Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

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Tuesday, 25 October 2016

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

*Sigh*






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE..

WHEN LOVE BECOMES HATE IN A MARRIAGE PART 2



Hello Stella,

Thanks for posting my first chronicle. Thank you for having created such an encouraging platform(your blog) where women like myself can come here and seek advice without open up to some "friends" or "family members" that are judgemental and gossips. This is the continuation to my chronicle.

I noticed some people in the comment sections mentioned my weight and some even assumed that I had married my husband when he had money. Also about me calling him goat, boy and broke. Well, those words came out at a moment I was really upset. I respect my husband on top of everything that has happened and God knows those words just came out of frustration. 

 Actually, when I got married to my husband, he didn't have a job, his family was the one supporting us for a bit. I sponsored him to come to the U.S, now he has his green card. I remember when him and his family promised me that things will get better once he gets his green card and would be able to work then he can go into business and all will be well. 

I know some of you will so quick to call me stupid, but it was our pastor that said that he saw that God wanted us to be married. The pastor/prophet told me to be very patient with him that things will get better. Imagine oh, every year the prophet has new prophecies, Stella I tire oh...As in enh, I feel like I have wasted my youth with the wrong person.


 I remember then I had successful guys after me that genuinely loved me and the prophet said that I should pick my now husband because he sees he is the best guy for me. Before I even got married to my husband, he showed me signs of abusiveness(he pushed and I feel on the couch) but later apologized and begged me. For all the commenters that used harsh words in regards to my weight, actually, I am  not that fat, I weigh 150 pounds, my husband just thinks I'm fat because I have a bit of tummy after having my two children.


I am an orphan, I was fortunate to come to U.S with my aunty(who referred as my mom in the first chronicle) but she is so wicked as in I just feel it was just God that use her to help me, when I met my husband he was so sweet and seemed very sincere. I remember him being the only person I used to talk to about what I was going through with my aunty at home and he would always encourage and invite me to church to pray and that is how I ended up meeting his pastor/prophet. 


Funny thing is I never loved him, I felt sorry for him and believed in the potential I saw. I just had this really strong feeling to help me. The prophet just kept telling me that my husband would be successful and the love will come and that I should choose him over the other prospects.  That's how I married him oh. Now I'm just confused, Nawa simi see trouble oh. E be like say they use jazz on my head. I tire oh...I am so fed up. I am at a point where I just wnat to start fresh with my life. I honestly feel that I am married my husband because I was affected by everything I experienced at home living with Aunty. 


Now I don't know where to start from,I dropped out of uni because I had to work and help take care of bills while my husband couldn't work. Imagine, I used to work even when I was eight months pregnant, now my husband has his green card and he tells me that he doesn't appreciate what I did for him because I am always reminding of everything I did for him. I used to ask myself how do couples go from love to hate, but now I understand. 

Please, I am here to get sincere advice because I am fed up of my situation.  I just feel like a failure, waisted many years of my life. Where do I go from here?


I just want to say that it would be nice if bvs can be more sensitive with their responses. When people send in chronicles they want advice and encouragement, please let's encourage each other instead of being judgemental, we are humans and we are going through challenges in one or another area in our lives, so let's be encouragers instead of judging one without knowing what exactly led to their decisions or unhappiness in life.

 Please, advice me where I can start from here. I have lost confidence, I forgot how to be a woman because of the kind man I chose. Thank you and God bless you all my fellow bvs.



*Hmmmm i am still stunned that all these happened...If you still insist on not loving him and think you have nothing more to save,then discuss the way forward with him,I will not advise you to leave your Marriage at all.
I feel so sad for you but hey you are in America where there is ample opportunity to start again....




134 comments:

Mother confessor THE REAL DEAL . said...

Chronicle is here again. Marriage is a miracle. Blessed are those who experience it.
Let me read.

mrs telema(cr7 wife in making) said...

Divorce him and start over again...you are still young

danny fisiye said...

Ihiagwa

Mama Afrika said...

Part 1 is enough read for me, no need for part 2. May God fix it for you.

Anonymous said...

It seems everybody has offended you.

Pls look inwards, there my something wrong somewhere! And try to be contempt with what you have.

Learn not to blame people for your predicaments, accept responsibilities and sort your life out.

Work on you attitude and your marriage.

Victoria's Heart said...

I read the first chronicle though i didn't comment.

Well madam, i advise you put all your focus and attention on your kids. Pray to God to restore love and peace in your home, ask that God's Will be done in your life. I understand you're confused but there's light at the end of the tunnel, just be strong. It's well with you.

Victoria's Heart

xxxTrinityxxx said...

Moral of the story, run away from poor men abi. And make up your own mind not pastor said this or that lol

JAMES not that JAMES said...

E be like say our chronicle folder dey empty

Seriously this second post wasn't necessary. We already dissected your issue and if you read all the comments some mind readers bvs already speculated all you narrated up there.

Good luck on your journey to freedom!

ANGELRAY4SDK said...

Every time u people will blame ur pastor for your failed marriage, must u accept every prophesy, u married a man u don't live, who is also abusive because his pastor said he's ur husband , madam d mistake has been done, move on with ur life and shine ur eyes.

Jasmine said...

Coz of prophesy?

I do believe pastor's but the pastor that deceived u must be a devil.

No advise abeg.

Loveme Jeje said...

Madam if he use jazz on you, go and wash your head now. If we advice now you will get annoyed. Please since you are in America, send him your divorce, thereby starting new. I am sure you will get someone new.

For US, dem no get jazz man there to wash your head and face, abeg go and ask biko

CherryCee said...

It's never too late to start afresh...

ZIONA said...

Please leave that marriage, if you are not happy u deserve to b happy before you end up murdering him with the way you feel right now

Blackberry said...

He connived with his blind prophet to scam u into marrying him for green crad, my sister, start afresh n ignore the ungrateful sperm donor, build ur life n kick him out, let him fend for himself since he has gotten what he wanted.

Chidinma Gift said...

Nne we don tire for this your story.
If you hate your husband.
If he is a goat and a boy.
If na jazz dey take hold you but now your eyes don clear.
If you can't pray and try and work out the marriage.

