Do divorced people walk around with a stigma on their head?really?
How do you walk out of a situation that might require divorce?
Na wah!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE.
MOVING ON ISNT EASY
Good morning Aunty Stella. I am a young lady in my mid twenties dating a guy in his early thirties. We have been dating on and off for almost 18 months now. Along the line his ex got pregnant for him during one of our breakups. He told me when we got back that the ex was pregnant but he can never marry her cos I'm the one that makes him happy.
I accepted him back because I love him so much. But since we got back he doesn't show any form of commitment and I never bothered because I know him. Now the ex has given birth but he refused to go and see the child. The issue became a problem for us because I keep insisting that it's not right. I love him very much but a part of me wanted him to make up with his baby mama and he bluntly told me that even if I'm out of the picture that he can never marry her.
I confronted him again about his baby and his lack of commitment in our relationship. He said he is not ready for a woman in his life now that I should move on. He is insisting that I deserve better because I'm a very good girl, that I'm one of the best thing that has happened to him and I don't deserve a man like him. He has deleted me from his bbm and stopped taking my calls because I told him I can't be just friends with him.
I'm so heart broken and devastated. Please BVs how can I get over him? I'm dying inside.....
He has made it easy for you,please love yourself and move on...and try to stop nagging,it makes men do ''on your mark,set,GO!!...They run!
..............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
DIVORCE STIGMA.
Hi all,Has anyone been divorced because they didn't love their partner or because they realised they weren't right for each other?
Has any divorced woman been remarried? How did the guys family treat you? How did you handle the stigma?
I got married in haste (Registry) this year, he wanted me to relocate and join him where he lives and marriage was the only way out, we both used to live here, we met in school and have been together for a while. We've never lived like a married couple or acted like one, the distance encouraged this. Guess we got married for the wrong reasons.
Let me give you a little insight to my person; never had interest in men, didn't fancy marriage so I enjoyed the long distance because of its lack of attachment and unnecessary dependency I see in relationships. I always said I couldn't love and BF knew it, he loved me too much and I couldn't bear not to like him at least. He is a very selfless person, really patient and as days turned into months and years, What meant nothing to me grew into something safe and convenient, love was never the case.
Few months ago, I met this guy, and for the first time, I'm this alive and feel like a different person. He adores me. People say he's hypnotised, I am too. Im gradually letting go of my coldness, took out time to sift through my feelings for him, can't quite make out what it is, but it's stronger than what I have with the guy I'm supposed to get properly married to by end of month. The new guy knows about it. I was able to tell him how cold I am and how I'm a work in progress.
Now the few people who know about my marriage say I can't be divorced, from the moment I got married, I wanted out, however, they say its too early to go through that bla bla bla....I'm in my late 20s. Proper wedding is cancelled though and Boyfriend is willing to sign divorce papers as he has found someone who loves him but my people have said I have to stay put.
I know all about growing in love, and working things out, but the more I try, the more miserable we both become. I already feel like a condemned criminal as I feel guilty, I've sinned against God and feel unforgivable, but somehow I'm happy with this new guy.
how does one work it out with a partner you have no feelings for?
Nsogbu Nsogbu everywhere...
ReplyDeleteStella do a brain check please.....which nagging made him delete her and say she should move on? The guy is a liar and u won't be surprised if he has gone back to his baby mama....my dear move on no need to kill yourself......when a man wants yo end a relationship he looks for any flimsy excuse.....he is not worth your time....don't give in to his baby mama drama..
DeleteHey guys I need your advice. There is this guy who has been asking me out for months. He is married so av been avoiding him. But I like him because he is easy to talk to and is mature in attitude. After 5 months of resisting him...I fell. We did it. Am so ashamed.
ReplyDeleteAnd you shall continue to be ASHAMED of yourself. That is why you go anonymous. Repent & stop sleeping with married men. Women, Stop sleeping with married men!
DeleteHe shall never ever ever leave his wife for you. Keep hanging that leg one on the ceiling fan and the other on burglary proof. He shall never be yours. Lots of love and e hugs.
DeleteLolllzzzz
DeleteWhat advice do you now need????
Ask God for forgiveness and move on
Give your life to Christ
And forgive yourself
And lastly, learn to flee
what exactly do you want us to tell you? With the litany of chronicles that flood here daily,you still went ahead and slept with somebody's husband? I don't know what religion you practice...seek forgiveness from God and if you are truly sincere delete and cut off all forms of communication from this man.There are so many ways this can end but you will be the loser in every one. Give yourself brain oh.
DeleteMy dear do you need advice on.how to wipe out ya shame...or on how to continue sleeping with a married man....we single ladies should realise these married men can go to any length just to get in to our pants to them we are just another flavor to crave for
DeleteSo what do you want us to tell you? You feel ashamed so now what? Please shift.
DeleteHe's mature because he has grown with someone else (his wife) who started with him when you where nowhere.
Keep sleeping with him while preparing yourself for the evil days ahead when his wife gets you. You probably like drama.
So what advice do you need? How to stop feeling ashamed or how to do it more?
DeleteSo wetin come happen?
DeleteWats the guilt about? How mny rounds una do#shine teeth.. We married men sure know how to take care of our cuties..*kisses*
Delete#egbaboy
So u r looking for advice on how to undo wat u did?
DeleteIdiot! U really have a problem. What do u need advice for?? Ok, like mama patience "contiunuu"
DeleteAs long as you know that the main reason a married man always asks a single woman out is MAINLY FOR SEX. Now you guys have "done it" , all that is left if for the illicit relationship to dwindle down to nothingness once he has chopped your kpekus to his satisfaction..... As long as you know that the main reason a married man always asks a single woman out is MAINLY FOR SEX. Now you guys have "done it" , all that is left if for the illicit relationship to dwindle down to nothingness once he has chopped your kpekus to his satisfaction..
