attention to God n quiet time,this will b d miracle that will change ur marriage. Ur husband will change 2amaze u! We ve heard worse stories that got its break tru and I know that u will get ur breaktru! I encourage u once again to kip being a decent woman dt u are,decency has its reward! My tight hug again! Its well wt u! Again,every test lies underneth it a testimony,look beyond ur test... Come share ur testimony ooo! Lol!
ReplyDeleteSome guys sha, poster you are the husband ohh while he is the wife. The journey you entered is a long one, you better ask yourself how many years you will continue such miserable journey. Dump that man he is not ready to settle down,he married you because you can take care of his financial needs.
ReplyDeleteYears back our guys are hard working and hustle 24/7 but the past 7years or more all we see/hear are women being in charge while guys being too lousy. Most ladies see the hand writing on the wall,but because of answering Mrs you rush to marry. All the story we read about lousy men will get worst if ladies who are "working class"do not stop keeping those kind of men, they should also create time to socialise because when you go after career for too long by the time you get to a certain stage you want to settle down you won't have time to study a man you go for anything. Socialise and make friends as you go after your career.
Don't know what to advice seriously as I'm not an advocate for divorce...so it's tough 4me.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, stop doing everything for him. He has a responsibility in this marriage, he should take it up. I know good husbands earning 100k as monthly salary and they are doing fine.
Stop spending your money on him, am sure you'll see another beast. He's prolly enjoying ur money and the benefits. He's an opportunist, gosh! Some men sha...ewwww!
You guys need to work together. If you lived outside Nigeria making about N500k/month = $3200/month (pre-tax), then you are poor as well. As such you could not have afforded all the luxury you insinuated in your write up.
ReplyDeleteChai orisirisi nsele ooo!!!! @poster do not cheat abeg cos if u do,u go dey downgrade urself d more nd u won't still be happy! Look 4 a way of talking to him pls.,thanks poster for the contribution..btw someting tells me dat dat woman adoption story is true,my mind nor dey decive me!
ReplyDeleteChai orisirisi nsele ooo!!!! @poster do not cheat abeg cos if u do,u go dey downgrade urself d more nd u won't still be happy! Look 4 a way of talking to him pls.,thanks poster for the contribution..btw someting tells me dat dat woman adoption story is true,my mind nor dey decive me!.......................OKIJA WIFE
ReplyDeleteNobody can ever understand what she's going through, The fact that she pays bills only come make any woman irritated. My dear I will never condemn you and woo to anyone who try's too. U just have to deal with it. Run to God in prayers and Invite his sister to the house to stay for a month she can easily call him out And tell the family the kind of a man he is
ReplyDeleteJust divorce him. How a man can rape his wife and then says he only enjoys sex when it's rape beats me!
ReplyDeleteHow you married a gold-digger who doesn't care about you, surprises me!
Just divorce him and move on. If you choose to stay, he needs to see a shrink.
This kind of man can kill.
Dear post after so much deliberation on this issue on ground I came up with this idea.
ReplyDelete1 - stop paying bills it's his responsibilities as a man.,,watch him change soon you stop paying the bills.,don't fuel his car anymore,that his 800 abi 900 usd by when he starts paying bills and be left with about 200 usd he will stop playing games.
IMO,guys of nowadays are lazy because girls are now forming miss independent to their men..
ReplyDelete*yinmu...
No man eats my money except my sugar sons that I use and pay off..
cn i rily stnd dis?n to tink some inlaws cn b vry inconsiderate n provokn..plz dnt cheat.rather divorc hm n mov on cuz he has alredy tld u to hug transforma........jenny
ReplyDeletePOSTER..now that you have narrated ur ordeal in the hands of husband. I want to let you know that there are so many women out there who are not happily married. Thiers is a haven of suicidal mission. Good a thing dis guy has not started been violent wit you, that will be worse. Belief me that guy will never change. Am a living experience. As a matter of fact he will change for worse. Do you have kids now or are you preggo? If not go on a long vacation. No calls. No cheating. Leave the lazy ass alone. Let him feed on his meager salary and nurse his video game. Men like that can push a woman to resentment but dont fall into such temptations. You can only chastise ur hubby wen ur conscience is clear. U can place authority as a wife wen u are devoid of immoral ethics. He seem like a herring guy. People like that should be ignored. Act like he does not even exist. Are you ready for this? No pampering. No shopping for him. We kno dia types cos wen the babies start coming it will be worse. You will be a single mother in your home. You will eventually grow that immaginary dick. You will be unhappy. So now build that hardeness. Stay hardened. But no cheating otherwise you will loose ur self worth and communion with God. Its well with u.
