Hmmm three Narratives,one post.....
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
CELIBACY IS TOO COMPLICATED
Good day Stella! keep up with your good work God will reward you.
Straight to my point, please don't mind my English and punctuations.
Am a 24yr old lady, decided to be celibate since about 5yrs ago and it
has been so, but stella I've not been in a stable relationship since
then and truth be told I don't even actually like the guys I met. So
last year I prayed, fasted that before the end of that year I want to
be in a stable relationship because I really wish to start my life
early.
Towards the end of the year, one of the remaining few days in
the year to be precise I met this guy although I was no longer
hopeful and I was looking towards this year and just had in mind that
God has my life planned so he wouldn't fail me. This guy I met had
everything I "wanted" in a man. Meeting him was like my last minute
miracle. I told him about my celibacy issues and he agreed but said he
can't be in relationship and not be"intimate" with his girl even
without sex. He was open about it.
I gave it a thought and we started dating some days back. Stella am not sure I can cope with his level of intimacy, Stella I know him to be the generous type before we started dating so I too was reciprocating I don't see a big deal in that.
Stella since we have been dating "celibately" he has stopped being
generous. Now I feel I'm just been used to satisfy his sexual urge
even without sex you know what I mean.
I am not okay with the intimacy but can't tell him. My worry, should I stop this whole thing and how can I, is it too early to complain about his generosity. Am I over reacting or over thinking things? with this celibacy, can relationship
still work in this generation?
Please stella use your red ink, BVs cus me out but talk some sense
into me. Thanks.
If he was still generous would you have slept with him by now?#yougetsmalllongthroat.
Anyway,why do you choose to settle for less?if you are celibate stay so until you are ready to gbensh.No man will date you without trying some and i think what they do now is agree to the celibacy thing and then try to convince you otherwise later.
S3x is not only about penetration my dear,if you have been climaxing,you have been having S3x!
if you are not interested in going further,then call it off.
#Mytwocents.
.........................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
DATING SOMEONE YOU AINT COMPATIBLE WITH...
Good day Stella,
Please hide my email addy maka decoders.
My sis introduced me to this blog while she was on leave last year and since then I have been hooked.
Am a lady in my late 20's. Left school some years ago and have been working steadily. Am okay, able to take care of my needs and some without any assistance whatesoever.
Am not fat, am not Agbani Darego sure but I know am not ugly or the least bit unattractive. People tell me that I have a good heart and a very wonderful personality.
The problem now is I haven't had a real relationship in over 7 years now. People find it so hard to believe me when i say am single. How can a beautiful, nice and professional lady like you say u are single? It's absolutely impossible, they keep telling me. But Stella, it is my single (lol) so I know.
A lotta folks think maybe am looking for the likes of Dangote or my taste and expectations are too high but thats absolutely not correct.
I understand that the moment one settles for less than she deserves, then she gets even less than she settled for. I don't ask for the impossible, just the basics: a christian,working/business man, nice sense of humour and a brilliant conversationalist, is that asking for too much?
This morning, a guy I had been speaking to for close to 4 years (mostly over the phone, we just met once 3 weeks ago) asked me for a relationship that might lead to marriage and I told him no. He started accusing me of having been in a relationship with someone else and lying to him about it. But the truth is I wasn't lying, am single yes but I don't think am compatible.
This is someone I told i relocated and am not cooking (didnt even have cooking stuffs then)yet but eating out and in the same conversation he said he's coming for a visit and i had better pound yam and do oha soup for him. That was how the visit was cancelled. He is a bit unreasonable and expects u to do the seemingly impossible for him. makes unnecessary demands and expects u to rush to do his bidding. Since I started speaking with him he has never transferred 50naira MTN airtime to me.
Plus I don't even think am in the least bit attracted to him. He calls early in the morning when am praying or getting ready for work, calls while am at work and the annoying thing is that if I don't pick he will keep calling oo. I can't tell my staff about answering a lotta personal calls at work and be caught doing the same. He doesn't even get the hint. Since I told him this morning that we can't be together he has been calling relentlessly.
Anyway, he's asking for a chance to prove we both are compatible.Honestly I wouldn't want to waste both our time. So i want to hear ur thoughts and that of BV's. Should I give it a shot or move on and continue in my depressing single state?
Thanks Stella, have I told you that you are amazing and doing an amazingly great job?
Why do women always think men should spend on them in a relationship but when a man demands same,he is called names?he hasnt bought you airtime,have you bought him any?
If he is looking for someone to pound yam for him tell him to marry a restaurant owner for crying out loud!
If you are not feeling him then do not bother to even date him...
.............................................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER THREE
WHEN HE STILL SEES HIS EX...
Good day Stella,
Happy new year to you and I appreciate this platform for I have learnt so much from it. Please I will like to remain Anon. Now straight to the point,
I got married last year August to my husband,when we started dating he told me about his ex whom he dated for 8 years, she is AS and him being AS too, they couldn't get married.
Even when they found out about their genotypes, they didn't part ways but they went ahead to date other people especially him, but the so called ex was always in the picture while he was dating other women,terrorising them because she feels she owns him, left to the lady she wanted them to get married anyways but he refused citing that the problem of an SS child will kill their happiness in due time.
He did so much for her, like he was her rock, when we started dating they where still talking but I didn't want to fight about it, I tried being mature about the whole situation, but when I noticed she wasn't ready to let go of him, especially when we ran into her at a wedding ceremony, I had no other choice so I asked him to cut off all ties with her. For a while they stopped or so I thought.
She always plays damsel in distress and him the knight in shiny armour, anytime she has a problem she calls him and he carries the problem on his head. he probably sends her money which I haven't confirmed but I am sure he does or will soon start, Stella I can't help but think he still loves her although he denies it, I can't also help but think if her genotype where to have changed just before we got married he would have ran back to her.
I am very uncomfortable with this, I hate the fact that they still communicate, I have spoken to my hubby severally about this and he assured me that they don't speak on regular basis but I know when he leaves the house they communicate, I even caught him talking to her recently on the phone, I confronted him and he said she had some problems and he was just offering her some advise on how to handle it.
my marriage is still young and I don't want to go about this the wrong way as I enjoy peace more than fighting and quarrelling. believe me my middle name is FBI, I am the ex president of snooping team , but I don't want to return to that because if I start I won't be able to stop easily , so please Stella and the house, how do I go about this?
