Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Memo To Revd Funke Adejumo

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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Memo To Revd Funke Adejumo

Yesterday there was a post on Revd Funke Adejumo advising Wives on how to treat their husbands and she particularly made a valid point with the wife being a helper to the Husband....

Well she has a memo that puts a question mark on her piece of advise.






Dear sis Stella,
PLEASE HIDE MY IDENTITY
I am a regular bv and I thank you for your platform as you have helped in publishing my letters in your blog.
I have been married over 28years. I have practised all the Revd says. I also participate in BSS where the Revd is always the preacher.

For the past 28years I have not indulged in any extra marital affairs. I have sold my house to educate my children when my husband lost his job.  When things were okay, I have bought a bus which my husband wrecked. I have also bought a jeep for my husband's use.

My husband now showed his true color when I was retired.

 I tried venturing in a business which gulped my money. You will remember I put up my property for sale in your blog.
He doesn't care if I eat or not. I can't remember the last time he bought anything for me or the children over the years.

What will Revd Adejumo advise?.



*Revd Adejumo over to you.I cannot post her email address because i think it reveals her name on google search but i can send her email privately if i am contacted.
If anyone else can help out with advise,please do so in the comment section or include the Revd's email so that she can contact her directly.



131 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. They haff come with memo ooh

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    2. Dear poster wear matching pant and bra maybe that will work!

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    3. 28years of marriage is a long one.
      I can't wait to see the response this woman will get from the Reverend.

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    4. Walahi, advice to women Love God, love yourself and love your children if you have any. Play your part in your marriage but don't kill yourself to please a man. I have a family friend the lady worships her husband, gave the man her car and she started trekking, did everything a woman should do to keep her husband lo and behold the day she had accident and lost her spinal cord the man went ahead to dump her at her mother's place. Men are mortals don't put all hopes on them, humans will always fail. Try to locate what makes you happy and focus on it God forbid that high blood pressure kills you the next month he will marry "Soyoyo" shikena.

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    5. Wo, House of Lawof, God will bless you a million times!!! Women! Women!! Women!!! Please drag your ear and listen to me, don't let any stupid culture tell you to worship your husband o!!! He is a human being and most especially, he is not your blood relative. He will have no problems dumping you and pushing you aside when the going gets rough. Shower all your love on yourself and your children, worship GOD ALONE!! But respect your husband and marriage. Don't make your husband your god o!!! Please make una hear o, Naija men are very wicked, you are setting yourself up for failure.

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    6. Cynhams, I already see the response, it is " pray for your husband".

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    7. THIS is usually what you get when you go over and beyond for a Nigerian man. They take it for granted and they wallow in irresponsibility.

      I have seen it play out many times!

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    8. 28years is a long time, and this is her side of the story, it is only when I hear the man's side that I can give a valid opinion, in the absence of that, I pray that God mends whatever needs mending in this marriage!

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    9. House of Lawof,i so love ur comment I must patronise u oh,i must buy shoe this month by fire by force.wonderful comment!

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    10. Amen to your prayers ma @anon 16:06. Thanks Mimie when you are ready let me know it's you so we can do it the SDK way #plenty discount. Long live SDK

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    11. @ LAWOF you are very correct. They right these memo's as if all men are the same. What has worked for you, might not work for someone else. Some men have the worst, nagging wives but they stay with them and are good husbands. Some men have the most angelic wives but these men cheat and are horrible. Bottom line, it depends on the man's character. It's not a formula to apply, you find the best way to deal with your situation and find what works for you

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  2. Over to her, but what advice does she needs after 28yrs of marriage? To divorce or cheat on him? The only advice you need to get something doing




    *Larry was here*

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    1. So she doesn't need love too?

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    2. So that she can continue slaving for him. It is always the woman that will do this or do that. In everything that happened they will always find one thousand things to tell the woman to do. If you do get the job, don't even do a single thing for the useless man. Nonsense.

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  3. It is well,Marriage isn't easy it doesn't come up with a manual.Anyways let me leave talk for the professionals.
    Yours sdkly dazzlinglizzy

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  4. hmmm...thing women go through just to keep a home.
    @ poster May God repay you through your children. Don't know what to say, 28years is a loooong time

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  5. Men are evil. That is why if you have money some where he doesn't know. If you have enough build house sef and buy land but don't ever let him know..

