Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

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Saturday, 6 August 2016

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

what!!!!!!








 NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE.

MARRIED TO A MAN WHO IS LIVING SINGLE
Hello Stella, thanks for the platform you have created for people to reach out. I am a BV but I always comment as anonymous, so I will appreciate that you please hide my ID.

I don't know if this qualifies as a chronicle, but I need I advice and ideas, on how to go on.

I got married in 2010, to a man I thought was my best friend. Financially we were somehow equal, though my job paid higher than his. I let him live the life he wanted, I don't bug him, I don't nag, I don't ask for anything because I have a good job. 

Now people are blaming me, they feel I gave him too much freedom and that's why things became so bad. 

He made money and things changed. I realized that he hates everything about being married and being a father. He doesn't wear a ring, he hangs out with friends and comes home late at night, EVERYDAY. 


Friends of girlfriends have come to me, acquaintances have asked me to caution him, but he doesn't listen to anyone. He womanizes no doubt, but I hate the fact that everyone knows he does. I know men who cheat, but you will never know until you "catch them" red handed. His own is so pronounced that people now pity me. 

What hurts me most is the fact that he doesn't even have time for the children God has blessed us with. He enjoys living life like a single man. His girlfriends chat him up at past midnight, and from the content of the BBM message, they don't know he is married. I look very good. I work out, I dress well and people tell me always that I don't look like a woman with three kids.

Now I'm trapped in a loveless marriage and it's depressing. I want to leave but everybody says I should stay for my kids sake; because I come from a broken home also. But I feel it's better not to have a bag than to have one with a big hole in it. 


I need advice on what to do and how to get over this depressing feelings. What I know for sure is that I can't continue living like this, I am only 33 years old.


*ah ah,what is all this?Is this a marriage?WOW


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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO

CO- BUYING WITH YOUR SPOUSE ISH

Good day Stella. I don't know if this falls into a chronicle, but I need a second opionin and advice. 

I am newly married (7months now). Generally things are fine and going well. I am am currently jobless (searching for a job, submitted applications here and there). My husband and I are planning on buying a car this year as we need one. I have savings which is more than half of the amount for the car, and my husband is working and bringing the other balance. 

Now my worried are: 
1. I don't feel too comfortable contributing all my savings towards this project. I feel  every woman should have money stashed somewhere,' just in case'. I do not want to be completely broke, which I will be , if I contribute all I have(considering I don't have a job for now).

2. My second worry is whose name will be in the papers. I discussed this with my husband and he said his name, cos its a family car lol. I refused, I suggested my name, considering that I will be bringing more than half, at the very least both our names should be in the papers.

3. Stella I am so confused, I am considering reducing the amount I agreed to bring to less than half, as this will enable me to still have some cash for rainy days. I really don't want to get broke.

PS: my family will never be in support of me combining my money with his to buy/do anything( reason is a long story for another day), so I can't discuss this with them. I plan on telling him that my mother requested for a loan which I have to give her to avoid contributing all. 

Am I doing the right thing or being selfish?, especially since its the both of us that will drive the car? 
Pls use your red pen, I need experience advice. 

Thanks. 


*Are you a learner?you should never ever let your man know how much you have in your account my dear..some of them always want it and when you refuse na wahala.
And please do not give him all you have,you need money stashed away for a rainy day like you rightly thought.....You dont need to use your mum to lie,just tell him you didnt check well,that you dont have as much as you thought you had......I dont know about names being on the paper but everything my hubby buys even with his own money has my name as well...thats how it is done here so i cannot advice you on that but please save for a rainy day and avoid the stage where you have to beg for money for sanitary towel from him..ITS DEGRADING!


146 comments:

Miss Blackie said...

I read the chronicle of Friday, regarding the man who wants to settle with his ex wife's sister (ex inlaw). He sought our advise and lots of people told him to go ahead. There were some salient points raised, and I will like to point them out.



Please note that in his narration, while he financially helped his ex wife's sister through school, set up a good business for her, he did all these from a pure mind without having sexual intentions with her. He was able to do all these because she was like a sister to him. They both did not nurse sexual feelings during this period.



But when things changed for him, the dwindling  business and the wife who left, what his ex wife's sister did was what an understanding human being can do to another hunan on a platonic level. His wife left him, he because a shadow of himself, things failed woefully for him. His ex wife's sister came around and offered solace. The solace she offered can be offered without sexual feelings. The saying "a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on" has never been more true. This is simply what happened in this case. What the sister did to him, how she cared and stood there for him is what someone can do without nursing sexual feelings for the person. The moment you guys began to have sex was where you both missed it.



How do you intend to marry her without bringing confusion into the family? Should she bear you kids, what relationship will exist between her kids and her sisters kids? Half-blood brother nephew? Your family, her family and generations to come will never stop trying to examine the relationship.



Sincerely speaking, the best you can do is leave her, let her find a man who wasn't married to her sister. What she did for you could have been done out of humanity, without nursing sexual feelings. You wouldn't approve if your ex wife wanted to marry your younger brother.



Love is simple and not confusing. But the love you have for her is confused and not simple (if it was simple, you wouldn't have come to seek our advise). The love you have for her can cause rifts (your family, her family, generations to come will never stop trying to unravel the relationship. It can even severe internal family relationship). If your love was meant to be, it would not be this complicated. Please leave her to find a man with less drama. You should equally find a lady who was not once your in law.

Anonymous said...

TO POSTER 2 AND STELLA AND LADIES WHO BELIEVE IN "MY MONEY"

THE ISSUE HERE IS "TRUST"

When one says "spouse" one is talking about "life partner"; husband or wife. If one has chosen above (all men or) ladies to live with "this fellow' as a life partner in love; then love is all about sharing. When one say "my husband's money" or "my money" is it not an anomaly? when one shares everything intimate (including sex); if they can't have funds together; where is the oneness? Hasn't the aim of marriage been defeated? The issue of oneness is in sharing everything. The excuses many give is "I don't trust her to know how much I earn or am worth". If one is a follower of Christ; who did Jesus give "his wallet"; was it not Judas? How much trust did Jesus have for Judas? These are some of the issues that intending spouses should define in courtship.
On a personal note; my husband and I had a common "account" from the moment I accepted to marry him. He decided to put me in charge of every financial spending. He makes contributions and there is no issues about that. There is no account that we have had since marriage that bears one person's name and the mandate is "either to sign". WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT "HIS MONEY" "MY MONEY" hasn't the purpose of marriage been defeated?
Finances usually breeds quarrel among couples and the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Married for more than a decade an NEVER ARGUED is our testimony by the grace of God. When there is concealment of finances, the lady makes demands, suspect the husband of keeping a concubine etc. But when the two are open to each other in the way described above; thee will be no room for mutual suspicion!

A couple we know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.

Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)

Lepa shandy is back said...

Poster 1, leave that fuckernizer.
Poster 2), you dey craze? Contribute to what again?😳😳😳 Receive sense IJN!

em jay said...

Poster1, if you can't stand the heat leave the kitchen.
Poster2, in short tell him you borrowed your mum almost everything, don't contribute 1kobo, because sometin tells me, ur hubby just want to you as the newbie that you is.

Atheist. said...

Poster1: Theres no way u didnt see him for who he was before saying yes to his proposal, or you also jumped in blindly? even if he was pretending, such a person cant pretend for long, nobody on this blog can help u change him oh, just rant here freely & go back n carry ur cross, its for better for worse!

Poster2: I agree with ur saving abit for hairy days, but does it matter whose name is on it?? its not a landed property jo, hes ur husband, the man of the house, give him that respect & hide his ass abit ah ah.... besides hes also contributing, when police stops him 2mr on the road now, you'd xpect him to challenge & talk back abi? cus hes the man, yet a mere name on the car document is a problem.

TheonGreyjoy: Kill me.
Ramsey: A little louder.
Kill me!
RamseyBolton: You're no good to me dead, we need you.
You don't look like a Theon Greyjoy anymore.
That's a name for a lord but you're not a lord, are you?
You're just meat.
Stinking meat, you reek..... Reek!
That's a good name for you.
What's your name? Theon Greyjoy.
What's your name? Th... Theon Greyjoy, Please.
What is your name?!
TheonGreyjoy: Reek.
My name is... Reek.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Everything I typed just disappeared!...I forgot to copy first before publishing...
Its so annoying!,,.

Poster,
Don't leave oh!...ignore him and get a side bobo!...
He should continue living his life while you live yours...

Poster 2,
Mugu!...
It is a mans responsibility to buy a car for the family not you putting your hard earned money in it...
Your husband should be man enough to buy a car for you biko...
Inukwa akuko!...
You are newly married and you don't know some of these men...keep your money for yourself and use it to start a petty business...

Pink shell said...

Poster1
I tink its very wrong to blame ursef for a grown man's attitude.
If he decideds to disrespect u outside it az nothing to do with how u look.

Maybe u shld lose ur ring too.
And stop checking his chat logs with his numerous gfs(its confirmed dat he is cheating).
Enjoy d company of ur kids.
Let him av his freedom as much as he wants.
Use a condom.
Eat icecream
Wear a fitted dress sometimes, use a red lipstick n wear some heels(if u can walk on one)....what I mean is enjoy life.
The mistake has been madeπŸ˜•.

Anonymous said...

Poster one:

did anyone make the decision to marry this man for you? Why do you want folks to tell you to leave? Have you fasted and prayed about this?

LOVE NEVER FAILS: I learnt this here and it has helped my marriage so much.

A lady colleague came back from work unexpectedly before time one day and found her husband on top of another lady in their shared bedroom (at that point the man had driven her to be sleeping in the guest room). She greeted them and left . . . called back at work and excused herself. She went to the kitchen brought out food and served them lunch in the dinning table and told the husband with a smile that "lunch was ready for him and his guest" (the man hadn't eaten her meal for months). The nude lady (now dressed) bust out in tears. She asked the man; it this your wife you told me was a she devil? Oh God please forgive me and help me to be like this lady . . . the man's wife wiped her tears and embraced her and she left. The husband was so ashamed and remorseful and pleaded with her not to leave. She looked at him and said "J. . .(his name), if I were to leave, I would have left you since but I love you . . ."
Romans chapter twelve: 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20Therefore
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
If he is thirsty, give him a drink;
For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”
21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Anonymous said...

Stella your red ink nailed it.ka chi foo.

Tuscany said...

P2
And now u wanna dodge abi
2mrw if he has money and buys everything in his name you will be vexing.
Use your mind and dont even listen to anyone cos they will advise you to do things they dont do.
Tell him u cant use all ur savings to buy a car (car is a liabilty not and investment). Let him decide whos name is gonna be on the car.
For me, let him put his name on the car and when you wanna buy land, ensure ur name is on that instead. That way u can state u let him put his name on the car and now he has 2 return the favor.
But wait ooo...why marry someone you have doubt about really? Seems u dont totally trust him.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Infact,poster 2,
Follow Stella's advise...

CHI EXOTIC CHI EXOTIC said...

Poster 1,is so young and going through all this bullshit all in the name of marriage.
Guess people that are advising you to stay don't know what you're passing through.
Madam divorce that man and be liberated.
Poster2,don't be naive abeg
See husband and wife contributing money to buy car,funny something.

HR BABE said...

Jist one..

HIAN!!!! what is all these naaaaa? My sister it is well ohh... soak his name into a bottle of anoiting oil and pray for him too...

jist 2

This one that you and ur husband are arguing about whose name should be on the particulars of the car at these early stage?????? Pls dont give him all ur money ohhhh.......

ooooohhhhhh Aunty stella when will the trumpet sound naaaaa

Rocky said...

Wow..
Poster 1; You should leave that bondage of a marriage soonest! How can you be 'living' with that of a person who doesn't acknowledge you exist??? P
From your narrative, you are financially capable to cater for yourself and your children, so I don't see any reason why you should keep cohabiting with that person. If the problem is your children, believe me, they would understand you and know you are making the best decision for them!

Poster two;
I don't see anything wrong with you buying a car with your husband for yourselves!

Would have typed more but this Cost Accounting is killing me.. Arrghh!
Who wee teach me for free😒😒

Anonymous said...

All our properties r in my dad's name, my mom is his next of kin, I asked my mom if she isn't worried that her name is not on any document, she said it has never been a problem to her,she doesn't even care, she drives any car she likes, she is in control, my dad is just there supporting her every move,im 30yrs now,soon to marry n names on document is d least of my concern.

Oscar Moses said...

Poster one, I hate it when a spouse cheats and flaunt it openly without fear or respect for their partners and people around. Ur husband doesn't love or respect you at all. U give him too much respect and that's why u are scared of confronting him. He has really degraded u emotionally and mentally. I think he should be seriously confronted by u.Dear poster, A CLOSED MOUTH IS A CLOSED DESTINY.

Poster two, ur level of insecurity and lack of trust for ur husband is too much for ur new marriage. Dont allow what you read on blogs, see on TV and read on SM be a yardstick to how u do things in ur marriage.
Support ur husband and buy the car, he will never feel he own it alone. I hate it lack of trust, why not give him some evidence of doubt.

Anonymous said...

Poster one, get a sideboo or quit complaining since u don't wanna leave cos war room won't work.

Tush baby said...

With all these chronicles I get scared of getting married. Poster car is a necessity and I advice u to contribute but not all ur money bc u will go broke and be at the mercy of ur Dh secondly stop letting him know ur account balance. Poster 1 find a Bible believing church to deliver ur horseband it is well.