Simply take a work out of it nne.

Becky Divine said...

*Huge sigh*

Madam just cos i was defending you yesterday, one idiot called me bitter and way-ward. I laugh o lol

I still insist you both need to take a break, have a chat with him. Tell him your mind, tell him what you're feeling, hear him out. From this chat, you'll know the way forward cos i with this way you sound, you might end up doing something you'll live to regret one day.

Also take everything to God in prayer, there's nothing too big for our God to do. As you guys are in America, visit a therapist and bear your mind to him/her, i believe that once you let all the anger out..then you can find a solution to your problems. God be with you dearie..Hugs!

Brenda's Couch said...

When I read your first chronicle few days back, It was out of frustration you called your husband all those names.

Good you have come out calmly to write this.

A mistake you made is obeying your prophet which from your article was your husband's prophet and he brought you to him..

You could have followed your heart and not listen, but well, these kind of things happen regularly..

Just be strong and make yourself productive and open more avenues to increase yourself. Your happiness shouldn't be in a man's hand. He has done that to you, stand up, dust away the dirts and move forward in way you feel will help you go forward in life.

You don't seem like the woman I initially thought you could be going by your first post. Anyone in your shoe would do as you did and rsnt that way.

God bless you girl..

Omasiri said...

Life's too short to be trapped in a loveless marriage forever. She said she doesn't love her husband. She was coerced into the marriage by the actions of her aunt and the false prophesy. Madam have a heartfelt conversation with your husband to know the way forward. He might even be willing for a seperation or divorce. Talk,talk n talk. Air your grievances. Bare your mind. Discuss choices,alternatives,decisions,your kids welfare and the psychological,emotional and physical consequences of your current and future actions on them. Then you guys can take it up from there....wish you both good luck and a happy life in advance

white Berry said...

My dear so sorry for the insults from bvs though I never read your chronicle before just read the part 1 now and this. Please don't divorce him, it hasn't gotten to that, things will still get better. Just a little patient, with time he will get matured and starts reasoning well. Don't divorce him please all will be fine.

Anonymous said...

Blog visitors are human beings, we only comment on what you you write, we are not in your house to see what is happening.
You didn't told us all this before na, how do you want us to cook the story in our mind to advice you.

Tooor...... Kpele


The funny thing is that, if the guy could also reply, the table might even turn against you.

You want encouragement, then encourage yourself and do what pleases you, we won't even live with you there.

All of us got our problems too.

But all this prophet sef.... I will rather die ignorant and Jejelythan go to any yeye prophet for stupid prophecy that will eventually drain before killing you.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#The worst feeling is when you find out you didn't mean as much to someone as you thought you did and you look so stupid for caring too much*

Tilly said...

If only we would have minds of our own and make decisions without any influence of parents/prophets/pastors/mentors. Their advice is good but we have to try and see through people and sieve their advice.
Marriage is serious. To marry for pity or one bad reason will just haunt you later like it is doing now. Now where is the prophet?
Anyone that will tell you to leave your husband is giving u bad advice. If thats what you are going to do, do it without being advised to. Marriage is supposed to be for better, for worse. You should communicate,try and go back to the things that brought you guys together. what you liked to do together. See a counsellor/shrink. Resolve your issues. These unresolved issues will most likely show up in your next marriage/relationship. Before u decide to give up,try all you can to make it work.

Atheist. said...

*sighs*
This gist tire me i swear...
I expected an exciting read like yestrdays chronicle.

Anyway, for any marriage to remain afloat, you'd both have to work together constantly, either the man or wife would definately at some point notice the love wane, thats when the friendship be keep you both going till it returns, it takes alot of patient & understanding to remain happily married, alot is involved... its a huge gamble. Some one ones said "Its like a bale of Okrika"... she was right.

# The best way to forge a lasting alliance isnt by peeling a mans skin off, the best way is Marriage - RooseBolten, warden of the North.

Cutehajia said...

Hmmm... Na wa oh... Let me read comments

Unbeatable said...

I think u need a seperation for now. If u can afford to get an apartment, pls do n carry ur kids along too. U r already use to paying d bills so it won't be difficult.
Start praying earnestly, and try continuing leaving a normal life. After awhile, u wiLl knw d way forward.
Der's a post on dis blog about a white lady who divorced her hubby, and re-married him after 5 years only to discover, he never changed but was worse than before, before finally accepting her fate as a single parent than bein Mrs w an abusive and lazy man. Pls look for it and read; u will learn a lot from that post and know wat to do.

Dewdrop said...

Poster move on with your life. As hard as the truth may sound it still remains that he just used you to get his green card. If there is anything to his name make sure you take all when you are leaving. Thank God you are in America sef. When next he touches u just go straight to the police and get his ass locked up! If he abuses substance report him as well. I hate me that takes advantage of women.

The news I hear yesterday just made my hatred for wicked husbands grow by 100%.

Imagine a man poisoning his wife to inherit her properties. Lazy ass nigga. After everything she has gone thru because of her family Now he just went and killed her. Not knowing the woman has installed camera in the house because of the new nanny she employed. That's how she would have just died and nobody will know what happened to her. Stupid Man flexing while the woman labours. I trust her family sha. They have started arriving Nigeria one after the other. Dude is in soup.

Madea said...

I think that guy married you for papers and it isn't beneficial to date or marry someone out of pity like you did, many a time, it becomes a regret.

As for your aunt, she tried for you taking you to America and in America you have a lot of opportunities. What you can do is to continue with your education and a get a job while at it. If you already are a citizen, my dear, the sky is your limit. Please get busy with building yourself and dwell less on your hurt from your marriage. If possible, you two should seek counselling and change that your church. Every prophet isn't called by God, some called themselves. Your husband has a green card and as such shouldn't be idling around. He should get a job and start to build himself gradually. Both of you are young and should make the best of your environment. I wish you peace and love. E-hugs!

sassychick *i am stelladimokokorkus best friend* said...

