This topic is a very sensitive one and needs to be handled with care!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...
MONTHLY ALLOWANCE FROM A SPOUSE.
I just want to thank God for this blog,its just lifts burden from ones
mind whenever you open it.
My story goes thus,I have been married for few years and am not working.
My husband's salary is just a #100,000 but the problem is that
its #5000 that he gives me out of it,though he does everything
needed,the #5000 is for hair, credit card/cream and if I need
more,he gives as far as I ask but gives his mum more than #5000.
I collect and thank/bless him and he says his prayer for me too is to
start working too,though we are both trying to look for a job for
me/planning a business. I told him that even if am working,I won't pay
the children's school fees and rent money because its the man's duty
as the head of the home but I can offer assistance like if we want to
buy a car, build house,things for kids or food stuff.
He also said he doesn't believe in my money that its our money and he doesn't believe in borrowing money from me rather,he'll ask me to assist him.Though he's a very nice man, but my BV's and Stella,please what are the roles of women/mother in the house financially?
How can a working/business woman help her husband financially.What are the kind of things a woman can buy for the home without the husband taking
advantage of her financially? I really need unbiased comments from
women working and how they manage their home financially not leaving
only the husband to carry it alone in this hard Nigeria of today and
does it mean that considering the fact that he gives his mum more than
#5000 shows he doesn't love me,because I think since am the wife,I am
supposed to be collecting more than the mother(just want to
know,please,no abuse).
Also,am I supposed to give my parents out of the #5000 he gives to me because he doesn't send them anything either monthly or @3months interval even if he can't be sending money to my parents monthly.Thanks and waiting
to read comments!
Hmmmm I might not be able to answer the being given money aspect of your question well cos i have copies of DH's ATM cards and do not need to ask or wait to be given.
Why are you poke-nosing into how much he gives to his mum?Its none of your business so remove your eyes from there right now!
Why do you think your hubby must send money to your parents?Thats your duty and not his and if you have not lovingly convinced him into doing so then wait till you start your business so that you do your bit.....Why dont you send something from your 5k every month to your parents and sweet talk your hubby into giving you some more?100K is not a lot,please learn to be content.
Most of the questions you asked here is petty and such only arises when a woman comes to the table with nothing...I dont mean to insult you please,just saying the obvious.
I am sure you will get wise counselling from others who have worn your shoes.Good luck.
hmmmm
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmmmmmm
DeleteContinue looking for trouble were there is non!
DeleteIf you need anything like money 4 hair or 4 your parents , ask him camly.
Another thing is 4 you 2 save from the little he is giving you.
If you start working, you can support him by buying food stuff n other things needed at home.
I don't see anything chronicle here........madam,u sound stingy and greedy.
Who buys foods stuff for his mum?
DeleteWho pays her NEPA bills?
Who changes her wardrobe?
The stipend ur husband earns and gives his mom a little from isn't enough to appreciate a mother.
He is doing so doesn't mean he doesn't love u... At d end of d day he'll buy d food stuffs n other needs for your home but he expects d little he gives his mom to cover all her needs for the month....
Madam if d 5k he gives u is too small Y not invest in a business?
Leave ur hubby n d way he takes care of his mom alone.... U can only complain if u starve at home n he feeds multitude....
Madam get busy and all these would leave your mind.
An idle mind is d devil's workshop.
My 1 cent
This woman is a humble woman stella.... just negodu write up...
DeleteUmu nwoke na emegbu umu nwanyi nwe obioma..
This is not a chronicle , go find work simole .
DeleteI may b wrong oo, but i'm guessing ur MIL has nothing doing and so depends on dt money 2 feed, cloth and settle some other bills. But u on d oda hand jst have 2use ur money 2 tk kia of ur personal wants(not needs oo).
DeleteHubby gvs me only 5k as well and it's not evn regular and I mk my hair, rcharge me my phone, subscribe 4 Internet as well as buy personal stuff. So at d end I hv notyn 2 save. But I find a way 2 get small change from house upkeep money. Dts money 4 food and other kitchen things. But recently, he started a small business 4me, and salary ws late ds month, I practically took up running of the home from d sales I made 4rm d business. He ws soooo proud of me and infact, told anybody dt cared 2 listen how his wife kept the home front while d delayed salary. So my point is, dia is no limit 2 wt u cn assist with in the house so long as hubby does not genuinely hv it at that time 2 settle. Hubby and I hv ds policy of "our money" cos we believe dt we both contributed in one way or d other for the other's success. But in all of dis, i'll still advise u to still put out a little somthing 4urself becos nobody knws 2moro. 4gv my typos mbok
A good man provides for the needs of his home. A good woman assists where her husbands money stops, Gbam! I know someone whom the husband provides for all the needs of the house but doesn't give her shi-shi for her personal use. U r lucky sef.
DeleteWomen need to get empowered!
DeleteDon't go into ur marital home empty handed. You have to bring sometin to the table
Madam, u av nothing to offer n u r already going off about how u won't contribute to the family rent etc.
Smh.
Anyway, berra listen to Anty Stella.
I'm a single lady so maybe I shouldn't be commenting.
DeleteQ1. Why should you hubby be sending money to ur parents monthly? Hasn't he paid ur bride price, aren't ur parents on pension? He can send sth to them occasionally but pls it's not by force don't put a strain on him.
Q2. Is his mum a widow if so, pls shut up and face front inshort, u should be sending her to remember you'll hv kids 1 day I wonder if ur sons wife would think the same
Q3: more like comment; you know your mind won't go there if you were employed make good use of your time to pray for urself
Also, marriage is a partnership unless you married a vagabond, I don't see y u wud try to avoid not getting cheated outta ur money by ur husband. The only reason you should feel he takes
Poster I wouldn't mince words. For a man that earns N100k monthly,sees to the effective running of the home and still gives you stipends out of it is a good man. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. How much he gives his mum? Shouldn't concern you. And yes you totally should help out when you start earning. Leave the big guns to him and act a supporting role except you both decide to undertake big projects and be smart enough to make sure it's joint ownership.
DeleteThat being said,if you can be on sdkb,you can go on youtube and learn a skill. Be a service provider right from your home and make good money.
Por - Por has said it all. Nne, get busy, joblessness na enye gi nsogbu. Plus, men are not supposed to die in marriage, u are his helpmate. U can buy foodstuff, bedsheets, detergents etc
DeleteFaith- this is for you.Can you pls shut the f up? what do you mean stipends?You may earn much more than that which I doubt but how dare you call somebody's salary stipend.I seriously don't know why he come over you after your birthday post.You reply most people's comment.
