Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Premediated Cheating...

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Monday, 19 September 2016

Premediated Cheating...

This is for the Ladies alone whilst the men read...

Why do you plan to cheat?..YOU PLAN!






Hi Stella,

I think this will make for a good discussion for your "couch talk" .....


I saw the attached comment some days back and being that my woman did something similar to me and also my friends and colleagues went through ‎similar experiences so I would love us to discuss this "on the couch"




Now to the ladies in the house, why all the drama, why don't you come out plain and have the discussion up front with your man? 

What's the assurance that the other guy you're going to cheat with is down to get married immediately? 

Why risk throwing away everything you've spent time building? 
Why risk hurting the person you claim you love?

In my own case, she cheated on me with someone else who I honestly don't think had any immediate plans of marriage and who did not even love her. Now this is someone I've spent three years with and she practically knows everything about me from finances down to family and plans for the future. I have decided to forgive and try again with her but am I really gonna be able to completely forgive and trust her??


Anonymous BV



194 comments:

Loveme Jeje said...

Why ladies plan to cheat?

1. if you have a small carrot, me i will cheat.

2. No future ambition (NBA)

3. No money and you only have six packs... i will carry my kaya

4. I always love handsome men. Ugly men put me off. Make una no vex

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

Why should a lady spend more than a year with a man? Is relationship an investment?

Why should men have the license to cheat?

If a lady feels cheating on her cheating bf will ease the pain she feels, she should do it.

I don't believe in cheating so I don't attract cheaters to myself

barbie micheal said...

I think the greatest reason women cheat is when they start feeling. Neglected And unloved in their relationship... if men become very open, and always assure their woman how much they love her, then there will be less women cheating, except the ones that came with the HO Factory setting

nzube izuu said...

Na waooo! Everything one does in life must be planned. Why should cheating be an exception? One needs to plan well now else one will get caught. Inukwa?

Anonymous said...

The only time I think I will make such plan is if my spouse cheat on me. I will also cheat back so I can feel less hurt and we move on like nothing happened

Nwa AMAKA said...

Living a sinful life should not be a topic for discussion.
Women should know that "bete suya bete suya bu na ahu nama"
Marriage is honourable so when you are discussing how to remain a virgin let me know.
#teamvirgin

Euphemia u said...

she can still be forgiven alone the line if truly she has changed

stunning slim shady said...

All d cheats ngwa fall in.

Anonymous said...

Can someone please tell me the best time to send SDk a mail for IHN. Thanks

Anonymous said...

This sounds so familiar, my husband whom I've know for many years and trusted cheated on me.I found out and a part of me died.he says he is sorry hut how can I ever trust him again. The emotions I feel ranged from anger, disappointment, disgust, revenge, hurt, self pity, inferiority complex and it goes on like a cycle. How can I believe he's sorry. A part of me says he's sorry for being caught because I believe he's just more careful with his actions. Watching his back more and phone well. I wonder if that's what he should be doing now or trying to make this marriage work. I've thought of leaving, I don't think I can stay married to someone I can't trust and not doing anything to earn my trust. Cheating is just horrible. It kills the hurt victim. It's a horrible thing to do.

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

Came to read comments

JACINTA MBACHU said...

Lolz @small carrot

Anonymous said...

Cheating has nothing to do with expecting the other guy to marry you.
My boyfriend is a nerd and unromantic. We rarely go out or do fun things but he's also kind, decent, a big giver, faithful and respectful, Those are qualities I admire. I do like him a lot but he is so boring. So, I go on harmless dates with other guys for fun and for my own sanity.


MISS Jacobs.

Nwa AMAKA said...

I really don't know why a lady will spend more than 6 months with a guy.I don't get it.

Alabi Ganiyat said...

Once a cheat, always a cheat no matter the circumstances... My two cents.

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

My neighbors have been fighting since morning, because the man caught the woman again sleeping out. Thean isn't always in Lagos.

Owerri women n cheating... 5 n 6

Anonymous said...

Lmaoooo at d comments from women.we plan cos we are not impulsive like men,who dive in head first and get caught.thereby leading to wahala.That being said....cheating is a messed up thing to do.it feels like a knife going through the heart when you find out.

Adadioramma said...

You eeh, make the six packs replace the finance part nah. Hahahaha, make I read comment sha. As for the anonymous post, 6years is much o, what if he eventually leave her? Or make her perpetual Lord of rings? Abeg think outside the box Nne.

PURITY GOODNEWS said...

Yea ur right

Sassy 'Meruche' Fire said...

I kinda understand the girl that dropped that comment cuz I've been in a similar situation.
I mean,when you've spent more than half a decade with someone,it's only natural you'd want to know where the relationship is headed,you'd want to spend the rest of your life with that person,you start picking out baby names in your head.
Now when the other party is not forthcoming,it's really heartbreaking.I'm not trying to justify her action,but I understand if she'd want to look elsewhere.
You make it sound like it's so easy to talk about poster.Let me ask you,how many girls do you think will be bold enough to broach the topic without being perceived as desperate by her man?It's not as easy as you think my dear.

PURITY GOODNEWS said...

Yea ur right

Mother Confessor The real deal on sdk. said...

We plan on cheating because men are so stupid. You keep a lady for 5 years without talking marriage. I will so cheat on you ehh.

Sonia said...

Gbam!

Stella maris Baby said...

Who cheating help???

St.FranKooL.... said...

#You can’t change how people feel about you, so don’t try. Just live your life and be happy*

Anonymous said...

