STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHEN HUBBY AND HIS SISTER ARE BEST OF FRIENDS.
Hello Stella,
I have been married for 10 years and I have 4 kids with my husband. My husband's sister had marital issues with her hubby so she left the marriage which produced 4 kids to come and stay with us in Abuja .
She stayed in my house for 6months and during her stay ,anytime my husband is going out she must follow him,even when my husband had gone out she will call him to come and carry her to wherever she wants to go.she calls him to pick her up and follow her to buy things,they hang out together during weekends ,these are things my husband has never ever done for me.
When I was pregnant with my twins,I will beg my husband to drop me at a junction when my car was bad,he will always complain that he is a very busy man. I became independent ,I don't disturb him any longer but I was shocked when all of all sudden he became less busy when the sister was in our house.The day I delivered my twin boys I drove myself to hospital and did all the hospital errands all by myself because he was nowhere.
He doesn't hesitate to tell me that his sister is his bestie ,his closest friend and that hurts me so bad.
When I married him,he lost his job and i used my salary to pay house rent and make sure there is food in the house for him to eat .i shed blood to birth his 4 kids but he appreciates his sister more.i am close to my own sisters but my husband and kids always come first . She later moved out when she got her own apartment but anytime I call my husband ,he will be in the sisters house eating or relaxing.
I later got opportunity to travel to US to work as a nurse but his sister told him not to travel that I will kill him there!!
We quarrelled because of the sister this morning,because the sister bought a car and wants my husband to drive the car from Lagos to Abuja,I begged him that the road is bad,armed bandits are everywhere it's better to pay a driver that knows the road very well rather than him to take that risk.i even accepted to pay any driver to bring the car to Abuja so that peace will ruin.
He became so violent ,brought down our wedding picture and broke it into pieces with a big axe,this happened in front of my little kids and they are tormented right now.
Please I want to ask this question,is it right for a husband to put his sister above his family???
Am I wrong by feeling he should put his family first before the sister.
Stella,am so so depressed right now,can you post this real quick.there might be errors because I was crying while tying,I just can't sleep.
*Excuse me?you shed blood to birth his four kids?what kind of mindset is that?
You make it sound like a job....Do you tell him this all the time?...thats scary!
From this Chronicle,it looks like your relationship with your in laws is South.
The more you interfere or try to break them up,the worse this situation will become,you know why? When blood talks,it is thicker than water and sharper than a knife.
You should have your hands full with four kids and your job,please concentrate on that and let them be otherwise this might escalate and break your home.
Some men run away from a house full of kids and i guess your hubby might be one of those and his hiding place is his sisters house.Since you do not have a solution,please leave them alone and if you can ,try to cultivate a relationship with your in laws,if not then take your nose out of their business.
If you must interfere,then look for a different approach.
If you ask me to be really honest?I dont see any problem with his being Best friends with his Sister.This kind of relationship between siblings is cultivated from childhood and their parents if alive will be so happy to see that their kids are so close,you cannot break this bond so please look for new ways to handle it or let them be.
Na wah!
ReplyDeleteIs the shedding of sperm a painful or pleasurable process?
Is it the same as shedding of blood?
I feel for my young ladies who have to pick a life partner from this lot.
The advice no work today..
ReplyDeleteStella I'm sorry I'll have to insult you for the first time Ode ni yin Aunty Stella what sort of radarada did you just type,i'll be back cos this response you gave got me upset
ReplyDeleteStella this time your red pen write up no jell at all. Whatdahell! Be best friend with your siblings but to put them above ones wife/hubby and kids is 😠 😠 😠 . You did not even address his axe display in front of the kids.
ReplyDeleteInfact this post is annoying as hell.
Madam...face your job/career whatever and your kids...what did I say? Face them! Pray for him if it makes you feel good, but don't you ever give a man power to determine your happiness. Ignore him and his bloody sister that can't keep a marriage. Whilst you are at it, tie your womb mbok! Pity your system and 4 kids is enough especially in this economy.
Ah! I read halfway before telling myself "this person writes like Empress Cho..." and I was right.
ReplyDeleteSo on point!
Poster, if you consider any advice here, please take this one to heart, although it would be hard, but God will strengthen you.
Angelray, prayer made in faith is the most powerful force on earth. It does wonders. Take it or leave it.
ReplyDeleteStella, I disagree wd u. It's absurd for a man to be that close to his sister to the expense of his own wife and children.
The problem here is the man, not the poster.
It's not out of place for her to want to b the number 1 in her hubby's life. I have brothers too but am not this clingy to them.
Dear poster, on reading this my first thought was “what' s going on between ur hubby and his sister?"
Their bond is strange really. Now, i am not trying to suggest anything or put ideas in ur head tho.
Whatever they hv may just b a brotherly-sisterly normal affection. But all in all, ur hubby is taking it to the extreme.
He is the one that needs help. But looking at it, there is not much u can do about it than to hope and pray that God restores him to you. That he realizes ur place in his life and give it to u.
Nothing wrong if he is passionate abt his sister but he needs to learn to balance his love and responsibility between the two of u.
So sweethrt, do nothing but wait. Trust God on this one. Do the much u can do. Ignore him. Overlook. Don't stress. Just wait...patiently. It's not easy but truth be told waiting is all u can do in this matter. There is nothing else u can do abt it.