Mtchhwww. You married a liability and you are here disturbing us. He used you.. I didn't even bother to finish reading..you all think marriage is a joke right??before you Marry.. Be ready,marry a man who is financially stable and not a blood sucker. You where just 26 and you are helping a jobless man with green card.. What stupid pastor and family members contributed to all this?? Its not like you are old or frustrated.you had no reason to enter into this sham.. READ MY LIPS*** IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!!

Anonymous said...

Hang in there. Why should you feel like a failure. Once there is life, there's hope. Forget the past and look to the future and trust God. I've realized that no one can ever truly make one happy except God, so find your happiness in him and then believe me you won't be bothered much by what ur husband is or is not doing. Pray to God and ask Him to help your love for ur husband to grow. What are you passionate about? You can start a career again. America is a land of opportunities. Be grateful for who you are because so many are not as lucky as you are. Everything will fall into shape you'll see, you can do all things through Him who strengthens you my dear. Good luck and God bless

code009 said...

You lost me when I saw his prophet said.....

Anonymous said...

Hang in there. Why should you feel like a failure? Look at your children, could a failure have birthed them! Girl, God created you perfect okay?. Once there is life, there's hope. Forget the past and look to the future and trust God. I've realized that no one can ever truly make one happy except God, so find your happiness in him and then believe me you won't be bothered much by what ur husband is or is not doing. Pray to God and ask Him to help your love for ur husband to grow. What are you passionate about? You can start a career again. America is a land of opportunities. How can you be a failure? LookBe grateful for who you are because so many are not as lucky as you are. Everything will fall into shape you'll see, you can do all things through Him who strengthens you my dear. Good luck and God bless

DonMayor said...

Just like my people here always say.
' fix this God!'

Empress CHO said...

Ask questions around where you stay. Know how the law works and how you can utilize it to your benefit. There were more than enough reasonable advice in the part 1, frankly dont know why this is here. I hope B.Vs based abroad or have walked in same shoes can render very practical and realistic advise.

Make up your mind, if you want to leave or not. Your attitude about that from your write-up is pretty hazy. Stop acting so helpless! You have no marriage as it is. Confidence will start building once you get put of there and start getting something going on for you.
Decide you have had enough and get out!
Where there is a will, there will be a way....so how's that will of yours?

The last thing ...if it should exist that is... you should ever rely on for counsel about marital choice is Prophecy of these pastors or whatever they call themselves.
If i were a "pastor" and an under-achieving brother brings a girl with prospects. What do you expect me to say if not YES? I mean the prospects of higher tithes, thanksgivings, seed sowings, sacrificial offering, Pastor's week, pastors birthday, extra ordinary harvests and all in sight...of course I will say Yes. Who no wan buy private jet and buy designers?
Best believe that is what most pastors are working with. Many marriage prophecies have calculators guiding them.
Sad, you entered one chance with a con-man and a manchild.


charitybino said...

Hmm. May God rebuild your home and make peace reign supreme in your home. Amen.
May peace reign supreme in every home. Amen

temmy yemmy said...

God take control.

@Tee_y

Na Me Talk Am!!! said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

You guys need a break from each other. Make it a prayerful one too!

Intelligentia princess loves chikito and Linda Eze said...

Poster you're in America where women are valued and honoured and you're still asking questions. I beg divorce that silly a** horsehead of yours sharply. Kai,madam you've over dull yourself. make sure u take half of his wealth.
Fight silly with him and make sure you have the custody of your children. Viola,that wud be your meal ticket for the main time. Don't ever beg him to love u or reconsider the union. If he doesn't want it,then let it go. Every woman should be treated with love and respect. No woman should ever marry out of pity or beg a man to marry.
I know your next phase of life is not gonna be easy,be sure God got your back. Your late parent in heaven got your back too. It's better being alone than being where you're not wanted or needed,its very depressing.
Cheers poster,Jesus loves you more,o.k. My prayers for is this,may God provide a good man that will be father,mother,husband and everything you've ever wanted in life.
Shalooooooooooooooooom.

Anonymous said...

Poster, why haven't you divorced the guy na? This time you are gonna have to leave his kids with him till you are sorted. If your family house is gonna drain you morally or psychologically, go to a friend. What state are you? Maybe I can fix you somewhere till you can get your own place. All you need do is put his broke ungrateful a** behind you. I am married but truth is women don't need a man to validate you

MrsBee

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

Madam abeg park one side.
Nobody forced you into marrying him.
Stop acting like a saint n carry ur cross peacefully or better still divorce him.
We have not heard from ur husband's side..... I know he will have worst things to say about u.
See the way u came on sm to write bad stuff about the father of your kids n a man u once claimed to love.


If u are tired of ur marriage, then pack your bags and go.
Guess u liked the way bvs cussed him out.
He is broke and u are equally broke.....is not only a man that is supposed to make money or be financially stable before marriage.

Stop looking for sympathy..... Bridle ur tongue n show ur husband some respect.

Is high time we stop blaming only the man or woman for breakdown in marriage.


Marriage is a collective effort... The two of u needs to work on ur marriage.

Ajah Nneka Vincent said...

Madam!Madam!madam! How many times did I call u? Build ur home!I repeat build ur home and stop all these chronicle ur writing.Its not so rossy down there.This is my 10 cents for you.

Dietitian Nezz! said...

Pls call the prophet and tell him what is happening so he can give u solution.
I pity ladies that listen to prophets when it comes to marriage...will they live with you???

Nonye Inspired (James Bond's Girl) said...

My dear all I can say it is just let the past behind..You really need to encourage yourself cos of your kids..you can start by getting a job or handwork no matter how little and do weekend courses to keep up what you lost in the university..Be brave ok and Please discuss with your husband and also invite someone your husband respects very well and have a heart to heart talk..I believe there will be a reconciliation between you guys..May God give you wisdom in all your endeavours..

Anonymous said...

If u are not happy leave!wetin u wan hear again.

LAS GidDY said...

My dear your husband corroborated with his pastor/prophet and used you big time with his concocted prophecy but you were too blind and naive to reason logically. He never loved you, he only got attached to you based on the benefits he could accrue from you. And by his current his actions, he's simply and indirectly seeking freedom to explore the US and of course other women....