DeleteMy husband earns more than me. All I do is pay the bills. Electricity gas and water. He pays the rent and takes care of feeding and clothing. U know what he earns. U are there to support him and not to be a burden. My husband's salary can pay the rent, Bill n stuff but it'll be sad if I don't add something. Once u start working, try and contribute something into the family after all. A women I meant to be the helper
DeleteAnonymous 15:26 am so proud of you, love your comment to the moon and back and not Aunty Gwegwes, home breaker. How could you advise such. Which mmegbu are you referring to here. Poster be content with what you have. Why are you comparing yourself with poor MIL? You Remember you will one day be Mother inlaw. And why cant you learn a skill and be supportive for once until when God blesses you with your dream work. Gone are the days Women sit at home and be hoping on husband. Your husband is a nice guy, with N100k he still drops N5k for you and you are complaining, are you expecting N50k? Some Women earn as low as N40k monthly and still provide for their household. Be wise and supportive.
DeleteNne honestly you are a trouble lover. Please change. Fighting over something that isn't there yet shows the kinda person you are. Onye nsogbu.
DeleteReading comments!
ReplyDelete*******LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******
Alright
DeleteHiannnnnnnnnnn! Women, madam wetin concern you concern ur hubby mama? Na u born am?
DeleteWhy not tell him to increase the 5k,instead of complaining up and down, as for ur role financially, don't worry urself, start work/buzz first, u will knw how to assist wen d tym comes ma'am.
#myoption .
*******LONG LIVE SDK & SDKERS*******
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DeleteJust wen m trying to get over an insult on SDK blog, here comes this bomb.... @anon u are a stupid fellow.... Only God will judge u.
DeletePoster,lemme speak for myself o.me and hubby are working doh earning thrice more than me.I help out the way I can when I know he s short of cash cos I practically do nothing with my money.I help out cos I KNOW THE DETAILS OF ALL HIS ACCT. That is one point men need to open up to their wives even though some women take advantage of that.I knows his spendings so when he says he doesn't have,I don't bulge,I use my money to buy what I need at that point.
DeleteAs for your parents,maybe he thinks they are financially okay,that's y but if he knows your folks need money badly and is not doing anything,then u need yo politely ask him before the end of the month to pls include ur parent in his next salary cos they really need money badly and then see how he reacts. For the good things you v said about him,I don't think hr feels your parent need his 'peanut'of money
Also 5k s enough for you.his mum might have other kids around that she feeds and there might not be other siblings that sends to her for the month. So weigh all these conditions around your family and his and I bet u will realise he s trying has best.
Just keep praying to have a good job so you can send to ur family whenever you want.
I repeat, as long as he provides for the house.....you have to chill maadam
Anonymous15:20, always crying about marriage,na marriage kill u for ur former life,u will go out naked one day on top em jay matter, I kill ur mama put inside well? I follow u drag bf/hubby?
DeleteGo fry ur eyes chop.
May Em jay's matter nor break ur neck in Jesus name, say amen.
Go for thanksgiving on sunday as I don answer u today.
And to the miserable puppets saying am d "anonymous" eg darkness that claims to be sunshine ur brains re indeed fried.
You're simply looking for trouble where there's none o madam poster. Wetin concern you with what he gives his mama? You dey collect 5k you no happy? Shishi I no dey get except house keeping allowance when I no get job. Now wey I get job house keeping allowance has drastically reduced sometimes I no dey get anything.you're just a trouble maker n I don't see you lasting in that home because you're comparing your hubby with other people's. I pity you. In whatever capacity support your hubby financially, its your home also, the kids are yours also pay sch fee if need arises. Yeye dey smell stingy woman
Delete@ anon 15:20 easy on emjay. U don toast her b4 ni? Or she no gree 4 u? Did Ur beefing na okripo. Kilode?
Delete@ Madam poster it's well wit u. Stick 2 stelz's advice. She is on point. U go giv some babe 20k dem go change eye lik geringory..... lik say na 20 naira u dash dem.
DeleteDoors of favour wil open 4 u Jst dey manage d 5k small small. Virtuous woman relax Ur nerve.
Anonymous are you the poster?
DeleteGo get a job girl. Every marriage had its peculiarity. So since ur hubby isn't earning much get a job or start a biz so u can help ur parents.
Delete5k problems...
ReplyDeleteLet me tie my mouth and pretend to be a whistle ojare...
I will be w
DeleteQuiksilver you don't have a say on this one. Exactly! Just tie your hand and don't type further.
DeleteDifferent strokes, different folks! Poster if you had a job, you will know what to do in assisting your husband. Even the school fees you say you won't pay, you will pay it cos those kids are yours. It's not easy when the expenses is coming from one end. Be contented please. I know some people will tell you otherwise but be wise.
Na wa!! Anytime u need more money,get his atm card and forget his mum,he has to take care of her.Infact u no get problem
Deletebe right back. ..
ReplyDeleteYes, it's ur husband's responsibility as d head of d house to provide for his family but in a situation like dis where his salary is barely enough, a wise wife should assist her husband where need be.
DeleteSo when u start earning money don't leave d financial burdens for him alone becos u feel it's his sole responsibility. Help out financially where u can, not just in projects but in things that ur husband's salary is too constrained to cover.
Ease his burden. U are only to assist him, nobody is askin u to take over d running of ur home. Also save up, and send some to ur parents. Don't wait for ur hubby to do dat cos he is just managing.
Learn to have a budget and spend money according to ur budget. For now, pls manage what u have. Make a budget.
The money hubby gives u is for ur personal use cos every other thing is alrdy provided for. His mother will use her share to cater for other things asides her personal use.
Ur hubby is trying really. Pls appreciate his efforts. Make him smile. Assisting in d house financially is one way of saying thank u and he will love u for it.
See Proverbs 31. That's d kind of wife God wants us to be.
Mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com
Nothing irks me most than when a woman, be it wife/girlfriend or fiancé question the money I spend on my close family relatives. I rave mad at such effrontery and it's capable of irredeemably breaking down the affair. No woman born of another has the right to question a man's spendings on his family, rather fight for yours and let's discuss but the moment you question my mum's own that's the elastic limit.
DeleteAlthough my mum is way richer and well-to-do than I am and would rather give me money than collecting but I do often spare some bucks on her and any woman who dare question my judgment on providing for a woman who saw me through life and offer me the springboard to become a better independent individual in life must be insane. What nonsense.
There's no where its written that a mans salary is meant for the heavy liftings of the family, alot of homes are secretly funded with the wifes salary, infact she's the breadwinner but out of respect for the man, its kept on a low.... Once ure married, you & ur spouse become a team, and whichevr earns more shldnt bring about financial issues, as long as u both find a common ground to make things work.
ReplyDeleteGbam!
