Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists...

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Saturday, 27 August 2016

Saturday In House Gists...

We had some IHG sent in for today segment and today the rules are different.






Please check out for Construction and the way the gist was delivered....

Gists are all unedited...check out for spellings.Most times i ask that articles be edited for clarity but some people send in words i cannot even help them edit cos i dont know what they mean....
The winner would have to be the one whose gist passes all test of clarity,funny,clear and simple English or pidgin and well a spelt out gist

*BV James can you help us pick the winner from the votes in the comment section?Votes from the comment section is not so important.The Judge, James must agree with the votes or choose who he feels won and give his reasons..lol




GIST 1

This happened to me last month and its something I will hardly forget. 

 On this particular day, i decided to look better with makeup cos I always prefer natural, my lovely gown and heels were on point, was feeling so fly and chick coupled with the admiration and praises from my colleagues but I no no say sis nkechi's thunder was waiting for me somewhere. Around 3, I decided to rush out for an appointment as the cloud wasnt friendly at all.  

On my way inside a public transport it started raining infact it was a heavy down pour so the driver cdnt continue,  I ran into a bus stop to join others I saw there, the rain wasnt stopping and it was getting late, as faith will have it a bus came shouting the name of the place I was herding to. I felt relieved at last and went to jump in.

 There was no way to differenciate the road and gutter as the flood was so much, fiaaaaaam I landed into the gutter, my bag scattered, my head on the road while the remaining was inside the gutter. No one even bothered to help me dnt blame them though cos it was still raining. 

With my shakara gone I managed to climb out like one participating in gulder ultimate search, as I turned to get satchet water from the little kiosk abi mtn stand nearby at least to wash my face omooo come see laugh, it was coming from all corners. They where just laughing and saying sorry at same time for those that had conscience, i thank God my heels werent broken, the speed i used to turn away from the crowd and zoom into the bus like tom and jerry eeh i cant describe it.

 I begged the driver to move quickly before I die of shame, the conductor out of pity bought two  sachet of chilled water for me. Right inside the bus I started having a semi bath, thanks to my scarf that served as sponge and towel, the pain no be here imagine cleaning an open wound with chilled water.

 It wasnt funny that day but when I remember it now I just laugh, please lets always learn to help others and not laugh at their bad situations.


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GIST 2

Let me compete for the 20k o, very necessary in this buhari time.
So I'm a member of Facebook group for women, I recently joined and was very excited. 
It was a place I could express myself without judgement and yes I over expressed myself. 
One day there was a post about missing your ex and trying to let go. I decided to comment and talked about my ex, that I loved my ex more than my husband but knew he was not going to make me happy in the long run because I loved him more. And I chose my husband over him and I have never regretted it and I know that with time I will learn to love my husband as he loves me. 


My people I felt I had spoken well and helped another sister, until I received a notification. So so and so liked your comment, I clicked to check and among the names was my mother inlaw. Hey! I had no idea she was a member of the group, never seen her comment before. I started thinking about all the other things I have written that she must have seen. I was practically praying for the ground to open and swallow me.

What if she tells her son? I quickly deleted my comment first of all. Next thing I received a message from her on facebook, I refused opening it. I was so scared and didn't know how I'll respond if she decides to talk about it. 

When I got home I summoned courage and opened it, it read how are my children dear. Guilty conscience did not let me reply, that was how I jejely deactivated my Facebook account. This happened on Monday, I still don't even know how I'll handle the matter when we meet. 

Chai!

 I shot myself in the foot, that is my story o. Vote for me


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GIST 3

So my gist goes like this, I happen to have a jealous boyfriend. He's
quite insecure and doesn't like to see me with any guy not even normal
friends, I love him so I've learnt to manage him like that and not
give him reasons to be jealous. So where I stay, there's this my
neighbour that has been disturbing seriously to date him and my
boyfriend is aware. 

Cause of that I avoid the neighbour like plague
when my bf is around, I stay with my sister and her child but my bf
visits me regularly.


Behind him sha, this my neighbour and I are quite close. So I had this
wedding to attend, an old friend was getting married and I honestly
didn't want to go with keke and reveal my broke condition jare after
years of graduating. Make I package small incase I see some other old
friends, my bf was outta town so this my neighbour volunteered to take
me to the wedding, and I happily agreed.


We went together took pics (hard copy) and all, had fun. Knowing my
boyfriend, I knew I had to destroy those pix so he never gets to see
them especially since I didn't tell him I went to the wedding with my
neighbour . But I wanted to snap the pictures so I can have a copy and
crop the guy out, to be safe I decided to cut the guy out of the pix
and just keep my half to snap later. 


