Hopefully these gists Entertain you....
Please read my end note..
My fellow blog visitor,my own saturday laugh has landed,and it goes has follows!!!sometimes years back, my mother a business woman,CAN STINGY FOR AFRICA,whenever asked for money she laments each passing day,that their wasn't sales @ shop,so we the children knew her with the words,NO SALES!!!but what we the children noticed but never realized was that whenever she comes home from shop each night,the first place she goes into,is the toilet with her handbag,not knowing the toilet was her own bank,where she saved her own money till day breaks!!she removes the top of the wc (the water closet of toilet seat)and keeps the money she makes each day,before heading to the bank in the morning to deposit it,don't ask me how possible is that,its so possible in the sense that we don't have water coming into our flat,so we do with mallam (aboki)fetching water for us,and pours it into the water can,we had in the toilet,so their wasn't used for the wc for flushing rather we made use of bucket to use to flush!!
My mama go remove the top of the wc put money for there and close am back,and then come out from the toilet and pretend has usual that their wasn't sales,but the day we catch am for the act,na the day my elder sister and I were fast asleep in our room in the middle of the night, only for my elder sister to jump up and started shouting fire oh,fire oh!the house is on fire!!!we all jumped up from sleep,thinking our building was on fire,not realizing that where she got the scream fire, was from the church in the next street,where a revival was taking place(where their told them to cast away the devil by screaming Fire)we all jumped out of bed,running from our room to my parent room,to alert them of the building been on fire,and that we had to vacate the flat has soon has possible,we were all running to the door to open it,and leave our flat.
when we noticed our mother running into the toilet screaming my money ooooo,my money must not burn ooo,she ran into the toilet,and went straight to the wc,to get her money,the top of the wc came crashing down and broke into bits,because of the speed she went for the money,we all watched her with open eyes and was full of shock ,only for us to get downstairs our building,and realized that it was a FALSE ALARM!!we got back upstairs and tease her,so the toilet be your own savings account abi(MADAM NO SALES!!!trust her since that day,she stopped hiding her money in the toilet when she realized that her secret has been let out of the bag!!!ABEG MAKE UNA VOTE FOR ME Ooooo
I visited my brother's place for a short stay. So on Sunday morning,we
all prepared for church. We are to go for second mass. I jejenly wore
my flat shoes after dressing up,but my sister in law was like babe
this flat shoes won't bring out the beauty of your gown. She went to
her wardrobe and brought out this fine shoes,I don't even know how
many inches (I will attach the picture). Okay oh. I wore the shoe but
it was a bit tight for me because I am size 38 or 39, but she wears 37
or 38. My sensible mind was telling me to forget this shoe and wear my
flat shoes then my other mind was telling me "babe you need to rock
this opportunity " . Okay oh, finally I wore the shoe and I was like
since the distance from the house to the church is not that far,I can
manage.( like 10 minutes walk at most).
I was now like 5 minutes away from church ground.....tiiiiaaaaa omo
see gbege. I raised my leg and the shoe front sole gave away. .. I was
like " kaiiii I don enter" !
To make matter worse,the first mass just ended and people were
trooping out. I was there standing at the junction ( between habib
street and Arufa street), I didn't know if I should go back or
continue,but when I thought of how I will be limping to go and give
offering or to go and receive holy communion, I decided to go back. On
my way back, I was hearing sneaky comments from people... one was
like " nne na by force to wear heels ? "another one was like " Negodu
ihe nwa rigoje ( see what this girl go climb!)
Another was like "na by force to grow tall"
I felt like the ground should open and swallow my shame that moment.
I didn't even bother going back to church.
When they came back from church, My sister in law was like" sis I
didn't see you at the church again., what happened ?
I only showed her the shoe cos I couldn't talk ... mehn see as she
tear laugh give me, like the one I received on the street wasn't
Good day Stellakork the onye ukwu sarambala 1 of SDK ville... U want
to tell a story.
STORY STORY? STO..RY
ONCE UPIN A TIME... TIME TIME
There is this lecturerer in my department called Mr Okadigbo.
Okadigbo is a self acclaimed old soldier that tells stories a lot. He
can tell stories from the beginning of his period to the end without
teaching. We normally have his class on the 2nd floor of a very old 3
storey building that looks like it will collapse at any moment. Me I
normally sit close to the door incase of any incasity. LOL
So I went to class on wednesday after a very heavy rain. I almost
refused entering class due to the condition of the building coupled
with the fact that I was carrying out a research on the role of
obsolescence in the collapse of buildings but decided against it
because Okadigbo doesnt joke with his attendance.
I sha went in and sat on the seat closest to the door. Okadigbo came
in in his usual manner and began...
' in 1759 when i worked is a cadet in the Nigerian army...' there was
a noise at the window, I looked up and saw sand falling. ShUuu... nor
be building dey collapse so? come see run! I was among the first to go
out as the baddest guy ever liveth that I is. Come see Okadigbo dey
drag the staircase with students. It wasnt funny at all. It was later
we discovered the cause of the commotion. Artisans were tiling an
office on the 3rd floor so they packed the broken cement floor and
threw it out the window!
Hahaha. Okadigbo has vowed not to enter our class again and he hasnt
even introduced hus course for the semester. Na die we dey
This is the end of my story
Good day everyone.Straight to the gist.This incidence happened
yesterday at the place we went for teachers'interview.The interview
kicked off with easy writing captioned*WHY I CHOSE TEACHINF AS A
CAREER*So we began writing immidiately because we were given a little
space of time to round up.Meanwhile there is this particular lady in
our group,(we were grouped according to qualifications)prior to the
interview,she had been gisting us of how she had gone to various
schools for interview.infact according to her she was looking for the
highest bidders.I was even looking for a means to get her number after
the interview so she can help me with the address of the schools
around the the town cos am new.
So back to the gist.As we were sitting
on the same desk writing the essay,the supervisor noticed that she
kept on asking me questions,he then spaced us and warned us against
any kind of interaction as long as the exam lasted.So after the
essay and oral interviews,(tho the oral was done one by one),it was time
for dictation/micro teaching,that was where the whole drama began.
come and see real drama on the board those of us into teaching can atest to
how humilating micro teaching can be esp wen you lack the self esteem
and confidence.So it got to the turn of this my wonderful teacher
that i planned making friend cos she knows so many schools,the real
drama began.first her 6inches h......
******Now let me address something here which i feel is wrong.
Maybe my mindset is different but the reason i started in house gists was for fun but along the line i decided to attach monetary award to it becos i just wanted to make it funnier.
I did not want to bring it here how rude most of the recipients of MY HARD EARNED money have been and how they do not even come back to say thank you.Some even insult me via email but i still give the money because my word is my bound.
The winner of last week's gist has officially pissed me off and i am closing this section to think of something else or nothing at all.
The supposed winner email bombed me commanding or ordering me to pay up the 10k naira....for Chrissakes 10k means nothing to me ,if you do not classify me amongst Millionaires,at least trust that i can afford 10k or more?
Most times i pay a week after win because i hate to do Banking stuff and i always explain to wait...which i mailed this person severally but whosai!!!
Maybe I am too unavailable?too friendly?...Maybe i should close all doors and just blog stories without caring?
I am done with explaining please.....You cannot come here and insult me and expect to get anything from here,that is the same reason i closed the free advert section inside IHN,If there is another blog that advertises for free and tolerates the ISH then i will be happy to direct you there.
I am not angry or upset but some things are unacceptable.
Lets move on..Enjoy today's gist.This is the last in house gists,any other funny gist that comes in will be posted inside IHN henceforth.