DeleteNa so...Park well, make we kuku drop all our salary now....lazy man..
DeleteReading comments
ReplyDeleteWww.nigeriabestjobs.com
Madam this na tough question. Like me, i dont depend on my husband. I do my stuff.
ReplyDelete5k is small and at the same time is big for some people. Just take style and increase am small by telling him you want to buy rice, etc.
you can help by paying for little things like buying salt if it is finished. that is when you have started working ooo or you are doing business. Your money is for you to be happy with yourself and help your family like your mama.
Dont allow him to borrow your money. If he says assist, tell him, you dont have.
AND IF WORKING, DONT TELL HIM HOW MUCH YOU EARN.
Don't tell him how much you earn........
DeleteSeriously?
Lady, we are talking about MARRIAGE here not courtship or something of that nature. Isn't it funny how most women refuse to lay all their cards on the table yet expect the men to do same?
I do not want to ask if you are married or not yet I am tempted to
My husband knows how much I earn and I see his transaction alerts from his bank @ the end of every month too. We call it TRANSPARENCY in marriage.
If you are married to a man who spends recklessly, like some "efule fus" who are on a mission to bring their wives down, you may hide certain things from him and that's only because he won't rest until he gets his hands on the last penny you ve got BUT if God didn't place the burden of being married to an e-diot on you, why would you hide that from your man?
Remember, the 3 things that can destroy a happy home in the twinkle of an eye are
1. Infidelity
2. MONEY
3. Sex
Can u imagine what dis idiot wrote... GOD ur type useless gan. Foolish woman
DeleteU go fear for advice. Nice one
DeleteSending money to ur parents monthly? Na 100k o! By the time house hold expenses n kids gulp down half plus ur own plus his own expense, d money go don finish naa...if he sends 20k to ur parents monthly, babe calculate it, una no go see money feed sef...this is 100k not 1000000. Unless there's something I don't understand.
ReplyDeletePoster, as much as you are confused, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT swallow all the comments you will get on the topic hook, line and sinker.
ReplyDeleteReason?
Because women love to outshine others!
Some haven't seen 1000 and they will come to the comments section telling stories of how they get 300,000 monthly.
My advice is you pray for wisdom and find a way to ask for a raise.
...... like 7000 naira snail?
DeleteKikikikikikiki
Your name Kwara...members of Blog visitors....Bwahahahahahaha
DeleteStelz, you see wetin you cause for ds December giveaway business? Bwahahahahahaha
Stella you are on point. really I was upset reading thru your chronicle cos it seems you do not appreciate your hubby's effort. you said it yourself, his monthly salary is just 100k, u are not working, he buys almost everytin and still gives u 5k yet u re bothered about him giving his mum more and sending to ur parent. were you the one that trained him? or bcos he married u he shld be sending stuff to your parents. if you really appreciate your parent, out of the 5k even if its recharge card you will send to them. Woman I pray you get a job soon, then you will understand what it means to make money and manage it. you also sound like someone who even she has is not willing to assist the husband.
ReplyDeleteChai... I love u 4 dis comment. What a woman u are... GOD bless u
DeleteMy husband earns 54,000 every month....
DeleteI am NOT working yet, he does not give me monthly allowance and that's because we cannot afford it.
Do I sit down and send stupid chronicles to Stella? Hell no!! I support him the little way I can, I have learnt a trade, bead making and Ankara designs. Next is to go job hunting.
Woman, wake up! Be grateful you get something from him and go get a job. Besides, are you the only child of your parents? Won't they understand if you swallow your foolish pride and explain to them that things are a bit tough for now, with the promise of sending things to them on a regular basis if and when everything improves?
How is stella on point? That the hubby doesn't give anything to his parent-in-law and u say there's nothing wrong with that? Hian!!
DeleteFrom that 100k he saves for rent
ReplyDeletePays school fees
Pays Nepa Bills
Buys fuel for generator
Buys foodstuff
Pays transport
So probably he is left with 15-20k and gives you 5k. His parents trained him, now he has to care for them, old people have health issues when you start working take care of your own parents.
My advice when you start working or get a business that gives you some change sit with him and plan. You are low income earners work together and build a home
I love dis... God bless u and ur home
DeletePoster,your husband is very very stingy!...
ReplyDeleteWTH is 5k a month in this country?...mtcheeeew....
I have my business but i don't contribute to the house...my money is mine alone and his is ours so I don't know how to advise you to manage the 5k he gives you...
I will only advise you to be adding some amount on the children's school fees..
Like if your children pays 10k per term,tell him it's 15k...
If the Nepa bill is 25k,tell him it's 35k...I do that too...
Biko start doing something ASAP...5k is miserable mehn...
I am not surprised wt ur advise, I dont expect any sane or moral advise frm u.
DeleteWhat a useless advice from a foolish mother...
DeleteExactly what Members of BVs said! Poster, behold one of the many liars we have on this blog. Follow this advice to your own detriment.
DeleteU b real case lol! Funny bt that's dtruth!
DeleteCommmonnn
DeleteDid u not see how much the man earns?
DeletePoster please don't listen to this!
Ur hubby is doing well considering how much he earns. He is doing very well so be thankful and pray you get a job soon
I hardly comment,bt ur response ticked me off!! How can u call him stingy? Its just 100k!! He will save abt 30k per mth for accomodatn,pay Nepa bill,buy foodstuff,from it is his transportatn to work,save for children sch fees,give hs mother,give his wife! At d end of d day,does he even have any for his personal use? Does he have any for the rainy day???...Pls choose ur words wisely. God bless u.
DeleteDumbest answer so far. I'm really impressed by ppls contributions today, it shows dere are real women here. Lemme learn. Pls queen, u shld also learn too. D road will nt always b smooth......
DeleteYou should be shot for this comment you just made, they are obviously a new couple who are trying to find a steady ground in sharing or managing finances. Madam I hope u get something doing too so u can help ur husband in some areas to relieve him a bit from his responsibilities, u both are one in this institution called marriage, there is nothing like I can't pay rent cos my husband is the head, nobody is asking you to pay the rent but the least u can do is drop quarter (when u start working tho) n help him now by being content with the little his giving you, someone like your husband will give you more if he has more for him to squeeze 5k for you after settling everything else in the house from the little his earning. Maybe God provide for both of you abundantly
DeleteP.S stella u had better post this comment.
Chronicles
ReplyDeleteWww.nigeriabestjobs.com
100k monthly is not much.He gives u 5k 4 personal use n does things around the house.I think he's trying his best.Take ur eyes off whatever he's giving his mom,u prolly don't know what kinda vow he has made to God concerning his parents.
ReplyDeleteConcentrate more on ur prayers to get a job.Your household is doing just fine
Sweethrt... 4 dis comment, U shall leave long.