I and my iyawo dated for 8 years, she cheated on me and when I kept on asking her about it, she told me the truth and then she told me what I wasn't doing right so I improved myself, I married her because she told me the truth and then we moved on. If you can forgive genuinely then the pain would go away. Some women will never tell you, they would carry that secret to their graves. As a man, improve yourself, dress well, speak well, be smart, smell well, listen more and please work hard, women love good things so work hard.

1nigeriangirl said...

Lol love me jeje you sef

1nigeriangirl said...

Bhet i want longterm o. 1year is too short. I need to know all your demons

1nigeriangirl said...

Exactly, reassurance is key

Anonymous said...

Ladies do "revenge cheating"; they have jumped into conclusion about the man cheating, and it will always backfire;

The way to hell is paved with good -yes, I said it. After all, we were told that it is broad whereas that of heaven is narrow (that means difficult to access).
I will give you the same piece of advice I gave my friend (let's call her Ada). She was hurt because her husband fucked her bridesmaid and even made "porn" out of it. I asked her, "are you going to divorce him", she said "no". (mind you, the man was remorseful, which she also admitted.) Then I said, "work it out, pray it out, wait it out . . . be calm and let him try to decode you etc." She instead grabbed an ex's penis and sucked and fucked. This was an ex that was hurting from being dumped for the "rich guy". Now, when she eventually made up with her hubby, she dumped the ex again; bad move. The guy sent "everything" to both her phone and the husband's phone and even the phone of her pastor whom they both had had counsel from and earthquakes began. Her marriage was over in less than 24 hours. She couldn't attend church again, she slipped into major depression, lost her job and so on. Mind you that she had her hubby's porn on her phone too. But no one was interested in that one.

Anonymous said...

Cheating is when you have premarital sex.
Cheating is when you have extramarital sex.
Cheating is sexual immorality; you are cheating on God your creator.
Say no to sex before marriage and have peace.
Identify with Christ and receive the grace to say no.

Anonymous said...

Yes I plan to because I've been cheated on.
Nobody has a monopoly of cheating.

Eka Joy said...

One who plans to cheat doesn't get caught but one who cheats without planning gets caught- - -Eka joy 2016

Jasmine said...

Stella, Lust!!!

We make new friends and then get very very close to some and start imagining what it will be like to av sex with the person and one day, u'll damn the consequence and do it.


So Lust!!!

Anonymous said...

For the man, cheating is all about sex; which ends after a few minutes. For the ladies, the trouble with cheating starts after the sex;
Some will be checking their periods like a pot of soup on fire! And most times it backfires with the evidence; pregnancy, being dumped, abortions, death.
Yes, lost a very dear friend to "abortion and death" after a one off sex in which she collected some dollars.. . and of course had hoped to keep the man for marriage. I had seen the dollars in her handbag after she died. It was intact. To think that she did not even spend the money she so "worked for" was so nauseating. For us ladies, sex is not all about pleasure, it is all about emotion and we hold the key to say no else it will be termed rape.

EESAH (Christ Lover) said...

Hmmm And I wonder why people keep saying they cheated by mistake. All acts of cheating is premeditated. Don't let any one deceive you. A mistake is something you do thinking it was right, but it was wrong. But cheating is something you know it's wrong, but still do it anyways..calculatedly and premeditatedly with ur 5+1 senses active

Blackberry said...

When u cheat on ya woman, be very afraid if she doesn't utter a word, keep it at d back of ur flimsy mind that u r being punished in ways u will never know.

Ammie said...

I cheat spontaneously
Is that okay?
Cos it seems you only have a problem with premeditated cheating and not cheating generally

Anonymous said...

A lady recently lost her marriage to cheating. Her husband according to her has been cheating for long, though she had no evidence. The day she "reciprocated", her marriage was over. Just a month after that incident, the man has fixed a traditional wedding date. She has been pleading to come back; no husband, no kids, no job

Cherry Wine said...

I am not understanding, must you date a girl for 20 years before you know its time to settle down? That's bs.. You don't want to marry and do everything right, you just want free cookie, everything oshofree, mtcheww πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’

Chummy cho cho said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Its called not putting all your eggs in one basket..

Godiya loves Linda Eze, Portable Viv and Atheist said...

Ideato, ur 3rd point is exactly the reason why I will cheat

Chidinma Gift said...

For me some women cheat because of the following reasons
* the partner doesn't satisfy her sexually
* he is too busy, women like attention and care
* she met someone else more physically attractive
* some cheat out of desperation, they feel the bobo doesn't want to get serious and perhaps the next bobo might want to settle ASAP and hence don't want to put their eggs in one basket
* lastly some cheat because they wanna make quick money and the guy in question might not be that rich, lemme use myself as an example, I know how many sexual advances I've gotten since i got married, the worst is that they all know am married but because they've seen that i don't have a job and dh being a state worker and being owed i will fall for it, but thank God for his grace...

There no excuse whatsoever to cheat, i detest cheating, if you can't tolerate any thing in your relationship just take a way.

Robyna Fenty said...

Cheating may not actually mean sex tho. It may mean,she will start giving out her number to guys if they ask, start "talking" to other guys, going on dates etc. It may involve actually comparing and contrasting. If she finds someone that's ready to give her what she wants, she can then decide to walk out. I hope thats what she meant cos she shld know that sleeping with someone won't make them "wife" you up.

Babyface Assassin said...

Lmao!

Anonymous said...

Superstory. It shows the man is useless. She can forgive him but he cant forgive her?