DeleteU DID IT!!!!
Deleteso what advice are you asking for then??? or you are looking for who will console you and encourage you to continue??
my dear, it doesnt matter how easy to talk to the man is. the issue is he is a married man so leave him the hell alone.
You should be very ashamed. Why would you hook up with someone else's husband? What type of advice should we give u? Mmmnnsshhhh
DeleteSo wot advice do u need? U knew he's married and yet u fell for him yakata. I pray d wife catches u and teach u d lesson of your life. Mtceww. Don't go and look for your own man.
DeleteMy dear, uv always wntd him from d word go. Save urself d talky talky n enjoy it while it lasts. Sa no let d wife catch u cos as it is, no1 can talk u out of it.
DeleteNo be only advice an slap! mtschewwww
DeleteLooool. See you mouth " after 5 mnths of resisting him..." Msheew. don't u just sound like a toad!
DeleteHe don shine ur bottom nw,u ought to be ashamed,biko move on and leave him alone
DeleteGo and sin no more child. Ok
DeleteWhat are you ashamed of? Will that stop you from doing it again? Mbah nu nu!!! Cos u definitely will! You know his married n you still did it n say you're in love....biko park one corner my dear.
DeleteNne u r confused.
DeleteYou people should chill with the castigation.
DeleteShe's supposedly ashamed already. No need adding extra salt to her injury.
I really do not understand why married men don't respect themselves.
Chasing a single girl for five months, your wife's punani no do you enough ?
Aunty, you too flee from all appearances of evil.
Advice ni! Na wa o!
DeleteI am free and single, you no come make we talk how we go take dey help each other, na married man you come go give.
DeleteI comment my reserve in Dame's Voice...
I like him. After 5 months of resisting him, I fell, we did it am so ashamed. Stupid girl, so u like him more than his wife abi? Just say I like what u stand to gain and STFU. Can anyone believe this thing? Hia
DeleteThe only advise i have for you is to BE PREPARED because a young woman will also "fall and do it" with ur hubby when you get married. BE PREPARED!!!
Delete@ Mister Man ..yimu..Agbaya :) All u married men out there taking care of ur cuties abi..Whilst u r all out there doing ur shit..do u really know what ur wives are doing at home with other men on all these chat platforms we now have. That's how one married woman here the other day was saying how some married men sent her pics of their dicks. :)
DeleteAnyway as for u poster. .u really should feel ashamed but I do hope d feeling of shame is strong enough to stop u from repeating this shameful act whether it's with this married man or any other married man for that matter.
@ original poster 1 delete all his contact details and social media handles from your phone so that you can't even contact him even if you are tempted to. Then allow yourself to grieve the end of the relationship properly then you can start to move on.
Poster 2 The Grass is not always greener, also believe me love changes it's form after a few years of marriage. You will still love your spouse but it won't be this intense love you feel at the start of a new relationship or marriage, my point being whether you stay with someone or marry someone should not be based on this type of feeling alone.
Oh shut up all you self righteous biatches! She did it with a married man, but it took two people to do the deed. She's actually ashamed, many of you forming holy Holy here sleep with married men with impunity! Poster, it's good that you feel shame, that is a sign that your conscience is alive and well. You can now make sure that it doesn't happen again.
Deletewhat did he say the babymama did? and why as he refused to go see the child, your story isn't complete miss.. u dated him on & off for 18months am sure all those period he was with the babymama and you were the on and off chick.. women we are really our own enemies.. divorce can be hard people just always have negative things to say...
ReplyDeleteNarrative no 1) you too born for him, hook him down with a baby. Sit on a sofa and watch how is going to treat you and your child. And if he doesn't treat you and your child well biko born another one.... keep getting geting pregnant till he ga no choice but to treat u like a queen b that you are.
DeleteNarrative 2) just pray with anointing oil. Do a dry fasting for 40days and nights by then u will begin to have feelings for him. Hold him tight cos some lonely husband snatchers are waiting to takeover from you
Lmao
DeleteLol This bitter pussy don craze finish
DeleteBwhahahhahahahahahaha.
DeleteNarrative 1...Dude has reconciled with his babymama. All na wash. You deserve better bla bla bla...he never loved you.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2... there is hope for the divorced. Be hopeful. Since your husband has decided to remarry, well...
Don't just put your hope on the new guy.
XOXO MYSTERY
Narrative 1, all dat yarn about u being too good to b true na story story. He's with his baby mama or anoda chic. Wake up. It's d oldest break up line in history. "It's not me it's u" bullcrap
DeleteInfact you smart, you too much. Your response to poster one is exactly what I thought as I kept reading. The guy is a terrible somebody.
DeleteAll these 20 something ladies, when will you learn to love yourself and not die because of chewing gum boys and men. This is not the end of the world. you all have a whole lot to live on.
ReplyDelete"I love him so much i cant live without him" make una sofrey sofrey dey lie. Is it by fire by force to love someone who dont need you at the end. Abeg take am easy oooo. You will see good men that will appreciate you all
I say the same thing o. Desperadoes everywhere! And men can smell an insecure woman a mile off.
DeleteI NEVER go out of my way to impress a guy or show too much emotion too early. It's ok ladies to guard your love and heart. Let a man prove himself. You can tell if a man is crazy about you ; You would not have to bend over backwards to please him. Ladies learn to put yourselves first as men always do the same. Do not give more than what you are being given. #okbye
I agree with you Loveme jeje and Anon 4:02.
DeleteI always advice girls to go for a guy who loves them more. That way, he will be the one doing heaven and earth to please you.
I'm not ready to worship any man.
