Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: TOXIC Friends You May Encounter.....

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Thursday, November 06, 2014

TOXIC Friends You May Encounter.....


Below are 6 types of Toxic friends that we will encounter in life:






1. The Promise Breaker

This friend constantly disappoints you or breaks promises, most likely because he/she herself was constantly disappointed during thier formative years. Your friend is unable to stop him/herself from repeating that pattern. It is an annoying but comfortable pattern for your friend, and without psychological help, it may be hard for her or him to alter this pattern. You could abandon the friend and the friendship, or you could find a way to detach yourself by lowering your expectations for this friendship.



2. The Double-crosser

This negative friend betrays you big-time. It could happen when someone does something to hurt you, such as spreading a malicious rumor about you. Or it could be an emotional double-cross; for example, when a close or best friend stops speaking to you and you never find out why.

3. The Self-absorbed

Certainly the Self-absorbed is a tamer type of negative friend than the Risk-taker. Still, especially over the long haul, a friend who does not make the time to listen to you will eat away at your self-esteem. For you to feel good about yourself, and for your friendship to thrive, you have to be more than a sounding board. The Self-absorbed does not care; she listens to you only because she is waiting to speak...LOL


4. The Discloser

When you say to this friend, "This is just between us," she nods her head but unfortunately that promise will last only as long as it takes her to get to her phone or e-mail. Although there should be an assumption of confidentiality and trust between friends, this friend can't help herself. Telling this person a secret makes her feel vulnerable and uncomfortable. Like the game "hot potato," she has to pass the hot secret along to someone else in order to relieve the anxiety knowing the secret made her feel. There are also some Disclosers who simply have a big mouth. If someone you know has this personality trait, avoid telling her your innermost secrets .

5. The Competitor

A little bit of competition is healthy and to be expected. An appropriate amount of competition will motivate and stimulate. But too much competition between friends starts to destroy the friendship. One of the primary ingredients in a positive friendship is that one or both friends feel that they can be "themselves" and that they don't have to put on airs or impress one another. Competition implies a race in which one wins and the other loses; those conditions are quite the opposite of what someone typically expects in a positive friendship, especially a close or best one.

6. The Fault-finder

Nothing you do, say, or wear is good enough for this overly critical friend. The Fault-finder was probably raised by extremely judgmental parents who were also rearing equally hypercritical siblings. Being criticized during her formative years laid the groundwork for an overly critical adult. It's a hard trait to reverse, and your friend may even be unaware that she is so critical or that it annoys and upsets you so much. Before labeling this type of friendship as hopelessly destructive, you might want to see if your friend could recognize this excessively derogatory behavior and, with time and help, change that orientation. Otherwise, you may decide that you just have to accept this trait in your friend and realize that it reflects on her, not on you or your friendship.



Which of these toxic friends are you harbouring right now?




195 comments:

  1. No. 5, The competitor. Hmmm, that babe's gist is a story for another day. Some friends sha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gemini how you dey? Waiting for the day the story go mature. Saw ur reply in other post about comments on your wedding, pls dear let go such comments doesn't define the beautiful love you and your DH shared with us. God will continue to bless and nourish your marriage with His favours and blessings. Happy you are back!!!

      Delete
    2. Thank you Ada. God bless u too.
      As for d gist hmmm, you will wait long o. Lol. In d meantime, u can borrow one of SDK's seats and relax while u wait for d gist. Brb

      Delete
    3. Bad mind can make u lose weight. Don't tell me u spent ur honey moon bashing bvs. How did u do it? I mean how did u send such pics to Sdk blog knowing what 'll happen? Well d deed is done, swallow d bitter pill/truth and move on, u r not helping it die down by replying everybody. U didn't even send some 'richard' cards to bribe us small. Don't 4get d rules nxt time, 'if u don't v d liver, don't send ur pictures to sdk blog'. Enough!

      Delete
    4. Send recharge card to you for what?? Oh puleezzeee!!! Am happy she did not even bother to spend her money.

      After loading recharge cards in this blog,i know most of you have cussed out the giver!!! So you well known ID hiding under anonymous,Enough!

      Delete
  2. awwwww I love u Stella!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I come here 2 read comments 2 remind myself why I can never date a naija woman,thanks bvs 4 helping me confirn what I already know about shallow naija females.

      Delete
    2. Friends,some are very bad

      Delete
  3. The double crosser and discloser.....God help me.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The earlier you people stopped taking some comments on here serious, the better. Life is not that serious, and trust me, nobody will get out of it alive. Gemini and Jayem stalker, take a leaf...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Happy birthday Bianca Bruno...
    #iloveme

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its your day Bianca, where do I send the kiss??#sweetmother#

      Delete
    2. Happy birthday dearie. Make sure you are having fun. Life is too short

      Delete
    3. Happy Birthday to you Bianca B!!!!!!

      Delete
    4. Happy Birthday to you Bianca B!!!!!!