U hv seen first hand that ur hubby can't b reasoned with. Allow him and face urself and ur children.
And yes, don't stop praying for DH.
God's grace and lots of love.
Mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com
Mitchell I wish we can be friends one Christian sister to another, you are sure to always give me good advise and encourage me in the Lord and I would try to reciprocate.
DeleteSimply put, your husband and his sister are having an affair and its been ongoing before you married him. I know you have kids yea, but does he make love to you like a man who loves his wife should or whenever he does he is it like a dutiful (just for reproduction sake) You are just a cover up for the affair hes having with his BEST FREIND. don't be fooled dear. Brother and sister relationship doesn't work like this. it is totally not normal believe Im asking you all this cos I had a personal experience.
ReplyDelete2 things PLS leave them and focus on your kids secondly, pray about it. You will see what God will do. And stella, Im disappointed with your red pin.
Why does she have to get close to her?
ReplyDeleteThe sister has ruined her own marriage and she is wishing the poor lady same.
Stella I don't agree with you at all. A man MUST put his wife and children first after God. Loving your wife and children doesn't mean you don't love your siblings. That is why marriage is for matured adults.
ReplyDeleteWhy should your husband abandon his home and stay with his sister at your detriment? If the sister is a good person she too would ensure that her brother's home is intact. In all of this I blame your husband. He is a child. I've been married for 6years and my husband puts me and my children first while still maintaining a cordial relationship with his siblings.
The Truth is when you marry the status quo changes. It is the change that in law's don't like because they want to be the only ones that get to control their own.
My advice completely ignore your husband. If you travel please do with your children ofcourse. Don't waste your time with a man who doesn't know your worth and who isn't a real man.
My question if roles were reserved and you have a brother you are very close to would he be so understanding? Double standards as always. Stella please sometimes leave out your oyibo mentality and speak the truth even though I understand that your husband and in law's visit your blog so I get that you must be seen as a model wife.
You darling is the real deal! A man must leave to cleave and cleave to his wife!!! Parents must learn to relinquish control when the time is right!
ReplyDeleteStella please change this your mindset especially as you have boys and they will be relying on you to give them sound unbiased advice regarding their wives.
Exactly!!!
ReplyDeleteYou're right ideato. Ur comments are making sense dese days o. I love d fact that u no longer cuss out. Kudos
ReplyDeleteahan aunty stella bet whyyy???????? this your comment tho, i was so pissed i shut down the page and then i had to comment,Is everything alright aunty stella? cus i am a big fan and i was really hurt by that commment.SHE SHOULD LOOK INTO THE ISSUE SOMETHING MIGHT BE GOING ON BETWEEN HER HUBBY AND THE SISTER,so many cases of incest...Be vigilant.
ReplyDeleteSee ur face like believe all y u no go support stella b4...that man is a disgrace to d word husband. Tueh!
ReplyDeleteStella, this ur advice no follow at all.
ReplyDeleteOh No...as much as I like the continuous cordial relationship between your hubby and his sister; I strongly condemn him for his carefree and lackadaisical attitude towards anything that concerns you. Once a man/woman is married; his/her first priority is the nuclear family (LET NO ONE GET THAT TWISTED). Every other person comes after the immediate family and not the other way round. However, our subjective way of reasoning in this clime turns everything upside-down.
ReplyDeleteI'll advise you...be calm; get your mind focused on some more important things...your kids, work, building a better life and give less attention to the man. Unless he's not in his right senses; if he is, he'll come around and make an adjustment. However, on issues that has to do with his sister, DO NOT offer any advice...solicited or unsolicited. Focus on your KIDS! Cheers...
He cannot fill any vaccum at the detriment of his family simple! That is selfish and manipulative!! Let the sister go and disturb her parents. She is their responsibility.
ReplyDelete@Becky Divine @Great woman you guys have said it all..I always look forward to ur advice most especially Becky..Stella I don't agree with you at all , Maybe u gave your red pen to someone else...we all are giving advice but this is woman is pained and we have to show empathy at least..Nobody here will Pray for his or her enemy to go through this.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster Please be strong for your kids. Its painful and my heart aches..your hubby is insensitive and I pray God arrest him. This is spiritual and a battle only God will Fight for you...**e-hugs dear poster** SMH
I seriously don't think your advice to this lady is fair Stella. How do you defend a man who axed his wedding portrait in his kids' presence simply because the wife is asking him to do right by his family. It's not wrong for him to love his sister but it becomes a problem when he puts his relationship with his sister above that of his wife and kids.
ReplyDeleteChop knuckle jo
ReplyDeleteFool, even the bible said you will leave your immediate family and become one with your mrs, I pray I don't meet a man like you
ReplyDeleteWho are your to want to hear the hsunad's side,if your don't believe her get out
ReplyDeleteI agree 100percent. Muah!!!
ReplyDeleteGbam!! Stella, what the heck do you mean? Are you trying to set new standards governing marriage? God who constituted marriage says a man will leave his father and mother and cling to the wife. How much more so a sibling! No wonder the sister is divorced. A sister eho truly loves the brother will never be so demanding of him knowing he has a wife. She is just trying to incite the wife to jealousy. The sister is a wicked woman.
ReplyDeleteIt is only a woman who don't love the husband that will be comfortable with this.
Poster pls cease the opportunity to go to the US if u still can and leave him to marry his sister. Make sure you state clearly that you can no longer put up with his unnatural bond with the sister.