While I was doing all these detective work my niece saw me and asked what I was doing, I told her that I was keeping uncle emeka's (my bf) part of the picture for him. Cause I didn't want to push the matter before she talks when her mum is around, and my sis will give me a lecture on how I don't respect my
bf.

Anyway something came up and I just arranged the pics back in the
picture nylon to continue later, that was how I forgot about the pix.
My bf eventually returned and visited, we were just gist and my niece
was there. They are quite close, and she likes him a lot. So I went to
make noodles for him and they were playing and gisting. When I was
done I came out and behold my bf was holding all the torn pictures and
just glancing through, while my niece was busy scattering the whole
shelf looking for something.

 I was weak, the worst part was that myniece saw me and innocently asked " aunty where is uncle emeka's picture that's you kept for him, it's only uncle nonso's own I'm seeing ".
I was just speechless


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GIST 4

How d weekend my fellow bvns? So i rembered this incident that
happened while i was in my second year in school and decided to send
it in cos the thing funny die.

I lived in a face me i slap you compound without fence in school. So
on this fateful day at about 3am, i was sleeping in my room when
someone tap me on my feet saying Kay wake up abeg. I thought i was
hallucinating, then i heard my name again. I opened one eye and saw a
human figure infront of me in my room of which i live alone, i shouted
and ran out,(omo usain bolt gat nofin on me) na so i pick race even
fall the guys dem  cos i was sure i locked my door before going to
bed. The guys ran after me saying kay wait nau na chairman be this(my
lodge mate). I recognised his voice then stopped. 


Then i shouted on him saying chairman for dis life ehn...no ever play this kind play with me. Him say no ooo no be so  and then he started his explanation
say dem don rob us for we compound o... I said shuoo! I looked round
the compound and it was disorganised, things scartered everywhere with
few people outside. Shuo! so how manage una take enter my room na?(d
thieves already spoilt my door) Na so i collect rechargeable zoom off
enter my room. My people, na so my room empty. Dem carry me like
feather put for ground carry my new foam, my stove, and phone( i no
kuku get any other better thing). 

I shouted i am finished oooooo I con rush out confused and destabilized. Na then chairman con explain give us o. Him been dey come back from outing with him friends na so dey see one peaugeot motor( dat one dey call peacup) the pack things from students room o and them sef con dey wonder wetin dey happen. So them come flash touch pauuuu na so the driver zoom off, the other two when still d pack things leave am pick race. Them cha pursue them small but due to fear fear they no catch any. I say Choi dis thing no be
ordinary. How i go dey sleep when person go spoil my door like that
and i no go know? I know say i no dey sleep like that na. Even if na
rat shake plate i don wake so how manage? One guy where him room dey
next to mine, them carry him i pass my neighbour gen and dvd with
laptop. Others na phones, electronics e.t.c


So the process of flashing touch nau, we con see enough charm for
centre of the compound. Among the items mounted were the stick used in
measuring dead body for coffin,four bent iron used by native doctors
nailed on the stick,tied with red wool,red cloth,a liquid substance
poured around these items, two whitish stones,a dried bat, and others
of which i don't even know the names. Immediately i saw these items, i
remembered the story my grand father told me about the stick in
measuring dead body, how some wicked people use it to rob. Any
compound they mount it, the whole occupants will fall asleep and will
only wake when the person using the charm decide to release them or
maybe hours after the person must have gone. So i heard coffin makers
now bury it with the coffin to avoid all these stories. I actually
thought it was a myth until that day.


Na wa! So we now decided to wake others up. Those that they robbed,
their doors were open so it was easy to wake them up(though not that
easy cos we practically dragged them outside and poured water on their
faces). They couldn't get to the rooms at the back before they were
interrupted by chairman and his two friends so those ones, their doors
were locked. We banged and banged on their door, still they didn't
wake up. We used big stones, stick, shouted all to no avail. So the
few of us awake decided to do vigil incase they'll come back. Na so we
light the rechargeable oo till day break. I say na here i go dey
today, no leave no transfer.

Could you believe the charm didn't clear off and they all woke up at
about 10am. Some even had 7am test, some lectures.(no be small yabbing
that day o) Na so we gather, removed the charm when dem mount o. The
thing con be like movie as our compound full. Then we called an
elderly man close to us, he came and took those items. I packed my
things and started staying with a friend in the hostel. The next
semester, i moved to another lodge. I no fit shout abeg, make them no
come carry person pikin from room do rituals. I cannot come and go and
begin vomit money o.