      Delete
    5. @bianca happy birthday. ... #waitingforthecake.

      Delete
    6. Happy birthday Bianca! Lotta love

      Delete
    7. Happy birthday Bianca
      #scorpiosrock
      Mine is on the 21st

      Delete
    8. Hbd hun....all these people we know on this blog don't want to send their pics. All the birthday pictures I have been seeing are people with unknown names.

      Delete
  6. None, I have no friends! Riding SOLO and not liking it. #OneLove#

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are not alone. I am my friends now not liking it, but good for me.

      Delete
    2. Gbam. More like acquaintance. Time for nonsense zero percent. Not with past experiences which I am not in the mood to revisit. Life is too sweet to be enveloped in bitter pasts. Na so person go reach 80 still dey fight fight. So what will I tell God I did with the life He gave me to enjoy? Emancipate yourself

      Delete
  7. Sorry sweets. I been so busy I almost forgot.
    Fastest fingers.
    Glo cards
    210 1413 5258 9403

    210-1411-2017-3424

    210-1415-3219-7457

    Dnt load if u have more than 400# in ur balance

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mtn cards..
    9358-4476-7531

    3574-0875-8295

    0275-5911-7154
    Dnt load if u have more than 400# in ur ballance
    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  9. oh well, ...the word 'friend' for me is relative. I have more of acquaintance.

    ohh yea, my bestest friend is SDKBLOG- my 'correctest' paddy that gives me 247/365 gist, advice, insult and all .

    stella help me choose a category abeg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Any need for physical friends when u have SDK blog for everything you will do with a physical friend and won't be judged forever. In here u fight, laughter, pray and celebrating all together. But also we have all 6 list types of friends here on SDK too.

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. Same here. Cos sometimes u re not d Best friend of ur Best friend.

      Delete
  11. Toxic friends in my life? I even get friends not to talk of toxic ones? Lemme see......I have only two people I can say are really my FRIENDS. My sis who happens to be my bff & Joan (the best thing that happened to me during my NYSE.7 years & counting she's graduated from a friend to a sis.) Others are just friends (for lack of words to use cos they are not close to me & their presence or absence makes no impact in my life)
    I wonder how people who have tons of friends do it cos you only end up giving people the ammunition with which they can use to destroy you. You won't know who loves you, hates you, wants to destroy you, pouring sand into your garri.
    I can't deal with all that negativity & wahala.
    I'll rather be on my own & have peace than surround myself with wolves in sheep clothing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought I was the only one who had this thinking. How ladies and gents can cope with battalion of friends is a wonder to me. I believe the more friends you accumulate, the more problemssssssssss you create for yourself. #Riding SOLO# (thanks to KB).

      Delete
    2. @Rubynnia been a while, much love. *kisses*

      Delete
    3. Friends ke? That word doesn't exist in my dictionary, i do not even have the time.

      Delete
  12. Instead of asking "Which of these toxic friends are you harbouring right now?", you should ask "which of the toxic friends are you?" I'm sure there are toxic friends on here. Lethal friends sef! They will all start writing about toxic friend, meanwhile na them toxic pass! Odiegwu!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahhahhahah spot on.... jst like d virgin post....lmao

      Delete
  13. Over to those who keeps friendship. .. me na me and madam stellina blog....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dayuuum gurl, "those who keeps"? And as if that wasn't enough, "keeps friendship"? Like seriously?

      Delete
  14. I stopped harbouring the one called the double crosser,who would do anything to run me down and even fucked my ex who came back begging and confessed and I accepted him back cos I love him...thank God I discarded that friend....people like that are evil...............

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I experienced the same thing!!!! Some girls are evil! They won't hesitate to sleep w an ex or a guy u r dating. But they always get their own karma

      Delete
    2. Honey. If I were u I would be MORE mindful of the dude.

      Delete
  15. Stella's firstborn6 November 2014 at 14:24

    NONE.. I am my own bestie.

    ReplyDelete
  16. The type that calls u bestie, and wants to know everything about you, then she hides everything about her self. She feels she is so wise and coded that even sdk can't decode her. She paints a picture perfect life of herself, and loves to call u a drama queen..tsk tsk tsk. She tries to make u unhappy about your life, with her perfect life...then calls u bff #lwtmb# she lies even to herself until she begins to believe those lies, but truth is, she has so many skeletons in her beautiful cupboard, and she thinks you are a fool, but u know what she is upto, and u keep on smiling. Sweety, if you get to see this cos I know u will def see it, just know that I know what's been happening. You aren't perfect, neither I'm i. You owe me no explanations whatsoever about the way you decide to live your life. Just drop this holier than thou attitude, cos pretense doesn't take u far, and only someone who truly cares about you will put up with all of that BS for this long.... wheeeew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a bad friend. Must she tell you everything about her life? Ndi oso chi egbu. You claim you know what's happening with her and you still want her to tell you? Are you God? People like you are the enemies within #cantdeal.

