Now I am going to raise a storm with this post because of two different calls i got Yesterday from two different blog visitors who might probably be reading this......
What would be so bad that would make you call off an already planned wedding?
Two different people had called and one wedding was being called off because one person cheated and the wedding is just two weeks away whilst the other one is supposed to hold in April and the reason was because they disagreed over the guest list because he put his ex' name on the guest list and she included her ex' name as well and he went ballistic.......
Are these reasons good enough to call off a wedding that is just around the corner? What would be good enough reasons to call off a wedding and what are the consequences?
How does one cope?
Has anyone here ever called off a wedding?
Why?
A very bad thing. I reject it in my life
ReplyDeleteCall it off, if he is abusive...
DeleteI reject it for me n my entire house hold
Delete@Galore
Well I did called mine off cos of the excessive demands my people were putting on him. His told his friends and colleagues and dey started pricing me wt dr looks meanyle I was staying wt him already cos my rent expired after our intro n he felt dr was no need for me to pay since we have already chosen a date for d wedding and TM. My MIL called me n begged a week to it that she has made provision for every, spoken wt my dad n family ( we are family friends dou hubby and I never knew our family lived in d same apartment 30 years back for 4 years and we just met on our own here in lagos). I just made payment for another accommodation dat period oo. That was 4 years ago. We r married wt 2 kids now( a boy and a girl) and all MIL says is that if we had missed that date, we mait both not be married again in life that dr was a reason it was called off. All I know is dat he is the best he can be and he is my world! Twas God
DeleteNever called off a wedding but I wish I did cos I saw the signs
ReplyDeleteMadam What are you Dealing With in Your Marriage and what signs did you see but ignored. Abeg Tell me ooo, I need to look out for those same signs..
DeleteIt is well dear
DeleteCheer up
GOD wil visit your home
@Galore
Sorry puppy
DeleteIt is well... e-hugs
DeleteAwww darling....... hugs
DeleteU bring ur ex..I bring my ex so incase u want to gbensh with ur ex on my wedding day as a way of goodbye, I will do same!
DeleteAunty stella, what is 'running hand in hand with gossip'? Hahahahahahahahahaa chai, u won't kill me for this blog
Awwwwww dear, feel like giving u tons of hugs!
DeleteHang in der it gets better(minus violence plz). BTW reason one enough to, haba cheats few weeks before wedding but D second one lol they ain't ready yet.
It is well, u don't enter already. Uhmnnnnnnn!
DeleteThanks guys, I'm out of it though. Thank God
DeleteMtchewwww! They r jokers
ReplyDeleteIt's not easy.
ReplyDeleteEmotional trauma is one thing anyone can't recover from easily.
Why wd exes names be on d wedding list???? Dats totally wrong.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't they be on the list? Both parties have trust issues jor!
DeleteMy dear nothing likee trust it's like u dnt kw what is betrayal.. I have trusted 100% and I have seen the result. if u like trust if someone wants to miss bhv he or she will
DeleteIf it's meant to be, nothing can stop it. A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage. If you can't stand the heat, leave the kitchen.
ReplyDeleteI hope the April own is not who I'm thinking
Let me goan drink something, I dey come
I want whatever you are drinking sweetie...
DeleteKikikikKikikik... It's not what you're thinking, in Jesus name, Amen!
Deleteno comment
ReplyDeleteBut you did
DeleteHahahaha @Hush Puppy, good one!
Deletethe main reason to call of a wedding is when one of the them cheat sha but I don't think it is advisable to call of a wedding that is around the corner
ReplyDelete#GODWIN
Really???
Delete*dumbfounded*
Right, wait until ur bride to be sucks another D....and ur wedding is around the corner.
Damn!!
So in your mind you stay and marry even though you shouldn't? Nawa for some of you
DeleteDesperation will kill us in this niger. If ur mind says no pls call it off. Easier to get over than a broken marriage
DeleteWell,I can call off a wedding if my husband to be lied about his financial status...
ReplyDeleteI can equally call off the wedding if I caught him cheating...
I can swallow anything but cheating is a no no for me and my man knows that...am sure he is playing his cards very well cos he knows he is gone any day I smell cheating from him...
Stella,abeg leave them ohh,a cancelled wedding is better than divorce....
Like u nor dey fuck another man.
DeleteLike u nor dey fuck another man.
DeleteAlso I can cancel a wedding when I found out the Man's Prick is Small oo because I love my Man with 13"
DeleteLinda d serial cheat cant stand a cheating man......oriegwu!!!!!
DeleteYou hate cheating? And you are a core Lesbian..... I wonder why people always hate people doing to them what they do to others....hmmm you go fear fear....Oriegwu oooo
DeleteU guys take blogs and comments way too seriously.
DeleteI beg leave linda joo. U guys dont know when she pulling ur legs. So u really believe everything she says??? Mufus. Linda no mind them. Aro patitents
DeleteI wonder, dey take comments very serz indeed
DeleteI wonder, dey take comments very serz indeed
Deleteoriegwu
ReplyDeletelike i care.
ReplyDeleteIf the reason for the calling off is as we read, NEXT post mbok!
