Why do women look for problems where there is none?
Or do we say to be forewarned is to be fore-armed?
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
SHOULD A SPOUSE HAVE FRIENDS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX?
Dear Stella,
I commend you for the excellent job you're doing via your blog. You are the best I've seen yet.
I've been married to a very good man for over two years now and I can boldly say I married my best friend, with whom I have been enjoying marital bliss. And we've been living together until three months ago when I had to go stay with my mum cos of pregnancy stress.
He calls me all the time, we WhatsApp and BBM all the time too so i didn't have any reason to be suspicious but I became worried when he came to see me last week and I overheard a phone conversation between him and a lady. And because the conversation was really personal, my alert antenna was raised and being the 'journalist' that I am, I decided to probe.
He told me that I had nothing to worry about cos the lady in question is an old friend whom he ran into and that they never dated and don't have plans to do so now. He even went ahead to say, "is it not better for me to have a female friend from my past whom terms have been defined as platonic than to have a new female friend who would be expecting much more from me"? (In my opinion, does a married man need to even have a female friend, be it platonic?
Is it not better to avoid certain temptations? And I know I'm not being selfish! I'm only being protective of what is rightfully mine.
He even showed me their chats just to prove to me that there's nothing between them. And he said that he will introduce us so that we can be friends. (Hmmm... as if I've not seen where some "friends" will be fucking your man and still keep a straight face without any form of guilt).
Stella, I am worried because they are in the same town and I'm not there at the moment . I am worried because they are in constant communication. I'm worried cos I know if one spends time with a particular someone quite often, emotions could rupture. And what if hubby gets lonely and gives in to this "friendship" and they become more than just friends? (One can't really trust men you know)
Dear Stella and BVS, Is there a possibility that there could be more going on than my hubby told me? I'm thinking too much, please help!
Thanks.
*From the way you are going you will soon develop high blood pressure.Please face your pregnancy and carry your baby to full term..that is all the advice I have for you because if he is already dating her,what will you do?Try to get him to visit you more often though.
Your man is faithful to a reasonable extent, do not allow your inquisitiveness drive u crazy. I bet if you snoop too much, you'll definitely see irrelevant evidences which in the actual sense doesn't mean you hubby is cheating.
If you're not comfortable, go back to your husband's house and tend to his emotional needs or stay there and breathe, take care of yourself please. This your overthinking is not good for your condition biko!
Hmmmm, I read this somewhere on my pc but had to settle down to comment, this poster must be my sister, my husband has female close friends, d thing tire me. He was a bachelor for too long but what is with all d women always chatting with him, even his friends wives, old single women, young, inshort I don talk tire. I even plan to reply one who lost her husband in march, she would wake uop and greet him, later tell him how her day was and later ask how his was, one time she travelled with her kids, she was sending him pics. He's really nice and solves people's problems but I can never be comfortable with all these. He says there's no basis for comparison cos I'm his wive that he loves and married. And there's nothing between them, I tell him there's an emotional relationship, if he doesn't mean it, d women might
BLOG ANALYSER: I don't see why you should be staying with ur mum just because u are preggo. What happened to allowing an elderly woman to come and help you out with house choires or geting his own relation to help u out until you put to bed. Then the person can leave. I don't think there is any cause for alarm except there is more to the story. Then if u were in my shoes u would have developed heart attack by now. My hubby is a very social man. He makes friends and with the kind of business he does he makes friends on a daily bases. Some even walk up to him and tell him that they love his dress bfore u know it he is already designing for their relations or boyfriends. I don't allow his discussion with such people to affect me coz these people are ordinary or platonic friends and again I watch to see if the discussion is going south. I have some friends too bt very few from my masters degree class and we just discuss ordinary things. No marital issues or love related. More importantly I don't confide in any of them except my hubby. Learn not to worry, if u start nagging him abt it. It might end up being the cause of ur marital issues. Concentrate on ur unborn baby.Don't forget to always commit ur marriage in God's hand. Tell God this " bind us in your love, understanding, humility and respect in Jesus name Amen. U shall deliver like the hebrew women.Amen,Cheers
I personally hate the idea of my husband keeping female friends, there is one my husband is currently keeping, I know deep down he doesnt have anything to do with her but I dont like their closeness he helps her do stuff she confides in him, I have spoken to him on it he reasurres me there is nothing what will I do but pray quarrelling might encourage him to be secretive... Abeg I no know any suggestions. Why will a single girl keep a married man as a friend beats me cos I never did when I was single
We became good friends when she arrived. She was a nice girl. She's got brains, too. Infact, I liked her very much. One day, I paid my man a visit. While I was playing with his phone, he received a text message from the girl. Out of curiosity, I opened it, what I read my eyes couldn't believe. Inshort, he had started "shagging" her. I didn't believe the girl was capable of committing sin....lol. A sweet, kind-hearted girl with an innocent look?...hian.
I repeat, madam, DO NOT allow such o, before your husband go start to dey seek "unholy help" o...hmmm! Most of the time it doesn't turn out well, trust me. You, ma'am, should be your husband's all-in-all.
Madam worry worry...are we d ones to tell u if he's gonna cheat on u or not? how are we to knw d answer to ur question? All I'd say is that focus on ur pregnancy and pray against any strange woman. Like Stella said, visit hubby more often if u r in doubt.
Why are u in different towns sef? What if u have no family to spend time with would u not stay at home with hubby? I don't understand the need to stay away from home cos u pregnant, pregnancy is not disability my friend. Except there's more to it that u haven't explained. Anyhow, as per the chic, look ehn, a man will do whatever he wants to do whether u are aware or not. The point here is that u do not trust ur hubby, and perhaps of u were home u would still be worried regardless. So it's not about being tempted. Believe him for now if he says it's nothing, but be very alert. That's all.
Madam stellina u took d words outta my mouth. ... madam poster not dat is bad for u to protect wat is urs but dew to ur condition now I think u should lie low but be observant....ur health is more important dan any man be it ur hubby or whatever.
Then go back home. Hian..pregnancy alone you are living with ur mum, wen you deliver nko truck go kukuma pack ur loads to ur parents house. Biko go back home and watch ur man if u r scared.
Viva shut your stupid mouth....if she had a difficult pregnancy and it's only her and hubby at home y not? Cos u have not experienced something u are just quick to vomit rubbish as if others are stupid...single foolish girls that will be vomiting rubbish till they marry and see reality.....mschweeeeeew
I don't see anything wrong in him having a female friend. You might be the one putting silly thoughts in his mind If u re not comfortable pack ur load and go back home. Why do people leave their HOMES to go to their parents still can't phantom
Well, i have veery close male friends that would remain my friends even when we all get married. In fact the plan we have is that our spouses just have to be friends with them cos we are siblings not just friends. But yours is a different case. If your husband is your friend, pour out your heart to him and tell him your fears. Am not so comfortable with the setup. It can escalate into sumfin else and your not even around him. Tell him you don't want them to be close friends. And den scatter dem in prayer. Hian!! You cannot stay inside water and soap would enter your eyes. Lol...be sensitive and observant. extra marital look unharmful initially. And den relax for the sake of your baby. And den talk to God about it. Love.
1000 likes...Prayer works! I am a testimony.. ladies forming relationship not harmful. Once I sense in my spirit that it's not a good friendship I go on my knees and pray. Suddenly DH will tell me he's not interested in such lady's friendship...I smile and thank God Gleefully *no be ma fault oo seriously safeguarding mine * Dear poster let go, Let God. The kings heart is in his hands. Trust him to do that which will favour you. Thses gals aren't smiling lately jare *sigh*
@Rockstar. . See painment!!! I forgive you for calling such a derogatory term! In my life I only had one sex partner and that's my hubby... I am married doesn't mean I don't have friends as male. You need Jesus you this bitter soul!!! I am on my way to minister and you just upset me with this insult. I refuse to curse you with my mouth because if I do heaven obeys!!! Be careful who you choose to fight! *God bless you*
Crush Alert!!! Kehinde Ake.. e be like say you get secret crush on Sdk blog..lolzz #straight face. No fear @Rockstar... I am not interested in Kehinde for the records!! We are a family on this blog. *am out*
Madam go back to your house. Don't be sleeping on a bicycle. Emotional cheating is worse. Sure he can have casual female friends emphasis on casual not one that they will be chatting everytime. One chance. Pack your load and go home. You say he is your best friend so ensure that you are his best friend. I repeat again, go home.
A married man is not meant to have any close female friend....his excuse doesn't hold water and he may actually be dating her or trying to start something.......but from experience just don't bother yourself, keep him close and get him to visit often till u go back home.....you are pregnant think of yourself and baby so u don't have high BP...women have strong instincts and if u suspect that means something might be wrong but like I said don't bother.......just pray and do your part as a wife....
What do u mean a married man is nt supposed to av female friends?were there nt female friends befor he got married?poster biko pray abt it....is it becos he tld u,wat of d ones u dnt know?if u nt comfy pls go back to ur house.