      Delete
    2. Good friend Katie, clap for yourself. If u have a friend who wants to know everything about you, but stylishly shields hers, then u will understand.

      Delete
    3. Haa..how is she creating a picture perfect life dear..are you sure you are not the one perceiving all these? Not everyone likes opening up hun..You are responsible for what you tell your friend..don't blame your friend for not sharing with you. It is not a crime to be secretive about YOUR OWN life!

      You will be surprised that people here know more about the goings-on in my life more than colleagues and friends..i have two wonderful friends that I just got hooked on here..am guessing they are peeping and giggling away..lol

      Omg! I went back to read your comment again!! So she has skeletons and it is an issue ? I guess she can never please you! She is perfect,you complain,she has skeletons,you are unhappy!! Nawaoooh
      Please just walk away from her because you are not her friend! Thank you..expect she has "other" crimes you are not letting us know about.

      Delete
    4. You're jut like your friend Delores. Tsk tsk tsk shameless back stabbing bitches

      Delete
    5. Exactly, i do not share jack about myself to any friend and am not obliged to but if anyone chooses to tell me her secrets, fine,after all i didn't ask or force you to, hian.

      Btw, if you observe i don't tell you stuff then stop telling me yours as well, kapish!

      Delete
    6. Iphie, am I one of the people you met?
      Shebi eye yam one of Them???

      Delete
  17. Friends? Not for me.... Can't deal or measure up in their competition ooooo. I only have a friend and we've gone a long way that people see us as sisters even our family members, I think am okay with one oooo.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I can see myself as no.1. Sad but true :(

    DARKCOCO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you o'jare for being true.

      I don't like these kinda posts cos suddenly everyone becomes a victim of toxic friends. Nobody here is a bad or toxic friend o, all you know is that you have them.

      That is how on the judging post yesterday, everyone became a judgee and not a judger, even when the world knows that every single person judges the person next to him/her.

      Suddenly, everyone had tales of being judged, conveniently forgetting that time you had blatantly judged someone for something that really was no concern of yours.

      Biko, on this post eh, let us all calm down with the tales of toxic friends. Before you start giving us gist of that discloser or competitor you have for a friend, think real hard about how some of your friends might perceive your attitude to be.

      Delete
  19. #sings:There's not a friend like the lowly Jesus,no not one,No not one..Need I sing more?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funny how no one will be "that" friend here....

      Stella's blog is filled with virgins and good friends....

      Sing more jare wide eyed!

      Delete
    2. Hahahahahahaha....as in...very funny

      Delete
    3. Bwhaahahahahahahahahahhahaa!!!! lammiebee, u too funny

      Delete
    4. If you insist,I ve 2 more special numbers. 1,what a friend we have in jesus,all our sins and grief to bear...what a previledge to carry,everything to God in prayeeeeer... 2,I ve found friend in jesus,he's everything to me,he's rhe fairest of ten thousand to my soul...the lily of the valley etc. Who needs friends when jesus lord?make him your bestee now! Let somebody shout halilujah!!!

      Delete
    5. Bwahahahahaha... wide eyed, u r hilarious!....
      * singing along, iwhat a friend we have in Jesus ....*


      Butterscotch

      Delete
  20. Too bad!i don't keep too many friends but I have a lot of E-friends

    ReplyDelete
  21. Truth is most people fall into at least one or two or more of each category,i was scrolling down nodding in agreement until i found myself,hmmm
    So don't be too quick to start categorizing your 'frenemies' trust me you might just be guilty of one..

    ReplyDelete
  22. ' FRIENDS'...that word should have another definition. ..I watched a recent home video today and I just couldn't help but cry..married women in d house that have everything going well for them, single girls about to get married, let us know who we call friends and what we tell them. .an innocent brag from us can put us in danger..please go look for 'sorrows/pains of nene ' to watch and u will know what I'm talking about. .its on YouTube. .please let's be cautious of what we say and whom we call friends. ..after watching it, I told myself that when I eventually get married, no so called friend will even know my home if it's possible. ..

    ReplyDelete
  23. Pained witches calling themselves friends. I learnt my lesson loosing a very good friend but its all good. My eyes wide open now even though I don't keep friends anymore, just hey, long time no hear things, and am loving it.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Deep sigh*
    Aunty stella I av dem plenty! Al the promise breakers they av promised to help me talk to their connected to give me job I av a second class upper I finished from a good uni, all I need is a job, nothing more I don't beg dem to feed me nor clothe me, these are people we rapport in uni well,the most painful thing is that they even stop picking my calls only 4 dem to call me wen they need help & I still gladly help dem am tried of getting angry some I even spoke to deleted me off bbm wetin man go do? heeding to my mum's advice which says don't worry God hasn't placed it on deir mind to help u.
    It is well with my soul.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Deep sigh*
    Aunty stella I av dem plenty! Al the promise breakers they av promised to help me talk to their connected to give me job I av a second class upper I finished from a good uni, all I need is a job, nothing more I don't beg dem to feed me nor clothe me, these are people we rapport in uni well,the most painful thing is that they even stop picking my calls only 4 dem to call me wen they need help & I still gladly help dem am tried of getting angry some I even spoke to deleted me off bbm wetin man go do? heeding to my mum's advice which says don't worry God hasn't placed it on deir mind to help u.
    It is well with my soul.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I used to have 2 & 4. I had to ditch dem.. Cudnt deal! #teamonewomansquadnow

