How would you feel if you pushed your child into a situation that they cannot walk away from?....IT ISNT BY FORCE ABEG!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
ULTIMATUM TO GET MARRIED BEFORE DECEMBER 31,2014
I'm on the verge of loosing my mind.I am at home right now crying my eyes out for God to help me out of my misery.
I'm 27 and I m still in my father's house but it's been hell here. My mum,my siblings,my dad keeps frustrating my life just because I'm not married.my mum stopped giving me food and I'm no more allowed to sit in the sitting room because my family does all sorts to chase me out of the house.I am not even allowed to watch TV.
Imagine my own mum telling me it's because I wasted my youth sleeping around when I was young that's why I can't find any man to marry me.
My younger ones gather to beat me at just any slight provocation.they abuse me so much I feel like dying.my 14 year old sister abused the life out of me.telling me at my age I'm still in my father's house.that I can never see any man to marry me.
I have a good guy that loves me but the problem is he's not financially ok at all.he is ready for marriage and I even brought him home to meet my parents because of the pressure I was facing.now my parents are calling him left right and centre to come and do wedding and the guy is getting frustrated cos he doesn't even have any money for a wedding,even a very small wedding sef he doesn't have.
My own problem is I don't have anywhere to go.i want to run away from them all.for my mum to see me everyday brings her so much heartache she just abuses my life.i feel so worthless.i have a job but it's not paying enough to rent a house.
I even get so scared to leave my room for the fear of mum seeing me,and my siblings too.
I asked my mum why she's doing all this to me and she said I must leave the house before the end of this year.that she has to maltreat me so that I will leave.
I'm so much in pains because I love my mum so much and she has always been good to me.but now she has joined my siblings to make sure I commit suicide.my mum abused me this morning just because my 14yr old sister was trying to beat me and I defended my self.my mum said I brought a very ugly man home,with no money,a son of nobody because I use to sleep around that's why I'm unlucky.
Infact I just want to die right now.theres no where to run to.no one to cry on.what can I do?
JESUS!...This is so complicated that i am lost for words...
why the heck are some parents like this?
.............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
SELFISH AND INCONSIDERATE SPOUSE
Good morning Stella,
I love your blog and the way you touch lives, I love the blog family, i'm proud to be one.
My husband is so selfish and inconsiderate, I wonder why.
He brought his 88 year old mother to live with us. That would not have been a problem if the woman was still strong . He refused to employ a nurse or a help to assist her cos she can't do anything for herself, you have to assist her with bathing and even to wee and poo,sometimes, you have to feed her. I have an 18 month old baby whom I take care of too.
I have a store where I sell frozen food in front of the house but since she came, my business has been suffering, I have to sort mama out before going to the store and keep dashing back to see her. I am permanently tired nowadays.
Meanwhile, my dear husband leaves the house as early as 5am and returns as late as 10pm.
Each time I complain, he says it's because she's not my mum. He has 2 married Sisters, can't she go and stay with her daughters? Can't they all contribute money to get a nurse for her? I'm just tired!
*Your hubby should ship off his mum to stay with her daughters,they are the ones in the best position to show her love and care for her.I know how stressful it is having a baby.I dont know how you will pull this one off but I wish you luck
No1 : jesus christ, you just described patience in her movies, your 14 years old sister needs to be put in her place, dear please don't rush into something you will later regret. God be with you. Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteNo2: your husband is either just being selfish or he really does not know the stress you are going through, he should employ a nurse jare. God give you the strength to deal with this. You need it.
Narrative num 1,ur story tire me o..at jst 27,ur entire fam is shouting?i got married at 34,nd now v gat 3 lovly kids nd d best hubby...u r still very young mami...cos it's beta 2 b late dan 2 b d late,if I had married d nicompu I was wit at my 25 to 29yrs..m sure I wld hv died of heart ache by now...havin said dat,dis ur guy u say is nice nd good so,pls u girls shld stop makn excuses 4 a man(he is not financially stable)..if he loves u,u guys shld gada wateva n do a small palour trad,150k...gada small money,if na one room..stay 2geda,dont despise small beginnings,except if u say hez not a good guy,but if he is lik u claim,my dear,u sef giv am ultimatum to com do d rite tins...patapata afta d marriage,u guys can take it easy on child bearing nd put urselfs 2geda well first(i hv a friend who did dat,3yrs b4 dey decided to hv a baby)...cos my dear,if u wait 4 d guy 2 b financially stable,na dat time he go realise say u too fat,old or u too dey nag...a word!
DeleteNo1 plz come and stay with me what kind of rubbish is that or go and live with that boy they are not your parents they might have adopted u.as for your 14year old sister watchout at 37 she would b single and the reverse would b the case for your mum she would Begin to beat your mum that shes the witch that made her single at 37
DeleteI'm sorry yeah, I don't feel bad for #1 poster. I started out feeling sorry for her and upset with her mom, but I ended up wanting to SLAP the shit outta her! How silly can u be??? You're 27 and your 14yr old sister is "beating" u! It's not like the two of you get into a fight and it turns out she's winning, u actually use the words "beat"!!!! As for ur parents stand up to them! What rubbish......... because someone donated sperm and anoda person opened up womb isn't enough to call the Parents. No parent will do this to a child they love.!!!!? You're skulking, thinking of running, thinking of suicide etc...... ishi mmebi! Stand up to them joor. And get them to see that what they are doing is wrong! (do not, I repeat, do not insult them). That chipmunk of a sister, o lord beat the shiiiiiit out of that weasel. Stop being a bloody coward and speak up.
DeleteN1
DeleteGod is your strength.
I strongly advise you find a business. Sell jewelry. And keep your self busy.
You need to be scarce.
I want you to channel this pressure into the right direction. The wind of life blows us all, you decide if it would carry sand into your eyes or if you would use it to power your wind mill and supply electricity. The choice is yours.
I don't advise you run into a man's house just like that.
Or you may...if you think it's best for you.
But from what I read, your bf is not yet stable, so he is not in a hurry to get married. Make your own business money. Pack out.
Okay? This too shall pass...remember that.
Don't mind your sister...she is just ignorant and is being misled. God would see you through. Plenty love dear..mmwah.
Bet wait o..i hope there is no other side to this story. If your doing something bad, then please stop. Okay?
N 2 : hmmm
Oriegwu
I have already dropped a comment down some where.
I advise you tell your hubby to hire a nanny.
Or you use your own money. Please don't break down. Sow it as a seed. Please? You need to focus on your business and live long before you die from exhaustion. Since its obvious his sisters are not interested, just get a nanny okay?
As you do it, help would never be far from you.
Or if you really think you can't handle it. Talk to God about it. God's grace ma.
@AnonymousDecember 6, 2014 at 6:41 PM, i don't blame her for her reaction. Her family has made her lost her dignity, self respect and strength.
DeleteThe narrator of that story is going through hell. I wish i can hhelp her and accommodate her. She NEEDS to leave that house ASAP.
Hmmnnn
ReplyDeleteNo 2, my grand mum lived with us before she died at 90 and she was sick. So i totally understand what you are going through.
DeleteI don't know if you have a strong mind to do what i want to suggest. After your hubby goes to work, call him and say his mum said she wants to visit her daughter (if they stay in ur vicinity). Gather her clothes, drive to your sister in lawss house, act all nice and lovey dovey. Quietly look for an excuse and leave.
When hubby returns, inform him that mama said she wants to spend sometime with her daughter bla bla bla bla bla.
Stand your ground and insist a nurse or a care giver must be employed to take care of the woman.
P1..cant u beat dat ur sister? Which kind softie u be? I for wear short n we for fight out our grievances..ur mom no dey try..she shudnt push u into d wrong hands pls...hang on n ignore them as much as u can..n tell dat ur 14yr old sis that she ain't seen nothing yet. P2...it is with caution that u chew with toothache.
ReplyDeleteme sef tire,which kyn nonsence talk b dat sef,somtyms it pays 2 b subborn walahi,d house 4 de scatter everyday,abeg stop all dis ur swegbe nd fight along,dem de madt?
DeleteMy mum is the best mum in the world
DeleteVery supportive, hardworking...
I am 26, no job yet, no husband..
She is a single mother
I am the 1st child of 5
And she practically does everything for us, no questions asked
Non of my sibz is lazing around, they are all in school
She just finds a way to make it all work
I pray for her everyday
If I start saying all my mum has done for us....
I just pray God helps me to take good care of her
Its time for her to start eating d fruit of her labour
Its time I help with d burdens of taking care of my sibz
God please hear my cry
#supermom
#myhero
#bestmom
Poster 1, God will hear your cry too and bless your bobo
Poster one,I actually pity your 14yr old sister oo..becos she is goin to reap what she is sowing now irrespective of how ignorant she may claim to be or how ur mom pushed her to do this to you. Poster two..hehe,its not funny at all.I remember when I lived in same city as my hubby's sister, was courting my hubby then,the sister expects me to come help out with house chores on saturdays at her home when I need to shop,wash,and rest.my hubby will just call me and say,don't go anywhere,stay in ur apartment and rest.tell her u travelled.me I will be forming lemme go and help,he will just snap,won't u rest? Kai..thank God for my DH. You are the bestest.what is my aim of writing this now eh kwa? To praise my hubby fa. Becos he won't allow this one happen. Nne call ur mom oo. To come and visit so that she will see and speak to your hubby. Only he would say you pple have connived against him.and do you think the sisters don't kw she shud be in their homes? They don't want her too jare,they pushed her to you.
ReplyDelete@ poster number one, i cant really blame your mum because shes right what were you doing around 20/21 years thats when most girls hooked up witj quality men. All the best
ReplyDeleteSome people can be so cruel and insensitive.
DeleteSHUT Up! Where is your statistics from?
DeleteLe kwa person oo. Is everybody's destiny the same. Hook up gini. Abeg go sidon one place. No fingers are equal.
DeleteIf I insult you now it wont be good. At 20 you should be building your life and not prepping to be a liability. All these lazy women.
DeleteYou are very ignorant..... haba
DeleteU must be very stupid and deranged!
DeleteU are a fool stupid animal
DeleteFool...... she will force a man to marry her.
DeleteI appreciate diversity in brilliant opinions, but excuse me to say that from your perspective. Your reasoning is so myopic!!!!!!!!!