I suggest you both have a heart-to-heart talk and see how you can work things out otherwise separation is lurking around the corner.

And why did you marry out of "pity"....and not love?

Anonymous said...

hello aunty stella and blog vistors i need your help.
am curently going thru crises situations in my marriage and i need the number or email address of any certified marriage counselor. its a physical, emotional and verbal abuse situation and am distraught. kindly save a soul. thanks

Emilia Peter said...

Poster u guys should talk about dis issue and pls dnt go back to dat pastor, pls pray.

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Waoh,this is deep

Anonymous said...

Don't move out yet!! See what to do, go find a degree programs to do most people go into nursing keep a blind eye so he helps you out with the kids while you sort yourself out academically.

Anonymous said...

This is the best advise I will give you. Go to Jesus Christ, he is the only one that can fix it for you.

Mrs shantelle said...

Some of these prophets and their visions..poster are u sure there's nothing u can do to save this marriage? Especially nw that two beautiful kids are involved. Don't just give up still try.the lord is your strength

Apples ( SDKBlog Shrink) said...

Madam, you don't need us to tell you what to do, I know it's hard but it's still up to you to make a decision, you alone know what you want now.

If you want out of the marriage, go ahead and get a divorce. Focus on being happy!

Chiamaka L said...

Elbows on my laps, chin on my palms... This is serious. We can't cry over spilt milk/ s3m3n, but we can encourage you to try fixing what is broken in your marriage. Try counselling. Plus you need your self esteem back. Maybe gym and do some clothes and lingerie change. feel beautiful. Love yourself, and only then can you love another. Meanwhile, it takes 2 to tango, so your husband need to be willing to mend this relationship. God be with you

Anonymous said...

You married him when he didnt have a job, sponsored his abroad trip, work to feed him wen u were pregnant, leave school cos of him........ Rly? Is he your child? A wise saying says ,while helping others, never forget yourself' you said you never loved him buh u married him bcos of d potentials u saw. Nd cos of ur prophet. And thereby leaving those you love nd love u un return just to be with him cos 'of d predicted sucess by ur prophet' wat do u want us to tell you. Is it not obvious that d guy was just looking for a ladder to get to where he is now? Now dat he is there, he is ready to throw d ladder away. Best is to forget pple like that, pick up d pieces nd move on with ur life. D downfall of a man is not his end. With God u can rise again. Forget him. He is bad news. I am sure as he is already in a relationship with 'd love of his life' just leave all d sacrifices nd put it in mind dAt u did all for God. And God will repay u according to his loving kindness. Move on with ur life plsss. Start afresh. Leave him alone. God will repay everyone. Buh u are sounding like u still love him. Dats wia d problem lies. This thing called love never allow pple to think properly

Yummy chick cum mummy said...

Be sincere, v read the first n second poster. Y can't u make ur marriage work ... U sound like a nag and seems determined, r u dating g another guy... The grass is not greener at the other side oo, dont b confused... Well, d ball is in ur court... Stop seeking pastor all abt. Go to God in prayers and fasting yourself and tell him to lead u and give a sign.. . Cos seriously u really not v any Tangible excuse... And if u want to leave. Good luck

EESAH (Christ Lover) said...

"I know some of you will so quick to call me stupid, but it was our pastor that said that he saw that God wanted us to be married. The pastor/prophet told me to be very patient with him that things will get better"

You see, this one of the reasons why I hardly comment on Chronicles. Most of the narrators are very childish and somewhat stupid I'm sorry to say. They never learn..

You mean in 2016, people still allow their so called STUPID PROPHETS to choose a lifetime partner for them.. To check with a 'prophet' to see if their partner is right for them.. Someone who doesn't even know how his tomorrow is gonna be like or what is gonna happen in the next 10 minutes of their life..

And she says every year the prophet has new prophecies but still can't read between the lines.. Madam u no get issues lai lai

Duchess without a duke said...

May God help you madam

Anonymous said...

Prophet said this, prophet said that. Rubbish
Why didn't you go down on your knees and hear from God yourself? Now where is that so-called man of God?

MOST BEAUTIFUL said...

All these fake Prophets...leading people astray since 19kpirigidim. Poster please move on with your life, let him go while you find your self esteem again. Life is too short to be grumpy and sad especially over a man and in this case, a man that you don't love. Him and his Prophet played ten ten on your head. Now your eyes are clear, move out and move on. Peace✌

Anonymous said...

Dear Poster, You won't be able to move on with anything until you learn to forgive yourself and him. It seems like you are defending a previous post. I don't care what others have said but you can't heal anything by being defensive or bringing up the past. You admit to having a lot of hate for your aunt and now your husband. You need to heal unless you will keep going around in circles. Trust me on this a new man will not change things I have moved from relationship to relationship thinking someone loving me will suddenly make the past okay. No dear you learning to love your aunt and your husband in spite of their actions will give you peace which I think is what you desperately need.

Choose to forgive and not defend your actions because you are justifying your hatred. Ask the holy spirit to help you on your journey. There are things you can't forgive without God's grace. Please don't stay in an abusive situation. Only God knows the truth and if you ask him he will show you the path to healing and peace. I am catholic but I don't believe in confiding in priest or anybody I take my problems to God and he provides solutions. I'll recommend Dr Charles Stanley video series on forgiveness. They are available on youtube. Take your time process your feelings and choose peace.

Never bring up the past in your marriage neither good nor evil. Learn not to expect anything for doing good do it because it is the right thing to do. Hurt people hurt other people. Whenever your husband lashes out at you try to process the event from the angle why did he do that not he hurt my feelings. What has him so burdened that he chooses to cause me pain. I am not advocating you stay in an abusive relationship, you have children your options should be what is best for them. Nothing is Bury your ego and the why me and choose to forgive. Words cant describe the peace you will feel. It is not too late to get a degree or register in a gym if you want to be in the best shape but do it for you. If all you have left to give to your marriage is how much you've given but not received it will never work. LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST.
Start living for yourself and your children while God sorts your husband out. You'll probably hate me for this but it will get to a point in your forgiveness journey you'll apologise for not being a better wife and niece.