ReplyDeleteStella they have called off the first SDK wedding chia deris God. Ada Agulu said so
ReplyDeleteLol.. mine was called off
ReplyDeleteit was a sad experience i don't wanna talk about it....
Just be strong and love yourself you will get over it
You will need to talk about it to get over it darling.
DeleteSoo sorry Mz Bombshell.
DeleteIt's well boo.
My dear Mz Bombshell, its well... Is better now than sending chronicle to SDK. The right person will come, okay?
DeleteHian! God punish devil ooo.
DeleteThat's why couples must be very prayerful against any spiritual arrow which could come in any form.
I really don't know what to advise. So sad.
Manna Bee abeg rest everything is not the devils work. God probably saved her from evil.
DeleteSweet gist..
ReplyDeleteLemme sit and await comments *watching scandal 4*
Hahaha sorry I had to laugh at the part where he put his ex name n she put her ex name. Lol! What a lame excuse, they re not ready to get married. The cheating own is understandable not the other reason. No one wants to live wit a cheat.
DeleteMen and their silly ego
ReplyDeleteWell, I will call off a wedding for the following reasons:
If we are both AS
If he's a chronic cheat/womanizer
If his family has generational curse (lol)
If he has HIV
If he once dated my relative, and they had sex
If he's got a tiny dick.
If he lied about his education/ source of income, and not as rich as he claimed etc, like that chronicle of narrative, abi hope.
If he's got baby mama baggages
If he has body odour, mouth odour, infact,general bad hygiene as I cannot stand dirt.
If he's broke.
If he's a woman beater.
It goes on & on & on & on..........
Mumu , that's y u are unmarried . U urself, are u perfect . Look at her mouth like on and on and on . Better go for prayers , them don do u from village
DeleteI'm super curious to see what you look like or know what you are bringing to the table with your long ass list like anambra people engagement list.. Folks like you ain't got jack to offer but want all! Ashinara! Lol
DeleteWait on the lord then..
DeleteCos you're looking for an angel not a human being lolzz
On point
Delete1000 likes for your comment.
DeleteLike u don't ave all dis in ur own baggage as well.
DeleteAnd you dated him..oooooo until the wedding was fixed? Hian.
DeleteYou don already catch Hiv
The generational curse don already dey follow you
You may have gotten body or mouth odour as u have been kissing n xesing him
He would have beaten you proper before una fix wedding so you hav collected some.
You go don fall sick plenty times cos of his personal hygiene.
What's the point of callin off the wedding you already gbenshed the same dick ur relative gbenshed.
You have been gbenshing the tiny dick and suddenly you realise after the wedding has been fixed.
You be winch.
Time is now..lunch!
It's baggage, it's already in the plural form. No need adding "s".
DeleteErrrmmm... I think these are reasons u won't date a person... wat would make u stay wif this person if he has such xteristics and even think of planning a wedding... just my thot tho...
DeleteKeep playing hard to get till ur parents put ur name and face on olx.com for sale...! Mcheww
DeletePeople call of weddings because they found someone better to marry. I know of some cases.
DeleteQuik dont mind the comments, all these low self esteem girls will come and,be talking. Know your worth dear
DeleteChoi, Chizoba Okafor.....u don craze finish. Put her name and face on olx.com for sale??? LMAO.
DeleteQuicksilver i like joo.
DeleteWhy are people insulting quicksilver? She made a whole lot of sense. For those saying she's playing hard-to-get, You don't want to play her kind of hard-to-get and then come back with chronicles in a few years, right? I mean, if you're both AS, he's a chronic womanizer, has HIV, has dated your relative and slept with her in the past, has baby mama, lied about his finances/education, he's a woman beater, has bad hygiene etc. why would you marry such a man? Are you waiting for a soothsayer to tell you what lies ahead? Would a man marry a woman who did or qualifies for any of those? And for the per who said how did it get to that stage without her knowing; you need to know how skilled some oeeps are at hiding things about themselves until the very last minute. About the HIV comment, not every engaged couple have had sex......... Just Me
DeleteChildish
ReplyDeleteWell Stella I wanna believe this goes way beyond both parties inviting their Ex's, I wanna believe its more of both parties still having feelings for their Ex's. If they claim they don't, Why can't they Agree to disagree or better still get those names OFF the Wedding I.V.. If they cannot deal with this this early, Am sorry they may not survive 3 months into there Marriage.. #My2Kobo
ReplyDelete.
.
.
.NOTE: Raise Your Words, Not Your Voice. It Is Rain That Grows Flowers, Not Thunder..
waiting to read comments.
ReplyDeleteNot cool reasons....
ReplyDeletethe consequences are many e.g you will be the topic of that season;the groom to be can get rid of it easily but the bride to be will not she will be embarrassed and due to Nigeria setup when you are ageing as woman and no man by you side it is hell for you
ReplyDelete#GODWIN
LIES DO NOT LISTEN TO THIS PERSON. It is your tyoe that encourage these gullible girls into a life of doome
DeleteWhat sorta lame excuse is dis? All in d bid to b tagged a married woman... Hissssssss
DeleteWhat sorta lame excuse is dis? All in d bid to b tagged a married woman... Hissssssss
DeleteSerious. But putting yr ex's name on a list to me isn't bad. It depends. Na dem sabi may be God is trying to tell one party that they're not compatible. move on.