Delete@ anon 12:14pm, it's a crime to be myopic and ignorant at the same time. Who says everyone must hook up at 20/21? God has different plans for everyone. Most of our mums got married before 16 and had us before18, why aren't you doing that now? That some are married and gnashing their teeth before 25 is not why others cannot be patient and exfoliate in their jacuzzi with their hubby after 30.
DeleteMy dear narrative, DO NOT RUSH because your inconsiderate mum is being an unreasonable nag. Ignore her and pray your 14year old sister doesn't fall into the same situation or even worse. If you have any fault in your upbringing, your mum should be held responsible. She didn't do her assignment well. People look at the family, especially the mother before they accept to pick a wife from there. Your mum is just doing the "blame-shift" game.
Another piece of word... dump the broke ass guy fast and open new doors for yourself. I know broke ass guys to be very clingy and jealous, with full package of sweet words that are accompanied with nothing but smooching and banging and you end up giving them your transport fare because he has a whole lot of pity stories to pour out and baggages of promises to roll out.
What kind of nonsense talk is this.
DeleteU are a foolish bastard if u can't blame her mum.... Idiot, goat, mumu; thunder fire and consume that your smelly mouth..... Is that how to encourage a daughter to marry? I don't care if u are male or female may your daughter end up in a wrong marriage.... Karma must visit u by fire by force for this stupid comment...poster don't ever allow them get to you.... Look for money and move out even if na 1 room.... Your mum is wicked and u just never noticed...pls don't marry anyhow cos of them....it is not how early u marry but how well....
DeleteOne beautiful and loving family always looking out for each other. God bless us all Amen. @ poster 1 look @ ur fingers are they equal? @ poster 2 Hmmm before your husband brought his mom was there any form of communication? If not invite your mom too.
DeleteAnon 2:14.in one sentence; you are mad.
DeleteNever knew people like you still exist.
27 years they are complaining,what of 35years old woman way never marry na wa oooo
ReplyDeleteNawa! @poster 2 ur husband is one selfish person..whenever he says that to you again tell him yes she isn't your mother n he should take her to his sisters mtcheew
ReplyDelete@poster 2 Is it true you use to sleep around? Cos I see no reason your mother should utter that kind of statement if it isn't true. sorry but I've got nothing to say to u
Even if she was a fuckaholic, I've seen fuckerholics that marry earlier than virgins.
DeletePoster 1: that's y I refused staying at home after graduation and NYSC. I am at peace being a spinster on my own.
So even if she sleeps arounds it's in her mother's place to kick her when she's down abi?
DeleteMany women who where about town ending up with quality men, Abeg park well
Na wa o! Such cruelty and hate from one's own mother, that's why so many women end up with men they do not even love...PRESSURE, they suffer abuse silently cus there's no way out.
ReplyDeleteSelfish husband without human feelings, you don't want to burden your own sisters with their own mother. It's another person's daughter you want to suffer abi? You have a good wife that's why. Who get that time to dey clean old mama yansh dey pack old mama shit, you better take her to old people's home, me I for don help her situation with small rat poison,its not fair na, haba!
My Verdict!!! Poster 2's husband should go and marry poster 1's mother. They will fit each other
Lol @ Rhoda you try
DeletePoster one, you haven't told us everything.
ReplyDeletePoster two, he should either get a nurse or take her to husband sisters house because it's the daughters responsibility to care for the aged parents.
Who says it is only the daughters responsibility to care for aged parents. What happened to sons? The husband should hire a frigging nurse
DeleteI'm coming to comment.
ReplyDelete1: There's something not sitting right with this story. It's rare to find the dad, mum and siblings ganging up against a child. Not a single one on your side? And over something as mundane as marriage ar 27?
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, I find your mum's behaviour seriously appalling. You may report your parents to their family or religious Heads but I doubt that will solve the problem on the long run.
Use your spare time to start a small business and come home only to sleep. Limit your interaction in the home as much as possible. Absence makes the heart fonder.
I hope your BF doesnt dump you. If I were a guy, I won't put up with the BS.
2: He's selfish and inconsiderate alright. The deed has been done, look for a solution. Douse the tension in the house first and casually suggest a househelp to help Mama in the house for her own safety. You might even say your mum is sending you one to help in the shop so you can focus on Mama.
For where? When househelp lands, her duty will be to assist Mama while you face your work. Your business must not suffer abeg.
Goldscent did I type this??? Lolzzz
DeleteGokstscent D,forget dat nne!
DeleteCos ife na eme.....ok?
Things truly happen!
It's very possible...in my case my parents are late, am the last of kids and they all gang up against...singular reason is because am independent...I finished school not asking them for anything but selling clothes to get through school...God favored me and I got a very good job now am on scholarship in Canada for my masters and all they can say is...she sleeps around! I got a fucking scholarship and they say a man fucked me to send meto school. You don't know what people go through in the hands of their so called family...this isn't even anything compared to the beating and slapping I receive. Good thing is I pray for them every day. I found forgiveness and that's way better than a so called family. Trust me family sometimes are your worst enemy.
DeleteNne u think ur hubby is inconsiderate? Wait until u hear my own story. Infact that word INCONSIDERATION was created because of him
ReplyDeletePoster number 1: take it easy with yourself,distract ursef with anything so as not to think of ur situation. But are you retarded that ur kid sis n sibling can "beat u up?" Stay away from your family for a while. Ur own time shall com.
ReplyDeleteI have nothing to say to narrator 2. Lol
Potser number one sorry love,aint easy in dat kinda environment.pls can u leave that house,look for a friend 2 squat wt or smth,dat abuse is just 2 much and may affect ur psyche. Poster number 2.pls encourage ur hubby to get a maid for his mum,or beter still get a maid urself.u can't do all dat by urself.u will stress urself out.
ReplyDeleteposter 1 @ i wonder what a parent of 39yrs old will do if @ 27 dey want to kill u. Make dem manufacture a man 4 u na maybe ur mum no kno say beta man scarce na dickholder full everywia.
Deleteposter 2, pls get urself a maid
Poster N1 I feel so sorry for you. I wonder why some parents believe that marriage is the biggest achievement ever. Do they want you to force yourself on any man? 27 is not too old. Since you say you have no where to go. Avoid them as much as you can .Keep your self busy with your work. Try and join some church activities so that you won't be spending so much time at home. Please if you are having sex with your boyfriend practice safe sex to avoid unwanted pregnant, though abstinence would be better for you if you are not having sex already. I wish you good luck.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 in my culture, female children are responsible for taking care of their mum when she gets old not male children unless the woman doesn't have female children. In your case your husband has two sisters and they should be the one nursing their mum. Your husband should talk to her sisters and they should decided how to share the responsibility.
You people are not serious,didn't the mother take care of the son?I only believe everybody should take care of her and they can be alternating it and even the way you people are talking about the mother as a piece of shit,u will all grow up one day.
DeleteN 1. Hmmm na wa oh. Pls don't kill urself. 27 is not to old. I got married @ 31 to d man of my dreams. By 35 I was done with child birth. Now am in my 40s and have peace. Don't worry the Lord will see u thru.
DeleteN 2. I can't laugh, that's our my husband brought his mum to oh. And she has 3 daughters, imagine them saying they could not stay with her. My MIL eats freshly cooked food 3x a day. She dose not eat overnight meal and any food from d fridge. See me now, was always tired my business suffered cos I don't have a help. Would drop kids rush home to mama, prepare food and water for her. Then be4 I go 4 my business. 12 am back to make lunch, pick kids do home work. Meanwhile no help oh. A beg na so I begin ask DH when is mama going? When he did not ans, I invited my mum also 4 one week. Nobody tell am to send her back, Kpele dear, just use wisdom, all will be well. E hugs to u.
@ Onomebonny thx dear exactly wat I told poster 2 invite you mother kai.
DeleteMy dear you need wisdom to handle this. I took care of my sick mother-in-law for 6 good years and she had 3 daughters who refused to take care of her. I was pregnant when i started the 'care' job with no appreciation even from anyone of them including DH. Sotay i employed 2 nurses doing 2 shifts o but they had to leave when MIL said i wanted to use them to kill her. She sha wanted it to be me waiting on her and cooking too. Dear MIL wont want to eat food prepared by someone else (i get cook o! No be say na so my food dey sweet o!) Anything to stress my life. No probs but i did it all accepting the fact that it was an assignment from God and a test of faith. No wahala as i dey do am na so i dey pray God make my own mama no become an invalid and i thank God for that. I do empathise with you but you need your husband on your side first. If not start by feigning sickness (God forbid but desperate situations sometimes needs desperate solutions). Then one afternoon just check yourself into a hospital. I said afternoon so that it would disrupt DH's day if he's being selfish.Have the doctors on your side by explaining your situation to them. Let them tell DH that you (God forbid) are depressed and stressed which cannot be treated with conventional drugs because its a state of mind. Use that opportunity for a well-deserved rest. That's what i used to do and believe me it worked for me at least 3 times. The point is not your MIL but the fact that you need extra help to take care of her. We all want to grow old so it would be a sin before God to let an old woman suffer. Forget about your SIL because they dont want to be responsible for her. My SIL never did. Just face your husband and apply wisdom. God bless.
DeleteWhat usually pain me is that... I'm. in my final year nd my parents are saying do not girlfriend ... later na if I'm 45 and not ready to marry they'll be. Bringing village girl for me, going. To crusade...okay na
ReplyDelete1000 Funny BBM Display Pictures (PART 9).
SDK
@poster no 2 pls expain to ur husband hoe exhausting it is to take care of ur baby and her mother..it's either they look for a nanny or let her go to her female chilren's house..Wicked man
ReplyDeleteHmmm…N1, If they are your parents then.. I am really finding difficult to believe your narration and i guess that is because of the kind of love i have for my children. Let MOI go and come back. N2, you said your MIL. shit and pees at home, your DH have refused to employ a nurse and she has 2 daughters that are married? If it is true then you have to respectfully and nicely ask DH to ship MIL to her married daughters house, if she has no daughter or daughters then DH MUST get you help. I love and respect in-laws but this one pass MOI.
ReplyDeleteLol funnywoman@ship his mum off,u no dey take shit like me
ReplyDeleteomg..narrative number one...This is wickedness in the highest order. I have a 16 yr old brother and he dares not talk while i am talking. not to talk of 14. my dear you better beat the living daylights out of that girl one day. My dear. you have to be desperate. start looking for another job o better still go to the registry with your fiance and get married and then leave your parents house. Hmm i am really in shock. Tomorrow now when u become successful some bvs here will be telling you to help your mother. May God help you!!