Leave your husband deceit and desperation in the past. NEVER EVER SPEAK TO THAT MANIPULATIVE PROPHET AGAIN. Listen for God we all have that ability.God is not a God of pastor, prophet and priest. HE IS YOUR GOD, YOUR FATHER AND YOUR CREATOR. This should be the end of anyone praying or talking to God on your behalf. You have mouth use it and listen. Any decision that gives you peace in the midst of your storm is from God. It may not be the decision you want but it will be the decision that ends your suffering. YOU WANT ADVICE SEEK GOD. We all are flawed and give flawed advice besides we don't know your husband or your aunts story perhaps they will describe you as you have described them. So throw out your truth and seek God's truth. You can trust me on this you won't see yourself as such a martyr anymore when God opens your eyes. I wish you the best. Forgive and trust God while I can't guarantee your husband will be a better man I can guarantee you'll be happy and you'll have joy

Anonymous said...

Poster. Still dont believe your 1 sided stories ooo ..im not idiot like others.����������

oguike akudo said...

Honestly is better u separate for a while. Atleast hustling in the US is easier. Go out and hustle for ur kids.

Atheist. said...

Once said*

JAMES ADE said...

Get a marriage counselor and work things out with him, no one is perfect, you as well must have your own wrongs. Do u know maybe U would have been 6ft if u had married someone, a lot are unseen when you choose to follow another route in life, we might not know what God has kept us away from. Just thank God and be grateful. Things will be fine, he will come back to his senses just do your part

Madam Small Chops said...

The only thing I see here is that his pastor chose him for you,what happened to your personal conviction? Maybe you should the pastor what you are facing.Well let me read part one first.

Anonymous said...

Madam poster, you are sending a rejoinder just to garner sympathy, well you sure got it from some BVs. I'm not convinced, I'm sorry.
1. You said you never loved him from the beginning, so your story isn't from 'love to hate' like you claimed.
2. You said he was broke, and that it was his family that sustained you guys for a while, and you still claim you sponsored him to the US. If his family could sustain you guys, then they could have as well sponsored him to the US.
3. You said you are an orphan, and that it was by the help of your 'wicked aunt/mother' that you relocated to the States. If she was 'wicked' like you stated, I don't think she would have helped you in the 1st place.
4. You said you sponsored your husband to the US, how possible is that since you are not rich, and as at the time of your marriage to him, you were barely between 18-23 considering that you claim to be 26 now.
5. If the only violent act of him you remember is him pushing you to a couch and apologizing, then he isn't violent at all.
6. The summary of this all is this...you need to respect your husband and take care of your family. In areas you are the problem, please resolve it amicably with him, and let him do same. If at the end, you still want to go ahead with the divorce, then good luck. Gracias

Anonymous said...

How do people build a home that was started on deceits? She was made to believe false prophecies and because she taught marrying was going to be an escape from her not so comfortable home she ran into the hands of a terrible man. If a man knows you have no family to return to or a friend to count on, you are doomed if he's an abusive man. She should remain there till she's aged and can no longer hustle or make a thing out of her life?

MrsBee

ANGELRAY4SDK said...

Send in ur chronicle lets counsel u, that's what we are good at.

Mystique said...

How do you people just believe whatever these prophets say without going to seek the face of God for yourself, by yourself? Just how? You saw the signs before you got married but you were trusting your husband's prophet (by the way, it seems like they both were in cohorts and planned it together). Now you are saying "had I known".

As for all those fake prophets, here's what the Lord says to you in Deuteronomy 18:20

But the prophet who presumes to speak a word in My name which I have not commanded him to speak, or which he speaks in the name of other gods—that prophet shall die.’ 21 If you say in your heart, ‘How will we know and recognize the word which the Lord has not spoken?’ 22 When a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord and the thing does not happen or come true, that is the thing which the Lord has not spoken. The prophet has spoken it presumptuously; you shall not be afraid of him.

Poster, it shall be well with you. All these will pass. May the Lord strengthen and guide you, amen!

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

This is really touching. You've really been though a lot. The kind husband sef.... all these prophets don't help matters.... Let me think and revert to you. Cos really, if you are my sis or friend you won't even be saying al this because that wedding won't even hold as long as I'm alive. That gold-digging man and his pastor prophet whatever!

Sharon Aminu said...

Well now that u re here,start by getting a job,still manage him until u do that CU's u need finance, then after that leave just be looking at him don't disturb him again focus on urself and kids even if in ur mind u re not in the marriage don't go empty steal his money good amount pls, get a job nd start afresh.forever is too long to b unhappy abeg.

Anonymous said...

U will need a life partner o don't know how to pray for urself? Now the did has been done u are now pas
sing the blame to the pastor,in which u urself can pray and God will do it.
In psalm 32:8 and then this bible passage says call upon me and I Wii answer thee and show thee great and mighty thing which thou knowest not pls continue from there .
Even people that prayed faces up and down in marriage not to talk of u that u did not pray at all

Scarlett said...

Poster, your husband na bad guy sha! see as he connived with his prophet to brainwash you.

that was how one foolish idiot told me to a prophet said i should break up with my then boyfriend that he will never marry me. if i had a fish brain like you did, i would have foolishly believed. But as a strong head that i am, i told them to go fuck themselves. Now i'm happily married with kids to the same dude while the fools are still single at 35.

Madam, in your case, always follow your heart and not your head, since its obviously that your head can be easily manipulated.

Now he has his green-card, he should enjoy. I won't advice you to leave your marriage o, but you wear the shoes and know where it pinches. I think you know what to do. It's never to late for Love to find you.

PS: those written words were not meant to be abusive. forgive me if you if you think otherwise.

Jenny zee said...

Try nd work on ur marriage,that's d only thing I can tell u

Anonymous said...

Thanks.i just learned about forgiveness from your post.

Anonymous said...

👍👍👊

redbotafly said...