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GIST 5
Let me compete for the 20k o, very necessary in this buhari time.
So I'm a member of Facebook group for women, I recently joined and was very excited. 
It was a place I could express myself without judgement and yes I over expressed myself. 
One day there was a post about missing your ex and trying to let go. I decided to comment and talked about my ex, that I loved my ex more than my husband but knew he was not going to make me happy in the long run because I loved him more. And I chose my husband over him and I have never regretted it and I know that with time I will learn to love my husband as he loves me. 
My people I felt I had spoken well and helped another sister, until I received a notification. So so and so liked your comment, I clicked to check and among the names was my mother inlaw. Hey! I had no idea she was a member of the group, never seen her comment before. I started thinking about all the other things I have written that she must have seen. I was practically praying for the ground to open and swallow me.

What if she tells her son? I quickly deleted my comment first of all. Next thing I received a message from her on facebook, I refused opening it. I was so scared and didn't know how I'll respond if she decides to talk about it. 

When I got home I summoned courage and opened it, it read how are my children dear. Guilty conscience did not let me reply, that was how I jejely deactivated my Facebook account. This happened on Monday, I still don't even know how I'll handle the matter when we meet. Chai! I shot myself in the foot, that is my story o. Vote for me



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GIST 6



Hi SDK and SDKers, I decided to share this gist after much consideration lols. I pray it wins so I can help a suffering fellow.
There was this fine girl in my department, she was everything a man would want his girl to be physically. She was tall with good sizeable hips and boobs. She rounded it up with a beautiful face and spotless skin.

Well, I chased her for about 8months before she finally agreed to date me. We started hanging out after lectures, go out during wekends and all. Finally, after 3months, she came to spend the night with me. Did I tell you that she did not allow any kind of 'pyessing' or touching for these three months. She said she was still 'studying' me lols. She guided her chest region in particular very well.


On the 'D' day, she agreed to spend a night with me and I took good care of her that evening before retiring to bed. This girl took her bath and wore her undies including bra in the bathroom and came out, wore my Tshirt and boxers, then retired to bed. I just dey observe, I also took my bath, came back and lay beside her. After much gisting, I started touching, she touched me back, I wanted to pyess bwess(in Kelvin's voice) she removed my hand. By this time, my JT was on flames. I touched and played with every other part of her body except her chest region, she removed all she had on except her bra, I became suspicious. After about one hour of thoroughly working with my finger, I suddenly pulled down her bra unexpectedly. My people, what did I see?


Two foams fell off, the bra was padded with enough foam to make my pillow too. Lastly, I saw only two big nipples staring at me. My JT bowed in shock, it was speechless! I was speechless! Disappointed and Pained for being deceived. 

I quietly wore my boxers back and slept. Did I even sleep? I just closed my eyes. All the while, she was mute, we were both mute. She left in the morning and that was the end, she stopped talking to me after that and avoided me like plague. Na my gist be that.


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GIST 7



Hello house of God!
I have this gist from way back that I want to share with you. All hustle na hustle lols.
In those days when I just finished secondary school. You know how that teenage spirit used to push us to start doing big boys and girls in the neighbourhood, wearing designers and looking for excuses to go out and 'show them' that we have arrived. Lols.
So I was a 'big' girl after my SSCE and loads of guys were on my matter back then, I on the other hand was forming what I was not. I did not have a boyfriend, had never been to an eatery which was like visiting America those days in Osun state where we lived.. 


There was this guy who was persistent on dating me. He was a Computer instructor. One day, he asked if I had visited an eatery before, I answered "yes na, I visit very often, infact, my favourite is their salad and hotdog". He was surprised, in my mind I was already getting scared because I had never tasted salad nor hotdog before, he then said he would take me there the following Sunday. I was happy and looked forward to it.


Fast forward to the day, we entered the eatery and settled down, guy man went and ordered salad and hotdog (my fav in his mind) for me while he opted for fried rice and chicken. When he brought my food and I saw salad and hotdog physically for the first time, I knew I was done for. My countenance changed when I saw fresh green leaves but the pride in me did not allow me to tell him I wouldn't be able to eat it. Foolish me started eating the salad first, by the time I ate half of it, my stomach was on fire, I was feeling sick.


 Bobo asked if everything was ok and I answered that I needed to use the ladies. As I stood up and made to leave our table, I couldn't control it anymore, I threw up and messed the whole table with vomit. On my way to the ladies, I threw up again, bobo followed me to the ladies and cleaned me up. We went home. On our way home, the yeye guy kept asking if I was pregnant, I denied it vehemently, I was furious but I couldn't open up to him that it was the salad and that I had not tasted it before.

 Infact I was a virgin.

Few weeks later, I started hearing rumours that I was pregnant, story for another day...

Hope I didn't 'west' your time. Lols


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GIST 8

So, I have this little gist ma bros gist us when he return from burial and it make's everyone  laugh. So I decide to share with ma fellow bvs for IHGs.

 After burial in the evening time when some people is going home or to their base others stays back, you know how village burial is. The owner of the chairs started packing his chairs, one guy came to help him and there is this mad man he was also at the burial, so the mad man join them to pack chairs. 