Not everything is jazz
ReplyDelete*Reversed *
ReplyDeleteAnd how has ur comment helped solve world problem
ReplyDeleteYes siblings can be close but not to the extent of husbands talking care of them more than the wife. If you don't want a wife remain single. Why suffer the poor woman. How is it right that someone husband founds companionship in his sister and not his wife. Care for your siblings but care for your family more. That's your first responsibility.
ReplyDeleteThankio, wicked women everywhere, all these people calling the husband names, may your brothers abandon you and face their wives only, my brother left me n my sister to suffer, if he gives us money, the wife would complain, if we visit d house, she would say it's her husband's house n we shouldn't be too comfortable, time to eat she will serve on portion n ask us to share, iwe left d house back to d village, I worked on peoples farms to send my younger sis to school, today God blessed me with a stunningly rich man, he adores his siblings more than me but I understand n dath understanding made him respect me to d last, before he does anything for them, he seeks my opinion n I always give d go ahead, so u guys should chill, some women are horrible.
ReplyDeleteWho wan marry you with with your kwanshambolo head
ReplyDeleteIs anyone over looking the fact that the sister's marriage crashed? That speaks volumes..... fill in the blank
ReplyDeleteStella your verdict shaaa....SMH
ReplyDeleteWhat's this one saying. You wish. Gerrarahia okpo
ReplyDeleteThank you Mrs romas, for typing what was on my mind.
ReplyDeleteAbeg which kind of advice did Stella just give, d question is was d sister like dis with the brother when she was with her husband. So her own home is broken and she wants to break her brothers home abi? Running away from house full of children abi did she climb on top of herself to get preggy. Abeg Stella park well.
ReplyDeleteStella, you made a good point but at the same I disagree with your emphasizes on 'Blood relationship'.
ReplyDeleteI grew up in a home where the blood ties are so strong that no man born of a woman can destroy it. However, we knew how and when such blood ties should be used. I personally will not accept a man coming to tell me such bullshit about his siblings being this and that (What Rubbish!!).
Madam poster, first, I disapprove on your sentiment about shedding blood to birth your kids (what does that mean really?) You should be glad you did have such experience bec many women will pay to be in your position. Please don't use such words again I beg you.
Again, I will tell you this, and it is my experience. I believe strongly in family bec I'm from a home where we siblings shared almost everything and we all look so much alike plus you can hardly tell who the seniors due to the way everybody relates freely. So what did I do as I got married?
1) I made my hubby not to involve me in their family misunderstanding,
2) I allow him talk to his siblings as he likes
3) I brought him closer to my own family
4) I make it a point of duty to ask of his family and if he spoken to any member of his family.
5) I suggest the things we send to him
6) I tried not to be involved with whatever he does with his family.
7) If I'm going to my family house, I carry him with me and my siblings are so wonderful in welcoming guest. My elder bro most especially loves my hubby so that alone drags my hubby to the house most of the time or my hubby invites my big bro over for them to play game.
8) I made the decision that I will not be the one to break my hubby's family no matter what.
I understand how you feel and what you are going through but why not channel your strength and attention to something more productive. I won't lie to you that I never encountered this.... I did but when I saw it was going to be a problem, I quickly changed my strategy which is helping me now. You can't force a man to leave his family but you can make him to share love among both families while you have the higher percentage of his love.
I have just one brother-in-law that is craze even as he is married and till today he still disturbs my hubby to do this and that for him. I remembered a day he called my hubby to tell him that since he got married things has changed, that they don't do like before. I just smh and continued what I was doing. I trust my hubby to give him good reply. My hubby said, Oga, you are now a man no longer a boy. You have a family to face like wise myself. You don't expect things to be the way they were before. I was just laughing in my mind. I'm just imagining my elder bro calling me to come stay with him, like seriously? Unto what?
Family is the ultimate I agree but one must be your priority and the other as the need arises. Stella, this question is for you? Since you laid more emphasizes on 'Blood Ties', I really want to know which of the blood ties is most important. "That of his sister or wife and Kids"? Has any philosopher been able to explain the reason "why two shall come together to become one"?
Madam, please I advise you to move on with your life or if you want your husband back, start by making your sister-in-law your close friend. Always do things with her and gradually you will see her turning attention to you and thereby, provoking your hubby to get jealous. This will make him think again and maybe you might be lucky your hubby will see the need to be your bestie instead. Make all of them your friend, bring both families together, and show them equal love.
Please forget what you've done for him bec I consider them as necessary charity. Think of what strategy you can use to win your hubby over.
I wish you all the best.
Wow, evil women like you still exist? U used deceit n lies to separate siblings? Jesus christ, ask God to forgive you and bless you so hardship will leave your domain.
ReplyDeleteI feel your story is incomplete and you come across as a controlling wife who wants hubby at beck and call.
ReplyDeleteThat said, please are you sure the woman is his sister cos if this your marriage is part of these city marriages, then sorry his Ex just came back. Secondly, you are working, have 4 kids, got an opportunity to leave for the US and you are here writing chronicles for an unrepentant man.
If I were in your shoes, I would be in the US right now with my kids, working hard and sampling every new dick I come across.
Inukwa akuko, go and kill yourself on top man issue na, he will remarry 2 weeks after your burial and turn your children to house helps. Please stop being my husband this my husband type of woman, if he ignores you, act like a widow, live like he isn't there.