    ReplyDelete
  27. Funny enough I don't keep friends that much especially female folks, so I can't answer dis. I no nid trouble abeg. The few ones I have aint nothing like what is listed above. I prefer my male friends more jare. Guys don't av issues that much jare.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I am an emotional double-crosser, and i think i have Nos 3 and a competitor as friends.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Nt harbouring Stella...d question is which are u,everybody will turn a good person with a vile frend on dis post.at one point in time we've bin bad to our frends maybe nt a toxic frend.as for me d few I av are ok.

    ReplyDelete
  30. NUMBER 2
    confided in her about smthngs in the office! she walked up to my boss and disclossed everythng.im presently out of the office

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for u wide mouth must u disclose something all d time? Aunts Stella pls don't use my comment to chop bole

      Delete
  31. None mehn. I don't have too many close friends but the few I have give me peace.
    The ones that have one or two of the above traits are not very close to me therefore they are insignificant in my life.

    ReplyDelete
  32. NUMBER 2
    confided in her about smthngs in the office! she walked up to my boss and disclossed everythng.im presently out of the office

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmaoo. Ur comment got me oo.
      Lol

      Delete
    2. Lmaoo. Ur comment got me oo.
      Lol

      Delete
    3. Daniella Jackson, you are all shades of friends Stella wrote about. How do you sleep at night?

      Delete
    4. I'm sure Stella can relate to your predicament. If u read her grass to grace gist when she worked at hints magazine, then u would see the opportunity to excel eve with ur displacement in office. Cheer up dear

      Delete
  33. Honestly I have none of those 6.
    A lil competition but not too much.
    They are all down to earth and no forming.
    Very high esteem girls. Them dey give me morale sef. Very intelligent gals.
    N we bin friends throught Uni and we still visit each other till this very day.

    We trust each other so well.
    D only fights we v had z jst lil arguements.

    Only one is a pathological liar, we jst learnt to ignore her. Apart from that, she is nice to the core and can sweat for you. So we let her good parts over ride the Linus.
    Thats how we roll!

    I love my friends.
    If you want genuine friends, you gotta be genuine yourself.
    You must meet the requirements of your own requirements.
    You can't give what you don't have.

    Writing this epistle just made me rem them and the crazy times we had in skool!
    Ohh, we were so envied!!

    Chai.

    Life is good!!!!
    God you are great!!

    11/11.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oliva, that's the kind of friends I have. We were called the three musketeers. Two of us are married now, though we are in different states, we communicate well and I love them.
      Friends that won't hesitate to tell you that you messed up but will still have your back.

      Delete
    2. Exactly. They can tell you how you messed up and still have your back anyday. They can even tell you when your new hair or nails are ugly!! Simple and short. No "awwww,its fine" wen it isn't.

      God bless Good friends!!

      Delete
  34. Stella to be honest, when it comes to friendship, especially with my fellow babes, I raise my yash jump am pass, bcos I cant shout!! Most of us dey do *sideyes* look on our fellow babes!

    The one I am dealing with is the Competitor! She will visit me today, sees new stuff and before you know it she will go buy the exact same type of stuff that you have. You may not understanding where i am coming from but this is someone who will never compliment you for what you have ( same thing which she is eyeing)!

    Before I go married, we were roomates living in a three bedroom flat in the highbrow area of Lagos. She was the one who had the flat and needed someone to share it with her(the house she has been living in like all her life). In her room, no air conditioner, but immediately i packed in and fixed mine, she go fix! I discussed with her for us to contribute money and buy inverter bcos the two Generators we had packed up same time. she delayed in responding to us buying it. I decided to buy and fix an inverter to power just stuff in my room, the next week, she went and bought her own inverter and fixed! I bought some other stuff which she too bought and fixed in her house! na wa.oooo! she no know as this thing dey vex ME! Mtcheewwwwww

    Competition in friendship, hnmmm, its dangerous! hers was not a healthy one....na jealousy! make she show herself. How come you live for house over twenty years na when I come in naim you know say u go put a/c for your house, buy inverter and other stuff wey she copy copy from me buy?
    #J'arrete#

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's very obvious she doesn't want to be ur friend Abeg na u dey force her for the matter *sideeyes*

      Delete
    2. Relax madam... You buy your own she buy her own... Y e dey vex you? No be only you dem make the things for now... U gan, u are very selfish yourself...its not compulsory for someone to compliment you when you have something nice. .. As long as she is not 'Amaka begi begi', I think she is ok. Na make u check yourself..The world does not belong to you and good things is not made for only you. I think it's enough compliment when someone sees something with you and buy their own cause they appreciate it. I hope you are not the type of person that likes to be the only center of attraction...

