Some of you Ladies are praying for God to help you locate your husbands but i ask you one thing,Its not just about getting married,are you ready for the accompanying responsibilities?
Ready to sometimes give it all up for him without a 'fight'?
Hmm,now lets get to the house chores...It is overwhelming and some will not be able to afford a housekeeper to help do the cleaning....This part is the real deal.
A Blog visitor who is about to get married went to visit her intended and returned in shock.Read what she found out...LOL.
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''Stella I just want to draw your attention to what we women go through. I spent a week at my fiancées house and Stella I must say I praise all married women keeping it real in their homes, may God continue to bless and give you all strength ...Amen!
That shit ain't easy menh!
You wash, clean, scrub, cook and still be a shoulder to lean on and as if it's not enough you are still expected to open your legs at night and after all this you are still expected to walk and dress like a princess.
On top it all you are told to keep making your relationship sexy and spicy. Before you know it you become drained both physically and emotionally, little wonder so many wives are walking about bitter cos they have given their "all" just cos HE puts food on the table!.
I can't even say for the working class mothers after helping with the bills some of our men think it's still ok for them not to help out with the affair around the house.
Please male BVs if you notice your spouse has been acting bitter for a while help around the house and see how she will automatically change and start being that girl you used to know.
Mothers let's train our sons in such a way that they will know it is ok to help around the house.....
Have a fab week! Cull from Wendy lol''
*I agree it isnt easy but gradually you find a balance.sometimes when you are all waiting for me to approve comments or blog,I am busy ironing clothes or cooking and keeping everywhere in order,especially because i cannot stand an untidy environment.
Most times i have a housekeeper come in but the bulk still falls on me.sometimes i frown and he immediately understands and helps out..it isnt easy but you will find your balance.
Sometimes I think the mind of a man functions to the default that once a woman is around she is responsible for all.
Those people who fix nails,I dont even know how they manage because I cant tell how many times a day your hands get busy.
Sorry for my blah blah,who has a story concerning this to share?
I always compliment responsible mothers because its not easy to take care of your hubby, kids and inlaws....
ReplyDeleteKudos to all the mothers in the house, you guys rock big time.....
Hmnn, it's not easy at all. I can only do d 1ce I can, d rest I leave till weneva I can. Make person no go dey fagged out with chores. Gettin a house help isnt even easy. I nid one like ASAP
DeleteDear God, I'm ready to do all the chores! Cook, clean, iron, wash and still ride my husband into cloud 9 everynight ! Baba answer your daughter oooo
Deleteyep women do try when it comes to taking care of the kids and making sure every member of the family is always good to go...but relating to house chores,why do most people take it as if its killing?? Personally i do everything regarding sweeping,cleaning,washing,ironing and most times cooking(cos mum always insist on doing soo herself)etc whenever i return for holidays at home and i just dont complain about any of them...even here in school;my friends marvel as to how i do all these and still go for lectures each and everyday...soo here is my point;i dont think there is much in terms of doing chores(unless you aint used to it) and reading here about how chores made the poster go wow is just something im still trying to figure out....if as a guy i can do all these and still go about my daily activities;then why should a woman/lady complain....yea i raise my thumbs for married women but in terms of chores;abegiiiiii
DeleteStella, story oooo!!! I fix my nail always (though short), n I do everything comfortably with it. I do not have an househelp, just a wash man who comes in to get some clothes washed, while d drycleaner does d duve, bed sheets n hubby's clothes. I still wash my tops myself n dresses, especially those clothes I bought above 5k, cos ds drycleaner can be destructive sometimes. Cooking, mopping, washing dishes I do all. Artificial nails doesn't stop anything for me. I must also add that I cook almost everyday, cos hubby loves his food freshly made. My hubby is also not chauvinistic, he helps out when he is home, I must say that he is a hands on hubby. So Fixing nails doesn't stop anything, may be for those who carry claws around, Lol.
DeleteAnd my hubby will asking me why are u not turned on if he knows how I just want to sleep ehn after all the work, to hold his son let's me do the work na wahala, in short my resentment towards him grows everyday, To think
DeleteHe was begging me to marry him, I will make u the happiest woman in the world SMH, my new resolution even 1k I no go add for any house expenses since he is the man let him do the expected and I stick to mine. Let him even travel and go somewhere let me rest abeg.
Martin a boy FYI it's a totally different ball game when you have small kids ooo. The place u tidied just now they will scatter 5 mins later. Scatter food everywhere tear paper and scatter everywhere and they eat like 6 times a day! U cannot just imagine how destructive small kids are
DeleteThe solution to the chores wahala,being too tired for sex afterwards is to get a maid or a faithful relation dat will be helping out.just that dese days everybody seem to be ahead of themselves,no one wants too serve and even d maids are a bag full of trouble.
DeleteFor real housework is not easy,worse if u have lil kids and are alone!arrrrgh....may God bless the hands that rock d cradle jare!#
When you now start having kids nko? Sleepless nights and having to resume at work with an alert mind.
ReplyDeleteWomen have been multi tasking since time immemorial and will continue to do so.
Forget the hype about men, women are the stronger sex.
God knows my hubby helps me a lot, his parents trained them well and there is absolutely nothing my husband cannot do, he cooks, cleans, in fact i have my time off the kitchen, he calls it my weekend off.
DeleteWhen i spent time with his parents i was blown away esp. coming from a home where my father used to act like a demi god .My hubby's parents do everything together even in their 70s, his father is so active and loves his wife to bits,still cooks for her, cuts her hair, shower together, massages her etc.
My husband says their love has always been like that, his sister who lives abroad put to bed invited their mum, she refused to go and insisted that she had to go with her husband.
Mothers, lets start raising our sons right, We allow the boys read , play games or football indirectly giving them the impression that they aren't meant to raise a finger at home and they grow up with this mentality.Most of them cant lift a finger and are damn lazy.
Pele..lol
Delete@ whirlwind, I totally understand u. My husband is exactly the same. We've been married for 11 years now and I haven't even washed my clothes or that of the kids in that amount of time.
