NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
LOVELESS ONE SIDED MARRIAGE
Good day Stella,
I'm on the verge of breaking up with my husband. The relationship started off and on for two years until we got serious in 2012 when I broke up with my then boyfriend; I thought i needed to b in a relationship. I. knew I didn't love him but because he's a nice person everyone in my family loved him and I was encouraged to marry him that i would learn to love him (he loves me crazy).
When he proposed, I accepted, he came for introduction and when it was time to do the traditional marriage, he said he didn't have the money yet,so I volunteered to lend him some money which he promised to pay back (in april)which he never did till date with the excuse that he's got some loan to offset. I have waited to love him but its not working. I sincerely told him that I don't love him and that I can cheat on him at any given opportunity; I pleaded with him to end the marriage(no white wedding yet) but he refused.
Sex with him most times irritates me. I even take some pills to prevent pregnancy which he even found out.One day I packed my things out of his house when he wasn't around, he begged me to come back and I did out of pity. The. problem is, I think i married him out of ignorance (learning to love him later) and the fact that he doesn't want me to leave him despite telling him I married him out of pity and even telling him dat our marriage is the biggest mistake I've made could be because he's looking forward to getting money from me to finance his business.
Dear SDK family, I am so confused, should I go or stay? he's nice and he loves me and does everything to make me happy and I'm still with him because i know he'll feel extremely bad if i leave him. I have prayed but i'm getting more confuse because of the kinda dreams i dream.Please I need your advice.
Awww you sound really confused but you kept hinting at how much he loves you and what a good man he has been...perhaps there is something that turns you off about him?.....your situation is dicey and i will urge you to think twice and explore all possibilities before you end the marriage
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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
FRENEMY ALERT - DUMP OR HOLD ON?
My story goes like this, I have this friend that has been my "bestie" for the past 16 years, since our secondary school days.
We went to the university and she studied medicine while I went for a cheaper science course. I was always the "bad girl" in school, always seen with men and sometimes aristos but my studies never suffered as a result of my waka waka oooo. Meanwhile she had her aristos too but was always claiming virgin and trying to show the world especially my mom that I'm a bad girl.
I got my 2.1 and graduated earlier cos she was in medical school. After university I had this guy I was crazy about and she was always calling to ask him where I was, telling him stuff about me, trying to give him the impression that I don't stay at home, meanwhile God knows I was 100% faithful to him. He and his friends warned me to be careful with her and he also told me she has this way of giving him "body invitation".
Years later I broke up with him, left for a different city started work and got a new man, she got married a year before me and is still not pregnant 4 years after marriage but that is not the actual point here. When I was pregnant with my first child, she was a bit supportive but when I gave birth she changed completely. I can't believe my so called friend refused to buy 1 diaper for my baby when I gave birth, not that I lack, but the way I'm so close to this lady, if I were the one I know I ll have emptied my account on her.
I visited her city and we went shopping, I had N8K on me while this girl had over N200K yet she saw me buying baby food and diapers, she even carry things on top my 8k ooo.
The bone of contention now is that the "bad girl" has gotten a child and is still expecting another. Since I told her I'm expecting my second child which was 5 months ago, this girl no wan ask about my health, she doesn't call or reply my pings and when I manage to call she doesn't ask about my health and is very hostile at me.
What shocked me was when a mutual friend of ours asked me what I did to her, that she has been speaking ill of me and said I'm feeling like a super star since I found out I will soon be a mother of two. Expired runs girl like me wey God pity give children, she wey be holy girl never still get. Abeg mek I cut this girl off abi mek I dey play along?
This might surprise you but i want you to reach out to your friend and show her some love..your probably unconsciously 'posed' with your first pregnancy and hurt her cos she couldn't conceive.she probably also has low self esteem and that is why she always wanted to bring you down or make like she is better than you...
she is probably hating on your right now but you already know why.Reach out to her in love please,her pain might be more than your anger.
Call her out...lovingly.
Stella d winches and winzadz u have on here should start confessing abegi
ReplyDeletePoster 2, take Stella's advice, but don't mistake God's Grace for acceptance. God still wants us to be good in his sight(not 2 impress anyone). Note dat ur story is not a testimony of how being 'bad' pays more than being 'good'. The ALL MERCIFUL God still remains the "Consuming fear".
DeleteN 1 please leave him if you no u can't stand his sight and love him. He deserves to be loved. So leave so he can find his soul mate.
DeleteN 2 hummmm what can I say. It's not by force to be friends. Please allow that your friend to be. Give her time, but would advise u pray for her. Because the truth is, she is envious of u. And it's understandable, cos she got married before u, but u have been blessed with d a kid and another one on the way. But give her space sha and pray for her. Use yourself as a point of contact for her. It's well. God bless u and give u a save delivery.
If U have ever tried making love to someone whose touch irritates U, then it will be easier to understand Poster 1. Please leave that marriage since U're not happy, marriage is not Do Or Die!
DeletePoster 2, that friend is evil! Stella is nice telling U to reach out to her, but I tell U she has an evil mind otherwise she wld have tapped into ur own blessings and claim hers! Call her to clear any doubts about your 'posing', then steer clear from her path. She has no good thoughts for U.
Stella shut up, she did not unconsciously pose anything.... U comment as if u can't read sometimes.... From the story the girl is jealous and have always been. You do not have to do anything for frenemies to be jealous... Pls cut her off as your friend.... She will never like you.... Keep praying for her but u don't have to be her friend...
DeletePoster two.....flee so fast nothing can stop you. The handwriting is on the wall.
DeletePoster one ....he loves your finances not you! Husbands are hard to find. Stop giving him money an d you might finally have some respect for him
N1, Na spirit husband dey worry you oo. Na so dem dey do. The spirit husband wants to push you out of your marriage to the street and push you to a man that will show you pepper. They make you despise your marriage or relationship for no good reason. Na mountain of fire deliverance na him sure for you pass. Don't say I didn't warn you. There is no husband in town oo.
Delete@ Annon 7:40, oh SHUT UP! You are the silly one here!
DeleteStella is "Perfectly Right", you have to be smart to read in between the lines.
I have friends with kids, thou I make it a very very important point of duty to buy every since child of there really nice clothes, shoes, etc (because I believe am sowing a seed), but our understanding of things are different.
Secondly, you don't "Pay Evil with Evil! You pay Evil with Good", she needs to reach out to the other lady and she will be shocked at the outcome of that one decision.
Shalom...
Anon 8:17, the other anons are right o! It is true you shouldn't pay evil with evil but it's not in one's best interest to be living and playing within evil's vicinity. Jealousy is a very dangerous thing, it leads people to do unthinkable things. According to her story, this jealous streak stems as far back as secondary Sch/university days; now the person whose image she's been trying to destroy all this while is now the one with 2 kids while the supposed saint is now the barren one or so to speak. Since her image-tarnishing ploy hasn't worked all these years, she might decide to hit her where it would really hurt because her jealousy level would have also escalated tremendously. And in this kind of situation, where would she consider an aspect/area that would hurt her friend the most? Her children of course! I think it's best poster#2 steers clear of that friend and stop bringing her near her precious family and kids. Also since the fact that she has children (a child & 1 one the way) is one of the main causes of her recent jealousy, the feeling will increase and deepen the more the friend sees her child and her growing pregnancy; only God knows what she'll be capable of doing to try to hurt her at that point. Abeg poster, stylishly keep her very far from you and yours. You might think you're showing her love by bringing her close but in essence could be exposed the most treasured possessions you have to danger........... Just Me
DeleteSigh
ReplyDeletePoster 2 drop dt friend like bad habit. Friendship is by choice not by force. Anoda thing I think u may hv rubbed dis ur friend off d wrong way cos I detect a hint of 'me wen dey do runs wen God don bless wit pikin crap'. So if I as a stranger can detect dt heaven knows what u may hv told her. Let her go but just call to let her know ure always der 4her. Now if she calls bac susequently, leave her alone. U guys don't need eachother
DeleteN1:
DeleteIf you leave that man, you will need all the luck and grace you can get to see a man who will adore you like this man does.