Just Negodu, a woman with that type of heart isn't your sister in law oh, she is DH's Bae sent from hell
ReplyDeleteNormally,hearing from one side and judging is wrong and Stella this your advice is somehow joor... Its not wrong for a man to love his siblings but always putting the sister first is not good...even if he wants to do that,why rub it on the wife's face? My hubby loves his siblings and they are very understanding too..they respect my marriage and I respect them too...question here is, Are they truly brother and sister from the same parents or the husband is just lying to his wife? And madam,how is your relationship with your inlaws? Confrontation by force doesn't work anymore with men these days...wisdom is required on how to approach a problem when it comes to family and husband matter...pray about this situation so you don't loose your marriage and calmly talk to your hubby..you have to check yourself and work on yourself too ok?pray for God to seal the broken edges...The Lord guide you and cause you to testify..
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for this
ReplyDeleteGuy God bless you for this comment. you're a real man not the type of baby man that I married that must tell his dad everything down to his pension savings.
ReplyDeleteShe left her four kids with a man and came to destroy your marriage.may God punish her on all levels. Poster look very well, i smell incest.
ReplyDeleteLol @atutuboyoyo
ReplyDeleteAt poster you should be worried about your face first because no lady would want to interfere with that halloween mask you call face. Kwakwakwakikikikik
With this ur groundnut head.y do you bother getting married. Marry ur sister na.
ReplyDeleteI am actually shivering at the comments i am reading here
ReplyDeleteSome people are even suggesting they are having incestuous affairs.
Dear Poster, if you listen to half of these comment, you would mess up your marriage with your hands while majority of these bad advisers will go back to their basic life.
Your husband loves you. Doing things for his sister does not mean he does not love you. His sister was vulnerable and needed him at that point. The reason he was not doing so much for you is because he sees you are a strong woman, who can take care of the home front. Men think differently from women. That man may love you from the moon back and you won't even realize it because of your emotional weepy self.
If it is your own brother going through it, i am sure you would accommodate him for years. You would even cook for him, wash for him, collect money from your husband and give him, hang out with him, you would even monitor the next girl so she would be a good girl for him. You would go the extra mile to make him comfortable in your home. I am sure your husband would understand and won't throw a jealous fit maybe because men are seemingly more logical in reasoning.
Why is it that we(women) would go an extra mile for our relation but when a man does that, we start quoting 'a man would leave his family and cleave to his wife' or we say he is controlled or you start listing all the things he didn't do for you. If he is spending on your relation...he is a good man. When he is spending on his relation...then they are jazzing him and he needs prayers.
Women, we need to renew our mentality.
Anyway, half of the single people advising you are currently kissing their boyfriend's sisters ass so they will be chosen. You better get out of that depression and go take care of your family and apply wisdom when it is necessary.
When you break your marriage with your hands, these advisers would be the first to call you all sorts of nasty names.Stop letting your imagination run wild, i am sure the sister is not telling him anything, he just sees you as a manipulative person trying to control him. Ask other women, how they do it without things getting this bad.
I can't log into my ID for now. Thank you for the correction Mrs Romas.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Gbam!!!
ReplyDeleteI just like u Bros
ReplyDeleteHe destroyed their property (wedding picture) with an axe in front of the kids, terrorizing them and you are still saying as long as there is no domestic violence. What do you call that his act of violence? Shey na property violence or what.
ReplyDeleteMadam poster, madam poster, how many ears you get? How many times did I call you? Domestic violence has already started in your marriage so better recognize it. Today picture, tomorrow your head. He who has ears let him hear. Save yourself. Leave now even if it is a temporary separation. Me I have said my own.
Is your eye paining u? @ loveme jej? Where did you see she is in the USA?
ReplyDeleteStella, I love love your response. I don't know why women want to be all to a man when they marry, forgetting that before he met them,he had a family first and they have formed a bond whilst growing up. They have gone through all sorts and then marriage should make them abandon their first love (immediate Nuclear family)? Hell NO. Women should stop trying to divide families.
ReplyDeleteStella, you won my heart really. Kisses to you jare. You have a good head on your shoulder!
Wow, Stella...just Wow!!!
ReplyDeleteSo a man's relationship with his sister supersedes the one with his wife?
Interesting view....and the kind that's killing our society right now.
A totally wrong one!
You're an idiot. You have no right to tell a woman what to do with her body, are you helping her pay school fees?
ReplyDeleteMy husband is in Italy,i moved with my kids to London.Go to US with your kids,their future come first not husband.if he don't value you,there is prince ready to treat you like a princess.
ReplyDeleteXOXO, spot on. Those siding the lady are just being sentimental without properly analysing the matter.
ReplyDeleteYou so spoke my mind. I wonder what Stella is saying self
ReplyDeleteThat man may be sleeping with his sister!!!
ReplyDeleteThis kind of closeness is very ABNORMAL!!!
God bless you. This is the kind of mature mind that should get married, not all these boys that do not understand the concept of marriage. My husband and I are one, I mean, one in everything. He made it clear from the onset that this woman on, I love am die. Though my Inlaws are fantastic people, everyone de their own, no poke nosing
ReplyDeleteAnd I am enjoying my marriage to the fullest. If e spoil ( God forbid) we will know that no we too spoil am.