How do I stop them from communicating, she is an ex and that's where I need her to be, an EX...
Your advises and solutions to this problem will be very well appreciated ,
Thanks .
You cannot force an adult man to do what he doesnt want to do....tell you what,since she wants to be his friend,she can as well be a friend of the family.tell him to invite her to the house to meet you if he knows that his hands and intentions are clean.
I dont know what else to say,i even feel sorry for her.
*yawns*
ReplyDeleteJoblesshousewife
I follow you yawn
DeleteMy chronicle is that My bday is on the 24th and all I want is a good Samsung phone or any android phone. Thank u.
DeletePls take note.
@ poster one;truth is you are in this cos of what you stand to gain from him.else why is "His generosity" bothering you this much? Or is someone greedy here?
DeleteCelibacy isn't by force! if u wanna gbensh;do so fully with your conscience! And if you wanna stay celibate;then stick to it fully..
Whats with staying celibate and doing "Other things"? Ooo,You mean you are A headmistress and you are climaxing too?? Woow;i never knew there was primary and secondary kinda celibacy..
#makeUpYourMindDear
@poster two;if you arent compatible with him,then avoid any kinda contact with him and face your life/career
Cos with the way you are complaining about his attitude now;your nagging would be out of this world if you two should end up together..
What you need is A career man;stick to that and dont settle for less..
About men not approaching you;its definitely cos of your standard/class..An average man out there is scared of approaching A successful woman who is balanced financially,cos they would finalise that they have nothing to offer her..
#itsAfact..and you can choose to socialize more and also drop some hints(the green light) when you admire A guy..that would attract a prospective suitor!
#Goodluck
@MARTINS ABOY
Single ladies chronicle.
DeleteIs well
Aahhh;madam stellz isi gini??
Delete@poster 3;read my words,Dont ever try that family friend thing if you dont want to send in another chronicle sooner oo!!
If she wants to be friends with family;let it be from A distance..**hello on the phone with you or wherever you both meet outside ur home..
How can you even consider bringing An Ex your husband loves endlessly(till now too) into your matrimonial home in the cloak of A family friend??
Just pray that the lady in question here gets married soon;cos that is the option that can make ur husband concentrate on you fully..except precisely they both swore an oath to continue seeing themselves even while married to different spouses..
#Goodluck..better pray ooo !
@MARTINS ABOY
For d first n second people...All I see are hungry ratchet Gold diggers...only the third Lady has a genuine case...
Delete1.. Hold on your man is on the way... till u reach 40 looooool!
Delete2... a beg free Mr pounded yam.who has time to be doing chef for someone that can't make u noodles.
3... do as Stella said invite her over and suffocate her with kindness.
Cnt remember oda post Bt poster 3 d fact u knew abt his ex n dier being together wen u Wer dating and u didn't stop it den, how do u wnt to stop it nw? Wat u Cnt take wen Ur married dnt take it wen Ur dating.
DeleteFor the first time, I'm so so in love with something Stella wrote. So many peeps dn't know that sex isn't all abt penetration. U say u'r a virgin but u masturbate and climax, u receive oral sex and climax, or they touch you down there till u climax. But after coming down the ladder from the 7th Heavens, u'll open ur mouth again and say u'r a virgin! Rily, wat's d difference between u and those that have d full sexual intercourse? I dey laff all dese pseudo-virgins 4 my mind sha. Being a virgin, in d most honest description, is when you've had no form of sexual fulfilment ever! U eithr abstain or go all d way; dn't cheat or deceive urslf.
DeleteStella, God made men to be providers. A man that is going to provide for his family should at least start showing it. Even if he doesn't have so much, it is a sign that he'll take care of his family. All this talk about not believing a man should spend on a woman is the reason some men leave the whole financial burden for their wife even when they have the means. And for those that don't know, that is a form of abuse no be until he carry cane!
DeleteThank u Martins. No mind Stella. Family friend, if I hear.. Nne, no try am. Tomorrow she will freely visit even when u r not around. Pray she gets married
DeleteJust negodu
ReplyDeleteStella u no try for this your advise @ poster 3
DeleteP1: First I want to say u need to take it easy. U are so desperate to enter into a stable relationship and it's making u see every man that shows up in ur life as a potential husband.
DeletePls de-focus. In as much as u shld be praying about it, try not to make it d centre of ur world. It will make u make a whole lot of mistakes, like u are already making now.
U only met this guy ending of last year and u both are alrdy sexually intimate and it's eating u up. Was there even any room for friendship?
A stable relationship requires u both be friends first and get to knw urselves on casual basis but becos of ur desperation, I don't think u care. U just want a stable r/ship. This one, d way I am seeing it, wl only leave u heartbroken.
Why did u choose to be celibate? If u chose to be celibate bcos u love God and want to obey Him, irrespective of what d world says, then u shldn't have evn asked the question whether celibacy stil works in our generation. The world system says otherwise. Sex is sacred and reserved for marriage and whatever 'sexual intimacies' both of u are doing shldn't be either. Sex isn't just penetration.
I wish u'd get out and gather urself. Be patient hun. Don't be in hurry and end up making mistakes. Now is d time to nurture urself to be the proverbs31 kinda wife.
Let ur man find u. Don't go looking for him. Pray for him evryday. He is somewhere and he is coming to get u. I wish u cld trust God on this.
U can also read my article 10 dating mistakes young people make in mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com. It will help u a lot.
P2: U have only been speaking to him and met him only once. To be certain just give him a chance and get to know him on one on one basis, okay? If not for anything but to prove to him u were right from d beginning.
Would be nice if u cld read this article in my blog: 'Ahem! About ur marriage wish list'. I hope it helps dear.
P3: U weren't ignorant of this before u chose to marry him, in other words u must hv anticipated that this kind of thing wld happen, right?
Maybe u shld take ur DH's word for it and take ur mind off this case before u get HBP.
It won't be easy for d woman bc ur DH wld hav married her if not for d AS issue. Pls bear with her. She's just being human.
U can surprise her by inviting her out for lunch and have a hrt to hrt talk with her. It may even help her let go. Love always wins. After this, leave d rest to God to handle and see how things pan out.