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    1. You father na # number 1# while ya mama na queen of evil........Oloriburuku.

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    2. Your ID handle speaks volumes about your person.

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    3. Decepticon, u be Bini woman?

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    4. I think I like the pix on your handle @deception. Do you mind to connect?

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  6. Maybe that Revd WAS HIGH WHEN SHE POSTED SUCH

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    1. Hmmmm,if God were men! I shudder to think what He woulda done to u after u typed ds

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    2. Hmmmm,if God were men! I shudder to think what He woulda done to u after u typed ds

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    3. Revd will reply her to pray! Watch and see

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  7. Replies
    1. To begin with, there will always be astonishingly irresponsible men that cannot be pleased or placated. Secondly, this poster can only fool the little-minded. "I have been good" "I bought him a car...blah blah blah" So in all this, you never did any wrong even for once? You picked out all his bad traits and left out yours. You are an angel that does no wrong!  From experience, I've come to know that the people that run to the public first to play the victim always carry more fault.  You come across as a very vain and contentious woman irrespective of your husband's waywardness. The both of you need to submit yourselves for counseling. Further more, many marriages have very false foundations. The both of you need to tell yourselves the truth as to where the rain started to beat you.  Madam, you purposely arranged your write-up in this form to patronize the angry women on this forum, and also massage the egos of the ones Adejumo intended her post for. They know themselves. You can see them hailing you as you expected. The ones that due to one form of mis-education or mis-guidance went astray and picked a struggle they've termed "feminism". Indulge yourselves my dear feminists. Curse all men after reading this 2 Naira post. Curse Adejumo for telling you the truth. But in the end, the truth is the only thing that would set you free. Make una stop to dey drag with men. Man and woman get the role wey God share give them. That some men are irredeemably irresponsible doesn't change the truth. ‎

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    2. Blunt you fall hand. This is something I have seen time and time again. It has NOTHING to do with feminism, but everything to do with irresponsible and unfaithful and ungodly men.

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    3. Idiot.....am sure this blunt is a man,you know those sort of men that will never see things they do wrong and change,they'll rather blame their wives for every fault in the marriage no matter how the woman try to please them.stupid blunt.

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    4. It would help if a sizeable portion of this 'advice' was directed at the men themselves. Feminism has many strands and these range from the reasonable to the outright bizarre. Nevertheless, at its very core is the cry for social justice and believe it or not, this links VERY directly to the Divine Commandment of 'Do unto others as you want to be done unto you'. As a man, do you want to be respected? Then, respect your wife! Do you want to be taken seriously? Then take the next woman seriously! Do you want to be listened to? Then listen to her! This has nothing to do with the 'role-differentiation' you people are often so quick to latch on to. If I want my daughter to have THE SAME shot at life as my son, WITHOUT prejudice, then 'OMG Yes!I am an unapologetic non-grandstanding feminist. And as for the Rev Adejumo sermon, it remains skewed and wanting in balanced logic...far too wanting to be termed 'Truth' of any kind. For 'Male AND Female created HE them'! Where is the OTHER side of this sermon?

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    5. Blunt in trying to come across as blunt, you actually sounded callous. For a woman yo have been married for 28 years, then she has seen. I'm sure you aren't married.
      Madam, first PRAY.
      Next, deflate his ego...teach him a lesson that will make him either love or bow down to your will. This is the time for you to start enjoying your marriage not quick getaway out of mother earth.

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    6. Blunt will you keep quiet... pls if you want your wife to all this den she must work ooo. So dt u wld know she is your personal staff. Self centred man. So you and wife leave for work in d morning an come back at the same time and you expect her to still do as d revd said. Pls if u want a wife like d 1 described pls look for u wld b d complete bread winner over so you can Lord over her. You think olden days marriages lasted because d women were wiser? Nope dey lasted cos d women were solely dependent on deir husbands hence dey had no other option. I regret getting married without a job. My husband is a good man but knowing dt u depend on him for everything is draining and depressing.

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  8. Continue waiting for Reverend to advise you, since you lent her your common sense...