Mzjay your foolishness didn't allow u see the word close abi.......is he an island that he will not have female friends? But a married man or woman should not have close friends of the opposite sex......if the conversation she heard was innocent do u think she will be worried? Ple just open their mouths and vomit rubbish.....so a married woman must never travel and leave her house for fear the hubby will cheat? Did she say she was staying at her mums for the duration of the pregnancy? I believe not.....Marriage is not bondage, and am sure if her mum could come to her she would have..men should learn to be disciplined and stop giving all the work to maintain fidelity in marriage to the women.....
Actually its good your at alert, because from casual talk, it will graduate to emotional talk. But not withstanding, you are being too worried, don't give yourself HBP. Just let your guard be up and stop thinking too much.
Kai u have time. Instead of u to concentrate on ur pregnancy. Take this from me. Ive been married 15yrs. If a man wants to F around he will do it wether u protest or not. Besides save all thia fight for when u actually have proof. Good luck sha. Seems u r bored. The belle no do u
People are somehow o. Like twisted or something. See the way you are talking as if pregnancy is a job. As if someone that is pregnant will no longer experience anything. Abegi... My husband always says that too much freedom is not good for anyone. How can she focus on her pregnancy when she is worried sick.
Poster abeg its not allowed. Thank God he is your friend. Please go back home. I can assure you that men can be solo naive but the woman is d one to watch out for. With led women. Please go home and end that relationship even if you have to be manipulative about it.
Its actually easier to cheat with someone from d past.
What's keeping you from going back home? Which kin pregnancy stress be that abeg? What if you lived in a different country from your mama you no go stay put? Out of sight they say...... Na you know!!
Wetin you want us to tell you that you don't know? Stella and her BV haf suffered! Every little thing Stella!! MchewWwww
Biko nwa baby, if you are now well from your early preggy wahala pack your bag and go back to your Hubby so you don't develop HBP!! Ejim chukwu ayo gi biko...journalist detective Okoro, stop probing your hubby ooo allow the young man to be. Stop putting ideas into him maka onye kpatara nku ahuhu si ngwere biara oriri. Unless you have a sugardaddy,boyfriend or sugarson apart from your hubby that gives you the impression that everybody is the same. A man that you never have a cause to suspect is the one you are almost accusing!! Umunwanyi werenu ya nwayo ka ofe ruroro zuru Unu nri.
Which kind platonic rlshp be dt, pls make sure u end that friendship between them but with a gentle approach cos ladies this days can be something else especially the single old desperate ones, they are always gentle as a dove but can sting like a scorpion. Btw, wot are u doing in ur mothers house, cnt u return to ur husband's house n take care of ur home before person borrow ur rest turn am to sleep abi na only u don dey preggy before?
Ehee on another note, any known blog visitor who v not been commenting since the begining of this year will be erased from our register by xmas(as in buried) Signed by Sdk blog funeral manager Queenamy
Dear poster, I understand your worries and you are not over reacting. However if this friendship bothers you so much as I understand, then you have to tell your husband to limit communications with her to the barest minimum. Make it clear to him that you are not comfortable with their friendship. If he really loves and cares about you, he will respect your feelings and act accordingly. Hopefully if he complies, the friendship will die a natural death. That is if nothing is truly going on between them. Telling him to cut communications entirely with her might make it seem as if you are bossing him around. But I will also advice you to try and get to know this lady. It's sometimes good to keep your "enemies" close.
Take good care of you and enjoy your pregnancy. All the best.
Getting close to d lady won't change anything if she's interested in sleeping wit her hubby, it will only make it very easy and unsuspiscous. And telling her hubby to minimize communication will only make him very careful if he has interest in d lady. Poster wouldn't see any proof, am telling you.
Go home to your hubby if you don't trust him and his 'friend'. Do not give any impression that you're coming home cos of your fears. Then watch things unfold. And like I said earlier, u don't need this at all. Take care of yourself and give this a breather for now, something tells me your hubby isn't cheating, don't push him...
Thanks Stella for sharing my story. You're a darling! Thank you BVs for the comments; some made me more alarmed! And want to just go back home this morning. Lol. But some helped to calm my nerves instead. In all I appreciate all.
For those saying I should go back home; It would have been the best option all things being equal but they are not: I can relate with the story of the woman with severe morning sickness that Stella posted yesterday. Some people have it really easy during pregnancies but some don't. In fact my first pregnancy was very easy, I was even working in the bank then and I had no issues but this one is different. In fact I was so sick I couldn't help myself in anyway and my hubby would drive 40 minutes to and fro in between work hours to come and take care of me before going back. And his job was beginning to suffer hence the decision to go stay with my mum. And my mum is working so she can't come live with me. So una see where dey wahala dey?
But we women get wahala o. So he shouldn't have female friends because he is married. Babe, even if he is doing things with her he will never tell you. So be calm and take him for his words that he is not doing anything with her, period.
Miss ess you really need to grow up cos your comments are always childish......so in your small mind u think it's just about having normal female friends? Any fool knows that is impossible but from what she heard if u are mature u should know u don't keep such close friendship....learn to process your thoughts before typing....
Noooooooooooooooooo... Why should my husband keep a female friend??..mbanu,odiro possible... Wetin dem dey discuss??.. Will he be comfortable if I am the one communicating with my male old friends?.. Poster,nkwucha aburo ujo biko..you better go back to your home... Very soon,she will start introducing him to her friends... Oriegwu!!..
Nwoke na nwanyi ejila akpa ori..This is an Igbo saying! Can someone translate for the distressed poster.lol
I bet you missus..your instinct is on the money..as long as you are uncomfortable...it has to stop!
Follow your heart..maybe they have not started anything yet..but it will not end in your favour!
Are they business partners? Praying partners? Is she hiss shrink? His cheerleader? Companion?
Exactly what do they have in common that they talk exclusively on the phone and even CHAT, I guess,cradling the phone and grinning from ear to ear?
It starts from: oh let's have a drink to catch up! Wifey is not in town and am bored! Eya how are you coping with your wife not around!
The old friends are the sneaky ones,they know the person's weak point and use it to their advantage..crack jokes and laugh forever,tickling each other....Men don't see it coming like we do,or maybe they just pretend. Lol,Who has seen "Baggage Claim"-Paula Patton?
Biko I pledged to be my husband's bestie and I his....If you can't be our family friend with your husband in tow..nne forgerit!
This Linda go kill person with laff ,friend from the past all of a sudden? Be vigilant, na so e dey start, married men don't cheat with their enemies.
Go back to your home,let your husband feel what you are going through, it is important you guys go through this phase together, cry, wake him up at night to massage your back,after all you are friends?? cheers.
Hmm poster pack ur load nd vamose to ur house.all of una wey dey tell him to limit his commtn wit her or make friends wit her dat will nt stop d man frm doin wat he wants..aah babe let ur mother come nd stay wit u nt d other way round...God forbid if ur mama no dey alive nko u no go born..biko like queen said nkwucha aburo njo..babes r despirate...men dey cheat wen dy r in d same house wit dir spouse talk less of in dir absence...go home ooh....
100 likes for this your correct comment.best advice the next time he comes tell him you will like to say hello to her on phone just as a friend as well.
Miss Esss there s nofin like we women like wahala abeg. Wit single girls u cant b too sure. Besides ur hubby mite not want to have anything to do wit ha but we women eh, mba. You have to go back to ur hubby's house for d time being to show ur presence n make sure u know dis lady. Use some female celebrities as a reference point. Married men aint off d hook o, single desperate ladies dont giv a damn so protect your own in anyway you can cos ur hubby wouldnt want u to have a male friend u chat wit n call even though its platonic. A word they say.... #PreciousIbik
Stella Dimokorkus,chop knuckle!nice response.Dear poster,take am easy bikonu.your man seems to be a discipline man.There is absolutely nothin to be worried about.
Do not trust your husband totally. Chatting with an old female friend? what will they be talking about? Madam,you have every right to worry but do not over stress it,just play cool, give him a broad smile always but still be watchful.*where are the razz laughing smellos always going after people's comment?do not pass this one by.
Poster, please just concentrate on ur baby. Same thing happened to me too. My hubby had an "old friend" that re-surfaced when I was away pregnant. A married woman at that. She also wanted to be my "friend". People wicked o! If you suspect him, then ur probably on to something. But face ur baby for now. And I advise you to ask your hubby to introduce u guys. That would make them let their guard down and expose themselves if there's anything to hide. That's what I did and it worked big time! Good luck with ur pregnancy
Poster y not concentrate on having ur baby first. The relationship might have no strings attached. If u r so uncomfortable about it, u can move back to ur house with ur hubby. However, that is no guarantee that he will stop cheating on u assuming he is already doing that.
....is your pregnancy that serious that you have to go home to mum?..My husband tells me and I quote " there is nothing like a friend of the opposite sex when you're married, period"....So girl, be wise!