After packing the owner of the chairs give them a thousand naira note to share that is the guy and the mad man. The guy collect the money and start looking for change but could not see change so the mad man ask the guy to give him the money to share, the guy gave him the money  he then tore it into two give the guy one part say, Were ego nke gi ( collect your money) the guy refuse he throw it on the ground and say again, oburu na I choro I were ego gi rapu ya, ewere gom nkem ( If you don't want to pick your money live it, I have collected my ). People around started laughing so hard.


Good luck to the winner...Winner will be announced next week.







104 comments:

School Life said...

Don’t make a woman cry!
There is nothing as expensive as a woman’s
tears.
When a single drop of tear comes out, it first
mixes with L’oreal Eye Liner: N7,500 and Revlon
Mascara: N8,500; then when it rolls down the
cheek, it mixes with Estee Lauder Foundation:
N11,000; Zaron Blush: N15,000 and Mac Powder:
N19,000.
Then, finally, when it touches the lips, it gets
mixed with Maybelline Lipstick: N12,000 and
Avonlip Gloss: N5,000.
A single drop of a woman’s tear is running for
about N78,000, so please, don't make her cry.
But you can make a man cry, it is only Vaseline:
N150 only.

Please for your vote to count, please comment with your ID. Tankio! Shoki ha shoki.

OluVee said...

I was single for three good years with no boyfriend cos I was the type with 'high taste'. I love my man Tall,dark,handsome and RICH. So many suitors keep coming but I declined them like plagues. Is either he is rich but has a bigger head than the body,too short for my liking,broke,got the height but ugly or not my standard.
I was like, as the pretty babe I am nah,I will never go for less. Afterall,i still get four years to reach 30 so time still dey.
There was this dude(James) that lives down my street that was on my case since secondary school days but I never gave him face, I hated him so much with passion cos he was a talkative, too short, broke,and had no means of livehood other than baba ijebu. He brags that he might be short but he's got a big long and fat thing under his boxers.
I block his calls all time I change my line but this guy no de gree o,he will always get the new one until I blocked his call on my final line. Most time our path cross,I'm always seeing him trying to get garri and groundnut. He says that's his best food. Yimu! That was what he could afford!
Three months ago,Sdk said we were gonna have our may snm edition. It was my first tho but I was so happy at least I'll get to meet my pick as I was already turning gwegs gwegs.
I wrote my profile(rich,tall,cute ),dropped my bbm pin,phone number and made sure I was among first top 5 to comment. Before I knew,I started getting adds on Bbm,lots of calls that I couldn't bear it anymore! But,this particular dude caught my attention . He pinged me,I didn't wanted to reply but his looks caught me! He was cute for days,you know that kind of cuteness that makes you 'cum' without doing the 'something'. He was based in the UK. He sent me pictures of him,his houses and cars and I Waoh like could this be for real? He was my kind of man. Mehn,I fell inlove instantly and imagined him kissing my sexy lips,getting married and sending my WnB to stella.
He said he was coming back to 9ja the following week and we agreed to meet in an hotel. All we ever did was voice notes,his Voice was the sweetest I ever heard,it got me falling in love the more
I couldn't hold my excitement,I thought to myself I am one lucky babe! But I have got not to disappoint too nah.
I went to the atm,withdrew the last 100K in my account,bought brazilian hair,a pair of trousers,sandals and a gown,different kinds of expensive perfumes and some other few things. Afterall,my new boo is so rich and has promised to spoil me badly and take me to the UK.
I got to the hotel which he had already booked a room but he was no where to be found. He assured me he would be back in the next 30 minutes cos he went to get some few things. I never minded since we've got three days to ourselves. I used the opportunity to search around but I couldn't find anything except two shirts in a bag. I didn't mind tho
After two hours of waiting and he re-assuring me of coming soon,I got so sleepy and doozed off.
Slept for an hour until I got woken up with kisses and felt my bwest pressed. That must be my boo I said to myself with a smile while my eyes were still closed.
Hell NO! This must be a nightmare,someone wake me Up! I thought I was dreaming.....

Alias!my uk boo was James!.....He reads Sdk blog, same number I used on snm has always been on his phone!
I fainted thrice!



Not a real life story but you guys should make me win 20k. I beg ooooo. James no vex. Lol

miss Aboki said...

lemme try...
There is a single mother in my lodge with a 3.5yrs old daughter.
A guy came to visit them one day and d mum was telling him she didnt cook food bcos of money issues bla bla bla...
Na so the girl just shouted "uncle is a lie! my mummy cooked food and hide it inside the locker"
The mother was sooo embarrased.

miss Aboki said...