    Everyday, boring articles about how women should behave in order to get a man are being churned out.
    Little wonder the amount of douchebags we have as men is on the increase.
    Men do not need grooming on ho to treat a lady and act right abi?

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    1. I wanted to type an epistle but you have saved me the stress... After 28years of marriage and all you have been through you are still asking for advice??? This is why this jokers we have for men will continue misbehaving.. Madam read up you will see my advice on what to do.

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    2. If emphasis are made on how to raise good men and how they treat ladies the way it's said to female kids every now and then, the world would be a better place.

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    3. That's a very rude comment for an elderly person who I'm sure can give birth to you. Stop hiding behind SM to insult people you don't know. You should probably change the QUICK in your ID so you'd ponder on your comments before posting next time.

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    4. U made sense somehow@quikie,
      @ambience, is not that serious, is his/her opinion, say yours.

      Meanwhile there

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    5. Meanwhile too many articles on what a woman should do to please a man, enough already. ..time to concentrate on the guys, they are the real monsters

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    6. The next piece of advice 'll be to watch war room!
      Women stop being foolish and become smart!!!

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    7. Quiksilver,you are a very silly child!!!! Is the poster your mother's age mate? It shows the type of useless upbringing you have. Onye iberibe.

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  9. Hohoho Issorait
    This is getting interesting
    But madam BV, i don't think the good Revd is the 'causer' of your predicament ooh. Just saying

    But patiently waiting for her reply

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    1. It is just that Revd put the burden of relationship knowingly or unknowingly on the woman. Maybe I am wrong but I don't think that is fair. It takes two to tango and my Bible says That a man should love a woman as Christ loves the church and that women should submit to men. Poster, the Lord is your strength.

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    2. She never said d revd was d cause of her problem!!!! She only asked a question.

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    3. Poster, u married a terrible specimen. Dasol! My question for u is why, after 28yrs of enabling his bad behaviour, u now ask for advice as if her article is what caused ur problems.

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  10. But why are some men wicked???

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    1. Some. Thank u for knowing this.

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  11. God of Replace all you have lost.

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  12. Enter your comment...may God help womenthings are going on in many people
    's
    marriage it's clothes that cover it

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  13. All I know is men are very wicked and now I can relate to and undeerstand some very "absurd" advice certain BVs give, if you must support anybody do it out of the Goodness of your heart and because of God, don't do it because your expect loyalty from the man, when the chips are down they don't remember, in fact the more you try to be there for a man the more likely he is to take you for granted. This is not to say Good men don't exist though, but I think they are rare. I always thought no matter how bad a man is in his youth he gets to a stage in his life when he drops whatever bad character and stays loyal to the wife that has stuck with him through thick and thin, this memo just told me they never change. I'm waiting to hear from other experienced people.

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    1. My dear when i speak on marital issues i speak from other peoples experience.. 90% of Nigerian men do mot have the word loyalty in their dictionary trust me... They are as mean as they come and that is because society has put them in a position to misbehave and get away with it.

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    2. Thank you. The truth is bitter. Nigerian men should change for the better.

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    3. @ oby o you speak well, you seem to do most times though.Our society is part of the reasons why these men behave the way they do.african men living abroad are a bit different. Those men living in naija are worst.its easy for them to treat their wives badly cos they get away with it.no law protecting the women.when a marriage breaks,they send their wives packing why should that be so.if the men are the one sent packing to go out and start all over again hustle to find their fit,I believe they will behave themselves.

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    4. Thank you anon 19. 35, as impossible as it may sound i believe we will get there someday.. Women are suffering and smiling in this society of ours.. A man sleeps with his wife's sister and you advice her to keep loving and praying for him, a man beats you black and blue she's adviced to endure to save her marriage for Heaven's sake what about her mental state?? Some men are not remorseful and even go on to brag about it... Enough is enough! Women must learn to stand up to oppression from men.. You will be shocked at the number of women committed to Yaba psychiatric home on a daily basis because of the sort of advice they get on how to keep your home till you become mad or die.

