NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
TOASTING LESSON 101 NEEDED ASAP
Hi Stella,
I really dont know where to start from but i would just try. Theres a young lady I like,I really wish I could tell her but its so complicated. I know most people would say just tell her but this case is different, she happens to attend my church and we see only on Sundays, i would have just told her,but I am afraid because i am presently one of the youth leaders in my church and I happen to be very popular there.
She is new to the church and i dont want her to think i am one of those guys who uses church as a medium to sleep with numerous girls. I really dont need that for my reputation right now because it would affect my work with the church. I also dont want a case whereby i tell her and she doesnt feel the same way or is in a relationship,then she beginnings to feel uncomfortable in the church or things become awkward between us.
But Stella my inability to tell her is killing me, i spent the whole of last week thinking about her and promised myself i would tell her on Sunday but when i saw her all i could say was happy Sunday and i passed oh.
I am really not happy at this point i just want to give up but i said let me send my story here maybe if you could please post it for me, so i could get advice.And also i think i have started stalking her because i check her facebook everyday to see if she posts the pic of any guy but she is one of those people who doesnt post pictures.
Seriously i dont know whats wrong with me, believe me i am not like this normally, but this case is different. what should i do please?
Thanks in advance.
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO
You dont need to tell her verbally,get her number and add her on whatsapp.become friends first before you start running your mouth that you like her.
Take it easy....I dont think she likes you otherwise she would have made it easy for you,women always know when a man is interested and if they like you back,you will know and take the lead or they do.
However if you insist,start from being friends.
............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
CONFUSED MUM
Hi Stella,
How are you? I am confused and need the opinion of matured minds. I am a single mum and work. the issue is that my job requires i work till very late , sometimes 10pm. its past 10pm now and still in the office. I leave my baby at the daycare and she does not get to see me at all during the week cos she is always asleep when i drop her and pick her.
It breaks my heart but what other choice do i have. she doesnt even know me anymore and prefers the daycare to mummy. what do i do? I get no support from anyone financially and am solely responsible for her upkeep. what do i do?
I dont know how this works,let me read comments from mums who have kids in day care.
I am so sorry darling.
Awwww single mom hugs. Make the most of your weekends
ReplyDeleteP1. Most women don't trust church brothers anymore o. They are bad behind closed doors. P2. You are hustling to make ends meet he'll understand later. It is better than not been able to provide her needs
DeleteNa so poster 1 go dey jonez until we see him serving rice at her wedding in that same church!
DeletePoster2
DeleteI feel for you.
Why don't you try searching for another job that it's timing is 8 to 5 or 9 to 5.
The essence of working is to be able to care for our family, our children!
...but then again they need us, they need our time, care, affection and love.
You maybe getting the money to provide for your child but he/she is lacking parental love and affection.
Pls try to find a way to balance it
Seek for a 9 to 5 job.
It's not easy but with God all things are possible.
Family is all that really matters
Hugs to u poster 2. I Really understand how u feel. I don't know what to say but I've just said a prayer in my heart for u
DeleteLol @ Victor Kwame. Ure wicked oooo
DeletePoster 2: y not register her in a daycare close to ur workplace so dat during ur lunch time, u can breeze in and see her n chat with her. Then during weekends, make it all about her. Make suree u r always with her during weekends even if u r going out. Alternatively, u can get a relative whom u'll be paying to live with u.
DeleteI dey tell u@victor
DeleteLmao! @serving rice!
DeleteLoll!
Buahahahahhahahhhahahaa
DeleteVictor you no well oh!
Buahahhahahhahahahahhahhahahahahahah
Herh Victor lol Asem ooo...U too funny
DeleteNa wah ohhhhhhh
ReplyDelete********LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*********
@poster1 : free the girl until you u chop enough liver.
Delete@poster2 : I feel your pain........
P2. It's well with u. Try seeking for another job dear.
DeleteP1. I agree with stella.
Pamscrib.blogspot.com
Poster 1. Don't tell her.
ReplyDeleteYou won't like the outcome.
Likas.
Poster 2. I feel so sorry for you. But please don't quit that job no matter what. Continue, God will make a way for you and your baby.
P1
ReplyDeleteFly her to ibiza for starters!
She'll warm up!
Lol!
U r a guy n it's ur right to ask n her right to say yes or no....she no go slap u. I try to rememer how I asked all d ladies av ever dated out but realised we just clicked n it happened..toastin no be script,u go wit d flow...all d pick up lines dey taught us in d 90s no work again I for teach u.