Poster 3,trust me when I say this,YOU MADE THE GREATEST MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE MARRYING THAT MAN.I am telling you from personal experience.You see all these exes that can't let go,that actually feel like they own you?He won't stop seeing or talking to her o.He'll keep lying to you he doesn't have anything to do with her anymore but that na beta lie o.I learnt the hard way,now if I meet a guy who tells me he is still friends with his ex,na Ussein Bolts things o.Cuz one of the babe wan nearly tear me into pieces o.The idiot kept denying he wasn't involved with her but I knew he was lying through his teeth.
DeleteJesus fix them
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmm
DeleteEnd time chronicles
Ps1 don't ever ever ever give up ur celibacy.
It pays.
Wat do you mean by it pays? Do you think that God is a fool. This poster one is very useless. You don't want to sleep with a man and yet you are busy giving him head. Penny wise palm foolish.
DeleteHmmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteLmao.
DeleteDayo's wife sent Stella chronicle.
Hahahahahaha.
You ain't seen nothing.
People wey don undergo oath.
Shebi he took you & you daughter to Dubai recently after the supposed "ex" turned down the invitation to go on that trip with him.
Negodu.
Na so 8 years relationship dey end.
Be forming Toke.
I pity you.
Marriage is for better for worse and if a 8years relationship was all that why didn't they marry against all odds do not be fooled the greatest covenant and oath is marriage and there is no way God will not hear her cry if she prays every oath will be dissolved and any strange woman or seducing spirit will fall down.... You watch and see my God do His wonders Poster 3 its time to go down on your knees
DeleteChai! Anonymous... It is gaju!
DeleteHmmmm....@anon 15:51
DeleteAnonymous, oo ni gba afefe o.
DeleteYou shall be made unhappy in your marriage in the name of the Almighty God she serves.
The ex too shall never know happiness.
I hate BS like this. Making others sad knowingly.
Two of you shall get hit by a Datsun soon.
Laugh all you want.
Oloriburuku eda.
Sunshine olofo, Omo pao bi ibon, adajo aye. 20K wey den dash you don dey make you misyarn abi?Quoting your leaking brain "making others sad knowingly" was exactly what her hubby did to the "ex".You don't even know half of it yet you're spewing trash. Oloribuku alayebaje. May you undergo everything the ex underwent. Amen
DeleteSend in your chronicle then.
Ashiere Omo.
@Sunshine, please what state are you from?
DeleteThat eda got me lol.
Are you from Ekiti or Ondo State?
I only hear eda when I am around my people.
Sunshine shaatap ya mouth diA, some situations r more complex &twisted than u think, some side chicks were the main chicks before another woman jazzed and manipulated their way into the man's house, they become wives and then end up sending countless chronicles when the man's heart goes bk to his real true love. I've had similar experience, the guy felt like running away cuz he bowed to his parents wish, only for them to later regret not leavin him to marry who his heart really wanted, i had to talk to him a night before the wedding on phone so he'll be calm, stayed away from him, blocked him off fbk, whatsapp, bbm, etc, changed my number yet he kept searching till he found me, he practically forced his way bk into my life, yes i messed up accepting him bk but I'm also human, this is a man that made me a woman many yrs bk, the love was/is deep, the wife knows what she did to get him to marry her. Some side chicks are very beautiful and decent with high morals, they were once the main chick heading for the alter before a strange woman hijacked their man. The woman shd shut up and bear the consequence! Stella some women don't tell all the truth when sending u chronicles!!!! #heartache#
DeleteSunshine shaatap ya mouth diA, some situations r more complex &twisted than u think, some side chicks were the main chicks before another woman jazzed and manipulated their way into the man's house, they become wives and then end up sending countless chronicles when the man's heart goes bk to his real true love. I've had similar experience, the guy felt like running away cuz he bowed to his parents wish, only for them to later regret not leavin him to marry who his heart really wanted, i had to talk to him a night before the wedding on phone so he'll be calm, stayed away from him, blocked him off fbk, whatsapp, bbm, etc, changed my number yet he kept searching till he found me, he practically forced his way bk into my life, yes i messed up accepting him bk but I'm also human, this is a man that made me a woman many yrs bk, the love was/is deep, the wife knows what she did to get him to marry her. Some side chicks are very beautiful and decent with high morals, they were once the main chick heading for the alter before a strange woman hijacked their man. The woman shd shut up and bear the consequence! Stella some women don't tell all the truth when sending u chronicles!!!!
Delete@anon 21:29,
DeleteAre you a Christian?if no,then sorry to bore you,but as a Christian myself, my moral code stems from the bible.In my bible,there is NO word like 'side chick' and also what you are doing is simply fornicating with a married man.You are the bond woman .Yes,married man.Have a little pride for yourself my darling and please be aware that if he made a mistake like he is making you believe, he would have divorced his wife and married you.He said he is no longer under her bandage right?..Babe,please don't destroy your destiny, you have your man waiting for you,who would fight to make you an honorable woman.Dont sell yourself short.We all have a life to live and it's fleeting.
So many things we do or 'battles' we fight ain't worth it.I was in your shoes sweetness.Same scenario,first love blablabla and 'mistake' marriage too,he came looking for me after the wedding to give me the whole world,but I would rather die single than distract him from his marriage.I pray you find the strength within you to do the right thing my darling.Break Up and tell him you are single and you don't want his distractions.You are looking to get married soon ok?BTW am recently married after 'the one ' got married 4 years ago.
Anonymous 20:37, ejo lo ma pa e o. Oo ni sha nnkan ire je lagbara Olorun.
DeleteNa that 20k go kill you very soon .
You and your friend, epe ati ejo elejo lo ma payin.
Leave the man alone!
Iwo gan o ni gba ategun to da sara.
Bloody nuisance.
I cast you into hell!!!!
Anonymous, none that you mentioned.
DeleteSunshine eran,omo lasan ikeji aja.old bitter fool.May all the good things continue to pass you by all the days of your life.Akoba adaba lo ma je tie.ojo elejo oro oloro lo bi nku si.olofo abirun omo.
DeleteSunshine need man that's all.
DeleteI use tennis racket swing everything back to you and your useless friend in a million folds.