      Delete
    3. You sound like an enemy of progress... Haba, the sky is large enough for every bird to fly. Instead of you to happily keep lifting her up, you are getting angry.

      Delete
  35. None. Having few friends is always better. Rid yourself from all these bad pple

    ReplyDelete
  36. Fortunately none, I only have 1 friend and God has been our strenght

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  37. Stella did u make up this list yourself?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Deep sigh*
    Aunty stella I av dem plenty! Al the promise breakers they av promised to help me talk to their connected to give me job I av a second class upper I finished from a good uni, all I need is a job, nothing more I don't beg dem to feed me nor clothe me, these are people we rapport in uni well,the most painful thing is that they even stop picking my calls only 4 dem to call me wen they need help & I still gladly help dem am tried of getting angry some I even spoke to deleted me off bbm wetin man go do? heeding to my mum's advice which says don't worry God hasn't placed it on deir mind to help u.
    It is well with my soul.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *screaming* they are not ur friends o becos obviously ure nt that important to them

      Delete
  39. Yeah I can understand no.5. I had one fren like that in school. If I buy something, next day she will go look for same thing to buy. And when she does she will come straight to me from the shop and be like 'I bought it too'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is nothing wrong with that. I think it's better than begging to use your thing.

      Delete
  40. This one is for people who keep piles and piles of friends. I don't

    ReplyDelete
  41. 2,3,5, awon oloshi.....anywayz a lesson well learned for me.Female friends are a big NO, I stick with the guys all the way

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So in other words,u like prick shey?

      Delete
  42. ***HEALING-RAIN***


    None.
    I went green and detoxed all of them out of my system.
    Am whole.

    ReplyDelete
  43. None ooo1!! Hain! i am not a robot nau, everyday i go dey prove am??

    ReplyDelete
  44. I used to have a discloser as a friend and also double crosser @ the same time. I thought I could cope buh I had to drop her when it was hot to avoid her ruining my life with her malicious gossips.

    ReplyDelete
  45. None. The less garbage you have, the less flies you get. So dispose off garbages and you wouldn't need that fly squatter. Why would anybody want to have these kinds of friends around them? You attract who you are, by virtue of similarity and shared concepts. But you should surround yourself with good friends. Friends that make you want to be better. There are people out there like that- the good friends. But you have to be a good person yourself to attract good people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where do I send your kiss? Four seasons???

      Delete
    2. I beg to differ on one aspect though, the opposite attracts sometimes. When u attract leeches abi what are they called, it's because you have something they want to suck, not necessarily because you are a leech. Some people only make friendships that are beneficial to them ALONE, usually with the implication or effect of exhausting the other's resources. NO mutual benefits but to always take from you or use u as a ladder to achieve their aim. And afterwards dump you. Just saying

      Delete
  46. I can promise and fail to come to my friend's house eeee even wedding sef I no dey attend! Every1 of my friend is bitter about my promise and fail, but they won't understand that it was not intentional.
    Only me will take care of the house, kids, oga and sometimes am drained!!! But am a very kind person even sometimes I give myself beyond myself.lol
    Is well shaa, I will make amend cos I dnt wanna be toxic oooo


    Nwunye Okeke

    ReplyDelete
  47. SDK, I dont keep friend...I really dont know what kind of person I am ooo.

    Please click on my name for Fashion/beauty/Fitness tips

    ReplyDelete
  48. I know people who fall into each of this category. I always wonder why they believe everything is about competition and why they envy so much that it is written so badly all over their face. I just ignore them because they really don't count or matter in my life. As yoruba's will say "Atejun la ma fi iru won se" I don't wish anyone evil but in as much as you have a slight thought of evil against me "Holy Ghost fire sends it back to you in a zillion folds"
    Rejoice with people so that the world can rejoice with you when it get's to you.
    God doesn't forget anyone but we humans due to our terrible nature delay the blessings due unto us.

    Stella! i appreciate your good works via this blog. May God bless your life, home and this blog which is your ministry in Jesus Christ name, Amen.

    May the Lord deliver us from Toxic Friendships in Jesus name, Amen!!!

    ReplyDelete
  49. I am the self-absorbed......No remorse whatsoever. If I dnt put my self first, who shud?
    Lol

    ReplyDelete
  50. I have seen all of the above.am yet to understand though,why and how can u call someone a friend and end up bringing the person down?am careful of who I call "friend"

    ReplyDelete
  51. Hmnnnnn I had one no. 5 like that, she was angry that I got married and I did not tell her. She did not wish me congrats or anything only for someone else to tell me she was getting married and we were still friends on bbm. Imagine someone you call your friend keeping the grudge that you did not invite her for your wedding for 2 years before she said i-do
    I wish her well sha, na the marriage she don dey so; God go see us through!