DeleteHe's very helpful. Breal fast in bed every Saturday morning.
In fact im preggo now and he hardly allows me do anything in the house.
Thank God for my husband.
@Whirlwind word!!!!. It's not easy at all. When my dad came to visit us, he had to advise me that I shld not do all in one day dat tomorrow is another day lolz. But me I can't stand an untidy environment. God will continue to give us strength.
DeleteI dey see Baba Olomi work for here oo......
DeleteMumulity tins on point.
Ezenwanyi..did u just say "mumulity tins" ??? hmmm,,i pity ur daughter(s) in law cos u must have given ur sons nasty orientations that they are men and are not supposed to help their wife in d home. SMH for u.
DeleteShake it till it falls off.
DeleteUna wan domesticate a whole man abi????e no work shogbo.
My son go begin wash plates,wash clothes .....wetin him Papa no do oo.....just bcos one wife wants to be happy abi???yinmu**
Go and get urselves maids jare...una dey fear make d maid no fucck una husband.
Go and sit ur ass down pls.
Ezenwanyi your comments leave me confused most times. Are you not a wife too?
DeleteWe are trying to help ourselves here.
Ezenwanyi is male, please stop assuming he is female or associating him with women. Thanks.
Delete1; 15,
DeleteOya come make I fuck U.
Bwahahahaha.............
Hahahaha. Ezenwanyi na wa.
DeleteI have a son and he already abhors chores. Not like I care. He must keep anywhere he is near at all times. Fold his clothes. Helps me with the thrash. Soon unto cooking. His dad was raised as a spoilt brat that won't even take his plates to the kitchen after eating. No be here my son go try that o
ReplyDeleteSomehow women find a balance, if you can't afford a househelp, wash whenever you've time(mustn't be saturday), clean when you have strength (be it night or day)..There are no hard and fast rules to life!
ReplyDeleteThat's an African phenomenon where the male children are taught how to become a man-teaching them how to be brave! We are Africans, where things like this are seen as an abomination. It's okay for them to help when the need arises but our society has made it strictly a woman's job. That's what makes an African woman different.
ReplyDeleteGOD BLESS NIGERIA.
Even without being married there's a whole lot of house chores for you to do. So its not about being married its about the individual. Nothing changes a house chores loving person, not even marriage.
ReplyDeleteHouse chores loving person indeed.. wait till u get married and have kids.. you will do d chores,take care of ur kids,and still cook,breakfast,lunch and dinner.. still take care of big baby when he is back home.. I am single, my house is always clean..but I cook when ever I feel like..and I ve no one to take care of.. my dear it's different when you are married.. kudos to my married sisters biko.. not easy atall
DeleteHmmm @ miss ess,have u ever stayed awake like 60percent of d nite for two months tending to a baby and also keeping d balance @ home during d day?If u haven't,may such befall u sooner than u think,Ameeeen.
DeleteHmmm @ miss ess,have u ever stayed awake like 60percent of d nite for two months tending to a baby and also keeping d balance @ home during d day?If u haven't,may such befall u sooner than u think,Ameeeen.
DeleteMy sentiments exactly. Wait till you get married and have kids then ccome back and tell us your findings.
DeleteHahahahahaha @come back n tell us ur findings. Anon 5:32PM, no mind miss Ess jare.... chores loving person indeed. Before I got married, l loved cleaning my parents house. Infact out of d 4 of us children, I was super miss spick n span. Miss prim n proper, everywhere was always properly kept. When I got married, I see work n I had to slow doen cos I developed high BP in d 2nd year of my marriage. I had lots to do, as I'm cleaning my husband n kid are scattering. Infact, it's not easy, but I thank God for strength. I don't have an househelp, jus someone who comes in about twice a week to help, cos I don't want any live in maid. 24hrs is not enough for me any more, I must confess.
DeleteMagajiya,
DeleteIs it just two months?
People say sleep when the baby is asleep but thats the only time you have got to clean, cook and tidy the house. The moment you are through, baby wakes up....
Miss ess, wait till u r married and u have kids...
Don't mind all these ovetsabi ITK women that are always quick to talk ISH when the reality is said. Wait! Get married and have kids, then come and say your story! I slept 1:00am this morning because that was when my son fell asleep. Woke up early again to prepare the other children for school and husband was asking me for a quickie! I ignored him! All my body ache right now.
DeleteThat frowning own is so me.
ReplyDeleteMind you I'm not married yet o, so I hope he doesn't change, when I visit or he visits me in school I do the one I can do, and when I'm tired and he's just idle I start frowning, I can frown for Africa.lol
And it works!
But seriously some Guys are just so wicked, especially African Men, when I was in Pry1 and I was taught the roles of Family members, the father provides and mummy cooks... that was in the early 90's times have changed and so have roles, women now provide, but a typical African Man will expect you to do it all, I've seen situations abroad where the woman earns more and the man gladly took up the housekeeping,but a Man without a good Job here will be so bitter, that he would turn Violent if you dare suggest he helps.
My advice though, while dating discuss these things and if you are the type that can't do much work make him understand so he can help.
Discussing ishs while dating doesn work most times. THERES A BIG DIFFERENCE BTW THEORY AND PRACTICAL. iF I begin yarn ground go full but I trust someone in my shoes get my point
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
My mum does all these things and even more thats why i call her SUPER WOMAN....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Super wicked son
DeleteKeep calling her a superwoman and don't do anything to help her when you can, you hear?
DeleteSuper wicked son ni e loto.
Delete@magayiya ur comment cracked me up...lmao #super wicked son.
DeleteHahahahaha , u guys wont kill me here, see how u attacked him, I just love bvs, no dullinh
DeleteYou are an idiot son to watch your mum do everything! Mschew.
DeleteIts really not easy but when u marry d right one for u, he not only acts as a husband but as ur helper too... God help us d singles to pick right n help those already married
ReplyDeleteLmao.its not easy to be a woman.since I got married I hardly judge wives oh.esp.the ones who work full time and are mothers like me.so when I see all these mistresses I just laugh because they think they are so special....hahahahaha.thry are just fools.the husband deeply admires his wifey it's just dat in his nature to 'chop awoof' heheheheh.twale to wives jare....e noh ezy.
