NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
19, PREGNANT AND CONFUSED
I am 19 and in my 3rd year. I met my bf in my 1st year. We got close this year and started dating. He's my first and now i'm pregnant and he wants me to flush it because it's not yet a month.
He gave me something to drink the day i tested positive and since then i had been praying my baby is ok. I did another test today and still tested +ve.
I made up my mind to keep it but he sent me a message saying he doesn't want us to keep it. I feel bad knowing it would destroy our families. He says we'll have others when we get married and all. He says i'm selfish, and that something will happen to me during the course of the pregnancy or during labour (i was diagnosed with ulcer and appendicitis this year. I haven't treated both because of fund).
I can't cover a sin with another. I want to keep my baby. I won't ever forgive myself. I won't forgive him either and will break up with him if i do it. Please help me. I'd rather keep it and give it out for adoption.
What do i do?
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
Queen of blogosphere, I greet you! Without much ado, I'll like to go straight to my story.
I'm a lady in my 20s without a boyfriend and it is quite worrisome. Maybe because of what I've been through in the past or simply because I'm scared of the future. I never imagined I'll be sending a chronicle but at this point I need to let my heart out,knowing well that the only advice/solution to my problem is prayers.
While I was growing up, I was molested by a girl and she was a family friend. Whenever I go to her house to play she would touch my genitals and ride on me. I can't say I enjoyed it because I was too young to understand and oblivious of the implications. At that age I found myself practicing the act with some other kids, and I stopped after a while.I felt really bad, I didn't know who to talk to probably because I didn't even know the meaning of what I was doing.
To cut the story short, shortly before I finished secondary school, I started having nightmares of me having sex and it was really frequent, I still didn't talk to anyone about it, to be honest, I thought it was normal (just a dream). I was a virgin then and because of the frequent sex in the dream , I had to pop the cherry thinking things would change, since it was more like lesbianism in the dream, I thought having an actual penetration would change things (I was naive). I was wrong again, I think I worsened the situation because the dream became more frequent.
I didn't think it was spiritual husband or anything spiritual because I thought in that case, it was meant to be a man appearing to whoever in the dream, but mine was faceless and there was usually no penetration just riding like lesbianism(I'm not a lesbian, infact I detest it). I got into Uni, same thing.
Truth is i meet guys, but they leave for no reason.
At my worst, they leave,even at my best they leave and that was when I realized my case is spiritual.
Brethren, I have prayed, fasted, gone for deliverance,what haven't I done? Still no serious relationship, no boyfriend. The ones I like are not interested, the ones I don't like are head-over-heels in love with me. I know everyone would say PRAY! But in all honesty, I'm tired. Sometimes I feel like God is not listening to me, year in year out, same thing. No boyfriend, no love, no relationship. Even people that promise don't keep to it. I am lonely and it's driving me nuts.
Sometimes I just wish I could see God and ask him questions. I know He has the power to undo what the devil has done, so why not now? Is it until I'm too old? (God forbid). My darlings, I just thought to share what bothers me with y'all because i have no one to run to as this is very sensitive, and I'm frustrated.
I've already taken the blame, I'm not even going to blame the girl that got me into this mess, so no one should make me feel worse than I already feel. All i ask is for everyone to pray for me because it seems my prayers alone aren't enough. I'm certain by the time everyone prays for me, God would show mercy and answer me.
Thanks y'all , and sorry for the epistle.I had to put in a lot of courage to send this. Thank you Stella.
God bless everyone.