Madam ds ur story don tire person honestly. Y didnt u say al of in ur first chronicle? Cal d prophet n tel him wats goin on. Blind prophets wit their fake prophesies.
If u dnt want to be married anymore,take a walk.

Elastic said...

Nice advice

Anonymous said...

Porta writing a memo 🙌,woah!

Elastic said...

Please I have read this Chronicle twice and couldn't fault the husband...Please aunty Chronicles, what did your husband do?

Push up said...

Aunty leave him na, it's like you have found a new bobo, you keep blaming everyone but yourself... Pastor: who forced you to listen. Husband: why don't you do your research or run when you saw the signs. Mother: that she took you to yanki. I don't understand your chronicle again o just leave abi did they tie your legs? You are begining to sound like Tblizz

Push up said...

Help me ask this madam, did anyone force you? I think you must have nagged your hubby so much and about the fact that you made him who he is. When there's no money love dies, if you feel you can survive just leave.

Anonymous said...

Madam the 🔑 to your happiness lies with you. Forsake wrath and anger you'll be fine.
I'll advise you stay in your marriage, try doing things that make you happy "hobbies" healthy ones minus alcohol & cheating on him. Go shopping, eateries with your kids, parks, vacation if possible, hang around with lively friends that won't make you feel less.....
Concentrate on yourself & kids, don't show him his actions are getting to you, ignore him if you can.
You'll see him crawling back to you very soon.

ukwu dimond said...

poster the choice is yours.

Anonymous said...

This advice is deep, poster go with this advice. It will hurt but you will be grateful an angle came to drop this words for you. Peace is free and is God only can give it. This is a Godly counsel.selah

Anonymous said...

THE PROBLEM HERE IS NOT HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH CHRIST BUT LISTENING TO "PASTORS".

A very committed lady in her church (note Church and not committed to God) dated a man for 6 months. Both at some points belonged to the choir. The man in her own view was quite dedicated. Even her pastor confirmed that he is her husband. And of course as you'd guess, the man is loaded. So they wedded and lady went to live with her husband. It was then that her eyes popped open like popcorn; the man is a very committed Muslim; almost the boko type! He had boasted to his friends that he must marry this lady and when the thing got down to a bet running into millions of naira, he decided to join the church and subsequently the choir. Of course your guess is a good as mine, marriage packed up as soon as it started. The lady even in counselling found it difficult to forgive her pastor. But wasn't she laying her frustration on another person?

PLEASE LADIES, THE LORD'S WORD IS THAT WHOEVER SEEKS HIM WILL FIND HIM. FAST AND PRAY LIKE JESUS TAUGHT US; AS A HABIT NOT JUST WHEN YOU HAVE PROBLEMS.

John 10:27 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.



Begin to read you scriptures everyday and pray and fast like thrice a week, and you'd know him.

Anonymous said...

Ma**y was 19 and very beautiful; six feet tall, ebony chocolate (if you imagine what I mean), and "an hour glass" shape that turns heads 360 degrees. Men began to come for marriage when she was 16 (looked more mature than sixteen) and above all, the daughter of a known lady professor who insisted that she'd complete her masters before marriage.

At 25, she had hit the jackpot of a suitor and her mother capitulated. A*e, her suitor is an oil magnate with an intimidating personae. Well, mama had to consult pastor to ascertain the veracity of the magnate's proposal. Pastor confirmed it and told them that the marriage is blessed with 3 boys and lots more. finally the wedding was fixed "in six months time". All the while, Ma**y's friend (a seasoned Christian) had encouraged her to take out time and seek God . . .pray and do not allow folks to think for you . . . have a personal relationship with him etc" but the "bride" will have none of it . . . she's been swept off her feet by the whole exactness of "the dream jackpot" and the anticipation of the family.

It was during "counselling for the wedding" that the first shocker came . . . "why does the pastor want you to be coming in turns for counselling?" Her friend had asked but she could not give any reason. The "man of God" knows what he was doing. Well, long story short; Ma**y was raped by the "man of God". And what became of his "marriage confirmation"? Well no marriage held . . .The lady's eyes opened to all the deceits, she was too downcast to consider marriage to a man . . . she hated men . . . the downward spiral continued to the point of attempted suicide; and saved by her lady christian friend. It was then that M . . . decided to seek God in fasting and prayers that she overcame the passion to take her own life and made peace with Christ. M. . . is not married yet (in her late 20's) but has overcome the hatred for men . . .

Let's see Ecclesiastes eleven vs. nine

"You who are young, be happy while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment."

John ten vs. twenty seven:
"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me":

Become a cam model said...

Become a cam model

Becky Divine said...

*cos with the way you sound

*bare your mind

Fiona said...

I believe you were manipulated by ur husband and pastor into marrying him. There was never love between you two. Just divorce him and start all over again. It's never too late. Your kids will be with you till they are old enough to make decisions on their own.

Anonymous said...

A "work" okwa ya? Issorrai.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Dewdrop this is deep and disturbing

Anonymous said...

RIP English

Anonymous said...

How many times have this same prophet told me come up and advised against. More will still not listen and go to ask prophet /pastor. Madam, accept responsibility for your choice. That is the first step. All the best.

T said...

I agree with you. I also feel he connived with the ' prophet ' to scam you into marriage.
Well left to me, the way forward is separation..not necessarily divorce..just give him space, focus on your kids, job and if possible, make more effort to look better..all the best..hope everything works out well

peace maker said...

Madam, hit d gym ASAP and lose those excess fat and big tummy. If u divorce him tomorrow, no better man will be serious with u if u hv big belly.They can only fk u and go

Anonymous said...

if i woze that Kpomo lips of yours...judgina oshi. and no, i ain't the poster.

Anonymous said...

If God told Joseph what he would go through while he was young before becoming a king, he would tell God to take the crown away from his head. It's the same thing with marriage. There are 3 stages in marriage. The Yorubas pray about it a lot. They say "oko to ma ba wa ka le" that means a husband that will stay till evening.