DeleteIf you can't start a business yet, my dear goan find work
ReplyDeletebefore u married your husband, don't u send money to your family or take care of them
wah bizness of yours is how much he sent to his mother? you no want make he take care of him mama?
my friend goan get busy jor, it seems u have too much time on your hand.. #patsuondback#
Now be good and e a good wife.. inugo?
I pity your husband
ReplyDeleteCos by the time you start making money na SORRYbe him name
Imagine the silly questions you're asking
The poster greedy die.
DeleteHahahahahahaha. No naw, she can't be that bad
DeleteUsed to drop atm for an ex,cos she sef try for me wen I no get,though she knew her spending limit..I no fit try am at d moment.I pray I'm able to do it wen I'm married
ReplyDeleteGobe is when ur go to ur babe's place @ night so she doesn't show up unannounced cos there's anoda babe in ur house..only for her to insist on following u home to sleep over...how do u convince her to stay @ her place without raising her suspicion?
Wayward piece of shit
DeleteOver to the married women...
ReplyDeleteok....will read comments cos all the women i know have their husbands ATM cards
ReplyDeleteThis narratives just reminded me of the lousy neighbours i have, you"d always hear them argue and fight over money, i mean u can practically hear the figures being pronouced, theyre so loud mouthed that we all knw how mch the both earn respectively at their plc of work... its either she yelling about the last 2months she had to pay for the DSTV or he borrowed her money to settle one problem or the other, all these in presence of their kids oh... amazingly lousy for the fellow tenants, thats their number1 source of misunderstanding.
ReplyDeleteits jst obvious theyre not economically intelligent to balance their finances without the other feeling cheated, these are couple that earn 6figures oh, it goes to show if u cnt be satisfied with a small dick, u cnt be satisfied with a huge dick as well.. hehehhe... wrong synonym i guess, well u got the point.
Alot of women are the breadwinners today, even their kids belive its daddys doing, but No! i applaud wifes like that, cus it has a huge impact on the kids later in life, you wldnt want ur boys growing up to bliv its the norm.
May God provide more for those strong humble women....
DeleteIts like that in every home. They might be happier than u can imagine
DeleteEnd time salary
ReplyDeleteLol
DeleteSome of you just rush into marriage all in the name of bearing MRS, see questions ooo! Your type will be so arrogant when you start working or into business. How much is 100k that you are complaining bitterly like this.
ReplyDeleteHe gives her mum 5k monthly, so???? Yes, because he is married now he shud allow his mum to suffer after taking care of him for many yrs before you married him.
Some of you dnt even knw what marriage is, you keep looking for issues where there is none. Am not bittered, am just mahd at your questions. Have you even talked to your husband concerning the money he gives you monthly that it's small? Go get something doing abeg!
So you cannot spell "Mad" properly?
DeleteThe truth is that I assist my hubby financially even though we are both public servants.
ReplyDeleteThe secret to my giving is "Love". When I give, I don't do it because I want to be recognized, I do it for love and peace. I don't care what he thinks and says. I just do it for love.
My dear giving is from the heart and not the mind. Don't bother about how he sees you when you assist financially. As for his mom, just let it be. Do you know what she went through bec of them?
Please handle the affairs of your family carefully in order to maintain a healthy home. The devil has a way of destroying homes and this is a typical example of how.
Good luck......
PAEW.......
You give him money while he uses his to keep girlfriends...
DeleteLove gbakwa Oku!...
Madam,shine your eyes...
Over to the married ones......
ReplyDeleteI forgot to add that your husbands salary is not 100k...
ReplyDeleteMen don't tell their wives the actual amount they earn..
Shine your eyes!...
I disagree with you Linda.i m so proud to say mine do o.even all his ATM sef,his promotions and all that comes with it,I know exactly wat it is.its a practice we started long time coming.if he trust you,he surely will be true with you about his earnings.
DeleteProud of you lee boo!!!!
Trouble maker lol.
DeleteYou will ruin a lot of marriages if the people concerned heed your advice.
DeleteExactly what came to my mind
DeleteHan!
DeleteAre you trying to make the poster a rebellious wife? No, madam poster find yourself a job, take care of your house according to what you can afford or help. And, leave your husband give to his nother so that you can freely give as much as you like to your parents when you get yourself a paid activity.
Shuuuuuuu?
DeleteShuuuuuuu?
DeleteThere u go again! Anoda comment bcos of u. How do u knw its not 100k? I know my husband's salary,he knows mine too..bonuses and all. Not all men are dishonest u know...please ponder on ur words. God bless you.
Deletewhy would they lie about it pls?
DeleteIt's confirmed today, how a useless and stupid woman you are. People like you have broke a lot of homes in the society. Ewu mpam.
DeleteSo what do you say about my hubby that forwards his salary alert plus brings his pay slip home. He even drops his ATM when I need him to...
DeleteNaijahusband born and bred oh....we've come a long way sha still
pls don't stereotype..not all men are liars
madam try nd work for ur money jooo.. I like to be independent. ..ur own better nw....my husband is a business man nd he gives his mom 10k monthly nd 1kobo I kwn dey collect every month but I do ask wen I need money for myself nd house. .. av been married for 3yrs also nd am not working. . but am ok....am working on setting myself up.
ReplyDeletetry nd start a small business/work so u can send money across to ur mom. . wetin 100k go reach do nw..after u collect 5k,he will pay rent,send 10k to mama,pay kids sch fees nd still provide food. . With 50k u can start a small business. ..
Hmmmm I'll read comments
ReplyDeleteWell girl, you are discussing with your husband what supposed to be discussed in courtship! What were you doing with him during courtship; opening legs and browsing? You ended up entering into marriage with the wrong notion; "my money". The question to be answered here is; if the table is turned, will you give your husband any monthly allowance? Both of you are apparently unlearned about marriage. My husband and I have been married for more than a decade and we do not have any account that is not joint (yes the two is one flesh). We've never argued about money. We decide what to give to each others' parents on a regular basis for this is pleasing to God (see Matthew 15).
ReplyDeleteA couple we know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.
Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)
Madam Igo, come out of your shell.
DeleteBest comment I ever read on here. Perfectly aligned with wisdom of scripture. Am Preparing to marry and I'd be glad to LEARN from you ma.
DeleteBest comment so far!
DeleteI will read comments because I don't know what to say
ReplyDeleteBe contented with d little u get from ur hubby... Poster u kind of harsh sha,u haven't started business/working u already told ur hubby it's not ur duty 2 pay kids school fee and d rest..