So Madam,your foundation was faulty. That's why I tell people that courtship is the time you find out a man's mind...yes, sleep with hi. If you want but no let the sex blind out. Find out his thoughts on important issues, how he regards his mother and sibling, how he wants to raise his kids, his anger and how he manages it , how he manages finances, how he treats people when you go out, how he regards your advice, does he take decisions without informing you..it doesn't start in one day!
Hugs dear
ReplyDeleteIts well by His Grace
Chai, this woman ..I always thought you were a good woman. It's today, I know you are evil. Shebi, if your husband behaves like this, you will not see anything wrong in it....odimma
ReplyDeleteIdiot y should she lie? So your foolish parents told u that when u marry you should spend more time with ur siblings than spouse? Foolish goat
ReplyDeleteAre u sure she is jus his sister. Bcus a relative of mine has similar issue and later found out that her hubby was sleeping with his sister, which dey started wen dey were young n it has become an addiction. They Cldnt do without each other. All am saying it watch it hubby closely n wisely. Plz let all ur attention, ur energy n focus be based on ur lovely kids. Focus on dem passionately n get hooked wit ur job. Sooner or later u won't even remember u hav a man in that house.
ReplyDeleteStellz.....I don't understand this your red pen o. You don't see anything wrong with tyeir closeness eventhough its affecting his marriage? Mba o!
ReplyDeletePoster, I think you should sit your husband down and speak to him. It is wrong that he puts his "sister" before his family. You and his kids are his priority before any other family member. Are you sure she is his sister? If you ask me, there might be more to it. There is nothing wrong with siblings being close, sometimes it could be from experiences they went through growing up. You need to speak to your husband, or any other family member. You didnt mention any other family member, or yiur relationship with them. If nothing positive comes from speaking to them, please accept your nursing job, move with your kids and make them the centre of your universe.
It might have nothing to do with jazz.
ReplyDeleteThere is a reason why the Bible says a man should LEAVE his mother and father, and cleave to his wife.
ReplyDeleteI'm disappointed at your response Stella.
Anyway madam, don't kill yourself. Apologise to your husband, tell him you just wanted him to spend more time with the kids.
Afterwards, ignore him.
Lol @ Jane Moore. Anonymous, please look for someone to have kids for you. Donot subject any woman to that mentality. Mtchewwww
ReplyDeleteAbeg she should ignore that horseband and travel with her kids
ReplyDeleteWell said @Micho
ReplyDeleteI pray God lifts your husband up so that he can be independent and a man of himself.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous 17:29, you are wicked
ReplyDeleteLMAO
Tiwa, you are awesome. Welldone.
ReplyDeleteYou are very smart. That is exactly how my inlaws are but my hubby is just like you. Needless to say, their conclusion on their son not dancing to their tune is that I bewitched him. Smh.
ReplyDelete1m likes
ReplyDeleteStella haba!!! When a man gets married,his wife becomes his first priority. His sister is acting like a principality. His wife has more rights to him than d sister. How can she drive herself to give birth when she has a man.
ReplyDeleteHe is an irresponsible husband and father. The bible didnt say cling to your sister but to your wife.
We have a winner for dumbest comment ever.
ReplyDeleteWith your kwanshambolo head
ReplyDeleteThe man has no regard, respect or love for his wife. I know his type. He married her to serve him, so she is nothing in his eyes compared to his "blood" sister. She missed something important in courtship as a BV said. Now your best bet is to ignore them, take VERY good care of yourself and your kids and pray hard as BVs have also advised. Kisses and hugs dear, never you allow this affect your self esteem and don't bother nagging, it will yield nothing but make matters worse. Enjoy yourself with your kids and friends and whenever you see your SIL be nice but don't act like her slave. More kisses sissy nurse. (You are a strong woman for birthing 4 kids, child birth is not a joke, if no one will appreciate that, appreciate yourself biko. A woman giving birth is between life and death and should always be appreciated, is it not men that buy their wives gifts like cars or good jewelry when they give birth?)
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, be planning for a broken marriage before you even marry. Marriage isn't by force. If you can't put your wife n kids first, stay single. Better still, Marry your sis.
ReplyDeleteAh! My father's sister was like this. Even though it wasn't this bad. She became my mother's biggest tormentor. My mother fought her on her knees. I've said it here before nau. My dad lost everything, the woman's true colour came out and the relationship scattered. The property documents my dad kept with her till today we haven't seen them. Who keeps property documents with their sister? 😂😂 my father learnt the hard way. After that he couldn't take a step without my mum. Poster, get on your knees. As in have you fasted and prayed before? The Bible says what's God has joined together let no man put assunder.that ur SIL is a dividing force and she must step aside Biko.
ReplyDeleteThat sexy Christian girl, na wa for your name sha, to the matter, what you said reminds me of flowers in the attic movie kikikikikikiki... poster I sincerely hope this is not what you are dealing with.
ReplyDeletePoster I think what Stella said is the truth .
ReplyDeleteStella,your reply today is off d point.d bible says and 2 shall become 1,hence they are one d sister is an intrusion joor! being best friends with his sister's to d detriment of his wife and kids.This is anoyibg joor!Posted pls wipe your years,forgive your husband,move on.Go and do your nurse job in America ,carry your kids and pray for your husband to realize his mistake.