Pink shell said...

Lmao @ poster 2's whose name wld be written on it.
Since u are already tinking in dat line....I advice u not to contribute at all.
Cos it wld put a strain in ur marriage, u wld nag d man tire over any lil tin, u wont rest oo, infact ur husband wont do anytin right in ur eyes agen, n e wld be at d receiving end.
Just tell him u are tinking of starting a biz to stall for time.hopefully he wld balance d money himself.


Anonymous said...

Poster two don't worry, what goes around comes around.

Anonymous said...

If you're married and getting it right, good for you. If on the other hand you're living in hell? Pray to God or leave. The primary evil in this society (ok, part of it) is the pressure to get married. A mistake in marrying the wrong person can cost you money, time and ultimately your life. When I mean life, while this happens, there are worse things than loosing your life. Loosing yourself and worth all because you married the prince who turned out to be a frog or the Mary Amaka that turned to Jezebel. If you're single, for the love of God...never, ever get married because of pressure,age,children or for love. You heard me..Love (Phileo not agape) is the lie that has imprisoned a lot of people in a hell they call marriage. Be selfish when you want to get married, think of yourself first. It's better not to make a choice than to make a wrong one. Marriage is the wine you drink from a glass that you can't spit back. You swallow it, bitter or sweet. I pray to God everyday for better.

Cissy said...

#Walda Bolton: Where is Lord Bolton?
Ramsay Bolton: I am Lord Bolton?
Walda Bolton: [She realizes what he has done and what he is about to do, swallows and looks at her wailing child] Ramsey. Ramsey, please. I'll leave Winterfell. I'll go back to the Riverlands. Please! Ramsey. He's your brother.
Ramsay Bolton: I prefer being an only child.
[whistles]...

PLATINUM said...

Poster one, u hv two options, either leave or pretend ur a single mother. Like, forget him, live for ursef n ur kids, i bet u he will come around, it might take some time, bt wen he eventually does, Set new rules.
Poster two:ur hubby is trying to play games with u. The moment u dnt hv money anymore, the little respect he has for u will be gone. That is wen u will see his bad sides wen u hv to depend on him for everything. Next time dont tell him how much u earn, how much u hv said, how much anything. Dont even be like poster one trying to be independent n not asking him for money. No matter how little ur man earns, task him for money.

Honi-Mumi. med lab scientist (ikoyi)08033555673 said...

P2 u better use ur money to buy land or start biz. Car no be investment o. And na oga go drive am pass. Bcos he"ll ask u where u wan drive go since u don't hv a job yet. He go also use am carry babe. Give urself brain o

Rocky said...

I'm waiting for Cindy Abi is it Cassie?.. Oya come and give us your own

Rocky said...

Chop kiss😘😘😘

mk said...

With all the stories we hear poster two is still a learner?

Rocky said...

And what if there's no love again? πŸ˜•πŸ˜•

IVORY said...

What I'm gonna say to poster 2 is that,your priorities are misplaced. You're jobless and the money you have is to buy a car? Your husband cant even afford total cost,you wanna clear your account so that you go follow answer ppl wey get car? You better use that money to start a business that will yield and not a car. If one of you cannot independently buy a car without drying your accounts,then you're not ready for it.



Stella, inasmuch as I don't agree with his name being on the papers since she's bringing d bulk of the money,your advice was a bit selfish honey. There are some properties that should be bought in the kids name,the couple's name,and individual names. He buys all the properties in your name,you buy yours and still put in your name,are you obiageli? Lolzzz. C'mon the man has got to have something in his name since he worked for it.

Anonymous said...

Good work dear, keep it up

jumiakindipe said...

Thanks. We keep a joint acct in my house. My hubby uses his salary to pay bills which is alot due to the high standard we keep. Then i use mine for holidays, investment etc. We can dip in as we like but ofcourse reasonably. If you have a reasonable hubby. You should suggest a joint account. Its the best. No angry party

Mrs. Romas said...

Poster 1. Talk to your husband, i think your marriage lacks communication. How do you allow your husband to do whatever he likes?
Please women whether you are feminist or not, learn to ask your husbands for money. Yes, my husband takes care of all my needs because is his duty. My marriage is based on Christians doctrines.

Is in the nature of man to take care of a woman and is in the nature of woman to be pampered. (Biblical)God Almighty created us that way and no man made law can change that.
Please talk to your husband and make sure you use protection when you make love, since he's a womanizer. Just to be on the safer side health wise. If the house you both live in with your kids is owned by him, don't leave! He should rather leave because that is where you will take care of your kids. Please concentrate on your lovely kids and take good care of them.

Good Samaritan young wife, please don't buy car with your husband. He should be the one buying the cars; not asking you for money to buy car even though is part of the amount needed. Men of nowadays, are not ashamed of themselves; no wonder they are being insulted daily by women.
How can your husband ask you to contribute to buy a family first car? He's even aware you're not working. So, he want to empty your account!
Why did you even let him know how much you have in your account? My dear, you are a woman and that little money in your account will be useful to you someday, and also you should be the one collecting money from him to add to your savings.
Whatever you are buying should always be in your name because you are the wife of the house.

orela said...

Poster..2 you are jobless..and you wanna contribute to buy a car...is the car for taxi bussiness?
My dear go and set up a bussiness first with that money,earn some cash..then if you decide to use the earnings to buy a car in your husbands name that's your bis (I'm not in any position to tell you what to do as regards that) but at least if any thing bad comes out of that car issue you still have an investment. .
Car is not a luxury I know..but for a jobless lady who has some money stashed away..buying a car in someone else's name even if he is your husband is foolishness.
If you have a job..and decide to invest that money for a car in your husband name..I would say go ahead sef cos you may be rich enough to gift him a car.

Poster 1..I Don tire to talk for marriage issues like this...reading your story made bile regurgitate in mouth...I honestly don't know what you should do...but if you opt for divorce on the ground of adultery that's tenable before God..

Abeg...I just tire for matters of the heart...

Nb...If you are still single .Please enjoy it to the fullest..Wether as a good or bad person as defined by the norm..just be happy ..cos marriage is a wrapped gift. .you only know what lies in when it's opened. .Some are good some are bad..above all for those who believe in God..put him first.



My crazy alter ego speaking....your husband no shame sef..He wants to own a car that half of the money is not from him sef...He is even hiding behind family car. .why didint he say it's a family car and it should be in your name...He expects ypu to drop your savings knowing you are jobless ..but he thay has a job is not ready to contribute to buy the car in your name.
Is he scared you would run away with the car?
See poverty mentality.

jumiakindipe said...

Have a side boo. Simple

Empress CHO said...