ReplyDeleteabout the couples that called off because of exes...they arent meant to be together...and as for the cheating--if irs the lady that cheated.beta call off
ReplyDeleteReally?"if its d lady dat cheated"?how bout if its d guy?anuofia.
DeleteSo, what if it's the man that cheat???
DeleteUnu bu umu nwoke ehn, odikwa egwu!
Bloody sexist!
Deletewhat if its the man that cheated???
DeleteAnd if it's the guy that cheated nko? Clicks tongue
DeleteIf its the guy don't be...onye ara
DeleteCalling off a wedding because of guest list is not serious you bring your ex i bring my ex case settled. As for the cheating it is enough reason to call off the wedding oh sorry to say!
ReplyDeleteI think its better to call off a wedding than live a life of doom! The second category shows how selfish and manipulative the man is and he would have gotten worse. Anything worth doing is worth doing well. If I had called mine off, it would've been better cos I had a dream three consecutive days and I had the first discovery when hubby and his brother had already printed IV against my wish and circulated it to their family members. If only I had defied all odds.
DeleteToday na Todayyyyyyyyyy,,see sweet gisttttttt
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, well Stellz a broken relationship they say is better than a broken marriage...but come to think of it what if your next partner cheats or includes his/her ex on the wedding invite list? Will it result in wedding being cancelled once again?
ReplyDeleteWhat if you eventually get married and your spouse cheats,will u also dissolve the marriage? #Food4thought# We are only humans, God help us...
Hmmmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteNo tangible reason
They should take heart and move on jare
If is the guy dat cheated, he would want the lady 2 forgive and accept him back but if na woman, then devil must be high 4 d guy 2 forgive.
Am not supporting anyone 2 cheat tho
Yes o both reasons are good enough to call off a wedding
ReplyDeleteIt's better to shamefully call off a wedding if ur would be spouse starts showing traits weeks/days b4 d wedding,traits that u know would spell impending doom in d future rather than live with regrets for the rest of your live
Most people end up married but are not happily married
Cheating on ones partner is a perfect reason for calling off a wedding.Cheating is totally unacceptable.One can cope by laying everything at the feet Jesus the Christ.
ReplyDeleteDon't call off your wedding because he cheated, he will do if even after wedding, talk to him and also pray for him, go ahead with your wedding coz you aren't guaranteed of a better man who wouldn't cheat. 2ND caller that wants to call it off coz of guest list should do it already, you and your Bobo no serious, dat one na excuse? Msheew, lack of trust and communication, we don't want chronicle after wedding oh
ReplyDeletePray for men
DeletePray for men
Who then prays for the woman going. Through so much?
Jesus has done all d prayers o!
Pray for yourself!
Any man that wanna self destruct is highly welcome.
Fuck off with this prayer shit. You Nigerians can pray a lot yet no Change in attitude. A man cheats, it's forgiveness but a woman cheats its divorce. Fuck off again
DeleteAnon dont mind them. They will not serve God, they will marry and turn prayer warrior until he leaves them
DeleteIf Nigerian women spent the time they spend praying for husband to change, in praying for Gods kingdom or for the country...we would be in a better place. The priests of the home are not praying as much as the help meet...it says you married wrong
DeleteAdetutu, the advice you gave is not good. God reveals to redeem. Cheating is not a behavior to take lightly and it can lead to worse problems. The cheat needs to work on his or her way of thinking/attitude before going into a lifetime relationship.
DeleteI wonder o, everytime pray pray! Odiegwu rily
Deleteseriously, its always pray pray...why do we need to always pray for nigerian men...seems the demon for cheating climbed their backs....
DeleteKai..I was so eager to read the stories
ReplyDeleteStella which kain half gist be this?
If my man cheat on me a day b4 our wedding n I caught him, I will call off d wedding Asap. I can forgive if am already in d marriage fr d sake of our kids but dt will happen once, if I catch him twice, I will divorce him. As for a guests list, for d guy to put his ex name means he is still chopping d gal. D wife probably put his ex name too just to make d man remove his, bc it's not proper. So why will d guy gets angry wen he himself is guilty of d offence, he should just remove d ex name period. N d gal will do d same. I don't no y men feels dt de can do tins n dia wife can't, dts slavery not marriage. If u no dt if u catch ur wife doing same tin u wouldn't like dt hell will loose, so y do same tin.
ReplyDeleteWhat about if u were caught a nite b4 ur wedding shagging,wat will happen?
DeleteWhat about if u were caught a nite b4 ur wedding shagging,wat will happen?
DeleteI love you for this comment. You understood the plight of the second couple. Why include your ex in the IV and not allow your wife to be include hers? The man is not crazy. That is a sign that her input will not be regarded in the marriage. Onye ara!
DeleteHehehehehehe, you called of your wedding over guest list. I don't think that is enough o. Both of you should remove your ex name from the list, simple!!
ReplyDeleteAs for the cheat, I think that one is good enough.
