STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
RUNS FRIEND ABOUT TO BECOME DAUGHTER'S MOTHER IN LAW
Stella, please permit me to run this chronicle past your BV’s whom I find are mostly youths. Perhaps I can find some answers or advice here. I read your blog every now and then. It helps me to know the workings of the minds of the youths of today. This is my chronicle:-
I had a friend in school through secondary and University days in the East. We became very friendly as undergrads. She was very funny, jovial but was badT. She did everything bad-from sleeping with lecturers for marks, to dating married men, several abortions-she was a party freak.
My mum never liked her, warned me several times and people used to wonder how both of us could be friends. I was the quiet, good girl, study always type. But she used to say that if she wanted to hear the truth, she knew she could always turn to me and that having me as her friend was the best thing she could have. Anyway we graduated. And went our separate ways.
Fast forward to some odd twenty five plus years later, I bumped into her at a Mall in Georgia, U.S.A. We both screamed and hugged ourselves. My daughter was with me on that day-due to soon start her Masters’ degree at a University in Georgia. My friend and I caught up on lost times. She told me she had 3 sons. All living in the U.S. She also lived there though she came to Nigeria once in a while.
I told her this was my only daughter-She spoke with my daughter for a while, noting that I had such a beautiful, fashionable daughter, teasing her that her mother was a plain Jane in school. We laughed and chatted for a long time, just generally asking about who’s where and what’s going on in Nigeria. We parted, promising to keep in touch. I came back to Nigeria.
A few months later, my daughter calls me and shyly on the phone asks me about my friend and if I had heard from her? I said no. Long story short, I found out my friend had one day called my daughter up and somehow got her introduced to her first son. From there, one thing led to another. Now my daughter seems to have fallen in love with her son and wants to marry him. I wasn’t (am not) happy about this. I never imagined that my daughter would end up with someone like this my friend as a mother-in-law. Not only did I know her dark dirty secrets from school days, I know she doesn’t really have much regard for the values of marriage.
How would she keep them both together when the storms of marriage begin? I wasn’t really surprised when I learnt from my daughter that her 3 sons were for 3 different men! Back then in school days, she was staying with her aunt and was arranging girls for her aunts’ husband behind her aunts’ back for monetary gains. These were all the things I would speak sharply to her about as a friend. To now think she would end up as my only daughters’ mother-in-law. I couldn’t stomach it. I felt she took advantage of our meeting and deliberately threw my daughter in the line of meeting her son- mischievous things she was quite capable of doing. I didn’t like it one bit.
I don’t think she would even see anything wrong in her son having extra marital affairs. But I couldn’t tell my daughter all this info. Instead, I tried hard to discourage my daughter but the more I tried, the more stubborn my daughter became.
The son came down to Nigeria to plead with my husband and I to allow him marry our daughter. He couldn’t understand our disposition. He and my daughter have concluded that I couldn’t have been a true friend to his mother- that I was only pretending to be. He is hurt. So is my daughter. Things have gone very cold between my friend and I since she sensed that I wasn’t favourably disposed to her son marrying my daughter.
I don’t want my daughter to end up in her family. I know my friend very well. In spite of her being friendly, she also has a very troublesome, overbearing nature. Eventually she’ll become a monster-in-law. I see it happening. Stella’s BV’s, am I wrong? Am I being judgemental? I can’t ever tell my daughter – (by proxy, her boyfriend)- all what I know. I ran background checks on the guy and he seems to be a good person- tall, good build, very comfortable ( I could see why my daughter fell for him), but a little bit timid-and overly respectful.
Which makes me fear that he may not be able to handle his mum’s excesses. My info sources told me there were paternity and trust issues which made his father quit the scene ever since he was young. So there’s not likely to be a father-in law presence.
I don’t want my daughter with his mother. How do I even relate to her as an in- law knowing all the things she did back then? I can’t even trust her and she doesn’t seem to have changed very much. How will my daughter cope with this kind of mother-in law?? I’m just so perplexed at this point.
*Find out if your daughter is already sleeping with him.
Find out if she is pregnant.
Find out all you need to know and then if it still reads red,then do everything possible to end it.
Your former friend might be bad but looking to settle her sons with good girls and she jumped at the opportunity seeing your daughter.Its possible that you are using her past to Judge her....but like i said,do your checks and end what needs to be ended abeg!
You left it too late and at this point your daughter will not believe whatever you tell her anymore.