Have a time out, think think think. You love that man, you just don't know it. Travel for a week or more and see how you will feel about your husband.
There is a particular thing about him that's putting you off. Try and work your way around that thing and take control of it.
My dear, hold your man tight. Don't push that man to leave you cos he can. He is only tolerating your crappy crap cos he loves you.
Be wise.
N2
Your friend is only being a human being. Believe me 98% of ladies will act same. Its called jealousy and normal.
Have a heart to heart chat with her and i bet you she may shed tears and tell you how depressed she is.
No one is 100% good.
I may have done somethings to her whc may be wrong but there are many small things this girl does that are just so funny. When we both were single there was a time her man friend put his hand in his pocket to give me money and she slapped his hand and gave him eye signal not to. That one did not even pain me like the way she knew my purse am my entire money was stolen at balogun market. But when a friend of hers wanted to buy me food she refused, I spent 48 hrs hungry in lagos before I was able to find my way to my city. I have forgiven n forgotten all these o, its just that its so funny
DeleteMy dear u really make sense die....
DeleteAnonymous u did not detect anything, cos she is telling us does not mean she told that friend or acted that way.... Your friend does not like you cut off from her.... Some ple are friends with u cos of what they can get and ur story doesn't show she has always been nice to you....
DeleteStella that ur advice to poster 2 no be am abeg. Poster 2, I have been in ur shoes before, my best friend in uni was always envious of me and people kept warning me cos of what she kept saying behind me. Imagine telling one man not to stop toasting me cos I'm a heartbreaker, the man even warned me seriously about her. I no hear, until I noticed that anytime I tell her about any good thing about to happen, it doesn't materialise. It wasn't funny oh. One Prayer meeting I went for the Pastor called me out and described her and warned me about her, that was how I started avoiding her like a plague and cut her off, even from facebook, etc and all her sisters too. My life became much better. U better cut her off, immediately, what kind of deceitful friendship is that? Una dey play with una life oh, wait till she gives u poison
Delete@stell..u have a good heart I must confess....u just said my mind....i love u so much....sisterly love o...nor think otherwise o
ReplyDeletePoster 1- please i will allow my married BVs to address this issue.
DeletePoster 2- Hmmm.... I think you expect too much from your friend. I think you have ignored her childlessness as well. Ever asked her how she's doing? Or prayed with her? I'm not saying what she did is right. What i think is that you assume she must be like u or take things as seriously as u do.
See, there are girls I was close to in my younger years that i don't see eye-to-eye with, right now. Not cos they offended me, but cos I don't just think we are on the same page. Trust me there are some kind of friends that would fit her and they would blend wella!! Cos for me, if a friend sees me as a threat to her in ANY way, that's a red flag. I'd be good and nice, reduce expectations and love u so much but with wisdom. That's my advice.
Poster 1: dude hits you - wahala!, dude sweet like a mofo - wahala! Dafuq u want?
DeletePoster no 1. Its ur mindset and for the fact that he is financially unstable yet. If he had money to spoil u silly,wld u still be telling ds story? No,I guess. Its always like that when you married someone hopin to love him gradually and there is no money to speed it up. It takes determination and self discipline to be able to stay in that kinda marriage.
DeletePls do not end the marriage tell him u are sorry for ur words and make up ur mind u r stayin with him no matter what cos with everything you v said,d man seem a good person and poster,I hope he is forgiving enough to be able to forgive u for those harsh words cos u v stepped on his ego and some men will play along to make it first before showing you the implications of these words u told him
Poster 2,cut off a little from her bt after asking her to forgive u if u have ever said anything to hurt her cos u might have done so unknowingly
Dear Der Palmy,
DeleteAre you a hot blooded male ?
I think I like you.
*batting eyelids*
N1 leave don't ever stay with someone cos of pity, you would be doing him a whole lot of God.
ReplyDeleteN2 cut her off, you should have done that long ago, I don't understand your reference to money, diaper and all that! But she bad news, you can reach out to her when you guys Are in the same level.
If she's your friend she wouldn't hate on you no matter your background, I've had really "bad" friends, married, expecting and I don't judge them with their past at all, it was just a phase in their life that they overcame, please cut her off.
Narrative 1
ReplyDeletePoster one thing you should never do is marry someone out of pity, its the wrong reason to get married or be in an intimate relationship with someone, its misplaced priority. Marriage is a lifetime union, so I you don't love him, then throw pity into the wind and just let go off the relationship. He is not suffering from anything why the pity?
Narrative 2
Please its no point being friends with someone that doesn't want to be your friend again. I am not saying you should start keeping malice with her, but don't consider her as a best friend again, and your confidentiality shouldn't be let known to her again. just stay at harms length with her.
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Poster No.1, I was in the same boat as you, exactly same situation, I kept asking myself what would I tell the world is my excuse for leaving the man, cos if you tell people u left cos u don't love him sounds flimsy and they'll simply assume u've met someone else. I would cry myself to sleep all night, I was so miserable. It affected me psychologically. One day just like you, the guy travelld and I moved out, the mistake u made was to going back to him after u succeeded in leaving. Am happier now, i'd rather die single than be in an unhappy marriage. I have a child for him so he comes around to see the child. That's it.
DeleteNa wa.
DeleteAll these marital tales of doom.
I think I'll hold on to my maiden name for a while.
No rush, no push.
As in Ehhh marriage come they fear me.
DeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteNobody here is capable of telling you to stay or leave your marriage...and I dislike it when people say "he only did my traditional rites"..In my place,traditional wedding is as good as being married!
I wish you all the best in the decision you make..my father had this adage for us..always remember that the grass is not greener at the other side.... many successful marriages you hear about or see today required a lot of work before it became all rosy... if you truly think you will never ever be happy in this marriage and you are not willing to make it work,call your folks in a matured way and tell them,traditionally,they know how to dissolve the marriage(by returning the brideprice)..stop the whole packing and coming back....don't stay out of pity.
I will leave you with this quote: It might take both spouses to break a marriage but it only needs at least one willing person to make it work. your hubby might be that willing person.... Your marriage is worth fighting for.
Second poster
From your narrative...you actually come across like you think you are better than your friend..from the few pointers you gave us..i might be wrong ooh
I have some questions for you...How many times did you reach out to your "best friend"? do you even know what she is going through?
I have a close friend..and I know the cause of her little delay,do you know your friend's???
Have you suggested things to her since you are "fruitful"
I referred my friend to this blog because I love her so much and I know she is always digesting stuff here concerning pregnancy while holding onto God's promises..have you asked your best friend to come to this blog and read real life stories??
Search yourself dear..i am sorry I will not be able to tell you whether to dump this woman or not..she is grieving..and you my friend will never know how it hurts!!!
