Hmmm...why is love so complicated?I tire!!!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
WHEN THE EX DOESN'T WANT TO LET GO
Thanks Stella for this platform. I will just go straight to the point.
My boyfriend dated a girl back when they were in School but during their relationship, this girl cheated on him several times but he loved her and still forgave her afterwards. She ended the relationship and got married to another guy but still, it broke his heart that he got so ill.
The girl made an impact in his life because his dad died when he was pretty young. Most clothes he wore in school were bought by this girl.
To cut long story short, she left him and he tried to move on but he was unable to. He found love everywhere but didn't seem to notice any. He tried to date again but couldn't because he kept comparing each girl to his ex -girlfriend. He felt no girl deserved his love but her until he met me.
We became friends and we were open to each other.
We talked about everything. I was in a relationship but he started asking me out, he kept on pushing. I told him I do not cheat when I'm in a relationship but I was in a really bad relationship that always made me so sad. I eventually broke up with the guy I was dating and decided to give him a try.
I have never been happier. We are best of friends. He is proud of me everywhere he goes and has told his family about me. I know all of his family members and he knows all of my siblings. The relationship is really going smooth and he has decided to come see my parents on Sunday.
Now the issue is his ex, that is married and pregnant, has refused to let my boyfriend be. He has blocked her on all social media, stopped picking her calls but she keeps disturbing him. She called his younger brother to ask about him and she said she won't suffer and let another girl enjoy him.
I met my boyfriend when he had nothing. She bought him stuffs and helped him financially doesn't mean she owns him. We have done several businesses together and we have been a team ever since. We have sworn an oath never to leave each other and so to a large extent, I trust him.
But my problem is I hate drama and I will be getting married to him soonest but the lady that is pregnant and also married hasn't stopped disturbing him and remember, ''a pussy once entered can be entered again''.
My point is I wanted to send her a message on her Facebook inbox politely telling her to leave him but I feel it might cause trouble. I dont want to enter a marriage that i'll always be on my toe when I'm about to take the next step. My boyfriend isn't safe around this lady and I don't want them to ever hook up.
Sorry for the long write up. Please Stella, how do you want me to take care of this situation? BVs please I love this guy so much. What should I do? How should I go about it because he has warned the girl several times in my presence but she doesn't seem to listen.
Please Stella, i'm in dire need of your red pen and the comment of my fellow BVs. CHEERS.
You said you trust him so why are you shaking and quoting Okafor's law stating the theory of holes?LOL
So your ex can re-enter your hole?
My dear what are you even trying to prevent?let your boyfriend or husband to be fight his battle.LET THEM MEET and see what happens..if he falls for her hole again then you know,if he doesn't then you know...but i do not advise you to send any polite mail warning her abeg you.
There must be something tying them together,maybe they also took an ''oath''
Abeg I know one should trust in God but tie their 'goat',however there are some things you need to sit back and watch unfold....Make sure he sorts this out before you marry him.....He is ignoring her messages becos he is in love with you but what is tying them together that she isnt going away?Let him deal with that ISH.
Just make your stand known that you wont deal if he deals.
LEBOO STALLING THE WEDDING
Good day Stella.
Thanks for your good work/advices. God will continue to bless you immensely and give you more grace IJN. Amen. God bless Sdkers too.
Please , I need your red pen and BVs to advice me on something that has been eating me up and depressing me lately.
My name is Lady A from Anambra State (not real name) and I have been dating Mr B, from Abia state, for the past 3 years now. We both met in Abuja.
However, we got engaged sometime in May 2014 and we did our introduction that same year but I have been expecting him to come do the traditional wedding since two years ago. He collected the list for traditional ceremony on the introduction day but he has not been forthcoming which pushed me to always ask him what's up but what I keep hearing from him is ''very soon''.
It's not that money is the issue here,neither is my past because everyone obviously have that. He just keeps saying I should have patience and pray for him. Meanwhile, the guy in question is 41 years old plus and has never been married and I just clocked 30. The truth of the matter is I wouldn't want to lose this guy because he's kind of God fearing, very nice, cares for me a lot and assists me in any way I ask him till date. I am a civil servant by the way.
My main problem is he doesn't seem to be forthcoming and it's not as if we don't have sex which is beginning to make me think he wants me to get pregnant first (I don't live with him. I just visit him at will). We have quarelled and kept malice several times sometimes for weeks and months over this marriage issue but I'm still with him even as I type this epistle.
I need advice on what to do because thinking about it is beginning to weigh me down on a daily basis. I don't really keep friends but my pals and sisters have advised me to try and forget about the relationship and move on and that I will get to meet another serious person (like it's easy) but it always falls on deaf ears because I forsee and have a strong feeling that we would make a good couple by God's grace.
I always tell myself if I see another person, I will leave him but the truth is, it doesn't seem easy for me to start all over.
Just in a confused state. Biko help a sister out.
Just in a confused state. Biko help a sister out.
Thanks and hide my email I.D please. Expecting to see the chronicle.
He collected list two years ago and you have quarelled and tried everything and still he doesnt seem to be forthcoming?You know what girl?Time to cross your two legs and pretend to be a mermaid!
You have made this all so easy maybe,giving him the wifey things without him bothering about going further.Stop some of the things you spoil him with...like giving booty and attention...stop visiting him too and see if all these works.
If it doesnt then you guys were never meant to be....
2years is a long time to be engaged and list collected and at his age if he isnt bothered then something is wrong.
My dear good luck,i have said my bit but i might be wrong.lets read what others might have to say about this....