Another one...
back in the days, my dad and his brothees were going to the farm when they came across this trailer that carries drinks that fell down.
That was how they drank themselves to stupor and poured some inside their water gourd. they wandered in the bush till almost midnight before staggering home. By then their worried father was organising a search party.
They came home singing incoherent tunes and got the beating of their lives. Till date my father doesnt touch alcohol even with a long spoon.

Side eyes at James...you know I am your personal person na. lol

cynthia chioma said...

Good afternoon SDK/ SDKERS.I Did not send mine to Stella but lemme post it here and pray luck shines on me shaaa... This happened few years ago during xmas period. My cousin got a big pay so he decided to take his friends out . You know that in every drinking gathering there is always one person who has no idea who is paying but drinks the most. In this case that guy happens to be P( yeah lets call him P) a friend to my cousin's friend,my cousin had no idea who he was but decided to buy drinks regardless(Xmas bonus i guess) this P guy became too excited, while others were still in their second bottles P was on his fourth...my cousin didn't mind as he came prepared and even though they were mixing the drinks with palm wine alongside other orisirisis, This P guy did not mind , he was still drinking like he had a bet with a shark,while hailing my cousin(calling him "the boss") even his friend was so ashamed he started apologising to my cousin on his behalf(codedly). After the "shayo" that afternoon, my cousin came back home and went straight to sleep...when it was evening time, I, my siblings and my cousin went to the village square to watch the evening football match and shockingly, we saw alot of people gathered in front of a chief's house which was very close to the village square. Trust me naa aproko no gree me... I had to see what was going on so i squeezed and squeezed through people till I was able to get a clear view, lo and behold P was lying dead drunk in front of the chief's house fast asleep in a pool of his own vomit(the orisirisis+ the fufu he ate that day)I no fit laugh. My cousin seeing him just pretended like he didn't know who P was ..u needed to see how hard my cousin was laughing...I didn't understand the sudden laughter and joy in him till he gave us the full gist of what the greedy dude did and how his greed played out to the fun of the whole village. P's family members were summoned to come pick him from where he lay. His younger brother and mother came and carried him away in a wheel barrow,while people left. The next day we heard that P had ran back to lag and its been 6 years now and no one has him in the villa.

Jasmine said...

Gist 2 and 3 but I vote for gist 3.

Gist 6, na wa 4 you o.

Ehi Human hairs and handmade wigs London said...

James oya come and give your verdict. Make sure your reasons is very robust,I know what you can do.

James said...

ROTFL

OluVee said...

*tears* would have sent mine too. To ur mail bt I never. Please post mine in the comment session,I might win. 20k is not a small ish,lol

Mao Akuh said...

uNA TRY

Cynhams Cakes & Pastries, Abuja. Home delivery. said...

Gist 2 and 5 are the same.

I like gist 2 and 6.

Since i have to vote for only one, i vote gist 2.

ololade Salaudeen said...

lol....my vote goes to goes gist 3.... children can be so naive

Gracious me said...

Hahahahaha, see gists oo
Stella gist 3 and 5 are the same thing. Anyway I vote gist 6. The small bwess palava. The writer wrote it well and its well presented and funnny, no gbagauns.

Mmaobong Israel said...

Gist one.



Bvs, pls come to my aid.
I am a single mother of one. Since I left calabar for lagos, it have been one hardship or the other. I have never known happiness since I entered this town. My aunty that I was staying with in ikeja threw me out years ago, I had no choice but to stay with my boyfriend which was how I got pregnant.
He paid rent for me in one place In ikorodu and for over a year, he has not been able to renew the rent. I now work as a cleaner in a school and earn 10000.(I couldn't find anything better since I'm just an ssce holder) From the 10000, I pay for my baby's creche fee in the same school. My baby and I survive on just 8000naira monthly. The father since doesn't stay in ikorodu doesn't go through what I go through with the landlord and landlady, especially the landlady. They have turned me to everyday sweeper of the house because I'm owing and can't complain. And just recently, they said I have to leave the house because I owe 30000 naira house rent.

I am frustrated, I don't know what to do, I don't know have anyone to help me. I am almost losing my mind. The only thing that keeps me sane is my 7months old daughter

kindhearted Bvs, pls come to my aid as you've helped others. All I want is to pay my rent. I can manage the 8000 naira monthly by feeding small small. Pls, I have no one anywhere, nobody that can help me. If they throw me out, I have no where to go. Please help save me and my little girl. Incase u want to contact me, my email is my email address plus Gmail address.

Thanks and may God bless u.

BLISS said...

The best gist is that of Facebook and her mother in law cos the gist never end.

Mama E said...

Only one or two gists meet the conditions above. Gist 6 and 7. See me thinking I will post mine in the comment section to win like last week. It is well.
Gist 6 wins this.