Everything she is seeing right now is moving in a mirage..she is not seeing clearly,she is not settled...I am judging from your present assertions ooh...God bless you
1 million likes.
DeleteIphie dearie...making sense since 200 BC
DeleteI have said this before,traditional marriage is the one recognised by God himself. Forget all those church and what not. Your dowry was paid,your whole village was there to bear you witness and all. Even church wouldn't wed you if your dowry hasn't been paid.. Some tribe pay dowry same day with traditional marriage while some pay ddays or weeks or even months before the traditional marriage.
DeleteBack to the matter, I don't think you have allowed yourself fall in love with your husband. I don't think you are even trying to make it work. You said he is nice and caring and loves you. You have a man that dotes on you. Why then do you want to leave for the uncertainties? Why do you want to cross over to the other side? You think its greener out there? You have a man promising you heaven and earth? Telling you how he would do better than your hubby? He is not maltreating you nor abusing you. I rather have a man that dotes on me than the one I have to chase around or wonder why he is cold towards me. Or is it because he is not financially stable?
If you still think in your heart of hearts that you can't make it work or you have giving your best shot,then by all means leave,but if in future you don't find that man that dotes on you,don't go fighting the next woman he marries..
Poster 2
Check yourself very well
You don't sounds like you have your friends interest at heart
What's with all the you who is a bad gal having a child and expecting and her with the blah blah blah
Have you even discussed with her to know what is holding her back? Or even prayed for her
Please reach out to her like Stella said and be a friend. Friendship of 16yrs shouldn't be thrown away just like that. She needs you. She isn't jealous of you,she just wants to be like you
Your comments always blow me away .....I like
DeleteYes I have asked her and still pray for her daily. She claims she's not ready to go to d hospital. And she's a doctor. This lady calls my husband to tell him stuff all the time, she asks him why I'm preg too soon, why I ddidnt breatfeed exclusively, why I cooked dis instead of that. She doesn't see any good in me, not that I hate her, I don't, but I dnt knw why she can't accept that God has his ways of blessing pple. She tells everyone that I'm d only friend who is not jealous of her wealth, why is she not happy with me too?
DeleteI have asked her several time what she's doing concerning fertility and I always try to ask her in a good way. That was even before I got married and she always claims she's not ready, or she's enjoying life. I found out she was still sleeping around after marriage but I kept quiet. When my ex lost his dad I called to condole him and the next thing she told my hubby. He claims her hubby knows she's sleeping around, I have his number and his bbm pin, I ping him only once a year on his birthday. She calls my hubsband all the time, she doesn't ping me but pings my husband at least 3 times a week and she always wants a long chat with him. Today I asked him wat she always tell him and he told me he thinks she wants him to sleep with her as she always tells him she missed him and he should invite her to our city. But he doesn't want me to feel bad that's y he never mentiioned it to me. This is my 4th man telling me she's inviting him o. Abeg I don turn born again, no time for quarel
DeletePoster 2 u shd know dat wen a lady isn't pregnant yet she Wud feel bad n act strange towards her friend who has kids, Dnt throw it on her face to make her feel bad, even if she told d world dat u r a runs gal Nd she's a saint, that is past already, b d woman with a heart of love nd show her love nd ask her questions so u know if u can help her achieve pregnancy too, poster 1, u might regret leaving dat man, my advice is stay at him n learn to love him, look for d good tins in him dat attracts u, u might leave him now nd meet someone worse,pray too, moreover he don pay bride price, u r married my dear, do u tink all d married ppl u c was a story of love at first sight? Marry a good man that loves and treat u right not a Man U love dat wnt respect u
DeleteIphie dearie making sense wif her replies...please still in need of your email jst in need of smeone to talk to....I asked aunty stella for ur email
DeletePposter num 2..this is a total mess! Can you let that friendship go already??
DeleteJust move on dear....i don't even want to ask for more details..
Iphie.. This comment touched the biggest part of my heart. Kai! God bless you.
DeleteAbeg make una stop this goodietwoshoes advise. Like seriously???? I'm even surprised she is still friends with the woman after all the signs, even in skul. Her friend is a BAD person and should be avoided. Which one is, 'you don't know how she feels'? That woman is bad news and should be dropped like a hot frying pan. Haba! See advice!
DeletePoster, don't be surprised that your friend has lost her womb or even worst. Yes I said it! She is not even honest with you. Even if she is hurt abt her condition, she has a dark heart. DROP HER! STAY AWAY! Her type could kill.
Abeg y'all should be realistic with your advise on this blog! Kmt
Anonymous that wanted my e-mail addy..i posted it but either it entered Stella's pot of Okro or it will be loaded later...here it is again..iphiedearie@gmail.com..i will always love to communicate via emails...@LeeBerty,Mrs fine face,Cynhams,Ennie...Am always willing to learn too...thank you..Leeberty*ehugsssss*
DeletePoster 2, that girl does not love u from day one @ all!!
DeleteFrom all ur naratives, her evil mind didnt start today! Gushh!! Who does that??
Plz drop her like an ice!! She is no a friend @ all.
My 2 cent.
Poster the only thing I grabbed from ur response here to Iphie is u saying that she still calls ur hubby to tell him reasons that u aren't breastfeeding etc? I thought ur close knit friendship was in ur school days and she did same by telling ur boyfriends stuff about u?? Yet again she continued as u are both married? Means u still let her into ur private life as a married woman. Else she wouldn't have anything to base her talk with ur hubby on. Clearly u didn't learn from ur past experience. The antidote is to STOP letting her into ur private life. Shikena
DeleteOh then I grasped the intimate talk she has with ur hubby. Are u sure they ain't screwing already? OK bye
Poster 1- firstly let him pay your money quick!Secondly you are really confused,maybe you don't know wat you want cos personally someone I have no attraction for I can't marry,for you to marry him,lend him money(2marry u sef) means you saw something in him!Maybe the money issue is hurting you,that's why you are not thinking straight.
ReplyDeleteN2: you sound like someone that is trying to prove to your friend that you are better than her Now..So she has noticed your attitude and it's hurting her,there's competition among you two &you have made it known that you are winning (cos you have given birth and she hasn't) ...the ball is in your court dear, either you revive your old friendship(were she keeps badmouthing you) or move ahead, una no be twins abeg!
Phewwwww!!!!this is d longest I have typed in a while!
Ada, you have a point with the money talk. I didn't even think it that way. She may be bitter she is richer than her hubby.
DeletePoster search yourself. If money is playing a part in your anger and hatred for your man, then you really need to chill and cut him some slack. That man can become richer than you in a flash. That is money for you.
N1:
ReplyDeleteNne eh. I would join you in prayer. You have not done your white wedding btw. But I advise you to pray about it and allow God to lead you.
N2 : from what you said, your a nice girl. And you were also a runs girl. And from what I know, God does not look at our deeds to bless us. He forgives and blesses. It's not because we are so good, but because we belive in His goodness.
I advise you move a bit farther from your friend. Talk to her about what you've been noticing. Encourage and pray with her. But be wary. Be cautious. The heart of man is desperately wicked. If as good as Jesus was Judas still betrayed him, then em...we must all be careful.
Pray for her. It's not easy on her. Love her...but from afar. and move as God leads you.
I pray you apply wisdom and please forgive her.
God's grace dear. *hugs....