My boyfriend is not permitted to have female friends. All the ones he had before he met me, oh well! All the ones he had before he met me, oh well! He told them his girlfriend doesn't allow female friends and that's that. Imagine when we get married...he cannot have females friends, period! A married man should not have female friends, end of story.
Your husband might not have the intention of dating her but you can never be too sure of the lady's intention. Please you need to discourage him and put an end to that friendship. Too many desperate girls out there. She could even befriend just to make you trust her and relax your guard. But you'll be surprised when she'll finally struck. Please put an end to their friendship unless she's also married and she introduce her husband to you and your husband and you all can become family friends. But anything outside is a risk I won't advice you to take. Don't concentrate on your pregnancy and ignore your marriage like some people are saying, cos it might be too late after your delivery.
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said... . I really cant encourage a married man to have any female frnd of any sought bcos i cant see why he should..... But madam make high blood pressure no catch up with yu shah...... . . ***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
When there are no problems, women look for one by all means.
Why are you in your parent's house? The pregnancy doesn't seem to be stressful if you are worrying about something you have no control of. So return to your own home to monitor your husband. Just be careful not to put your pregnancy in danger.
I have close male friends. In fact before marriage I had more male friends than female. But then I realised that it's hard to have platonic relationship with the opposite sex. Right now I have narrowed them down to just 3. One of whom is a 60year old grandpa. And the other is my ex. They have all crossed the line at different times but the only thing that stopped it is because I stood my grounds. If I was interested in such we would have gone far but I can never cheat on my husband. The 60year old grandpa has taught me so much in business in fact he made me realise the truth about the saying that what an elder sees while sitting a child cannot see even if he climbs an iroko tree. He is always quick to point my mistakes. As for my ex no one listens to my rants like him. Once I'm filled with so much anger that I just need to vent walahi he's the best person for me to call. God bless his good heart. He's married now and I'm friends with the wife also. I wonder how she feels sef because most times we talk at length. He would even pass the phone to her at some point and we would continue. And my third bestie is for gists sake especially if I want to laugh and gossip. He is married too. As for my husband I'm his all time buddy and even his drinking paddy I make sure there ain't space for another. Before you say hi hello buddy your contacts will go missing from his phone.
I am not here to say whether he has something to do wit dis lady or not...i am no Nwa Dibia...
Buh here it goes...if dis ish bothers u Soo much,just tell him to stop!
Wonder why he has to wait for u to tell him to stop sef seeing dat it bothers u...
And Yea,i dont even see why he should be having à "platonic" relationship wit à lady.no be say dem be colleagues and especially When u are obviously not comfortable wit it.
"U had to go stay wit ur mum cos of pregnancy stress" so make pple wey no get mum die na abi? Eehee na, somebody wil stil go and takecare of ur husband until wen u come back. Remember dis, "vein dnt knw his blood sister oo". U beta go back to ur house before chi ewere ehihe jie.
Poster I will advise you to either get closer to this female friend and make her your own friend. Give her close marking friendship that she will nit have room to start anything with your husband. In the other hand,go home and tell your mum to come and stay with you. If you are home, your husband will be too occupy with you to even think of scheduling things with her. So my dear make your choice o.
What r u doing in ur mum's house? Did u say pregnancy?? U need ur hubby now more than ur mum, ur mum can only advise u on certain things. Who cooks 4 ur hubby? Who keeps him company on cold nights? My dear ur condition is not enough reason to move 2 ur mum's, neither is it enough 2 paralyze ur duty as a wife. Thou u r not expected 2 do all, but few is more than enough to keep d fire burning. Run back 2 ur house asap, unless u want 2 go back and meet another woman taking full care of ur duty. Keep a close eyes on him cos something is happening. Take a second to pulse and think. 1. She's a lady 2. An old friend 3. Must be age group, or no much age gap 4. Ur hubby being d guy is married, and she's not? 5. Might be a desperate type 6. May be playing along 2 convince u, till she gets to d part where she 'll tell u herself 'she here 2 stay 7. Doesn't know u yet and u thinks she cares about u? 8. Pick race back 2 ur house 4 ur own gud. 9.U can invite ur mum over, if u need her so much.
Madam poster Nawa for you oo, what kind of pregnancy stress wld make you go and stay with your mum instead of hubby? Abeg he supposed to kw the pains you ar going thru, Bkos to me this is when you need hubby most, this is when he shld show you more love, bath you, cook for you and feed you. I could remember the period I was having constant back ache, my hubby will masg me pray for me and cuddle me to sleep, Infact I enjoyed being pregnant for hubby even tho it wasn't easy but with him I felt much good . That was how my he catapulted me to my mum all in the name of he wants my mum to take care of me better @ the initial stage , mum looked and told me that if I don't go back to my hubby and he misbehave as men do when their wife ar far from them i should not complain to her oo. That was how I quickly return to hubby. So pack your load and go and stay with your husband and not your mum bkos men are weaker than we women. That's all I have to say. God bless
How many of these so called female friends will u get worried abt? Men are like that, even if u return home , there are other ways they will communicate & u won't know. Worry less, ignore distractions & face ur home. Wish u safe delivery
Men chances of cheating increases when d woman gets preggy, & leaving d house for him is like adding fuel 2 fire. U chat over d phone? No amount of chatting over d phone 'll be compared 2 looking at yourselves while chatting or just sitting together. 2ndly, another lady is at d corner playing d fool while u r being fooled. Go back 2 ur house now, d least u can do if u so want ur mum around is to invite her 2 ur house, either occasionally or regularly. It 'll only costs u money, it's better u lose money than ur home. Go and possess ur possession.
Hmmmm, I read this somewhere on my pc but had to settle down to comment, this poster must be my sister, my husband has female close friends, d thing tire me. He was a bachelor for too long but what is with all d women always chatting with him, even his friends wives, old single women, young, inshort I don talk tire. I even plan to reply one who lost her husband in march, she would wake uop and greet him, later tell him how her day was and later ask how his was, one time she travelled with her kids, she was sending him pics. He's really nice and solves people's problems but I can never be comfortable with all these. He says there's no basis for comparison cos I'm his wive that he loves and married. And there's nothing between them, I tell him there's an emotional relationship, if he doesn't mean it, d women might
Lol, it was your kind of woman that came to harass and accuse me in my father's compound that I am fucking/ having an affair with her husband,the .She said that every time her husband comes my country of residence, I'm his call girl (LOL).This was about 6 months ago when I visited Nig oo, mistcheww. Yes her husband and I are very close but we keep it very professional and platonic and since the woman came to harass me, anytime I talk to her husband or I see him when he comes over for business, he will say things like "we should kukuma have the affair maybe she would be satisfied that her instincts were right" and I know he is seriously thinking on that line.My friend even said that if it were her she would have started the affair gan,me no get time for that my doctorate is long over due.
Madam Long story short, you better keep your pants on and dont wee wee on your body,mstcheww!! You will now put the idea of an affair that wasnt even there before.I thought you married your best friend, how come you dont trust him just this few weeks you are away, biko calm down!! Have your baby in peace! All this married women sef, Im sure you have probably dated all the married men you were friends with when you were single that's why a simple conversation and chat is driving you off the cliff. Abeg im getting annoyed sef as im remembering, keep on disturbing him oo, you will finally find what you are looking for. mistcheww!
Idiot cheap slut....Buchhi, am positive ur mother is/was a slut datz y she can not school you on keeping a married man as a friend.....I hope you never get married cos if u do, your eyes go see correct pepper....Dirty thing....And I know you....You live in Aberdeen....Dwarf.
Yeye. Don't worry yours is coming. Loool. Anu mpama. What are u feeling like. Have d affair na. Lol. Mtsheeeew. No be person go tell you. Whatever you sow so shall you reap. And from the look of it you are already going to get married late.
And please it has nothing to do sleeping with married men anu ofia. I married my husband a virgin and I would never take such shit. He sef no go try am. And if he does, I will fix d lady up. Rubbish. If acid was poured on you when u weren't even fucking d man. Maybe you would be making a different comment.
Eze Nwanyi I bu Afo anu, Ike nsi, Shameless gutter thing....To think you are a mother....I am very certain you have been boinking ur daughter's hubby....Ezi ofia....Ikpu nkita di Ka gi....Onye ala....One day, d jazz u have working for you will expire....God is d ultimate....Shameless wife and mother.
Madam...pls face ur pregnancy. That shd be d main thing on ur mind now. It's possible that their friendship is platonic. So just lay low and observe. Continue to be a good wife...don't make an issue out of it if u don't have proof! face ur pregnancy!!
Call me old school, I don't freaking care! I believe a MARRIED MAN has no freaking business having females as friends.
If their communication is strictly on a business or professional level, that's understandable but to go further is inviting FIRE!
Platonic friendship indeed! If only men would listen and act accordingly. Ladies aren't smiling these days.
My dear, act with wisdom and fire prayer join. You have to guide your territory against invasion! Also, move back home! Your mother's isn't yours. Go back to yours!