Bee10 said...

Gist 2 I vote for you!

IVORY said...

Gist 2 was the funniest for me. Gets my vote.

Didn't understand gist 4 at all.

Anonymous said...

James, a judge!? Um afraid none of them wud win oo. Hahahhah

Tush baby said...

Gist 4 and 7

Jack Brenda said...

I love gist 6 the most. Very funny but at least you for still dey talk with the girl. You can't expect the girl with such body to go about with tiny tits

Anonymous said...

Uh madam poster 2",how are u sure ur mother in law is not a bunch or maybe na even me, I just they wait till then sha

Catalina Naija said...

James kwa? Another trouble maker? Stella you take style like trouble lols.

No 6 is the winner, it meets the conditions for winning. I love well-written stories and not the likes of gist 8. Ogini ka ona ko kwa?

Megasam Aluminium Structural Engineers: accoboard,Partitioning,windows/doors, handrails,frontdesk casement,etc. 07036473947, 08115374578, twitter - @MegasamAluminum said...

Gist 6 did it for me

JAMES ADE said...

Hi stella, mehn you gat to be a sharp guy for lagos o.. Na so I enter bus from ojota to Ikorodu to pick some stuffs from a family friend o , NA so I enter the bus paid 100naira to Ikorodu, so the guy be give me one small paper like that which I br think sey e mean something coded or danger for me, na so I drop the paper jejely as I don hear sey Ikorodu na confra things yaapa there, make e no be like sey I don enter yawa be that, Fastforward to few minute when some new passenger be enter the vehicle, na him the conductor be ask me for paper and I com tell am sey I don throwaway paper, see as the conductor change am for me, sey na 50naira I pay, na him I soji sey the paper na to identify payment o, all eyes com full my body as the guy wan follow me drag o, me sef come turn igboro things but you need to see the yawa as the guy lift me up for inside bus, I just tell am sey make e take another 50naira, me Wey one Hand dey pain me , make conductor com break another one, maybe I for no dey get opportunity to type for this blog sef, make uNa hellep me thank God o

The Law said...

Me too
I vote gist 6
It was carefully written and also funny
Gist 7 also tried in terms of articulation but gist 6 wins.

Faithful woman said...

Very funny gists, d power of money

Gist 6

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Interesting jist,voted for the facebook story

Anonymous said...

Gist 6 you are wicked! You are the reason girls lie! So because she didn't have breasts you just ended the relationship just like that!? How I wish that was your wedding night....yeye.

School Life said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

G2&G5 are the same.

Trey Mama said...

Hahahaha, gist 1 and 6 got me laughing so hard.
Gist 8, that was just dry!
Really? James? Hehehe, would he recognize a well constructed sentence if it smacked him in the face?
Good luck to the posters.

Anonymous said...

Lol na gist 6 win am

Prolly *just me* said...

I vote for no 6
I enjoyed it

Debi said...

I vote for gist 6. The girl with the foam boobs lol

hetty moore said...

I vote gist 2, very funny and well put

Queen Elsa the Paramount Ruler of SDK Kingdom said...

Gist six and 7 are funny, /gst two tried but 6 did it
I vote gist 6

Barr. Oma said...

Some are really funny but I go for gist 4

SteffySoFynSoFly said...

I dint bother to read it the rest after reading gist three.am voting for gist 3

SteffySoFynSoFly said...

I dint bother to read the rest after reading gist three.am voting for gist 3

Folly Realwoman said...

Lolz lols
I laughed so hard @ some of the jists

Jist 6 is the winner
The foam 'bwess'

Omoge Manchester said...

The facebook lady for me. Which is gist2. U mistakenly posted it as no5 again.

ifeoma stephen said...

Gist 2 has my vote

stunning slim shady said...

*smilling* lovely ihg, I took my time to read all thru

Chikky said...

No 6 is my choice

Anonymous said...

G2&5 awaiting your chronicle.

Fresh Petals said...

No 6 meet all the conditions for winning
Gist no 6 wins this week.

Anonymous said...

Mtchew no too dry

Anonymous said...

I don't think I've heard a story so stupid in my whole life

Ozone said...

Trey mama you are wicked, James writes 'impeccable' English, why won't he recognize a well written story like gist 7 or 6? Lols
I vote gist 6

Anonymous said...

Stella James will eff up like 'D'royalty, why James na? Anon 14:06 of yesterday's ihn, hope your gist is not here, if it's here, you will not win IJN. Oloshi radarada.

Anonymous said...