In marriage there is morning, afternoon and night. It is impossible to have a great morning afternoon and night. The most important is your afternoon and night. Most prophets who are not so strong always see the morning. That is why when marriages crash, especially if your pastor told u it is OK, u keep wondering how and why it happened. Perhaps your pastor saw your afternoon and night, but you are not patient enough in the morning and so your marriages crash.

Marriage is a combination of the physical and spiritual. Demonic manipulations can cause enmity between couples through constant fights, strange women and strange men. Poster perhaps God used you to help that man but he is under serious spiritual attack so his helper can live him and then it will lead to his damnation. do not take things wiv kids glove. We do not live in an ordinary world. Make your partner your friend. Discuss always wiv them. Pray every time. That is the only weapon we have.

Seyi....

Anonymous said...

You know you can contact the authorities and tell them he used you for papers/green card and they will start investigating you. Also, there are various organizations and government programs in the US(I live in the US), that will assist you financially especially since you have kids. You can get free schools, a card for food, even assistance with shelter if need be...
No need coming to Bfs per se..I mean, you do not sound like you reside in the US or your first call of action would be "Google" searching for such phrases as: government assistance for low income women/households, free food/shelter for needy etc...
Again you live in the US and have the internet- trust me, you have the upper hand over your husband ...I don't think you are ready to leave/start afresh...thats what I'm sensing here...if you really and truly ready to start afresh...just start with google and start calling some non-profit agencies- they will assist you...WELCOME TO AMERICA...

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha!

NDVALERIE said...

Madam ,i want to advice you settle things out with your husband.

Anonymous said...

Madam poster, you are sending a rejoinder just to garner sympathy, well you sure got it from some BVs. I'm not convinced, I'm sorry.
1. You said you never loved him from the beginning, so your story isn't from 'love to hate' like you claimed.
2. You said he was broke, and that it was his family that sustained you guys for a while, and you still claim you sponsored him to the US. If his family could sustain you guys, then they could have as well sponsored him to the US.
3. You said you are an orphan, and that it was by the help of your 'wicked aunt/mother' that you relocated to the States. If she was 'wicked' like you stated, I don't think she would have helped you in the 1st place.
4. You said you sponsored your husband to the US, how possible is that since you are not rich, and as at the time of your marriage to him, you were barely between 18-23 considering that you claim to be 26 now.
5. If the only violent act of him you remember is him pushing you to a couch and apologizing, then he isn't violent at all.
6. The summary of this all is this...you need to respect your husband and take care of your family. In areas you are the problem, please resolve it amicably with him, and let him do same. If at the end, you still want to go ahead with the divorce, then good luck. Gracias

Hadey Halaba said...

Alright Poster
* you were never in love so you haven't experienced Love turning into hate.
* you married out of self pity both for urself and yur guy.
* work on your attitude. Don't remind him of all the sacrifices u made. Mordecai didn't remind the King the good deed, God did @ the appointed time.
* in as much as men tend to "change" attitude after child birth, they can still be loving and caring.

* We are who we want to be. You can make it work. Learn to love him, I believe he will return the favour.

* don't put your torrid past in his face. Don't assume everyone is wicked.

Dats all for now.

I am the analyser

la effizy said...

1000000 likes portable!!!
You finish work!!!

ROCCO said...

Keep on remixing ur chronicle when part3 is out I will advice you

sassychick *i am stelladimokokorkus best friend* said...

Go and die

Anonymous said...

My dear,it was when I wanted yo get married I believed that God can talk to anyone no matter who you are,just ask...I was confused cos suitors were down and all the pastors chose my present husband who was the most handsome but I didn't like,so o went to God in prayers and cried to him to show me if he really loves me and am his daughter...I told him that if he could show them why now me?and I slept off there and he really showed me...years after no issue and we went for test he is perfectly okay and I have some issues...this man is the reason am not depressed,he gets offended when people poke their nose and ask questions that people started gossiping that he is the one at fault,whenever I see my period he knows how disappointed I will be feeling and he comes home early,buys stuffs,and is always all over me joking and playing...he is God's perfect gift

La'creamie said...

Lol....anon why evils hahaha... @Rip English

La'creamie said...

Lol....anon why evils hahaha... @Rip English

La'creamie said...

Lol....anon u craze ooo...

La'creamie said...

Ikwakwakwakwakwa....anon plz I don piss for pant

CHI EXOTIC CHI EXOTIC said...

I'm a very religious person,but I don't take what men of God tell me about marriage seriously

Let me take that decision alone and I would take all the blame if anything goes wrong
I was barely 18 when prophesies of marriage was flying upandan
One church program, one prophesy of marriage

OK na
I'm in my 20s, where the husband at?
Men of God are not always right.

Anonymous said...

Madam is he abusive? If he isn't then everything you talked about can be resolve.

cakes by Bella's, Abuja. 58DA8ADF, 07080305132, @cakes_by_bellas said...

Kai anon, why evils nau? Na really RIP English

I love sdkb said...

May ur wisdom be renewed daily Anonymous... Poster, for the love of christ go with this advice. Am in a similar situation and i easily get depressed but for a while now my medication for my depression is speaking positive words to myself and my home... I have also learnt to use my child in my prayers to God because its a big trauma for kids from a broken home when they get to the purberty/adolescence stage (talking from exprience) even though some dont like accepting it. So pls poster think deep... Deeper than whatever is on the surface... It has been working lil by lil for me after having a strong discussion with hubby... Poster, i pray the prince of peace and love visits your home. And i learnt this during my hurting times "LOVE IS NOT A FEELING, ITS A CHOICE". Feelings can fade at anytime but when you choose to love someone, you love their perfect imperfection. Peace poster.

Anonymous said...

You said: your aunt was very wicked and maltreated you, thus you married a man you did not love cos you saw potential, and the pastor prophesied marriage. Now, your husband has got his green card, he does not appreciate you after all your hard work and two children.

Hmm, Just like you do not appreciate your aunt's efforts, now your husband is doing the same to you. Try apologizing to your aunt and show gratitude, take responsibilities for your thoughts and actions and carve out a life for yourself. Divorce is not the answer - please don't hate anyone, it will only eat you up and tear down your body!