Babyface Assassin said...

You're a good man @ 14:03.
God bless you

Anonymous said...

Team virgin? Thought ure married. Are u really bipolar as they always call u? Just an innocent question

Pweety G said...

Hahahahahahhahhahahahahah...you are crazy jare

Robyna Fenty said...

Nothing like accidental cheating. When you didn't slip and fall inside her vagina or slip and land on his dick. Just say you are deeply sorry. Not, it was a mistake.

PORTABLE VIV the beautiful n sexy queen of sdk blog said...

Ok,I will read comments.....
But,what will a sensible,intelligent n a beautiful lady be doing with a guy 3/6yrs?
A year or two is ok but 3,4,5,6 etc?
So what happens after cheating on the dude? You continue wasting your time him?

PORTABLE VIV the beautiful n sexy queen of sdk blog said...

Sorry....

Babyface Assassin said...

@ 14:05, the babe...odi very stoopid!

Babyface Assassin said...

Amen!

Quiksilver said...

Lol

Robyna Fenty said...

Nah. Sometimes we are horny and want sex. Bae isn't around and there's someone you fancy that can "scratch that itch. Or you run into an ex that you know can lay the pipe well and most importantly will shut the fuck up.Other times its just curiosity. Everything isn't about emotion. Some babes will sleep with you and give you straight face the next day. Some girls are cold.

Babyface Assassin said...

Exactly!

Tilly said...

You hit the nail on the head. Women need affection the same way a man needs respect.

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

Y date for 5 years

PLATINUM said...

Wen u hv a man, and after the initial loveydovey stage in a relationship u start treating her in a way that says if u want to stay u stay, if u wanna leave u leave. That is wen she starts making plans to leave or cheat. Men are tge most incomprehensible creatures ever, they dont wnt u to knw they love u so much, they start telling stuffs like dont put all ur trust in me n such bullshit. Abeg o, wen u tell a person not to put all their trust in u, wat r u indirectly telling her n u blame her if she cheats? Poster, whether u accept her bck or not is upto u .this is no longer an era of if u love sometin set it free, this is an era of if u love sometin ji de sia nya ike.

Robyna Fenty said...

What if they are young? If you start dating at 20 will you marry at 21? If he is young like her that's like 8 yrs of dating. It's people that are desperate or a bit old that date for less than a year and also those extremely lucky people that find their soul mate and connect instantly.

Sassy 'Meruche' Fire said...

@1nigeriangirl,my dear you can't know everything about someone.No matter how long you date the person.

Sassy 'Meruche' Fire said...

Lmao,you think so?

Anonymous said...

"being that my woman did something similar to me"... Sorry Stella, a bit puzzled by this comment. Not that it's any of my business but just out of curiosity, are you a lesbian?

Sassy 'Meruche' Fire said...

I totally agree with you.

Anonymous said...

If you dont get caught, you didnt do it. Plan well and cheat.

Anonymous said...

Spot on girl...you're so right

Anonymous said...

Best comment... chop kiss

annabella said...

This barbie sense use to sweet me one kain... preach it!!

Queen of Queens said...

All cheating is premeditated. We cheat in relationships that leave us feeling unsatisfied. Could be sexually, emotionally, physically, etc. A satisfied woman will barely ever cheat.

Anonymous said...

Premeditated Cheating!!! I m getting married in 3months to a man who treats me right. He's everything I want in a man but the sex - Nothing Special. No romance, not even kissing. He will just rub/suck my boobs a lil & slide in his Kondo..maximum 10/15mins, we done. I can't even dream of getting a head. He's rich sha.. Spoils me silly. But I need to be fucked till I become a rag doll. I ve always had crazy lovers that we usually fucked like porn stars but none was good enough as a husband. Now I m thinking of cheating with a girl since I m bi (perhaps the guilt will be less) I can't bring myself to cheat with a man eventhough I m tempted to do an ex who can fuck like Mandingo. I was circumcised. I hardly cum even with my porn star exes except I do a girl or masturbate. But one time (b4 fiance) I fucked an old man and I let go.. I rode him like a horse with my big clit rubbing him with all the wetness and I cummm. I turned to a jelly fish. Now I don't allow fiance to even do me again cos I always fee hornier* after the deed.
I met a lesbian on snm.. We are yet to hook up. I m scared of cheating especially on a good man.I love the fact that sex means lil to him sha. Overall, I will score him 70%especially when he gives me doggy. It s just me. The crazy guys I have fucked in the past.
God please don't let the devil use me. Amen!!!!!!
#ConfusedGirl

Adaorah said...

Na from clap them dey enter dance. My hubby is like your boo and those qualities are fine by me. Who has romance epped? My kids will be smart and I won't have to deal with potential babymamas and stds. Used to think like you but the truth is they need to be shown. Do the taking out and happening stuff. He'll follow suit

Anonymous said...

Pls park out of your matrimonial home.

Anonymous said...

Ho alert.

Rob said...

Cheating is sweet. The fun of fucking someone behind your partners back is awesome and the adrenalin rush that comes with When having an orgasm is priceless

Blackberry said...

Eka ,chop kiss.

Tayan Taylor said...

Leave the marriage. Are you ok naw

Anonymous said...

Not all ladies, I have sex for fun, before the man cleans mouth, I've moved on.

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

Team #Recycled Virgin

Aeegurl... said...

For money, money,money.
Runs outta post.

Anonymous said...