Lol these scammers will never seize to amaze me, stories that touch, anyone that sends this person money should better still just flush the money down the toilet because I fell victim to one of these sdk beggars, the story was so pathetic and I had been meaning to do some charity because it was directed by my pastor in church, the story touched me that I had to contact the person to send her account number lo and behold the account number and name belonged to one of my former roommates I met up with her 3days later in school and told her what happens fearing the worst, she just laughed and said she needed to make new hair and buy cream and no money so he formed story and put on sdk since then. No way o

Can't be giving my money from my small business to people to use and buy Brazilian hair that even me I don't have

endurance ndidi said...

I vote gist two

Tokebee said...

Gist six is a good write-up, it's funny and sweet to read, not like some headache inducing ones I see up there. Gist 6 is the winner

One Nigeria said...

Gist Six all the wayyyy

Chisom Azubuike said...

This incident happened back in my university days, They was this very fine hot girl, whenever she passes when guys are gisting,na so the place will just be quiet like say they press the mute button, as a bad guy i is na "in Nkechi voice" i decided to try my luck, i started talking to her,later we became friends, i invited her to my room, b4 she came, i arranged my room like it was my last day on earth, drank alomo you know now, man needs to be extra active, later in the evening she came, if you see the happiness, you will think i won the 20k Stella want to give the winner, soon the main tin start, i put my ODOGWU inside her OTODO, my face just change, the place is as wide as ocean, very spacious and wide, but i was still doing my best, next tin Wey i hear, f"vk me hard, you are not good,prove to me you are a man,na so i just vex, i told her my mind, i was like see your OTODO don't have friction, no aliment, no magnet, it is wide, immediately i came to my senses,she said she want to go,she wore cloth and left. Since then whenever we see, will just pass each other without saying hello. It was just awkward. Abeg this 20k i must win am oo, have even borrowed 20k to solve some personal issues, thinking i wii pay back when i will this money. Lol

Chisom Azubuike said...

This incident happened back in my university days, They was this very fine hot girl, whenever she passes when guys are gisting,na so the place will just be quiet like say they press the mute button, as a bad guy i is now "in Nkechi voice" i decided to try my luck, i started talking to her,later we became friends, i invited her to my room, b4 she came, i arranged my room like it was my last day on earth, drank alomo you know now, man needs to be extra active, later in the evening she came, if you see the happiness, you will think i won the 20k Stella want to give the winner, soon the main tin start, i put my ODOGWU inside her OTODO, my face just change, the place is as wide as ocean, very spacious and wide, but i was still doing my best, next tin Wey i hear, f"vk me hard, you are not good,prove to me you are a man,na so i just vex, i told her my mind, i was like see your OTODO don't have friction, no aliment, no magnet, it is wide, immediately i came to my senses,she said she want to go,she wore cloth and left. Since then whenever we see, will just pass each other without saying hello. It was just awkward. Abeg this 20k i must win am oo, have even borrowed 20k to solve some personal issues, thinking i wii pay back when i will this money. Lol

Anonymous said...

And thesame James is the one to determine the winner. James pls pity her atleast let her recover 20k from the money spent on looking good cos of u

Adadioramma said...

Will be back

Anonymous said...

I've always known that this James is a jobless mofo, so na baba ijebu u dey always play, thought you work at the garage, it's good to know

QUEEN AMY Loves Sisi Eko and Stella Asemota said...

Lol@ gist one

Anonymous said...

Gist one and three for me but I go with gist one. THE ONE

Anonymous said...

Lolz

Anonymous said...

Gist 1

Anonymous said...

Gist No 6

Jack Brenda said...

Very funny.... That's to show you how ladies are expensive

Anonymous said...

Ha, the things FIN will do to homes in this obodo naija ehn. Hmmmmm, make I close my mouth before they descend on me. O diegwu, mensurate under my comment nd d thunder, the thunder that will fire you will descend on u like a one minute man.

Jack Brenda said...

Anonymous 16:12... Na true talk, abeg James pity her

D'Royalty (SDK'S BLOG BFF) said...

School life, Jack Brenda and Oluvee
None of you will win. With the way you all were spilling bitterness on Wednesday and Thursday against me, I'm sure it's one of you that went anon to cuss Stella on yesterday's Ihn. Bitter fools..

Jack Brenda said...

GIST 6 ALL THE WAYYY.... WHO SAY E NO FUNNY THAT PERSON NA MUMU... I LOVE THE WELL TYPED SENTENCES.... NO SINGLE MISTAKE UNLIKE THOSE PEOPLE WITH RUBBISH BLUNDER THEY CALLED ENGLISH.. I GO VOTE GIST 6 AGAIN AND AGAIN... I LOVE YOU BOO

Anonymous said...

Gist 2&5 I see you sis! At FIN we don't yell or share.your mother in.law no ho talk so relax.she knows the rules.please reactivate your account please.

Anonymous said...