ReplyDeleteFATHER IN HEAVEN BY THE DECREE AND POWER OF THY WORDS. I SPEAK LIFE INTO THAT MARRIAGE THIS MINUTE. THAT YOUR DAUGHTER MAY NOT BE TEMPTED INTO SINNING AGAINST YOU. HER HOPES. HER TRUST. HER DESIRES FOR A HAPPY HOME LIES WITH YOU LORD. LET THERE BE CHANGE IN HER HOME IJN. AMEN. IT IS WELL WITH YOU.
See this one praying for another person's marriage when in truth you're wearing the same shoes. Now I do feel sorry for you, no wonder you feel everyone is living a sad, pathetic, bitter and unfulfilled life like you. Pray for your marriage before praying for anyone else's.
DeleteHave a good day ma'am!
I'm sure he feels he did u a favor by marrying you.Are u older than him?
ReplyDeleteSeptember 12, 2014 at 9:53 AM
ODE READ AGAIN
May God give u d wisdom to handle this situation...but do not cheat with neither male nor female.
ReplyDeletePoster, I'm gonna make it simple for you...i'll give you practical advice that I guarantee you will work.
ReplyDelete1.You foot the bill and pamper your overgrown baby, are u a learner?? What is wrong with you? You're the causer of all this..
2. Stop being a good Cook, u spend ur time, energy and money cooking for a lazy man? he doesn't deserve it. PLS pour pepper and salt in that food of yours! Don't forget that, there's no food for a lazy man!
3. As for the video game, pls Google is ur friend... search 'how to damage a video game box safely' simple! no need for long story. If he replaces it, pls do the needful.(in Ngozi okonyi iweala's voice)
4. Next time he uses his teeth on you, sound him a hot slap and apologize. It's an involuntary action!
5. He likes to rape you bah?,,he enjoys the scuffle, ok... he should contunuu, (in mama peace's voice) Biko next time, be sure to use your knee to crush his balls, after all. it's all part of the struggle, abi na scuffle... Nansense!!
Action they say, speaks louder than words!! Shikena!
I repeat, your pussy is between your legs do as you please.
ReplyDelete@ queen and boss of this blog . I completely disagree with that generalisation . My friend was married to an anambra guy and he left her after three kids . One yr later he married a Yoruba girl . Their you go .
ReplyDeleteWhen I sent my mail about two weeks ago, people on this block cuss me out. Poster, you have money, but you are sex starved. I rather enjoy sex than starve like this. Talk to him poster!
ReplyDeleteYou should have a serious talk with him. Make him realise that he is not doing you a favour by marrying you. Stop paying his bills. If possible get someone to talk to him maybe a relation of his that he respects very well. Cheating is not an option.
ReplyDeleteI'll say u should do whatever will make u happy cos he's doing what makes him happy. Thank God he's not raising his hands or cheating yet and stop praying. He'll get tired of d game soonish. It is well.
ReplyDeleteSome of u can be comical on this blog . Had a good laugh . Off to nur to pick up one of my naughty ones . @poster don't forget to use bib on him next time o .
ReplyDeletePerson wey no know go talk anyhow like me yesterday. phew! Pls don't cheat but instead stop fueling his car n others, he should take up his responsibilities. You have a key to his heart like food, sex, etc, yes he gets all these just the way he wanted and still enjoys other benefit, my dear you can unlock him properly to take up his responsibilities. To tell you the truth even if u r not there, he will still survive, so stop it and watch his reaction then sit him down and talk to him.
ReplyDelete