I'm the woman, the Queen, the priceless gem, the one men should hustle to impress, win and keep, the Oriaku and Odoziaku, the morning star, the mirror of the home and most importantly the one that should be worshiped.
That's how to roll ladies. Trust me.
Love yourself first.
Do this then come back and thank me later.
I'm a 20something yr old lady. And trust me I don't even Hv time for men. They are only useful when my girls aren't in town for me to hang with, or when I need assistance. I'm so happy being single.
DeletePick my bag and travel whenever, wherever... Talk to whoever, however. I actually pity girls who are in relationships. For me, I've told God, bring my husband in one piece or let them keep fooling themselves. No time for emotional 'bf' stress.
But many ladies like me, with all the beauty in the world, are atill very insecure. I feel sorry for them. But what can I say? If you talk, they say u are single still. So I sip wine and mope!
Boyfriend? Stress me out?!! You will end up frustrating yourself.
Loveme jeje u ve said it all. Pls young ladies go for guys that loves u more to avoid stories that touch.
Deletegenny baby...me likey you
Deleteweird world
ReplyDeleteAnyone who uses that phrase am not good enough for you" is just making a silky excuse how about making yourself good enough. Rubbish!
DeleteD only thing I have to say is pls go and watch the Movie "TEMPTATION "
ReplyDeletePls share link of the movie. Thanks
DeleteThat is narrative 2
ReplyDelete@ poster number, I think you are not giving us the full details .When a story makes .no sense it means lies.
ReplyDeleteOriegwu
ReplyDeleteWaitin fr comments sha
ReplyDelete~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
Narrative 1
ReplyDeleteYou just have to move on with your life. When a man doesn't want you, he doesn't want you, no need being devastated just move on with your life.
Narrative 2
Please there is no stigma attached to divorce, you rushed in and rushed out, learn from your mistake and move on.
Your comment will be visible after approval
I really dont have any advice for you.
ReplyDeleteBUT I can totally relate to you. this is my first time ever commenting on here.
You wont be able to love the guy you did the registry with. What you have with the new guy may not even be love or it may not last but at least, it has gotten you to feel. Now that you can feel...you would find it easier to love someone else if need be.
I am a bit cold myself. I probably wont want to date me. I have been in your position..a perfect sefless guy wanting to marry me...I said NO. Because I knew I would just keep benefitting from his love without really giving back.
I believe in man know thy self. You should have taught this through before getting married. You are not necessarily cold...you are just not an overly emo person and where not really ready for love.
Sorry about your ish sha.
*confuse face*
DeleteLemme read again..
Rudegirl Nothing to be confused about. 2:40 is the only one that appears to understand the 2nd story thus far. It was not well narrated so I understand your confusion
DeletePoster 1: how do you know he hasn't gone to see his baby? Because he said so? I suspect he's under pressure to marry his baby mama and is trying to let you down gently. Take the hint and move on please. There are other fish in the ocean.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: some inconsistencies in your story. You never had any interest in men yet you've been with your man for a while, then you agreed to a hasty long distance marriage. Why?
I wish you luck in sorting out your emotions.
Stella ,this one reach to give u toothache back even as u don comot the teeth .
ReplyDeletePoster 1, why do some women love when they r treated bad?i am sure that when u guys had ur break u were faithful n yet he got someone pregnant.That should tell u that nigga aint loyal.Secondly,he tells u its u he loves bla bla do u see he is selfish he wants to bottle u up in the drama,finally, he says he does not want to see the baby(an innocent baby that did not ask to be brought to this world),he then tells u he does not want a woman now ,is this the kind of man u want to drink phensic all the days of ur life for ?and u r asking how to what?Carry ur bum bum depending on the size and swing from left to right as u walk .God has saved u from had i known especially now that he is asking u to leave.
poster 2, ur family members do not know where it is paining them.If na registry abegi go back to the registry and do the needful, i am not sure that even God(white wedding) n ur village(trad wedding) knows u r married yet biko meaning if both r yet undone then get to the registry and ask questions pls.Tho some will tell u court abi registry marriage is a marriage but alone?Its still early, if he has found someone who makes him happy you have both seen the go sign.Do not confine urselves,marriage is tough enough as it is to even be in a loveless home.Go out there n love the one u have felt love for and who loves u too.Love is beautiful.
I love your comment Salt E. You just saved me the energy as I feel too sick and weak dealing with this after surgery pains to type anything.
DeleteAll the best to both posters.
#1. Plz move on with your life, this guy has made everyting so easy for u, he confirmed hes not d right man for u, i pray u meet someone who will appriciate u.
ReplyDelete#2. Sorry i dont understand this ur post! Let me go back and read again.
Poster 1, the guy has already told u that he is not ready nau, why don't u let go and concentrate to looking for a more serious guy?
ReplyDeletePoster 2, Stella abeg shift for me make I join u siddon. I just want read comments from relationship advisers
Is this absu justina Michael?
Deleteposter 2,yes u need 2 wait for atleast 2years b4 court can grant ur divorce o,one of d reasons is bcos de tink dere should b room 4 reconciliation,dere ar some grounds dat u can use 2 convince d court dat ur marriage has bn broken down irretrievably but ths issue of i dont love him is not there so wot pple do is wait 4 2years stayin apart and dat is a good ground,,poster 1,am sorry pleas
ReplyDeleteStella make i join u sit down joor.
ReplyDeleteHmmm
ReplyDelete1: Some women sha!
ReplyDeleteYou stayed till you were completely ridiculed! What a shame.
Gross irresponsibility towards his child.
Gross irresponsibility towards you.
Yet you persevered till he deleted you from his life patapata.
Haba! Have some respect for yourself in future.
2: If I understand you correctly, your husband is in the know of your decision and is ready to sign divorce papers(shouldn't the marriage just be annulled?). Your only problem are your people?