ReplyDeleteIhekire Tony
ReplyDeletePlease all men are not the same. Some men derives joy in helping out in the home. I think what I miss most, about leaving my family home, was washing my mum's cloths.
Sometimes I wish i have someone who will tell me how my meals taste.
I always say marriage is slavery. Or should I say being a woman in the marriage is a huge disadvantage? How about women that work and are STILL expected to cook, clean, take care of kids, look sexy for hubby and still open their legs at night? Poster, you never even jam anything. This is a tip of the iceberg cos children are not yet involved. Add kids to the equation and sometimes you'll want to pick up your handbag and RUN RUN RUN. Thats how I feel at times. And my hubby helps. He's actually very handy around the house. Still it can get very overwhelming physically and emotionally. The keyword is balance. Im trying to find that balance now. I planned an all girls trip with my girlfriends to Dubai. First vacation without hubby and the kids in 8years of marriage and I'm so looking forward to it. I love my family to death but I need ME time in an effort not to start to resent them.
ReplyDeletei feel you, the moment you get married,you seem not to have a life again 55% goes to the kids, 40% hubby, 5% yourself.
DeleteU are so lucky, 8yrs in marriage and u are so hapi while mine is just a year and some months and it already miserable, soaking my pillow every nite and d worst of it is that hubby wants a divorce, but who do I turn to wit my baby. No parents, can't afford to b a liability to sisters and their hubby. I really nid to make dis mariage work again, I nid to win hubby's lov back again every if it is a distance mariage. Waiting to b done wit my schl to join him but every single day is always one problm ova d phone or another. Wish I can also say 8yrs of mariage
DeleteHmmmmmm, oriegwu ooo...Godks grace I pray when I marry cos ihe a odighi nfe o.
DeleteAnon 4:34 God will see you tru. As I am, I even wish hubby wants a divorce sef. I'm already tired and I have two children
DeleteAnon 4:34 God will see you tru. As I am, I even wish hubby wants a divorce sef. I'm already tired and I have two children
DeletePeople get issues o...one has a hubby who wants a divorce, the other wants hubby to want a divorce.... God hears the thoughts of your hearts and will see you through it all....
DeleteAnon 3:32,
I get you.....go to work, come home, feed baby, make dinner, have bath, wait for hubby to get home, eat, listen to hubby talk of his day while I contribute or comfort him when it's a bad day, crawl into bed when baby sleeps and sometimes spread my legs for the man that paid my brideprice....... E no easy at all at all
...
My dear, I dont even know how to advice u, after 14 yrs wish he could just divorce me, we r more or less like roommates, I get infected anytime we hv sex, he doesn't appreciate me in anyway, but for the past two yrs ive bn seeing someone, let him kp leaving in a fools paradise
DeleteUna own good o.. my ex hubby will come and inspect if u have done it well.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha! Choi!! Wo- men don shuffer!
DeleteInspect??..
DeleteCan you imagine?..are you his slave??..can't deal biko..
Crazy!Inspect?
DeleteLmao, Inspector
DeleteTrue, true, it isn't easy. After coping with all that the men still have the gull to cheat on you (for one flimsy excuse or another), make obnoxious rules and regulations and still harass the woman at home! May God help us women! #OneLove#
ReplyDeleteWelcome back kook blend, I hope all is well with you
DeletePlease what is "gull" ?
DeleteI thank God for the man he has given to me, he likes to help out with cooking and doesn't want me stressing myself at all. I just pray he doesn't change after marriage. Amen
ReplyDeleteI no get story o. All I know is that it's not easy!! Just to even think and arrange what would be eaten morning,afternoon and night ain't easy. I know how my mum tries to mix everything well so that we don't eat too much carbohydrate on one day.
ReplyDeleteI also feel for those who wash their husbands clothes join too! Daalu nu.
As for scrubbing and cleaning and moping and drying and cooking and spreading legs join, I no get strength o. Ike adirom.
I gaz get my own Jose or carry Ezenwanyi's own as am getting married. And carry Wide eye's help too.
"In Mamie's voice" my work is to procreate and give advice too and help DH to cut down on his spending by spending it mysef.
Omg Lmao. U no well
DeleteU r rily funny. Tank God for washin machine at least dat one is out
DeleteBetter pikin
Delete@olivia! Ur crazy seriously!! No be small ike adirom!! Hahahahahhahah!! May God help us singles in making the ryt choice
Deleteha! I aint parting with the help! She don turn PA. She runs my life and smoothly too.God bless this well behaved Jos girl.
DeleteMak she no run ur hubby too oh abeg...b carefl dnt wnt read stories dt touch on SDKB
DeleteI have a problem stella.
ReplyDeleteI hate people doing my chores for me.
I love to clean, clean and clean. I think I have OCD. I love to wash the dishes, clothes, cars, bathrooms, arrange the wardrobe... everything. I don't even understand it. tell me to tidy up, I will gladly do.
tell me to cook, I will frown but still cook It sha. (I hate cooking..gosh! but I just have to)
even my friends tease me that if I were to be someone's househelp, my madam will not want to let me go.
the thing is how I can keep my home all sparkling + my regular job (though flexible) + attend to the kids + attend to hubby + cross leg on sdk blog is what beats my imagination.
is it that I know how to manage my time or it that its because I just love to do these things that's why its like its no biggie or is it that I am somehow?
hmnnn....
Every woman has that extra power.....sometimes, my husband will say, baby, go and rest before you fall o.....lol
DeleteBtw, u get anyone with your traits wey fit De help out? Lol
..and yes! women have the greatest multi tasking skills in the world.
ReplyDeleteshout out to all the women who are home keepers.
Pls how do u multi task? Share some tips, pls wud love to learn. Thank u
DeleteYes we do; u have to be able to multi-task as a woman or be prepared to grow extra pairs of limbs, lol
DeleteYeah!!! Priceless is what we really are. Kudos!