DeletePoster 2. Pls use the weekends to bond with ur child. Play with her.get in the mus and sand with her. Become a kid like her when you are playing. When u pick her from the daycare and she wakes up, read to her. Tell her u love her all the time. Say sweet and amazing words with her. She will gradually find a new playmate in you.
DeleteBitchpls, sometimes u are good, sometimes u are bad. This time your comment made me laugh. Thank you.
DeleteTenderheart.
Poster 1 nd 2 u both r OYO! Odi here is deeply in love!!! OMG can love be dis beautiful?? Baby I love you even in d midst of all my craziness, my terrible dirty past,my depression, my dark side!
DeleteTenderheart,ambi ever bad?am a good boy o...Thanx though
DeleteAhaha poster 1, whatever u do, or however way u choose to approach her, please do not mention God in ur line of famzing or toasting her o.
DeleteDon't say because u met in church you'll now start the cliche... "God says you are my wife, God says you are the chosen one...I had a dream " bla bla bla. Please avoid those lines and talk to her like u met at the airport or wherever.. don't form holy holy cos it could be a huge turn off. Na my own be dat
Wait ooo,,, bitchplis,,,, you be boy??? OMFW... make I pass ooo.. hehehe
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteYou sound like a baby...are you a man at all??...
Make friends with her first before telling her your intentions...who knows,she might be feeling the same way about you too...
Poster 2,
There's nothing you can do...am sure you work in a bank...
You are not alone..
But how come she is always sleeping??...
From this write-up I can tell dat poster one is just a cheap smelling dirty guy looking for who gbensh.....oloshi shouting love now, when the babe give in finish Una go hear another story .....
DeleteSmtcheeeeerwwww!!!
At okija wife pls wat is in the narrative that deserves all this insults this is a guy who lives a girl and u just assume he is dirty and smelly pls calm down u don't know him so don't come to such assumption
DeleteOkija please ur display pix is turning me on.
DeleteIs dat someone liking pussy in ur google I'd ?
DeleteHahhaha.....yes oooo@anonymous
DeletePoster1,continue telling her happy Sunday lol,poster2,dnt know what to say since u might not have an opportunity to get another job that is not time consuming cos it's easy to say leave the job when we are not r one taking care of u nd ur baby
ReplyDelete@1, so u want us advice u on how to toast a babe abi, Na woman u find for church abi Na God, I don't blame you at allllll.
ReplyDelete@2,for now there is nothing u can do, just look for another job, though it won't be easy getting one, y don't u get a relation to live u instead of living ur baby till 10pm at d day care.
Write an anonymous love letter,watch her.
ReplyDeleteYou are the youth leader,create a group for newcomers and make her the head. This way,she'll be close to you.
Again,when she falls for you,(hold ur ears let me warn you",DO NOT PUT INTO USE YOUR MASCULINE AND HARDENED PROJECTILE ON HER WOMAN PLACE. PLUGGING IT INTO ANY OF HER ORIFICES IS HIGHLY PROHIBITED TILL AFTER MARRIAGE.
Old school style
DeleteHaha. This blog sha
DeleteLol. As the guy does not want to use his good office to get this babe,he should use the colonial era style i prescribed
DeleteLmfao @Irene... wait oo,, by chance did you attend HRSS? Set of 2004? (Horocco)
DeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteWhere is the father naaaaa?
You no get parents or trusted relatives? Are u an alien?
Na wa... people are in pain sha. Take heart my dear
Poster 1
You dont even know if she will like you. Please be careful oh. Women no get joy when it comes to falling in love for who they are not attracted to. You have to be careful so you wont toast now, then tomorrow you will see her and be dodging.
I always advise people to forget women until they have money and activities around them, in order to prevent stories that touch. The girl you are afraid to talk to now, may be warming people's bed codedly. I have a lot of so called decent sisters like that under my belt.
Forget love for now, make friends and if anyone like's you, they will indicate.
Focus on making money. work hard. have multiple income streams. In that way, you can go for the jugular without remorse. You will be amazed how cheap a lot of girls are.
When you are financially buoyant enough, you can buy different girls gifts, pay for flights and have them around you to see things. Believe me, this christian sister will see Christ in you and will be thinking about marriage.
hehehe.... funny life
U sure have a lot of growing to do son
DeleteYou sure need Jesus
Delete*stellassideye* ...
Delete"Male Version of OKIJA WIFE"
DeleteI think the Blog really need this Version.