You don't have a problem. The person you owe is your poor husband. I wish you hadn't strung him along. Since he's ready to let you go and has found love elsewhere, face your relationship with your new BF, nature it and make it work. The most important ingredient is love which hopefully, is in the picture this time. Of course, you have to give it some time before flaunting him publicly.
You acted really selfishly and didnt treat your husband fairly but hey, life is not fair. If you don’t take care of yourself, who will?
But the 2 of you are not "pure" sha o. Within a few months, you found someone else and he found another love too. Una try.
Lol
DeleteGold scent sha.
Una no pure indeed..
Goldscent, you harsh ooo
DeleteLol@the two of them not been pure.
Pls such is life oo, happiness is paramount , and marriage is a lifetime constitution not to be happy
Goldscent!
DeleteI so agree with ur comment
U said it all
This should be annulled already
And stigmatization?
Re u for real?
When did moving on with ur life by getting a divorce become. disease?
Ur case is easy cos u don't even have kids!
Am a divorcee with grown kids
And a proud one @ that
I feel am much better than those never married
No stigmatization cos haven't expenrience any!
Poster 1..nigga told you he don't want to marry hes baby mama, and also refused to go see he's baby and you believe him?
ReplyDeleteSomebody lied!!! Very soon you'll see their wedding pictures! He deleted you from he's bbm nd stopped taking your calls cos he don't want nothing to do with you so please do yourself a favor and move on!
All this off and on relationship,life is too short for that.
Poster two..make I read comments
His not he's.
DeleteMy battle Btw his & he's will never end.Thanks
DeleteStella, i beg you die... This is my story really. I have been off and on with one guy for 5 years going to six. I have no love where he is but i care. He loves me to a fault and is there for me a 1000 percent. But i am so closed off. I have been in love before and i was the best really, i only broke up with my ex because he was betrothed to some other girl.. A common tradition in his place and so if i marry him i will be 2nd wife even though he doesn't marry the girl and she has rights and shares to his stuff. My dad and mum didn't support so it gradually fizzled that is when i met this guy and i cant open up to his. I am trying so hard to like him or like what he does. Everyone says love will come but i don't want to be with someone out of pity. I have told him but he keeps insisting that it is me or no one else. I moved to the US, he came looking for me. I got back he still on my case. I am about to move again he is asking me to see my parents before i go. I do not want to do that because i do not want him. He keeps saying he will wait. All the while i have been in Nigeria, i do not hang out with him, inshort i have gone on dates with guys. I have put up pictures with guys on my whatsapp still he says it is me or nothing. I am going to travel and i wont tell him my destination. This is how i intend to handle it because it is just too much. I wish someone i really love will be on my case this much.
ReplyDeleteReally sad....
Heyaaaa
DeleteSorry
Pls send. Him my way oh
DeleteHeiya! Amen dear. And i feel for that guy already
DeleteNot trying to judge you babe.....but I think that guy loves you for him to have gone this length and he is not moved, why not try to love him. Look out for one good attribute he has that you like so much.maybe that will open your eyes.I think is better to go with a man that loves you more than the one you love more.
DeleteMy dear, running away won't Solve this. TAlk to him and malke him understand you totally don't want him at All.
DeleteAnon 2:48
DeletePlease to give that guy a chance. It might seem hard because you haven't bothered to make it wor.
Men who worship the ground you walk on are rare, they make the best husbands because they can never deliberately hurt you. In short, his type gives peace of mind.
Please try and give him a chance, then if it doesn't work you'll know you at least tried.
From what you wrote, I think he genuinely loves you.
Don't push him away, in 10 years time, you might regret it. His type are rare, I repeat.
Pray for wisdom.
U better find how u wud love him bcos its beta a man loves u more dan d PPP, u might regret o.. Make u no go tey for shelf ooo my sister
DeleteAww it is sad when love is not reciprocated, my dear some men can be so adamant, reminds me of a guy who I even had to lie that I'm in a serious relationship, thinking he'll fret and let me be.
DeleteMba oooo, the guy no let me be, says unless I walk down the aisle anything is still possible
The kind of husband I'm praying for.... Baba God, you know all the things I talk to you about nau *winks*
DeleteThis just sounds like my story, I never wanted to marry from another tribe, the guy chased me every single day. Spends all his evenings @ mine everyday. Didn't like him @ all, ignored him, dated someone else that got me pregnant & left me. This guy still came back into the pic, chasing me up every single day, spends his after working hours with me, but I still didn't like him. Before I knew it he insisted on seeing my parents, but gave me only 2 4 hours notice before he appeared with his people. Before I knew it, we were married. Believe me, I'm glad I married him, he's the best husband I could ever ask for. Takes care of my child like the other kids, not one even knows he's not the father & he never tells anyone ever. So Abeg give him a chance, there's nothing as sweet as marrying a guy that loves you more.
DeletePoster 1 pls try move on. There's no time for Awón oniranu. One minute u mk him happy, the nxt second he's nt ready for a woman in his life. Hian! A man that goes bk to his ex, impregnated her & thereafter rejects her & the baby isn't worth ur tears. He's obviously a confused overgrown baby who doesn't knw what he wnts. Shior!
ReplyDeleteAre u minding the poster. Love ko hate ni.
DeleteLol @ oniranu. I like that word
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
first commenter: that is life, yu can never force someone to love yu. be strong ok bcos with tym yu will really see someone that love yu for yu.
secondly postes: ok this is what i have for yu "THUNDER SCATTER YOU, EWU GAMBIA"
*GLO BRING 3G TO KONTAGORA*
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Poster 1: I am sure he is seeing his baby mama. He was just acting up cos he didn't know how to break up with you. Just move on ok. Engage in things that makes you happy. Also confide in a trusted relative or friend to see you through this trying time and help you get over the heartbreak.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I hope you know what you are doing. Seems like you have already made up your mind. You are just looking for people to justify your decision. The guy certainly deserves to be with a woman that loves him. I do hope you wont wake up one morning and realize that you have traded your gold for copper.