U guys shld pls get real jor...so because he,s married he shld,nt hv female frnds?for real?na robot?..sweety I understand ur fears but pls calm down n take him 4 his words...if u,re still not comfortable then tell him how u feel but babe try and relax small sha..remember u,re pregnant...i,ve been married for 7yrs now and trust me wen I say communication is key...tell him ur concerns..pray,play ur role as a wife and take him 4 his words till u have real proof to doubt...u just might be worried 4 nothing...choose ur battles wisely...
Madam run back to your home. Your husband impregnated you so the two of you are supposed to deal with the stress! What is wrong with some of you??!! Your instinct is telling you something is going on so definitely something is going on ! Ha! Some women ehn!
My dear hurry back to ur home, ur mum cant do it beta dan a doctor!! I dont joke with my insticts dou and in this case, u might/not be right!! A married man/ woman shouldnt kip a close opposite sex, its harmful! Every other friendshp is outta to be casual!!!!
First and foremost relax and take it easy,coz anything u go thru in pregnancy d baby feels.guess we want a perfect baby don't we?
Also note this is one of the many situations u will come across now during marriage ,coz it's a life time relationship.how u handle it now with peace Of mind shows how will handle others.
So once more relax,in relationship such happens coz we are human first be it both sexes,we get bored and tend to b adventurous.its good u re alert but use wisdom as well.
Instead of u going suspicious try to make reasonable conversation about d lady with ur hubby,chec for signals and talk maturedly.
Will use my self as an example.permit me to say most ladies that get married to good men as in good in all sense face this,coz d lady friend knows they're. she must have been thru hell with other men hence she tends to emotionally settle for a man who knows d right words to tell even if he is married
Back to my gist,there was this colleague of my hubby ,they actually sit together (didn't know at first) suddenly my hubby keeps talking about her and her opinions,guess what she was divorced. Note.my hubby hates d idea of divorce and usually says a marriage doesn't have to end in divorce that it can savaged except for infidelity issues,now he supports her for divorcing d hubby that based on d story she tells hubby deserves it.
I was shocked that my hubby Mr perfect could say this(emotional friendship) funny enough d third guy sitting with them always condemns d idea and i was surprised he supports her.
Anyways they organised xmas party and we had to go.meanwhile i never argued with him about her,kept asking gist about situations.the three of them go for lunch together so i knew they were quite close,anything can happen.got my information about her already all that was set was to put a face to her data.
Lo and behold she was pretty for her age,one won't belive she has a teenager as a daughter,just my hubbys specs, i was like h.mn h.mn, no wonder she could fill d gap when i wasn't there.
Was ready to pic convo with hubby and pic a fight,doh she couldn't hide her surprise that i was younger and pretty,she even said so,but d spirit told me to cool down.didn't even know i was pregg as at then,found out d same weekend .
I jus mellowed may b i would have lost d baby if i was too stressed. My spirit told me to pray,coz i trust my hubby but feared for what could happen.i travelled for xmas with my boys worried that we won't be together anything can happen.
Hmn,i prayed o,just that week,hubby came to join us guess what,he said they have separated them that order from above to move there department,i prayed laughed inwards with so much joy,he wasn't aware of my battle alone i won and conquered. Believe me that was the end of their close friendship,coz they never have time to see each other as they re on diff floors.
Upon resumption no mention of d particular name again.can u see how God does things talk to him alone and he will settle it,enjoy ur pregnancy,remind him of d good man he is always,rubb his ego well,and how he wants to keep his home,trust me if he is d good man u said he is?he will think twice,don't start what u can't finish.
Never pic a fight because of d lady instead chat with him sop can be well informed and use it in d place of prayer.hope i was able to pass d message across?do not mind my epistle God bless.
So, where is narrative two huh?...mm In another news,I kinda dnt understand dat msg hot ice's Ada wrote...are they lesbians or juz frnds?...*bbmConfusedface*
I wouldn't say your concerns are baseless. I really don't like it when a wife leaves her "nest", unless it's unavoidable. Your hubby may have harmless intentions but, never underestimate the power of closeness. A lot of men are now married to their "platonic" female friends, whom were initially chat buddies. As a matter of fact, some of the best lovers today didn't have any attraction to each other initially but as time went bye, strong feelings developed. Some even broke off the relationships their had, at the time, to start afresh with the newly found love.
There are various schools of thought on this idea but, I'm of the opinion that married people should be weary of keeping friends of the opposite sex. I'm not saying once you get married you should become a hermit, be cordial but avoid being close to a particular friend. Friendships easily progress into intimacy especially with the opposite sex.
As for you, my sweet, try not to get yourself worked up because of the pregnancy. I'll suggest you return home to your man, if possible. I know being with a man may not prevent him cheating but, God forbid he does, you won't feel like your absence aided and abated his infidelity. I know for a fact that being around a man who adores you, is healthy and can curb the urge to cheat.
Most of you are married to children. See married women shouting, go and monitor, men are weak. Wow. Poster, your instincts do not lie. I had the same feeling and found out something was up. The man used the typical example that she is the one pushing himself, when i saw the texts...it was the other way around. Some men are just stupid.
Babe truth is better.oooo, but it gat to be said the way it is, you wanna hear this truth? that babe is your hussy's side chick! Majority of men cheat on their wives. My hussy get sef (he does not know that I know) he has not given me any more reasons to fight him...why i'm I saying this?? because he respects me by not flinging it in my FACE! he does it with so much caution!He provides for me and our lovely daughter and indirectly, I am using the advantage of 'that which I know" to even ask for more to be provided. I am scared of my health too because of sexually contracted disease. We watch a lot of films together,and we discuss and analyse the films we watch, so I use the opportunity of our discuss on the film to let him know that men who have side chicks and sleep around with other women should always use protection so that they do not infect their innocent loving wives at home with it!....i dey tell make him protect my Life.ooo but we dey discuss film sha!hehehe
Wetin i go do na! if you fight, you will become the 'offender' in the eyes of 'judges' while he will be the 'victim'!I may sound cracy, but dearies, that rocks my boat in my marriage till date!#Plupart des Homme sont parreille#
My dear keep calm and focus on your pregnancy.They could be just friends.since your hubby showers you with all what you need and want during this 9mths period concentrate on that. don't over work your brain you might develop some unwanted or avoidable complications. peace.
You better go back to your house,your husband shld be able to take care of you. Let me tell you, some men can't stay long without sex no matter how innocent they look. The day he'll visit that lady...will be d beginning of an unending esca****. So quietly, go back to your house, pray to deliver successfully and ask God for wisdom. Some of these our old Aunties no go go rest. long hissss
Well said @ creampalace. Fight and win every battle on your knees. Having said this, also apply wisdom. You keep giving excuse to stay @ your mother's house and am sure your husband is in full support of you staying there. You said your mother also works, so pls who stays with you @ home when she is gone. Go back home as all have advised you and let the joy and pain of the pregnancy be shared with your husband. Enough have been said and the rest is left to you. Get a maid or another relative to come stay with you till you get better. 9mths will come and go by his grace but the damage that might be done niko?
Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com
Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..
If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via
Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com Mobile Phone +4915210724141
Men have been unfaithful since 00 BC
ReplyDeleteYour man is faithful to a reasonable extent, do not allow your inquisitiveness drive u crazy. I bet if you snoop too much, you'll definitely see irrelevant evidences which in the actual sense doesn't mean you hubby is cheating.
DeleteIf you're not comfortable, go back to your husband's house and tend to his emotional needs or stay there and breathe, take care of yourself please. This your overthinking is not good for your condition biko!
Na so one monkey tell me say men are polygamous in nature.. Thunder.....!!!!
DeleteLol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
DeleteNo go get pre-empclamsia oh madam abeg u, for ur sake and ur baby biko it's not a good experience. And ba worry they cause am from experience
DeleteHmmmm, I read this somewhere on my pc but had to settle down to comment, this poster must be my sister, my husband has female close friends, d thing tire me. He was a bachelor for too long but what is with all d women always chatting with him, even his friends wives, old single women, young, inshort I don talk tire. I even plan to reply one who lost her husband in march, she would wake uop and greet him, later tell him how her day was and later ask how his was, one time she travelled with her kids, she was sending him pics. He's really nice and solves people's problems but I can never be comfortable with all these. He says there's no basis for comparison cos I'm his wive that he loves and married. And there's nothing between them, I tell him there's an emotional relationship, if he doesn't mean it, d women might
DeleteBLOG ANALYSER: I don't see why you should be staying with ur mum just because u are preggo. What happened to allowing an elderly woman to come and help you out with house choires or geting his own relation to help u out until you put to bed. Then the person can leave. I don't think there is any cause for alarm except there is more to the story. Then if u were in my shoes u would have developed heart attack by now. My hubby is a very social man. He makes friends and with the kind of business he does he makes friends on a daily bases. Some even walk up to him and tell him that they love his dress bfore u know it he is already designing for their relations or boyfriends. I don't allow his discussion with such people to affect me coz these people are ordinary or platonic friends and again I watch to see if the discussion is going south. I have some friends too bt very few from my masters degree class and we just discuss ordinary things. No marital issues or love related. More importantly I don't confide in any of them except my hubby. Learn not to worry, if u start nagging him abt it. It might end up being the cause of ur marital issues. Concentrate on ur unborn baby.Don't forget to always commit ur marriage in God's hand. Tell God this " bind us in your love, understanding, humility and respect in Jesus name Amen. U shall deliver like the hebrew women.Amen,Cheers
DeleteI personally hate the idea of my husband keeping female friends, there is one my husband is currently keeping, I know deep down he doesnt have anything to do with her but I dont like their closeness he helps her do stuff she confides in him, I have spoken to him on it he reasurres me there is nothing what will I do but pray quarrelling might encourage him to be secretive... Abeg I no know any suggestions. Why will a single girl keep a married man as a friend beats me cos I never did when I was single
DeleteBiko biko biko, madam, do not give room for such rubbish. I had a similar experience few years back.