Poster 2: Are you alright???
You are jobless, and you want to bring out your savings to buy a car. Stop that rubbish immediately.
Lemme paint a picture of what may happen, sorry it would come out ugly...

See eh, when you give up your brain and savings to buy that car, which is not an asset by the way, you will be happy, very happy.....

You two, will thank God for the new aquisition in a buharied economy on facebook,bbm, whatsapp....just some Nigerian gentle bragging things.
Then on sunday, you guys will drive it to church,you occupying the front seat with the windows rolled down of course. Then maybe, you will recall there are lots of relatives and friends you and your car have to visit. Your hubby will gladly go of course, it is a show off visit. You guys might even drop by at a fastfood, with you swinging the car keys and with a "single ladies, this is the life, bow down bitches" look.

Then a week later, your subscription finishes, and you look at that last alert where you transferred your life out. Then you run outside and stare at the car and say,okay, at least i get to sit in front. Then your menstrual flow tumbles out, and your stash of pads is exhausted, then no detergent, They bring bill when hubby is not around. Then that shiny aba sandal that will look good for evening service or to stroll to the market, you can't afford, then your weave gets too old, then a younger sibling or relative jokingly calls to ask for recharge card, then your soups look really watery coz an 500 naira okporoko would have complemented the meat in it better than the 50naira one you bought.

You become the honey, there is no this one, there is no that one...kinda wife. Then your hubby will always fuel the car and pose with it on facebook. The thirsty girls and exes begin to see how tush he looks in it and think money is kinda coming in. So they like his pictures, his posts, his comments, and they inbox, get his pin and no....then they bbm and whatsapp. And you, lol, you become the asking, non-contributing, nagging wife who do not even look flashy anymore. So he walks away with the selective amnesia and cheats, discreetly at first then all in your face. Front seat you no go see again.

You will be jobless, broke and stuck with bitterness with the man about town. Then finally, you will send an ugly chronicle here where people will rush in to comment with watch war room or knack pigeon coz frankly it's stupid to read.
Oh boy, i hope i didn't scare you much.

See,this pattern is very familiar. Your hubby knows what he is doing, watching you bring half of the money without an income stream to buy a car....a project that generates no income, interest. You are on your way to being a subdued wife... you know, that type, we single ladies see life drained outta them eyes and pray harder.

Keep your savings oh, things are getting tougher. Do not fall cheap mugu. Intensify your job search. Hop on the buses or taxis. Car will not disappear soon, so chill, time will come for it to be bought. Use your head oh. Pls, lots of Nigerian men are something else.
Thank God, you know everywoman needs a plan B. These days, there is a plan C...birth only as much as you can cater for alone. Do not in a bid to keep up kill your mystery and be thoroughly seen finish.

Anonymous said...

Narrative 1: Am happy you are young ang have a job. I suggest you start saving and making provision for the most important basics...Food, clothes and shelter for you and your kids. Some relationships need a little bit of space for the misbehaving spouse to appreciate what he/she has. In your own case your husband is a loose cannon now that he is making money but when he goes down you will be the one to clean up his message. Separation NOT divorce is always an option. Leave his house and take your kids before he starts the physical abuse. Now it's mental abuse which can also be deadly. Then he will either have a brain reset or come back when he is down and broke. Then reconciliation will be on your terms and conditions. God help you.
Narrative 2: Wonder what couples talk about during courtship? When you are more concerned about pre wedding photo shoot, aso ebi , wedding colours etc this is what you get. Why should you argue about whose nam should be on a property except the woman was also acquired like any other furniture. Have been married for over 15years and everything is bought and paid for in "Mr & Mrs"...Remember it's a lifetime commitment. We have a joint savings account cause divorce or separation is not an option in my marriage. When you act as ONE the you will remain ONE forever. Common car and you want to start world war 3. I have 7 cars and the only one registered in my wife's name is a gift which she intends changing back to ours. Lands, buildings and investments are all in both our names. Marriage is a lifetime commitment not a part time relationship.

chee said...

Story...puhlease

Empress CHO said...

Poster 1: So you do not want to leave because you are from a broken home and you do not want to repeat same. You somehow have no idea how much this affects you till you snap. This whole marriage thing you are doing is going to break you. Your husband's lifestyle is exposing you to a whole lot, as well as setting a bad example for your kids. They are growing, they feel things...soon they will hear and see.....and wonder at how toxic home and mummy has become. You need to seperate,if you are so scared of divorce. A desperate side-chick, scrap that, main chick is all it takes to end your chapter. There is no award or special recognition for Mrs in the after-life...

Conquer that fear & shame, leave and live!

Anonymous said...

The best advice so far concerning yesterday's chronicle.How Will this poster feel if the ex wife does same with his own brother,help can be reciprocated without sexual feelings.

Anonymous said...

My dear sister, transperancy and co-owning everything is definitely the ideal. But when u decern that your man wants to use you then you must be wise and be discrete.
The poster husband does not appear to be as selfless as he wants his wife to be. A man with a healthy sense of pride would never think of buying a property in his name when the wife is contributing half of the cost of the car. A man who appreciates his God-given role as the provider wouldn't feel comfortable doing that. The bible say a man be ready to lay down his live for his wife. In other words he should cultivate a self sacrificing spirit.

A husband with integrity would rather wait till he can afford one for his family or buy it in his wife's name if he must accept her contribution.

Anonymous said...

Very well said. God bless you. It's a complicated love.

Beauty Charles said...

Madam poster 2 u made a mistake u wouldn't have let your husband know u have 1 naira left alone money to contribute to buy car...big mistake. Am talking from experience I borrowed my husband 500k everything I had in my account up till date he refused paying back they prefer to see u penniless so you'd be at their mercy, I v learnt my lesson I don't even let him know I have 1 kobo, please be wise. 've been married for five years.

SteffySoFynSoFly said...

we know all men cheat, but i cant take it when he begins to flaunt it on my face mba, it goes to show he has no respect for you and his kids. we are gonna have serious issue sha, first i will tell him without mincing words. if he doesn't listen na to carry my two left legs waka comot. life isnt so complicated ooh we made it seem so complicated.its not by force to be with a man joor.

Jenny Ekwe said...

Hmmm....

Anonymous said...

Don't listen to this advice

Iyke Emma said...

Hmmmm, you made sense.

Anonymous said...

She said they want to buy a family car. I'm sure the man will not even allow her to drive it. You arr hobless and want to dash man the little you saved, mumux2

olaedo said...

I like your comment

Anonymous said...

Thats why Linda advised against marrying a broke ass

Misy queend said...

Poster One- Please borrow sense fro the Movie -WAR ROOM.
Poster Two- listen to what Stella said, it is better not to give up everything for rainy days.

Ibukunoluwa said...