It is not the name that is the issue, there are deeper things involved
DeleteTrauma of the highest pedigree. Both parties should be careful with their decisions
ReplyDeleteThey should try and resolve their differences biko. Marriage is a school and dialogue and tolerance remain paramount But it is always better to call off now than later.
ReplyDeleteThe person that called off cos of cheating I believe will be a guy and the geh cheated believe me if it was visa versa the geh will forgive/ over look it and go ahead with the wedding.
ReplyDeleteAs for the guys dat called off cos of their guest list believe me they aren't serious to wed.
Thats why half the marriages are rubbish because women don't look before they leap
Delete• vice versa
DeleteIf d ex was so perfect,y didn't he or she marry them?
ReplyDeleteY wud u invite someone who both of u parted on "bad" terms to ur wedding?
Confused lot.
If he/she cheated,
N u can't bear it,
Call it off or
Do what gives u peace of mind..
*wicked smile*
A cheater deserves to be cheated.
Not all relationships end in bad terms... I've seen a couple who shared their success story... The husband said he went to look for a job in a company n got the job just cos his wife's ex was the interviewer! The only reason why anyone should get mad cos an ex is on the guest list, is insecurity!!! Anyways, if they don't part now, they'll part eventually.... Jealousy is such a deal breaker! Dang!!!!
DeleteThey are not ready to settle down,how can they call off wedding because of this reasons.....
ReplyDeleteSo...in fact why waste time responding
Deletebeing caught cheating is enough to call off a wedding.the cheating partner cannot be trusted .
ReplyDeleteI'll read comments on this one....
ReplyDeleteThis will be interesting..*wide grin*
Disagreed over the guest list...lmao..
ReplyDeleteThank God u guys called off the wedding cos from that little issue... I have seen that you both can't agree
Cheating... yea but for a guest list???? seriously its a no no... but I wish them the best and I pray they get over this phase in joy and live happily ever after
ReplyDeleteApparently people's tolerance levels differ.
ReplyDelete#BoycottDSTVNG.......join the movement. Say no to #extortion
Kolonuts, what does your ex got to do with your wedding
ReplyDeleteI can call off a wedding if you put ur ex on the list and tell me not to put mine. That is how you know a selfish and troublesome man. He will take that selfishness and partiality into the home and it will reflect in more ways than one - family, friends, money, cars, house, advice.... I would advice the woman to put her foot down. Either both exes come, or they dont. Period.
ReplyDeleteIts during a wedding you see things about ur spouse that u never knew existed.
You have spoken well
DeleteExactly. How selfish can some men be!
DeleteVery very well. They are enough reasons to call off a wedding. Somebody is already cheating in a marriage dat is yet to be contracted! What do u then expect from d person after wedding? D other one included his ex in d guest list but couldn't stand d woman's ex inclusion! Egwu dikwa oo! Dat one is pure Cheating Alert!! Both of them are still emotionally attached to their exes! They should better cancel or postpone d wedding till further notice!
ReplyDeleteCommunicate, people communicate. Very early in the relationship it is good to lay the ground rules. Tell each other what you can't tolerate in the relationship. Why did it have to be after the wedding has been planned that you noticed all these. I am engaged and currently planning my wedding but very early on, immediately I said yes to his proposal, we made a promise to each other to always remember that we first loved before we started planning a wedding, therefore at any time during the course of planning our wedding, of course we'll disagree at some point over some issues, but we promised not to lose sight of the fact that we love each other and really want to be together. If we can't agree on an issue (which has never happened) we'd have to let it go completely. Plan and prepare for your marriage and not your wedding. I'm even thinking of scraping the reception. Once we say I do, that's all the ceremony I need. There's nothing we don't tell each other, and we very much know that the only people we need to make it work is us two, not who attends our wedding or not. So people, try to always communicate, it is very key to a happy life together as a couple.
Delete*abi it is when planning a wedding you see things in your spouse that u never knew existed.
ReplyDeleteThey never wanted to get married to each other
ReplyDeleteNone of them is mature enough to get married yet. They should go back and educate themselves on what marriage entails. Then they can try again. No wonder the divorce rate is soaring. If you want a succesful marriage, you cannot be cheating your partner a few days to your so-called wedding and you cannot be including the name of any nonsense "ex" on your guest list without your partner's orior approval.
ReplyDeleteCalling off a wedding cause of cheating....hmm!
ReplyDeleteThank you for saving yourself a whole lot of stress and heartache and hbp.
God will definitely give u a man who will worship the ground u walk on, who will have the fear of God in him, and make u happy, till the end of time.
Calling off a wedding cause of a man's ego??
Yeah, that man will use his ego to build a mansion ontop ur head.
One of my besties usually say that whatever is good for the goose should also be good for the gander.
He invited his ex, and got mad when u invited ur ex too?
Did he seek ur consent before doing so?
No?
He's a brat!
Ladies, if u accept to be a doormat for ur man before walking down the aisle, he will wipe his feet, his galfriends, and mistresses feet all over u, and leave u soiled and feeling worthless and hopeless.
May God bless you both.