Poster 1: if a guy tells you that you are too good for him and he doesn't deserve you- believe him!! He knows what he is talking about. Move on please. He just let you down easy.
ReplyDelete@1,instead make you go buy beer for the guy,thank am wella for not stringing you along then dumping you after wasting so many of your productive years,you dey ask how you go move on???
ReplyDeleteA guy who treats his own baby so cold,deletes you from BBM and stops picking your calls,has told you plainly to MOVE ON...Sis,ACCEPT IT'S OVER;like he said,you deserve better,wipe the tears,hang out with friends,keep yourself happy...in time and with God's help,you would look back and smile! #e-hugs#
@2,waiting to read comments too.
@1, if the guy deleted u from his bb it means it's over, he has reconciled with his baby mama don't let him deceive u, all na wash wash.
ReplyDelete@2, if ur so called hubby has found someone else y not let him go, it's obvious marriage b/w u 2 can never work cos there is no love, plz divorce him and move on, i pray u open ur heart to love cos love is a beautiful thing.
Narrative one: una nor dey tire for this blog. So many shitty examples of how to treat women and you still see them asking 'what do i do?' Pathetic; please scroll down to previous Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative and you shall find the answer you seek.
ReplyDeleteNarrative two: How are you sure this new boy will stick around after the divorce? Things don spoil with your husband sef as e don like another person. And your family want you to stick with him? You're in a sticky situation; no advise for you sorry.
Poster 1: I am sure he is seeing his baby mama. He was just acting up cos he didn't know how to break up with you. Just move on ok. Engage in things that makes you happy. Also confide in a trusted relative or friend to see you through this trying time and help you get over the heartbreak.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I hope you know what you are doing. Seems like you have already made up your mind. You are just looking for people to justify your decision. The guy certainly deserves to be with a woman that loves him. I do hope you wont wake up one morning and realize that you have traded your gold for copper.
Poster 1: I am sure he is seeing his baby mama. He was just acting up cos he didn't know how to break up with you. Just move on ok. Engage in things that makes you happy. Also confide in a trusted relative or friend to see you through this trying time and help you get over the heartbreak.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I hope you know what you are doing. Seems like you have already made up your mind. You are just looking for people to justify your decision. The guy certainly deserves to be with a woman that loves him. I do hope you wont wake up one morning and realize that you have traded your gold for copper.
My dear, divorce no easy o. Same issue with me o. i had a distance partner i got married to in 2008 and it was living in hell the one year we shared before the marriage packed up. I never knew that, he doesn't touch woman. No love making, no touching touching, if i sit close to him, he will say that I'm seducing him. I tried all i could to help o. That was how marriage ended o. Problem since them o, settling down again no easy till date. The few people i met said they are christian that they cannot marry a divorce woman whose ex-husband is still a life. Even with the divorce papers from court, church separation Im still hoping in God Almighty.
ReplyDeleteBabe u no sharp at all oh. Unless you have a child. I'm also a divorcee at 27yrs, no children. I no dey tell anybody oh. And I'm getting married again next year. Biko keep that info to yourself next time.
DeleteTell those people to go and seek genuine counselling from unbiased men of God. Ever read the scripture that says: "If the unbelieving walks away, the believer is not bound" Us Christians need to stop religion and really read the bible.
DeleteHowever, in the case where two Born again Christians want a divorce, for whatever flimsy reason, the bible condemns. In that case, death can be an exception.
So when a man who doesn't even know God wanders away and wives are waiting and vice versa, I marvel. Anyhoo, my Aunty prayed her wanderer husband back to her life for 11 yrs and he not only returned, but became a pastor. So lemme not generalize......
Poster 1: I am sure he is seeing his baby mama. He was just acting up cos he didn't know how to break up with you. Just move on ok. Engage in things that makes you happy. Also confide in a trusted relative or friend to see you through this trying time and help you get over the heartbreak.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I hope you know what you are doing. Seems like you have already made up your mind. You are just looking for people to justify your decision. The guy certainly deserves to be with a woman that loves him. I do hope you wont wake up one morning and realize that you have traded your gold for copper.
Gaddammit!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 2 u seriously need deliverance! How are you sure your short span attention will not crash this new relationship?
My thoughts exactly.
Deletena wa oh, nsogbu dikwa,
ReplyDeletepost. no 1: i hv z feeling d guy nd baby mama don get back together, but he is either too scared to tell or doesnt want to hurt your feelings.
post no.2 marriage no be bed of roses oh, but again, if u think u will keep feeling miserable, do the guy a favour and leave, he deserves dat much.
Poster 1: I am sure he is seeing his baby mama. He was just acting up cos he didn't know how to break up with you. Just move on ok. Engage in things that makes you happy. Also confide in a trusted relative or friend to see you through this trying time and help you get over the heartbreak.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I hope you know what you are doing. Seems like you have already made up your mind. You are just looking for people to justify your decision. The guy certainly deserves to be with a woman that loves him. I do hope you wont wake up one morning and realize that you have traded your gold for copper.
Stella,me sef go join u wait for comments.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: I am sure he is seeing his baby mama. He was just acting up cos he didn't know how to break up with you. Just move on ok. Engage in things that makes you happy. Also confide in a trusted relative or friend to see you through this trying time and help you get over the heartbreak.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I hope you know what you are doing. Seems like you have already made up your mind. You are just looking for people to justify your decision. The guy certainly deserves to be with a woman that loves him. I do hope you wont wake up one morning and realize that you have traded your gold for copper.