I don't know why women will be going through shit in marriage and say people said I should stay cos of my kids!
Are the people living in the house with you?
Is it their marriage?!
Don't you have a mind of your own?
Yes a marriage should be about endurance but mehn no be this kind one
Continue to stay there bcos of people and continue wallowing in sadness
P2-if u try am ...e don set for u be that! U go see

Anonymous said...

So 'he is a man?' 'The man of the house??' So why doesn't he act like it an is waiting for his unemployed wife to give up her life savings so he can ride around doing Oga?

Rubbish.

Madam. ALWAYS keep a certain amount of money aside. It is not hiding it is wisdom.

Anonymous said...

If your husband is on social media, posts pictures of different people on interval and never posts yours, your husband is no different from poster number 2's husband. Just read and learn

Anonymous said...

You never ready to marry

CHERYL (aka FROM GLORY to GLORY) said...

God bless u for this comment.

Anonymous said...

You are in a medical field with this pattern of writing? Impossicant

Ibukunoluwa said...

I hate cost accounting ehn
Thank God say na minor we dey minor am

Ibukunoluwa said...

That is ur dad nah
He is a good man
Where u won find him type again with everything wey person dey read here these days

Robyn Fenty said...

It's risky. But i won't advise you to back off now. You have already committed yourself to it. But in the future if you are ever combining money it's better that both your names be on whatever you purchased. We can't tell the future it could be separation,divorce or death. His family will claim everything legally if your name isnt on the document. Nigeria isn't advanced like that west where in the case of death and there is no will, everything automatically goes to the wife. Here family have a right of claim. Please save money. Never ever rely on a man completely even if you are married and he is the father of your babies!!!! Their brain can like to touch.
In other news, Yaaaay I have finally created a blog ID. I am part of the family!!!! I come bearing gifts. πŸ˜†

Anonymous said...

Narrative 1:
Please stay strong, every marriage has its own issue.... Take time to have a chat with him, not a confrontation, tell him exactly what you wrote on this blog and let him understand how you feel. Men WILL always stray, but you have what it takes to bring him back, that same thing that made him propose. Share your concern, how he's failing to meet part of his responsibilities to you and his children... He will come around. I've been married for 15 years and i talk from experience. Patience is the key to any successful marriage.
Narrative 2:
I guess we ladies complain if our men don't come out true to us; we complain when we discover they lied; why are we advising her not to be open? Tell him, you can only give him what you can afford. He would be heartbroken when he discover that you lied. God will always stand for/by you even if he cheats you...

My opinions may not be popular but trust me, i speak with experience

Blossom said...

The typical African woman endures so much just to stay married. I don't know if we are wired that way or its as a result of our value system.poster,you have endured these times,the question is this,will you continue to endure till you get to a breaking point? The decision to stay or leave the loveless marriage lies totally with you.

Poster2: it's not bad to give your spouse more than half of the money cos marriage is about sacrifice but the some men are just not worth it. If your spouse hasn't given you any room to doubt him,you woudnt even have brought up this question here. You would have given him wholeheartedly but since you are thinking in this line,dont give him all. Keep some away for the raining day. If you lie about why you don't want to give him the earlier agreed amount,it may backfire on you and may cause a rift in your marriage so it's better you tell him the truth about why you woudnt want to give him all. All the best.

Anonymous said...

Same with me, I'm the next of kin, the show off, I don't know why I'm not bothered about names on property papers, a friend said if anything happens to hubby his family will swoop down, hubby told him not all families are greedy, besides they all well to do and the malice between 5 of them is unbreakable.

Anonymous said...

Don't mind the idiotic pair. He called her to celebrate and immediately she heard '150 million naira contract' she suddenly became 'tipsy' and slept with him. Greedy hoe. Do u think ur brother in law just decided to sponsor ur education without ur sister's intervention? And this is how u pay her back? Like someone said, there're some lines u just don't cross no matter the justification. Family is everything. That is where our loyalty should lie. Any woman that sees nothing wrong in sleeping with her sister's man, ex or not, is cursed! No matter what my sister does, even if she's a witch, i've got her back 100%. God forbid that I will choose to be loyal to one useless brother in law instead. We worry about friends stealing our men now sisters too?? Even more nauseating were the responses urging them on and applauding their 'beautiful love story.' To think that most of their supporters were fellow women is shocking.

Naija women, as long as u keep worshipping and Idoling these useless men, y'all will continue to be treated like filth.

Anonymous said...

When my dad died, surprisingly no family member gave us trouble, even the wicked uncle became an angel, he single handedly took care of d burial, advised my mom to sell off few properties n leave d ones she can handle,she did, I'm an only child n he sponsored me abroad. so sometimes this joint names on property as a sheild is really not necessary unless their is a hidden ulterior motive of which u can never tell when it would come up. But it's advisable.

Anonymous said...

Benefit of

Anonymous said...

This ur reply to poster two just made me late so much abeg

Anonymous said...

Empty brain, is this an advise?

School Life said...

P1 Get a side boo.


P2:















Must you guys buy a car? Why not use that money n invest on something really lucrative, within months, through God n Excellent management, you guys can open a car stand if you want.

After buying car shebi gvt go dey fuel/maintain the car gv una...

Anonymous said...

Poster 1 no advice for you

Poster 2 the most you should contribute is half and its a family car as expected and should have both your names,if he wants only his name he should buy it himself.but I will assure you one thing with the way he's going when he wants to sell that car he'll sell it and keep the money to himself and tell you its the head of the house and is therefore entitled to it.
So with my advice the choice is really yours

Anonymous said...

Thanks for this
Don't mind Stella and her CO-horts

That Victor guy is on a suicide mission if he marry his SIL

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Shut up!...
Knacking pigeon has been helping people since 1900...should I knack on yours head as an example empress cho?...

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one seeing the writing on the wall? If your esteem is low you attract another selfish low self esteem person. Both posters. Seriously? Focus on your self live yourselves first. Goody doesn't mean you love yourself means your doormat!
Have you ever questioned y some women transfer aggression.

Anonymous said...

May God bless you for this your comment,i went back to read the chronicle and I was surprised at BVN's contribution.The poster is wicked and the sister in law is evil.May I never marry a man like you and may I never have an evil sister like this.Jesus please come already,haba

Miss Suave said...

Poster 1,the signs have always been there. "Love" kept you from seeing them or you chose to ignore cos you thought it was probably better having him around than starting all over with a new man. Or the sex was damn so good? However, you are in it now, so let's see. Have a heart to heart talk with him. My sister, if he's beyond redemption then use your tongue count your teeth. Marriage should be enjoyed. If the essence of marriage is defeated then..
Poster 2,let his name be on d car,no big deal. Be in that marriage with a clear mind but ensure you still got some savings left. But, begin shine eyes o.. if subsequent matters arise like this and he still insists on his name then just know say no be better person. what to do? Begin do ya thing.