First, I have to say that marriage was never meant to be. Secondly I like their courage to call of the wedding, because is better to call off a wedding than going for divorce. I have witnessed two weddings that were called off on the wedding day. I think both of them are still in love with their exes. This kind of things also happen when women thinks they are equal with men.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the meaning of when women think they are equal to men choose your words very carefully
DeleteAren't they? Bloody sexist!
DeleteThat is why ur girlfriend left u. Anuofia!
DeleteYou take this one serious. Please go to your village and marry the women that think like you. Women and men are EQUAL. Get that in your head
DeleteWhat makes u feel men are almighty. The way men talk shaa most of them dnt kw anytin.
DeleteWho is this goat?
Deletethere is nothing bad about it because it better to call it off than face pains and truma in the marriage. i wish i did
ReplyDeleteMscheeeeeeew..... Na them sabi! Since they can't settle their issues amicably as grown adults, lovers for that matter. *That's if they love themselves o. Call off na, what's my own?
ReplyDeleteThese are really deep....
ReplyDeleteThe cheating issue is something that shouldn't be treated likely cos it may continue after getting married which is likely to crash the marriage in the long run but then, one might say what makes you think the next partner will be better as the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. Hnmmm
The second one is just being self centred. Why invite his ex and she can't invite hers? Well I feel they can still make the wedding hold by having a compromise. Neither of them should invite their ex. That shouldn't be difficult to settle but the man's ego though.
It seems both of them ve not gotten over their ex, 2 weeks to wedding and one was caught cheating, OK naw, but the excuses are just not enough.
ReplyDeleteEx(s) on the guest list can be discussed or resolved over a postponement or on-hold to reach a conclusion but as for a cheater is a CANCEL oh! Well lots of things can cause a cancel which is way better than a DIVORCE after just few months.
ReplyDeleteCheating may be a good reason but I still don't get it, then the second people they are not serious why would such cause problem for them. If they can have such silly disagreement then they are not ready to get married, its something they can sit and discuss very well then make their decision. I only know if God truly is with you and your spouse after getting the confirmation you need on marriage nothing will ever stop it from happening. All the same if they feel it should be called off fine. But to me they should take it all to God and let him decide on their behalf.
ReplyDeleteThese pips aint ready abeg.
ReplyDeleteWat is gud for d jews is good for d gentiles
ReplyDelete1-1
Issorai!
DeletePride! Better a broken wedding than marriage. Gbam
ReplyDeleteI think the 1st case is justifiable. In d 2nd case, dnt they have matured ones in thr families who could come in and settle things?
ReplyDeleteThey were never ready abeg
ReplyDeleteDont give what you can't take. why put your ex name on a list when you know you can bear to see her ex name
ReplyDeleteAs for the cheating.... the cheater has to chose btw his fiancee or the different okpekes he seems to enjoy sampling
Well, the guy is lucky she told him about the ex, someone like me would tell u about the ex you would never see or know. But some exs turn out to be good friends, thee guy would never know we ever shagged. Call me secretive yes, but the more we know, the more hurt we get so, as long as you don't go back to your ex(s) or cheat after we are married. Talking of ex, some babes introduce their sugar daddy's as family friends, and cos some of the sugar daddies are wealthy, they make them chairman of the occasion. Pls those 2 couples that want to cancel their weddings are just childish. This is the reason why some people like me don't discuss about our ex(s). Hiss. No be if I tell u u go know say na my ex? Odiegwu.
ReplyDeleteWedding called off on the ground of cheating is betterbthan stories that touch after taking the wedding vows.
ReplyDeleteThe duo that called off their wedding on the ground of guest lists aint serious at all. They are both still attached to their ex.If not, what does it matter if your ex is present at your wedding or not.He/she is an ex and should remain that way. Period! All this "my ex and I are still friends" bullshit talk mehn, cant deal!
I am experiencing that at the moment because I realized I love someone else more than I love my fiance.whn we fight the first thing I do is call the other guy crying
ReplyDeleteHmm your case get as e be. Get over your ex before getting into another rltnship
DeletePld dear don't marry dat ur fiance cos u don't love him... I married my hubby cos he is a nice person, I was in love with him b4 my ex came into d picture and I realised I still love my ex but went ahead and married my hubby, now I miss my ex like mad and I still love him but we dnt communicate anymore but he is stuck in my heart, and 2 think dat my hubby is God sent, God pls forgive me, I need to love dat man
DeleteI
ReplyDeleteNot reason enough In my own opinion...
ReplyDeleteEgo-filled ish going on with them.
TGW, your marriage is great because you married a good man. These reasons are symptoms of a lot more to come.
Deleteif they called off their wedding because of ex's names inclusion in the i.v then its better it happened because they are not yet matured for marriage
ReplyDeleteCheating is a reason to call off a wedding buuuuuh Exes on guest list, no way. If the couple to be can't come to a compromise over who would and wouldn't be on the guest list, then marriage can't work. Like they say a broken relationship/engagement is over and over better than a broken marriage.