Since we r on the topic of love,
ReplyDeleteAm in love with 2 women I don't know which one to choose (in Tony Tetuila voice)
Madam loveless marriage, maybe you are still comparing him. I pity you when this guy finally makes it. He will use ur mouth to scrub toilet
Hmmmmmmm
Delete*raised brows*
*batt lashes*
Bring it forward, the love doctors in d house will help you out.
*thinking aloud*[ wonder who can help Agwo when his almighty agbaras cannot]…
That is just it!
DeletePoster n1 inugo?
You better turn a new leaf now and tell him you were testing him to see how much love he has for you and you are now certain he loves you (na today?) and start treating him like your husband.
Welcome back N. Dr. Agwo. Hehehe
DeleteThank You Doc! Lol..
DeleteI pity her already too
Lmao. If her marriage with him was good in her eyes she wouldn't even remember to seek a refund for the wedding money she loaned him. Secondly, for the life of me, it's bad enough that I do not love u. If u dont have money to wed me that would have been my bail out as it's a tangible enough reason to let u off. So why would I loan u money to get me locked up in 'a jail' of a loveless marriage? You shot yourself in the foot lady. Bad move
Delete@poster number 2;i understand ur point of view but maybe what you are thinking isnt what it is..did you confirm from ur bestie about what your "hearsay" friends said to you about her action?? If you didnt then you arent a good friend alldsame..
ReplyDeleteSecondly;i think you ve been rubbing your first "pregnancy" on her face which actually made her feel bad about herself since you are admitting that you being "the badt gurl" in school has gotten pregnant and about to have a second one too while she the "virgin runs girl" is still yet to get pregnant..
My advice is try to have a heart to heart discussion with her and let her know you still love her and also try to make her see you also feel her pain of not getting pregnant after all this years..this isnt a time when you should be shouting "FRENEMY" rather you two need yourselves now..but in anything you do;gO wITH yOUR bRAIN;cos people arent always what they seem to be...
PLS CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD MY LATEST MIXTAPE
@MARTINS ABOY
Poster 1 you made a big mistake marrying some one you dont love. Your family aren't the one living with him now. You said he's a good man, if truly you can't reciprocate his love just free him, because if you don't and things turn around for him financially tomorrow, he may show you his true colour. Him being nice to you now might because of his condition.
ReplyDeleteN2 I think you should talk to your friend ask her what you did wrong to her. Let her know you heard all she has been saying about you. Her respond will help you decide the next step to take about your friendship.
Poster one: marriage as instituted by God is foreva not one day ur in and d oda day u are out.. dere are few men dat blif in dat word love and he is one of dem he loves u and do care about uuu,y not think about his positive qualities and help him to work on d negative qualities wen u do dis ur love for him will grow....instead of thinking of walking away try to put ur mind in ur marriage and u will see how tinz will turn out......and most importantly pray to God. poster two : I wud say u Shud get close to ur frnd and encourage her and but at d same time be watchful cause pple dat are envious. Can do and undo.
ReplyDeleteThe man respects d institution called marriage,poster 1 marriage no be test and see oo, if he is nice den stay Bt if u cnt,go, hopefully u meet someone better but make u no go tey for shelf oo
DeletePoster 1 if you are genuinely not happy please let the man be you can't be with someone out of pity it'd not healthy.
ReplyDeleteUK blog visitors please click on my name for raw virgin human hair 7A and 8A graded. Thanks
Please while taking Aunty stella's advice you have to be very very careful nd stop telling her some certain things, I've been a victim or such friends who knows fully well that u are better than them but won't accept and looks for the slightest opportunity to make u feel inferior..... if I tell my story wit frenemy u will pity me.. please watch ur back, God is already showing u signs, the person u trust so much will so kill u and no one will suspect... biko,pls,Abeg be careful women are evil, very evil...
ReplyDeleteNarr1:
ReplyDeleteI dunno what to advise you on, as I never marry o
Narr2:
Cut her off completely
You dey here dey type chronicle.
Na wa o......let me sit back and relax
ReplyDelete@ poster1: you see what am saying;pls single girls in as much as you want to get married by fire by force;marriage no dey here and it is not tales by moon light.For the rest of your life;you will wake up with that person and you will see the person's face whether ugly oh or beautiful face.you will surely see am.my dear;you have made your decision; stick by it and what is happening to you is a mind set that you have before you entered into the marriage and which you have adamantly blocked your mind and soul to;which is I don't love him and will not love him.you said it yourself that he is good; so please free your mind and leave it bare and you will see;what will happen.He is not maltreating you so;make your marriage;because you gave everything for you to be married to him;even borrowing him money for your traditional wedding. My dear oh;make it work because it must surely work.that's how we do it everyday for it to work.
ReplyDelete@ poster 2:girls and their beefing coupled with malice; Is so obvious that both of you were doing;who is greater than me from the on set. even though you tried very much to heap it all on her alone.Your friendship was not set on a good foundation that's why the walls are cracking. but it's not late to reset it.start afresh and show love to one another selflessly not considering what the other person has or not.my dear material things will go one day;but the impart you made in ones life will live for eternity. she needs you now;drop your pride and embrace her like a sister.
To y'all single sistaz desperate to marry any nigga that comes your way by fire by force, think twice ooo
DeleteMarriage is not 'testing da Mick '
Me for one can't stand kissing a nigga I don't love... 'Yuck'
If u marry someone u truly love, u'ld love him whether rich or poor... U won't despise him...
Even with body odor u'll wanna kiss and lick him all over...
But if u marry outta pity or pressure, everything he does will irritate u. Even if he wears all the designer deodorants...
Please y'all single sistaz marry for love...💑
Poster one: I'm going to comment from the biblical perspective, I remember seeing a quote, that states marriage is God's way of showing us how wonderful and how difficult it is to love a human being
ReplyDeleteNow! Marriage is supposed to be like how Christ lived the church, and we as believers are the body of Christ, in our ineptitudes, Christ still loves us.
If your perspective of what love in marriage should portray can change, I think then you can start to see him differently. Think about it and try ok.
Poster 2: I thing Stella has said what I would have said, no need to reiterate .
Hian!
DeletePastor Sabongida. Commenting from biblical perspective, no quote.
Please supply the bible quote jare.
Here is the quote, Nicodemus 13:45
DeleteSabo Sabo!!
DeleteGoldscent she is versatile!!
Chai..i wish I had a grown brother true!!!
Poster 1, pray to God to help you fall in love with the man. And if you can forget the money pls do, as for the white wedding, hold on a bit. But just know that 60% of marriages are not the fairy tale story you think it is, even though you deserve love and happiness.
DeletePoster 2: dump that friend. She's bad news
Hahahaha!!! Goldscent won't kill me. Iphie dearie I admire ur impeccable writing skills.
DeleteSo you mean none of you have brothers??? Lmao..
General's wife how far? Do you have a brother?? Since these my blog crushes don't ve.
For those that will see my comment otherwise, pls get a sense of humor, it isn't expensive. Life is short
Dem go tire ooh..life is beautiful ojare!
DeleteSabo Sabo the Apostle! Hahahhahahaha
DeleteSabo I have a brother o.my immediate younger bro...
My brother is a good guy
He is generous.Over generous
My brother is very funny
Almost as cray as me...Lol
He is like 6 feet something,a hunk wit an excellent dress sense.
A clean guy...
I love my brother!
Buh Sabo,my brother is short-tempered!
*sad sigh*
@ the general's wife. Aww!!! I love them witty. Winks.
DeleteHe seems like a fun loving person to be with, just like you are.