The woman is a fool. As a woman, don't cheat with ur heart, cheat with you eyes wide open, hiding in plain sight is d key.

Tayan Taylor said...

Lol,how could she be so stupid to be caught, even if a man cheat multiple times nd the world knows,the moment the woman dose the same nd is suspected not even caught her marriage is sinking, then when she is caught goodbye to the marriage, nobody will support her or be against the man

Anonymous said...

thumbs up blackberry.....Ur head dey dia

Tush baby said...

Hmmmmmm vengeance is mine says thee Lord but she took the revenge herself. See where it landed her

Anonymous said...

I caught my partner of 7 years cheating...i was angry, hurt and depressed. The funniest thing is that he didn't even apologise, instead he blamed me for going through his phone. I planned on cheating back cos he wasn't even giving me attention. The man i planned on cheating with had nothing to offer me, no money. .. no commitment. If I had done it, i would have ended up getting used twice. In the end i went to God through prayers...God vindicated me. It is hubby now begging for forgiveness.

Tayan Taylor said...

Lol,how could she be so stupid to be caught, even if a man cheat multiple times nd the world knows,the moment the woman dose the same nd is suspected not even caught her marriage is sinking, then when she is caught goodbye to the marriage, nobody will support her or be against the man

Tush baby said...

HIV Aids is real as u decide to have multiple sex partners.

Chiamaka L said...

I am naturally a one man woman, but I will so cheat/ dump your sorry ass if you
1) Start taking me for granted.
2) If you think you have the exclusive right to cheat
3) If I no longer feel you (though I will let you know)
4) If you are dishonest

For me, when I cheat, it is a clear sign that the relationship is over and I do not cry over split milk.
Poster, cheating doesn't mean we think the next guy is better. It just means there are options.
That said, If you as a lady have a faint heart, do not try cheating as a way to gain your man's attention.

Star said...

I don't understand how ladies attribute their cheating to a partner 's action. Cheating should be based on satisfaction of one's self at a particular point in time not on a man.

After, una go dey form feminist #my anal canal.

I am not an advocate of any form of cheating. However, if I want to cheat; it will be to satisfy my self first and not as a revenge tool.

Anonymous said...

@ Nwa Amaka, your comments are really pitiful but I also understand that you can't give what you don't have. Marriage is a different ball game, it's a covenant NOT a contract (google the difference) and you'll begin to see why the wait is not necessary but CRITICAL. There's no I don't want again, there's no I want something different...once you make that mistake or investment (whatever marriage is to you), there's no going back. There's a street saying...start selling by 25 or expire by 30, the earlier you start preparing for marriage, the more time you have to add & subtract. Not when you feel the world is caving in on you and your biological clock is about to explode, you start looking for who you'll rush into eternity. Unless you & your partner don't have a plan and either one is crook-minded, I don't see the rush. I've known my spouse for 7 years, dated for 5 years, married for 2 years with 2 kids & we still have issues & quarrels but we all find a way to move beyond it. I'm talking from experience not hearsay

XOXO MYSTERY said...

Enough with these sexist comment.
A lady cheated and lost everything, men cheat and lose nothing?

I am yet to know what Tchidi Chikere lost after cheating on the ex-wife numerous times and marrying one of his side chics.

We like to place one 'unwarranted' curse on ladies cheating but we would excuse a man's own by saying 'all men cheat'.

Whenever a woman cheats, if they don't twist the story so it would end like she is suffering somewhere, people will not rest.

Monogamy is for marriage and not relationship and even at that, it is still arguable.

KING XOXO MYSTERY

ukwu dimond said...

reading comment.

Anonymous said...

If neglected + unloved = cheating, does it mean every time your partner isn't around and not checking up on you per say and y'all are fighting...you cheat? Sounds juvenile and dumb to me

Anonymous said...

If you cheat to get even you're doing greater harm to yourself because you're still hurting from his actions, you're stuck with the guilt of your actions & possibly STD, you're probably tagged as another body count by the person you slept with coz there's nothing binding y'all expect the sex

MOTHER NATURE........ said...

Mr man please have several seats biko. What do you mean by "Why not come out plain to discuss it"? Hian!! Why should a man date a woman for more than a year without making efforts to marry her? Oga as a matter of fact I encourage young ladies to dump their useless boyfriends once he is not forth coming with marriage proposals within one year of courtship.

You men are wicked. You will be fucking people's daughters and using them as helps then after years of using them that is when you guys will know she is not right for you, your pastor said she is not your wife, your mother does not want any girl outside your tribe etc. I call that bullshit!

Any lady that cheats on her boyfriend I will hail like say 2morrow no dey. The men can cheat right? Pass mark yeah? Good! Same should be applied to women. If any guy is not ready to wife a lady just one year into their courtship abeg make him shift for another man to come take over. Time waits for no man.

Oga, sorry for your lose but next time be a man and better do the needful before she exists finally from your life. Nothing dey bush oh so don't expect to see any bird there.

Asoge Atelier said...

God bless u. You are very mature. People really don't know the power of truth.

lovetoloveu said...

Lol

Imported Suzzy Lalaagbon said...

Y have a rtship wt someone who's carrying a small carrot in the first place when you don't like eating small carrot..?!

I think women should date/have an affair/marry whoever they can tolerate.

But for me o, like the poster's sample stated, most men get too comfy and stop doing what they did to get the 'YES' and that's the only reason y 'I' wl leave or cheat...cos believe it or not, even if u carry belle.. guys wl still toast you.
We need the attention always when you stop giving us attention, we get attracted and enticed by the ones giving it outside.

lovetoloveu said...