ReplyDeletePoster 1, I pray God will restore to you the joy of your salvation and wipe away your tears. Please dear, if you have a friend, just move out from that hell you call a home. Why are some mothers so mean??? Why are they pushing their daughters so far??? If this poster now marry out of frustration, they will be the ones to curse her out.
ReplyDeleteFor your sisters, she is just 14 and she is wining her mouth... Hahahaha... I pray she go stand the heat of Patience Ozokwor (Mama G) when her time comes. Its well dear, don't see yourself (27) as too old. Its better to remain single than to marry the wrong person, that one Na hell fire on earth. Please, keep yourself busy so you wont think much. May God bless and grant the desires of your heart.
Poster 2, some men are always like that. If you talk now dem go use am against you. Please ignore him and use wisdom on him. Since its consuming much of your time and its affecting your business, please look for a help or sales girl to assist. Anything you do now to assist your MIL, do it for God and see it as if you are doing it for your biological mum. Remain blessed and God strengthen you
Na wa ooo. The first family is filled with mad and crazy people. The first person should work on finding a job and moving out of that place. At 27 why is anyone treating you like that? You are even saying your guy is not financially ok. So you sit down gbagam for house dey wait for money to fall from heaven for him before you people marry. Wait there for man or mummy and daddy to feed, clothe and respect you
ReplyDeleteIt's well oh, some parents re so mean. ur own child that u birthed, if it where step mother. ehn ehn we for say na their thing.
ReplyDeleteMy dear tell hubby if she most stay with u people let him get a nurse or somebody that can take care of her
Dear Men, wife's no be firewood OH
Narrative number 1. I think it's high time you move out of your parent's house and find a room mate to stay with. You can feel happy and you won't be insulted by your younger ones. Sometimes when you spend too much time at home, you start to loose your worth. I will advice you to find somewhere and move to. It is well.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 if u have a female friend dat stays alone or an anty sat can accommodate u, u can leave d house nd stay there for sometime, so parents tink bcos they married at d age of 16 in d olden days that it can b done now, not knowing that tins have changed and pls put dem in ur prayers... Poster2 do d one ur power reach, dnt too much, if he feels bad Urnt doin enough this mum, he shd take her to his sisters, dnt overdo anytin, wen ur hubby tiya he wud do d needful
ReplyDelete*doing enough for his
DeleteJenny zee, it is gud dat u corrected urself, some pple will go anon, then come dey correct u, as them be dictionary. Back to d tori, poster 1, ur mom will reap what she is sowing, my dear sis. Don't bother urself, u see dat ur younger sis will be d one to deal with her when d time comes, poster 2, ur husband does not understand what you are going through, sit him down again, and talk to him, in short why are ur sister in laws not taking care of there mother, na wa, dis one tire me ooo.
DeleteChai,chai CHAI.....
ReplyDeleteSweetie,come her and take a hug....chai
You poor poor baby!
Honestly some parents are not fit to be called parents! Ur own blood bikonu??!
for what kwanu?
Just imagine the kind of oppression my blog sis is going via.
Words fail me ooooo.....ur own flesh n blood???
Nne ee,be strong ooooo....chai
Buh u didnt specify wot Town i are in....
This ur story just made me shed à tear....
Sending u warm hugs....
Let me know where u réside Sweetie.ok?
@ Poster 2,Asa,i sympathize with u.
And I agree with u that ur hubby is inconsiderate and selfish....
Buh dis is wot u wil do(in my humble opinion)
Shebi u have Somthing doing? Good.
Now,bring out 15K and close ur eyes and Hire a nurse For Mamá.....
Ur reward is in Heaven my sister...
Mamá herself has already blessed u and wil bless u more....
Cant u see wot is happening? Those peeps dont care too much For Their own mother o...
Cos if dey did,They Would have taken her to stay with her daughters which is d best place For her to be....Or may be not.
Cos u know some daughters Arent Soo nice to Their mom Or They just dont want to "soil Their hands" taking care of Mamá.
Nne either way,do it.inugo...
God wil Strengthen u.ok?
Jisike my dear. And all d very Best!
GW,this hug you are sharing,diaris God oooh..diaris God ooh..*wipes tears hysterically*
Delete1000 likes. First poster, where do you reside and where is your office located?
Delete@ Iphie,shebi i don hug u tire For Whatsapp....
DeleteLeave For others na...Lol
*cryingwithjoy*
Deleteposter 1 if ur parents say u must marry n le boo is ready for marriage but no money its ur choice, if u decide he marries u in the cheapest way possible, it is their loss cos their dota was forced into such marriage where she wudv wanted something better.What u shud do is if they r singing u slept arnd ,prolly its true,one of those friends u kept then might be able to house u.Goodluck on that 1.
ReplyDeleteposter 2 the best way to deal with a selfish or inconsiderate spouse is with wisdom,think of the things u will do to save the situation that will suit u both.If its shipping ihe to her dotas cool,if its ihe shud spend sometime at urs n sometime at her dotas place perfect.Nw here r 2 choices there r many more if u think hard.
It is the dream of every normal lady to get married, so I think parents and family should learn to be supportive towards their kids who are of marriageable age and still single. My advice to poster 1 is that if you feel the condition you are facing at home is unbearable I think you should move out so that you don't become so depressed and harm yourself. I believe this will pass.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 talk to your husband expressing how you feel. It's either he get you a nanny, he helps out or move the mother to one of the sister's place. Am sure na run him they run by leaving the house by 5.am and returning by 10.pm.
Gist 2: some spouses are so selfish eh it's surprising. Ehen na shebi he has sisters?
ReplyDeleteThey shd take care of their mum after all you ddnt bring your own mum to d house to suffer anybody.
Gosh! I can't comprehend this at all
Gist1: it is well with u
God will answer your mum and family. Just 27 and they treat u like thrash. Imagine even your 14yr old sister no respect for her senior again.
Fighting u ke? She is packing curses on her head. She dosnt know.God will wipe your tears away.
N1: you are too weak.
ReplyDeleteN2: onye nwe anyi gba gi ume.
poster numero une -just look for a friend you can always go squat with ,leave the house ,you can even leave the location and go to another location start a new life ,you are too scared of the outside world ,you need to get out and explore ,you will never get the respect you want until you pack your bag leave .
ReplyDeleteposter 2.pele poster i feel your pains ,she has daughters ,why wont they come take their mother and look after her ,abeg wake him up midnight and tell him ,the job is too much for you .
Poster 1
ReplyDeleteI really do feel for you. I am so angry right now not just at your siblings but your mum for behaving like she picked you from the gutter.
For crying out loud when did marriage become a defining point for a woman? You're 27 and not even 37 gosh this is wickedness.
Please and please do not marry out of pressure. Same parents will abuse you if you still make the wrong choice. I got mouthed at my grannie when she wanted to try that with me. Nobody messes with my life. I will advice you to start a small business alongside your job if it will allow you. You need to leave that house coz they're messing with your esteem which is one of your best treasures.
I'd like to contact you please. Send me a mail if you don't mind.
Poster 2
Please don't bother talking to your husband again.
Just fall sick or carry yourself to the hospital and get a bed. Get someone to look after your baby while at it.
Lemme see how well he can take care of his own mother.
Some men and wickedness, preying on the most decent of hearts.
One reason I don't blame some women who are mean on their men
U hv d right answer 4 poster 2. She needs 2 use ghetto sense 4 dat her hisband.
DeleteSome mothers are so wicked,hang in there sis...God will make a way for you.Even your siblings are against u? hmmmmmm it is well,will keep praying for u.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: she definitely needs a nanny, her daughters her heartless,they are meant to be with one of them or you all rotate it shikena...just that moving an aged-woman back and forth isn't really cool.God strengthen you
Poster one, I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Is marriage the ultimate? What happened to happiness? Don't you have an aunt that you can confide, to talk to your mum especially. Pls do not even think of suicide, suicide!!'!!!!! Because of what, secondly don't you have a good friend that can accommodate you for awhile, before your parents come to their senses. Take heart ooo. Na wa
ReplyDeletePoster2. I think you should heed to Stella's advice
Sabo Sabo
DeletePresent !!!! Ma. Lol
DeleteAunty stela,God bless u for d good work u are doing.after visiting dis blog every time,I actually feel like I have visited friends or friends have visited me and I come alive again'cos I have always been depressed.I am married with two kids and my husband and I love each other dearly(or so I thot). The only problem is d bond between my husband and his immediate family he can never refuse them anything,even if it means borrowing at our own expense.my father inlaw is a civil servant and he farms too but he left d whole family burden for my hubby.he is sponsoring 3 siblings in higher institutions but can barely pay our child's skul fees.I cant remeber d last time I bought new undies,talk more of a dress but my hubby sends new clothes to his family almost every month.he barely buys for homself too.there was a day I had a long talk with him on dis issue n there was no food in the house.he told me he had some money n would give me before leaving for work,only for his father to call a few minutes later saying they had no food in d house.hubby had to tell me to b patient while he sends dem d money.we starved all day,I dnt understand dis anymore.I have become a slave in my own housewith my hair so unkept becos of lack of money.I have a degree but no job,I have tried to get one but its not forth coming.I feel like walking out of dis marriage but where do I go?plz advice
ReplyDeleteYou are at the point where you need to take any job...any job to support your self and child. Ladies, do not marry without work o or business. You have to hustle for yourself and child. If your husband complains, tell him you are tired of suffering since he does not know how to take care of his own family.
DeleteNawao, is your hubby is only son ? Even at that , he should learn how to share the responsibilities
DeleteTalk to him and threaten to walk out of the marriage
DeleteThe solution to your problem is prayer...intense prayer...the bible says : for this reason shall a man leave his father n mother and cleave to his wife and they shall become one...your husband has not left his pple and so he is not cleaving to u. Your prayer points are:
Delete1. Father, according to ur word, let there be a leaving and cleaving in my husband's life.
2. Lord, open my husband's eyes to his responsibilities towards me n d kids.
3. Lord, destroy every ungodly hold /control over my husband's mind.
4. God you are my source, provide for me, make a way for me....give insight and foresight, open my eyes to opportunity and let favour find me.
Pray works...i have prayed this prayers when my MIL wont let me rest, now im d one dat sometimes beg hubby to pick her calls.