I see his anger is the only imperfect perfection,
We can go for anger management class. Lol.
Thanks for obliging.
Hmmm, something just clicked in my cerebral cortex. Hope you are not the person I'm thinking you are oo the general"s wife.
Wait ist, are you presently in the states? Precisely Texas ?
Poster one: I'm going to comment from the biblical perspective, I remember seeing a quote, that states marriage is God's way of showing us how wonderful and how difficult it is to love a human being
ReplyDeleteNow! Marriage is supposed to be like how Christ lived the church, and we as believers are the body of Christ, in our ineptitudes, Christ still loves us.
If your perspective of what love in marriage should portray can change, I think then you can start to see him differently. Think about it and try ok.
Poster 2: I thing Stella has said what I would have said, no need to reiterate .
*loved
DeletePoster one, tink before u do whatever u want to do, coz u might end up loving a man dat dose not loves u like he dose, learn to love ur hubby, take off watever is on ur mind dat dose not make u lice him bk. Tink well madam.
ReplyDeleteNo1; The Married ones also cry/complain, so nothing is a guaranty to ones happiness except for the one you give your self. All the Best!!!
ReplyDeleteNo2; and you still call her your Bestie? Look Mrs, You are clearly in a "Situationship" and "Abandonship" should be your next line of action mbok. Okwa oso ga eme ugbua, no time for stories that touch for posterity sake...
#YourLegacyLivesOnProfDoraAkunyili*7/6/14
*Prayer For Nigeria in Distress x10 Daily*
Alobam!!
DeleteMy Love!!!
Delete#YourLegacyLivesOnProfDoraAkunyili*7/6/14
*Prayer For Nigeria in Distress x10 Daily*
Cock sucker aka sdk useless bouncer how market?
DeleteTake it easy you hear before your mouth turn whistle.
Ain't coming back to read your reply.
Fuck you Agadi ekwe nka.
Poster N1, Think well. PosterN2, Show her love but be very careful while at it, the heart of man is wicked o.Its well.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,u practically financed this wedding,so why d cold feet now?were u doing it to get back at ur ex?seem u married him for the wrong reason,and now d reality of marriage being hardwork has dawned on u,u want out!pls stay in there and learn to love ur hubby,its possible!i remember most of our mothers were betrothed but they learnt to love the men somehow and lived happily ever after.
ReplyDeleteStay away from other men that make passes at u,cos the moment u fall for any,ur marriage will fall out.rather transfer every love emotions u have to ur hubby since u said he's a good man.stay in there o!d grass is never greener on the other side!
Poster 2,leave that friend of urs,shes a jealous evil hearted woman,i mean what kind of friend will go out of her way to tell ur bf negative things abt u?Stells why will u recommend her to reach out to such a person?she will only try to frustrate d poster more cos she's already jealous.one thing abt such pple is that no matter what u do,they see it as a mockery!u can never be right cos of their black hearts!
Bless u
DeleteThank you! @QueenBee
DeleteWe forget that it's human beings we're dealing with at times.
This girl has been evil from day one. The pregnancy and childbirth did not did not make her the way she is. Its always been there.
If poster tries to do the 'heart2heart talk, her friend will change. Yes, but it will be pretence. She'll start forming nice and good and finally strike when all doubts have been cleared.. Let her stay away.
She should b. Closer to kids +. Ori omo lon pe omo wa ye....poster1,oko won lode o
ReplyDeleteNa everybody b yorouba lyk u,so if u comment in english,ur spoon go loss?
DeleteP 1. I don't want to remind you that the mistake you made is marrying someone you don't love, hoping love will come after marriage. My mum tried that with me. I no gree o. You are in it already, I feel you should try to make your marriage work. Focus more on his good points since you even attested to him being a good man and be blind to his weak points.
ReplyDeleteDivorce isn't supported by God. I'm glad he doesn't abuse you domestically. Don't quit ur marriage. What if you leave and the man you'll later find doesn't love you as much as you love him nko? My mum will do say that its better for the man to love his wife more than the way his wife love him, than vice versa. I always hear that sometimes the grass isn't always greener at the other end. Pray and commit your home into God's hands once more and all will fall in pleasant places
P 2. I feel you shouldn't leave your friend just yet. She might be feeling a bit jealous because she also want what you are having at the moment. Show her you love and care about her. If she doesn't pick your calls or reply your pings, drop an encouraging message for her. Even if she doesn't reply, at least she'll read it. You won't understand what it means to be looking unto God for just a child. Pray for her to also have children at any slightest moment you remember her. BUT and I mean BUT be very careful about how close you'll get to her. You may mean well for her but she may not. Avoid being too close because a jealous and desperate fellow are unpredictable. Its well.
Stella, I kinda of disagree with you.
ReplyDeletePoster 1:
I think you should end the marriage, I don't believe you would ever learn to love him. Life is too short for you to spend the rest of your life with someone that makes you unhappy. Some men are really nice when they know they have a lot to gain from you. Do what makes you happy, put yourself first. The issue of Chris B and Kae just made realize that, 90 percent of the love story we see on the social media are just mere illusions. People with low self esteem need to put their so called love life out there so people commend them and boost their self esteem. If you love your bf so much why don't you send him a text, instead of writing on IG, twitter, facebook and bbm. Happy people do not need to scream to the whole world that they are happy.
Poster 2:
Stay away from that friend, unlike what Stella said, you don't need to show her any form of love, no amount of love changes an envious friend. She has always been like that so the pregnancy issue is not an excuse, she should be happy for you and maybe God will bless her with hers. I can't stay in toxic relationship so people think I am nice. Some friends form besties with you but at the back of their mind, compete with you, so they can out do your every achievement. She has the bring down syndrome, if she thinks you are showing of with your pregnancy, she ought to have called you out instead of say trash behind you. I thank God for 2014 because he opened my eyes to see my so called friends for who they really are. I gladly shut the door in their faces. I may be termed blunt/troublemaker but I am a lot happier. I keep my good and bad times to myself. Like they say "20 friends can't be friends for 20 years" move on....PH GAL
Those people matter still dey tire me. See the epic reply Chris brown gave to karrueche,I can't deal mehn. Now there are many memes concerning drake stealing peoples gal friend. Lmao
Delete1:
ReplyDeleteA lot of women are married to men they don't love and manage to make their marriages work. Your problem is deeper than that. You don't want his child, you think he's sticking with you for money, you've said all these hurtful things to him and you've gone as for as leaving once before.
IMO, you have given up on the marriage already. There's no point continuing out of pity and maltreating him. Go your way and let him start afresh.
2:
This friendship seems so stressful and full of calculations & scheming. You both have bottled ill feelings towards each other. Bestie for almost 2 decades, yet see all the bad things you say she has been doing since your school days. Not a single good thing about her. I fear you.
If you are not so free with your friend that you can say all these things you have narrated here to, let her be and let the friendship die a natural death. Why are you "managing to call her"? It looks like she's dumped you already.