    I am friendless at the moment because she was my all in all- God knows best. Its kinda lonley without her but I'm doing just fine getting along without her in my life

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If she was ur all in all , y ddnt u inform her of ur own wedding
      Now u r gting a taste of ur medicine ...why den r u ranting?

      Delete
    2. U didn't tell her and you expect her to tell you? I don't even know how some of you on this blog reason. Tufiakwa

      Delete
    3. Y didn't u tell her if really u saw her as ur frnd? I don't support d fact dat she carried d grudges 4 so long! U guys doesn't trust each oda.

      Delete
    4. You are the bad friend serves you right. Why didn't you invite your so called friend to your wedding. This life sha. Pointing a finger while the rest are pointing at you. Hian!

      Delete
    5. She was ur all-in-all and u couldn't tell her u were getting married??? What kind of friend were u then, I no blame her at all

      Delete
    6. How come she is your all-in-all, you do wedding you no tell her. I had someone like you. I thought she was my paddy only to behave the same way. Na O-Y-O be my lane now.

      Delete
    7. You are a bad person, why didn't you invite her to your wedding? Now you are wishing her marriage evil.

      Delete
    8. This is confusing..... She's your all in all, and you didn't tell her about your wedding?
      For me, I had a number 2. "Had" because I dropped her before anyone could say jack robinson. I helped this friend like a sister, she's in the states doing her masters (all expense paid) courtesy of the assistance of my friend.
      But was trying to poke holes in my relationship. Good thing my man told me...... it was a painful decision, but it needed to be done.

      Delete
    9. You did wrong by not inviting her. Do you kno how painful it is when somone yu call ur close frnd dosnt tell u shes gettin married? If she was trully ur all in all y didnt u tell her? U did wrong! Tho its not nice of her not to inform u, but my dear i wuld do d same if i were her. Kpele!

      Delete
    10. Well hw cm u were getting married n ddnt tell her? U sef no good! She only gave u a taste of d old meal. Ain't nothing wrong with her

      Delete
    11. You didn't tell her about your wedding and you expect her to tell you about hers eekwa? She obviously does not trust you..she might not be carrying any grudge biko..don't give yourself too much credit..

      Delete
    12. Haba! Mama D, fear God small nah. d way u feel now is exactly how she felt yrs back wen u did urs. Do to others what u want dem to do to u. GOLDENRULE.

      Delete
  52. Replies
    1. U jonathan anus-tissue,u'r all d above n more

      Delete
  53. i have all of them as friends ,till death do us path.for now is me ,my work ,my sdkblog .

    ReplyDelete
  54. ANGELRAY SAID
    Girls wahala no easy oooh, my best friend betrayed me at my place of work when i got promoted, she made sure the promotion was stopped cos she was nacking my oga, since then i just lock up, she likes competition too much tufiakwa.

    ReplyDelete
  55. I dnt av frends bt I tink EZENWANYI possess al dis qualities plus mor..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Does d name Ezenwanyi help U sleep well @ night????

      Delete
  56. I dnt av frends bt I tink EZENWANYI possess al dis qualities plus mor..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Won fe tie! and una say,dog to ba fe sonu no dey gbo fere ode.

      keep my moniker outta Ur cursed mouth.

      Delete
  57. 2 many fake pple on dis blog...hw com it jst few pple dat Harbour frends? Chai! ekwensu ntor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you meet some bvs when they were real? How are you capable of judging their "fakeness"

      Delete
    2. ...are U minding this social rejectee.
      D id!ot is going about picking fights thinking it will give her acceptability and famzability.

      Delete
  58. 2 many fake pple on dis blog...hw com it jst few pple dat Harbour frends? Chai! ekwensu ntor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Y are U forming in d mouth???
      My sympathies for Ur situation.

      Delete
  59. Do you know the best gift a guy can give Rihanna this Xmass ? Find that out @ janeofodile.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  60. I have only one friend who I share my secrets with n that's JESUS.........my room mate hates me cos am 2 secretive,i dont share my secrets wit her n that's bcos she runs her mouth like tap!!

    ReplyDelete
  61. Mama D u r a very bad person how Cn u we'd and nt tell ur sole called bestfriend which pple help you plan d wedding? For wat ever reason u did nt tell her datz y she did nt tell u.. biko stop vexing mumu vex

    ReplyDelete
  62. Friends ke? Can't deal abeg. My DH is my bestie. I have more like acquaintances.
    The only one I had way back was an emotional double-crosser. My then bestie just stopped talking to me for no reason,even after I tried everything to knw what I did wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  63. I have no friends biko, i don't have energy. I waste no time in cutting off toxic ppl.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Very true. Thanks for posting it. Quite informative and interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  65. I had one that I dumped recently and I think no:2,5 and 6 fit her perfectly.
    Her story is a topic on its own but I don't ve time to type now, may be one day I will ve the strength to type.
    May GOD expose all our frienenmies before they get too deeply involve in our affairs.
    Anty Toyin GOD has already discipline you for me.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Am commenting for the first time.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Am commenting for the first time.