Lololololololololol
@money making, I know ur type, u don't have shishi in ur pocket talk less of bank acct, I read ur comments and you make me laff, empty barrel make the loudest sound, may God help you with your hussle.
DeleteHahahahahah! !!!! Did you just say go for the jugular? ??? Some girl must have really hurt you. Well your tactics work on gold diggers not real women. So run along sir!!!!!!
DeleteOmg! Is this actually you??? I mean in the picture
DeleteHehehe. Until I send ur nude pics to Stella before u go understand.
DeleteDon't worry, when u see me, I look very responsible and Christian-like.
But when hand meet u, e go be like film.
Hehehe
Why are y'all giving this fool attention nah, rubbish!!
DeletePoster 1: u r funny! For d fact that u r a leader in ur church doesn't mean u can't talk with her, it all depends on how u go abt it. I remember one bros that came to me all in d name of evangelism, when I told him to open d book of haggai, he turned his bible upside up and down, finally he said "are u sure there is any haggai in d bible? Don't blame d sister if she thinks otherwise. Follow stellas advice.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I dunno what to say.
Narrative 1... looool, calm down bros. Seems you really like her. Next Sunday just have small chit chat and ask for her number. Better man up before someone will get her attention before you.
ReplyDeleteNarrative 2... I think the only thing u can do is to try and close from work early once in a while and dedicate all Weekends to her. You have to work . She's still a baby, she will know you as she grows .sorry dear.
a.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said..
ReplyDelete.
One: forget stella advice bcos if yu follow her own na frnd zone yu wan enter so...
.
.
Two: sorry....
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Lmao
DeleteRoflmao.. u r right jare. Beta go collect no b4 one sharp dude collect am.
DeletePoster2, start looking for another job. Let ur child grow to regularly see ur face. She needs u pls!
THELMA ENEMUWE said...
ReplyDeleteLemme wait for comments to roll in..
*faithful BV enemuwe thelma*
Poster1: start by being friends,ask about her family,frends etc...chat wit her on whtsapp,nd dnt be too nosey else u'll irritate her,and even if u find out she's in a relationship don't giv up,just show concern and care for her,and continue being frends,let her see u as a confidant,a brother,b4 u knw it u'll win her heart.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck
Chairman of Niggas in Friend zone Association.
DeleteY'all listen to him, because started from the friend zone now he's the main nigga... I dey hail you..
Poster 2, sorry hon, I feel the same way everyday when I drop my 2 little babies in day care to go to schl. It's really hard that I feel like the worst mother in the world. Sometimes I cry when they cry till I get to schl. But my own is different cos any lecture after 5pm I don't attend and if d lecturer doesn't get out @ 5pm I walk, i drive as fast as i can to see then, I just think while @ Ur present job, keep looking for a 9 to 5 job. God will provide. The lord is with u and Ur baby
ReplyDeleteAwww Poster 2, so sorry... maybe during the weekends you should make up for the lost time with her, Bond with her, speak to her like sje understands you( you didn't add her age) "mummy loves you". "Mummy is so sorry, she's busy".. stuff like that, just let her know you care.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 trust me you have sense but this love is what is trying to confuse you, I've been there o, I disliked the brother afterwards, and I wasn't interested in anything in church he was heading, maybe because he's a pretender, the things this guy said when he came for "follow up" at my place shocked me,Use Stella's approach, but if you've previously asked any girl out before in that Church, whether she Agreed or not, just forget about this one, a better approach, are you old enough to Court and Marry? If yes, talk to your Pastor about her and let him advise you, he could even help you out. All the Best.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteBro! In church maintain eye contact with her, form as if U r being distracted by her(that's if u not actually being distracted)
DeleteThis will make her know U r already interested in her n she wuda ve a semi-answer in her mind when U eventually spill what U v in mind
When U approach her, don't be too confident. Be like * hi, I'm G... Huhhh huhhh can I've ur number? I'd like to call U sometime... If she gives U, n she's a bit more accommodating, U stand a chance! * firstly be frds with her but not too much so U don't get stuck in d FRIENDZONE.
I hope U'r handsome n tush tho
I bet he isnt.
DeletePls poster 1.you need to work on your confidence first.you dont sound like a guyman at all.