ReplyDeleteMen turn their wives to nags. If the horseband was doing the right thing would there be any need for nagging? Poster I understand you jare. The devil will tempt you with nagging but don't succumb. I suspect even if you try to talk to him now he won't listen. Leave am jare, face yourself and your kids. Draw closer to God, pray and be happy. Think of those things that make you happy and do them.
ReplyDeleteWon't you travel again and take your kids? Don't miss that opportunity for the sake of your kids.
ReplyDeleteI just tire for stella o. Ha!
ReplyDeleteGo with stella's advise? So u don't av a mind of ur own? Lol
ReplyDeleteOver like!!!
ReplyDeleteSee this ugly nwenje o!!! I pity ur wife
ReplyDeleteExactly
ReplyDeleteGod bless you for this comment!!!
ReplyDeleteAbeg ignore stella's advice o
Mrs Roman, u r bad person.
ReplyDeleteHow long will she make excuses for the stupid husband before the kids? She doesn't av a problem u say?
Sum1 that leaves his own kids at home nd go to spend time with his sister and her kids? What happened to taking his kids there? Or going out with the wife at times?
U r a two faced person abeg.
Go back and read ur chronicles abi n omugwo story
A fool in his folly.
ReplyDeleteAh! My father's sister was like this. Even though it wasn't this bad. She became my mother's biggest tormentor. My mother fought her on her knees. I've said it here before nau. My dad lost everything, the woman's true colour came out and the relationship scattered. The property documents my dad kept with her till today we haven't seen them. Who keeps property documents with their sister? 😂😂 my father learnt the hard way. After that he couldn't take a step without my mum. Poster, get on your knees. As in have you fasted and prayed before? The Bible says what's God has joined together let no man put assunder.that ur SIL is a dividing force and she must step aside Biko.
ReplyDeleteThis white berry. You seem phlegmatic to me
ReplyDeleteStella well done, one thing I like about you is that you don't shy away from posting views different from yours, that is why your blog is so interesting. Keep up your good work.
ReplyDeleteHe's really a toy boy. He doesn't hv anything doing that he has an option to follow his wife to US cos she got a job 🙄 Should his following even be an option? That idleness is the reason his sister can ask him to drive to Abuja for her. Except na jazz. The man seems very idle and complacent
ReplyDeleteIgnore them jare. And pls don't follow stella's advise abeg.
ReplyDeleteI wish u well
Too much dirty mind in this blog
ReplyDeleteSo becos the man and his sister re very close that makes them to be sleeping with each other
My younger brother is very close to me in fact he is my bae of life, I love him with passion no body can come inbetween us
The wife will only enjoy me and my brother when he accepts the fact that we love each other
Any woman that will come with division will not be alife to witness the out come
Madam make peace with ur in-laws
Ur husband and his sister has been togada before u came
If u re a wise woman what u should have done is going closer to ur sister in law
In other to gain full love n trust from ur husband but u started every thing with fight n nagging
Na only u put to birth before which kind blood re u talking of
Pls allow peace to reign in ur home if not na u go suffer it pass
Just go back and read what u post u re just full of ur self
If ur husband has little challenges is ur duty to take care of the home not mine
Receive sense
My Der ur case na moo moo that's if u are ready to fight ,my friend experience exactly the same thing Infact in her own her sister inlaw give her money for family upkeep from her own husband cos the husband is in Ghana but she is in lag the sister inlaw benin , well as am talking to u now the foolish sister inlaw is very sick ,her husband cant cough without telling her Infact he bought 2015 highlander for my friend who is the wife ,some sisterinlaw use witch sprit to dominate there rich brothers to the extent of turning the wife to maid, poster if u are ready to fight send me email let's start from there , pls is not jazz ooo but it works Sharp sharp.
ReplyDeleteShe didn't do anything to the husband the sister is holding him down in witchcraft kingdom & she want the husband to train her children for her without caring for his own family, I have seen it happen b4. Some sisters are horrible wanting to turn their brothers wife to maid she want to frustrate the woman out of her own matrimonial home as she has destroy her own home .poster contact me & I give u 3months that ur sisterinlaw will be ur husbands worst enemy. Cos I have OKECHI.
ReplyDeleteClap for urself! I'm sorry for u if that is what u wish urself
ReplyDeleteMy dear please take heart. Please never let a man, especially one that doesn't value you make you sad, depressed, or think so much that you get high blood
ReplyDeleteMy dear please take heart. Please never let a man, especially one that doesn't value you make you sad, depressed, or think so much that you get high blood pressure. I have high BP and believe me it's no joke.
ReplyDeleteI suggest you try to build yourself up. If your hubby doesn't send you, it doesn't mean you are worth less. Keep reading motivational articles and books to build up your self esteem and self worth. Your value does not depend on any one else. Try to lose as much weight as possible cos looking good really helps with self esteem. If he is paying for the kids just leave him get as much help with house work and the kids as you can afford. It is well with you dear
Love ur comment man see me blushing here,I wish every man can think like you. Stella I don't like the kind of advice u gave here at all y not put yourself in her shoes...
ReplyDeletePoster Pls just ignore him and take good care of your kids get Ur self busy make friends and take your kids out on weekend enjoy life and pray
Madam would you rather he spend time with another girl?, there is time for everything its obvious your sister inlaw is using your husband to replace her own husband for now,so just let them be so she comes out of the heartbreak /split with her husband. Then be prayerful so you still maintain your position in his heart (betahalf). Give them space but be smart about it. Occupy your thought with that if your work and kids . Hopefully you will pull through.