Delete«Peace Ambassador »
I can't complain because of the look on hubby and children's face when i am at home . hubby helps a LOT but i am the woman of the house and they always NEED MOI :) The best part for MOI is my food, they can't do without my food, they hate to eat out and that make's my head swell :) a few months back one of my pikin asked, will i ever get a wife that will be able to cook as good as my darling mum? He cooks also, that made MOI very proud of myself. *smiles*
ReplyDeleteNa only married woman you go praise ,what about single mum?
ReplyDeleteI am in my early 40s and bn a widow for two years. I lv doing my shores alone even when my two kids are on holiday. They're very good at it though. My hubby was the best in his days. I miss him too much
DeleteOkay
DeleteHugs @ Anony 6:54. U rock baby!!
DeleteFix nails? The last time I did that was on my wedding day!
ReplyDeleteMehn it's not easy being a good wife and mother. To be that, you have to sacrifice all, as in alllllll.
Sometimes when I rant here, some might think I'm just blabbing.
I have really sacrificed my all.
Sometimes I will go shopping with the aim of spoiling myself only to end up not buying even a pant for myself. I will end up spending all on buying things for the kids, the house and hubby sometimes. It happened to me last week. Managed to buy just 1 jumpsuit for me and ended up spending all on my kids cloths, toys, games, story books and shoes. I love my kids to smart always.
When I came back, hubby just weak for me, when he saw I didn't buy the things that took me to the mall in the first place,Lmao!
I never knew I could be this selfless before now. I hardly think of myself now. I sleep last and wake up first every damn day.
I'm now a professional when it comes to multitasking.
See me that use to love argument before and will not relent till my opponent gives in. I now submits easily just for peace sake.
The one that pains me most is that I'm not where I'm meant to be financially because I had to pause my dreams to look after my lil ones. I know where I would have been if I wasn't married. God dey sha, it's just a phase that will pass soon.
That's why I'm "team born quick quick" na back to back I dey fire am now. If not for this last delivery with cs, I had already planned to take in again next year. But something in me is warning me not to so I won' because I try to obey my gut feeling.
I don't want 28/29 years to meet me still carrying pregnancy up and down. God please oh, hear my prayers, let all my plans go well.
Oh how I miss my single days...
All the attention from toasters and my constant shakara, hahahahahaha!
How my phone use to ring steady then. That shit use to piss my dad off then. He said I answer calls more than top business men, Hahahaha.
I wonder why he never banned me from using phones then. It was that bad really.
How I miss my "me" time... Just thinking about me and me alone and spending my money all on myself.
How I miss hanging out with my lovely girl friends and generally catching fun.
How I miss long showers! Now I can run out of the bathroom with soap in my eyes just to come and attend to the baby because I can't just ignore the cries.
When last did I relax in front of my dressing mirror to do proper makeup? Na for inside car I dey do my light make up now, that is if I must oh. I go without it sometimes.
When last did I gave a proper night rest? If I have up to 4 hours sleep in one night then it's a miracle!
Arrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!!!
When I manage to get the kids to sleep, oga might come for his kwarangida, wetin I go do? Na to just give in na, to avoid plenty talks.
I have 2 people helping with house chores but because I'm never satisfied with their work, I end up doing some or I stay with them and supervise.
It's not easy mehn.
I can't wait for my kids to grow a little more so I can have a little me time again.
It is well with us all.
We are strong and we will survive.
We rock joor!
1 million gbosa for women!
U just lik me, I can't wait to born sharp sharp
DeleteWow! Pele. The Lord is your muscle, lol
Deletebut it's worth it abi? Stop complaining oo, some people dey fast and pray to get this kind of stress in their life.
About the financial part, you have the the whole of your youthful/working days to make money after childbearing, afterall Oga is very capable for now.
Choi! I finished publishing before my brain processed that last line, I wanted to bone but I fear nor let me b4 people will misinterpret. Ehen...
DeleteI mean afterall Oga is capable to take care of now(alone).
now I have peace. Lol
Eyaa Genny baby..
DeleteI know exactly how you feel...
Its just a phase that would soon pass..honestly its not easy cos I have been there but right now,its enjoying time for me...
My boys now help out especially the older one...though sometimes,he play games and forget him self..
I have a help that comes in the morning and leave in the evening but I make sure they particpate in the chores...
I now have enough time for my self,business and my home..
I don't joke with my looks ohh...if I buy a pair of footwear for them,I must buy for my self biko..abiarom uwa afufu..
Mothers,try and look good for your selves biko..that's how some young age on time..you will see a vibrant beauiful 30 years old woman looking old and unkempt while her 45 years old husband is still looking young and fresh...
Oriegwu!!..
@Nuvi, thanks dearie, I perfectly understand what you mean. You know every every now.
Delete*wink.
@The Queen, thanks my dear.
I think this is the most difficult phase mehn.
Can't wait to be like you oh, hehehehe.
Genny baby that's very much me. Being a mother is not an easy task at all. May God help us
DeleteGenny, u r officially my blog sister....lol....this is so much story....the only difference is that I go to work....
DeleteGod bless all the mothers in the house. Its not easy at all but its just a phase. Some are praying fervently and spending so much to experience all these,,so i say we are highly favored to know what it feels like being a mother and a wife.
DeleteGod bless us all.
Ihekire Tony is seriously ripe for marriage.
ReplyDeleteHe cooks, cleans and sometimes wishes he has someone that can tell him what his food taste like? Dude, go and marry na. What are you waiting for?
Phrinkles don gree?
DeleteStella, like the poster stated these are some of the reasons why so many married Nigerian women are bitter...they give and give and give but get nothing in return. I thank God all the time for my husband. He is the first son and will always tell me how his mom made him do house chores around the house and also cook even though some of his younger ones are female. His mom is in heaven right now but. I thank her and send her kisses to heaven for raising a real man that doesn't even need me to blink before he does what needs to be done. Thank God also for giving me a Gem. Some of these Nigerian men really need to stop slacking.