DeleteWerey alaye baje. Ejo elejo ni ko gberu. Na him wife say make she be AS.
Enu e le jo wa yen. To mura kokoko lori oro oloro. Ashiere elenu jija. Awwwwwwwwwbi.
O ka werey lara. Ntorr.
Lo ba babalawo e ko sa si mi. Iwo ati ore e le ma fori ko.
Oloriburuku ara e, how did you even know the chronicle was about your friend?
Thats how evil people are. When every situation seems to go with theirs.
Idiot.
Anon 21.29.there was a reason you became an ex. And a reason he repeatedly choose another to wife. You might just be nursing his ego or he os running away from the truth. Before long you will start seeing cracks. Wait for a man to honour you before God. A married man is a married man bound by God.think about your soul ..life after this earth.
Delete*bondage*
DeletePoster 1...... you are like a lamb led to the slaughter house. So the guy don slaughter you finish. Sorry ooo
ReplyDeletePoster 2 .... Dont follow aka gum. dont mind any guy that says he wants to test you if you love money at all. SLOGAN ... NO MONEY NO BACK FOR GROUND THAT SHOULD BE YOUR WATCH WORD.
Poster 3.... Stop forcing him. I did not bother to read because stella already give us the headings of the 3 posters.
una weldone
NO MONEY NO BACK FOR GROUND...Isorite,When Ashawo doles out an advice,you take it like a pinch of salt,#Dirty Advice...Ashawo clap for yourself..
DeleteDrags seat,pringles n Pepsi long troath.
ReplyDelete#makeireadcomments
What of LIB! U don come back? Waka waka oshi....
Delete*blessed child*
So you can't spell throat!!!!
DeleteSo you can't spell throat!!!!
DeleteFuck ha hahahaha these ladies are crazy
DeletePoster 1 do you always and don't succumb to pressure just to be in a relationship.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 you're proud and should tone it down.
I won't pound yam for any man because I don't know how to pound.
Why do you act like you're under pressure to date this particular guy.
Make up your mind about what you ant and stick to it.
Poster 3 why did you marry someone who isn't over his ex?
You thought marrying you would wash the feelings away.
Okay snoop dog but let me tell whether he is still seeing his ex is irrelevant.
It might be her or some other lady so how many years do you want to spend snooping.
Focus on other things unless of course he is cheating and neglecting his duties to you as your husband then you can hang him but till then invest your time doing things that are profitable.
Lol just seeing me and you said same thing about pounding yam to poster two.
DeleteLol @ snoop dog
Gbam! Tnx 4 saving me d typing stress on all 3posters.
DeleteI love ur comment,so on point
DeleteComments
DeleteDoppel, id love to meet you. Love your sense of humour. #nohomo
DeleteDoppelganger, you're too much.
DeleteArinola, I am sure something can be arranged but the way my ugliness is set up I'm sure you won't like the idea afterwards.
DeleteHawt Mrs oshey fan wa gbayi.
Hehehe,I don't mind . We equal
DeleteBut @ poster 3, is anything wrong with ur Dh communicating with his ex . I still communicate with my ex and the wife is very much aware. We attend weddings, child dedication and birthdays. We even still shares pictures. I even made aso ebi during her mom's burial. Life is not so serious.
ReplyDeleteAm very such u are are also sleeping with her, I blame your wife , who even know if she sent this chronicles
DeleteOo gbadun
DeleteOld woman, y didnt he marry you. Please stay on ur lane n leave d married man alone, when u get married den u will truly understand wat hus wife is going through
DeleteIf a man is seeing his ex I wonder y he got with u in the first place.But this chronicle hmm, I don't know y it seems like some men are just so full of shit that I wish many of them be wiped off the face of this earth let women rest.Yet, if they wipe them off women will beg them to come back.
ReplyDeletePoster one, move on or give in.
ReplyDeleteDon't be not comfortable with it, and then be asking what to do.
Poster two, you feel you both again not compatible.
You're not attracted to him.
Stop entertaining him then.
Simple.
About being beautifully single, it's not a strange thing.I can relate.
I suppose people just assume that you're taken, just because you're beautiful and probably well mannered.
But that will not make you to settle for anything abeg.
Poster three, chai.
That clingy ex ish, is always a nightmare.
Family friend ke?
Haaa!
That's the worst o.
That's like giving her liberty to go and come at anytime, and believe me, she'll make the best opportunity out of it.
Same way they were in love and dating other people, will be the same way he'll be married to you, and gbenshing her on your matrimonial bed.
Ever heard about the power of a praying wife?
In most cases of the ex who won't go away aka the other woman, nothing physical will make her leave o.
Even snooping and confronting won't.
Take the aggressive prayer route and possess your possession.
The violent.....
#WhiteDiamondOut
You just gave a beautiful advise to poster 3. Her case is worrisome.
DeletePoster 3: He dated her for 8 good yrs, 8yrs is not skippers moi-moi oh, ofcourse he's still in love with her, the only barrier to their flourishing love is the genotype they share twisted with their burning hearts, this woman will be ur constant nightmare till she finds herself in another r/ship.... I've watched situations like this play itself with me as a witness, and it didn't end well, it takes a real mess to put an end to it. Don't even wonder if they're still fucking eachoda, cus they are, most definately, AS dating another AS always share this inexplicable bond along with their genotype. Keep fighting to keep them apart.
ReplyDeleteJehovah Ebeneezer fix it for the 3 posters.
ReplyDeleteIt is well.
And the Chronicles continues.
ReplyDeletePosters, God will help guys to take the right decision.
Na wa for all this ladies who form #TeamCelibate and still kiss, what's the Celibacy about??? Abeg make the guy free you, if you ready, you go find.
ReplyDelete#IbileLawonEleyi
Am here to learn
ReplyDeleteWrong advice from stellakork to poster 2. A man that cant take care of his woman is worst than an infidel.
I tell you! @ Stella's advice to poster 3. She should become family friend ni. Draw her close and make her your prayer partner. Tell her your people are like sisters and u understand her pain. Then Start praying points like "every arrow targeted at my household be consumed in the fire of the Holy Ghost. Father expose! Expose!! Weed them out. Confusion in their midst" Then watch her reaction. thats what my mothers friend did. But if neither of u are Christians then this might not work for u.