Anonymous said...

Please say that again. Life drained out of their eyes! Not even an asset!
WELL PRESENTED!

Musingsofjudgejudyjudy..... said...

Very well said.

To the post of the day: Poster 1- I honestly don't know what to say, i feel so bad for you and think you may need to simply separate yourself from that situation or carry on living with it but paying your husband no further heed- its not a situation I can relate with at all so I can't really advise more than this.

P2, but your mother needs a loan now, doesn't she? πŸ˜‰. Better give her this loan she needs for something very crucial....πŸ˜‰. Don't give your husband your savings as a contribution- give less than half of your savings and make certain your name is also on the documents.

Musingsofjudgejudyjudy..... said...

Very well said anon 15:49. Poster's hubby lost it fir me when he insists the name on documents would be his despite the fact that poster 2 was willing to contribute more than half of the cost of the car- I don't know, something doesn't smell right to me.

Anonymous said...

Chop knuckles. God bless u

lastborn said...

U don dey watch Indian film toooo much. Yimu

Musingsofjudgejudyjudy..... said...

Very well said.

lastborn said...

Interesting course.
Std cost,activity base costing,marginal costing etc.

IJAY said...

U just said it all, nice point

Rx Mams said...

What about way back when, when women were giving to their husband's brothers upon the husband's passing. Did the women not go ahead and give birth for the husband's brother? I don't see the reason why that poster can't go ahead with his ex sister, it's not an abomination and not a sin.
Don't bother yourself with what people think, they always have an opinion. Talk to her parents and talk to yours about the decision you are about to make. Good luck

IJAY said...

Poster 2 ,u can contribute since s a family car but not as much as u wanted yo earlier, poster 1, I don't think leaving ur marital home is the best

Lucia E said...

Poster 2, next time don't tell your hubby the exact amount of money you have. Trust me,I'm speaking from experience and from what i see/heard from people around me. That won't make you a bad wife because most often our Hubby's never give us the same courtesy

Secondly,pls don't give-up all the money you have saved. Remember you are jobless for now. The same hubby might be stingy when you are in need of money. Save some! Find some excuse or be truthful about it_ nah you know ur hubby too well and which one will sooth him.

Be wise like Solomon!! Giving all won't get you the 'best wife' award.

Maranma said...

on point. u ve said it all

Anonymous said...

Empress CHO, you nailed it.lmaooooo"bow down single bitches this is the life"hihihihihi.

Anonymous said...

War room,war room,Hian!!

Anonymous said...

Lol,i cant stop laughn i lov d way u reason,dt ws hw i borrowed my ex 100k to add to d mony he need to buy a car,wen he finally bought d car,my sistr i told him to teach me hw to drive,he started postn me,hv left him nd i kno he is already using his leg to walk everywher he hv taken car to,he is an ingrate so he deserve it.

Anonymous said...

Best comment, I was shocked at the comments,two blood sisters? Common,that's a stigma forever

Anonymous said...

Poster 1: this is such a pathetic situation, best you move on n choose happiness.
Something similar happened to a friend, who didn't know the man (let's say Pere Sawacha(not real name) was married no signs whatsoever

Anonymous said...

Poster 1: this is such a pathetic situation, best you move on n choose happiness.
Something similar happened to a friend, who didn't know the man (let's say Pere Sawacha(not real name) was married no signs whatsoever

Anonymous said...

Poster 2,pls be wise considering the fact you are jobless for now. I am married,2kids,my cars all bought by my husband, I have a diamond and zenith account with tens of millions in it even before I got married(though more added from hubby's money),hubby isn't aware that I operate those accounts, he is aware of one other plus our joint account, it's called being smart,yes,I love him and trust him but men are predictable, oh yes they are,I only buy basic things around the house, not what runs into hundreds of thousands,I even paint myself as the dependent wife who still collects money for my hair and toiletries, I can buy a trailer load,if I want,but I choose the "I need you to fend for me path" and it keeps my hubby in check.
This is my scenario and not yours,so pls and pls,if it's only 100k donate so he won't pick a fight with you,use the rest and start a business for now to keep busy.when money comes, u can demand for ur name to be put on land and companies documents, car is a liability not investment,taxis and buses should be used for now,till ur hubby can save enough.
Do what ur heart tells u though!

Anonymous said...

If you live in Abj, I could tutor you for free.




SHARONNA

Anonymous said...

Lesson gotten from this chronicle is that women are always too greedy. My advise use ur money buy ur own make him use him money buy him own, make we see who go cry first. Nonsense.stupid wife, let me see if either of you will be buried with material things. Stella you too be bad woman, why do you always want your husband to buy with your name? Don't you make enuf money from this your business? Abi you dey lie to trick other women that your husband do this and do that for you. When your own son grows up ask him to buy and put his life in his wife's hand.

Tush baby said...

Poster don't take this advice to avoid chronicles

Anonymous said...

Forgot to add this one last advise since he is the one paying for the house and food you should take permission before you eat,drink or even shit in that house. Greedy women if man no die for una,una no go know say he dey try na poverty they worry two of una sef! Una think say marriage na for mouth see small property way no reach 1million una wan die put, abeg make una divorce now o! Cos this una marriage no go last with all this greedy attitude I see.

PORTABLE VIV the beautiful n sexy queen of sdk blog said...

Poster2: your horseband should buy the car with his money,don't add anytin Biko after all he will be the one to drive it most of the time.
If u start joining money,u will join tire.....house rent ,school fees etc u will join.
I buy small small property in my name n at my own time n save without my husband's knowledge incase of uncertainty ..
Pls keep ur money n don't let him brainwash u n if u must buy it should be in u boths name.
Your husband should bring 2/3 of the money biko
I will even advice guys to buy a land instead of car

PORTABLE VIV the beautiful n sexy queen of sdk blog said...

Poster1:seperate from him for some time.......

Anonymous said...

Poster 2, why enter into a marriage you know will fail? You are afraid of giving your all to your hubby but you will expect him to give you all. Oh, I forgot most of you here including Stella have no regard for the institution of marriage. God is watching us all.

PORTABLE VIV the beautiful n sexy queen of sdk blog said...

Man of the house that cannot buy car rather he is waiting for his wife to bring 2/3 of the said money
He is not man of the house enough

Anonymous said...

God bless you for this. I hope you can take to this advice poster2. In this Buhari time you and your husband dey take of car wa go dey chop your money weekly instead of investing in something wa go dey bring in money daily. I piri you

Anonymous said...

One minute girl want husband to buy gift and everything for them( rich husband) but if he is a broke husband OYO is the case. Na wah for women

Anonymous said...

my brother u are a good person.when I got married I never thought I would leave this way.we actually discussed finances how we would use our govt salary to start up another business.Here we are 5yrs after everytime my husband brings up business ideas to con me and nothing comes out of it.he borrows without remorse and I have to pay.it is so difficult to hide money cos I have hate lying.See it is hell

DVICTORIOUS EHIS said...