ReplyDeleteThis wasnt d plans I had before getting married but am stuck.I love my husband and kids there's no doubt about it but sometimes I'd wish in my heart if I can jus die for 2wks then come back again.I am the first to wake,make breakfast,sweep,dust,mop, etc and last to go to bed,bed duty now calls.I felt trapped and was always shouting and screaming at my kids.I am a workaholic by nature but wen I got pregnant wit my first child I had to resign now I am trying to get a job but nobody wans to hire a mother of three.I am just beginning to get a life after 8yrs.I went back to school after 10yrs,its as if my life jus started.
ReplyDeleteIt's only in that part of the world (Africa) that we believe only women should do the house chores.. In as much as it's their duties,its also the duty of the men to assist when required..Women are our helpers not slaves..
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm..... Now you guys are scaring me ooohh *covers face* Me that is so used to sending maid and cleaning my room only
ReplyDelete@Poster just prepare your mind, not easy but you'll certainly balance all. Me: From work - to cook, from cooking - cleaning and hubby will be there with our boy, atimes na shout I go shout small or say something before he gets up and help out.
ReplyDeleteANGELRAY SAID
ReplyDeleteIs really not easy for a woman to ve a lazy hubby.
'Sometimes I think the mind of a man functions to the default that once a woman is around she is responsible for all.' Stella I love this ur statement. U just described my hubby here. Mhen wen we wr still dating he assists oh n I was happy he does. Immediately we said I do, na to ur tent oh isreal oh. All d house responsibility is nw on me. Last week I had to sit him down oh, told him am nt a robot na, he shld once in a while assist a little, luckily he adjusted n he is nw assisting wen he is chanced.
ReplyDeleteIn the end,some of these men will not even appreciate ur efforts. Some be like" what is there to take care of the house and kids?" we have suffered!
ReplyDeleteHmm!this was the topic in my home b4 I went back to my nysc post. My mum brought us up(we're 4) all by herself without the help of any maid or help & she was a teacher.my dad was away in school for his Bsc & he came home for some weekends & he used to help her out. Fast forward 2014,my siblings are married & my sister inlaw is enjoying massively as my bro is of great help to her.My other bro is a Rev Father.My sister on the other hand is working her ass off & her hubby is the most lazy person I've ever come across. Someone that can't wash his own boxers & carry his plates to the kitchen after eating. My sis works frm 8am-5pm & she'll still be the one to pick up her 2kids frm daycare & cook & clean when she gets home. He can't even hold the baby that's a year old for an hour without complaining that my sis shuld come & carry her. I'm jst angry. My sis is like a slave in that house.I knw what I'm saying coz I've stayed with them for months b4 I started my service. The worst part is that he nags a lot & he shouts @ her like she's a child. Mschewwwwwww!!! Dunno whether she didn't see his lazy traits when they were dating or na love blind her eyes. Abeg,I follow aunty Stella raise yansh for women/wives.its nt easy one bit! #Cutebusybee
ReplyDeleteHope that your inlaw is wealthy?..if not,he is a motherfucker..
Delete@ Anony 3:32
ReplyDeleteROTFL... thank God he's an EX! Damn crazy!
Please Visit Zinny's Blog
www.zinnychukwuka.blogspot.com
I grew up where it is a taboo for men to cook, so how chores sef, rarely and it pained me well, so I was sure I wouldn't marry a man who is not homely. Now, my husband is homelier than some women, he cooks very well, cleans house and all. Now he prefers my food but helps me a lot in the kitchen, but men don't have the resilience and multi tasking abilities women have so sometimes wen he's tired, he just rests, while I need to finish, he rarely cooks though but weekends, he makes breakfast. He machines the clothes, vacuums the rugs and doesn't wait for me to do stuff for him, he warms food for himself and me too. He doesn't like to do dishes a lot but me I ensure my house is neat and I think he's encouraged cos I don't leave the work for him or act like helping me is my right. I set out to do it by myself, if he helps, fine. My friends husband got pissed that she kept waiting for him to work at home, so he stopped, men & their ego!
ReplyDeleteSue baby!
DeleteKudos!
I dey like mumu things oo....
winks**
Where is Ronalda??
Right here, sweetie. Wie ghets? Been on a crazy schedule for a couple of weeks now, so I breeze in and zoom out of SDKB. You know I love topics like this but I wouldn't fall for the trap. Lol!
DeleteHmmm. When children start coming in nko? And hubby said he doesn't eat stale food I must cook a fresh soup daily. I had to stand my ground and said no to that o, afterall when I die he go still marry. I have a 7 month old baby and just discovered I'm preggers again. Mehn I haff die. I had to get a live in househelp o, cos this second preg eh, av become so lazy and hubby will eat b/fast, by 12 he don dey ping to ask wether lunch don set. I no longer do the cleaning since I got this girl but its still not easy for me lately. And my baby can cry for africa
ReplyDeleteLol@ u r pregnant.... I'm seriously considering the iud..... Just that I'm scared it will fall in during, you know what, cz I have an experimental hubby....
DeleteHeiyaa!! It is well with u Oil money! Congrats on the new bundle on d way! Dont worry, God will strenghten u, just do the ones u can and leave d rest till wen next u regain strenght!!
DeleteMadam, the Lord is your muscle. Just like parents have been married for 36years and my dad eats fresh soup everyday. Sometimes I feel for my mum, cos she is too used to it now. She has spoilt my dad that he can't eat one soup twice. She's going to the US for omugwo in a few weeks. I've been laughing at my dad for the past three days because he will hear it hot. He sulks so much these days.... I'm sure he's listing the things he's goona miss for the next few months. And this is one trip he can't use his usual tricks to cancel just because he's not tagging along.
DeleteHehe marriage is not an easy thing
ReplyDeleteI have 3 kids plus another one in the oven cooking (lol) nd I can tell u its not easy at all.
I wake up very early for school, bathe,feed nd dress dem up. Wen they ve finally gone to school I have to clean up d whole mess, d only time I rest a bit is wen they are at school (dat is wen I dont have to go for shopping) but once they come back i start all over again! Nd with dat pregnancy I hav to do it all nd still service oga wen he needs it nd most importantly try my utmost best to look good for him...or do I talk abt wen d sick period comes ha, sometimes 2 of them will be sick at d same time..wahala
So its not easy at all, but with time nd enuf patience u learn to live with it!