ReplyDeletePoster 2- please why are you complaining? Being single isn't a death sentence. You don't have to date for donkey years before you marry. Your miracle can come in a different way. If you don't like all these things the guy has been doing then why did u stick with him? Don't you know how to read red light? Mind u, there are many ladies that will easily do all these things your complaining about. They won't mind at all. Please leave him to find them.
Poster 1- when you make a decision learn to stick by it. Cos the moment you break a little away from it, you will keep being pushed until you completely give in. He wants you to complain so he can tell you that he wants more than 'non-penetration'. While your desperate to keep him, you will give in. Please pick a struggle. Don't sit on the fence.
Your advise to poster 3 is so funny. I support u
DeleteLmao @ pounced yam and pharm soup.
ReplyDeleteDude was probably joking.
That would have put me off too. I hate when a guy says "Ollie, I am coming to your house o,Hope you cooked?
My response is always drastic.
Better sit your hungry arse at your house.
But Poster, don't date any guy for the wrong reasons. Don't force yourself to be compatible. It won't werk.
As you are unhappy, a man won't make you happy either .
So better go buy happiness and some self confidence.
Poster 3. I feel pity for you.
Don't just throw her off a bridge yet but DO NOT invite her into your home.
Don't play that game.
Stop acting like she exists. You will give yourself sleepless nights and HBP.
Get busy!
Poster 1, what do you mean by generous? Stop collecting his "generosity" if you are not being generous too.
Tie your legs together and tighten your arse.
*pounded yam
Delete*oha
No be only pounced yam: Lol
DeleteI support Stella's advices except d last one.
ReplyDeleteEither u act like u not seeing all these or u call her urself, speak with her if she's arrogant n stubborn u give her d warning of her life.
He's your man now, she should scout for hers
End time chronicle
ReplyDeleteI know the feelings of the AS girl in the last chronical. She spent 8 years with your hubby, you are just starting life with your hubby. She is like a best friend to your hubby and your hubby probably knows her too well to have stuck with her for 8 years. I know how sad you must be feeling but if I were you, I would become her friend too and hang out with her and try hooking her up with other guys. There is really nothing much you can go except you wan kill her. These two people are in love with themselves and will always be there for each other. Become her best friend too, but don't bring her close to your home... infact God help you, this will be hard even if the girl gets married. As long as she and your hubby were very much in love.
ReplyDeletePoster 3..
ReplyDeleteSomething similar happened to me
I had this boyfriend before I met hubby, he was AS and I was AA. He told me how he had to break up with his girl friend of 5yrs because of genotype issue.. She calls him all the time, sends message and he obliges. They talk almost everyday despite the fact that they have broken up and in different state..
The day he brought out the ring to propose to me I told him I had to think about it..
After 2 weeks I told him I couldn't marry him. Because 1. He wouldn't be proposing if genotype didn't get in the way
2. He loved me and was very generous but I couldn't help but notice he loved her more and I couldn't compete with that... And immediately I left him, same week I met my husband
So now the only thing you can do since you have married him is to keep telling him how you don't like their communication.. Please don't invite her to your house. Before she will come in and get comfortable and even start sleeping with him in your matrimonial bed without you suspecting..
Keep talking and talking until he finally listens
Hmmmmm !!!! 3rd poster gaskya I no no wetin I wan tell u oo. Buh as stella talk e b lik dats wah u wud say too.. Ma own bf is marryin anoda n d dude sti de love me madt... I de run headover heels against ma will.. Buh cox I no want d wifey to feel dis way too... God help me sha
ReplyDeleteNext time, write like a person worth falling "madly in love" wit!
DeleteSo in your little mind, u think its about the writing, last time I checked there is no set standard for writing here. If I like I use hausa, its either u say something positive or jut sharrrraaap #madamgrammer#
Delete@poster 3
ReplyDeleteSomething tells me they have always been like this even while you were dating your hubby but something in your head kept telling you marriage will change things
Na true u talk!
DeleteYou are right. The only solution to this is prayer, agidi oran, ebe o ran afi adura. Pray that the other lady find a man she can love like your husband if not even when she is married they will continue. Some love just refuse to die and keep hunting the other partners. Except you have been in this situation before you can't understand.
DeleteMy first love's wife was alwyas scared of me being part of the husband's life until I got married. She he told the husband that we will still have sex with each other in old age because we never did before, to tell you how scared she was,because ours was young love that we did not handle well and its still burning in us. But I have made limit to my communications with him so that the lady could enjoy her home and I to enjoy my too. So pray for her to be settled.
Poster two I can never pound yam for any man. I don't even know how to pound yam sef. Ive never done it and dont plan to till the spirit directs. I also dislike men that are over eager. Calling you every min like you are holding their destiny. Try to be more accommodating tho. Try not to write off a man maybe cos he made a certain mistake or said something wrong. Give them more chances but don't let anyone take u for a fool just cos u want a relationship
ReplyDeletePoster three your husband will soon start sleeping with that woman. She dsnt want to leave him alone. Keep your eyes on him.
With technology you don't have to pound yam anymore
DeleteJust boil yam and put into a good processor. Allow it do the magic. Scoop out and serve. Finish
Technology be saving life since 2000
@. XXX...I can never pound for any man,i will never pound..ok na..Pride!!!!I know say u. Never marry,xo am nt surprise,sha no write to Stella wen u dey 45 begging for her to link you up with any man o...Cuz na xo pipo like u dey end up oh!
DeleteLol@ holding destiny... Poster 3, I honestly pray u aren't just a baby making machine in tht marriage. Watch wat happens after u give birth. Dey both might be planning how to out u while dey get back together, dis happened to a friend of my mums... My advice - pray pray pray!
DeleteThat's is why u a baby mama Na your bad character make am no marry u
DeleteDubai connection you're really a fool. First you claim that u know me and that I live in Abuja now I have a bad character. You must be my baby father right?! Idiot. I can never even lower myself under a scum like you. Feel sorry for women who do. Stella if u like don't post my comment. You post comments of people insulting me. I reply them you refuse to post
DeleteWhy is that all the guys that added me from the new year's eve singles n mingles are not handsome, within 35-40,nor caring? They are all within 29-31 and not good-looking, they can't even call, all they do is chat u up even till 12am if u allow them. That's not what I want. My spec is 32-40 but seems all within that range are married, good looking if not overly handsome, white guy, black, mixed, all join so far u meet the above spec and u know u have a good heart, have a good job if not wealthy and very single. I want to have a serious relationship this year and I long to get married, not desperate.. That was my 1st S n m and it's really not it. Stella, pls organise another..i want to be boo-full this year.