Pls work harder
Poster 1 I think SDK said it all, take it jeje there's no hurry in life plus I don't think you should be overly concerned about her thinking you use church as an excuse to sleep with girls since you don't, except if you've been asking church girls out a lot.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 your story just broke my heart. I really wish I could help but I'm sure one day your baby would grow up to be proud of the sacrifices you made to give her a good life. God in his infinite mercy would make things easier for you$
@ poster 1 I know brothers like you the very ugly ones who wont leave girls in church alone, u try to mke urself popular by smilin with everyone n join every unit so girls notice, but ts quite unfortunate this one doesnt evn notice@ ll n you want to die, better leave her n alone n face ur God@ poster2 I can relate with u my dear, my mum was a banker, we dont see her wen we wake up in d mornin or b4 we sleep @ night, evn with all our complains she was stil glued to her job, until d devil struck, I was kidnapped on my way back frm school one day, but kept me, d nxt day I was found my mum went n dropped her resignation letter, and dat she left the bank opened a frozen food store n is doin well, she built back her relationship with us from d scratch, now my mum is our rock ntin we do she doesnt stand by us, thou we are all grown, :
ReplyDeleteNarr1 lmao u funny sha... Well build a friendship relationship with her, call and always chat up with her for like 2months before u go start d main matter......
ReplyDeleteP1,That you are known worker in the church is even a plus for you. Find her number and start sending prayer messages to her, call and ask her from time to tome if she has read her bible today etc, from there things would add up. P2, may the Lord lead you right. It is well
ReplyDeleteHorrible advice 4 poster 1,pls ignore ds. My mom is currently going through ds and it's annoying. There is this prof in our church dt's got it bad 4 my mum(she's a wIdow) and he won't stop sending 'prayerful and spiritual' texts and initially It was all nice but later it's become annoying and pestering 4 my mum who's even a deaconess and her 50s. Now,I'm gonna tell u to collect her number directly,(don't 'find' her number), then chat her up like twice a week, then invite her out on a date in a nice Restaurant (pls,let her choose,except otherwise), you'll know if there's a chance 4 another date after d 1st date,then subsequently, u'll know her feelings towards u without even askn. Trust me, this was how Beau won my heart,after series of romantic dates (picnics, cocktails, cinema, etc) trust me, na me dey begin pray and hope say make hin ask me out,lool. So, dear Poster, be Friends 1st, then show a not too spiritual side of u by taking her on romantic dates and while u are at that,pls don't talk too much so as not to bore her,yet be a good conversationist cos d process is to get to know her better. Oh I forgot to add, beau used to bring cute little giFts to each date like a box of Chocs, a single rose Flower, bottle oF wine etc but dear,it's not compulsory. Just make sure u are conFident, polite and tush..... All d best!
DeleteSo,what I typed initially vanished anyway,Poster 1 do not listen to ds Miss's advice. If my 50-something mother who is a widow and a deaconess aint falling 4 ds, trust me it won't work cos a prof in my church has been sending 'prayerful' texts to my mother 4 d past 4 months and my mom now sees him as a pest! Anyway, let me give u a tip, Collect her number directly, chat her up twice weekly,complement her looks on sundays and on the 3rd week,invite her on a date,(let her choose d place nd time),it is d way she responds after ds date dt will guarantee Future dates and subsequently,u'll get to know how sHe feels towards u without u even asking. Trust me it works,dt was how beau won my Heart,we went on all sorta romantic dates ( Picnics, cocktails, Cinema etc) and guess what na me begin dey pray nd hope say make hin ask me out cos I don fall already 4 him. Oh,and on each date he would bring cute little gifts like a single rose, box of chocs, bottle oF wine etc but not compulsory. Just make sure u don't talk too much while at it so as not to bore her but yet be a good conversationist so as to get to know Her better. Be confident,polite and tush. P.S don't forget ur money at home. All d best dear.
Deleteam a single mum
ReplyDeletework as an hotel receptionist
1 day on 1 day off
my off days am running errends or busy with my project
d only day off i have i sleep for half the whole day
is terrible i miss my son so badly
there is no assistance we just have to work.
Poster 1, I don't know how 'brother- sister' relationship in church go about. All I can say is talk to your pastor about your feelings for the Sister so he would be in the know of it. Reason being when it works or doesn't work out, your pastor would know about it and not be disappointed in you when toxic gist from frenemies spreads. Being a youth leader, you must be careful as most people see you as a role model. So be one and do the right thing.
ReplyDeleteLol.....if you have a car , just give her a ride after Sunday . Anyways I don't date guys without a car, just saying
ReplyDeleteUr missing out ..some can afford cars but choose not to buy ..maybe not the right time or saving up for better .