P2...u r so insensitive...stop flaunting IT(4yrs n she has no child but this bad girl has a child)..no matter d badmouth she gave u, u ain't God, stopeet pls...stop mocking her indirectly..pls. P1 if u don't love him pack out joor make babe wey love am come in. no beating around d bush. #my50cents
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean it as a mockery. But if it were me that spent 6 months without having any sign of pregnancy she l have called my hubby to ask him if I have ever told him anything about my past. Our mutual friend asked me not to ask her about what she has done about getting pregnant again. Because she did and got the insult of her life. She has just grown so bitter. I'm not God, but I'm not the cause of her childlessness either
DeleteWhy does she have access to your hubby for crying out loud. Do u have same access to her hubby? Delete her from your hubby phone n cut of that friendship. Friendship is not by force. This one is a liability n you guys r deceiving yourselves cos u clearly don't like one another so do the right thing n quit it. Or r u waiting for her to screw your hubby or worse case go diabolical? Personally I have no qualms cutting off unhealthy relationships. I do it with ease. Life is short biko.
DeleteExactly. It's like ur hubby is even compounding issues. No disrespect to u poster, but u lot seem like you are very young and do not understand what this kind of inter wound unnecessary friendship with ones spouses should entail. Brash men wouldn't even engage in these kind of idle talks with their wife's friend. Especially if he's aware uv been betrayed by such a friend in the past. If she says mean stuff about u to ur man, why hasn't he told her off and cut her the hell out? Woe betide the friend that'll be knocking my husband off before me or my absence.. ahn ahn. shouldn't ur hubby be the one to tell u to stay off her drama?
DeleteWhy is he entertain gists from his wife's friend and coming to feed u back the details? Like I said up there, are u sure they ain't straffing already? I'm sorry o but it seems so. Ah u are lucky o. Let me lend u my hubby for a few hours and you'll know what time of day it is. His no nonsense attitude will put all of u in check one time.
Abeg cut off her completely. I won't even suggest u try to make peace bla bla. Let her off jare. Best friend my ass.
Poster 1 marriage is not really about loving someone till u get goose pimples, its a decision, once u make the decision to love him, u will start seeing the good in your spouse, I think u need to think about what u really want in life, and see if he could be part of it.
ReplyDeleteposter 2 I don't keep friends but I think u should be more understanding of her plight.
Love is not everything in marriage ooo, am in love Na name of film ooo, d next man might b worse so u dnt end up biting ur finger in regret, whatever it is, it is 50-50, make ur decision nd deal with the consequences, he owes u moni is not an issue
DeleteI recently realised that I hv a couple of frenemies. All I do is rely on God's word. He blesses those that bless me, and curse those that curse me. So I seat back n watch them struggle with the consequences of being a double edged sword. The grt thing is dat she knws dt I knw.. It doesn't stop me from being the person I ⌣̊┈̥-̶̯͡»̶̥A̶̲̥̅♏, so I keep being good.
ReplyDelete*sit
DeletePoster1- you actually made a mistake marrying a man out of pity and also marrying him because your family loves him,I will advice you one thing,take a note book write out all the things your husband is good at,then another one the ones he so bad at,if at the end of the day the good part supercede the bad part,then try and learn to love him,look at his good part and use that to find reasons to love him,good men are rare esp if you see one that loves you,and you made a very big mistake by borrowing him money for your own marriage God already you started the marriage on a very wrong ground,but give him a chance to love him and discovered him,there something that will make you fall inlove with him ok. Poster2-im so shocked why you should allow a mere friend to even make you feel this bad,are women still having female friends that they call them bestie? My sisters are my bestfriends period any other is just a friend either gist friend or etc
ReplyDeleteStella you are right
ReplyDeleteN2, I suggest you trash out whatever issues she has with you then cut her off. If she can't be happy with you when you are rejoicing, there is no need having such a friend around you. Avoid such negativity and keep her at arm's length.
ReplyDeleteN2, I suggest you trash out whatever issues she has with you then cut her off. If she can't be happy with you when you are rejoicing, there is no need having such a friend around you. Avoid such negativity and keep her at arm's length.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, for the sake of yourself and unborn children please break off the marriage. Or whatever it is. Poster 2 I'd apologise to her if you've mistakenly mocked her with your pregnancy and also run for your life. Please pray for her from afar. The thing is this is actually not about u been pregnant and her not having a child yet, it's about her attitude towards you from the past. So before she wrecks you move away!!
ReplyDeleteSometimes, people will come here n give us one sided stories to attract pity from the house. Poster 2, Search ur mind very well and tell urself the truth maybe u will see where u offended ur friend. I had a bestie that lasted for 9 years. I was her maid of honour 2 years back. Heaven know I had always seen her like a sister. If I tell u d ill treatment that she gave me ever since then, u won't believe it. I stopped calling her cos we are in different states.It doesn't stop me from visiting her with money after each delivery. I know she will b telling people that am jealous cos she is now a mother of 2 n am still single but God knows d truth. I loved her so much but she showed her colour after marriage.Call ur friend n ask her what d issue is. Do u know how it feels to b childless after 4 years of marriage? Put yourself in her shoes n show her love. Calling her once in a while wouldn't be a bad idea. U must av said few bad things about her to people too. What my bestie said about me was where my anger started but she never knew till date.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 1: I didn't read. I'm tired of wives complaining about husbands and their about to crash marriages.
ReplyDeleteMtcheeeew!!!
Narrative 2: Majority of the people in my life are frenemies. So my advice is, don't bother yourself. Give her your middle finger and move on. Life is too short for one to start thinking about why someone likes you or doesn't. In fact, frenemies make life sweet.
Poster two, u expect too damn much from ur friend! U expect her to empty her account on u and ur baby, u expect her to buy ur baby diapers.Do u know how it feels having delay in conception? U should be giving her ur time, love and encourageent instead of expecting her to ask of ur health and all. U need to change!!
ReplyDeletePoster 1 there must be a reason why u married that man in the first place, like u said he loves u soo much.Please make your marriage work
ReplyDeleteIf you marry a man that you love but don't love u in reason, my dear you will realise that hell fire is on earth
Poster2 your friend is just envious of u, it happens put ur self in her shoe and feel what she feels, stay away from her biko
@poster1 why are you saying he only did traditional marriage? The only union our bible recognise is traditional marriage.white wedding is a copied tradition from the whites,you need a psychologist to talk to you! @poster2 friendship no be by force,i use to be close to someone that meant the world to me though she is far older than me was closed to her for 10yrs,she was like a mum cause she was there for me and I was there for her too but everything took a bad turn towards the end of last year,tried talking to her,for where,my mama call for where,my papa call for where! I backed out and let her be!i still miss our friendship, my dad always say 20 children cants play for 20yrs.so please allow her
ReplyDeletePoster 1 u know u didnt love dis guy u went ahead to marry him dnt think its ur mny dat he came afta.start a life afresh wif him n ask God to show u how to love, God is love .if u r sincere n willing to support u will come here thankg bvs.u dnt av any excuse, I tot u wil complain of inlaws n so u berra go lov dat guy, u r in already at least he is nt abusg nor maltreatg u.poster 2. U knw peharps u av hurt ur friend buh coming to claim here wat r u insinuatg? U knw ur friend beta go n sort things out buh be careful!
ReplyDeleteN1, you said you don't love him and can cheat on him anytime abi? i will suggest you leave the poor guy alone. N2, this your friend has become toxic so it is time to let go of that friendship.
ReplyDeleteAbeg jealousy people dey, her friend has been pretending, shun her abeg u don't need such people around u, make she no poison ur kids.
ReplyDeleteI have same issue but the idiot and n question is unmarried and has been sleeping around with diff men all for marriage sake, na 2day. She has even stooped so low to breaking people's home. Demons in human form.