Tayan that wasn't nice. She just expressed how hurt she feels you know.if you have been pinched by the shoes that hurt her you won't be so abrupt

Jirade said...

Life comes packed with challenges. How do you raise your children to be strong in the face of challenges if you break in the presence of one yourself? You can never know the value of love if you don't accept the hurts. Let me tell you the most stupid thing. You'll definitely hate it. "Why not go to God in prayer?" Let Him help you handle your pain, your hurt. Bare your heart to Him. What you need to love your husband again is 'forgiveness'. But you can not do it alone, to forgive is divine. You need strength from above. I pray the Lord helps you now.

Cherry Wine said...

Not everybody cheats ✌

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

If u are 20 date a 29-33 year old! Marry at 21-23,

date n change guys if they are not your wish.

Don't date for too long

Ensure you marry early and start bearing children without so much pain.

Robyna Fenty said...

I am not seeing the problem Miss Jacobs.
Nerd ✔
Kind ✔
Faithful ✔✔
Respectful ✔✔✔
Big giver✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔✔
As long as you aren't cheating on him carry on. Who romance help? Catch fun with your female friends.

Anonymous said...

Choi 😳😳😳

Anonymous said...

It's a common occurrence on this blog for girls to call guys broke and you are one of the main culprit. Rich madam, what do you do for a living? If you are not rich then don't look for a man as the way out of poverty. Go hustle too!

my opinion said...

The earlier u lot learnt to ENJOY relationships without crazy expectations of marriage, the better for u all!

Cheat as in fuck another person? Will it bring the satisfaction u seek???

If u are not happy in a relationship, BREAKUP! Enough of all these counting years nonsense!

Why isn't Oprah pressuring her partner for marriage???

Marriage is good o, don't get me wrong! But there are better things to worry about than that life long bondage! If it happens, be happy! If it doesn't, be happy! Just live everyday like it was your last and create GOOD memories! not all these silly worries...

Anonymous said...

Thanks Jirade, thand for your comment. I've turned to God, it's still hurt. I'm only human. It hurts so much because this is something you think will never happen to you.

DonMayor said...

See this one. You are a cheat.

DonMayor said...

Cheating is part of you already, that's why.

Anonymous said...

See this liar. What do you hope to gain by lies?
You were circumcised yet you have big clit. Mumu.

BonaParte NN said...

Wat guilt?
I think a good way to get over cheating is cheating,(may not be the best way). Sounds stupid but a cheated woman feels 1) Neglected 2) Self pity which leads to either a break-down or itch for vengeance... When you cheat back, it eliminates no 2. You cheated too so you dont sit at home weeping how you were taken for granted when you gave your all and was a good woman bla bla. You know you yourself are doing same atleast. Lol. It has been proven to improve the psyche, so one doesnt break down.

HOWEVER,
Its complex...
Especially with one sided love

Imagine if you cheat on a man to get his attention, to make him angry and bitter and know your value and dude aint even feeling you or didnt even care and says "its alright! I know what you did, just be careful!"
PAINS!!

Or you cheat on a man with someone that just did you and you dont even consider him as cool as your boyfriend or hubby only to discover that your man is deeply deeply in love with the side woman; he's texting her, crying in the toilet when she doesn't pick his calls, calling her name in his sleep. He aint just cheating, your man is smitten and dying of love!! PAINFUL!!!
HURTFUL!
Lol. Your whole world will swirl and nope, that little cheating you did wont save you from this pain.


So, I think the best steps to get over cheating is when the cheating partner is sorry and willing to change AND you who was offended bend the knee to your creator to ask for peace of mind or bow in Yoga to find inner peace or its equivalent.

BonaParte NN said...

*were offended

ALINCO NONI said...

God Bless you @1nigeriangirl. Anon 15:27 You just said my mind. I hate it when I see reasonable comments under Anon.

DonMayor said...

Greedy ass. Your chronicle is loading.. 10%

tolulope oladele said...

you are very right...u have said it all... we ladies love attention...

PLATINUM said...

*woman

BonaParte NN said...

Lolzzz

HADEEJAH said...

When the guy is not caring.

Ajagbe adeola hannah said...

Dear sassy, thanks for this o. Seeiously, this is a very delicate topic. I have known my own bf for 10yrs, and dated him for 10yrs, in the 20yrs, we've had issues, going on and off. Let me say we have a 1yr breach. Now, that leaves us with 9yrs. Last year, I started to talk to him about marriage. All these years, I wasn't ready,and last year, I was ready. He said he understood and that I have "tried". Now, I told him it's not abt try but he shld let me know what his plans are, even though we had a plan or say plans that didn't work cos he doesn't live here. Now, abt the partner thinking you are desperate, it boils down to what the motive of the relationship was in the first place and your understanding. We both knew we had passed that stage when one of us will think the other desperate, and so, that is a rule out. Now, we've been having issues, as regards settling down and what the plans are,we ain't in good shape now cos we didn't think our plans won't work. It's hard, trust me, I'm already looking at other options and during our last conversation , he's like, I won't blame you if you don't love me anymore. I didn't reply, I didn't want to. But yes, both of us just know it's the end of the road now, but I av resolved to smth, it's either a yes, or a no. It's sad, but I don't want to do this anymore, the relationship has been long enough, and I am looking at other options. Though hard, but if he does not tell me what he intends to do pretty soon....well....

Anonymous said...