I am in support of pple helping their family members, i will never advise anyone to neglect their parents, i still give my parents monthly stipends even though they dont need it...God has blessed them, but its my joy as a child to care for my parents but not at d detriment of my children and husband.
Most parents dont understand that we are priviledged custodians, our biblical responsibility is to train up a child in d way of the Lord, not to live and control the child's life.
Marriage is a God ordained relationship, d only man to man relationship with a godly covenant...God respects covenant...there is no godly covenant between a parent and a child....
Parents stop manipulating your sons to the detriment of their wives n kids....remember your own daughters are going to be married too
Kai!! And if you get a job now..you will end up feeding yourself,him and them!! That man has to buckle up!! With the economic crisis we are facing today...he must cut down on what he is sending to them biko!! Dependants have a way of spending more than the person they are collecting from..and they will never see an avenue to make money and explore it because there is someone sending money,food and clothing...
DeleteMadam,you must lay down some rules today today...collect monthly upkeep money and structure your personal well being money in there..let him keep them on a monthly salary of maybe 10k-20k depending on how much he earns..then his siblings in school..he has to share responsibility with his father....if he is nt capable of taking care of you and his child,that means he is not rich enough to carry that heavy burden...a time will come when he can spoil them silly..until then....he must have a structured way of sending money biko!
Iphie Dearie@ a thousand likes.Dependants have a way of spending more than the person they are collecting from......................
DeleteMa dear u are nt d only one in dis.mine is similar to urs cept dat iv got a lil job to take care 9f maself.really frustrating
DeleteAnonymous God bless you for this prayer points......you will not believe I have seen a case where the family of the man did not want him to have kids so he can be responsible for only them (his mum and his 4 siblings)..... In my own case my hubby lives abroad and they turned him away from giving to me and mostly to them....when we initially got married it was not so....I know they saw how much love he showed me and they did not hide their annoyance..thank God I have a good job and I do most things for myself. But we just had our first child and I have started to demand money for her upkeep.....he will not run away from that responsibility then go and spend all his money on his siblings and even their children....poster you need to pray cos his family are deliberately using him without regards for him, his wife and child.......that is wickedness and ungodly.....even if you take care of your parents and neglect you wife and kids then sorry god cannot be pleased with you...that is why he says u leave your father and mother and cleave to your wife......
DeleteAsk urself dis question @poster2 if she is your mum won't u take care of her? @ poster1 am sorry to say dis u parent did nt raise u n ur siblings right, in my house u dare not talk back rudely @ ur elder ones talk more of rising ur hand to hit them nomatter what d offence is or was.
ReplyDeleteWat of d daughters of d woman? It's easy to say this bcos u r not in her shoes, she will take care of her baby nd mother inlaw bfr doing her business nd d woman has daughters? Abeg mk we fear God
DeletePoster 1 biko develop a thick skin!! Please and please make it extremely thick! I'm sure your mum doesn't want to do what shes doing, it's probably the advice she gets from her friend that she is heeding to, I'm think they've told her thats the only way you will leave the house.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I've come to realize is that it's not only the unmarried lady that is under pressure but her family too especially her mum and I don't tthink your family is an exception, as for your little sister, biko discipline her and it's really not her fault it's how she sees her older ones treating you and she has your mum's backing too.
I personally don't know for the blood of Christ why a 27 year old girl that is not financially independent should get married, I can't think of any reason whatsoever. 27 is still young IMO, but that's our culture and it's either we respect it or find our way around it.
Poster 2, I hate inlaw invasion, chai!! I don't know what you should do oo, but all I know is that it won't last for long, trust me on this one.I have seen it happen to a ton of aunties and the invaders never stay for long. Anyways, God help you.
How is the family, esp the mum under pressure?
DeleteI'm sorry but i don't seem to get your point.
This is how society would expect us to tolerate nonsense all because "Blood is thicker than water".
*Hiss*
@poster one I cnt believe dis o. Ur 14 year old sis wants to beat u. Jeez unto wat. No no I can accept dat ur mum is insults u buh for ur younger ones I can't deal. Buh dat aside. I feel ur pain n pray God comes to ur aid. Chai. Some mothers sha. My best advice is for u to go to God in prayers.......@2nd poster hmmmmm u nid to talk to ur husby o.
ReplyDeletePoster one...Sri to say ur family are inconsiderate and wicked ur just 27 and dey are complaining wat of women dat stay at dere parents huz at 37-40 yrs and d pple are not complaining.....just pray that God takes control so dat u can move out of d huz b4 dey kill uu God forbid dey won't kill u.......Poster two..ur not d onli one in dis problem I have an aunty dat d Hubi does d same ohhhhhhh his selfishness is too much ohhh but just put everything in God's hands ohhhhh.....
ReplyDeleteNo 1:we r in d same shoes.i hd to gather sum cash here and thr to get a house.for nw m wiv a frnd buhh I m house hunting.
ReplyDeleteNo 1:we r in d same shoes.i hd to gather sum cash here and thr to get a house.for nw m wiv a frnd buhh I m house hunting.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteUltimatum? Jesus!
China Becomes World Largest Economy-US Behind
N1. What kind of mother is that tho? Isn't she supposed to be the one to stand by you, you're just 27 for crying out loud. What should a mother of a 35 year old spinster do? Kill her child? Or is she expecting you to propose to a man yourself?
ReplyDelete1: this is one of the very few moments that im lost at wat to say....this just reminds of d lady dat posted abt her mother maltreated when she was young n now wants her help. most pple here were busy typing blood is thicker dan water story....is this P1 mother fit to be called a mother, cursing ur child, someone u carried in d womb and suffered all d pains of childbearing....u went theu all dat to curse dat child sorrow all because of what pple will say....encouraged sibling enmity because shes not yet married at 27?...27???..i got married at 27 but i wished i had started single a tad longer cus there arw somethings im struggling to achieve now that i could have easily done as a single girl....im 35 with 3 kids, i cant even get time to go to school to obtain Masters form and i live in the US ooo....i dnt know wat to advise u, just pray dat God shld deliver u, He knows how best to solve dis.
ReplyDeleteP2: you case is easy...Conny man die, conny man go bury am. for 1 week, fake sickness, start complaining abt serious headache and backache...theres no test that will show that u are lying abt that...dont stand up from the bed oo...the home will suffer, ur business will suffer for that 1 week...but if mama is not taken care of, he will send her to her daughters....get one of ur sisters or friend to come n take care of your child. ...but for that one week....stay in bed...if he does not burge after one week, let d strike continue...let him seat at home and take of his own mother...she took care of them, its their childly responsibility to take care of her....go to the hospital, doctor will do xray, dey wont see anything but insist on this backache n headache, doctor will tell u to lay on ur back fir days...do it...and lets see if his mother no eat and shes not cleaned he wont look for alternative. ....as if ur are their maid.....
Bwahahaha
DeleteYour hilarious.
Chai!!
Aluta continua... let d strike begin.
Anamanukwa.
Go and bring you own mama too join.
People can be funny.
Put this in prayer Nd tell God how you feel. He can do it. Or ask your husband to get money for a nanny.
Or just use your own money and sow it as a seed. Okay??
God's grace hun.
*hugs*
Hahhhahah,ur second comment cracked me up
DeleteSeconded
DeleteUwaezuoke. You marry wahala, you no marry, double wahala. Narr.1. Your 14 year old sibling de beat you? E no get wetin person no go hear. Someone you are almost double her age kwa? Which kain mama you get. I dnt know if you are working, but I think you just have to leave the house and get your own place, at least for your sanity. The negativity surrounfing you in your home can wreck a human being. Sorry for your plight.
ReplyDeleteWill be back to read comments am in a very bad mood now just lost a huge sum of money
ReplyDeleteHaba how now. So sorry. Hope it wasn't by scam
DeleteOMG!!!
ReplyDeletesome parents tho, MamaG and Chinwetalu Agu- like parents; how, just how can you be so cruel to your own children.
we live in an "African magic society".
poster, May God direct your path, IJN, Amen.
Narrative no 2, some men can be mean and so bais, mean while have u tried tlkin to ur hubby's sisters? If u haven't u shud tlk to dem cos it aint easy cattering for ur 18 month old child, ur biz, ur home and ur mother inlaw, its rili stressful,u all shud contribute money to get a help for her or bera still she shud be taken care of by any of her daughters. I feel ur pain.... May God see u 2ru..m Narraative no 1, ur parents are rili mean, haba, no matter d treatment u get frm dem suicide is nt an option, jst kip prayin n God wil surely make a way for U
ReplyDelete@poster 1,27years is not enough for them to get tired of u already #some families sha# I'll advice u to find a way to move out even if it means sharing d place with someone.I mean,we ve people at older ages like 35-40 still living with their folks so wat the heck.
ReplyDelete@poster 2,if adequate attention is not given to any of those dependants(mama and baby),they both will suffer.So ask DH to please choose who would rather ve d attention
Poster 1. Trust God, He is faithful. Make arrangement to leave the house. Because really the way it is designed. At a certain age it becomes very difficult to live with parents. As for your 14 years old continue to beat her silly until she learns to respect you. Love your family, you always need that support system. But you can always set boundaries. God will give you wisdom. I had such challenges with my siblings as the last born child . Some of them fit even born me. Sweetheart heart, I drew the line, no one must cross. They call me waffi crase I am over 27 yrs I am still not married. I am trusting God. And no one disrespects me. Pls don't let anybody rush you. From other married couples I don see. Marriage also has it's challenges. Please create a heaven for yourself as you go through hell. Jesus not lie when e say "your enemies are of your. Own household ". It is well. Stella my Delta sister I love your mature style of blogging.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 sorrry to say bt ur parents r so backward,well its cuz dey rr seein u in d house everyday dats y,try ur best to get ur own apartment no Mata hw small,even if na 'face me I face u' dat way u'd get bk ur reps
ReplyDeleteMy people try these shit with me,i will leave that house that same day I don't mind staying under bridge,is too bad you are such treatment from your own blood! As for your siblings I pity them cause your mum will do same to them.i hate to hear shit like these.
ReplyDeleteI just wonder why people see single ladies as a problem. Wetin! A mother! doing such! She's suppose to be ur strength at this time and not the other way round. Please be calm, just know that this is a phase that will pass soon. @ p. 2) Try n talk to ur hubby calmly n make him see reasons with u why his mum should stay with her daughters or get a nurse for her. Be diplomatic about it pls
ReplyDeleteNigerians biko nu, make him see reasons is horrible horrible English. Please unu stop it.
