NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
THE CRUSH THAT PERSISTS.
I'm in a state I never thought I could be. I'm a 26 year old lady.
Growing up, I had this boy in my class (primary school) whom I was in the same group with as most brilliant students and was the only girl in that group.
We were young and never really got along because of the competition. But the teachers always teased us both then like we were going to be lovers. It's so funny. He's older than I am.
We got into different secondary schools and he got double promotions which made him finish before me, even University too. We have always been in contact as friends till date. There was a time, he actually asked me out while we were in the university but I wasn't ready. I had many challenges in my home.
As a child, I battled to be loved in my home. My mom and dad separated while I was still very young but I grew up with my dad and step mum. It wasn't easy! He didn't know any of these as I never told him.
In all those years, my main focus was to be the best I could become for myself.
I wasn't ready for complicated issues or any distractions. My growing up made me tough emotionally. I focused on my studies and wasn't prepared for any relationship. My first real relationship was after I graduated.
Even now, we still talk once in a while just to know what's happening in our lives and encourage each other, but something in my heart still yearns for him, even though I know he has moved on, may get married soon...I donno..
We're both doing averagely well in our different lives, it will get better! We're both focused and goal-oriented. Both working but live in different cities. I'm not even in any relationship, and I just wish he could take that bold step again and let's start something.
My heart yearns for him. I don't even know what to do. I'm very reserved and can't even tell him about my feelings. I'm not the type to show emotions until I'm sure of the whole thing. Sometimes, I just encourage myself with the saying that what will be will be. It hurts sometimes.
Please BVs, has anyone ever been in this kind of situation? How did you conquer it?
why dont you just ask him questions to find out if he is dating?As you ask him,I am sure that he will ask you too.
Is there no way to show him you like him and give him a heads on without saying anything?Dont just sit there oh,do something!..lol
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
Please I'm sorry for any gbagaun. I hate to type on the phone. Please kindly take your time to help me read my story.
I have been in a relationship for 6years now and we have a year old child together although we plan to marry this year before but before I move ahead with the plan(breaking up), I want to know your views.
Before we had our child, there were some issues which broke us; I cheated on him with my ex boyfriend. He was the first one who started the cheating game. He had an affair with his neighbour, a young lady like me then, also he had another affair with his boss' daughter, also with a white woman whom he met when he travelled for a program from work for 3 months.
He was dedicated to these people and we were still dating during all this time ooo. So I thought I should go back to my Ex and that actually pained him because he cried for like a week, he couldn't go to work throughout that week, we broke up and made up two months later.
During that breakup, he told one of my childhood friend on Facebook about the cheating stuff and from there they started dating and he even went to see her in school which is not even where we live. I noticed my friend doesn't pick my calls or chat with me again before I found out. Well I was not pained about it at all, was thinking of leaving him when going for NYSC and move on but I got pregnant along the line and gave birth during my service year.
We stay together now and he has started his cheating wahala again, although I notice whenever he's tired of them he moves on and get another person but I just don't know why he wants to marry me in particular but I'm not desperate for marriage. I don't want to live my life in regrets.
I haven't found a job yet so I stay at home with my child and he goes to work. I learnt some hand works which I paid for myself and he wasn't in support. May I state that most plans I have for myself, he finds a way to discourage me and imposes his decisions on me and also he doesn't have any particular responsibility on the child. I'm the one buying all the things the child needs.
Now he has two girls on his neck from work whom he chats with but he clears the chats always before he gets home. He speaks some foreign languages so he chats with those languages which I don't understand.
My dad wants me to go for my masters but I want to get a job first because I can't rely on this my fiancee at all although he wants me to go for my masters as well. Even the things we need in the house we don't have like chairs, TV, fridge, even curtains, cooker, car, properties and all. If he wants to buy those things within a month, I know he can but he has this kind of nonchalant attitude towards things and so proud. Boasting of things he can not do in the next one year. I just get fed up a times, he can spend money on irrelevant things also spends money outside.
Please advice me on what to do because a friend of mine was asking if I wanted to move from one man to the other after a child and that the devil I know is better than the angel I just met. My dad will not even accept that I do not get married to the father of my child because he was very disappointed when he heard I was pregnant.
We have been together for six years now and he hasn't achieved anything at all, he just spends lavishly outside and pretends as if his rich to people outside. He is 36 and I'm 23. He doesn't listen to my advice and always saying I'm disrespecting him whenever I am advising him. We don't talk in the house at all just stuff concerning the child alone. We don't go out together, no pictures together, he is not proud of me outside and I dare not talk to any guy if I don't want wahala.
I don't want a broken home for my child but my happiness matters a lot. I would have moved out long ago but I don't know where to go, my family members are in the village, I don't have friends that stay alone and am not working yet and to even rent an apartment in Lagos, you have to be rich.
Please I need your advice. Don't insult me please because I've lost my self esteem already. Thanks!