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    5. African men abroad are same just that they won't physically abuse u for fear of police but emotionally they will.my pastor said one thing that feminism came about when me couldn't do d simple thing love your wives

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  14. All I know is men are very wicked and now I can relate to and undeerstand some very "absurd" advice certain BVs give, if you must support anybody do it out of the Goodness of your heart and because of God, don't do it because your expect loyalty from the man, when the chips are down they don't remember, in fact the more you try to be there for a man the more likely he is to take you for granted. This is not to say Good men don't exist though, but I think they are rare. I always thought no matter how bad a man is in his youth he gets to a stage in his life when he drops whatever bad character and stays loyal to the wife that has stuck with him through thick and thin, this memo just told me they never change. I'm waiting to hear from other experienced people.

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    1. You're very bitter and sound like you've been dealt a rough one by a few bad men. First, the quality of relationship you get from a man is relative to the quality of relationship he has with himself. If you see a party-animal, womanizer, workaholic and think you're the best thing since sliced bread to happen to him, THINK AGAIN!!! A man who doesn't give a damn about his internal organs that are keeping him alive, how much more you that he's got nothing to loose if you exist his life now? A man who can't take care of himself, can't cater for another person. The igbos say that "onye a na-azu, adiro azu mmadu", he that's being trained does not train another person. Men are not very wicked, SOME MEN are wicked and the wickedness is a byproduct of your stupidity as a woman to tolerate the stupid things he does and think you can change it. People don't change for others, they change for themselves. Stop looking for men you can "make" and feel good inside yourself that you made him, rather look for a man that's at least at par and higher than you, that way you grow and learn.

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    2. Anon 16.09 na fight???? The be all and end all of this matter be say. Men are wicked,am sure you're a man that's why you're getting bitter over other people's comments.na so e dey pepper you for body.so what is wrong in a man that drinks and smoke and party.is it not better to advice such men to change and drink less if they can't stop overall atleast reduce their excesses and try become a responsible man and father rather than yet blame the woman for marrying such a man cos she wanted to make herself feel good.so a woman is adviced to change and live for his man and not vice versa.why una dey reason like this naa??????

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    3. Anon 16.09 na fight???? The be all and end all of this matter be say. Men are wicked,am sure you're a man that's why you're getting bitter over other people's comments.na so e dey pepper you for body.so what is wrong in a man that drinks and smoke and party.is it not better to advice such men to change and drink less if they can't stop overall atleast reduce their excesses and try become a responsible man and father rather than yet blame the woman for marrying such a man cos she wanted to make herself feel good.so a woman is adviced to change and live for his man and not vice versa.why una dey reason like this naa??????

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  15. The truth is that one set of advise cannot work for everyone just like every situation is peculiar. I would advise 1) Focus on your children 2) Love your husband as much as you can but don't be a fool 3) Take him to the Lord in prayer. Drastic deliverance 4) Ensure you hide your money away from his notice until he is delivered or if he is delivered 5) Look after yourself and your children and 6) Just pretend to be a fool while you keep you joker to your chest.

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    1. I advice you take advice number 4 and 5 very seriously!

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    2. People with your mindset have ruined marriages. What is hide your "money" away? What if he starts hiding his and the stupid hide & seek continues meanwhile children are suffering because 2 supposedly matured idiots are trying to outsmart each other. Marriage is NOT a game or gamble especially when kids are involved. A reasonable man won't look at your money and a reasonable woman would subtly support her husband and do certain things in the house. Not when you're working and earning salary and still wait for your husband to come back so you collect money and buy N500 pack of semovita. Your child is sick & you can't buy N100 paracetamol to nurse his/her fever. That's all manners of wrong

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    3. Nice advice. More wisdom to you.

      Poster, don't have sleepless night cos of your hubby. Concentrate on your children more and also love yourself more too.

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  16. Poster pray to God for redemption. Or better still, pray for 'Irapada' (in yoruba). U will smile in d end.

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  17. Stella, you didn't post it abi? Well done

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  18. I don't know what kind of advice to give to a couple of 28yrs in marriage when I have to even up to 10.

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  19. omg!!! i am so tired of hearing this bullshit. why does it always have to be the women working tirelessly to keep a man? why cant people write articles and books bout how to make or keep a woman happy? why is it always bout men?. does it men women arent important. why do we give men so much attention? its irritating gosh!!!. imagine giving a man 28 years of your life like this woman, what does she get in return? NOTHING.
    women need to start to learn to be selfish a little bit.make yoursef happy. a man shouldn't be the center of your world. plan for your future, save for yoursef. dont depend on a man. BE HAPPY FOR YOU.

