Hmmmm.....Every young woman out there seems to be looking for some kind secure future..which is good!
NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
LEAVING A BROKE ASS BOYFRIEND FOR 'GREENER PASTURE'
Hi Stella, I'm a big fan of your blog. I'm 22 and I'm a Corps member. I'm in a relationship with a guy I love so much. He's 23 and will be serving next year April. We started dating when we were in our final year after being close friends for a year.
I am very sure my boyfriend loves me so much and he is the only one I'm comfortable around and open my entire mind to (I'm a chronic introvert). Our relationship has been filled with love and understanding but he is not financially stable to take care of my needs which makes the relationship boring.
We do not get to go out, no gift on vals day or on my birthday, he can't even afford to buy me a nice meal (yh, he's that broke).
This issue is the only reason why we fight a lot in the relationship. I'm really confused whether to leave him so I can find a 'greener pasture'. My friends are in a relationship with financially stable men and it makes me embarrassed
Another thing I'm scared of is cos my parents marriage was a disaster, my dad was poor when my mum was dating him but she decided to struggle with him till he was ok but my dad ended up cheating on her when he was rich and now they are separated. I'm scared that history might repeat itself again. I am really sure my bf loves me, he's a really matured guy and very faithful plus hardworking but you know how the future can be filled with uncertainties.
Please I need your advice.
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
TAKING A RISK WITH A JOBLESS EDUCATED BOYFRIEND
please I need your sound counsel (your very faithful red pen) and the realistic, sometimes brutal advice of BV's.
I will be 24, in a few months and I have a decent job by some standards, I am in a relationship with an amazing man who is in his early 30's. I met him at a time when I had completely surrendered the wheel of my destiny to God.
God answered my prayers and much more in this man, I'm not saying he is perfect and neither am I but we compliment each other. He has a Masters degree(first class) and he is presently running his PH.D program but no job. I have never met anyone as hardworking as he is, he takes his research work really seriously I'm talking pulling all nighters everyday, reading and doing research in his field. He is not a lazy man, when he is not studying or doing his research he does blue collar jobs to make some money.
Stella every week he applies to over 12 universities on an average for jobs, he applies for scholarships to schools abroad but all to no avail, believe me when I say we have prayed, we have fasted. I know this is one of those painful delays that we must face as individuals in our journey in life. He has asked me to be patient with him, he tells me that this is a phase in his life and that soon he will get a job but my parents don't see it that way.
They are telling me to start considering other options, that with the way the economy is going there is no telling when he will get job.
Stella I love this man and I am fully committed to our relationship, he has a lot of potential and I know that someday he will make a wonderful husband and an amazing father but what if my parents are right? what if this phase of his life never goes away. As it is we cant get married until he has a good job, my parents will not hear of it.
Stella, BV's please I need your counsel do you think I'm taking a risk considering that there is no telling when he will get a job? or do you think that sticking with him and standing firm on my resolve to be patient with him is a healthy decision?