DeleteI was very ill and couldn't pay my fiancé a visit for 2 straight months (he stays in a different town). Before I knew it, my man had started befriending a Nigerian girl based in South Africa...one pretty girl like that.
How did I know? She added me on facebook and I discovered he (fiancé) was a mutual friend. I asked him who she was, and he said she was a friend of a friend, and that she was relocating to Naija soon and needed friends in Nigeria. Shuo! "Why you?", I asked and told him I wasn't comfortable with it straight up. He assured me it was a harmless friendship and the reason he asked her to add me on fb since we would be staying in the same neighbourhood (the girl and I). Also, that he wouldn't carry me along if he had a sinister motive. Mumu like me, I believed him.
We became good friends when she arrived. She was a nice girl. She's got brains, too. Infact, I liked her very much. One day, I paid my man a visit. While I was playing with his phone, he received a text message from the girl. Out of curiosity, I opened it, what I read my eyes couldn't believe. Inshort, he had started "shagging" her. I didn't believe the girl was capable of committing sin....lol. A sweet, kind-hearted girl with an innocent look?...hian.
And my fiancé who is now a long forgotten ex?.......whenever I mention the girl's name before I caught them, he feigns disinterest. Na so we cancel wedding that was fast approaching o.
I repeat, madam, DO NOT allow such o, before your husband go start to dey seek "unholy help" o...hmmm! Most of the time it doesn't turn out well, trust me. You, ma'am, should be your husband's all-in-all.
Dont you have one happy romantic experience???all your stories are about your bad experiences with men.May God send you positive testimonies
DeleteAmin o @Jay Blaze. I have decided to go white o, ko si eeyan lara awon Naija men. I just can't stand cheats. I can't o...argh!
DeleteMadam worry worry...are we d ones to tell u if he's gonna cheat on u or not? how are we to knw d answer to ur question?
ReplyDeleteAll I'd say is that focus on ur pregnancy and pray against any strange woman. Like Stella said, visit hubby more often if u r in doubt.
Why are u in different towns sef? What if u have no family to spend time with would u not stay at home with hubby? I don't understand the need to stay away from home cos u pregnant, pregnancy is not disability my friend. Except there's more to it that u haven't explained. Anyhow, as per the chic, look ehn, a man will do whatever he wants to do whether u are aware or not. The point here is that u do not trust ur hubby, and perhaps of u were home u would still be worried regardless. So it's not about being tempted. Believe him for now if he says it's nothing, but be very alert. That's all.
DeleteMadam stellina u took d words outta my mouth. ... madam poster not dat is bad for u to protect wat is urs but dew to ur condition now I think u should lie low but be observant....ur health is more important dan any man be it ur hubby or whatever.
ReplyDeleteMen r cheatz since d tym of jacob so let em b nd pray d lady shuld b a lesbian so she won't v his tym..... #Notmybiznx
Delete~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
Then go back home. Hian..pregnancy alone you are living with ur mum, wen you deliver nko truck go kukuma pack ur loads to ur parents house. Biko go back home and watch ur man if u r scared.
ReplyDeleteLike her mum can't come to their house and stay during this period instead of her going
DeleteViva shut your stupid mouth....if she had a difficult pregnancy and it's only her and hubby at home y not? Cos u have not experienced something u are just quick to vomit rubbish as if others are stupid...single foolish girls that will be vomiting rubbish till they marry and see reality.....mschweeeeeew
DeleteROTFL!... thank u!
DeleteI don't see anything wrong in him having a female friend. You might be the one putting silly thoughts in his mind
DeleteIf u re not comfortable pack ur load and go back home. Why do people leave their HOMES to go to their parents still can't phantom
Anon biko I am not the causer of your problems oo. Face yours squarely. I'm married and still honeymoon 'ing'. #tongueout
Delete@nash....which of d "phantom" ??? "Phantom" A or "Phantom" Z ??
DeleteWell, i have veery close male friends that would remain my friends even when we all get married. In fact the plan we have is that our spouses just have to be friends with them cos we are siblings not just friends. But yours is a different case. If your husband is your friend, pour out your heart to him and tell him your fears. Am not so comfortable with the setup. It can escalate into sumfin else and your not even around him. Tell him you don't want them to be close friends.
ReplyDeleteAnd den scatter dem in prayer. Hian!! You cannot stay inside water and soap would enter your eyes.
Lol...be sensitive and observant. extra marital look unharmful initially. And den relax for the sake of your baby. And den talk to God about it. Love.
1000 likes...Prayer works! I am a testimony.. ladies forming relationship not harmful. Once I sense in my spirit that it's not a good friendship I go on my knees and pray. Suddenly DH will tell me he's not interested in such lady's friendship...I smile and thank God Gleefully *no be ma fault oo seriously safeguarding mine *
DeleteDear poster let go, Let God. The kings heart is in his hands. Trust him to do that which will favour you.
Thses gals aren't smiling lately jare *sigh*
#Peace Ambassador SDKB
@freda so u married and crushing on Kehinde Ake? One word WHORE!!!
Delete@Rockstar. . See painment!!! I forgive you for calling such a derogatory term! In my life I only had one sex partner and that's my hubby...
DeleteI am married doesn't mean I don't have friends as male.
You need Jesus you this bitter soul!!!
I am on my way to minister and you just upset me with this insult.
I refuse to curse you with my mouth because if I do heaven obeys!!!
Be careful who you choose to fight!
*God bless you*
Crush Alert!!! Kehinde Ake.. e be like say you get secret crush on Sdk blog..lolzz #straight face.
DeleteNo fear @Rockstar... I am not interested in Kehinde for the records!!
We are a family on this blog. *am out*
Madam go back to your house. Don't be sleeping on a bicycle. Emotional cheating is worse. Sure he can have casual female friends emphasis on casual not one that they will be chatting everytime. One chance. Pack your load and go home. You say he is your best friend so ensure that you are his best friend. I repeat again, go home.
ReplyDeleteA married man is not meant to have any close female friend....his excuse doesn't hold water and he may actually be dating her or trying to start something.......but from experience just don't bother yourself, keep him close and get him to visit often till u go back home.....you are pregnant think of yourself and baby so u don't have high BP...women have strong instincts and if u suspect that means something might be wrong but like I said don't bother.......just pray and do your part as a wife....
ReplyDeleteWhat do u mean a married man is nt supposed to av female friends?were there nt female friends befor he got married?poster biko pray abt it....is it becos he tld u,wat of d ones u dnt know?if u nt comfy pls go back to ur house.
DeleteMzjay your foolishness didn't allow u see the word close abi.......is he an island that he will not have female friends? But a married man or woman should not have close friends of the opposite sex......if the conversation she heard was innocent do u think she will be worried? Ple just open their mouths and vomit rubbish.....so a married woman must never travel and leave her house for fear the hubby will cheat? Did she say she was staying at her mums for the duration of the pregnancy? I believe not.....Marriage is not bondage, and am sure if her mum could come to her she would have..men should learn to be disciplined and stop giving all the work to maintain fidelity in marriage to the women.....
DeleteActually its good your at alert, because from casual talk, it will graduate to emotional talk. But not withstanding, you are being too worried, don't give yourself HBP. Just let your guard be up and stop thinking too much.
ReplyDeleteYour comment will be visible after approval
Kai u have time. Instead of u to concentrate on ur pregnancy. Take this from me. Ive been married 15yrs. If a man wants to F around he will do it wether u protest or not. Besides save all thia fight for when u actually have proof. Good luck sha. Seems u r bored. The belle no do u
ReplyDeletePeople are somehow o. Like twisted or something. See the way you are talking as if pregnancy is a job. As if someone that is pregnant will no longer experience anything. Abegi... My husband always says that too much freedom is not good for anyone. How can she focus on her pregnancy when she is worried sick.
DeletePoster abeg its not allowed. Thank God he is your friend. Please go back home. I can assure you that men can be solo naive but the woman is d one to watch out for. With led women. Please go home and end that relationship even if you have to be manipulative about it.