ReplyDeletesometimes wonder if i should have stuck to m gun and called off the wedding, found out my boyfriend was cheating funny thing is i was minding my own business when the girls boyfy sent me messages and evidence of the cheating,i was in a trance it felt like i was going to die. this was about 3 months to the initial date set for the wedding. i couldn't believe it despite seeing evidence o mehn craziness. i told my parents we couldn't go ahead with the wedding but could not tell them why, he reported himself to my eldest brother who is like a father to me (18 years age diff),and my brother begged for him. Told his parents though, his dad called me several times and the old man even travelled all the way to see me. Hmm after much back and forth you should have seen how much weight i lost, we came back together got married 10 months after the initial set date,i had a low-key wedding and its always like at the back of my mind i keep thinking Plan B. i went from wanting 3 children to being satisfied with only my daughter as i keep thinking what if it happens again,i know i can't stay if he cheats so i am preparing back up. no one should have to live like this but i just need that my back up security so i won't be holding on for financial security for my child if he messes up. i don't think he would again but once bitten twice shy. he spoils i and our angel silly,responsible etc never given me cause to doubt him but...... i still wonder if going ahead with the wedding was settling or selling myself short
ReplyDeletesorry long rant just that i wonder if leaving would have been better
For me dear, I should have left...I did not and I suffered for it. I knew better but everyone begged. Now I know that he was only begging because he did not want the shame of being dumped. Stay strong I don't know what to tell you. Cause just like you I had decisions to make. I pray you dont end up like me
DeletePoster 1: its enough reason to call off a wedding. If you can't handle a cheating spouse, believe me walk away. Don't start or rather don't sign up for wat u don't intend to finish. A man who cheats on his bride-to-be, means he doesn't love you, and definitely marrying u for d wrong reason. Marriage is meant to be enjoyed
ReplyDeletePoster 2: its obvious u too aren't in love, trivial matters dis shouldn't even been a reason to call off a marriage. How did u guys get to this stage if u are calling off a wedding bcos of ex wahala. I am sure u want to marry a man who adores you not one who picks up a fight with you over trivial matters
Some women fuck wella days b4 their ,wedding so don't come here to form saints. Guys own normal B eve nah fucking nite haba. Daniel says so
ReplyDeleteHmmmn......Different strokes for different folks
ReplyDeleteMum told me this story bout a girl and a guy engaged to be married in the UK, but bae was a virgin and was abstaining till marriage the guy was gbenshing the fiancee's gf steady then the worse happened, the girl got pregnant thinking she could hook the dude up with the baby.......story
The other girl forgave her guy and even that didn't ruin the wedding plans.
Today they are happily married.
LOVE CONQUERS ALL Y'ALL
The two who cancelled because of their exes.
ReplyDeleteYou have done well to cancel. Both of you have shown that you are neither emotionally or intellectually mature enough to handle an institution such as marriage.
Oriegwu.
ReplyDeleteWhy are they doing exes on their guest list??
Two jokers.
Both are enough reasons to call off a wedding. I can't stand a cheat and I can't stand a selfish man. Mbanu I always have a say in my relationships, where I don't have, I have a clean break. Rubbish!
ReplyDeleteU go tey for house
DeleteSo u can marry a selfish man and a cheat? The way some girls reason ehn!!! And u call urself janded girl? Smh...
DeleteStella you didn't post my comment now. Is it because i'm not a regular commenter.
ReplyDeleteUzy
Guest list? Seriously If a couple can't deal with a minor issue like guest list,i wonder how they will cope with a more challanging issue.
ReplyDeleteA few seconds to wedding postponement is FAR better than to endure a lifetime of regrets in a loveless,hate filled,non trusting,violet loaded and most of all Godless and elaborate weddings!My own take.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you
DeleteBetter to call than to regret and as for the poster calling off due to exs being on the list, y should the guy be upset??? Do me, I do u ne now. Am sure something is fishy somewhere.
ReplyDeleteBetter to call than to regret and as for the poster calling off due to exs being on the list, y should the guy be upset??? Do me, I do u ne now. Am sure something is fishy somewhere.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm...odiegwu
ReplyDeleteNIGERIAN WOMEN NIGERIAN WOMEN, you ladies do not know who you are that is why your men do not respect you or carry you to the level of your worth. Your marriages are usually poop, your homes are hanging by a thread because you have to carry it alone and you wonder why. YOU ALWAYS PICK WRONG. You listen to the woman with the chronic cheat of a husband telling you all men cheat but you mock the women who tell you their husbands are faithful. Marriage involves two imperfect partners but most of you select rubbish and say "no one is perfect". You dont even pick the bare minimum, you select men that still need to grow up so you can tie gele and,call yourself Mrs while your man has other Ms' who enjoy his fruits more than you. Yes there are reasons to call off a wedding even an hour before. My good female friend should have called off her wedding, she thought we were all against her but now she is divorced(happily too but she had to go through so much). Even till the night of her traditional she said she wanted out but said all men are like hers and her girlfriends are overhyping their husbands. She is a BV and knows I am,sharing her story. She has two amazing children who she loves and she takes care of, the man has gone on to be his useless self on marriage num 3. She is thriving now but if she listened and called off the wedding, she could have given her children a better father. He suitors are lining up around the block but she is scared to choose again. Ladies, if the man is a cheat, if you suspect he has not dealt with anger issues, if his parents want to, run your lives, if he is controlling, if he hits you, if he hits you even once, if he is verbally abusive, he needs to either get help while you postpone the marriage or walk away. He might not be your man, he might not be ready for marriage. Many men propose but they are not ready, they marry with the mind that YOU will sustain the marriage. That is the number reason why marriages in Nigeria are pure dung. The man are not part of it but only by name. Wise up and pick better. Highest you call off the wedding, people talk for 2 months and move on to the next topic. That is life .