Delete#Phew! I promised to post the part two of "Richard Card" last night. I was tired ni o. So here goes:
ReplyDeleteMtn: 762671894365
". 886390770042
Airtel: 9423141834167732
". 9994524089084470
". 9400198410518449
God bless us all. May our life receive a wondrous turn around like the order of Joseph. May the book of remembrance be open for our sake. All those who desires God's touch in one way or the other, May we receive a net breaking breakthrough. Amen.
Palomino, I got d last MTN card.God bless u
DeletePoster 1. I was in the same position as you. But not as bad though. I finally decided marry the next stranger that came my way. Then it went from bad to worse. I have now left my husband and my mum. Please don't rush into anything because of pressure. I suggest you leave the house early and come back late. If you slept around in the past, pray for forgiveness let that be between you and God. If you have an aunty that treats you better, please move to her house. Good luck
ReplyDeleteDear anonymous , pls can I give you my mum"s number, so you can tell her the consequences of marital pressure.
DeleteMore "Richard cards" to come God willing. Shalom
ReplyDeletePoster 1,pls don't do what you will regret later bcos of parental pressure.marriage is not a do or die affair,it's not a one day thing or a bf and gf r/ship.pls try getting someone who your parents respects to help talk to them on your behalf.a pastor or a priest is a good one.go on ur kneels and talk to God and challenge him.uour own knight in shinning armour is on his way to you.be hopeful ok.*mental hugs to u*
ReplyDeletePoster 2,ship the woman to her daughters if ur hubby can't.i can't deal with such abeg.i am a trophy wife to be and no man can reduce me from my standards all in d name of bathing and wiping the mother's ass after she dumps!!!
Some parents are just terrible. That is how my friend's dad threw all her load from her room, said she should leave his house, and go get married.threw out all her dishes, cutlery's , broke her plates she uses for her catering bizness.She'31 and her 2 younger ones are married. she dare not talk to them bcos they curse her out anyhow dat she's still single.My friend is always crying.i feel so much for her.I've said am not going home anymore till Le boo has located me and ready to see my parents, bcos wen i go home for hols my dad will just sit me down for hours on end talking talking talking.as if i'll marry myself. It gets tiring abeg. Na fone we go dey do all d conversation.
ReplyDeleteSo, becus u ar single @ 27, de want u to commit suicide. Ppl dat are still single @ 35 watin make den do?
ReplyDeletePoster two you are not a good woman at all ooo. How can you accuse you MIL of bewitching your business? Odirokwanma
ReplyDeleteIf she is your biological mummy won't you take care of her without complaining? Umunwanyi and segregation sef! She is your mother whether you like it or not and you must treat her like one if not your own time will come and your children will pay you back in your own coin. Its not a big deal biko...show the old woman love cos she needs it more now and the blessing dat will follow you eeeee...you'll be glad you did the right thing.
Poster1: pray for God's direction in your life. God has the solution to your probs....you are passing thru a phase in life and remember what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!! Kindle your prayer life and you'll see changes. Live a holy life too cos it's very important.
Nwunye Okeke
But the woman has daughters who dnt want to accommodate her, wat av u said concerning that? At least d woman took care of dem nd they r not accepting her in their home, is it someone else's child dat shd take care of her wen she has a baby n her business while hubby refused to take a maid? Try n walk in ppl's shoes bfr u judge
DeleteHow is she not a good woman? Where did she say the woman bewitched her business? You said if she's her biological mum,thank God you know it is not her biological mum. What happened to her daughters ehn,why did they abandon mama with the wife,so she should be the one to die of stress abi? When my grandma was very ill before she finally passed away,my mum bn the only female child had to bring mama home oo,the other 2 useless sons nko they didn't even look back oo and my mum is such a busy woman I did the cleaning and all because I was around during that period. She couldn't walk,stand even move. I did all the poo cleaning and many more. Do you want to know how stressful it is, to take care of sick old woman,an 18months o child,her business and the house? You are now saying she's not a good woman you are the good woman Abi? Park well abeg. P2 make your husband understand oo better still he should do it himself if he has refused all options invite your mother over too. And as they have said be diplomatic about it. I wish you well.
DeletePoster 1 my own better small pass ur own @ 32 I lived in PH managing my contract work jeje paying house but anyday my mum called from Lagos men see fear to pick calls cos naa so so story oh marry, bring husband all my friends I dey follow them buy aso ebi. See long something oh and cos of me been First born not married yet my mummy get High BP onto my marry issue naa hin in gather moral talk to that's my reason for not coming home and no be by force to marry naa there sermon start. Naa God hand I dey oh. Me I no dey go lagos for Christmas sef make I no blame myself at the end. So teh my younger sister won match make me to gas seller. And my mum sef put mouth na there I crazy oh.me naa when I dey in the mood to Pick my mum and sis call I dey pick make I do die unto husband matter
ReplyDeleteGas seller? That's bad enough
DeleteFor a moment, I thought it was gala seller
No mind them o and when you marry some devil, they will not be there to help you. Abeg wait on the right man.
DeleteNarrative 1, I just cant bring myself to understand ur.parents cos.u re just 27yrs old.....pls get in touch wit stella if u can come to delta......but how can ur 14yrs old sister beat u? are u mad? u dey fuck u o...
ReplyDeletePoster 1...I feel ya pain.my hubby is running for a top seat in govt n if he wins..I will foot sum of ya wedding bills dts if d guy is ready n willing to marry u nxt yr.if nor of u dnt mind relocating, I will fix u up wit sumtin gd dt ur siblings will hav to fill forms to see u.i promise.i hate emotional abuse. Pls I beg u dnt commit suicide, hang in der and God will see you thro.he loves you agst all odds
ReplyDeleteI pray your husband will win but please if you are planning to use GOVERNMENT money made for the PEOPLE OF YOUR CONSTITUENCY anyhow, you are wrong. Please madam help the people in your area first. You want to foot bill for wedding and then how will they feed? If anything give her and the man a job. Pls the money is not yours to spend.
DeleteAdura!!!!!!
DeleteChai beggy beggy will start now...poster shaperly contact this woman before dem over throw you ooh...and put her hubby in prayers too!!
DeleteOkotorigba! M not surprised. I have demons as parents dealing with me too only difference is that m old enough now I can take care of myself. They will answer God on the last day.
ReplyDeleteN2 ur husband is just so silly n insensitive Nigerian men like to push their boundaries n feel they can get away with it. Tueh!
Poster 1.
ReplyDeleteInukwa! If your story is real, I doubt if those are your real parents, please try to find out. Are you in any form disabled, just asking, I don't understand how a 14yrs old girl, would attempt to beat a 27yrs old Adult, and all u could do is to try to defend urself, and gets insulted by ur mom for it. Please find out if those are ur real parents.
Poster 2. Encourage and insist that ur hubby, gets a helper to assist you in taking care of your mother inlaw or one of his sisters, should come over and look after the woman.
To be honest, your husband is not doing he right thing. He needs someone to talk to him. The daughters are the ones who should be taking care of the woman. If they are too busy for their mum, they can contribute money to get a nurse or a maid for her. If she does not have daughters, that would have been a different issue. When you break down one day, they will surely look for an alternative solution. Rose
ReplyDelete1] Poster e be like say ur mama na real life Patience Ozokwor...hmm
ReplyDeleteJust try nd look for a better paying job dear, save some money nd move out for them. Don't fight or insult her...just take it easy cos God's time is the best. With time nd prayer he will locate you....kpele
2] Madam I understand wat u mean...I remember bak den wen my grandma was still alive nd she was living with us, my sister nd I really suffered cos we had to bathe her, feed her, clean her up every minute of the day, wash her clothes (the ones she peed on nd even pooped on) nd make her comfortable, it wasn't easy at all. We made sure the house doesn't smell nd anyone that comes to our house will neva know that an old woman was there until she later died smh...so I really understand ur frustration cos its exhausting. Just call ur hubby nd talk to him in a calm voice, plead with him to see reasons with u nd show him how ur suffering...ndo its well!
#1: Ohhhh! Honey, my heart bleeds for you. Your mum means well but her mentality is misguided and the society plays a huge role in compounding the erroneous notion that a lady's worth is determined by her marital status. The most scary part is, it's almost inevitable that you will marry the wrong man or marry the right man at the wrong time and for the wrong reasons. Honey, pressure is counterproductive in any relationship. Even a man who loves you to the moon and back, will snap if you keep pressuring him to do what he isn't ready for. He will resent you eventually. Pressure can even make you marry an armed robber, just to get your parents off your back.
ReplyDeleteIf only you had a place to stay, you are better off away from such a toxic environment. I can't even process the rationale behind your younger siblings beating you up! Who does that? What a hell hole! I don't care how scandalous your past is, as long as you've moved on, nobody has the right to use your mistakes against you.
Please, my love, hang in there. Don't give them the satisfaction of seeing you break down. Perish the thoughts of suicide, that's like a slap on God's face. Pray to God to bring your deliverance from your present predicament. Baby, I know this will probably be the most difficult thing to do but, please stop putting undue pressure on your guy. Let him feel free to do what he wants, when he wants. Who knows what God has in store for you? Your miracle may only be a day away. Please, my darling, please don't give up yet. The fact that you are still alive shows that God is not through with you yet. #e-bearhugs.
@poster one, get more empowered and move out cos they are stifling you and pushing you into worse situation with rush rush marriage. Get busy with church or vocational skill to stay off and come home to rest.. They will bless you with the same tongue they cursed you with. Which kind training is your mum giving your 14yr ols sis to disrespect you? She will see her own when she's pressured to marry too. @poster two, talk to your husband for daytime care cos if anything happens to mama (God forbid) you will be blamed for neglect, don't act superwoman and breakdown as mama needs constant care.
ReplyDeleteI dnt knw y men dnt see thingz d way women do,.Haba..a woman wit a child dat is barely 2yrs den u bring old mum join.yet she get married dautas. Ltr d family wil say d wife na bad wife, witch, jezebel nd al sorts of names.
ReplyDeleteWow!!!! World people.
ReplyDeleteHow can a mother do such a thing? God abeg ooo...... I don't even know what to say but God would dry your tears very soon, you should persevere and talk to God when you get depressed.