Its actually easier to cheat with someone from d past.
Pls face ur pregnancy o as stell said
ReplyDeleteWhat's keeping you from going back home? Which kin pregnancy stress be that abeg? What if you lived in a different country from your mama you no go stay put? Out of sight they say...... Na you know!!
ReplyDeleteWetin you want us to tell you that you don't know? Stella and her BV haf suffered! Every little thing Stella!! MchewWwww
ReplyDeleteBiko nwa baby, if you are now well from your early preggy wahala pack your bag and go back to your Hubby so you don't develop HBP!! Ejim chukwu ayo gi biko...journalist detective Okoro, stop probing your hubby ooo allow the young man to be. Stop putting ideas into him maka onye kpatara nku ahuhu si ngwere biara oriri.
Unless you have a sugardaddy,boyfriend or sugarson apart from your hubby that gives you the impression that everybody is the same. A man that you never have a cause to suspect is the one you are almost accusing!!
Umunwanyi werenu ya nwayo ka ofe ruroro zuru Unu nri.
Nwunye Okeke
Which kind platonic rlshp be dt, pls make sure u end that friendship between them but with a gentle approach cos ladies this days can be something else especially the single old desperate ones, they are always gentle as a dove but can sting like a scorpion. Btw, wot are u doing in ur mothers house, cnt u return to ur husband's house n take care of ur home before person borrow ur rest turn am to sleep abi na only u don dey preggy before?
ReplyDeleteEhee on another note, any known blog visitor who v not been commenting since the begining of this year will be erased from our register by xmas(as in buried)
Signed by
Sdk blog funeral manager
Queenamy
Lol more like SDK grim reaper
DeleteLol more like SDK grim reaper
DeleteNa blog funeral manager u wan turn now Nne!! Hahahahahahahah!! Holy ghost fire!
DeleteDear poster, I understand your worries and you are not over reacting.
ReplyDeleteHowever if this friendship bothers you so much as I understand, then you have to tell your husband to limit communications with her to the barest minimum. Make it clear to him that you are not comfortable with their friendship.
If he really loves and cares about you, he will respect your feelings and act accordingly. Hopefully if he complies, the friendship will die a natural death. That is if nothing is truly going on between them.
Telling him to cut communications entirely with her might make it seem as if you are bossing him around.
But I will also advice you to try and get to know this lady. It's sometimes good to keep your "enemies" close.
Take good care of you and enjoy your pregnancy.
All the best.
Getting close to d lady won't change anything if she's interested in sleeping wit her hubby, it will only make it very easy and unsuspiscous. And telling her hubby to minimize communication will only make him very careful if he has interest in d lady. Poster wouldn't see any proof, am telling you.
DeleteGo home to your hubby if you don't trust him and his 'friend'. Do not give any impression that you're coming home cos of your fears. Then watch things unfold. And like I said earlier, u don't need this at all. Take care of yourself and give this a breather for now, something tells me your hubby isn't cheating, don't push him...
Thanks Stella for sharing my story. You're a darling!
DeleteThank you BVs for the comments; some made me more alarmed! And want to just go back home this morning. Lol. But some helped to calm my nerves instead. In all I appreciate all.
For those saying I should go back home; It would have been the best option all things being equal but they are not: I can relate with the story of the woman with severe morning sickness that Stella posted yesterday. Some people have it really easy during pregnancies but some don't. In fact my first pregnancy was very easy, I was even working in the bank then and I had no issues but this one is different. In fact I was so sick I couldn't help myself in anyway and my hubby would drive 40 minutes to and fro in between work hours to come and take care of me before going back. And his job was beginning to suffer hence the decision to go stay with my mum. And my mum is working so she can't come live with me. So una see where dey wahala dey?
I repeat GO BACK HOME. Your excuse is lame abeg. I bet when u get back after putting to bed, u'll meet a new woman in your home mschew
DeleteBut we women get wahala o. So he shouldn't have female friends because he is married. Babe, even if he is doing things with her he will never tell you. So be calm and take him for his words that he is not doing anything with her, period.
ReplyDeleteMiss ess you really need to grow up cos your comments are always childish......so in your small mind u think it's just about having normal female friends? Any fool knows that is impossible but from what she heard if u are mature u should know u don't keep such close friendship....learn to process your thoughts before typing....
DeleteNoooooooooooooooooo...
ReplyDeleteWhy should my husband keep a female friend??..mbanu,odiro possible...
Wetin dem dey discuss??..
Will he be comfortable if I am the one communicating with my male old friends?..
Poster,nkwucha aburo ujo biko..you better go back to your home...
Very soon,she will start introducing him to her friends...
Oriegwu!!..
Nwoke na nwanyi ejila akpa ori..This is an Igbo saying!
DeleteCan someone translate for the distressed poster.lol
I bet you missus..your instinct is on the money..as long as you are uncomfortable...it has to stop!
Follow your heart..maybe they have not started anything yet..but it will not end in your favour!
Are they business partners?
Praying partners?
Is she hiss shrink?
His cheerleader?
Companion?
Exactly what do they have in common that they talk exclusively on the phone and even CHAT, I guess,cradling the phone and grinning from ear to ear?
It starts from: oh let's have a drink to catch up! Wifey is not in town and am bored! Eya how are you coping with your wife not around!
The old friends are the sneaky ones,they know the person's weak point and use it to their advantage..crack jokes and laugh forever,tickling each other....Men don't see it coming like we do,or maybe they just pretend.
Lol,Who has seen "Baggage Claim"-Paula Patton?
Biko I pledged to be my husband's bestie and I his....If you can't be our family friend with your husband in tow..nne forgerit!
@Linda dear tnx for the tip!
This Linda go kill person with laff ,friend from the past all of a sudden? Be vigilant, na so e dey start, married men don't cheat with their enemies.
DeleteGo back to your home,let your husband feel what you are going through, it is important you guys go through this phase together, cry, wake him up at night to massage your back,after all you are friends?? cheers.
Hmm poster pack ur load nd vamose to ur house.all of una wey dey tell him to limit his commtn wit her or make friends wit her dat will nt stop d man frm doin wat he wants..aah babe let ur mother come nd stay wit u nt d other way round...God forbid if ur mama no dey alive nko u no go born..biko like queen said nkwucha aburo njo..babes r despirate...men dey cheat wen dy r in d same house wit dir spouse talk less of in dir absence...go home ooh....
Delete100 likes for this your correct comment.best advice the next time he comes tell him you will like to say hello to her on phone just as a friend as well.
DeleteMiss Esss there s nofin like we women like wahala abeg. Wit single girls u cant b too sure. Besides ur hubby mite not want to have anything to do wit ha but we women eh, mba. You have to go back to ur hubby's house for d time being to show ur presence n make sure u know dis lady. Use some female celebrities as a reference point. Married men aint off d hook o, single desperate ladies dont giv a damn so protect your own in anyway you can cos ur hubby wouldnt want u to have a male friend u chat wit n call even though its platonic. A word they say.... #PreciousIbik
ReplyDeleteStella Dimokorkus,chop knuckle!nice response.Dear poster,take am easy bikonu.your man seems to be a discipline man.There is absolutely nothin to be worried about.
ReplyDeleteDo not trust your husband totally. Chatting with an old female friend? what will they be talking about? Madam,you have every right to worry but do not over stress it,just play cool, give him a broad smile always but still be watchful.*where are the razz laughing smellos always going after people's comment?do not pass this one by.
ReplyDeleteHe might not really have anything with the lady other than friendship though stay on the alert.
ReplyDeletePoster, please just concentrate on ur baby. Same thing happened to me too. My hubby had an "old friend" that re-surfaced when I was away pregnant. A married woman at that. She also wanted to be my "friend". People wicked o!
ReplyDeleteIf you suspect him, then ur probably on to something. But face ur baby for now. And I advise you to ask your hubby to introduce u guys. That would make them let their guard down and expose themselves if there's anything to hide. That's what I did and it worked big time! Good luck with ur pregnancy
Poster y not concentrate on having ur baby first. The relationship might have no strings attached. If u r so uncomfortable about it, u can move back to ur house with ur hubby. However, that is no guarantee that he will stop cheating on u assuming he is already doing that.
ReplyDeleteQueen Linda spot on..
ReplyDeleteThe thought of what's going on is worse than the sin itself, choose ye this day...
ReplyDelete....is your pregnancy that serious that you have to go home to mum?..My husband tells me and I quote " there is nothing like a friend of the opposite sex when you're married, period"....So girl, be wise!
ReplyDeleteSweethrt no man is actually worth dying for.cab u now face ur pregnancy jeje?
ReplyDelete*AmazingGrace*
My boyfriend is not permitted to have female friends. All the ones he had before he met me, oh well! All the ones he had before he met me, oh well! He told them his girlfriend doesn't allow female friends and that's that. Imagine when we get married...he cannot have females friends, period!