Gist2,you are such a liar!!!! You never posted such in that group!! Moreso,who begged you to join that wonderful group if you can't keep your secret-secret. Beggar beggar....msheeeew. Silly oloshios Onye biri be, get out of FIN. It's not for women like you. I will make an open disgrace of you.

Mmaobong Israel said...

Anon. Please why are u doing this? Did someone really dupe u or u just make up the story to discourage helpers? If someone really did that to u, then I'm really sorry for your loss but I'm very real, that's why I used my full name that will definitely tally with my account number. I have never used Brazilian so I can not come on a blog, embarrassing myself just because of weavon.

Anonymous said...

Anon you are a liar please don't fabricate stories to spoil another person's hustle.this is not the first time I am reading this begging story

OluVee said...

I only used his name,never knew he would be the jugde this week.

James said...

I will do a wonderful job

CHINEL® said...

my gist goes like this, while growing up I use to be very mischievous coupled with we lived in a face me I face u with a general toilet and bathroom. I went to toilet one day and while coming out knocked in the next toilet and heard my friends voice, I used the key hanging on the lock nd locked the toilet and came out she was shouting I should open it but I refused and playfully went to our house only for me to fall asleep the next 10mins. Her mum looked for her everywhere and didn't see her I woke up later and started playing with other kids only for the mum to come to our house to report me to my dad. my dad called and asked if I locked some1 in the toilet and I shouted ewooooooo and rushed out immediately to go and unlock her my dad called me back and gave me the beating of my life with her mum and her standing there while I was been flogged I told the girl that I won't play wit her again and what she answered makes me to laugh years later she said she just slept in the toilet ooo and she didn't want her mum to know so I can continue playing with her, I was busy crying

Anonymous said...

Cos na u send gist 3

Anonymous said...

Oluvee u want to win 20k with that dry gist of yours, not even a single vote from an ID just you hyping urself using anonymous and jack brenda to plead with JJames., you want him to do ojoro ne?mctcheeeew how will u even prove ursef if u win with ur semi-anonymous Id?

MacSpeedy said...

This gist 6 guy mumu gahn o!! Shet mehn!!! So the geh off pant you no do, na toh dey investigate bwess na im consain you. At least you go nack first check later. You be real okobo (in Ibadan accent).

Anonymous said...

JACK BRENDA KEEP HYPING UR STUPID GIST AINT NO BODY GAT TIME FOR THE FORGED GIST

MacSpeedy said...

I vote for gist 1, it was funny and had a good message attached to it. Her delivery was nice too, even though she made one grammatical blunder (...I was "herding" to).

Blossom said...

Gist 3 for me.

Anonymous said...

I vote for gist 1, but try to make proper use of your vocabulary next time

beeolah said...

I vote gist 3
Someone should add me to fin pls

Sam said...

Jack brenda is not the poster of gist 6, I'm a man and I have been sending in gists long before now. Pls don't spoil my show, the 20k will save lives if won by me. I carefully edited it like I usually do to my gists to make it an interesting read. Thanks.

Leona said...

Gist 6

Jenny Ekwe said...

Lmfao..funniest gist ever.
P is just a serious mumu

I vote for gist Cynthia Chioma.

Jenny Ekwe said...

Yimu.
You will win,you hear?
Just be waiting deir..

Eno said...

Gist 6 is very intreSting, I vote gist 6.

Victoria Omosuyi said...

I vote gist 4

Victoria Omosuyi said...

Not only 'herding' she also said as 'faith' would have it instead of 'fate'. She tried. No one is above mistake.

Waterlilly Reloaded said...

Gist six is the best
I enjoyed reading it

Adadioramma said...

Gist 5

TRD said...

Lols. I love 1, 6 and 7
But gist 6 gets my vote

onyii debby said...

I vote gist 3.....so funny

Bebe said...

Get an ID or use your email address as your name.

Anonymous said...

Miss Aboki, why don't u come out straight and beg for money? I ve noticed that you are so broke that you are now begging stylishly on the blog. With your bad mouth we still have good peoople who will help You.

I'veBeenTouchedByAnAngelWithLove said...

My vote goes to gist number two
*God bless my Angel in human form*

Anonymous said...

Me neither

OluVee said...

Who's spilling bitterness against u when u're already a bitter person. If I don't win does that make it d end of life n for ur info,I will never go anon to cuss stella,never in my life! Will she kill me if I use my name? I told u already to keep shut n let this issue rest bt it seems d 20k is still sharking you. U're indeed d biggest fool of sdk

OluVee said...

Babe, I'll never go anon to hype myself. Life aint that serious,I got no time for that k

sugarwhip said...

James it's gist four. E funny die

Anonymous said...

Ha ahh na fight. We show luv in FIN. We dnt judge pls!

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