Will you rob a bank because you are broke? Cheating is dependent on your character make up. We can always give reasons for our character deficiencies.

Anonymous said...

Cannon 13:52 am in the same exact situation, its so so sad. If you need to talk open a new email add let's chat. We need to compare notes.

Anonymous said...

@Adaorah. I find the 'who has romance epped' bit hilarious. No-one dear, No-one. Lol.

@Robyna...why do you think I'm still with him? Those qualities are everything. I happen to have more male friends so I hang out with them.

MISS Jacobs.

Adadioramma said...

#Team "Virginia Ikpu Oye"

Anonymous said...

Exactly, not all Ladies... Some ladies have sex for fun and when they say it is a one-time thing, they mean it. So guy, shift and yeah, I am one of such women who can do for fun

Adadioramma said...

You are not the first and wouldn't be the last dear. Please forgive him and move on. Men are like babies, you clean them up when they messed.

Anonymous said...

You accidentally fell on top of the kini or the you accidentally entered the place? Abeg which kain accident... ti ba gbo

Anonymous said...

Any day i cheat on my wife that is the very day the marriage ends cos
i have already made up my mind before cheating

Anonymous said...

The pseudo confidence you display with your limited knowledge and dull way of thinking is baffling. Your comment always comes across as unintelligent. The man that will end up with you must be very patient to endure your frustrating way of thinking.

Anonymous said...

Anon14:33 Nwa Amana is not bipolar,the tripolar one na nmasinachi.

Morgana said...

I have never dated any guy for more than one year and I don't regret walking away when the need arises .......dating a guy for 100 year won't make him marry you and even if he does, its not an assurance of a happy relationship. .....as women, we must learn to evolve into our own person b4 we go into any relationship, otherwise cheating is inevitable....i will rather walk out of a bad relship rather than cheat....its just not right

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Ideato change guys? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ From what to where? Who told you that you can change a man? In your mind now you have formula abi? No worry. I pray it works for you. Say Amen oh. A loud one.

Phanuel said...

@my opinion. Thank you, you enter class.

Anonymous said...

Oh lawd, my typos no be here....

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

I don't like attention. Sorry. Too much of it irritates me. I like a man who gives me security. A tough man who takes care of his shit. I prefer a busy man than a man who sits on the phone calling/texting me morning and night to profess love when I'm thinking of how to increase my account balance. Lol. Thats too distracting. For me, we talk in the morning. Exchange text at lunch. Meet up for dinner/drinks after work. Talk more. Go home. 5 minutes chat before bed. Etc. The days we are too busy to see/chat, we chat more before bed and run through intelligent conversation. I'm very sapiosexual and practical in my relationship. So that attention bullshit? Honey it don't work for me.

BVs go and buy this book: The five love languages.
I think the problem is that many of us don't understand our partner's understanding of love. And we use a one-size-fits-all approach. Which makes it look like you're doing so much and your partner isn't satisfied. No, it's just that your not hitting their own understanding of love. If you don't share the same love language as someone, don't even bother starting the relationship. Cos that's when you see two good people unhappy in a relationship and you start to wonder why. That's why you have a good man/woman but you aren't satisfied. Cos there's something missing in the way they express affection that isn't hitting home to you. #mytwocents

karen jessy said...

You are my girl,chop kiss

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Yea people cheat for money and sexual satisfaction as well. @ Aeegurl

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Never marry a man with the assumption: he's NEVER gonna cheat. That's when you start to feel all this hurt and pain. Cos of disappointment. I know it's hard, but hey..... that saves you feeling all this anger. Plus, you'd rather be surprised than disappointed wouldn't you?
Anyhoo, that's me sha. Not everyone is as hardened. So.... *shrug*

Anonymous said...

Odiegwu!
Money is the deciding factor for me!
I have not cheated cos I have not seen someone who is ready to pay the right price!
Faithfulness my ass!

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Miss Jacobs.just when you see all you've prayed for and there's still comma. I know the feeling jare. Nerdy guys are very boring. You have ginger them oh. If not, na old school you go become

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Come and hug me.. you be better man!! Women love good things o jare. That's why correct boys have them at their beck and call. Last carriers will be there moaning. Come and hug me jare. Better meat for soup na it you be. Take five ✋ *GBAM*

Shennel Hyacinth said...

Lol

my opinion said...

Lol @ jidesia nya ike

Jirade said...

I pray God heals u. I think God is using dis to reach out to you. In all of this, He wants u to learn something n be brave. Maybe you should attend marriage counselling in church, get sime scriptures that you'll turn to food. With time, you'll discover that God is love. And you'll learn to love your husband again n better. I'm not married, but I'll never walk out of my marriage coz of cheating. I pray the Lord heals you ma. Don't leave. Stay put, fight the devil, and come out victorious. For yourself, your hubby, your children, and when you both grow old together for young married and unmarried women. God bless you

Anonymous said...

No 3 is probably the reason why most pple cheat! I'm cheating on my husband , soon to be ex because I'm tired of the lack of emotional, financial and physical support. We have fought so much and spent the better times of our marital lives calling each other names and hurting each other. I deeply regret the marriage and wish I had married my ex.. I wish I married a man who is more supportive and involved in everything. There is already so much hatred btw us

Anonymous said...

@bonaparte, I agree! The easiest way to overcome the hurt a cheating spouse has caused is to cheat back.

Anonymous said...

You have two options! 1. Cheat back and feel better or 2. Leave the marriage.
Either way, when u separate, u will still start seeing someone else, so u might as well just cheat back and stay in ur matrimonial home. Same way ur husband is hiding his tracks, hide urs wella!