ReplyDeleteStella I disagree with u on this one. The Bible says.. A man shall leave his father and mother (+siblings.. Whoever sef) and cling to his wife and The two shall become one. The husband choosing the sister over the wife is soo wrong! Now he has formed his own family, therefore they are now blood which is thicker than water. Yeah..I understand he has known his siblings from birth, but a man who loves his wife would put her above his siblings. Afterall his next of kin is d wife and not the sister.
ReplyDeletePoster I'll advice u to apply wisdom here. Pray about it.. Then get close to his interest,ur rival (d sister),bond well wt her,win her over to ur side and ull be surprised how u'll win back ur hubby. If hubby fights u,she'll back you up naa, afterall u know hubby listens to her. Gradually u and hubby will be on the same page. That's how it works. Good luck!
It seems the pastor ddnt expantiate the meaning of "A man shall leave his mother and father,brothers n sisters and clings unto his wife' cos he forgot the dude has family. What nonsense? Nowonder she destroyed her home cos her hubby wudnt be a toyboy nowshz unto her brother. Hmm thank God hubby sings it like song I and my daughter are the two most important women in his life.
ReplyDeleteI think so too
ReplyDeleteMy dear, you took the words right outta my mouth, I don't get this Stella's advice today.if the husband loves his sister so much why didn't he marry her ,after spoiling her marriage she wants to spoil her brothers own.dear poster please if the job is still open take your children and go ,let him be with his beloved bestie sister.
ReplyDeleteThank you o
ReplyDeleteMay be it was their relationship that broke the sister's marriage
Ignore Stella's talk
You should have used your blog id if you think your comment made sense. Stupid pig
ReplyDeleteThis right here is the kind of bullshit I'm allergic to..
ReplyDeleteAllergic to bullshit
Nene,I like your comment. It's not really about the content,it's more about the way it was constructed and written. You also sound like a therapist. I really like that line about being happy on your wedding day because you chose to open up to someone and not that he- himself- was the cause of your happiness.
ReplyDeleteThe greatest mistake women make is making men their source of happiness, and these men take advantage of them. As for me, am a one woman riot squad . I no dey send anybody, dh knows this, so he respects himself and I do the same. You need to stop taking nonsense from your hubby. Na see finish be dis. Learn to stand up for yourself, and ignore your hubby as long as it takes. Be ready to even leave him sef, after all, we did not come to this world to marry. And stop forming miss independent, let him do his duty.
ReplyDeleteNene,I like your comment. It's not really about the content. It is more about the writing style. You sound like a therapist. I really like the part where you said she was happy on her wedding day because she chose to open up to someone and not that he-himself- was the cause of her happiness.
ReplyDeleteThis is wrong,that is why priest always advise on wedding day,that families should stay off the married ones,a man should leave his mother and father and cling to his wife,pls u can be very good to ur family,but they should never interfer in ur marriage,when u swore for better for worst,why did u not swear with ur sister,what God has joined together let no man or woman or sister put assunder
ReplyDeleteMadam..I will advice you pray about it. Take sometime and talk you your husband. Tell.him how you feel, speak to him calmly else he will send his sister's house as a refuge from him. Love him and show him all the love and care you can. You will gradually win his heart. May God help you
ReplyDeleteNne wait till u marry,some in laws are very wicked and jeolous, no matter how nice u treat them,they will still av bitter hearts
ReplyDeleteTanx born to Reign. Stella I disagree with ds ur half baked advice, how can a man neglect this wife nd channel d attention to his sister? Ah Stella fear God ooooo mbok. Poster pls stop crying nd pray, channel ur time nd energy in taking care of ur kids, God's willing other things will fall in place.
ReplyDeleteA man that cannot take his wife to the Junction or hospital to give birth, but can drive his sister around town and wants to drive from lagos to Abuja, shameless man. You need to show that man some pepper. Humans take advantage of soft people. People treat you the way u present yourself. If you had shown him hell when u were pregnant, he would have known to respect you more, my dear it's not too late, if u are capable financially, ignore him totally, turn the kids against him, yes, I said so, let him be an outsider in his own home, some people need strong thing to have sense. Gentleness no dey help anybody especially in marriage. If he sees that you don't send him anymore, he will come to his senses and start looking for your good face. And if he doesn't, then know that he is not worth it in the first place. Carry your children and go. Let him go and marry his sister. Marriage is not a do or die affair. I hate when people misbehave in marriages. Who does he think he IS?
ReplyDeleteStella this your advice today get K leg o... How can someones sister come inbetween...no now its all shades of wrong. Biblically its wrong too. Poster just take heart
ReplyDeleteSo that means your husband always goes to chill out with his sister who is all alone in the house? This is big trouble my dear and I'll advice you to go on your knees and cry to God concerning it. May God help you. Smh
ReplyDeleteThe bible says a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife. This is the heavenly solution to the problem at hand. If the home works against the word of GOD, then it cannot stand like the Lord wants it to stand. Please pray for your husband that the Lord will open his eyes and deliver wisdom to him that will liberate him. Also pray that whoever is working against what the Lord has joined together - which is your marriage in this case - be permanently silenced. Stella, a good number of times you give good advice, but sometimes you give very bad advice that it leaves me to wonder the type of person that you are. You owe it to be people who read this blog and have respect for you to give constructive and edifying advise. Do not be deceived, God is not mocked, whatever a man sows, so shall he reap.