Poster 1: I am sure he is seeing his baby mama. He was just acting up cos he didn't know how to break up with you. Just move on ok. Engage in things that makes you happy. Also confide in a trusted relative or friend to see you through this trying time and help you get over the heartbreak.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I hope you know what you are doing. Seems like you have already made up your mind. You are just looking for people to justify your decision. The guy certainly deserves to be with a woman that loves him. I do hope you wont wake up one morning and realize that you have traded your gold for copper.
Poster 1: I am sure he is seeing his baby mama. He was just acting up cos he didn't know how to break up with you. Just move on ok. Engage in things that makes you happy. Also confide in a trusted relative or friend to see you through this trying time and help you get over the heartbreak.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I hope you know what you are doing. Seems like you have already made up your mind. You are just looking for people to justify your decision. The guy certainly deserves to be with a woman that loves him. I do hope you wont wake up one morning and realize that you have traded your gold for copper.
Poster 1: I am sure he is seeing his baby mama. He was just acting up cos he didn't know how to break up with you. Just move on ok. Engage in things that makes you happy. Also confide in a trusted relative or friend to see you through this trying time and help you get over the heartbreak.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I hope you know what you are doing. Seems like you have already made up your mind. You are just looking for people to justify your decision. The guy certainly deserves to be with a woman that loves him. I do hope you wont wake up one morning and realize that you have traded your gold for copper.
Jug ooooooo
Deletewetin
Hian...e don do naaa
DeleteJug we Hv heard oh!
DeleteNarrative 1, move on base. Are you sure he's not discharging you to go marry baby mama? Narrative 2, I can't advice you cos me never marry,I dey use torchlight find husband for day time. Lol
ReplyDeleteNarrative #1# the guy made it easier for you, u don't need all dis drama,just move on with ur life biko....narrative#2# I don't understand ur story,so man inconsistencies!
ReplyDelete@2 did the man pay your bride price? If not, there was no marriage; read your bible very well; when was the Church called "the bride of Christ"; how many marriages took place in the registry or synagogue in the scriptures; is it not in the bride's home that marriages take place?. Except your people refused to receive the bride price from him. Above all, give your life to Christ and study your bible to understand the mystery of marriage which is Christ and the Church as in Eph. chapter five
ReplyDeleteThank you oh!
DeletePlease read your bibles well and study Btwn lines. God is not a wicked God, he has all his terms and conditions on marriage. Ppl just be doing hear say!
Poster 2, better let that man go and face ya life! Cos me I don't see mere court as marriage. You aren't recognized by the church (by bringing your marriage before God) or tradition (which is even the main marriage, not court)
Will just wait Ãήϑ read comments cos I don't just get it. Dis narratives na wa
ReplyDelete*Force n deceit*
*Vee*
@ loveme jeje, you aint sewious o. U really got me laughing
ReplyDeleteStella is one of d realest lady on earth. Love her soooooooooooo much. Narrator number last, you better stay put in ur marriage. What is even d assurance that d new guy will marry u....I pray GOD directs ur path.
ReplyDeleteCan u find another name to comment on?...which kind thing be this Biko?
DeleteKikikikikikwakwakwa.....
DeleteWell first story he just found an easy way to walk away , you should move on too.
ReplyDeleteStory two just do an annulment of the marriage so it just means you were never married instead of getting a divorce. Well your People are acting out the script society plays on us all. Things must go a certain way not caring how the person involved feels. May God lead you all.
Miss anonymous u r ashamed of what?u slept with the married man and u want us to tell u sorry?my dear what u r looking for is validation to go ahead either from fellow side chics or whoever cares.But what i will tell u is there is nothing like "i like him",cos whether u like it or not u r his accomplice so nobody will judge u cos we r not God but what i always ask is "what if another girl likes ur husband and oops they do it as well"how will u feel when u find out.There, u have ur answer my beautiful love.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: I have this feeling that the guy has gone back to his baby mama bcos of his child and also needs to concentrate on making things for out between them which can't be possible with you in the picture. He has made it easier 4 u. Try n move on. Get busy and u'll be fine.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: both of u have found your separate partners, even if u decide to make thing work by trying to love him, the question is this, is he ready to make things work? Think abt it
Poster 1: I have this feeling that the guy has gone back to his baby mama bcos of his child and also needs to concentrate on making things for out between them which can't be possible with you in the picture. He has made it easier 4 u. Try n move on. Get busy and u'll be fine.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: both of u have found your separate partners, even if u decide to make thing work by trying to love him, the question is this, is he ready to make things work? Think abt it
Love this blog. Learn every day
ReplyDeleteposter 1, pls move on FASTER sef
ReplyDeleteposter 2, annul d tin nd b apy
Reading comments....
ReplyDeleteHappy New Month Friends.Thanks for taking out time to vote for us everyday, we are very grateful. Please the voting continues and you can keep voting for us every 24Hrs. Thanks for the luv. http:/woobox.com/dymgeb/vote/for/5292277.
Reading comments....
ReplyDeleteHappy New Month Friends.Thanks for taking out time to vote for us everyday, we are very grateful. Please the voting continues and you can keep voting for us every 24Hrs. Thanks for the luv. http:/woobox.com/dymgeb/vote/for/5292277.
N1, The guy don waka. N2, this is no marriage, you said you don't love him so...
ReplyDeleteposter 1...b wise.u wer d side chick all along..baby mama is d main chick..he is askn u to go cuz it is time for hm to gt responsibl n do ryt by hs kid n woman..he has to choose n he chose dem.open ur eyes.he is playn on ur intellignc..wen a man says he dosnt like a prtcular woman..u shud b watchfl cuz daz d one he actually lovs..smokescreen tins.