I respect all full time mothers... It ain't easy...
DeleteWaoh, I can totally relate to all these comments. Stella please do a post where our male SDKers can shed light on why they are like this. It may even be something some women are doing wrong. Biko
ReplyDeleteThere is hard work and there is smart work.
ReplyDeleteGet a washing machine for laundry, a housekeeper for weekly cleaning....
My dh is God sent. He helps me with stuff around the house. Helps clean up in the kitchen when we are done eating or just rubs my back if I do the dishes. Im excitedly waiting for our kids to come cos I know he would be a wonderful dad. God bless you baby
See your mouth like get a machine and professional housekeeper! How many can afford it? Where is the electricity to operate the machine? No child yet and your are talking about working smart and not hard? Women like you makes others don't want to speak the truth! Until the child comes, then you would know how far!
DeleteMy 3 nieces spent their summer in my house..and it was serious work.im single and live with my parents..but the children are first to wake up..once d youngest wakes up(2yrs) she starts crying..then they never agree to eat the same meal, then after eating its to spoil things and fight ..the wahala jst too plenty..after 3weeks i told their mum to cm and carry ha pikin..atleast she don rest small..God give me strength for my own
ReplyDeleteLol@eat the same meal.....
DeleteWhen we were younger, if you don't eat what mummy was preparing, you will starve....my mum made us know she no be bulldozer
Ah! Mrs D children are different these days oh! My sisters kids will tell u what they can eat and what they can't eat. If u like try and force them, when u see them emaciating you will hurriedly give them what they want. Children of these days are very stubborn
DeleteBiko my kids know that once Daddy is not around anything MuMmy makes you eat it happily..Its only hubby that falls my hand.. I will not die bcos I hd kids.. I didn't kill my own mother..
DeleteSeriously! Warrahell! Mtschew, mk dem stubborn pass that, all my children go chop the same thing wey I cook. No time fr iranu at all
Deletenawaooh...all dese mothers are really tryg ooh...abeg make I enjoy my single hood small before marriage and kids comes calling..
ReplyDeleteI think am going to have this problem when I marry. I am used to having washing machine, dish washer ad some little things cose i lived abroad all my life. Fast forward, i am in a marriageable age and dating someone who has never traveled abroad. the problem is that he doesn't understand the concept of having a washing machine in the home.
ReplyDeletei dont blame the person that once said they can never marry someone who has never lived abroad. the difference is tooo much. sigh*
See talk. I've met people who haven't even smelt the airport but are highly enlightened and I've seen people too that lived abroad that still act like bush people. I'm dating one now.
DeleteDump him hun, you will suffer with a typical nigerian man. Honestly I made that mistake and I wish I could turn back time. Typical nigerian men just have a warped mindset.
DeleteI doubt if u really base abroad coz u talk like a bush man/lady.
DeleteAm sure u haven't seen obama in ur life but u know he's US president coz of information.
Think about it. ..
Honey, I see issues. I'm sorry but that's just what I see... You gonna have to over explain plenty plenty things overtime. The Lord is your muscle
Delete@Sue,where exactly are you from that it is a taboo for men to cook?Please i need to know so i can shine my eyes when suitors come knocking!Lol. I really feel for some married women,yes its not easy and i must commend you all. Mumcy will never stop ringing it to my ears that the chores am doing at home is just a tip of the iceberg compare to what awaits me in marriage.God bless my future hubby with enough money so we can atleast get a househelp that will always do the laundry cos na that one tire me pass.
ReplyDeleteGenny baby, I can relate with you.
ReplyDeleteI fix my nails at times but mehnnn they get on the way when am scrubbing or making the beds so I just bite them off..(make the hand free for me to work fast. lol)
and yes...I understand how you an spend all the money on the kids or some necessities for the house without getting yourself anything at the end of the day.
I totally relate. nothing thrills me than seeing my kids looking smart and cute.
lools @ Linda.
ReplyDeletetrue talk. look good that when peeps see you they wonder if truly you've got kids.
I believe in looking hawt in and out. you run into a friend, she says waow! you still look this good after kids??? they somehow she follows you home, she is still thrilled that your home is looking as good as yourself.
ThatsThePizzle!
God bless my husband. He helps wt chores during weekends when he's free,even little things like help clear the dishes after eating every night. Our house is not too big so I can still manage the chores bt there are jst some days you ll feel tired nd angry frm stress. Its not an easy task mehn. God bless all women nd home-makers.
ReplyDeleteHouse chores na 50/50 between me and my hussy...there is no long story for evening service for that one! la fin du histoire!#abroadtinzsha#
ReplyDeleteHummmmm
ReplyDeleteMy husband helps when he wants to.If I too disturb am,he go complain,so I do the ones I can do work jejely.
ReplyDeleteAint waiting for no man.
My sister, God bless you for acknowledging our hardwork. It's easier in Nigeria where you have relatives and domestic helps are very affordable. We in the diaspora are the worst hit. You are the cleaner, the cook, steward, launderer, driver, teacher, mother, wife, etc. I go to parties here and I hardly see people fix artificial nails.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is a very wonderful man, but when it comes to domestic work, he scores zero. He feels bad when I over-work and always says I should employ a helper. When I calculate the amount we will be paying at the end of the day, it discourages me. I have people calling for financial help from all nooks and crannies. The most painful thing is that these people enjoy life more than I do and they hardly appreciate that fact. I work they eat. If they ask and you refuse to give them, they get bitter and forget about all you did for them in the past. Anyway, anything I do for man is for the sake of God. May God give us the strength to carry on.
In fact, I want to come back to Nigeria! Rose
Madam, there times in life where you put yourself first. Leave 'people' oh! Hmmmm.... My folks sacrificed alot for our family for ppl. Today where are those ppl?