ReplyDeleteHaaaa,this one is serious oo,
ReplyDeleteAm sorry for diverting oo,pls where is Kehinde Ake?d sex expert?
ReplyDeleteThe sight of this crap you just wrote is making my body itch..
ReplyDeleteAllergic to bullshit*
Lol,I had to laff at this one, find a wife first before you talk because you fit no see wife with that head..lmao @ red tie
ReplyDeleteAllergic to bullshit*
Your husband doesn't actually value you above his sister. You mentioned it here she got seperate from her husband with four kids. Can you imagine the emotional burden, heart ache. The least thing a brother will do is to show love so his sister can feel loved!
ReplyDeleteThis is something my brother can do... Yes!!! I go with Stella, why don't u get closer with your sister in law so u can understand the motive of ur husband more!
He might actually be a busy and not a mushymushy/romantic man but might be doing this for the happiness of the sister!
Since this has never happened before, please give them space and she needs space to heal up. Get closer to her and don't frustrate ur man by nagging and sounding desperate.
Plenty Love Ma😘
P.s I'm married so I can relate.
This is wrong,that is why priest always advise on wedding day,that families should stay off the married ones,a man should leave his mother and father and cling to his wife,pls u can be very good to ur family,but they should never interfer in ur marriage,when u swore for better for worst,why did u not swear with ur sister,what God has joined together let no man or woman or sister put assunder
ReplyDeleteWhatever u do to somebody shall come to u in folds, in the mighty name of jesus, Amen
ReplyDeleteGod will bless you Empress. You should consider writing a book!
ReplyDeleteStella I am very disappointed in this your reply. Saying that she shed blood was probably just a metaphor, do you know what she went through? Please think thoroughly next time before using your red pen abeg. Everything has a limit
ReplyDeleteVery reasonable somebody @michohay. This is almost my mother's story, Infact hers is worse! I don't know what to say you can choose to leave or remain there because of your kids it only gets worse with men like that. Either way, I pray God Consoles you and gives you courage to make good decisions.
ReplyDeleteNice advice. Thanks dear I learned alot from you in this blog.
ReplyDeleteNaWA FOR UNA,WHY INSULTING THE GUY
ReplyDeleteMany of you claim to be Christains but are very mean
ReplyDeleteThe 2 feelings are different and should never be compared.
ReplyDeleteWhen una dey fornicate una no dey remb bible
ReplyDeleteWhy do you guys quote bible only when it suits you,do you do everything the bible commands?if No then the man is also free to break the law.
ReplyDeleteNice advice
ReplyDeleteLike#clicks imaginary button # that man is a child in adult body. When you decide to get married, you leave every other person and cling to your wife and the two become one. Note at one,that means you are your husband and your husband is you. So I don't understand his talk about his sister being his bestie. So many don't understand the concept of marriage and erm Stella, please I don't agree with your advice.
ReplyDeleteCreate a rift?the heart of man is truly wicked.
ReplyDeleteYour minds are too dirty.
ReplyDeleteOne of the best replies sometimes u can't talk but keep things away from them so as to avoid problems, but in this her case dunno how she would handle them except she just give them space n avoid some certain things
ReplyDeleteYou go with Stella's advise?
ReplyDeleteStella's advise is all shades of wrong.
Madam, get down your knees and pray. Call God by all His names you know. He answers prayers. All the best.
The two have become one. Your husband is neglecting the family he created so he can be close to his sister. This is wrong on all levels. You don't take your wife in labour to the hospital because you are busy but you can run errands for your sister? Please take your kids and move to the US and let him marry his sister. Let me stop because I am too angry to continue typing, Biko
ReplyDeleteCall a spade a spade, Godbless u for this
ReplyDeleteHonestly! Stella I no agree with this ur advise today oh. Rara.
ReplyDeleteWhich one is siblings love? So the sister should come first before the wife? Haba na.
Me I would not like it sha oh and I don't pray it happens to me. It's OK for them to be close, but not too close na. A man shall leave his mother and father (all his family members included) and cling to his wife. Kilode.
I concur
ReplyDeleteExactly. Don't mind stella. How can a man be aggressive infront of his kids. Breaking his wedding picture. And u r telling me it's sibling love.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I won't advise you to leave your home, but do something! I don't know what tho but it's nothing normal biko
What is this one saying
ReplyDelete"hask" me oooooo
ReplyDeleteWell said.. Which kain mumu bestie 😠
ReplyDeleteAt all
ReplyDeleteAre u serious Stella?!@ last paragraph. Hmn! Well as for me, I see something wrong with it. If u were to be treated like that, I can almost bet u would have a problem... Anyways, poster; ur hubby will be the one to make that change. U have little or nothing to do about it. In the meantime, try not to irk him, be loving & respectful without expecting too much. Most importantly, pray to God. It's amazing what prayer can do. It is well poster, try to take things easy okay?
ReplyDeleteHow is that obvious? She didn't mention it.......
ReplyDeleteShe painted a picture but didn't state explicitly that there are "gbenshing".
If they are gbenshing, Now that's a chronicle. All I see is jealously if not properly managed will explode into hate and with hate, comes evil thoughts