DeleteMy boss uses taxis
But guess what ?hes saving up for a brand new Range Rover Evogue(Hows that's spelt ) don't be so quick to judge
Mummy, make the most of ur weekends with ur baby, God will help you!
ReplyDeleteIt's a cold world
Poster 2:i do not pray upon ur baby what happened to me growing up.Darling sad but true that is d reason I n my mum bonded in old age instead of when she was young,your child comes before anything.Even d job I know u might nt b earning 6digits so y stress?
ReplyDeleteLet ur baby have d joy of knowing her mummy,its bad enough there is no daddy,even if u find a job that wud pay u less darling take it.Have ur dota ur peace n happiness.Even mothers who struggle with petty biz to stand their kids on their feet have more joy.May ur baby call u blessed someday.
Poster 1:come naa let me help u chyke her,r u sure dis said chic ain't obviously outta ya league?
This is sooo me wen I was young chai my mum and dad kind of business was somehow, 1month outside and 3 days at home..... but today we grew up to love dem..
ReplyDeleteThoUgh my cousin was always taking good care of me, my mum only breastfeed her last born for just one month. but today I don't think there's someone we can love more than our parents........... Please madam relax ur mind, always pray for ur baby and make sure she's in a safe hand. Man pikin most chop ooo
Poster 1: take style and talk to her. start by saying how is work, how do you do. you are looking good these days, what is the secret. women like men that says nice things to them oo but first make her your friend. start talking small small or you want me to send my brother to her. give me your church address.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: sorry for what you are going through. Do you work on Saturday, In the morning before you take her out, try and make her see your face abi na 5.00 am you dey go work. No let the girl start to cry when she see you. stay till 8.00 a.m make she see your face small everyday. Do the sacrifice for her before OYO turn to your name.
Narrative1
ReplyDeleteSo, you want us to tell you how to toast a woman okwaya? When you wan chop ibongi shebi you go still ask for our help.... Ana emenu
Narrative2
I'll just read comments like Stella
Poster 1 make friends with her first and then gradually make your intentions known. But don't stay in the friend zone for to long or else she will stay calling you brother and you don't want that.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 your story touched me, why don't you go on a holiday with your child if possible, so you can both bond properly or maybe it's time to start looking for a new job maybe a new business even.
Popcorn
ReplyDelete#readingcommentsmodeactivated#
ReplyDeleteP2: I feel your pains cos I've been there. I really dunno what advice to give because you need that job BUT if you can start searching for another job, a job that would allow you spend enough time with your baby. It's disheartening I know so well.
ReplyDeleteBe strong and don't ever see yourself as a bad mum. *kisses*
Poster One.. ask her for her number first, then I will help you tell her that my lil broda likes her.. Will that work?? I Dnt know sha..
ReplyDeletePoster 2.. The Lord is ur strength..Business is not easy I would have you should resign and try setting up your business..
Confused Mom, God is your strength.
ReplyDelete@ Poster 1
ReplyDeleteBros, no worry yourself over how to toast the babe jare. It's so 1759. Just position yourself well, warm your way into her heart and she will be doing the hitting on. From personal experience, toasting no work for me. Tried it in JSS, after I don exhaust my vocabs and idioms, the chick looked at me calmly and said " so u want enjoy me finish, come tell your friends say u dey friend SS1 girl?". My mouth got dried instantly and I apologised to her and claiming that it was a drama script I was rehearsing for my Debating Society . I no spin after that day. I honed my skills.
Until you met Anwuli... Lol
DeleteE don tey when u don de eye babes wen senior you sha.
Lol
DeleteCray man
You for spin on.the next one would have prolly given you a slap or head butt
@ Princess, you still dey remember the Anwuli matter? Lol. No mind me o.
Delete@ Baby, lol. I told myself " ewinor happen again". It didn't not happen again. Nice day.
Hmmmm. I will just read comments
ReplyDeleteHmmmmn @ poster 1 as iiiiin I don't get y u neva clllct her number siiince shoooow??dem de learn how to toast babe agaain????as iiin cllct her joooor den call her every day just to chck up on her then with time increase the calling like twice in a day then as time goes on it'll juz happen naturally coz if u no call she go flsh uuu to kn wtzupp ask her about her well being,family skoool if she has a guy wher day to day routine(becoz u sound like guy weeey no go sabi bring giiiist)every thing in general keeep calling dats how u create d feeling in her den on Sundays chat up with her buy her snacks or smthng den 1 day juz bluurt it ouuut!!comprende????@ poster 2 I feel 4 u my dear can't u get a day care close to ur office or better still get a family member to stayy with u guyz,and during breaks try and get her to bring her to ur office so u can see her b4 she 4 get saay u be her mama.