DeleteIt's really not easy oh
ReplyDeleteI wake up by 4am everyday cook prepare the kids for school clean do home work infact I can't count. Mother's re really trying it's not easy at all. But wearing nice clothes and makeup is what keeps me going I don't joke with me at all @ Genny baby I used to be like u in shopping for the kids untill I ran out of space to keep them lol!
Women Rock big Time
More strength to our power
Proverbs 31 gives a clear job description of a virtuous woman. Most women don't know why God favours women...we have the grace to do all Stella pin pointed, and MUCH more yet remain DIVALICIOUS!!! it is GRACE. The virtuous woman actually does everything!!!! She is industrious, rich,caring, she nutures, feeds, buys lands, ships e.t.c. Ladies, don't complain. With Grace, it can be done. Our grannies had tons of kids, went to the farm, cooked, and did all they did and died at ripe old ages. We have a lot more that they didn't have. Information, education, e.t.c. Chin up!
ReplyDeleteThe confident woman by joyce meyer made me love & understand dis proverb 31 so well.... God bless all d good women.
Deleteave bn married 4 close to 5yrs n ave 2kids n lived wit 4 of my broda inlaws for dose yrs n i saw hel wen it came to cleanin n cukin. tank God we moved out abt a month ago tinkin my prob don stop. i attend dli unilag n i stay in festac imagine d distance n d stress of receivin lectures frm mony til 6pm. afta doin my mony chores i forgot to warm d fud i prepared nit bfor, i left sch entered serious traffic wey tie wrapper wear trouser ontop, got home tinkin i wil meet d huz clean. wen i entered d parlor d first i asked was wetin una don eat my hubby ordinary indomie, i said d rrice i prepared nko he said he did nt warm it but he remba to cuk him indomie, i just said to myself i don hear am today. i went to d batroom say my son poop in his poo n my dauta scata their place corner, i just confuse. i just sat down on d bed n started cryin inaide me i just told God i nid strength to do al dis work if not i go just vanish. al dis while my hubby was playin wit his computer n he asked me to prepare anoda rice. afta cukin i served d fud oo to con pack plates na work.God gave me strength oo i wash n prepared my kids for bed. oooooo God my hubby wan con chop d oda fud wey dey make dem promise heaven n earth na so fight start i no gree oo. i told him i wil only agree wen he fetches water in d mony until den it is gudnit.
ReplyDeleteu can imagine afta al d wahala he con say make u kerewa no b kil him wan kil me. in btw my hubby can b very helpful once in a month.
anybody tel u say marriage easy na lie b dat.
Hugs huni....
DeleteTo my future wife,fear not cos u will only cook my food
ReplyDeleteWash d plates
Dress d bed
Bear kids
Do d school runs
Go to d market
Cook my food
Take my calls
Scrub my floor
Iron my clothe
Dust d house
And do IT well...
Jst kidding lol
As I type dis,Its 7 pm and i have bathed d girls,given dem dinner and tucked dem in.
ReplyDeleteD process is quite long...dey sing,my nearly 6 year old reads d Bible(d Général said Psalm 50 and 91)
I have bathed d baby too,feeding him now
My day is almost done and i am tired!!!
I have being on school pick up n drop off
Have managed my kids, home front and business
I have à no of domestic staff buh i am Still d centre....i Hold everything together
As I am seated here,i am tired buh fulfilled
I am thankful to God!
Then my Self- Satisfaction kicks into overdrive
Hahahahaha
I think of ma kids n think how lucky dey are to have me...lol
Then i think of d General and think :I have justified all dat ur cash i am burning....LMAO
Buh on a serious note,Mothers rock jare!
Wouldnt trade the Joy in ma kids eyes,the laughter in d General's voice, n the contentment in ma heart and dat my annoying alarm dat shatters my sleep n wakes me up everymorning for all d gold in Saudi Arabia!
Ladies, raise these boys to be self sufficient. The problem with these lazy drones is the fact that you do not task them to do anything. Single ladies, do not marry any lazy man or you will quench. You can tell if your man will show his true colours. If you enter house and he starts slacking off, na lazy man. If he believes a woman should do all the chores...na lazy man. Anyman that says outside work like cutting grass is also chores, I will knock your head. Do you cut grass everyday? No so hold ya mouth.
ReplyDeleteStella, I am a guy and would not agree with your assertion of guys having default mode. I was brought up in a house of 10 kids (5boys and 5 girls) no maid or house help or any name you chose to call it.
ReplyDeleteI learnt everything from cooking to cleaning the house. I am married now tan awesome and hardworking lady who I always love to help round the house from cleaning the house even though we have a help to cleaning my bath tub, washing the toilet and cleaning around my house. I am that way because it is the way I was programmed and tried to change but still cannot.
To me helping your wife is a must and not a choice as you married a wife not a slave even slaves are treated properly by people who have not lost their humanity.
Help your wife!!!
Sometimes I just break down n cry when I get overwhelm by it all. By the way I av just one hyper active son of about 7months that can be so fussy n cranky always clingy, refuse to play on his own. I have to carry him all the time to de xtent dat I carry him into the toilet just for me to pooh etc. I appreciate my mum more now
ReplyDeleteThank God for hubby o,got married five months ago..hubby is super lazy,we have a cleaner that comes in weekend to clean the house.i can't drain myself with house work o.
ReplyDeleteIn my house it's 50/50 with household chores. Ladies choose your life partner wisely, no need to rush into a lifetime of misery. With the right man, marriage is too sweet.
ReplyDeleteI have an aunt who is a wife of all wives. She would get up from 4am to clean up the house, then cook her husband breakfast and lunch because he only eat certain things..lol, then she would prepare her grandchild, then take her shower and off to work. I honestly never heard her complain, but I couldn't do it, get up out of my warm bed from 4am to take care of a man, and not even one that is deserving of her dedicated labour, and she still get cheated on with all of that..I can't.
ReplyDeleteThe one thing I wonder if I can honestly handle in marriage is having to speak to this person every single day, having to listen to their thoughts and opinions, care and support them emotionally as they need it. It seems exhausting af to be so mentally linked to someone else and you have to be ready and willing to act like you care even if you don't give a rat's ass.