Poster two, pls stop flauntin ur pregnancy in her face. U are nt God. If u hv neva been in the shoes of sm1 tryin to conceive then pls kip quiet, ttc is damn painful and d fact dt u r "fertile" as u say u shd b sensitiv and show ur frnd sm love. I hv ttc"ed and overcame bt its neva smtin u forgt in a hurry. Its a bitter pill to swalow, d truma is out of ds world. Pls reach out to her, tel her u r sorry. Tell her u love her, if afta evrytin she stil remains adamant then my dear face ur life
ReplyDeletePoster 2, u need 2 show her love big tyme.
ReplyDeletePoster 1:take time out and think about everything before you leap.
ReplyDeletePoster 2:I know what having a frenemy feels like but then again try and show her some love but if she aint forthcoming,well you know the rest...
*Sweetness*
Poster 2 you sound 16 na wet in dey tire me 4 woman matter b this stay on ur own woman una dey do competition? Face ur hubby n family call yr sis if u gat no friends
ReplyDeletePoster 1 Chai wen good men scarce na him baba God bless u wet in u dey find again trust me u may never got sum1 as gud as ur hubby this lyf na real words n oposite
ReplyDelete@poster 1 ....why stick ur head into something that is not profitable and now u are ranting ..when u knew u never felt love for this guy for the whole time u were with him ,u now claim cos he's nice ,loves u crazy and
ReplyDelete@ poster 1....why stick your head into something that isn't profitable ,you shouldn't let people manipulate ur decisions all in the name that he is nice and loves you crazy,the feeling of love is mutual ..maybe u should try having his baby maybe u will in tume love the child hence love him....Good man scarce o,no go suffer in another man hand .people crying on here everyday that they r searching ,u better be thankful u got a man and loves u...just try love him back and its only by Gods grace u can achieve that
ReplyDelete@ poster 2....Cut this friend off with alacrity, she no good..friend comes and goes no matter how long you've known them,u don't need drama in your life ..face your work oooo I.e ur family,and don't indulge anyone coming to tell you what anybody says ..that how drama series starts oooo..
Poster1...Take stella's advice
ReplyDeletePoster2.....I once had a friend like that and trust me they never get tired of trying to bring u down, the moment I left her I felt so free, no need to watch my back anymore pls the fact that u've being friends for 16yrs does not mean anything it's not how far it's how well(friendship is not by force) that friendship is a burden to u the sooner u let go the better
To the first story: sweedy,watch closely that guy is probably out to get smtg from u (monetary wise) or out to hurt u real bad in a way u wouldn't easily recover from,love isn't that silly and humans ain't that nice...just watch closely
ReplyDeleteTo the second story: my dear,just desist from such friends,cos at this rate,nothing u do wld ever make her happy or satisfied, just keep her at arms length
My Dear Poster 2,
ReplyDeleteIf you truly examine yourself and come to the conclusion that you have not done anything to offend your so called best friend or encourage the behaviour you just described, then I strongly suggest that you let the friendship die a natural death.
To begin with, were both of you ever truly friends. Duration of friendship does not necessarily equate quality. I hung to a friendship to the deadliest human being (hindishgt) I have ever come across for several years without realising the pure hatred this person harboured.
It is ofen the case that people show us who they are early in a relationship. We however choose to ignore the signs and forge ahead with such relationships until one becomes a victim.
Based on my own bitter experience, hanging to a death weight would cost you far more than you anticipate in terms of your reputation, wasted time and enrgy .
@Poster 2: ur friend has actually not been a good friend to u but its not the time to "dump" her. She needs love. She probably is doing what most people going thru similar situation do...ie, ask God if she committed the "worst" sin on earth! I think u shd call her up, first clear the air about what u've heard...after dealing with that, ask (and pls, sincerely) what the problem is; she's a doctor so they've probably started the process of finding out what's wrong. Then talk with her about her fears and make sure u tell her u are also praying for her.
ReplyDelete@Poster 1: my dear, even couples who love each other have problems. After I got married I realized that "love" isn't rily the rule! U most be a "forgiver"; u choose to let go of whatever it is that's making u irritated by him. U said he's very loving,bla bla bla, so why can't u work on it? Its easy to look at people and admire their marriage, but u don't know what sacrifice most people make to have a wonderful marriage. Tend ur garden/grass, the garden isn't greener on the other side!!!
Poster 2, u r d bad friend! I fear u die. From your write up, u actually sound like d jealous and bitter one. Which one be "she ddnt even buy diaper"? And u no fit confront am? Na wah o, ur type fit kill person! Discuss your feelings with your friend and stop snitching her. I bet u r secretly excited she has nt conceived, so u can continue to feel like you are better than her. SMH.
ReplyDeleteAunty Stella, i dey hail o!
Poster 1: d man loves you and u don't wanna love d nigga back. It hurts! U gotta pummel urself to love him
ReplyDeleteI don't get some of Stella's advice lately. From asking a guy to run from a girl who was obviously using his picture to pray for marriage to asking a BV to get close to an ENVIOUS friend!!!!!!!! One thing I have been told by my elders and learnt from my personal experience is to run at ANY SIGN of envy! The first murder in the world was committed because Cain envied Abel...envy is DEADLY and these were brothers o.
ReplyDeleteI saw that post late and could not contribute!
DeleteIf that girl wanted to harm the boy..her picture will not be there...I go to church and I see people with rumpled pictures of their sick relatives crying and waving it in the air...you could tell they have been praying with that picture forever..it is our own way of thinking maybe there is power in point of contact!
I analysed the situation and realised that girl reacted the way she did because he left her picture there alone..she is a woman..her whole mind will just tell her that after 3years...the boy is probably not really going to settle with her...if he had removed both pictures..i don't think it would have caused quite a stir..oh well,i hope for the sake of God the dude does not end his relationship because of unfounded allegations!
@poster 1,see,i made dis same mistake 9 years ago & honestly,im regretting it.Let me tell you a bit about it.I was my father's favorite & because i couldn't disobey him,I married his choice for me.I married the guy without loving him @ll.He was an embodiment of good character.Very humble,had a good job,Cool headed& very much in love with me.He does everything 2 satisfy me & everyone around me including my family members always asked if I did anything diabolical to him.@every given opportunity,I tell i don't love him.I even always threaten him that I want 2 leave him.This guy will start pleading on his knees with tears but i wasn't always moved.No xes since he knew me & even in the marriage yet he never changed.One day,i moved out after he went to work.He almost ran mad begging me to return but i refused.A year later,he re-married &now has children while @41,i'm still single.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, i feel your pain. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed and not to be endured. Please if you feel you married him out of pity, please leave him and go your way. At least you have no child for him yet. There is nothing like happiness and rest of mind. Explain to him how you feel about him cos you feel things aren't working well between you two. Marriage is an institution you do not graduate from. Kos only death can separate you two. How long share you continue to endure and hope things turn out for good? Be wise. Marriage no be prison
ReplyDeletePoster 2, since your friend can show you some of her ugly attitude boldly in your presence, how much more will she do, say, or think in your absence? Beware of such wolves in sheep's clothing called friends (Friendly enemies) stay at arm's length with such a friend. Mind what you tell her kos you never can tell what she is plotting against you. Only pray for her daily for her to change. Kos it's so obvious that she is frustrated due to her inability to conceive. Do not laugh at her predicament, rather intercede for her to have her own babies and have a change of heart towards you. God bless you
Stelladoll don do al d yarns..... Numb1: mak sure u kw wat ur doin bfr leavin the 'nice guy'.