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    1. Because men are selfish!!! They think only of themselves. Women better wake up and act smart.

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  20. Hmmmmmm so many sad stories of marraiges. Poster since your husband does not care about you, you too stop worrying about him. Just keep yourself in Prayers for God to help you.

    No wonder some prefer to be widows than live with their horsebands

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  21. It is well with u.But why are men like this? I just don't understand what they think in their head. I know u will bounce back in ur business, just keep @ it. But don't 4get what he has done 2 u.

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  22. madam you played your part as a good wife. Not every article or advice can work for everyone.

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  23. The reason we keep seeing things like this is because our culture insists (stupidly) that a woman alone can make a marriage. The second party in the marriage is always left to do nothing, hence the break down of homes and evil we see. When we start keeping men accountable and more spiritual leaders and parents stop ignoring the "heads" and actually advice them as well, only then will we see a change. Until then ladies, love with your head.

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    1. @Anon, very valid point! I had an argument with my MIL on this same line "women make the home" last month.
      My husband was there & I quickly informed her it is our collective duty and effort to make a home.
      Misguided teaching handed down through generations

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    2. I thank God for my pastor, a man. Rev. G. Y. Aduloju. He always admonishes men during service to do right by their wives and families. If men don't hear the truth from the church, where will they hear it? Bible says it is the truth that will set us free.

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    3. Our culture doesn't insist anything, it's an individual decision and I can categorically tell you that human beings will get away with whatever you let them get away with. If your spouse is messing up, call out their bluff don't blame it on the culture. That being said, there are natural roles that need to be understood, just like a woman would not expect to mow the lawn or go sit in the mechanic all day fixing the car, the man also doesn't expect to do some roles however, everyone is entitled to compliment the other as situations arise

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    4. Don't mind them,the society is the ultimate problem.Imagine one time my aunt daughter inlaw came to report her hubby to my aunt(her hubby mother)that he beats her at any slightest provocation.she even had marks on her.you won't believe what my aunt said to her....what did you do to your husband?is that what supposed to come out of her my aunt's mouth!!!! I was so pissed off I had to get involve, my aunt called her son,when she got off the phone,she eve made matters worst by warning her daughter inlaw to stop cursing her son when they fight.shr was like my son said you keep cursing him,you don't have home training blahh blahh, advising her that the man is the head of the family that she should learn to respect her husband and pray for him.i lost all likeness I had for my aunt that day for being a woman and yet allow her son to treat another woman like her like an animal and she saw nothing wrong in it.

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  24. Na wa o. Someone prayed a prayer that she wants God to bless her the more and make her the head since her husband has refused to man up and shoulder his responsibilities (summering), i was shocked but she said it worked for her as she doesn't lack money to take care of the home. hnmmmm. A stingy husband just doesn't know that he's heaping curses on his head.

    Poster, may God surprise you more than you can ever imagine for good. Amen

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  25. God will see you through honey.

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  26. The patience you have exhibited through out 28yrs should continue! Im guessing that will bé her advice..

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  27. Watch the movie "War Room". Everything you need is in that movie:::::::

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    1. You think the movie is the answer. Everything in life is theoretical until it happens to you. Madame poster, your patience has been your saving grace. Am sure it is because of your kids you have endured thus far. It is well.

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    2. MadamMrs war room,clap for yourself. You better be realistic and stop this war room talk!!!