What you see in others, they will also see in you - What you resist will persist, you are the only one that can break the cycle.

Anonymous said...

It is well with you ok. Where are you ? Are you in Nigeria?

Anonymous said...

Lol..
Am from Ihiagwa oo!!e wu nwa fo ihiagwwa??

Anonymous said...

You have said exactly what's in my mind. She's tired of the marriage because the man has refused to be rich. So far, she's just telling lies to make us support her leaving the marriage. Madam, if u want to go, Abeg go. If u want to stay, pls stay. U don't need advise because u have not said the whole truth.

Anonymous said...

Telling so much lies. How can u deliberately drop out of school when u know very well without education u will suffer? As an American citizen that u is nau, how can u be poor after all these yrs over there? Ur laziness pass ur husband own. The two of u are a wrong combination that's what I see not like u are better than him

Anonymous said...

I feel for you young lady, because I can empathize with your situation being in a similar predicament myself. Here is what happened. You were used by your husband and his Prophet because of the green card possibility (at the time, and if was not a possibility then, his Prophet is perhaps also a 'Seer'). I sincerely doubt the existence of love from the very foundation of the marriage. Your husband is an opportunist who will only see you in the light of what he can use you for or get from you. People will curse you out and judge you for whatever decision you take because they do not understand your situation and its dynamics. You are the only one who does. Your biggest advantage now is that you are not in Nigeria, use it to the fullest. Get out there and work your way out of your situation. A separation is necessary at this point because you don't want your children growing up in the midst of that acrimony and you also need a break for your sanity. It will not come cheap and you will work for it. But you will be fine. Trust me, I've been there. Note also, that when you are financially stable, he will come looking for you because that is the way he is, its his default. But you will be better able to negotiate terms and draw boundaries. But do not do anything out of unnecessary sentiments. be very cautious also, his type is very jealous and can be violent if pushed to the wall. You have only one alternative here. Use it wisely. Do not be deceived by anyone's backward mentality. By the way, I'm also in the U.S. P.S. there was a lady who gave very matured advice yesterday where she talked about a separation. i think she did more justice to your issue.

Love Struck said...

Madam, send this link to your hubby, am sure he will have a response to this your chronicle. Then a solution might come forth.

Anonymous said...

I feel for you young lady, because I can empathize with your situation being in a similar predicament myself. Here is what happened. You were used by your husband and his Prophet because of the green card possibility (at the time, and if was not a possibility then, his Prophet is perhaps also a 'Seer'). I sincerely doubt the existence of love from the very foundation of the marriage. Your husband is an opportunist who will only see you in the light of what he can use you for or get from you. People will curse you out and judge you for whatever decision you take because they do not understand your situation and its dynamics. You are the only one who does. Your biggest advantage now is that you are not in Nigeria, use it to the fullest. Get out there and work your way out of your situation. A separation is necessary at this point because you don't want your children growing up in the midst of that acrimony and you also need a break for your sanity. It will not come cheap and you will work for it. But you will be fine. Trust me, I've been there. Note also, that when you are financially stable, he will come looking for you because that is the way he is, its his default. But you will be better able to negotiate terms and draw boundaries. But do not do anything out of unnecessary sentiments. be very cautious also, his type is very jealous and can be violent if pushed to the wall. You have only one alternative here. Use it wisely. Do not be deceived by anyone's backward mentality. By the way, I'm also in the U.S. P.S. there was a lady who gave very matured advice yesterday where she talked about a separation. i think she did more justice to your issue.

Anonymous said...

Pls try and work it out.

Anonymous said...

I know some of you will so quick to call me stupid, 'but it was our pastor that said that he saw that God wanted us to be married'. It is because of the pastor statement you are stupid. Your pastor is a Human being. A man. What does he know about your relationship. Hahahaha all these people looking at all seeing eye of pastor I laugh.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Can't believe you said this!

Anonymous said...

I like this advice. What is not working is not working. Talk it over. Sit him down and talk...Instead of throwing tantrums. Get a hold of yourself.Youve made a mistake. That pastor was working for him. Fake pastors everywhere. But errors have corrections. Thats why pencils have erasers. And pens can cross out. Sit up. You wont be doing your children any good by staying in loveless marriage. So talk...its time to take a decision

sisi eko said...

Seyi you are very wise. Deep analysis.

Blossom said...

It is sad what the marriage has turned into. It is often said that it's in marriage that you will see people for who they truly are.

If couple's therapy will work and you are interested in saving your marriage,pls get help as a couple but if you feel it won't work,move on.

Why do people even base their life decisions on a prophet still baffle me till date.

Anonymous said...

U see my dear,,people like we dey here dey look for dat kind favour..but we nor see..tnx to God shall I Don still strangle move.make u face am he go better

aisha jane said...

Nice one seyi

aisha jane said...

God bless you Anon 19.01.. Your kids are here dear

adunniola20 said...

Amen@ asiha Jane prayer to anon19:01.
Poster pray, pray & pray about ur home, forgive more, let go of bitterness. Ask God grant u guys peace, love,& understanding, u need work on urself. Firstly ask God to change d negative characters u both have & d ones God didn't change, accept lovingly. Marriage is not easy but rewarding,.forget prophecies, prophesy what u want to/in ur home. Cry anytime u feel like & get up when are thru, forge forward with u man positively. One day @ a time pls & dont give in to failure. Trust God lead u thru. Shalom.

Anonymous said...

All dis fake pastors n prophetess kip landing young ones dat lack faith in God in2 destruction. Na so I stupidly follow 1 of ma friends 2 one prophetess (am not dis prayer house gal) 2 tell me if d guy coming 4 ma hand in marriage is ma hubby, d woman said yes, despite all ma bad dreams about d guy after d visit, I didn't stop praying, na so God open d guy mouth n he told me dat he is in2 street, I told him d only street I kw of is yahoo, he said no dat it's buying n selling of drugs (cocaine) . Same guy d prophetess said is ma hubby. We should be careful wit all dis fak asses parading demeleves as men n women of God ooooooo. Mmmmmmm #diamondindhouse#

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