ReplyDelete~@iamjbankz SA to President Jonathan 2015~
Poster 2 as Anon, u said She tells ur husband to sleep with her and chats with him constantly and calls him? Cut her off immediately. Delete her from ur husband's bb, tell him to stop taking her calls, don't command him, make him see reason, if he loves u, he would comply. Wow, are u jazzed by her already? U are playing with fire
ReplyDeleteDear poster,I married a man I wasn't crazy about too. We were friends but there were no fire works. I married him because I knew certainly that he was a good man and he loves me. My body use to crawl when making love,I couldn't bear to kiss him.
ReplyDeleteThen life happened and I went through the darkest hours of my life and he was the only one that stood by me.
Fast forward 10years,we are madly in love, I cant get my hands off him n vice versa,we have lovely children. I have never loved anyone ever like I love him now. We are like two silly children inlove.
Pls don't go yet,wait it out a bit. Who knows your story may change too. But at the end of d day,your happiness matters and you have to do what's best for you. I wish you the very best.
Poster1, I think you should introspect thoroughly and be absolutely sure about what you want. You seem really confused and I guess you don't know the definition of love or probably you should do a wide study on love first.
ReplyDeleteLove is a decision,you decide to love and not to,when and how. Why don't you start channeling your energy into loving him instead of crushing the marriage.
Attimes we don't know we are holding our happiness till we throw it out. Then,we start to regret. I am confident that you can be happy with him. A bird in hand is worth three in the bush,throw it away and see for your self. I rest my case.
CHESSMASTER
Poster1, I think you should introspect thoroughly and be absolutely sure about what you want. You seem really confused and I guess you don't know the definition of love or probably you should do a wide study on love first.
ReplyDeleteLove is a decision,you decide to love and not to,when and how. Why don't you start channeling your energy into loving him instead of crushing the marriage.
Attimes we don't know we are holding our happiness till we throw it out. Then,we start to regret. I am confident that you can be happy with him. A bird in hand is worth three in the bush,throw it away and see for your self. I rest my case.
CHESSMASTER
P1, u have disrespected this man enough by telling him all that just cos u have more money than him. Leave him be n go find another, obviously ur eyes dey outside.
ReplyDeleteP2, that friend is one who feels she's competing with u and is better than u, u dont need such negative energy, pls free her and stop ur hubby frm contacting, vv.
I think it's best if a man loves a woman more.
ReplyDelete'Just love me enough for the two of us''. The reciprocity would come later.
This!!!
DeletePoster 1 do not follow dreams or prophecies. You need to fast and pray spend quiet time with the Lord. I know for a fact that even if you don't love a person and you get married before court or church or elders the Lord honors it. These are all leaders of the land. This is a covenant that's honored.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 I am glad you pointed out your flaws. You are nice person who is equally confident. You have told us your past and also your course. You have forgiven yourself and moved on. The problem with your friend is she has low self esteem. and she she is suffering from the self righteous syndrome. May be she aborted and had repercussions.
During your glory days she proved not be a friend or sister. People warned you. It might be hearsay.
Now you have gone and visited her and all she showed you lack of concern.
My dear she is doing you a favor..
You need to break all soul ties with her IJN. This is called familiarity.
When people show you who they are believe them. Especially when they are going through crisis or under pressure.
You can change no one but yourself.
Pray for her and bless her. She doesn't need to hear your voice to know you are praying for her. In fact delete her number.
I don't want you to cry had I known. Let me tell you this may not make sense. I have been through this journey and even doubted myself. Learn to LOVE yourself and set your principles. I was warned several times and gave excuses like under pressure. By His Grace I am ALIVE...
Aunty SDK thanks for putting this up. This epistle was a reminder to me. SDK you are a very kind person. I tried your advice, divine intervention rescued me. You see discernment has to be applied with every situation. For some1 to be callous not to even send a gift to a baby. Shows you how bitter and envious they are.I intended to send you a mail something similar. We live in a world that is so conscious of the Grace of God. This is because right or wrong has not definition. But those with discernment know that your purpose on earth has to be accomplished. Jealous etc are all weapons and when God says move move.
You know that you are doing your friend a favor poster 2. I know most of them have reached out to God and given their life to Christ. this because they know that that lifestyle or way of thinking doesn't pay.
Poster 2 I have read all your comments. Whoa you are really forgiving person. I use to be the same. But I didn't know the difference between forgiveness and being abused.
ReplyDeleteWhen you forgive some1 doesn't mean you have to be around them or call them to know that. It's all that self righteous religious condemnation crap who want you to go back to your vomit.
If she needs help help her if you can.
DO NOT BE guilty... and let your husband limit his conversations to 5mins and break all soul ties with him and her in Jesus name.
What you don't know is she is creeping to be a controlling manipulating spirit.
I had more than one friend do this to me. Leaving you to be hungry and calling your man.. rubbish.
Please as I have said cut off all soul ties in Jesus Name. Pray for her. When the spirit of envy leaves her I bet you she will be humble and call you.
Poster 2 me again.. kia she insulted your mutual friend.
ReplyDeleteYou see not everybody is very forgiving. May be she stepped on the wrong toe and was cursed.
See even the good and bad have problems. Let her go to church.
If she can be rude to another mutual friend then she's not a nice person. She doesn't even love herself to be nice to other people.
Quit discussing her with any body you have to know that. People can remix what you say. As your story was displayed above others misinterpreted and you had to further explain yourself. Till further notice she is blessed and highly favored.
Break every soul tie from her with your family. And let the Holy Spirit minister to her pray for
Congratulations kisses to the new born.
God bless
Sue thanks for that honesty.. to poster 2. can you imagine that was the same thing I was going through. I still thank SDK for posting this. I thought I was being very analytic but I realized that every time nothing good was materializing in my life and major points she would not want to celebrate with me. Sad enough for me no Pastors warned me. I got burned coz I was still attached to the friendship had no boldness to reason with my worth. Break all soul ties and manipulative gifts..
ReplyDeleteCrocodiles have been revealed recently to me. I couldn't really imagine the recent one. very unbelievable it hurts.
I am so pained because of poster 2. All I see is arrogance, pride and lack of gratitude to God's infinite mercy. That you have a child today before your friend does not mean that your friend will not have her own children. It does not also mean that your children will achieve things faster and better than hers in future. Its Only the Almighty God that knows. Why not see things from her own point of view. How many times have you taken your child to her place to pray for her. How many times have you gone out of your way to show her sincere love, Encourage her that God will do it. Oh my God. Let me tell you, go and read about those women that waited for a while before they had children, the kind of children God gave them. Don't you think its because of your show of supremacy that is making her run away from you?. I have 3 children already so don't think am waiting. I know how I cherish and pray for my friends who are still waiting. Most times while pregnant, I will go to their house, Ask them to lay hands on my tommy, with my little son, we all will pray together, most of them are mothers now while few are still waiting. People should please learn to see everything that has happened to them as an act of God's mercy. She did not buy things for your baby bla bla bla, My sister, acknowledge God in all your ways
ReplyDeleteRead again who Stella gave gratitude on her achievements so far while she received the recent award from Anambra..
@poster one, Good men are hard to find. So many women will pay with their blood to have what you are about to throw away. Open your mind, ask the holy spirit to lead you. You have a good man, treasure him.
Poster 2 please move on fast away from her.everyday is everyday,we meet people everyday.I see no point in trying to be friends with anyone who doesn't want your friendship.
ReplyDelete