ReplyDeleteA married man should not have female friends, end of story.
hmm, you need to lay down some ground rules.
ReplyDeleteliflblog.wordpress.com
LIVE YOUR BEST BECAUSE YOU CAN!
Your husband might not have the intention of dating her but you can never be too sure of the lady's intention. Please you need to discourage him and put an end to that friendship. Too many desperate girls out there. She could even befriend just to make you trust her and relax your guard. But you'll be surprised when she'll finally struck. Please put an end to their friendship unless she's also married and she introduce her husband to you and your husband and you all can become family friends. But anything outside is a risk I won't advice you to take. Don't concentrate on your pregnancy and ignore your marriage like some people are saying, cos it might be too late after your delivery.
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
I really cant encourage a married man to have any female frnd of any sought bcos i cant see why he should..... But madam make high blood pressure no catch up with yu shah......
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
You can't control everything.
ReplyDeleteWhen there are no problems, women look for one by all means.
Why are you in your parent's house? The pregnancy doesn't seem to be stressful if you are worrying about something you have no control of. So return to your own home to monitor your husband. Just be careful not to put your pregnancy in danger.
I have close male friends. In fact before marriage I had more male friends than female. But then I realised that it's hard to have platonic relationship with the opposite sex.
ReplyDeleteRight now I have narrowed them down to just 3. One of whom is a 60year old grandpa. And the other is my ex. They have all crossed the line at different times but the only thing that stopped it is because I stood my grounds. If I was interested in such we would have gone far but I can never cheat on my husband.
The 60year old grandpa has taught me so much in business in fact he made me realise the truth about the saying that what an elder sees while sitting a child cannot see even if he climbs an iroko tree. He is always quick to point my mistakes.
As for my ex no one listens to my rants like him. Once I'm filled with so much anger that I just need to vent walahi he's the best person for me to call. God bless his good heart. He's married now and I'm friends with the wife also. I wonder how she feels sef because most times we talk at length. He would even pass the phone to her at some point and we would continue.
And my third bestie is for gists sake especially if I want to laugh and gossip. He is married too.
As for my husband I'm his all time buddy and even his drinking paddy I make sure there ain't space for another. Before you say hi hello buddy your contacts will go missing from his phone.
The 60 year old grand pa used to be your aristo! Na wa oh.
DeleteYou are an extremely wicked woman. Its d wives of your stupid friends I blame. If na me, by now no be person go tell you. Nwa nkuta ki by.
DeleteJayEm bcos the whole world knows u do aristos doesn't mean every woman has aristos
DeleteI am not here to say whether he has something to do wit dis lady or not...i am no Nwa Dibia...
ReplyDeleteBuh here it goes...if dis ish bothers u Soo much,just tell him to stop!
Wonder why he has to wait for u to tell him to stop sef seeing dat it bothers u...
And Yea,i dont even see why he should be having à "platonic" relationship wit à lady.no be say dem be colleagues and especially When u are obviously not comfortable wit it.
Ana emenu...
"U had to go stay wit ur mum cos of pregnancy stress" so make pple wey no get mum die na abi? Eehee na, somebody wil stil go and takecare of ur husband until wen u come back. Remember dis, "vein dnt knw his blood sister oo". U beta go back to ur house before chi ewere ehihe jie.
ReplyDeletePoster I will advise you to either get closer to this female friend and make her your own friend. Give her close marking friendship that she will nit have room to start anything with your husband. In the other hand,go home and tell your mum to come and stay with you. If you are home, your husband will be too occupy with you to even think of scheduling things with her. So my dear make your choice o.
ReplyDeleteWhat r u doing in ur mum's house? Did u say pregnancy?? U need ur hubby now more than ur mum, ur mum can only advise u on certain things. Who cooks 4 ur hubby? Who keeps him company on cold nights? My dear ur condition is not enough reason to move 2 ur mum's, neither is it enough 2 paralyze ur duty as a wife. Thou u r not expected 2 do all, but few is more than enough to keep d fire burning. Run back 2 ur house asap, unless u want 2 go back and meet another woman taking full care of ur duty. Keep a close eyes on him cos something is happening. Take a second to pulse and think.
ReplyDelete1. She's a lady
2. An old friend
3. Must be age group, or no much age gap
4. Ur hubby being d guy is married, and she's not?
5. Might be a desperate type
6. May be playing along 2 convince u, till she gets to d part where she 'll tell u herself 'she here 2 stay
7. Doesn't know u yet and u thinks she cares about u?
8. Pick race back 2 ur house 4 ur own gud.
9.U can invite ur mum over, if u need her so much.
Madam poster Nawa for you oo, what kind of pregnancy stress wld make you go and stay with your mum instead of hubby? Abeg he supposed to kw the pains you ar going thru, Bkos to me this is when you need hubby most, this is when he shld show you more love, bath you, cook for you and feed you. I could remember the period I was having constant back ache, my hubby will masg me pray for me and cuddle me to sleep, Infact I enjoyed being pregnant for hubby even tho it wasn't easy but with him I felt much good . That was how my he catapulted me to my mum all in the name of he wants my mum to take care of me better @ the initial stage , mum looked and told me that if I don't go back to my hubby and he misbehave as men do when their wife ar far from them i should not complain to her oo. That was how I quickly return to hubby. So pack your load and go and stay with your husband and not your mum bkos men are weaker than we women. That's all I have to say. God bless
ReplyDeleteHow many of these so called female friends will u get worried abt? Men are like that, even if u return home , there are other ways they will communicate & u won't know. Worry less, ignore distractions & face ur home. Wish u safe delivery
ReplyDeleteMen chances of cheating increases when d woman gets preggy, & leaving d house for him is like adding fuel 2 fire. U chat over d phone? No amount of chatting over d phone 'll be compared 2 looking at yourselves while chatting or just sitting together. 2ndly, another lady is at d corner playing d fool while u r being fooled. Go back 2 ur house now, d least u can do if u so want ur mum around is to invite her 2 ur house, either occasionally or regularly. It 'll only costs u money, it's better u lose money than ur home. Go and possess ur possession.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, I read this somewhere on my pc but had to settle down to comment, this poster must be my sister, my husband has female close friends, d thing tire me. He was a bachelor for too long but what is with all d women always chatting with him, even his friends wives, old single women, young, inshort I don talk tire. I even plan to reply one who lost her husband in march, she would wake uop and greet him, later tell him how her day was and later ask how his was, one time she travelled with her kids, she was sending him pics. He's really nice and solves people's problems but I can never be comfortable with all these. He says there's no basis for comparison cos I'm his wive that he loves and married. And there's nothing between them, I tell him there's an emotional relationship, if he doesn't mean it, d women might
ReplyDeleteLol, it was your kind of woman that came to harass and accuse me in my father's compound that I am fucking/ having an affair with her husband,the .She said that every time her husband comes my country of residence, I'm his call girl (LOL).This was about 6 months ago when I visited Nig oo, mistcheww. Yes her husband and I are very close but we keep it very professional and platonic and since the woman came to harass me, anytime I talk to her husband or I see him when he comes over for business, he will say things like "we should kukuma have the affair maybe she would be satisfied that her instincts were right" and I know he is seriously thinking on that line.My friend even said that if it were her she would have started the affair gan,me no get time for that my doctorate is long over due.
ReplyDeleteMadam Long story short, you better keep your pants on and dont wee wee on your body,mstcheww!! You will now put the idea of an affair that wasnt even there before.I thought you married your best friend, how come you dont trust him just this few weeks you are away, biko calm down!! Have your baby in peace! All this married women sef, Im sure you have probably dated all the married men you were friends with when you were single that's why a simple conversation and chat is driving you off the cliff. Abeg im getting annoyed sef as im remembering, keep on disturbing him oo, you will finally find what you are looking for. mistcheww!
Idiot cheap slut....Buchhi, am positive ur mother is/was a slut datz y she can not school you on keeping a married man as a friend.....I hope you never get married cos if u do, your eyes go see correct pepper....Dirty thing....And I know you....You live in Aberdeen....Dwarf.
DeleteYeye. Don't worry yours is coming. Loool. Anu mpama. What are u feeling like. Have d affair na. Lol. Mtsheeeew. No be person go tell you. Whatever you sow so shall you reap. And from the look of it you are already going to get married late.
DeleteAnd please it has nothing to do sleeping with married men anu ofia. I married my husband a virgin and I would never take such shit. He sef no go try am. And if he does, I will fix d lady up. Rubbish. If acid was poured on you when u weren't even fucking d man. Maybe you would be making a different comment.
U anonymous fools are so uncouth and U lack manners.
DeleteHow did her mother enter d discussion???useless gutter rifrafs.!
Eze Nwanyi I bu Afo anu, Ike nsi, Shameless gutter thing....To think you are a mother....I am very certain you have been boinking ur daughter's hubby....Ezi ofia....Ikpu nkita di Ka gi....Onye ala....One day, d jazz u have working for you will expire....God is d ultimate....Shameless wife and mother.