ReplyDeleteDo u buy ur cream everymonth? Y don't u start saving little from wat he gives to u. U are even lucky to ve a husband that gives u money some no get o.. I didn't read anywhere u wrote u pay the rent n bills so u should at least appreciate the little he gives u.. U can start something small with saving n even send some to ur parents.
ReplyDeleteSaving from where?...
DeleteFrom the 5k?...
Hian!...
Saving from where?...the 5k?...
DeleteAkuko ndi owu!..
"You are even lucky to have a husband that gives you money"? I don't understand this statement.
DeleteWhy wouldn't my husband not give me money? What am I doing in his house and which kain marriage be that?
I don't know why I'm worried for you with this statement...lol
Dear Poster: you are creating a problem where there is none, it's your own duty to give your parents money when you start earning yours. Right now your focus should be on how to get your own self financially stable instead of worrying about how much your hubby is giving his mum.
ReplyDeletefor a man that earns just 100k, I can say that he is trying by giving you 5k steadily every month. after taking care of everything else. as for what he gives his mum, like Stella rightly said, it is none of your business. try getting a job and then you will be able to take care of your parents cos he is not obliged to. regarding what you are supposed to do as a wife, when you start working and you have a spouse that is as responsible as your husband looks, everything will fall into place. forget what you can and cant do now.
ReplyDeleteshebi he still gives you 5k, you better thank him, i used to be the one fending for my stupid husband until i discovered he has a baby outside and me i am still looking for baby, when i discover i just begin they palm my money, by the time hungry catch him, him baby mama and pikin he go sabi say life na two face he get
ReplyDeleteSuffering and smilling ...pls leave that marriage...
DeleteHian!...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteThunder fire you there..
DeleteSo you brought this nonsense here abi?...
Shameless fool...
Smh!
DeleteIt is indeed sad,very sad..that you would do this..
Anon,read this comment again,does it even sound right?
No matter what this lady responded to you dear,you see these personal attacks? Chai...it is downright mean.
Just stop this!
Ghen ghen!!!!!
DeleteHaba!!! E never reach like this nau
DeleteI wonder y peeps go under annon to call others out..... Oh well I'm waiting for response.. drama......
Delete5k is just too small
ReplyDeleteHo much is ur salary?
DeleteHow much can u give. ???
Delete100k is way too small for a family dear
DeleteI am not yet married but my fiancée gives me 100k monthly minus money for hair or other impromptu things yet I complain say he no do, woman learn to be content and pray for him so he can afford to drop more,
ReplyDeleteYou need the advice more
DeleteStop lying abeg!wait till u marry,coming here to form levels.
DeleteLiar liar!!! Don't come and push this woman into trouble
DeleteIn your dreams
DeleteWhat is dis fool saying ?? Pray 4 him to drop more. I shake my head 4 u.. A woman with wisdom won't comment such.
DeleteDo u mean 100cfa? Liar like u!
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
This is hw my mum usually does it though... Food stuff and lunch money usually comes frm her but the school fees and rent is frm my dads......
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Most Nigerian women put too much pressure on their husbands, no wonder the men die young ( some ) Why should your husband be sending money to your parents? Why interfere in what he gives his parents? The guy earns only 100k for crying out loud! Yáll should stop putting this men under too much pressure!
ReplyDeleteGhen! Ghen!!
DeleteI concur
Pressure?...
DeleteIs caring for his family not suppose to be his job?...
Madam, go get a job first, then you'd see the needs u can help with. Whatever he gives u, u should appreciate, some women don't get shit from their husbands.
ReplyDeleteLastly, he can give his mum whatever he wants. He's nice enough, provided he gives u whenever u ask. Imagine out of 100k n he's still that generous, pray that God gives u a job so U can support the house n also give ur parents too.
This issue is not sensitive jare, Stella too dey hype something. Different homes different palava.
Choose how u want to run yours, the end!!!
If your husband gives you #5k out of 100k for your personals and also carries every other expenses in the house then you need to appreciate him and stop complaining. As for sending money to your parents, don't you have siblings? Your parents are aware you are not working so they shouldn't expect you to send anything to them, rather, they should send to you and assist you in setting up something.
ReplyDeleteWhy not discuss a business idea with your man. I know of a widow who sponsors her kids by selling Kunu, Chin chin and some seasonal fruits. Woman get busy. Even if its sachet water and sweets or a petty teaching job, just don't be home alone doing nothing.
Hmmm.! I know how much I spend on my sons daily, God help the woman who will marry them, you better don't question how much they give me, else,.................
Hmm tough questions .
ReplyDeleteI think you are gona assist ur hubby with school fees and other things should yu come into some mean 2mrw - u are not married to a rich man , so u should say the things a rich man's wife should say .
I don't know how you would empower urself .
But back to your question-you should bring something to the table . As you bring nothing ..you really don't have the right to dictate how much is dispersed . No your hubby can't take care of ur parents cos he is struggling. And taking care of you and the kids solely is a huge burden .
Manage what he gives you and be grateful while praying and looking for way to lift some of his burden
Very sensitive issue indeed.
ReplyDelete100k is alot of money for u and hubby to manage and at the same time it's nothing.
I think 5k is small for you to manage in a month and I also think if you are a wise woman you can still collect more from Dh.
For now madam, you should know that ur dh is not earning so much. Let me give you a breakdown of what 100k can do in a month.
Maybe you guys eat 30k
Buys fuel/pay transport to work 15k
Gives wifey 5k
Gives mom, who is probably old and does not have other means of survival 8k
DH'S recharge card 2k
Toiletries 5k
Which will sum up to 68k
Then Dh is left with 32k to save for either rent/ fees or emergency expenses.
Madam, you just need to be contented for now.
When you get job, pls support ur Dh in anyway including paying school fees and even rent. Most people here will tell u trash but my dear, they will never tell you the truth abt their own marriage. What ur man needs now is support for u guys to grow. If your parents have other means of survival let them be for now until you are comfortable to an extend.
Wow... Wise.
DeleteIf he continues with d 5k,target when he's deep asleep n steal his money,period!
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahaha...
DeletePrincess from which dynasty pls? I take D's comment as a joke.
DeleteU just sounded like a street gurl. If u continue with dis kinda mindset And so ur home will not b at peace. Useless bitch
DeleteI happen to agree with Stella- giving money to your parents is your responsibility not his. If he chooses to do so that's great but he really doesn't owe them.
ReplyDeleteI say this because I hear a sense of entitlement in your mail which I think is wrong- moreover N100,000 a month in present day Nigeria can barely pay the bills in your home talk more of adding another family, so please be realistic and have mercy on him.
I do not believe in the man or women's responsibility bit because we women want equal rights but are not willing to take the responsibility that comes with it. I believe that a woman should be willing to chip in when needed irrespective of what the money is needed for.