ReplyDeleteYou are too wise jare! What you just described is the bedrock of all the chronicles we have read here.
DeleteThank you For this piece.
DeleteLadies do you know not every proposal is God ordained, I know we dont all believe in God. But some are not, please if you do not feel at peace, it is not nerves...it is God saying hold on dear child. If your mind is always restless, that marriage is not yours. Any woman that has regretred her marriage will truthfully tell you she knew she should have stopped it even down to the day. It is better to be single in your 30s than unhappily married in your 20s or divorced before your mates marry. Forget societal pressure and pick well. Marriage is hard even with a good man let alone a horrible man
ReplyDeletecalling off a wedding on grounds of irreconcilable differences is so so right. when I was dating my boyfriend( now husband) he never stop talking about his ex, he was so emotionally attached to her( I don't know if na jazz things),infact the main reason of their break up was of religion differences,and of course in d end she left him for another man when she could not stay converted. what am getting at is, if I have my way, will I could have let him go tey tey, then me too was suffering on my own way(emotional,physical,verbal abuse from my mother) all that could get me out of that was marriage I thought)
ReplyDeleteMy friend's friend once called off her wedding cos she claimed her supposed hubby's John Thomas was nothing to write home about!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteCalling off a wedding because of guest list? Mba, can't do it.
ReplyDeleteThere's something called compromise in marriage.
Very very important. They need to learn to compromise.
Why would even one of them put an ex name on the guest list. If the ex was so important, then marry him/her. You guys are simply not serious.
As for the cheating couple, I don't have any comment.
My friend's friend once called off her wedding cos she claimed her supposed hubby's John Thomas was nothing to write home about!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleted names on wedding list though, must d names appear on d list? use mouth tell dem if u must invite and it depends on d manner u nd ur ex parted. as for cheating, tnk God it was b4 d wedding mayb dem wan chop clean mouth b4 wedding day. It all depends on the couple to b nd d way ppl view things , both reasons cn b trashed out though
ReplyDeletecontinue: even as our wedding was fixed he keeps her updated on every movement ( I be team snoop4life) I felt so bad so worthless, whatever happens I know I was ready 4all kinda shit from this ex things,. and I believe the only reason they are not chopping each other was because of distance problem. Zaria and Lagos. I in turn I love this man cos he was my first and last boyfriend. so this communication continue with them until they lose contact( happy me), all in all share she was not included in guest list, I would have objected that is not a good sign at all. even a day to our wedding I had a heart to heart talk with him over this girl and he promised to stop communicating afterwards( he never stops or maybe circumstance made him)
ReplyDeleteYea called off my wedding 2 months to d wedding, omo it was crazy, but it ended in praise. We re happily married now.
ReplyDeletecontinue: at the poster that called off wedding in the ex's things I wiul have done the same if I had any emotional support from anyone esp my mother, imagine no work, no money, no friends, physical abuse on my mother's side, my husband ( then boyfriend) is the only thing that keep me sane, so letting him go cos of His ex was like what!!!! stand your ground pls is either he let go of his ex and have a peaceful wedding or no wedding at all. cos her memories wiil hunt your marriage am talking from experience.
ReplyDeleteThe second couple calling off the wedding because of guest list are not compatible. They should put the wedding on hold and date further, I think the guy is a chauvinistic prick for inviting his ex. The girl did the right thing to also invite her ex. What's good for the geese should also be good for the gander.
ReplyDeleteThe first couple's reason is valid but not sufficient enough, again the decision to forgive is personal.
Both couple ain't ready for marriage. They were mainly looking forward to the wedding day.
There is so much more to marriage than a lot of young people think. , I suggest a lot of would be couple should go back home and seek elderly advice before venturing into the institution called marriage.
All ye bitter peeps on this blog, esp those trolling under my previous comment to spew trash, well, I'm not the "causer" of your frustration/esteem issues.....you hear?
ReplyDeleteI'm just here to have fun, and let off steam, as usual.
If it angers you guys so much, choke on my sexy middle finger.
It's not my fault some of you couldn't call off your wedding when una been use belle trap pesin pikin..lol
Like I said, I'm just here to have fun. Take my comments to heart if you wish, and have a heart attack...lol
The 2nd couple is not ready for marriage. Better they go back to their exes. People being stupid since 1900's.
ReplyDeleteThanks General nwanyi
ReplyDeleteThanks Sdk firstson...