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  28. Poor poster doing abokoku. It is not too late to wake up! No need to even leave your husband, What can I say? Hmm! What I can say is do as Evangelist Funke does, not as Evangelist Funke says! The woman (and many like her) has her man on lockdown! How? Love yourself and help yourself, and every part of yourself,that includes your kids, and even including your man if you have one. Study the man well "helping" him until you can do everything he can do better than him, then neatly seize his glory, while giving the glory to God with daily praise and worship! Continue telling the man "if not for you I am nothing" to feed his ego. Datsall!That's what Funke does, not what Funke says. Who even remembers the Felix Adejumo whose strength she used to become evangelist? QED

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  29. To counter this poster, I was married for 10 years and was what would be considered an alpha male. My family, MY SOLE RESPONSIBILITY...rent, school fees, vacations etc. until I "stumbled" financially and my ex-wife suddenly had an epiphany that my money is ours while hers is hers. I'm single and HAPPY today with great relationship with my children. So don't pin it on men only, humans are genetically evil

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    1. Anon 15:17, don't mind the bitches on this blog. Just because men don't scream "blue murder" doesn't mean we don't see shit from women. How many good women really exist please? And they're always quick to condemn men

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    2. We are talking of majority of men. Ofcourse we know that there are a few good men. Hope you find love again.

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    3. Anon 16. 46 we know your type, lazy men depending on their wives, cant mould one block to save your life if the situation depended on it.

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    4. Oby I am sure you are referring to 16:19

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    5. Yes my dear i am @anon 22. 04.

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  30. You want to make me start doubting the Love my parents share. They've been married for 30yrs now.

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    1. You should be able to see the fruits of your parents marriage. Why are you doubting?

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    2. Don't doubt oooo! Am sure your mom worships your dad for peace to rain. That's how it is with my folks.

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  31. 28 years is a long time but some ppl can never change(male&female)marriages r different.my advice is that u raise money anyhow n open a business n pretend that u don't hv a husband so that u don't die prematurely

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  32. Hmmmm. Oh well oh well this one heavy pass meooo. Choii

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  33. Madam poster you are wrong because you do not know the scripture nor the power of God. You and your husband are following the preacher lady's teachings and not the teachings of Christ. You still call some money "my money . . . I bought for my husband", what it means is that you both are not "one" like prescribed by Christ whom you claim to worship. Marriage is a mystery related to Christ and the Church (Eph. 5) right? When Christ was on earth; with his bride, whom did he give the money bag; the one he trusts most or the thief? You see, all I saw in your mail is selfishness on the part of two folks that are cohabiting and pretending to be married. And by the way, selfishness is one of the works of the flesh. Looks like you both need to deal with your flesh through fasting so as to walk in the Spirit and produce the fruit of the Spirit one of which is faithfulness, kindness and so on.

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    1. You are sick!

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    2. So easy to say, I hope you are solely taking care of your hubby

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  34. THE ISSUE HERE IS "TRUST"

    When one says "spouse" one is talking about "life partner"; husband or wife. If one has chosen above (all men or) ladies to live with "this fellow' as a life partner in love; then love is all about sharing. When one say "my husband's money" or "my money" is it not an anomaly? when one shares everything intimate (including sex); if they can't have funds together; where is the oneness? Hasn't the aim of marriage been defeated? The issue of oneness is in sharing everything. The excuses many give is "I don't trust her to know how much I earn or am worth". If one is a follower of Christ; who did Jesus give "his wallet"; was it not Judas? How much trust did Jesus have for Judas? These are some of the issues that intending spouses should define in courtship.
    On a personal note; my husband and I had a common "account" from the moment I accepted to marry him. He decided to put me in charge of every financial spending. He makes contributions and there is no issues about that. There is no account that we have had since marriage that bears one person's name and the mandate is "either to sign". WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT "HIS MONEY" "MY MONEY" hasn't the purpose of marriage been defeated?
    Finances usually breeds quarrel among couples and the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Married for more than a decade an NEVER ARGUED is our testimony by the grace of God. When there is concealment of finances, the lady makes demands, suspect the husband of keeping a concubine etc. But when the two are open to each other in the way described above; thee will be no room for mutual suspicion!

    A couple we know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.

    Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)

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    1. Lady Igo👏

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    2. Lady Igo👏

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    3. Nice comment, you said when you accepted to marry your husband he willingly gave you charge over his finances. Keyword "willingly", your husband assumed the role of a responsible head and a loving leader. Your comment just scratched the surface. She gave a summary of all she is going through viz a viz what the Reverend sermon was, it clearly did not work for her; now she is asking what next.....please don't tell me the lady ain't submissive.

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    4. Thanks Lovelace and I am not the poster.

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  35. I could relate more with what my mother passed through as I grew older.