ReplyDeletePoster1.take it easy,don't rush.if it's a small and up coming church it's very easy.after each service try to hold her with conversation before she goes home.first thing on Sunday morning before service starts go to her don't be shy.ask her how was her night,hope she slept well etc.if possible tell your pastor Poster2.get a house girl,let your manager know you have a little child n you need to be done ontime from work
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteP1.. Its obvious you only exchange pleasantries with her. Start by being friends, its a gradual process. Wen d time is right to ask her out, you'll know.
P2. I can only suggest you talk to your employer. Explain things to them. Why should you even be working till so late??
I feel for u poster 2!
ReplyDeleteThere's really nothing u can do now...
U need the job and money.
Make sure u spend a lot of time with her during d weekend.
Be her friend first
ReplyDeleteIs poster 1 still in his teens or early twenties? That's how it is for young teens in church. I know! cos ive been there. I think like Stella said, get her number and start by constantly chatting with her. Its from the chats you know weda she is available or not overtime. Poster 2, the lord is your strength and will make a way for you
ReplyDeletePoster 1.
ReplyDeleteDear Church Boy,
Whether your intentions are good or bad,let her know so that u can free your self of this emotional bondage. The worst that could happen is her walking out on u. but trust me, she wouldn't do that. Be a man.
Poster 2.
Your baby should be more important than your job.Job can be replaced but not life.Be wise
What kind of job do you do till 10pm madam?!
ReplyDeleteI think it's necessary you talk to your boss since you can't leave the job for your baby. Beg your boss for sometime to look after your baby. If the environment permits it, bring the baby with you to the milieu once in a while.
I have said my own.
What is dis one talking about, assuming she is a banker, make she keep her pikin for banking hall, man grow up, na small pikin dey worry u or say u no get work.... don't get me angry
DeleteIs it me or that's how ur dad got ur mum? Cos I don't get this money buying girls gist all the time,ur childhood must be such a horror
ReplyDelete#Poster1: Follow Stella. #Poster2: I use creche too and the nature of my job is similar to yours so here is what I do. Ensure you bath and dress your child yourself in the morning before leaving for work, no matter how tired you are. This way she wakes during the bath and gets to stir at your stressed face.....lol (@least she gets to see your face). Now while at it, talk to her, explain the nature of mummy's job to her, pray for her, tickle her till she giggles. This way she gets used to your voice. (Trust me, these kids here and understand. Just carry them along). Look for someone to stay with her at home, never leave her at the Creche till that late. When you get home, even though she is asleep (innocent pikin wey no send you) touch her body, tell her you are back and you love and missed her all through(don't forget she hears). During the weekends, minimize your owanbe or any other outings, spend time alone with her even of you have maids. Bath, feed,clothe and play with her mostly alone. Do these for a month and see the difference. Note: It's not going to be easy but trust me, you will see the difference and you sure will feel better. God help all mothers, its a worthy task.
ReplyDeleteDon't keep your baby at home with anyone. The creche is still the best place at least your chances of hearing stories that touch would be minimal. Please look for a lesser paying job that will give you time. If you are stuck on your job because of too many family responsibilities then do yourself a favor by dropping some. Your child is your priority, in no distant future she would be all grown up and you won't regret the sacrifices you made.
DeletePoster 1. No advice for u. Poster 2. My love God will see u through, I understand what u are passing through. But pls that child is ur Gold and Diamond my love, in as much as u want to work in other to support her, why not consider teaching job? Or better if u can open a small shop, it depend on ur capacity, with that u can be able to see her and takia of her, but......! Why sleeping both mor/night? Pls try and monitor that day care oo, for security reason. It is well with u dear.
ReplyDeleteconfused mama big hugs, its hard when its only you hard as it may see if your child is less than ! you may have to just cast your heart in iron while trying to get a job with more flexible time. pally up with the day care people let them send you videos of your child during the day if the child is old enough you can call to hear her voice i wish you the best and pray you find something better soon
ReplyDeletePOSTER 2:
ReplyDeleteBeing a single mum isn't an easy job in the 1st place.
Workin till 10pm is far far far not easy at all.