The earlier people start cancelling weddings d better 4 our society.. If u notice any irresponsibility in a man pls don't marry him, so many women are in a sham of a marriage. I know of a lady dat d hubby normally sends out 2 go and sleep with men and bring money home while he sleeps with an innocent househelp through d anus from morning till evening everyday... will send d story to Stella.. A cousin of mine got married early dis year and d hubby was chasing women and smoking weed up and down, talking to d wife and relations anyhow on his wedding day. I know a lot of homes with irresponsible husbands. . And I wonder how these women cope with such men.. God forbid what women go through in d name of marriage.. D reason why these men are like dis is cos our women are so secretive even at d expense of their health, look 4 someone u trust and tell what u are going through not when u die of hiv or hbd or as a result from hubbies beating your family cant give account of what killed u, stop covering up for these irresponsible men!
ReplyDeleteDont you know for Nigerian women, Mrs is better than even oxygen. Even if the guy is gay atleast people will call you madam. Silly women
Deletethe second person must be a highly selfish person.you put your ex on the list not minding how she will feel; she did the same thing and you go gaga.ogbu mma anaghi ekwe ka mma ga ya na azu
ReplyDeleteStellz I just called off my wedding today. I just can't seem to deal with the feeling I can't be with the love of my life cos we are both AS. We still love each other. Supposed hubby to be is so not like him. Also, I may manage other things but his pride makes me sick. All these guys abroad who feel they r doing nigerian ladies a favour marrying them. Well... I'll just make going 2 church a regular routine to heal.
ReplyDeleteSDK ROCKS!!!
All of u saying the second couple has no reason to call of the marriage, I pity una! Cos you just don't get it. That is a CLEAR CUT SIGN of a selfish man who will give u no room to an opinion. Very soon, it will be 'my mother can come, your mother should stay there' 'my brother can have his fees, your sister should be at home and write jamb next year' 'my car needs to be changed, manage your own' 'I have to build this house here. you can't tell me where the location is' 'why did u forget to call my uncle on his birthday when I called urs? And so what if you were to sick to call'
ReplyDeleteOr am I the only one seeing right? If u are a good man, u will omit exes from the list, let peace reign btwn u and madam. How can a man invite his ex and tell u not to invite urs? My dear, if you don't address this issue, prepare to be doormat. Because that man will frustrate all decisions that he doesn't feel comfy with. He will frustrate u with his decisions whether u like it or not, and ignore your opinions.
If u check closely, he is manipulative and has always had his way telling u what to do... be honest with yourself....
Some things deserve forgiveness. Some things deserve wisdom. Know where to apply which. But if this issue is not resolved, you will cry more often. because he is d man and he takes the major decisions - whether u like it or not.
I was surprised when my ever 'when will u marry' father called me this morning and said 'please, take ur time and marry well. there are too many irresponsible men looking for hard-working women to destroy, today. I don't know what is wrong with this generation'
ReplyDeleteOh! Finally, he gets the memo.
I'm of the view that if these are the reasons given for calling off an already planned wedding, a couple of weeks from today and the other, less than 2 months from today as well, then it's actually a good thing because if both couples can damn the consequences of a called off wedding in spite of the involvement of family members, then the union would have been a train wreck waiting to happen. Doomed from the start. It's not uncommon to have minor disagreements and quarrels during the preparation for the marriage but they are usually resolved before or even on the "D" day.
ReplyDeleteThese may not be cogent reasons for some people but I guess if we look deep into the implications of the actions, the assumed simplicity becomes complexity and reveal a sneak peek into what living together as man and wife will be like.
Considering the misunderstanding of the "ex factor" list. The pertinent concern is, in my opinion, why is the presence of an ex at his wedding that important to the point that he showed no regards for his fiancée's feelings? Why should that even be an issue? Apparently, he has no respect for his fiancée. Haven't we heard of men shunning the entire family and going ahead to marry the woman they love? Didn't king Edward VIII abdicate his throne to marry Mrs Wallis Simpson who was even an American and a divorcee? She was even still married to her 2nd husbands as at when the king fell in love with her. Does it get more extreme than that? So why should removing your ex girlfriend from your wedding guest list be too big a sacrifice? Clearly, you were about to say "I do" to the wrong person.
Whatever his reasons are for wanting his ex on the wedding guest list, are misplaced. I know the lady acted immature by insisting that her ex should also be included in the guest list but that was borne out of revenge, for lack of a better word. The "what's good for the goose" mentality which is totally understandable considering the circumstances. Isn't it curious that he couldn't swallow what he just served his "beloved"? I keep saying, don't marry a man who isn't over the moon to make you his! It rarely ends well.
As embarrassing and heartbreaking as it is to call off an already planned wedding, it's the practical and safer option once a person or both persons realise their union will have irreconcilable issues. That's why there exists a final opportunity to call off the wedding, just before the vows are taken. Sometimes, one has to bite the bullet to prevent future calamity.
Of course they will be happily married...#yimu# if it was the girl who was caught cheating will they not have called of the wedding? Mr xx and tony you are both chauvinistic pigs.....if I find you cheating before the wedding or your ex on my wedding list I can call off the wedding....men expect women to tolerate every shit they dish out but if a woman sins na to call her ashawo...,God made women the head of the home for accountability and orderliness but he did not make women inferior to men and for them to tolerate every shit the man dishes out....
ReplyDelete