ReplyDeleteStella i totally don't agree with you on this.invite her to their home ke? Capital NO. that is more like creating extra problem for herself. i no of a friend who did that and now she has a mate(as in second wife) in the house despite what the wife said and all of that. my dear poster 3 all u need now is prayers and also showing plenty love to your husband. it wont be that easy to stop loving a girl u were with for 8 whole years. anyways if na me be that girl i fit no give up as its really not a very easy tin to do.
ReplyDeleteHmmn... Things happen!
ReplyDelete@ poster 3..i'm sure u knew about the ex b4 marriage and u knew dey were close, u shld av settled d ex thing b4 marrying him ooo..i'm sure u felt marrying him will make him more attached to him..anyway, sit him down and explain to him from ur heart how u feel..den tell him what is he was in ur shoes, what will he do....i wld av asked u to invite d girl and tok to her heart to heart but d lady might be a very senseless person for ha not to have left ur hubby and go and look for ha man..handle it with wisdom..i wish u d best and may God fix ur young marriage oo
ReplyDeletePoster 1, let me tell you the truth,its going to be very hard for a man who has been accustomed to having sex shld stop it becos of ur celibacy. He can claim to be celibate along with you, but he will be getting it outside.
ReplyDeleteIts very hard for men of nwdays lets be truthful. Except that decision of celibacy comes from them. I have a guy friend who became celebate after finding Christ, he in-turn met a girl that was born again and celebate. They are married today with 2kids.
You cant change dis guy to be celebate. I advice you go get urself a born again Christian that is celebate. Who decided to be celebate by himself, not you requesting it. Good luck
@poster1, calibacy isn't a bad decision dear though may seem hard but then the man of ur choice will come by soonest, I did that after I left after I broke up with my ex bf, some months later in 2014 I met a better guy who supported me in this n to God's glory we are tying d knot on the 5th of march, so u see! Just seek God's help n the right man will locate, fornication isn't right no matter what people think abt it, stick to the truth(God's word)
ReplyDeletePoster 1: if u r not comfortable with the intimacy thing stop it immediately don't do things u don't like because of someone. U never can tell if the guy is using u or he wants something serious
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Don't ever expect anything from a man in a relationship work hard for ur own money. If u r not into him let him go so that u won't waste his time. Dont date someone out of pity
Poster 3: Just pray about it and like Stella said invite her to ur house duno if it's gonna be a bad idea to ask ur hubby to chose between the both of u just try to scare him small if he would stop talking with the guy. Sit ur husband down and ask him how would he feel if u were still communicating with ur Ex just like he was doing
BTW, I've missed pepper ose oku ooo...gone are those days
ReplyDeleteI tell u! I still believes she comes here and drop comments under anon. Whenever I see a smart anon, I just think it might be her. And I know thrs no way she said those things aprokos brought to Stella.
DeleteP1 it's very difficult 4 relationships in our generation 2 work especially wen 1 is active and de oda is nt. De ball is in ur court and ur old enuf 2 knw wat u want, No 1 can make dat decision 4 u, bt nid I remind u dat ur clock is ticking. P2 dnt even knw wat 2 say in dis case, u can't judge a book by its cover unless ur nt ready 2 settle down. Sit down der de find mr perfect, u go old 4 aus. Jesus is coming soon. P3 madam its all ur fault, u shld ave sorted dis mess out, b4 marrying ur husband, jst imagine! Stick 2 stella's advice, bt if it doesn't work out, speak 2 her 1 on 1 if she's stubborn, do de nidful, make a poster 4 ur husband's EX title husband snatcher with her name. Let's see if she will nt go.
ReplyDeletePoster 1...see eehn dis celibacy of a thing annoys me...how can u be in a relationship with a guy and u will not straff...u want to tell me u don't like straff..am very sure u do..u re just scared of being used and dumped..u take sec too serz..is it not the both of u dat will enjoy it..am very happy d guy was open to u..it shows his honesty..and he is generous towards u..so u want to use him..is it not both of u dat is enjoying it..all of u forming celebate...if like don't start staffing when u get married u will start sending Stella chronicles dat ur husband don't know how to straff..Pratice makes perfect
ReplyDeletePoster 2...dis ur chronicles show dat ure too damm proud..with d way ure analyzing urself..I don't have any issue with ur ego..but when it gets overboard dats when it can't be controlled again..dat is ur own case..Shey u Dey claim independent maybe u showed d guy can take care of urself..truth be told no man like dat.
I had to come and reply this even though it's late
DeleteYou really need help...oh she should "straff" abi
You seem to forget that that's a sin...keep giving useless advice nonsense
Like the "straff" you've been doing your whole life has helped you in anyway
You guys don't know you keep hurting God...I'm just so glad my God is a merciful God
Premarital sex is a sin
Poster one drop d act m allow d fuck u jor. Wetin sef.
ReplyDeleteStellz your advice on poster 2 is so on point... Babe, you gat smelly attitude and it smells like dead rat. Your pride will never allow any guy to approach you. Just look at the flimsy excuses you giving, are you hungry that you need him to send card on a daily basis? And for a responsible woman, the kitchen is to be an active part of the house... Obviously, you are just a lazy ass... And that's why guys avoid you like Ebola
ReplyDeletePoster two if u can't date him dump him let another babe take over.
ReplyDeletePoster three...chill, since ur hubby didn't marry her cos of genotype issues, he won't. If she likes let her not go n look for an AA, she go old n ur hubby will get tired of playing d double game.
ReplyDeletePoster1, your own man will come at the right time. Don't be desperate
ReplyDeletePoster 2, if you know he's not your taste, then free him na.don't date someone you can't cope with.
Poster3, you better take it easy and face your marriage. You can't force him to quit talking to an ex.. the last time I checked I dint read it is a must to stop communication with an eX.