Why not;
-try to get a daycare around work which wld be a lot better n make it easier for U & our baby?
-try to explain to UR boss that U have a baby and can't work till late cos am sure U pay extra for the hours our baby spends after 5pm!
-try to maybe get a help(close family, sister, or even UR mum)? U knw family is UR best bet Leavin a little baby with/for cos they wld treat the baby like theirs!
-try to search for job elsewhere while still workin at UR present office? Try search for a job that wld not make U leave even at 6pm sef. Let their 5pm be 5pm!
Cos really, it's best 1 bonds with her baby from this very little age. I know wat am sayin cos I've seen kids who don't know & believe deir mum is their mum & it really breaks my heart!
Kids are our joy therefore we SHLD give them that grace to have that feel of mother-baby love, bond, joy, protection & all.
Infact I dunno wat else to say cos I really feel bad for U.
PLS just take time to really think abt it cos UR baby is UR everythin.
Bless U
Hehehe, the guys are coming out of their closet..
ReplyDeletePOSTER ONE: How old are you? If anything below 27 (ds one wey you be youth leader so) then pray to God to overcome temptation & leave Sister 'Beauty' alone. Cos you are far, far away from marriage and as a 'born again' Christian you should not be playing with fire, abi?
But if older, then pray for courage & direction from God and then talk the talk. Be careful sha how you begin with friendship or you might be friend-zoned.
Goodluck.
POSTER TWO: Frankly not knowledgeable in this area as I have no experience. But maybe looking for a less demanding job might be a good idea? Or a business?
Hope it works out. Kpele.
@ Tm spice u be small pikin for most matter, don't worry, d lord will see u tru.
DeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteTell her the Lord revealed something to you.
That's the church 'line' for toasting.
Chai @ P2, d Lord is your strength
ReplyDeleteP1, how old re u?
Pastor 1 abi Poster 1 are u for real. Which kind spiritual child's play dey worry u. No wonder d girl didn't notice u. Which wan be happy Sunday. Boring indeed. See, ladies like men that are funny and interesting to be with. I pray she is not here reading this sha. If u tell her u like her she will never take u serious. Find a common ground to start with. Warm her hearts with fair and funny compliments about her hairstyle, cloth etc. Common guy think. Just be the bad guy but in a good way.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,for me,I dnt trust church brothers,I heard that that they eat and clean mouth from a reliable info carrier,infact I think she was talking from experience. There are 3 guys in my church looking for how to toast me or get me into gisting,but I sharp,I always sight dem from far and form hurrying and busy,I no want enter one chance,I prefer unbeliever to church guys,especially Winners bachelours,lol. Go and try ur luck sha.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, Chai! For now,there is nothing u can do.I pray u utilise every small opportunity u see to get really aquainted with ur baby. Tkcr.
Poster 2. Get a creche close to work instead. Talk to your line manager about your situation. Divide your break time into minutes at diffrent periods. Like 11am, 2pm, 6pm etc. Give each one like 20 minutes. Go there and play with your kid and you can eat there too. That way you bond more. Also, call the creche like 2 times a day, tell them to give your baby the phone. Even if she does not talk much that small blabbing sure works. When you see your baby play with her and let her get the feeling that mama is around. Also do you drive? If yes, get a car seat that you can put in front of the car while you drive. Be sure to make eye contacts with her if she's awake when not on top speed n just say the baby language that way you like and she will get the gist with time. Babies usually don't attach much feelings to this things till like 7 months. Pls don't panic.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 : I think its better you know her more as a friend before your as this may put her on becareful mode especially if its not upt to a month that she joined the church. Moreso what is your intention for wanting to date her? Have you prayed about it? Dont start what you cant finish ooo. Make your intention known to her while the 2 of you works towards it.Please make it a godly courtship. #Winks
ReplyDeletePoster 2. Ndo ooh,i guess thats the scarifice most working mothers make. Don't God will give you a more flexible job.
P1. Your story is similar to that of my hubby and I in this case I am the pastor's child we started as friends first then finally dating which lead to marriage today we are happy and blessed with kids. Start by been friends and then gradually. P2 take a day or a week leave from work and take care of baby
ReplyDeleteStella be putting ppl in friend zone since 1900.......