Hian! Oh
ReplyDeleteWow@poster num 1
ReplyDeleteI don't know why you are a target really..am sorry to say this..you described your home like it is filled with people without respect nor boundaries..if am correct,that means you too might not be any different from them..please don't take this the wrong way until am done here...it might change your situation for the best:
If you are like your 14years old sister,it will be difficult to get her respect..do you accord your folks respect?? Do you abuse them in front of her..i know siblings,parents can be mean and inconsiderate sometimes but you painted a picture of innocent,quiet you that gets picked on...If by any chance you exchange words with your folks,have compound fights with them,shouting fits....your issues might stem from that...
Am actually not too shocked about the marriage aspect because I know most mothers are like that,but the worrisome part is the gang up(your father and mother) and a 14years old sister trying to beat you up..this is a no no for me...I wish you can move out since you are at least working.....do not discuss your man with them anymore....They should also stop calling him! Hian... Don't let them pressure you into marriage ooh..this kind of family aint loyal! When issues come out now..they will be the first to laugh at you..carry yourself like the lady you are,conduct yourself properly,don't be seen all over the street with that your boyfriend..he is not married to you yet..so he should not be seen hanging around anyhow in your neighbourhood,it will further reduce the respect your people have for you and expose you to public ridicule...contribute when you get paid..by buying food stuffs..etc. if they are human,you will notice a big difference
@ poster one:I am sorry for what you are going through;but pls don't try anything funny on your life;because if you do;you will not also find peace in the after life too.Go on your knees in your confinement and call up to God believe me;he answers. From your story; you wrote many times that your mum said that you lived a reckless life.is it true.if it is true;then your actions must have brought out the worst in her and fears too.but the one I don't support is even your younger sibling insulting you.one thing that I have learnt is never to involve children in adult talks or family issues in order to score your point. but have you done anything that will make the family to have little respect for you.but what ever is the case;I know that now you feel bad about them and the Lord will make you whole and also give you peace.In his own time you will get your better half but please don't be desperate because of what your family is doing; so that you will not fall from frying pan to fire.So I will say the solution for now is to find a place to stay; maybe with a relative or a trustworthy girlfriend. all the best.
ReplyDeletewhy not focus on other things that make u feel fulfilled and ignore your family, although I think there is something you ve done to make them react to you this way, apologize to your parents and focus on God.
ReplyDeleteposter 2, you cannot carry all the weight of the world on your should,ers, you need to make your husband see the need to take some burdens off you before u collapse
I dnt knw y men dnt see thingz d way women do,.Haba..a woman wit a child dat is barely 2yrs den u bring old mum join.yet she get married dautas. Ltr d family wil say d wife na bad wife, witch, jezebel nd al sorts of names.
ReplyDeleteWOW!!!
ReplyDeletePoster num 2
ReplyDeleteI cannot claim to know what you are facing right now really..and truth be told,it is not that old woman's fault because everyone will grow old someday..i grew up seeing my mom's mother in our house then occasionally,at a point..she became too old and forgetful..my mom catered for her,my mom's sisters used to come help out too..it was not easy cos she needed to be watched all the time in case she strolls off without knowing how to come back...
Then my dad's mom got ill and also came to stay with us before she died..she had a single advanced daughter living close by....my mom channelled her energy into trying her best and ignoring that one..before she died..she really blessed momsie.. you can get through this..
Since hubby's sisters have refused to see that their momma might need to be kept in their houses too..maybe after some months in yours..leave it to God then!! They are supposed to give you a breather sometimes..they should also keep mama for sometime..since this responsibility has fallen on your shoulders....you need to get a help at least..i know young relatives then made my mom's work easy for her since she was working...leave the nurse matter cos not every average family can afford one..how many rooms do you people have? will the nurse leave with you? These are maybe what hubby considered..try as much as possible not to see your husband as selfish,he will also think you are selfish...and this will end up putting a strain on your marriage..
This is like a huge demand on you,but try just try...it might be your mom tomorrow that needs care too...get a help asap!! you surely need it...I wish you the very best!
Poster#1 did u sleep around when u were younger n did ur mum advise u not to? Plead with ur parent to give u time. Seek the face of God.
ReplyDeletePoster#2 tell ur husband an emergency came up in ur family n plan it well with ur family. Then go away from friday to monday leaving him at home with his own mum. Maybe he will reason to get an hired help.
Poster#1 did u sleep around when u were younger n did ur mum advise u not to? Plead with ur parent to give u time. Seek the face of God.
ReplyDeletePoster#2 tell ur husband an emergency came up in ur family n plan it well with ur family. Then go away from friday to monday leaving him at home with his own mum. Maybe he will reason to get an hired help.
Poster no 1...i really feel bad for u...but honestly u dont hv to tk dat frm dem...if even if its one room apartment or to squat with a gud frnd..jus leave d hus and den wait on God...as for ur bf...i know d hustle aint easy but if you guys will put heads togeda even if na brideprice he go cum pay dat one better.
ReplyDeleteposter no 2.....its a gud tin,u already know what to do..mk ur hubby see reasons biko..
And Stella please don't say ship off like that abeg!! You think any man will take kindly to shipping mama off?even angels turn to beasts when it has to do with their moms..This requires wisdom oooh
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1---- my prayer for you is dis,may d lord turn all ur captivity into glorious celebrations and may d mouths of your family be wide open with shock,keep calm u hear??better days ahead...By the way,wat kinda stupid spoilt 14yr old sist wud be beatin and insultin a woman of 27?? Is she crazy or wat???this see finish too mux.*fist*
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2----keep singing it into ur hubby ears in a loving manner...buh come 2 tink of it,y are the two married daughters of the woman so insensitive to dia mothers need......nawa oo
*faithful bv enemuwe thelma*
Narrative 1---- my prayer for you is dis,may d lord turn all ur captivity into glorious celebrations and may d mouths of your family be wide open with shock,keep calm u hear??better days ahead...By the way,wat kinda stupid spoilt 14yr old sist wud be beatin and insultin a woman of 27?? Is she crazy or wat???this see finish too mux.*fist*
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2----keep singing it into ur hubby ears in a loving manner...buh come 2 tink of it,y are the two married daughters of the woman so insensitive to dia mothers need......nawa oo
*faithful bv enemuwe thelma*
Narrative 1---- my prayer for you is dis,may d lord turn all ur captivity into glorious celebrations and may d mouths of your family be wide open with shock,keep calm u hear??better days ahead...By the way,wat kinda stupid spoilt 14yr old sist wud be beatin and insultin a woman of 27?? Is she crazy or wat???this see finish too mux.*fist*
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2----keep singing it into ur hubby ears in a loving manner...buh come 2 tink of it,y are the two married daughters of the woman so insensitive to dia mothers need......nawa oo
*faithful bv enemuwe thelma*
Narrative 1---- my prayer for you is dis,may d lord turn all ur captivity into glorious celebrations and may d mouths of your family be wide open with shock,keep calm u hear??better days ahead...By the way,wat kinda stupid spoilt 14yr old sist wud be beatin and insultin a woman of 27?? Is she crazy or wat???this see finish too mux.*fist*
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2----keep singing it into ur hubby ears in a loving manner...buh come 2 tink of it,y are the two married daughters of the woman so insensitive to dia mothers need......nawa oo
*faithful bv enemuwe thelma*
The first narrator: that's a sad situation but I don't think you should loose ur respect and dignity coz you can't bag a husband and for what it's worth. Ure 27 not 57.and your younger sisters attitude.. My God, that's jur wrong.. You shud smack the hell outta her. What does she know about marriage. You should totally gain ur respect back. I mean ure a matured woman. Think outside te box. You have a whole life ahead of u. It's not like u have a bad diesase, and marriage isn't even the ultimate for Pete's sake. Plus mayb if you stop depending solely on your parent. Try getting a job. Get busy. Your youthful stage is really imp and if you miss it worrying over this you just might regret. And be prayerful. Try getting close to God. I'm not saying it's going to be easy but trust me.. You have to start from somewhere.
ReplyDeleteAnd the second narrator boy o boy! Donno why men won't stop this... Taking care of a bby isn't easy talk less of an old woman... You have to be strong. Have a deep talk. Pray about it coz I don't see how u goin to pull it off. God bless you both.
The first narrator: that's a sad situation but I don't think you should loose ur respect and dignity coz you can't bag a husband and for what it's worth. Ure 27 not 57.and your younger sisters attitude.. My God, that's jur wrong.. You shud smack the hell outta her. What does she know about marriage. You should totally gain ur respect back. I mean ure a matured woman. Think outside te box. You have a whole life ahead of u. It's not like u have a bad diesase, and marriage isn't even the ultimate for Pete's sake. Plus mayb if you stop depending solely on your parent. Try getting a job. Get busy. Your youthful stage is really imp and if you miss it worrying over this you just might regret. And be prayerful. Try getting close to God. I'm not saying it's going to be easy but trust me.. You have to start from somewhere.
ReplyDeleteAnd the second narrator boy o boy! Donno why men won't stop this... Taking care of a bby isn't easy talk less of an old woman... You have to be strong. Have a deep talk. Pray about it coz I don't see how u goin to pull it off. God bless you both.
@poster two:well done with the work that you are doing; but my dear you know in marriage; they say one plus one;equals to one.so the woman there is your mother;even if your own mum is still alive.Let me ask you; if your mum was the one there won't you take care of her with your whole heart. who said it will be easy.why do you want your husband to send his own biological mum away because she is old.you don't want him to do his earthly duties by taking care of the mum.the way she did to her children. even if she has millions of kids.it is all their responsibilities together and not only for the females in the family.if your husband wants the mum to stay for sometime in his house; pls don't discourage him and do it with your whole heart and get the blessings that will follow it.maybe is the way that you have been behaving; as if she is a well spelt out liability that made your husband to put deaf ears to your need fora nanny.he is hurting and not selfish.is his mother that you are talking about.maybe if you were doing it joyfully; your husband would have loved it and appreciated you by getting a help without you even asking. stop this lamenting now pls.she is not given you trouble from what you wrote so why lament.most of you think that marriage doesn't have very great sacrifices and above all we Africans that marry the whole family and not only our spouses.