Mumu
DeleteAnno 20:25 na your papa and mama be mumu. Gerrit?
DeleteYou all need Jesus.
ReplyDelete#Walk with God and see His wonders in your life
poster 3;commit it into God hands
ReplyDeleteposter 2;please forget him
poster 1;just negodu.
Poster 1. ..your narrative is not memorable.
ReplyDeletePoster2. ..Hmmm. An African man and you won't pound yam? Hahahhahaha. Why didn't you buy already pounded yam and make it for him? or buy it in a fast food and prepare the soup yourself. If women should tell you the wisdom they applied to get married and stay married, you won't believe it. No wonder good honest girls like you are single. You haven't said what your problem is.
Poster3...its dangerous to date a man that is still in love with another woman. Once you give birth, you become less valuable because that is why he married you. Nag him less and pray more.
XOXO MYSTERY
I agree
DeleteHmmmm Wetin this genotype issue dey cause?
ReplyDeletePoster1:what are u celibating abeg start gbensing jare.
ReplyDeletePoster2:babe u too proud and if u are not careful u will end up being single till wen u are 40 maybe den u will start begging guy to date u or better still marry u.
Poster3:Adhere to Stella advice and u can even link her wit any guy DAT u tink can make her forget abt ur hubby.
That how my frnd was claiming'celebate'last year but she lodged with a guy,received 'head'and 'came'wen d guy wntd to do she begin form celebate.y'all stop deceivn urselves.its either u r in or out.make ur 'choose'
ReplyDeleteoo chinha ooooo.
ReplyDeletePoster 1,continue deceiving yourself. When you are serious we go know. Poster 2 decide on what you want and go for it. If he is not what you want don't give him a try. Poster 3,commit it to God in prayer
ReplyDeleteLwkmd.....
ReplyDeletePoster3, keep doing peaceful wife okay.... Until you become a shadow of yourself.
I'm a married woman like you and we are both young in marriage. My dear, my hubby and his ex were trying to pull that stunt on me oh! I finished him most especially. I told him to fuck to hell with his exes that won't let our marriage be. I was always giving him fire for fire. I told him worst comes to comes the marriage will break. I always gave it to him hot. omo, the guy just cool off. No be me toast am na him come toast me. I no force am marry me na him say him wan die put on top my matter. So he has to be responsible and keep his promise (vow). Your hubby is still misbehaving because you permit him to. Give him fire and his brain will reset.
Call his friends and relatives and tell them what he has been doing. Collect that prostitutes number and warn her. I told my hubby then that if your useless ex ends up breaking my home, I will make sure I use the last drop of blood in my body to ruin her life my hubby shock. He had to cut off all ties and I still dey snoop they mark am bumper to bumper.
His even the one that tells me now when ladies make advances at him. I no dey smile on top my thing oh! Because when I dey work hard to keep my home well one woman dey somewhere dey enjoy then later she wants to come and reap from where she did not sow. Fire of God!!!
I can't be alive and watch another woman ruin my home oh! Ha! that woman will know that I am equal or more than her powers. Anywhere she want make we carry am go I am ready because I didn't sleep with another woman's husband so I won't allow another woman to sleep with my own. I am not a stupid christian. My eyes are everly open 24/7.
Woman better start treating your hubby's fuck up. See open a fake facebook account and call her out there. Set your hubby up just do something to end these their madness.
See how the thing dey pain me like say na me e dey happen to. When I'm angry I just express myself better in person so it will sink well inside the brain of the person.
I talk advise you finish. Prayers a times is not the only solution. Physical confrontation goes a long way to solving the problem. I don tiya to talk self.
Please can I have your contact?, thanks , by the way I am poster 3
DeleteTruth be told poster3, your chronicles is very annoying. Stella no be only make her a family friend. What does that man think he is that he will marry someone's child and start making a mess of her life with one stupid ex. Your hubby is lucky that is not me he got married to. Both him and his ex will sleep and not see the light of the day. What rubbish!!! If they were still in love why didn't dey marry? No be only Genotype na Lassa fever. Adults like them dated for a whole 8yrs and didn't know the implication of what dey got themselves into.
ReplyDeleteSo if he can't get over her why then did he trouble you by getting married to you. You are quiet sha.... you try. I don't even want to listen to that excuse of them loving each other for 8yrs. That is total rubbish. Let's just stop justifying what is wrong. Woman better wise up and starting fixing your home. Threaten him that you are breaking up the marriage he will wake up. If you guys did court wedding, just fill a law suit against him and his ex for emotional damages. Try to gather as much evidence as you can.
women need to start knowing their worth. By the time a man goes through court 3 times he will learn. That his money that is sharking him will not be there again.
Rubbish men with rubbish love and useless excuses all the time.
O shut up already. It's people like u who decieve women out of their homes while u stay put in ur dead relationships. If they sleep n don't wake up what ve u gained? How many people u fit kill b4 u find that perfect man? Didn't d poster notice d closeness btw d both of them b4 she shook head put? Y didn't she reject his proposal when she knew she cnt cope? Stupid woman thinking they smart yet cant even see beyond their noses. Yes that's who u re.
DeleteTessbaby, you sound like a fool, if u even see me you won't be able to talk, I am a graduate, with a master degree from an international school, a good job , baby I had many men dying over me, I wasn't desperate, n I fell Inlove with my husband , I married him because of love and nothing else , and moreover I fought them b4 we got married, he told me they had stopped communications until recent events., so shut up and quit acting like you know the whole story bitch, I pray that should happen to u too goat
DeletePoster 1: u get small long throat true true. U want him to spend on u yet u don't want to open up ni? Hian!!! Stand on ur celibacy and let him go.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: u'll find ur own man. That guy is not for u
Poster 3: ur hubby still loves his ex and will do anything for her. Leave them, and make him jealous too. Start talking to a cousin and make him think u guys r close but he shouldn't know that he's ur cousin. Watch him stop
@ Post 1 pls get a real born again christian, dat's wat fit you u
ReplyDeletePost 2, reduce d standard u want from a man, why didn't u suprise d guy by making Poundo yam, Poundo yam is made like Semo nahhh u don't need to pound it, d guy may b pulling yur legs though
Post 3, pray n pray, pray hard u should only mk d lady a family Fiend when she's married, pls don't invite her to your hus, she's already a stalking Ex
Stella, please when is the next singles and mingles? All this relationship talk is highlighting my own singledom. I hope men in Canada will participate in the next one oh, because I am tired of this life.