ReplyDeleteP2...You need to feed your child. All the people that will say business have no clue what it means to have a thriving business. They think business is buying and selling cloth or opening shop outside your house. For a parent (single or not), a steady stream of income is important. Your child will not smile when hungry and looking at you helpless. Trust me, your child will LOVE you for the sacrifice you are making. Weekends should be no phone days. Get a day care close to you if you can, take your breaks by force and lastly start looking for a new job (I know it is not that easy) but any job keeping you there till 10pm better be paying you 6 figures and above and I'm talking the high 6 figures not 100k
ReplyDeletePoster 1;As a leader the right thing to do if you like someone( a lady) all you need do is go tell your pastor in the church about that person, He will invite her and find out on his own from her if she is in any relationship before telling her His main reason for inviting her over, do the right thing as a christain.
ReplyDelete@ poster 2; No comment
Poster 2 The Lord is your strenght, jst take thins easy ok
ReplyDeletePoster 1, how old are you exactly ? Asking blog how to toast woman.
ReplyDeleteI hate men dat cant be men. Dats ow my pastor gave my number to one guy, dat d guy is a doctor said he's looking for a wife, did I spot him in his house one day. Just not to be rude I said okay, I knew d guy wasn't my type at allll.
He will call and say 'Goodmorning, dis is doctor on d phone'. I just called to say hello'. This guy calls me every day, atlst he must have called 50times and dats all he says.
Last week call, "Dis is Doctor, I hope d feul scarcity isn't affecting u, just called to say hello'.
Same thing every day, I dislike guys dat don't have any excitement in dem. Bcos im 26, and ur a doctor I shld do what?
Doctor no dey even make money for dis country. one day I go soon block am for my fone. I cant stand guys dat are not sharp. im a woman and I can toast better.
Bring up a topic and discuss Eg how was your night?
DeleteHow's the job?.
Are you not embarking on Trekking for Buhari?
Infact anything to make him open up.
Who knows,maybe he doesnt want it to look as if he is rushing you.
Hahahahahahaha...
DeleteLmao...
poster one take stellas advice
ReplyDeleteposter two;its nt easy bn a single mum yea bt try to be more conected wt ur baby..make out time frm work nd go visit ha smtimes.
You sure need to buy cow's brains from the nearest abbatoir
ReplyDeletePoster 1...Try to make her your friend. Poster 2... Speechless here but you sure need to make out time for that baby before u lose dat bond you ought to have with your child..
ReplyDeleteStory of my life! but I tank God for my mum, my brothers, I tank God. My dear poster 2, you need family right now. please if you have problems with them because you got pregnant, go and apologise and cry, let them see what yur passing through. OR get a live-in nanny with hidden cameras if you can afford, otherwise put yur child in God's hands. God will see yu through.
ReplyDeleteNo.1: From your narrative, you are a child of God, but I am bothered about 2 things.
ReplyDelete1. What really are your intentions for knowing said girl. Are you ready for marriage or you are in fact looking for a girl you can sleep with, who will be secretive enough not to rubbish your reputation?
2. You seem more concerned about your reputation than you are about doing the right thing to please God. Mind you I said "seem".
Maybe I am influenced by the rubbish I see going on in churches today. Be careful, cos the ultimate goal is doing the will of God & making heaven. I see guys befriending a lady, some have sex others go to her house always eating her food, making her feel like she is in a relationship. When a new girl that is more interesting comes, they leave & jump to the new one. Pls, biko, be a good brother & seek the Lord in prayers for His will. Relate to her normally, if things will develop, it will happen naturally & with Gods' backing you can't go wrong.
No. 2: Mama, I feel sorry for you. You must pray hard for your baby because this world is a wicked place & be extra nice to the people you are leaving her with. Prayerfully begin to look for a strategy out of your current predicament. Whether it is to start a new business, or look for a job with better hours. Nothing can replace a mother's touch & your baby's formative years are the most important - once gone these years cannot be retrieved. May God bless you beyond your wildest expectation, even with a husband in future that will also be a great father.
Baby mamas many in d house,I hail u all,respect. E hugs babe. A creche close to ur office will be fine.
ReplyDeleteSingle mum, make best use of the weekends
ReplyDeleteposter 1: dont mind stella, she might like u too, might, u never know but I agree u shd start with friendship, let it grow or die from there
ReplyDeleteposter 2: time to dust your cv maybe? there are good jobs where u can close by 6pm u know
Poster 2: I feel soooo sowi for u, d lord is ur strength just try ND make it up to her by weekends
ReplyDelete#1 I can see that you're still a small boy. Focus on Jesus.
ReplyDelete#2 My dear, it's well. Try take a break every afternoon to check on your baby no matter how.
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