ReplyDeleteBut the man isn't d one taking care of his mum na, he livs early to work nd poster has a daughter and business to look after, mama has daughters who dnt deem it fit to house their mom, in Africa, if ur husband has sisters, it's d gals who look after d mum not d man's wife, if poster is comfortable at d arrangements she wnt complain, remember she has a life, even wen one is doing this for one's mum,atimes u go tiya talk less of hubby's mum, u sef check am,weigh am and balance am
DeleteNarrative 1:pls sorry for asking dis ? Are you sure they are ur biological parents???? cos I see no reason a parent will treat her own daughter like dis just because she is not married haba dats wickedness.
ReplyDeleteMy mom wanted to try dat with me always rubbing it to my face dat my sister is married dat wat am I waiting for bt I told her am better off her daughter who is married . Each time she Ask me for money I will let her know dat shebi she knows dat am not married nd dat my daughter is my priority for now. It is well with you dear but suicide is not d way out.
Narrative 2:dat ur hubby is very wicked ooo y don't u tell him u need a house help at least d stress will not be much for u even if d help is for ur mother-in-law alone.
ReplyDeletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
Things like this they make me dey reconsider marriage i swear.....
*GLO BRING 3G TO KONTAGORA*
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***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Narrative 1: Babes, just calm down. They can't chase you out of that house. What is your dad saying about everything. Don't let your parents and siblings make you do the wrong it. Do they want you to marry a monster in sheep clothing. Your being alive is a blessing to them, in no time, the resources will come and you will be married. If you don't calm down and you allow them force you into something terrible, only God will save you. Relax your hour of rejoicing is closer than you thing.
ReplyDeleteThanks paloma gal I almost thought someone will have loaded the airtel recharge card. God bless.
ReplyDelete27 years old ? Still in your parents house ? Biko even if you are not married yet leave the house joor.
ReplyDelete27 years old graduate? They saw you through school, took care of you till u grew up , how can you have the mind of staying in their house at this age ? You expect them to feed you ? Take care of you and call you aunty on top ? It doesn't happen that way biko
And dis is how u expect us to vote for u?
DeleteNarrative 1:u guys mst b yoruba....similar thing is happening in my house nw...jst dt my dad is d only person.... Our elder sister is jst 25 nd my dad wnt let her breath without the marriage talk....she got frustrated dt she had to bring her bf home nd d guy wasnt even married....I think my dad told him if he wasn't marriage ready he shld leave his daughter dah na aw the guy run oo....nw d situation became worse wen my father nw knew dey broke up....if she drinks water it's go nd marry....if she walk too much it's go nd marry...luckily for her she got a job in lagos na so she run....even though it doesn't pay as much as d one she was doing previously in abj Buh she don run leave ause oo.....I think if u shld jst give ur family less of your time dey ld let u b
ReplyDeleteBut poster number 1
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for you, but I'm beginning to think there's something you aint telling us completely...
How come the whole family is ganging up against you, even your dad?
What's your family like? Has it ever been united?
Maybe we should start from there..
Please don't kill yourself
ReplyDeleteLeave the house and squat with a friend
And for your little sister teach her not to insult elders again by giving the beating of her life before you move out
Hang in there with faith and prayer number 1 , your time will . Everything in life have a date to expire including pain and sickness . Just like someone said up there , limit your movement around them . DO NOT ATTEMPT SUICIDE PLEASEEEEEE . YOUR TOMORROW WILL BRING JOY,LOVE AND LAUGHTER IF YOU'RE HERE TO MAKE IT HAPPEN .
ReplyDeleteI love and live for having the last laugh,when it seems as if all is lost . JUST FOR THE RECORD NNE ,*MARRIAGE IS OVERRATED * SO MAKE SURE YOUR HEAD,HEART AND EYES ARE IN CONTROL BEFORE YOU SAY I DO because only you will bear the stress . Goodluck sweetie AND STAY STRONG.
Hey you number 2, I feel you real bad . I can only say SORRY DEAR !
Sir your hubby's ass down with all your frustrations and anger written down to avoid forgetting any in case of argument and it down for him the way a blind man will understand without help . If nothing is done after that , arrange a little get away, maybe to a family member home and let him or the sisters take care of her for the weekend to feel your request and get you a help .
My sister in-law that lives with my mother in-law before get death was placed on a monthly pay role by me because I know I can't give my best all times to her as I should do especially then when was like a baby . Her kids later got a helper to assist their sister in taking care of her and everyone was happy at the end of the day . Congratulations dear for th birth of your baby !
Problem 1.. That your problem na Sorry eh. When you are going through this it isn't funny.
ReplyDeleteFear has been stimulated in your mother that it has given birth to rejection and disrespect. This has also generated strive which can disintegrate the family. What is the head of the household doing. Joining the band wagon? You see assignment?
This one na fire by force. Start by praying during the strategic hours. Midnight, 3am, if need be during the day 6am, 3pm and 6pm. But fast like half a day at least once a week and read your Bible. Psalm 23 and Psalm 91 should be part of your prayer point and love should be established in your home. No matter what note that God loves your He remembers no one's sin it's all forgiven in the eyes of God. NOte that you are praying FROM VICTORY not FOR VICTORY. YOU HAVE ALREADY WON.
Meditate on these Psalms think them over and apply them to your life. Your focus should not be people but Jesus Christ the Savior. All will fall in place.
See I had a different crisis, suddenly such disrespect rose out of no where from my Mum. Another crisis adding to the one I got. Because I was already on fire for my breakthrough the initial crisis. I put this before the Lord. I say Overnight the Lord solved more than one problem for my breakthrough. Meanwhile I have been praying for my initial crisis like months. you see when you are close to your breakthrough.
It was my Mum that had to assist me so these enemies sent an assignment to my Mum. By the time I told the Lord. See how revelation came out. God sorted this Fear out of my Mum. My Mum wiped her eyes and helped me out. The enemies were so shock because we were under the banner of the Lord.
Curse Fear and Manipulation in your family at it's very root. Cast it to the sea IN JESUS NAME.
All things work together for good. You will grow to know the Lord trust me your breakthrough is near. That your guy loves you and tell him to also stand up and pray also and meditate on the word. This is just the beginning of wahala. When you get married other problems will equally rise up.
Such force of problems attack champions so they can give up or commit suicide but know who you are and not focus on this but on the Lord. Ask the Lord for strength and Love.
Even 1 WORD a cry for help.. will help. You been crying for help now you asked Stella. What inclined you to ask Stella isn't it a process of the help you are asking The tons of advice you will get is it not the process of the help.
YOU ARE BLESSED AND HIGHLY FAVORED. I hope you attend a Church of Love not a condemnation self righteous church.
You will be walking in Peace like Jesus Walked on water. Did Jesus not see the storm was the water not transparent? People will ask you how come you so calm peaceful all these problems. The problems have an expiry date. As you mature you will know that the peace that passeth all human understanding is yours. Jesus Christ came to give you life and more abundantly. Peter sunk because he focused on the storm not Jesus Christ, allowed fear.
Hope you see where I am going. I didn't come to this revelation overnight but life is a journey. My enemies keep asking me how are you calm. Msheew Glory to God. I also have the courage to discern and walk away from toxic environment. I know you don't have the means now. The Lord will see you through.
I mean there will be problems but let them not overtake your mind and peace.
Speak to yourself tell yourself, you are BLESSED LOVED AND HIGHLY FAVORED.
God bless.
Problem 2.. sorry eh. It doesn't mean that his other siblings are girls they have to attend to their mother. There is a family with only boys and yet they attend well to their mother.
ReplyDeletePlease wisdom needs to be applied. You have already established your husband is selfish. Ok before you married him was he not showing that selfish trait or it suddenly just appeared? Sorry oh
My take will be that wisdom should be applied. Being that you are somebody people take advantage of. God will provide. From that your small business employ a part time worker. Either the person is at the shop or assisting you in the house. This is because your focus is on to take care of a human being. God will bless you my sister. Don't focus on the problem and hurt. God will bless you. You will see solutions that you never seen before. Love and Peace. GOD WILL BLESS YOU. GOD BLESS.
If poster is happy wr d arrangements she wnt post d story, d old woman took care of her kids, they shd take care of her too not her son!s wife who has a daughter nd a business, cNt u c she's not happy? Abeg mk ona de talk word wey get head
Delete*wt....son's
DeletePOSTER 1. You are not ashamed to say that your 14 years old sister fight with you.... Pls beat her silly. Use coke bottle to break her head, Break the head to the extent that they will rush her to the hospital.... nothing will happen. it wont kill her. break the plasma in the living room and also threaten to break your mothers head with bottle if she dares annoy you again. don't fold your hands. i know your type. from the little you said we can generalize that you are not a bad girl. you are the shy type and you don't have much friends. you live a lonely life ....... pls act fast and put your family where they belong..... Imagine your mom giving you ultimatum. Chase her out of the house. Tell her that you are in your fathers house and if she cant stand seeing you she should move out to her fathers house.....
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2.
Your mother inlaw is not your mother. No matter how hard you pretend is not the same as your mom. tell your hubby send her to his sisters immediately. they should be sharing the responsibility. since your hubby have 2 sisters. Jan sister 1, Feb sister 2, March your hubby, etc
Poster 2 you need to get out of town go visit your people ,then will see how he will cope
ReplyDelete*sit your hubby's ass down and break it down .
ReplyDeletemy sister in law that lives with my mother in-law before her death was placed on monthly pay .Especially then when she was like a baby .
poster 1..plz do not pressurize bf..shield him frm what u r goin thru at home else he will run..pray for him..plz move out of that house..but before you do.plz i beg you,give that ur littl sister an EPIC beating.one she wont forget in a hurry...i dont wana ask how u guys wer raised or d life u myt have lived but i see a dysfunctional and loveless family.the nerve of a 14yr old girl..my 22yrs old youngr bro dare not talk anyhow to me.i am jst 14mths older but my dad n mum will bend him..Gods grace..
ReplyDeleteposter 2:...i just have these words for you..treat her the same way you will treat ur mum.and remember,you will attain that age too..get a girl for ur shop.
#2: Sweetheart, you may dislike me for this but, I have to keep it real. Unless you are naturally insensitive or you aren't close to your mum, you wouldn't treat your biological mother this way.
ReplyDelete
Honey, that's your hubby's mum! How can you love a man and not accommodate his mum? Especially in such a pitiable state. No matter how you feel about her, once ill health becomes an issue, put aside your differences. Sweetie, please don't get me wrong, you are in a precarious situation and it's very unfair to a young wife with a baby but I still think it isn't that hopeless. You'll suffer major inconveniences, no doubt, but please take care of her because of the love you have for your hubby and your baby.