ReplyDeleteposter 2 i cnt fit to understnd ur yarns...no comment
It is well wit u all, I even scrolled down to the end 2 see if I will find recharge card but yet nothing Choi!!! Pls bv's have been begging ooo I need recharge card 2 sell to transport myself to school and also to help myself in school or if their is anyone willing 2 assist wit any menial job that I can do pls ooo. Tanx and God bless u all.
ReplyDeleteWomen....We never learn. Am really trying to understand why a guy who says he loves you will ask you to go with the excuse of you deserve better.Babes, that guy has likely reconciled with his baby mama.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2:Its only in this part of the world that people believe that a divorced woman won't find another man that will love and adore her, but am glad that belief is gradually loosing its stand,I've seen cases where a divorced mother of 3 found a never married before guy that loves her and eventually married her.So my dear, nothing do you. Love is beautiful if we find that right person.
Poster one: d guy has told u to go just do so though is not easy but give ursef some credit and like he said u deserve more so b grateful dat he said it bcz if is some guys dey will cont to fool u till d day u will notice. Poster 2: Hmmmmmn am short of words, u no wat ur problem was? U hastenily made a decision dat u were suppose to think properly b4 taking dat step.......but u just have to follow ur heart
ReplyDeleteEvery Aboki with him kettle.
ReplyDeleteDo you stay in PH? Madam general supply is here. We supply all home/office stationeries/toiletries, authentic liquid soap, liquid soup, sanitizers, affordable camisols/office wears, souvenirs, we help do all ur home shopping ranging from provissions, food items, chicken/turkey, beaf, fish -all kinds, furnitures etc and anything supplyable. Pls support a house wife/mother of four kids whose children ve been thrown out of school.08138272214. If una get job pls help. I ve over 10yrs experience as a Banker n my last position in d Bank was as am HOP but age had been a problem securing a new job as new bank mandate seek below age 28. Any job I go do. God bless u all.
#1: judging by your write-up, it appears your ex has a questionable character and you are better off without him. Why were you guys on again and off again for 18months? Clearly, the relationship had issues. While both of you were on hiatus , he knocked up his ex who now has his child. A child he has refused to see, in spite of your plea. He even had the impertinence to tell you that even if you were out of the picture, he still wouldn't marry the baby mama he had unprotected sex with.
ReplyDeleteAfter you guys reconciled, he became distant and commitment free. You confronted him, only for him to bathe you with platitudes, crowning it with the infamous "it's not you, it's me" line most spineless guys use to breakup with girls they weren't really into in the 1st place. Sweetie, can't you see how he reeks of inconsistencies and contradictions? In this age where a lot of girls have the morals of a stray cat, which sane guy will breakup with you because "you are a very good girl, you are the best thing that happened to him but, you don't deserve him"??? What a load of garbage! I had to rewrite most of what you wrote, so you can see what a punk he is and how fortunate you are that he brokeup with you. Honey, you just dodged a bullet.
I wouldn't be surprised he has been with his ex even when you were dating him. He probably is shagging her right now. Darling, I know it hurts now but you'll get over the pain eventually. Take it a day at a time. Do things you derive pleasure from. Go out with friends and occupy your mind with positive things. I can assure you that one day, you'll ask yourself how you ever dated such a guy. Sometimes you need to date a horrible guy to appreciate a good one. All the best, my love. #e-bearhugs.
Ronalda darling, your comments always wow me, I must confess.
DeleteIf I were a guy, I would have "wifed you" since. LOL
I'm your greatest fan.
E-hugs
Awwww! Genny my love, what a coincidence! You're easily one of my favourites here as well. Good thing we love writing "epistles". Lol! I always look forward to reading your comments. Thanks for the compliments. #e-bearhugs.
DeleteHow i love u Ronalda!!! I dont need your consent, we are friends already!! Kikikikkiki
DeleteGenny baby! Blow me kisses to your cute angel
At SDK it's really tough to move on from a relationship were you are deeply in love.
ReplyDeletego easy on the poor chick.
@Sabongida Ora Cutest, heres my mail id, jayden84real@gmail.com. hope u grt 2day and pls send d mail with enuf proofs (lol), just kidding pls.
Deleteposter 1, if he hates his baby mama so much, how did she get pregnant? My dear, lick ur wounds and move on. cry all u want, you'll be fine....do not sleep with him when he comes back, cos he will come back for sex!
ReplyDeleteLook at those feet.... Dayum! Loving ur profile pic jare. Killer heels.
DeletePoster 1, he openly asked you to move on then what else are you waiting for? Move on jare, with time you will get over him.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Hmnnnmnmnn, you dont just marry and divorce then marry and divorce again. That is why marriage is not for the faint hearted. So what if you marry this guy number 2 and you meet someone else again? Abi I nor read the story well?
Thanku oooooo. That means she will divorce again niyen
DeleteAbeg move on jaree and get over him
ReplyDeletereal nsogbu everywhere
OP1: Frankly I'm usually puzzled by ladies like you... shuo! na wetin you dey find sef? Trouble???
ReplyDeleteThe guy got another lady pregnant, you still dey there. He is showing himself to be irresponsible and not willing to take care of his own child, you dey there.
Love is not blind o... but sometimes it can be foolish.
Girl, my fifty cents is, realize that the only truth he's ever told you is that you deserve better than him and get rid of him and forget him, forever.
OP2: I don't even know what to say. What do you think marriage is, a walk in the park? Have no advice for divorce for you. But if you start doing stuff with new guy, you are breaking your vows, offending God and breaking the law.
That's all I gotta say.
Narrator1, He never left his baby mama! He fooled you!
ReplyDeleteNarrator2, The love is no longer there, don't, make both of your lives miserable!