It also depends on the man in question because some men can take advantage. My advice study your man and deal on a case by case basis because one size doesn't fit all.
This is just the reason I refuse a guy proposal this year. Though I didn't tell the reason. How can I be dating a guy who reminds me every time that I am working and earning salary. Each time I went for shopping if I see what He needs I buy for him too but let the mugu go for shopping even ordinary chin-chin He doesn't buy for me and He will demand for sex like I am specially made to be his sex provider. I just ignore the idiot like taxation. I can't marry a man that will be expecting too pay the children school.
ReplyDeleteYou should be more concerned about Seriously getting ur ass out there and looking for a job and not asking unnecessary questions. Ur family should be more important to u now before u start looking for who to give. Ur parents should know u re nt doing anything and if they re intelligent and wise, they will understand and be patient cos its ur responsibility to give them and not ur husband unless if he is willing to give them so remove ur eyes from how much he gives to his mum cos if his mum didnt bring him into this world and mould him into a good man he is, u wouldn't have married him...
ReplyDeleteMost of ur complaints isnt something that should be eaten u up. Dust ur certificate and look for a job even if na teaching job that can be fetching u money every mth then from there, u can give ur parents as much as u want. And learn to be grateful over the little ur hubby is doing since he provides for the family and u re nt lacking anything. Ur duty is to support him and not to give him headache.
Like what can a woman do to support the family, me for example i only buy my kids clothes and little stuffs needed in the house with my money while he does other things like paying the kids school fees and buy my clothes and shoes upon am earning .
Its the responsibility of a man to pay his childrens school fees and take care of the wife and provide for them but in a situation where by the mans earning isnt that much, the wife can support the man by doing the ones she can. See sweet heart, marriage has no formula what matters is peace and harmony. Although no man has a right to tell a woman how to spend her hard earned money but in a family where there is love understanding and mutual respect, i dont think it should be a problem.
Lastly dont let anyone decieve u, just manage the one he is giving u so far as u re nt hungry until u get a job then u can give ur parents any amount u want. Am sure u have siblings too.
. Any other thing bothering u, u can sit ur hubby down and talk to him about it but never mention about his mum again. Just try and look for a job and be supportive to him.
My humble opinion thou.
Now this is an advice. Well said!
DeleteChai.. May GOD continue to bless u. Woman of wisdom
DeleteWhere do I send my kisses to. My son will marry your daughter. Sometimes you make lots of sense. I love u for this. No formula for running a home.
DeleteOver to the married folks..still rocking single hood which can definately be boring most times*sigh*
ReplyDeleteAunty gwe
Lol. Abi o. But I'm not a gwegs yet
DeleteReading mode activated.
ReplyDeleteMadam please your husband is trying, don't create a problem out of nothing, this is marriage and its sacred. Feeding a family on 100k its not easy, atlst he's paying all the bills and giving you abit of smthn, be grateful.
ReplyDeleteAlso, do you know his story with his mother? do you know weda she struggled just to pay his school fees? Do you know if she went hungry, just for him to eat. You are under d same roof with ur hubby, food and bills are being paid for you. The mother is probably feeding and paying bills from that money. You want her to go hungry? The son knows better, pls face ur own front in ur marriage.
Also ur hubby has no duty to give ur parents monthly allowance, it shld be when he can. On just 100k, you xpect him to feed ur family also.
Pls intensity ur effort in getting a job/business. That is why it is advisable to get smthn doing before getting married. The load is a lot on ur hubby.
pls when you get a job, give ur parents from ur salary, and pick little bills in the house. It cld even be a small bouquet on DSTV that just goes for N2,500 a month. Your hubby will be appreciative ur doing smthn. Nothing wrong with assisting your hubby abeg.
Woman!!! I understand ur ish but u won't understand the role of a mother until ure one. And also u will only understand about spending wen u start working. I wish u work under someone before u do business. Concentrate more on starting something. An idle mind/hand
ReplyDeleteThis is where issues arise in the home. Probably you have friends that are telling you their husbands does everything or gives them quite a large sum of money.....my sister, all na wash o. No man, no matter how much he gets can solely take responsibility. He gives you something and takes all family responsibility, you are complaining! One eyed man does not value what he has. Marriage is giving 100% from both the couple and not 50-50 or other sharing formula.
ReplyDeleteMy husband provides everything at home!...don't say what you don't know my friend...
DeleteOkay, God will help you get a job soon!! So u can give to ur parents tooo....
ReplyDeleteFor real? That money is too small for a married woman to be frank.
ReplyDeleteUre a fool.
Delete5k kwa?? Start working biko
ReplyDeleteI do not think it's wise to compare yourself with his mom. Do you know the sacrifices she has made for him? How have you contributed to his life apart from been his wife? 100,000 isn't much. You will understand when you begin to earn. And what is wrong with paying your kids school fees? Are they not your kids too?
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, got nothing to say about this. It is well!
ReplyDeleteIs not the mans job to give your parents money for up keep, your brothers or you should do that,however,you can buy food stuff and other house hold things,or pick up bills like dstv bills,buy things for your kids like clothes and other small, small things,and always make sure to save something no matter how small from your little allowance, in no time you will get your own job and see that the 100k is not much at all,he also has family members he gives money,is not really easy for the men,women should learn to support their men.
ReplyDeleteIs not the mans job to give your parents money for up keep, your brothers or you should do that,however,you can buy food stuff and other house hold things,or pick up bills like dstv bills,buy things for your kids like clothes and other small, small things,and always make sure to save something no matter how small from your little allowance, in no time you will get your own job and see that the 100k is not much at all,he also has family members he gives money,is not really easy for the men,women should learn to support their men,my 2kobo
ReplyDeleteIssues like this must be discussed by the two of you, make him understand that he should increase it or better still start your own business...
ReplyDeleteYes you can start small...Cos truly you need you own small money.
Reading comments today
ReplyDeleteIts best you get something doing, if you are working you won't be bothered with all these. Am not bothered by how much dh gives me or my parents because I can handle that myself
ReplyDeleteIs not the mans job to give your parents money for up keep, your brothers or you should do that,however,you can buy food stuff and other house hold things,or pick up bills like dstv bills,buy things for your kids like clothes and other small, small things,and always make sure to save something no matter how small from your little allowance, in no time you will get your own job and see that the 100k is not much at all,he also has family members he gives money,is not really easy for the men,women should learn to support their men,my 2kobo
ReplyDeleteMadam, you have no business with whatever your hubby gives to his mum, besides, it's not a must for your hubby to send money to your parents. I may not tell you the limit to your financial contribution in your family because what works for one person may not work for another. Stop counting your chicks before they are hatched. Concentrate on getting a job first or establishing yourself. Every other thing will follow.