As for hiring a caregiver, are you sure your hubby can afford it? A lot of women overestimate their men's financial capabilities and in order to save face, the men play along. Don't bring your hubby down and allow us tear him to shreds unless it is absolutely necessary. Your hubby's mum is 88 years, she's closer to where she's going and that reality must be breaking your hubby's heart, especially in her present condition. Naturally, your hubby will get grumpy and act out. This is when we whip out our "superwoman" cape and multitask. You have to pet your hubby and be more caring, nurse and comfort his mum, be a mum to your baby and still take care of yourself. Whoever thought being a "MRS" is an easy task should think again. Allow your business take a back seat for now, no labour of love goes unrewarded. I'm sure you guys can manage with your hubby's income.
As for sending her to her daughters, a mother will be more comfortable in her son's house because he is the head of the house, unlike daughters who are answerable to their hubbies.
These are some of the sacrifices that strengthen marriages. Those who are quick to question why it seems it's only the women who have to bend over backwards to please the man, nature made it that way. Instead of arguing back and forth why your hubby can't be a better man, remember you married him the way he is so you have to learn to deal with the choices you made. The reason a lot of women are miserable in their marriages is because they keep comparing their hubby's behaviour to the "idea" behaviour of what they think is right and proper.
The choice is yours, my love, you can go on nagging and complaining and be miserable or wear your big girl's pants and work with what you have and learn to adapt to what you can't change.
Poster 2, I understand how you feel. It is your mother-in-law not your mother. But please start to see this woman as your mother. I promise you at the end of the day, you will be glad you did.
ReplyDeleteMy story: I took care of my mum as a single girl in early twenties. All my elder sisters were married. My mum had stroke, and she was total care like your mother-in-law. Because of her sickness, I couldn't attend university like my mates. I was at home all the time nursing her. All my friends were in school and all deserted me because I don't belong anymore. Do you know what? After she died, there was a great open doors for me. Today I am in the USA, I have masters degree. I am now more successful than all my siblings. Although am the family baby, I am now supporting everyone financially like am the first child. I am telling you this story because there is a blessing attached in taking care of a parent. Please pardon my long essay and grammar.
So sorry poster1...This too, shall pass...God. bless my mum, and I can't wait for her to dance at my wedding, my sister's too. I am old enough for marriage, my older and younger sis too, but my mum has never uttered one hurtful word to any of us, my dad tries to do so to my older sis, but he will get his reward soon, no doubt, and I will do the "siddon look" witch.... It is well mydear, and I pray things get better....I doubt ur bf will remain, I'm sorry, cos no man wants such pressure....
ReplyDeleteP2, I can't imagine what u are going through...Your hubby should get someone to take care of his mum...he must be an Igbo man, or first son....They do that alot...My friends mother in-law stayed with her for over 3yrs, and almost drove her nuts, until she got the woman out! You allowed her in, so pls bear it eh? 88 no too far again from God....lol...
Im always reluctant to comment atimes cos of personal reasons...days like this i wish i had all d money to support p1. Here's my opinion, set things straight with them ( let ur parents know your grieve, make them understand what they are doing to u emotionally, bf is not ur major focus now, gain a ground first by being financially capable, then bf can come through, do not ask ur parent for support, be very scarce cos i wont advise u leave home yet but if u choose to, get a frnd to squat wirh if possible pay half d rent so u wont be enslaved, before u leave home; teach that lil brat u call sis a lesson by beating her till she knees and apologise' for all, lastly be very careful, think it through and add a business to what uve got on ground, plus dont ever be rude to ur parents no matter what. Hearty hugs darling)
ReplyDeleteP2, don't tag hubby wicked yet, some dont understand the stress attached to motherhood which makes them feel we are superwomen n can do everything. Get a small girl to be taking care of mama before wahala kills u so that ur business wont fail too, pele dear. If he complains, just form Sickness straight up. But i believe its a beautiful thing helping out the old except that u have a baby. Please dont let the old woman percieve this feeling of yours. Weldone dear.
I was so angry as I read both narratives!
ReplyDeletePoster 1: I don't want to say anything about your parents out of respect but that your 14 year old sister is crazyyy! Is she bigger in statue than you? Fighting is all about tactic and not size. Trip her from under her feet, then sit on her while raining blows on her face or grab her head and bang it on the floor several times. That will teach her a lesson to respect her elder! Even if your parents pushed her to be disrespectful to you, she should have common sense that she is also a female and similar thing can happen to her! Is the duty of a mother to protect and pray for her children! Since you earn a little salary, can you squat with a friend and share the rent while you look for better job? Please don't rush into marriage out of pressure because it might boomerang on your face! And again, silence is golden. When they start their trouble, simply go out of the house or find a hangout you can stay till night and simply come back home to sleep. Eat outside if she refuses to give you food. Best of luck.
Poster 2. That is 9ja men for you! They just take it for granted! He is saying if she was your mother? Ask him if he will do same for your own father? His sisters are enjoying their marriage and he is wearing out another person"s sister! Let's call a spade a spade! My mother can never be your mother and vice versa! Sentiments aside o jare! Just as you can never be her daughter! Now, let's apply wisdom: Brief your mother and invite her over. There are women who work for daily wage, like women that wash clothes. Hire one of them that lives within your area or walking distance to be coming everyday to assist your MIL until when you close for the day. I don't know how you operate your housekeeping...all the same, be using part of the money to be paying and be complaining everyday that no money, when he asks what happened, tell him that, If you drop died out of HBP, he will marry another woman that will be taking care of his mother, within months, and your own daughter will be without a mother! This is a time for emotional blackmail madam! Best of luck.
Stella, Please, may I put up a link to a similar post I wrote about this? Thanks in advance :D
www.thenitty-gritty.com/2014/09/i-will-not-shut-up.html?=0
I was so angry as I read both narratives!
ReplyDeletePoster 1: I don't want to say anything about your parents out of respect but that your 14 year old sister is crazyyy! Is she bigger in statue than you? Fighting is all about tactic and not size. Trip her from under her feet, then sit on her while raining blows on her face or grab her head and bang it on the floor several times. That will teach her a lesson to respect her elder! Even if your parents pushed her to be disrespectful to you, she should have common sense that she is also a female and similar thing can happen to her! Is the duty of a mother to protect and pray for her children! Since you earn a little salary, can you squat with a friend and share the rent while you look for better job? Please don't rush into marriage out of pressure because it might boomerang on your face! And again, silence is golden. When they start their trouble, simply go out of the house or find a hangout you can stay till night and simply come back home to sleep. Eat outside if she refuses to give you food. Best of luck.
Poster 2. That is 9ja men for you! They just take it for granted! He is saying if she was your mother? Ask him if he will do same for your own father? His sisters are enjoying their marriage and he is wearing out another person"s sister! Let's call a spade a spade! My mother can never be your mother and vice versa! Sentiments aside o jare! Just as you can never be her daughter! Now, let's apply wisdom: Brief your mother and invite her over. There are women who work for daily wage, like women that wash clothes. Hire one of them that lives within your area or walking distance to be coming everyday to assist your MIL until when you close for the day. I don't know how you operate your housekeeping...all the same, be using part of the money to be paying and be complaining everyday that no money, when he asks what happened, tell him that, If you drop died out of HBP, he will marry another woman that will be taking care of his mother, within months, and your own daughter will be without a mother! This is a time for emotional blackmail madam! Best of luck.
Stella, Please, may I put up a link to a similar post I wrote about this? Thanks in advance :D
www.thenitty-gritty.com/2014/09/i-will-not-shut-up.html?=0
*drops dead*..oops..typo.
ReplyDeleteP1 wow! U r just 27 and u go thru all dat just bcos u r married? Wat wld girls like me do then..ur story makes me appreciate my family d more.I am 34 yrs old a graduate no job, still single,no even a prospective husband in sight and my family still support and encourage me.
ReplyDelete*not married*
ReplyDeleteNarrator number 1. You must never lose hope in God. I see a situation where the rejected stone shall later turn to be the cornerstone. Do not kill yourself. God is about to uplift you. Henceforth, pray for the perfect will of God for a life partner instead of His permissive will. Do not be in haste to jump into marriage.
ReplyDeleteNarrator number 2, you are the most inconsiderate human being on earth. If that old woman were to be your biological mother, would you complain?
Anybody that cuss out the poster that she is not good or if is her own mother, has not taken care of a sick adult before! I work as a caregiver in jand, and it's not a joke! It's the money that keeps me doing it! SHE WILL CLEAN HER BABY'S POOPOO, THEN USE THE SAME HAND TO CLEAN AN ADULT SHIT? Why are Nigerian men so thoughtless? Woman, you berra cry out to people to help you, before the stress gets to you! This same man will still need her to perform her duty in the bedroom, and when she complains of tiredness, he will go and have a mistress, who has all the time on her hands to pamper him and he will be cussing the poor wife at home. MSCHEW
ReplyDeleteIf the man was not married, won't his sisters have looked after their own mother? Will he go and bring his girlfriends to take care of his mother?
ReplyDeleteSingles,be careful! Some men marry so has to have women to clean, cook and look after them and later their sick parents! While keep still keep their side chicks for their pleasure!
My MIL was hinting that if she fell sick, her first son's wife will look after her. I happen to be the wife. Luckily for me, my husband was transferred to another state, so we moved. She fell sick after we left! She was taken to her daughter's house, but she complained that she did not like it there. All she wanted was to be brought to my home! But it was impossible, because she cannot travel a long distance with her sickness. Her son was even contemplating of bringing her, together with his younger sibling to assist her travelling to my matrimonial home, by the time i quarreled with him, he changed his mind, and they hired someone to be living and taking care of her, with his younger sibling. She is getting better.
Narrator 2, you should nip this at the bud now! For how many years will this continue? If you were also leaving home by 5:30am everyday, will he bring his mother over? or you were living in a self-contain, will he bring her? would he have agreed for your own mother to come if sick? Men pretend a lot! They don't like their MILS either! But they stay away from home for long hours with the excuse of work or catching up with the boys, while relaxing with their mistress in her home and come very late to sleep, so they won't be involved in any way!
Signed; Angry and pissed off commenter!