DeleteUr curses are like lullaby.......
Deleteyawns**
E no sweet***
Go and learn Yoruba language,come back and curse.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........
Madam...pls face ur pregnancy. That shd be d main thing on ur mind now. It's possible that their friendship is platonic. So just lay low and observe. Continue to be a good wife...don't make an issue out of it if u don't have proof! face ur pregnancy!!
ReplyDeleteCall me old school, I don't freaking care! I believe a MARRIED MAN has no freaking business having females as friends.
ReplyDeleteIf their communication is strictly on a business or professional level, that's understandable but to go further is inviting FIRE!
Platonic friendship indeed! If only men would listen and act accordingly. Ladies aren't smiling these days.
My dear, act with wisdom and fire prayer join. You have to guide your territory against invasion! Also, move back home! Your mother's isn't yours. Go back to yours!
Well said jare...
DeleteSorry for asking......have u ever dated a married man when u were a single lady,cos I can feel u r insecure.
ReplyDeleteU guys shld pls get real jor...so because he,s married he shld,nt hv female frnds?for real?na robot?..sweety I understand ur fears but pls calm down n take him 4 his words...if u,re still not comfortable then tell him how u feel but babe try and relax small sha..remember u,re pregnant...i,ve been married for 7yrs now and trust me wen I say communication is key...tell him ur concerns..pray,play ur role as a wife and take him 4 his words till u have real proof to doubt...u just might be worried 4 nothing...choose ur battles wisely...
ReplyDeleteYou go soon dey follow this man around from the way you are sounding. Any man that is going to cheat will cheat, just pray to God.
ReplyDeleteMadam run back to your home. Your husband impregnated you so the two of you are supposed to deal with the stress! What is wrong with some of you??!! Your instinct is telling you something is going on so definitely something is going on ! Ha! Some women ehn!
ReplyDeleteMy dear hurry back to ur home, ur mum cant do it beta dan a doctor!! I dont joke with my insticts dou and in this case, u might/not be right!! A married man/ woman shouldnt kip a close opposite sex, its harmful! Every other friendshp is outta to be casual!!!!
ReplyDeleteDear poster prayer is the key.
ReplyDeleteFirst and foremost relax and take it easy,coz anything u go thru in pregnancy d baby feels.guess we want a perfect baby don't we?
Also note this is one of the many situations u will come across now during marriage ,coz it's a life time relationship.how u handle it now with peace
Of mind shows how will handle others.
So once more relax,in relationship such happens coz we are human first be it both sexes,we get bored and tend to b adventurous.its good u re alert but use wisdom as well.
Instead of u going suspicious try to make reasonable conversation about d lady with ur hubby,chec for signals and talk maturedly.
Will use my self as an example.permit me to say most ladies that get married to good men as in good in all sense face this,coz d lady friend knows they're. she must have been thru hell with other men hence she tends to emotionally settle for a man who knows d right words to tell even if he is married
Back to my gist,there was this colleague of my hubby ,they actually sit together (didn't know at first) suddenly my hubby keeps talking about her and her opinions,guess what she was divorced.
Note.my hubby hates d idea of divorce and usually says a marriage doesn't have to end in divorce that it can savaged except for infidelity issues,now he supports her for divorcing d hubby that based on d story she tells hubby deserves it.
I was shocked that my hubby Mr perfect could say this(emotional friendship) funny enough d third guy sitting with them always condemns d idea and i was surprised he supports her.
Anyways they organised xmas party and we had to go.meanwhile i never argued with him about her,kept asking gist about situations.the three of them go for lunch together so i knew they were quite close,anything can happen.got my information about her already all that was set was to put a face to her data.
Lo and behold she was pretty for her age,one won't belive she has a teenager as a daughter,just my hubbys specs, i was like h.mn h.mn, no wonder she could fill d gap when i wasn't there.
Was ready to pic convo with hubby and pic a fight,doh she couldn't hide her surprise that i was younger and pretty,she even said so,but d spirit told me to cool down.didn't even know i was pregg as at then,found out d same weekend .
I jus mellowed may b i would have lost d baby if i was too stressed.
My spirit told me to pray,coz i trust my hubby but feared for what could happen.i travelled for xmas with my boys worried that we won't be together anything can happen.
Hmn,i prayed o,just that week,hubby came to join us guess what,he said they have separated them that order from above to move there department,i prayed laughed inwards with so much joy,he wasn't aware of my battle alone i won and conquered. Believe me that was the end of their close friendship,coz they never have time to see each other as they re on diff floors.
Upon resumption no mention of d particular name again.can u see how God does things talk to him alone and he will settle it,enjoy ur pregnancy,remind him of d good man he is always,rubb his ego well,and how he wants to keep his home,trust me if he is d good man u said he is?he will think twice,don't start what u can't finish.
Never pic a fight because of d lady instead chat with him sop can be well informed and use it in d place of prayer.hope i was able to pass d message across?do not mind my epistle God bless.
Na wah!
DeleteAll these things you people put on God's doorsteps.
What if the lady was destined to provide breakthrough for your husband?
Lovely piece of advice
DeletePls go back home n spend more time with him.
ReplyDeleteSo, where is narrative two huh?...mm
ReplyDeleteIn another news,I kinda dnt understand dat msg hot ice's Ada wrote...are they lesbians or juz frnds?...*bbmConfusedface*
I wouldn't say your concerns are baseless. I really don't like it when a wife leaves her "nest", unless it's unavoidable. Your hubby may have harmless intentions but, never underestimate the power of closeness. A lot of men are now married to their "platonic" female friends, whom were initially chat buddies. As a matter of fact, some of the best lovers today didn't have any attraction to each other initially but as time went bye, strong feelings developed. Some even broke off the relationships their had, at the time, to start afresh with the newly found love.
ReplyDeleteThere are various schools of thought on this idea but, I'm of the opinion that married people should be weary of keeping friends of the opposite sex. I'm not saying once you get married you should become a hermit, be cordial but avoid being close to a particular friend. Friendships easily progress into intimacy especially with the opposite sex.
As for you, my sweet, try not to get yourself worked up because of the pregnancy. I'll suggest you return home to your man, if possible. I know being with a man may not prevent him cheating but, God forbid he does, you won't feel like your absence aided and abated his infidelity. I know for a fact that being around a man who adores you, is healthy and can curb the urge to cheat.
Most of you are married to children. See married women shouting, go and monitor, men are weak. Wow. Poster, your instincts do not lie. I had the same feeling and found out something was up. The man used the typical example that she is the one pushing himself, when i saw the texts...it was the other way around. Some men are just stupid.
ReplyDelete@creampalace...I enjoyed ur gists...wow,prayer works lik magic,i kip sayin it.
ReplyDeleteChinwenmeri.blogspot.com
According to my friend Ovie "man and woman no dey play".nuff said
ReplyDeleteSimple!
DeleteBabe truth is better.oooo, but it gat to be said the way it is, you wanna hear this truth? that babe is your hussy's side chick! Majority of men cheat on their wives. My hussy get sef (he does not know that I know) he has not given me any more reasons to fight him...why i'm I saying this?? because he respects me by not flinging it in my FACE! he does it with so much caution!He provides for me and our lovely daughter and indirectly, I am using the advantage of 'that which I know" to even ask for more to be provided. I am scared of my health too because of sexually contracted disease. We watch a lot of films together,and we discuss and analyse the films we watch, so I use the opportunity of our discuss on the film to let him know that men who have side chicks and sleep around with other women should always use protection so that they do not infect their innocent loving wives at home with it!....i dey tell make him protect my Life.ooo but we dey discuss film sha!hehehe
ReplyDeleteWetin i go do na! if you fight, you will become the 'offender' in the eyes of 'judges' while he will be the 'victim'!I may sound cracy, but dearies, that rocks my boat in my marriage till date!#Plupart des Homme sont parreille#
Alot of men tend to cheat when their wives are pregnant. i no many.
ReplyDeleteMy dear keep calm and focus on your pregnancy.They could be just friends.since your hubby showers you with all what you need and want during this 9mths period concentrate on that. don't over work your brain you might develop some unwanted or avoidable complications. peace.
ReplyDeleteYou better go back to your house,your husband shld be able to take care of you. Let me tell you, some men can't stay long without sex no matter how innocent they look. The day he'll visit that lady...will be d beginning of an unending esca****. So quietly, go back to your house, pray to deliver successfully and ask God for wisdom. Some of these our old Aunties no go go rest. long hissss
ReplyDeleteWell said @ creampalace. Fight and win every battle on your knees.
ReplyDeleteHaving said this, also apply wisdom. You keep giving excuse to stay @ your mother's house and am sure your husband is in full support of you staying there. You said your mother also works, so pls who stays with you @ home when she is gone. Go back home as all have advised you and let the joy and pain of the pregnancy be shared with your husband. Enough have been said and the rest is left to you. Get a maid or another relative to come stay with you till you get better. 9mths will come and go by his grace but the damage that might be done niko?