    ReplyDelete
  68. I try not to be any of these to my friends, but I can identify the competitor and the fault finder. We should all strive to be a good friend. do to others what you'd have them do to you...

    ReplyDelete
  69. For me friendship are based on honesty trust good heart and someone you can confide in that is ur confidant. But these days betrayal is very where. Am a lone ranger just hello ,hi friend.

    ReplyDelete
  70. mama D! it was a case of 'do me do me I do you'.

    psquare even sang it.

    you didn't invite her for yours, why should she invite you for hers?

    first to do, no de pain. second to do, eye de red. lol.

    its a draw now...forgive yourselves.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Me i'm the jealous kinda friend. When I like someone I want them all to myself like dude you that person is mine! You ain't allowed to breath around them! Not sure if this is healthy sha lol!

    ReplyDelete
  72. D few friends I hv are actually genuine I Doubt they belong to any of d category!thankGod!!sdk princess

    ReplyDelete
  73. Who come be the bad firend na? Everyone is claiming good. Maybe the category for lie lie friend should be added! Christ!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tire ooooo same question I keep asking myself each time I see post like dis hian everybody na virgin for virgin post kmt

      Delete
  74. Stella Biko one group is missing here. The drama people; this kind of people can fight for state, they like creating scenes at the slightest provocation. They can get into fisticuffs or shouting fits. They can argue like kilode God forbid! I can't deal please.

    ReplyDelete
  75. My immediate elder sista is my bestie..I love her soo much.we support each other and we dey gossip ehnnn.Then Freda.she is more like a sista to me.such a nice girl wit a good heart.I cant wait for my deal to click. I intend to take her shopping n spoil her . them say Benin girls are bad bt Freda is one of a kind . She earns way more than me but I av never been jealous of her.I love you girl. Thats the only person I call my friend apart from my sista..Ooh I forgot. .Ella is dere too.Nice girl very real too.apart from these three ladies,my other friends are married women..I love keeping married women as friends.I learn from them.Shout out to Mrs A and Mrs O. Other people na just aquitances.
    Haa Stella someone I have been helping for a while to secure sometin at d National Assembly calld me today n requested for my acct No.i don receive alert.i can't stop dancing.money I didn't even ask for..Hahahaha. God is Good

    ReplyDelete
  76. I have few friends and see some of these traits in them. Who cares?lol. I'm not deep with them. #IRollSolo.

    ReplyDelete
  77. no 6...fault finder

    ReplyDelete
  78. I don't value friendships at all. I have this one that doubles as promise breaker and discloser. I have since learnt to keep my distance, anything u mention to her she will carry it to her sisters or other friends, then she will be the first to offer to help and I will remind her of how she can disappoint, she will swear that it won't be the case but in the long run na so so dogo magana u go hear. I don't even call her again, if she has time to call we speak based on her reason for calling. I can't deal.

    ReplyDelete
  79. I don't keep friends
    I'm immune to toxic species

    Please visit us @
    www.spillithere.com

    Stella darling,abeg no vex

    ReplyDelete
  80. I gat no friend & am liking it meehn

    ReplyDelete
  81. All of it nd I will start deletin dem frm ma life

    ~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~

    ReplyDelete
  82. Frienship ..a strong word !

    ReplyDelete
  83. I have a friend who feels I keep things away from her and even when I'm far from her wants to know all that is going on with me, which is unusual for me. I'm an introvert. I don't open up a lot except when I want to. I do feel it's a toxic relationship, tho she's a nice person.

    ReplyDelete
  84. The double crosser!!! Stupid girl I thought was my friend. Invited the witch for my bday dinner at one of the most expensive restaurants in manhattan. A guy I rekindled with after many years who was paying for the dinner for all my friends, she began flirting w the guy and gave him her number telling him she has a bf but is still searching. Thirsty ass bitches. I confronted that bitch and the guy seperately. Bitch deleted me from IG, Facebook and BB. I washed my hands off the both of them.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Am so lonely.i don't know if any of the above applies to me oooo,lol

    ReplyDelete
  86. Dear Stella, I want the word "friend" deleted from the dictionary. If you know all what one "friend" did to me eh! I almost physically run from people now! The heart of man is INDEED DESPERATELY* WICKED!!!

    ReplyDelete
  87. I am sorry but Drama stirer must be added to this category. One of my oldest friend she is and not only is she a chronic liar, she is constantly trying to make me feel insecure with my life, offering her opinion on my relationship (it was her opinion that my now husband did not look serious just by looking at his picture) or my lifestyle (I like my life quiet but she seemed to think that meant my life was sad), oh and she was certain about both too. Stirring up drama between my other old friend and I over something that happened 11 years ago... (This is just a tip of the iceberg). In fact my husband got so sick of it all. He told me some friends are just not worth d trouble and he is the least judgemental person I know. I miss her a lot but cleansing my life of her is liberating.