Anonymous said...

From date now, e go enter another thing .

Chioma said...

My sister I feel you. It's the most depressing feeling to find out your spouse has been cheating. I am still not over it, but God blessed me with good friends who have been my back bone. Secondly. It has made me wiser in terms of thinking of my future. Even though we get along now, I still do not trust him and he knows. It's like I only think of the kids and not him. So sad! This was a man that I could not make any move without telling him, but his act of betrayal has changed everything. In all, I stayed, so my kids could have the best upbringing possible and I could ensure that they were well taken care of with their Father's money.

My sister I know I am ranting, but truly, make no move till your mind is clear of every doubt or sadness. It is well. Remember to forgive is divine

HOUSE OF LAWOF said...

Well said chikito

Darismativ said...

Anon 15:27 I don't agree with you. It's common in my family to have peeps meet n date for only a short while before getting married. The only person who dated for 12 years in the name of "I want to know her well" didn't stay up to 3yrs in that marriage. The next relationship he had for only a short while which ended in marriage is still on, 13yrs on.

HOUSE OF LAWOF said...

Is it not better to walk away from a loveless marriage instead of cheating on your husband?

Anonymous said...

Chikito...The old school part, that's so true. LMAO. You know everything.



MISS Jacobs.

Mosi Jubelo said...

Lol, small Carrot here, small Carrot there, will they now kill themselves?

Mosi Jubelo said...

Many people that say they can't date for more than 6 months bla bla bla are the ones in relationships for over 7 years.
It's a free world mehn.....

Anonymous said...

You're a sensible person. Chop kizzzzz

Mosi Jubelo said...

Robyna fenty , many girls will sleep with a guy and the next day, act like nothing happened, very very very true Jor. No time to be attaching emotions....

Mosi Jubelo said...

Lol

toughcookie said...

hahaha. So funny but so true!

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

Chikito. My "change" mean, dump one and date another

Anonymous said...

You just nailed it. Cheating is not only about having sex with someone else

redbotafly said...

There r so many reasons y women cheat,some dnt even need a reason to its their nature.they r neva satisfied no mata wat u do for dem.some women believe cheatin as payback wud take away d pain,it doesn't it only shows hw weak u r.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Aha! Okay. Oya sorry

beebumble said...

So now ds blog has got my full attention.am so glad i cn comment here.....lookieer Mr.Y does it pain u so much dt women cheat?lyk its men who have the right to cheat on their partner.once ur partner strts cheating den there is something you aint doing right.na me talk am.guy check yaself out therz smtin u aint doin dts cool

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

How can you be circumcised yet you have clit? Liar

Anonymous said...

Dirty liar with big clitπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ‘Ž

Anonymous said...

U wish...if ur ex was better or if u were better , u guys wuld have worked out. Fix ur marriage.

cathy said...

6yrs gurl you're fucking married. I can't stay that long in a relationship, for what now.

cathy said...

Word

Anonymous said...

True! My husband snatched me from my ex through cheating , now I started dating him and was cheating on him, we are married now and I'm still cheating. I wonder if u will ever stop cheating. Mehn I really hurt my ex and I regret till today that I didn't marry him. My current husband is useless and broke

Anonymous said...

On point!

Anonymous said...

She must have been really careless for her to have been caught

Anonymous said...

1,2&4 is the reason why I cheat on my husband and I don't regret it

Anonymous said...

So you still have a clit and you claim you were circumcised?
If my husband was rich, I won't even look anywhere else!

Anonymous said...

We are twins! It's all about the money

Anonymous said...

Later u will claim feminist... Anoda ma just robbed u off ur pussy... You are a tool.... Where is ur pride... Marriage made u proud... Ur hubby did if not u are useless...

Anonymous said...

Nothing you talk abeg. Very useless somebody. Eka joy

Pure Nigerian said...

Chikito, your sense level no be here. Ride on girl! We are alike although not exactly, as I will even skip the text during lunch. I am not a clingy person and dislike clingy men. I won't call you every five minutes to check up on you, because I do not exist on earth to just breathe in the oxygen, mark register and then leave. I came that I might have a fulfilled life via my life ambitions.

Anonymous said...

My husband of 9yrs cheated.I found out.instead of simple apology.He started forming anger,that I was accussing him wrongly,starting swearing with our children's life.Kia.If only he knew all the evidence I had.Out of anger,he was keeping malice for 6 months on top.no sex,nothing.When i got tired of touching myself I carefully planned and f..Ked a drama free toaster
.We are all good now.My conscience know say I try.So 100% guilt free.

Anonymous said...

@Ananynous 18:41..,thats what marriage is all about. There are times u hate ur hubby and there are times u regret marrying him. I'm not married yet buh there are times my mum will say " i regret marrying ur father, he's wicked, he's heartless, he doesnt love me and so on and there are times u ll be hearing is my husband, nkem, daddy...but in all this, be patient and learn to trust on God.

Greenland said...

You are a "truther"(if that's even a word). You hit the nail on the head. God bless you for not joining the multitude to do evil.

Anonymous said...

6 years and no marriage plans? Go start a new life. Will cheating make him propose? No! Instead of a lady saying that she wants fun outside the relationship, she is using marriage of lack thereof as an excuse. If bf or gf seems to be wasting your time, build another relationship. This fool wants a 27yrs old in Nigeria to commit in this Buhari time? She dey mad. I hope he finds out and find another gf.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who doesnt give a fxck if my wife cheats or not? Take care of our kids. I will provide the resources. Wanna cheat? Not my problem. If it is obvious, I send you packing. Cheating doesn't bother me one bit.