African women are insatiable, u can't please them, I don't know the big deal in washing and keeping the house clean.
ReplyDeleteSome people are talking as if they leave in the dustbin.
Am a man, I wash my clothes, clean my house and cook at least 1nce a day coz I dnt eat outside, in fact I still go for lectures without missing any.
When a topic arises on men who can't provide at home u hear diff Bible quotes where he call them infidels.
Men would work every day to provide for the family, house bills, sch fees, etc and u still expect him to come home and wash plates for you.
This poster is a very lazy type, if u go into marriage with that mentality u might b on ur way out soon.
Even if u dnt ve a fiance won't u take care of ur own self?
Am not saying men should leave their wives to all chores but women should see it as their own duty ad men r suppose to be the bread winner.
PEACE OUT JARE...
Shatap there! How many men take care of the children? Combined with other chores?When the woman begins to age before her time, you men would have affair outside comparing your wives with Mistresses who take care of only themselves! Many women work and pay all these bills you mentioned! Can that be compared to physical exhaustion of looking after another human being? Washing the whole family clothes with hands, cooking 3x a day, cleaning after children while you men hang out with your friends at beer parlor or watching TV!!!!!!!!!! Mschew!
DeleteAbeg park....
DeleteMost women still work 8-6 and come home to "mummy this, mummy that", she's still expected to enter the kitchen and cook, play with the kids and help with homework, then tidy the house.
The man struts in from an 8-6 job and haves his bath, dinner, watches TV, still expects that woman to listen to his office tales and service his junior....
U go for lectures baa? You might be an undergraduate. Wait till you are mature and are married with kids, then come back here.
You think taking care of yourself is same thing as taking care of your kids. I'm up at 2:40am now because baby is up and has just been fed, yet his dad is in the room snoring away. I still have to be at work by 8....
@bread winner and women's duty, don't enter a marriage with that mentality if not you might get frustrated...
PEACE OUT...
Dont mind them jare.......
DeleteOrdinary washing,,cleaning,cooking,fucking,shopping,tending to sick child)ren,homework for kids,fighting inlaws...sidechicks,treating stds..ete...etc. ...
Wait!d woman contributes too to d upkeep of d family.....she goes to work too..what does d man do apart from nagging,chasing skirts even though he no sabi do d thing.
He throws tantrums to hide his inadequacies,he bullies her to conceal d fact that he is a half male and does not ve d wherewithal to ferd his family.
I dont like skin pain,there really isn't any reward for long suffering so what d HELL!!mumyfy and mugulify him so u can take ur place among d wise wives.
Wow! Speechless. Bless women abeg.
ReplyDeleteLord please give me a good husband and children that will not stress me. I no fit shout!
Yinmu*
DeleteAs old as u are dem price u????
Siddon they wait shogbo.
U no fine,no money,sense u no get...how can u attract a "good" man.
Oloriburuku agbaya ti o ni ironu.
@ Ezewanyi ; Oh no you di-int!!! Lol! I thought you promised to gnaw with mercy! This was an unprovoked attack, honey bunny, so where do I send your spanking to? Btw, Beautiful and gifted is a pretty girl. I know you're just being naughty.
DeleteUnprovoked????
DeleteThis beach cussed me out on earlier post.
Ugly and cursed is embarrassingly ugly and that's y she is atill single with no suitor in sight.
to be a woman is not easy, wit three kids no househelp, no relative n a lazzy hubby am just tire, i cried no answer some time i feel like runing away but i can't live my three adorables. I wake up frm 4am prepared de kids for schl n DH will be snoring by dat tym. I pray God to give me more grace, but am happy dat am not alone in dis boat. Oh dear mom wia ever u r i appreciate u more now. Aunty staller i Love u n dis wonderful family e hugs
ReplyDeleteto be a woman is not easy, wit three kids no househelp, no relative n a lazzy hubby am just tire, i cried no answer some time i feel like runing away but i can't live my three adorables. I wake up frm 4am prepared de kids for schl n DH will be snoring by dat tym. I pray God to give me more grace, but am happy dat am not alone in dis boat. Oh dear mom wia ever u r i appreciate u more now. Aunty staller i Love u n dis wonderful family e hugs
ReplyDeleteto be a woman is not easy, wit three kids no househelp, no relative n a lazzy hubby am just tire, i cried no answer some time i feel like runing away but i can't live my three adorables. I wake up frm 4am prepared de kids for schl n DH will be snoring by dat tym. I pray God to give me more grace, but am happy dat am not alone in dis boat. Oh dear mom wia ever u r i appreciate u more now. Aunty staller i Love u n dis wonderful family e hugs
ReplyDeleteto be a woman is not easy, wit three kids no househelp, no relative n a lazzy hubby am just tire, i cried no answer some time i feel like runing away but i can't live my three adorables. I wake up frm 4am prepared de kids for schl n DH will be snoring by dat tym. I pray God to give me more grace, but am happy dat am not alone in dis boat. Oh dear mom wia ever u r i appreciate u more now. Aunty staller i Love u n dis wonderful family e hugs
ReplyDeleteWow! Real housewives of SDKB! You guys rock! Infact,you deserve a weekly segment! Very interesting thought provoking read! Great job Mrs blognalist!
ReplyDeleteBitch!!!!! Why won't your ugly ass post my fine comments.
ReplyDeleteDon't be selfish. Share my compliments with the world.
LWKMD!!!
My own husband would rather kneel down under the sun and fly his hands than clear his plates after eating talkless of helping out with chores. He was brought up that way. But when he realised that all the chores, baby caring and my 8 - 6 job were making me too tired to be his in-house whore he happily suggested that we employ a nanny for the kids. It was God's grace!
ReplyDeleteSome of you talking like you give the ppl money to put aside for getting a maid. Not every person has the means to hire help, and not every person desire to exploit young children and enslave them. Just because many of you go to the village and grab a clueless 13yr old to bring back and use them mercilessly as a maid doe snot mean everybody desires to do the same.
ReplyDelete