    My father is the most amazing dad but I cannot say he is an amazing husband.

    My mom tolerated a lot of his naughtiness, selfishness and bad mouth. They are still together and she has found away to be happy outside of him as well as live cordially with him. It was very hard for her to come to terms with his selfishness as she would complain and complain for days and weeks and months into years.

    Thank God she is financially independent.

    Dear poster, my mother sacrificed all sacrifice able for her home. Her husband would not appreciate her, but as we grew older, oooo we appreciate her daily, hourly if possible. I see all she did. I love her unthinkably. Your children will fill your heart because they see. I pray God provides for you finiancially and gives you the strength to be happy independent of him.

    God bless mothers and wives.

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    1. I can relate with your story.

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    2. Hmmmm anon 16.26 Are you my sister? E just be like say na our parents this person described here.both my parents has money but my dad is something else,my mum tolerated him till old age,mum took care of our finances despite that my Dad is very buoyant as well but the man was and still irresponsible and never appreciated my mum.my mum built the four houses we own and put my father's name on two.its not like my dad is ever good to her,he cheats,he doesn't show her love,he lavishes his money outside.he's old now and still hasn't changed.my mother should have left his ass years back but she never did and we do get angry at her for staying put.when we visit them on weekends now with the grand kids my dad gets jealous that we all show our mum more love than him.i look at him and shake my head without saying a word.he even gets angry that we call our mum more.its like he doesn't have a clue of all the wrongs he's done.typical African man.i pray my brother's don't follow in his footsteps,one of my brothers is great with his wife,the other one I see traits of our dad in him and I fight him all the time whenever he does anything to upset his wife.his wife is a very good woman.

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  36. Thank you anonymous 15:17. Women always reeling out sob stories as if all women are angels, loyal and wonderful partners to their husbands in dire times. Of course there are several women who abandon their marriages when the going gets tough even to the extent of abandoning their children. Some stay back but become the devil's incarnate, tormenting the life out of the unfortunate man who has fallen on hard times. Men are not perfect, neither are women.

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  37. I noticed a part said "I put up my property for sale".That line makes it seem like the relationship was me/you and not us or ours. You might have done a lot for him but you operated as separate people as opposed to been a couple. To your question, men always forget things done for them so don't count on it. Forgive and work on your relationship...work on being one and you can both share what you have. Love is sharing, work on getting the love in first. All the best.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Na only she go work on being one? Obviously the man is not prepared to do so.

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  38. forget all this talk, all Nigerian women should read "Why Men Love Bitches". You dint have to follow everything the book saus but find away to tailor it to your situation. trust me it completely change the way my husband sees and treats me. i repeat don't follow the book blindly o

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  39. I will love to hear from the man too. Madam you made yourself look perfect.

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    1. Ofcourse the woman will see things from her view point.

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  40. Madam poster, it's quite a pity if you are waiting for the revd's advice, she will ask you if you wore matching Pant and bra, guessing from your length of your marriage, you are part of the old school, so u didn't wear matching undies which made your husband to misbehave. So young married women Don't forget to branch the market this weekend oh for matching undies and to keep your marriage intact, sack every domestic help u have and start doing all the house chores your selves.

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  41. When will women ever learn?, wives that keep acting like mothers and man makers, I brought him a car, house blah blah blah, and you expect him to give you money. Women, stop acting like the 5 virgins with empty lamps. By now you should know, that some men, not all feel insecure and inadequate when you do all the spending on them, some men don't like it, but can't help it, whilst some men enjoy freeloading off a woman shamelessly. Stop waiting for a man to validate you as his wife, and learn from your wise grandmothers.

    After 28 years of marriage, where are your wise friends and mothers to advice you?, that you took to Stella. But in reality some women love and living life dysfunctionally.

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  42. The person needing advise, is she Igbo or of another tribe in Nigeria?

    If she is Igbo. Then the elderly Igbo women can advise on her how to keep the marriage together. Because the elderly Igbo women have many years experience of the lows and ups of the marriage years and experience.


    To write to you and Pastor Funke Adejumo, when she is Igbo, for example, is surprising.


    Marriage of 28 years, you stated.


    Na wah oh.

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