When it comes to finance MY money,is MY money not ours.When I buy things,I don't use Mr & mrs. Its always in my name or any of our kids.

Anonymous said...

Story that ticks the bum. Mtweeee

Anonymous said...

Poster 2. Give ur self brain and don't even try it. The fact dat ur hubby says u should contribute more than half of the money to buy a car wen he knows u have no job is a pointer to the kind of person he his. Dat man will not be a fully responsible and independent man. Take it from me. Since u have promised him, give him like half of what u promised and stand ur grounds if he is angry, which he will be. And hence forth pls keep ur mouth shut about ur finances and let ur man take full responsibility for you and d home. If u are a frequent bv, u will know most men will shirk away from their responsibilities if u give them a chance, which is what u want to start doing. Your marriage is still young, don't start what you can't finish. Pls borrow yourself more sense, bcos from ur write up he be like say u get small sense.

Sandra Daniel said...

I just love ❤ your response..you said it all cos am married 9 years and can relate.

Anonymous said...

Good men still exist. My hubby is one of them.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

*your...

redbotafly said...

Poster 1,consider urself a single woman...take care of ur kids n dnt let wateva he does get to u,treat him like a stranger cos dts wat he is.poster 2,luv catch u to d extent of wantin to bring al ur savins to buy a car he wud neva even allow u drive.u were foolish to ve told him abt d savins.some men luv to cheat women.every lil tin men keep sayin'am d man here'so let him be d man n buy d car dnt contribute anytin to it.

Anonymous said...

I have been married for 10yrs and I started helping my hubby financially immediately we got married, I later regretted it. It got to a point my Dr can't do anything without me contributing financially. School fees, furniture, business, feeding, name it, he will ask me for part of it. Meanwhile he does not help me with anything. But I really didn't mind bcos I am well paid on my job. But three years ago, all dat stopped wen I had some financial set back and dh did not lift a finger to help me. Not that I did not have money to help myself, but I expected that someone I have helped all our married life should have come to my aid.wen I asked him y he did not help me out, he said he knows I have money. This is someone dat borrows money from me anytime he needs(he always pays back o, my love no reach dat side). So since then I closed my financial help to him. He could not believe it, till now. And I told him exactly y, it caused a strain in our relationship but eventually, he got over it. Now he has started helping me out financially, being financially dependent. Note that along the line I helped him start a business which is doing well but still he will say there is no money, even to treat himself,I must contribute. But now, my account is swelling steady with my savings, and I task him for everything. I give him an estimated increased bill and he reduces it and give me the amount I need in the first place. For three years now, if he ask me for money, my response is always I don't have, if he carry face, i pretend I can't see. Poster 2:dont spoil a man, it won't favour u. Let me state that my hubby bought me my first car after 3 months of marriage and did not collect the 400k I offered to contribute, bcos we just got married and he still had his pride. This your hubby seems to be shameless. Abeg keep ur money for business or exigencies. Let your man be a Man.

Drealbarbz said...

Narrative 1. U want 2 use ur entire savings 2 purchase a car and then start depending on ur hubby for stipends? Na there "see finish" go from start.
I'm pretty sure ur hubby isn't using up his entire savings for d car. And even if he is, he has a JOB to fall back on, u on the other hand do not!
No need 2 lie, just tell him its not wise for u 2 spend ur entire savings on a car, plain & simple!

Narr 2. Please give ur hubby some space for now. He nids 2 decide if he still wants 2 be a father and a husband.

Anonymous said...

what if u are not next of kin what if he takes urs in the name of contributing to family and at the end treats u anyhow would u still be ok?

Cissy said...

@ poster 1, just like pinky said, enjoy d company of your kids, focus on your dreams, elevate yourself, change focus from him to yourself, take a vacation with your kids.
Life is beautiful, so enjoy it. The fact that you are 'trapped in a loveless marriage' doesn't mean u shouldn't love yourself. Do everything possible to stay happy. Don't have a side-boo, if he is cheating doesn't mean you should cheat too#myopinion#.

@ poster 2, when in doubt..don't

Anonymous said...

Just out of curiosity, what can you guys make out of a husband not picking the wife's call but he kept checking his whatsapp profile as indicated by last seen. His excuse : he was tired and asleep. Asleep and on whatsapp simultaneously. And he believes the wife is creating unnecessary issue.

Anonymous said...

Oh wow! I thought it was me that sent in the 1st narrative.I gave him too much freedom and a lot of people blamed me. I thought I was being understanding but he has rubbed it on my face. This life sha. Was busy struggling with him not knowing he was out there chasing women and claiming single. We have 3 kids. He helps around the house though but th womanising no be here. Even touched my sisters bum 2yrs ago. She confessed in front of my parents. From emotional to verbal and then 2 months ago physical abuse. This man has turned me into a bitter person. After years of struggle. I've learnt my lesson the hard way. I pray God blesses me with a job soon. Even if its a bank job so I can take care of my kids. Ladies there is no point struggling with a man. You'll regret it

mulika said...

....well said dear....i agree totally.

BelieveAll Outreach said...

Are you the wife sister?





READ




Mrs I said...

Oh i love u a million time already sir.Thank u for a very sensible post.

Sally Rue said...

I think the first poster should try counseling. The husband doesn't seem like a reasonable person but she can just try for he sake of her children. From the counseling she'll know if it is the right time to leave him.

Sally Rue said...

Please if the second poster is already having doubts then she shouldn't. Understandably she doesn't have a job right now so she's trying to be conservative but then she'll have to lie to her husband and I don't know if it's the right thing to do.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Thank you anonymous 18:06...
I hate when some women form miss independent...it irritates the shit out of me!...

Anonymous said...

R u sure u read n understood dis chronicle @ all? So u actually think dis lady shud empty her account, her entire savings just 2 buy a car and bcom totally dependent on d man. Hw sensible does dat sound? Sori 2 say Bt I must say u r EVIL.

Anonymous said...

You just spoke my mind. How will U claimed married to someone and finance is not part of it. One of the reason for the saying 'and they were naked and not afraid'.

Souljagurl said...

I had to go bk and see ur name @ Pink shell. I like you!

Moi said...

Thank you Empress CHO!
Love your advice...

brownsugar said...

Nice one empress. You really hit the 'pigeon' on the head. Lol.

Anonymous said...

I munched your comment pinkshell ! Too much sense !

Anonymous said...