The anonymous who slept with a married, he has gotten what he wants! You are another statistics to his game!
Everyday, ladies are advised to avoid married men but they don't hear! The wife will have gone through a lot to make him the man he is which he will go and share outside! Single ladies, married men only want you for sex! As you want them for their money! Don't be desperate and go diabolical to destroy his marriage or get pregnant for him!
Tell the men to value and appreciate the wives who stood by them too!! They should leave small girls, who have nothing but sex to offer them, alone too!!
DeleteNo advise mbok
ReplyDeleteReading on egg donation mbok
Make I stop to dey waste my eggs every month
Poster one abeg move on with your life , it's soo obvious your bf wants to make up with his baby mama, better for you shaa move on forget him
ReplyDeletePoster 2: from what I read you don't know what you want.Are u a 16 years old ? Are u sure it's love you feel for the second guy ? Don't throw away diamonds while looking for stones ...........I prefare a man that loves me oo
Poster 1 Move on shaperly! While at it, give thanks to God for saving you from your bf. The guy was just toying with your emotion. He had wanted to eat his cake and have it knowing you love too much. All his gra-gra that he doesnt want to see his"ex" na lie. Babe, love your self first before you go into another relationship, inugo.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 You were never married as far as am concerned, it was more for convenience than love. Remember all those giving you advise won't live with you. You wear the shoes and only you can say how painful it is. l also think it's better now than when kids joins the equation. In future, be honest with whomever you decide to marry and if He loves you, He will marry you divorced or not.
Utuocha
Poster 1: Guy has gone back to his babymama. All that excuse of not good enough na lie to keep you away. But count your blessings, the wahala that comes with babymama drama ehn. Have some dignity pls and don't beg him. Good men exist, I have met many. I'm currently about to marry one too*shinesteeth*
ReplyDeletePoster 2: The grass is always greener where you water it and not on the other side. Go watch Fireproof or Tyler Pery's Temptation. The man you are about to give up has someone grabbing him too soon, u should ask yourself that question. Probably someone has seen how kind and amazing he is. However, how the both of you have moved on so fast is surprising to me. As much as I wont advice you to stay in a loveless marriage, I would also say look before you leap.
Nadia
Poster 1. The guy wasnt lying when he said u deserve better, he's been playing u all along,hes got absolutely no plans for u,dont be surprised when he gets married to his babymama.get real,move on .
ReplyDeleteposter 2. Marriage aint child's play , it takes not only love but a whole lot more to make it work.search within urself and do what u feel is right..........
D girl dat slept with a married man its not only u dat would be ashamed d married man must also be ashamed AMEN.any evil wished upon d single girl must fall on d married man cos dey r in it together.married women pls let's stop castigating d girls and petting our husbands.u need to see d way some husbands fool themselves
ReplyDeleteI love you for this!!
DeleteAlways the girls. It just has to be the girls. The husbands wey dey chase nko? Some of these married men are very irritating. Would be behaving like fools. Abuse them from now till next year they would be hovering around, like vultures. Imagine one telling me 'he has nothing to live for' all because I work in a consulting firm and was trying to help him structure his business, at a reduced fee. Even begging my boss to pity him and let's structure for him as he lost his job and was using his savings to set up. D day his pestering became too much, I moved the account to a male colleague of mine. Next thing I get is a text 'what am I living for if you are no longer there to give me financial advice' oh! I insulted that man that day!! Imagine a married man with kids sending a girl text that he has nothing to live for. And one stupid girl would fall for it. I now felt sorry for the wife oh. The husbands women marry.... Yet it's the girls always at fault. They won't remember how they married brainless men with no iota of self worth, except when they imagine themselves on a beautiful woman.
Honestly, us young ladies need to put these dick heads in their place. They will see you minding yor business, they just come with trouble. Anyway, me I don't tolerate it. I will abuse your genrations unborn. When u now finish with them, the next thing you hear is "I am not your mate" "my daughter is ur age" "my younger sister is older than you" "I can pay your salary" "my wife is even finer than u and more sophisticated" "do u know who I am" Nonsense!! You didn't remember all those when u were hunting the babe up and down abi?
Pardon my rant, but this nonsense is becoming too much in Lagos.
Staco my sister, how old are all these your chronicle self? I think some of them are toddlers.
ReplyDeleteStella the blog visitors with new display ID are increasing, noticed new BVs. Lady koikoi how u take know the way this frustrated pple hang leg for burglery n ceiling fan to prove they are learners. God help us keep our husbands. A man that stops picking ur call is no longer interested. Please run fast and look for a new guy.
ReplyDeleteU've got a life to live and it's equally uo to u to make urself happy. Remember happiness is d essence of ndu_
ReplyDeleteEvery one deserves love.
ReplyDeleteWhen will people understand it's not an option?
Poster 2 I wish you well as you have become 'unfrozen'. And understand that, allowing ourselves to love others should not be a privilege but a right.
Congratulations on your award Stella.
HALEEMAH
that u re divorced is not the issue here, to love and be loved is, please be wise
ReplyDeletehnnmnnn nawa o
ReplyDeleteNar1: Isn't it obvious that your ex is unreliable? The signs are boldly written on your wall and you have chosen to be in denial? hmmm biko love you and do you, you deserve the best!
ReplyDeleteNar2: Wow! you are lucky there are no kids involved. Clearly, you married for the wrong reasons and have obviously tried to be who you are not. Love is not a forceful feeling, it happens when it happens and there are no rules to it.. Its a head start that you have just started to feel however it is not to be rushed into just because you have rushed in once.. take your time and go with your heart and head; they both should work together. Pray without ceasing! All the best in your journey. x #LALA
Narrative 1 - I agree with SDK. Its hard but you've been given a pass. Be wise enough to take it.
ReplyDelete