    ReplyDelete
  88. I get one friend wey dey like to dey code.any good thing she no go share... but wants to knw everytin abt my life...she is still my friend thou becos I believe I have a better heart....

    ReplyDelete
  89. A friend is someone that has 50% of your character.before you call someone your friend,ask yourself the above question. Most times people we call friends are actually acquitances,church members, business partners, professional colleagues, associates, same village person, e.t.c.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Some women here are really talking like witches, like seriously when did it become a crime for a woman who decides to buy your kind of stuff because she likes it is competing with your stupid ass.
    Jeeezz, this is so irritating!!!! Was the product made for you alone???!!?? Why are women their own enemies.

    I come from a family of two and I have just a sibling who is a boy, I've always yearned for a sister, I went to uni and meant one, she is also the only girl in her family but she has 6 brothers..

    We carry same hand bags we even buy same colour of clothes, make same hair style. Sometimes when I go to market to buy weaves iand I have the money, I buy same type for her too and vise versa.
    Biko its not a crime for a woman to buy same thing as you so long as she dosnt borrow yours or borrow money from you to buy hers. Even if she borrows yours its not a freaking crime. Do you use all your stuff at once.
    Am not saying there are no bad friends but don't be so deillusional as to thinking that anyone who buys same thing as you is going into a competition with you.
    When one is filled up with so much negativity he/she will begin to think trash about his or her fellow human being.


    ReplyDelete
  91. Uhmn.. I think i have a double crosser as a friend,she is not a friend anymore tho,i dropped her like its hot! Its crazy because we did many things together,i saw her in my future,like our kids will be friends and stuff... But it wasn't going to happen. She didnt invite me for her sisters wedding.. I knew after i saw pictures,i congratulated her... She just said thanks without no "i am sorry,i forgot to invite you".. Mehnn i just dusted my sandals and took a walk..
    OR.. The other friend from high school.. Yes,her family was richer than i am.. But we were kids(high school).. We couldnt be bothered.. But after uni.. Things turned around, i became fresh,i knew "whatsup"... My family was getting up.. I guess she never expected it.. (She was schooling abroad o).. One of her aunts was doing wedding.. Do you she invited everybody except me... LOL! I am now thinking i am the one with problems..
    Atm,i have no friends.. Ohh sorry i do.. Her name is J! She is niceeeee! Albeit,secretive... Na to shield my own secrets too abi? Other than that i am good with acquitances.
    My mom never worries about me not having friends.. My dad is the happiest. Because they say,my Life is close to perfect,i may have a friend who gets Jealous or who is envious.. It could get messy.
    Trust me,it gets boring,soooo boring attimes.. But with the bf i have,when he is not working,he is always there for me.. He told me ild seee friends at every area/junction/juncture of my life... Some good,some bad.. Its mu duty to filter... Nd keep d good ones..

    Sooo sorry for my Long epistle! LOL! Ild keep it brief next time.
    BabyCakes.

    ReplyDelete
  92. What category do i place a friend who gloats when u hit a glitch...was happy my boyfriend went back to his 'supposedly ex, happy i am having issues at work'. How is that somebody a friend sef?

    ReplyDelete
  93. Stella, good morning o. Where are you? Today is friday oooooooo

    ReplyDelete
  94. As i dey so no friend.for this uk if say make u mk friend,na dem go put them self for trouble .and when d yawa gas everybody ben johnson.so i decide to be myself nd my God.

    ReplyDelete
  95. I still have a fault finder friend. She's so full of bitterness that no one does good in her sight. Not surprised her life has not changed over the years. I keep my affairs private from her as much as I can, still praying for her though.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Odiwe Princess. How do you sleep at night?.

    ReplyDelete
  97. With the kind of abusive and horrible comments peeps write here, you all are now claiming to be good? Then who are the bad friends? Point on sisi eko!

    ReplyDelete
  98. tks to the commentator who recommended tears of Nene. ehm these home wreckers they don't cherish what they have and go about spoiling others home. Despite the blessing the naive Nene was to them.

    I no get friend them oh. The real Holy spirit has delivered me. In short I have encounter the Balahms fake men of God and frienemies. I don't look for them they don't look for me. I tell you when your knees is down. you will know who is real to you. it's easy when you have resources not to know who your friends are.

    Self love

    ReplyDelete
  99. This one here can lie for africa. She's also snitch no 1. I've not seen someone who is as jealous as she is. All the bad characters combined in one. Me sha started giving it back to her. And i will continue giving it back to her bumper to fender. She snitched to my guy about something that happened before i met him. It led to our breakup. Ill pay her so bad she wouldn't know what hit her.

    ReplyDelete

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