ReplyDeleteHmmm! Anyways am not married so let me read comment n learn too.
ReplyDeleteHmmm very sensitive topic,i must say I agree wit Stella on dis cos he too won't expect you to send cash to his parents,unless u jst wanna make a difference ie (playing d good wife part) which could only happen wen u earning enough.
ReplyDeleteWell as for 5k ish, hmmm is it for a whole month cos if so my dear it's not enough na darling Yankee ur hubby want make u dey fix ni? Dats if they re no kids in d picture yet ooo but u could manage it
As for role of a woman in d financial aspect, jst go wit ur heart, do wat so ever u feel needed to be done, rem u re d help mate n not a liability cos if u re still trying to play safe with spending @ home hmmm den there is a problem somewhr cos men gets tired easily. Over all jst be supportive in ur own little way
you dey even see 5k collect.
ReplyDeletehmmmmmmm.
who dash monkey banana.
Get a job first.
ReplyDeleteUna go build house, buy car on top 100k..will read comment!
ReplyDeleteStella, you're right.
ReplyDeleteStella 5k Na money wen married man dey give him wife ehn... Knwing fully well dat her parents are lil dependant on her, above all self all d shoes wen take dey do advert na how much. Pls rub ur husband head asin beg him to increase d money nd nor compare itself wit ur mother in law. Am sure he loves u both equally buh difft ways.... #am out✌
ReplyDeleteHe should be able to give you more than #5k. Haba! And yes stop poke nosing on how much he gives his mum. Pray and work towards getting a job or starting a biz.
ReplyDeleteBroke ass nigga! As if he can give 1k
DeleteU never get work u dey ask how woman go take contribute for house, wat kind of stupid question is this, y did u not get a job before going into marriage, it's nit ur husbands responsibility to take care of ur parents u hear, don't u ve sibling's and stop comparing ursef with his mum cos u can never be his mother, may friend go and look for a job and stop nagging, did u not know his salary before you married him.
ReplyDelete100k a month is small o in this present economy. The man's take home may be far less than that after some deductions. Even if there were none, men like to save for rainy days like rent, fees, hospital bills. So giving his mother more than he gives you is not wrong since his mums own is for feeding, clothing etc. I am an ardent believer of a woman working with her hands to help support a hubby, my advise is this, just manage the 5k for the mean time, things will definitely get better once you work towards starting your business no matter how small. At least if u start ur business he can divert the 5k he gives u to his mom while you give your parents somth too in your husbands name o even though it's your money. From your story I can see your husband loves you and that is priceless. Walk in love, trust God to lift your family and money won't be a problem.
ReplyDeleteI am a working mum/wife and while we don't share the bills 50/50, i do support my hubby because i earn almost as much as he does. Infact, not only because it will be unfair to dump all the responsibilities on DH, but also for my own pride. It makes your hubby see you as a partner and supporter in the real sense of the word, and he won't talk trash to you, in my opinion. I think it is a wrong mentality to come to marriage thinking all your needs should be catered for, it is unfair to the man and even you. That said, it's best to have a 'who does what discussion' before marriage sef. For me, shelter, general feeding, utility bills, are my hubby's responsibilities (though i pay for cable TV when i can). This is because i believe that is the man's job ( traditional biblical perspective, forgive me), and that way I will respect him and he has some bragging rights/ego boost. School fees is shared about 60%-40%. Minor stuff, i take care of. Also, it is none of your business what he gives his mum, as long as his responsibilities are not suffering. You would want your kids to take care of you too in old age. My husband gives his mum more than he gives me, but in the real sense, spends most of his money on keeping us (me and the kids) comfortable. Rent isn't late, bills are paid, so what's your concern with what he gives his mum? Woman stop thinking that way please. Start working/business, make money, support and even buy stuff for his mum when you can. Take care & God bless!
ReplyDelete@Poster - You need to triple the job hunt exercise ma'am.
ReplyDeleteBe contented and do not allow the Devil to screw your head over money issue. Be happy that he does and takes full charge of his responsibilities. To be honest, I raise hand for your man.
My DH pays my son's school fees, I contribute on the house rent (not compulsory just to help), he gives me money for food stuff and I add mine where necessary,so my dear when you start working, things will fall in place but be WISE. Don't push him away and you can still save from your 5K - o yes - because not every month you buy cream, avoid unnecessary calls that way you can save little and send to your parents.
Like Sterra said, forget about how much he gives his parents you don't know what/how much they sacrifice for him just get something doing and stop complaining ma'am.
I guess the Holy Bible didn't make a mistake when it says -
WOMEN ARE HELP MEET TO THEIR HUSBANDS. Gen 2v18
Pls when you start working don't forget to buy him gift atimes.
You should be contented with the 5k for now knowing full well that your husband is shouldering so much responsibilities and it is not his duty to send money to your parents , unless he does it out of his free will.
ReplyDeleteContentment is the key word here..
ReplyDeleteManage what he gives since he provides all the needs for the house.
Do try to get envious because he doesn't give your parents cash. It is not his duty to do so. If he wants to do it, he will do so willingly.
Try getting a job .
*in my Dad's voice*
ReplyDeleteDimpka wanted to get a Dog(nluckin)
His wife said Nooo!!!
Dogs will mess up everywhere.
Dimkpa asi, woman! Why won't I own a dog?
Who is the owner of this house?
They fought for days...
Finally their neighbour decided to step in.
Ngwanu Dimkpa where is the dog causing this problem?
Dimkpa has not bought Dog..
Dimkpa when are you buying the dog? Dimkpa does not have money even buy Nluckin...
Moral of the story....Ma'am,you don't have a job yet,until then...lines will fall into places.
Stop over thinking it.
I understand dat 5k isn't enuf for ur personal upkeep but den, its nt his fault...maintainin a family with 100k isn't easy with/without kids, m nt anywhere close to being married but I knw hw worthless 100k can be wen its nt going to be spent by 1 person...I won't even advice u to look 4 a job, tell him to start a biz for u, no matter hw small...biz grows and with time, u may be making more dan d 100k self.
ReplyDeleteYou are even lucky he gives you 5k from the money after other household expenses.abeg madam manage while you search for a job
ReplyDeleterubbish.....................put urself out and be a helper to the man not AN HANDICAP. 100k pere on rent, light,fees, fuel,n odas stuffs. dont u want ur guy to v savings to fall back on if things r tight.....ur folks r ur responsibility. his mama should not b a point of comparasion from u....d guy is trying..... me my guy is a millionaire but as selfish as fuck, until i beg n beg , dts wen he gives me money. buh he takes care of his child best....but me, he doesnt care but prefer to do big boy on street , n peeps b thinking am swimming in moni whereas am broke, thank God i v little thing doing. .......be thankful.