Victor and SIL if I were you I would follow this: Rx Mams6 August 2016 at 17:28
What about way back when, when women were giving to their husband's brothers upon the husband's passing. Did the women not go ahead and give birth for the husband's brother? I don't see the reason why that poster can't go ahead with his ex sister, it's not an abomination and not a sin.
Don't bother yourself with what people think, they always have an opinion. Talk to her parents and talk to yours about the decision you are about to make. Good luck
Another point is when my grandfather died, gradma was married to his younger brother(they had 3 children) and she went ahead to birth 3 more children for her ex BIL now DH. Pls I don't see an abomination here, I hapened in all households back in the days so pls do whatever makes you happy. Good luch


Anonymous said...

Queen dont mind this women. I dont pity some of them. How did d man know that she has money in d first place. I'm sure told d man cos she wanted to impress him, maybe that's why he even married her my dear it is late for u. U cant do anything cos as far as ur man know u ve money in d bank, its either he stops giving u money or he would look for a way and be collecting it.

Anonymous said...

This your type of marriage wey money is the pivotal joint holding y'all is very weird! I can't believe a married woman & mother is counting who did this & that in a 10 year old marriage. If y'all are like this as married people, i wouldn't wish either of you as a bf/gf on my worst enemy. And to think you're breeding children & grooming them with this level of decay & bile in you is very heartbreaking

Anonymous said...

Where did our parents go wrong & where did this generation learn this marriage of convenience from? Who goes into marriage trying to outsmart the other person? Where's the oneness in the marriage? I'm guessing you moved into his house after the marriage, have you or will you be contributing to the rent and also ask him to include your name in the rental agreement? I'm sorry to say but I don't think you're ready for marriage & I believe there's an ulterior motive behind this move. 7 months in the marriage and you're jobless but already fighting over LIABILITY (a car). For those fanning the flames of your foolishness, that he won't let you drive the car, I've got 1 question...in your jobless state, your husband needs to meet up an appointment that would bring money into the family but you have scheduled a hair appointment and he takes the car, does that connote that he isn't letting you drive the car? I don't know your financial status but I don't see why your husband would ask for financial help if he can bear the burden alone. Who's contributing what is irrelevant, what matters most is that your family is comfortable. You need a serious rethink especially concerning being married because you've got it all wrong. Marriage is never a competition, it's not about the most cunning person, it's about sacrifice.

BonaParte NN said...

Hope your dad has written a rocksolid will and put it in the hands of his lawyers. Hope your husband will write a will? Open your eyes. There is no family that is indivisible. Greed is bile too. I wish you all the best, in all sincerity. But many roasting away in probate said same thing. Secure your assets. Even if someone is in modern times, getting a letter of administration and defending all that is harder than executing a simple will.(just a friendly advise)

Anonymous said...

Thank you. Na so my own borrow 200k since 2014 and till today no show. He can never smell that kind of money from me again.

Anonymous said...

Wait until u get married b4 u open your gutter mouth and talk.instead of you to read an learn some sense, u are busy talking rubbish. If U think love alone is enough to sustain a marriage you are being dilutional. It's your type that will marry and start writing chronicles Upandan. U think to be married for ten years is a joke? Mumu, go and hug transformer, people are talking about serious matter u are talking about boyfriend and girlfriend. Ur response shows u are either a child, senseless, retarded or just plain stupid. Hissssssss

Anonymous said...

It's either u did not read her response well or u just have itchy fingers. This is the reality on ground my friend, real marriage is not Mills and booms. Better go and lean before u get married. U are obviously a senseless single girl.

Anonymous said...

You are just typing what you don't know, giving your hubby your money does not in anyway diminish your love for him. Yes, I have been happily married for ten years, with beautiful kids. The issue of our finances has nothing to do with our love. Money has nothing to with with love and it's not what is holding us together, anyway, until you marry, u will not know. And I won't also wish a senseless person like you even on my dog. Silly idiot.

Anonymous said...

My dear I totally disagree with u. Who brings what into a marriage is very important and relevant. We cannot continue to compare this our present generation with that of our fathers and forefathers. Things have changed,the economy, the morals, values, dressing etc, what we considered sacred is no longer an issue, dats y someone can say he wants to marry his ex-wife sister and many people have been urging him on. That is to tell u how morally bankrupt this world is. We live in a world where women will conveniently say they will not cook for their hubby, and men won't want to provide for their wives. So one has to be very smart in any relationship be it marriage or business so one is not short changed. People have different values, what's sacrifice when u are being Used? U CAN'T always marry someone who has same value as u, if u are waiting for such, u will end up as a gwegs. So marry who u love but still be smart about it. Marriage is not all about love.

Chiamaka L said...

Much love pinkshell, if a man decides to live his life in a way that can only spell doom, protect yourself and ensure you live right with God. Don't suffer for his sins, and try doing things that'll make you happy. God bless you.

Nitty-Gritty said...

Miss Blackie, I went to read the post and love your comment. There is a line siblings should never cross no matter what!

Poster #2, the ball is in your court because you know your hubby more than us. If he is the type that says good morning and you have to look outside to confirm it is so, then, you should not give him all. If he is the type that says the sky is blue and it is truly blue without you looking up to see it, then give him. As for the name on the document, I will be bluntly truthful with you, that is not gonna happen!

Nitty-Gritty said...

Miss Blackie, I went to read the post and love your comment. There is a line siblings should never cross no matter what!

Poster #2, the ball is in your court because you know your hubby more than us. If he is the type that says good morning and you have to look outside to confirm it is so, then, you should not give him all. If he is the type that says the sky is blue and it is truly blue without you looking up to see it, then give him. As for the name on the document, I will be bluntly truthful with you, that is not gonna happen!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 12:20...sorry to burst your bubble but I've got a wife & a daughter. We're both employed and wifey actually earns more than me but it doesn't make any difference. I'm not stashing money away for your idiotic rainy days, my family comes 1st, even if it means selling my blood to provide for them, I will. The minute you begin to con an outsmart each other, you might as well call it quit. Marriage isn't a game, it's a lifetime commitment & I certainly don't want to live for the next 50-60 years watching my back and outsmarting my wife...I'd die before my time, abeg! Y'all carry this university relationship mentality into your matrimonial homes & be brewing all sorts of rubbish for the society to consume in form of sons, daughters, bf & gf. Get a grip & focus

Bootylycious diva said...

Choo where is my Ezewanyi (qoutes)is better to be a widow than divorced .poster 1-you need Ezewanyi right now not stella s red pen

Anonymous said...

Thank u bro. They describe marriage like it's a street life. Like u have to out smart your partner, YOUR OWN PARTNER o.

Anonymous said...

God bless you. The kind of advice I see here,i won't marry a saint if she was a bv here. I am comfortable, very comfortable by the grace of God and if I marry a lady,i will give my life to cater and protect her. I expect same or better still meet me half way. This out smarting and cunny moves I see here is not what I want at all

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