Anonymous said...

Ideato/ilaje blood. Not just Owerri women. Most women from Imo state are useless and wayward. Any Anambra man that marries from Imo state should dig his grave first.

Dr.Who said...

My story...and I'm still hurting. I can never trust again

Anonymous said...

Oh Lord all these burdens.
Women cheat to spite it's not their nature of self entitlement.

Anonymous said...

I'm yet to understand why women cheat,Its one thing or the other. I have had affairs with about 6 different ladies who are married and it's about a thing or the other with hubby. What's baffles me is seeing this same ladies put up the next min bae is this n that or appear in blogs and social media as happy couples. How do you do this ladies,please I need to know.

Anonymous said...

I hear you guys on trust, mine is not cheating, just emotional abuse. Now this guy has been following my matter for almost quests now. He is there for me, funds, support, name it. Thinking of doing it with him for the first time. Not sure what would die in me.....

LiveLoveLaugh said...

I don't think most women plan to cheat. They do so when they start experiencing insecurities in there relationship, while some do it for material purposes.

leendah said...

WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING IT CHEATING
its simply picking another sexual interest. hian!
cheating cheating cheating as if you abandoned God for gods

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

Anon 00:36 you must be totally out of your brain box!!

Orlu women are homely. Beware of Owerri and mbaise!!!

D'Arc Ed said...

Everyone here is sounding as if cheating is just a crime against another human beings. Whereas cheating is simply having sex outside God's plan which is marriage.

A person was created to bond with just one person 'until death do them part'. And that person had to be their married partner.

Premarital sex is training ground for infidelity. It is difficult to change afterwards.

From a man's point of view, I sincerely don't know how ladies expect a guy who has browsed many kpekus to suddenly become godly or moral enough to stick to only one. Where was the moral when you were straffing before marriage? Which moral do intend him to adopt now that he's married you?

This generation has missed it. Let's teach our sons and daughters to respect sex and keep it for only their married partner just the way God meant it to be.

I keep saying, assuming the men are really dogs and are ready to fall into any hole at the drop of a hat, if all women keep their kpekus only for the man that married them, their will be nothing like infidelity because the men will have no one to cheat with. It is still the same women who will turn prostitutes to serve the deviants among the male folks.

If you turn your back on God's laws, don't cry when the repercussions bite you.

Women were created to attract men. Men were created to ask for sex, women were created with enough restraint to offer it to only to the one who meets the requirements to get it. Over the years, men are still men, but the women folk have lessened the requirements and are bearing the brunt. Imagine giving kpekus to small boys/men who are not emotionally, financially and spiritually fit to smell the thing, all in the name of relationship and you come back to start crying "what now"?

Growing up, man go don mature well well, with better things to take care of woman before e begin think of how to marry so he can cap it all up with him wife kpekus and other wifely 'innuendos'.

Una go open eyes, give every every to chewing gum boys, then marry chewing gum boys/men wey get money, begin complain when they display chewing gum attitude.

A beg this matter son tire me.
Let's go back to the way God made things and cry less, biko.

D'Arc Ed said...

Everyone here is sounding as if cheating is just a crime against another human beings. Whereas cheating is simply having sex outside God's plan which is marriage.

A person was created to bond with just one person 'until death do them part'. And that person had to be their married partner.

Premarital sex is training ground for infidelity. It is difficult to change afterwards.

From a man's point of view, I sincerely don't know how ladies expect a guy who has browsed many kpekus to suddenly become godly or moral enough to stick to only one. Where was the moral when you were straffing before marriage? Which moral do intend him to adopt now that he's married you?

This generation has missed it. Let's teach our sons and daughters to respect sex and keep it for only their married partner just the way God meant it to be.

I keep saying, assuming the men are really dogs and are ready to fall into any hole at the drop of a hat, if all women keep their kpekus only for the man that married them, their will be nothing like infidelity because the men will have no one to cheat with. It is still the same women who will turn prostitutes to serve the deviants among the male folks.

If you turn your back on God's laws, don't cry when the repercussions bite you.

Women were created to attract men. Men were created to ask for sex, women were created with enough restraint to offer it to only to the one who meets the requirements to get it. Over the years, men are still men, but the women folk have lessened the requirements and are bearing the brunt. Imagine giving kpekus to small boys/men who are not emotionally, financially and spiritually fit to smell the thing, all in the name of relationship and you come back to start crying "what now"?

Growing up, man go don mature well well, with better things to take care of woman before e begin think of how to marry so he can cap it all up with him wife kpekus and other wifely 'innuendos'.

Una go open eyes, give every every to chewing gum boys, then marry chewing gum boys/men wey get money, begin complain when they display chewing gum attitude.

A beg this matter son tire me.
Let's go back to the way God made things and cry less, biko.

Anonymous said...

Anambra women are worse they start sleeping around as soon as they are married they are married ashawos born & breed in osha so knw wot am talking abt. Imo girls can fuck fuckable but as soon as she is married she will hang boot. Anambra women are pure whores wen they are married but they sabi chop clean mouth fucking from their husbands friends to anything dt has money.

Femme Fatale said...

Gbam. SIMPLE!!!! Sweetheart. Love of my life. My new bestie. Lol. Best comment on this thread!!! Comman chop kiss jare....

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