ReplyDeleteStella where is my comment
ReplyDeleteMadam, you don't have a problem,go and build your home.am very sure one of your friends out there is bragging and hyping for you how much she gets in a month. Don't listen to them.
ReplyDeleteAll hands are not equal, manage with the little one you are given and pray for open doors.
Again stop interfering with your MIL monthly allowance, it's none of your business.
I rarely comment but I will on this one... My siblings had it all growing up but things changed for my dad at the very early stage of my own life because I am the last child. Fortunately, my mom was working and we are 5 in number plus my dad's niece that he intended to train because she lost her mom. When things changed, my mom took over the responsibilities and became the bread winner. She trained all 6 of us with little or no problem, maybe i should say 7 because she was responsible for my dad as well. it was only known to my immediate family, no outsider knew what was going on. Today, we are all doing great, all my siblings and cousin are married. Dad has bounced back at this later stage of his life and everyone is happy. Madam poster, most women are the bread winners in their family but would never ever mention it because women like to pose and oppress each other. As far as i am concerned, there is no problem at the moment and like Stella rightly said "Take ya eyes off what he is giving his mother" otherwise, that is the beginning of trouble. Focus on being a better wife and a good mother, try to get yourself a job and do not create an issue out of no issue. When you get the job, assist around the house, you dont have to be told to do that. The guy dey try oh. Praise him and do not ever stop praying for him as prayer is the sword of a woman #my 2cents#
ReplyDeletemy sis, if he gives all the money to his Mom, she deserves it dear plus u shud be happy its his mom nd nt some oda gals, u shudnt be envious abt this abeg. he loves u more than his mom, hving the lil part of the lot doesn't change that.
ReplyDelete5000 naira a month?? What is that??? Money?? *faints*
ReplyDeleteIf only some people can hear themselve speak, if he is your brother you will be happy to see him give your mum monthly money, you knew his condition why did you marry him, you berra keep quiet and be grateful you are married cos thats what you wanted and endure with him, you saw rich guys why didnt you go for them and allow the poor man look for who can endure his 100k with him , walahi you sound like a very greedy and strong hearted person without any love , marriage is for better for worst , i work and darling hubby work too but i take care of feeding cos he is considerate when he is out he will buy tilda rice,bread ,beverages,toothpaste and blue bunny ice cream and others once in a while not minding the fact that am to take care of food while he takes care of toiletries,DSTV,gateman, nepa bill ,water bill,gas and others we do rent 60 - 40 percent, and monthly hair money ,we are starters , am considering taking care of gas cos i feel its too much on him,there is so much love in doing this.The anon that lied that boyfriend gives her 100k every month why has he not married you, aristo tins will come here and lie and give trashy advice. purge your mind to be giving and loving for the kind of mindset you have about marriage is not it at all. Pray for your husband and yourself to be loving very important.
ReplyDeleteI'm a single working class lady, I earn 100k monthly. I take care of my siblings and parents and it has not been easy at all. You have a good husband, don't allow the fake live pple pose these days deceive you into destroying your home with your hands. The bible says that a wise woman builds her home but the foolish one destroys it with her own hands. My sister be wise. Don't ask your hubby to increase it rather show him appreciation. Think of ways to empower your self financially. As for what he gives his mum, my dear comot your eyes from that side, that woman nurtured him to become the man you saw, loved and found worthy of calling hubby. You will be a MIL someday and you will understand better. May God give you the wisdom, knowledge and understanding to be a virtuous woman/wife. Hugs with lots of love.
ReplyDeleteMy dear I've been the breadwinner of the home for the last 3 yrs wev looks for work for hubby tire he only just got one 2monyhs ago his first salary was mere 90000 and he said he wanted to give me 10k inside I said inside 90k?? Pls sort urself out first
ReplyDeleteMy point is that 100k is nothing at all compared to all the bills he has to pay
Pls learn to be patient and manage his 5k for now..
When u get a job u assist him ..
Sorry to say u sound like someone who will be very arrogant when you start making money
Hmmm na wa how wld u say he should be sending money to ur parents .i fit give u hot slap right now..are u the one working for him? He can decide to help them but is not compulsory..he doesn't even have enough..so he should leave his mother and come give urs??pls go and get a job and help in the home and stop moaning ..I smell arrogance all over this chronicle
ReplyDeleteMy sister you don't have any problems. Try and get a job or start up a business so that you can send money to your parents. You can tell your hubby politely that 5k is not enough for you as he knows you are yet to start doing something
ReplyDeleteMadam try and be independent, it always brings a good feeling. Continue pestering him to start something for you and i am sure he will.
ReplyDeletePray to God so that he would bless him more and in turn bless you too. All men love their mom and would do the impossible for her.
Hhhmmmm....my dear you haven't got a problem. Your hubby tries as far as am concerned. Considering the fact that he earns 100k and takes care of all expenses in the house...u are good to go with your 5k. Don't ever compare yourself with his mother, rather look for a way to add to her upkeep even if it's one ankara or daviva wrapper. Your parents know that you aren't working, let dem bear with you, u can send recharge card to them from d lil change u get from buying foodstuffs. Also, keep away from bad friends n stop discussing your home affairs with outsiders. From your narrative, it's obvious u re acting of anger, bitterness n discontentment prolly after hearing your friends exaggerated point of view. You feel cheated. They also told you that you should never spend your shishi in the house when you have money. That's misleading ooo! Women can lie for continental level ooo. These set of friends just wanna cause confusion in your home cos they don't receive a dime from their husbands. My dear, get up n do something. Even with scarcity of jobs, u will always get a tutoring job or see a teaching position with all these small small private schools. With salary of 100k...u guys must be staying in a public compound(abeg I didn't say face me or I face you o, good flats built together)...u can sell recharge card, pure water n drinks from the comfort of your home. Men love industrious women...no matter how little, tender a business proposal to your dh and watch him rally around for the money for you. Madam empower yourself and your spirit. I perceive you as lazy and a nag.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, your approach to marriage is the approach of someone that thinks she has found a horse to work to death. If you were a man, would you find it funny that after footing all the bills, you have to take care of your mum and you also make sure you give your wife N5000 for herself unfailingly and yet she feels it is not enough and that you should also be taking care of her family. If you found out that your brother was doing everything from the little he was making and was also taking care of his wife's family and giving her a large propotion of his money to buy creams and recharge card, would you keep your mouth shut and mind your own business? I am sure you will tell your brother to talk to his wife that it is too much of a burden for one person to bear, but here you are expecting it from someone else's brother.
ReplyDelete