ReplyDeleteStella, please when is the next singles and mingles? All this relationship talk is highlighting my own singledom. I hope men in Canada will participate in the next one oh, because I am tired of this life.
ReplyDeleteit is well oooooo
ReplyDeletePoster one, I really pity your life. What do you think you're doing? You don't want to sleep with a man and yet you're sucking his dick. Doing dirty things with a man that you are not sure of. I think you're a very stupid and useless being. God will never forgive you desperado.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 u sound like a serious nag and u also sound proud
ReplyDeleteStella, let me attempt to answer your question:
ReplyDelete"Why do women always think men should spend on them in a relationship but when a man demands same,he is called names?he hasnt bought you airtime,have you bought him any?"
My answer does not apply in cases where the girls sees the man as the master provider. In my own opinion, a man that is not generous to you while you are dating will do the very same when you are married so get ready to be the provider of the family. Testing a man's generosity in a relationship is very very important. Not only does it show what he is capable of doing but it also shows how much he cares about you.
Trust me, this worked for me leading to marriage.
Weasel
Poster3 all I can tell you is make your husband your best friend, love and take care of him. They spent 8yrs loving and being friends so tearing them apart won't be easy but it can be done with time, patience, prayers and love. Make your home conducive for him, give him a reason to come home. You are just less than a year in marriage so you have a lot of work to do. Be sympathetic to their failed relationship and let him see this. Plus do not nag or force him to do anything. With time you will grow on each other with out him even knowing. God bless your home
ReplyDeleteThank you Hun, I appreciate this your advice n will apply it
DeleteThis is the best advice I have read here for poster 3. Pray it works for you.
DeleteP1 pls go and date a real born again, u need a dry relationship and u are getting everything dry. Any holy relationship can't be monetised. U have to quit finally cos he may soon lost control one day and try to force u to have s*x against ur wish.
ReplyDeletePoster 3. Help her fast n pray let her a man that will sweep her off her feet come her way.
ReplyDeleteSo it is OK for women to visit and ask for pizza, ice cream, Andre not even malt in a etc, But when a man ask for pounded Yam it becomes a crime. You will remain single. Oloshi
ReplyDeleteThe man sabi pound? Why is he asking for it? Or aren't you aware of the time and strength to prepare it when did she become a slave oh because she wants to marry she must inconvenience herself indeed you better marry a village girl
DeleteThe poster portrays herself as well to do, if she can't buy pounded Yam processing machine(30k) she can afford Yam flour. Don't be naive and ignorant, technology has made life easy
DeleteKai Sterra, I feel like jumping on you I swear.
ReplyDeleteInvite her because?
I know people like her. Very devious.
8 years aint no joke but then when such shii happens, you learn how to move on. If they meant business, the guy wouldnt have gotten married to the poster while she's still latching on to someone else's dick like a keloid. They would have stuck together. Bastards.
I always tell my nigga that if nature decides to take its course, He should stay the fuck away from me. We would talk but not to this poster's extent.
That's wickedness. Just making the lady insecure.
That's how she'd start losing her self esteem.
Poster, I hardly give advice on this post so do not take this with a pinch of salt.
Ignore your husband. Turn a blind eye.
If you make her your bestie, it would make you more curious to know if they still talk. Believe me.
Talk about it for the last time and keep mum if he doesnt cut off that leech.
Get yourself busy. Read comments. Google old posts and laugh your ass off.
Pray hard also. I bet you, you would see God's wonders.
Poster 3.
ReplyDeletethough for me as a man i dont do ex.thing when ever am into
new relationship till even in marriage but your husband own and his ex.is very much
complicated to be having pity on her and also supporting her till she find a man
but no to sex.and you should stop nagging about it to him just if you dont
want to push him to that his ex.comforting him by ur nagging and you know next'
but warn him about sex with her and is only thing that will break you with him.
pray for wisdom of GOD
I love your reply cos it's very true.
ReplyDeleteI'm goin tru d same thing with my bf. He insists on communicating wit his ex.she calls him weneva she likes nd wen I picked her call 2 nuts ago, she sd who gave u d right to pick his calls. I discussed wit my bf nd tried to make him see reasons why dey shd stop communicating nd he sd "who the fuck are u to tell me who to talk to". Was dumbfounded. Anyway, at least his words hv made me understand his true feelings towards our relationship. Men r just dogs
ReplyDeleteHmm oga o
ReplyDelete@ Anon-15:51.....why u hide under anonymous !,..Just wait..Your own chronicle go be hit back to back. Oloshi,, Maa sha faani!!(yoruba)
ReplyDeleteMy hubby was always coming to the rescue of his ex n long time females friends. I complained n nagged, all I hear was promise of stopping. He will stop n continue, later the stop when I made him realize they were using him. It not easy. Men thinking they can do things and get away from it. Use emotional blackmail.
ReplyDeleteAll these people without problems think they have problems. smh
ReplyDeletepremarital sex is a sin before God, its not easy abstaining but we can try. i am trying and suggest we all do and trust God to provide us our spouses. Chei can wait to be married and really exploit my sexual desires.Hubby wherever you are u better get readyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. I'm never tire never tired( In beyonce's voice)
ReplyDeletePoster 1 2 3 u already know the answer to your questions so fix it
dear stella, no talk that one o, to give man money, them go turn you to shop , am tellin g you .
ReplyDeleteThe only person I have an advice for is poster 3. My dear, I understand what you are going through. Your hubby has to detach himself from his ex because she belong to his past and should remain there. Since he doesn't want to do that, you have to create an impression that u are also in contact with ur "Ex". Make urself happy, chat with ur phone always as if u are chatting with a guy, laugh freely when u read messages on ur phone and make him to wonder what is happening. Hide to answer some calls even if they are from females. Look good, stop nagging him, be good to him. Just pretend as if u have a guy in ur world. The whole idea is to make him jealous and to make him believe that you have another man in ur life. With all these, he will come crawling back to u begging. Men hate other men competing with them over their wives. Good luck!
ReplyDelete