STAND ALONE NARRATIVE..
WHEN LOVE BECOMES HATE IN A MARRIAGE PART 2
Thanks for posting my first chronicle. Thank you for having created such an encouraging platform(your blog) where women like myself can come here and seek advice without open up to some "friends" or "family members" that are judgemental and gossips. This is the continuation to my chronicle.
I noticed some people in the comment sections mentioned my weight and some even assumed that I had married my husband when he had money. Also about me calling him goat, boy and broke. Well, those words came out at a moment I was really upset. I respect my husband on top of everything that has happened and God knows those words just came out of frustration.
Actually, when I got married to my husband, he didn't have a job, his family was the one supporting us for a bit. I sponsored him to come to the U.S, now he has his green card. I remember when him and his family promised me that things will get better once he gets his green card and would be able to work then he can go into business and all will be well.
I know some of you will so quick to call me stupid, but it was our pastor that said that he saw that God wanted us to be married. The pastor/prophet told me to be very patient with him that things will get better. Imagine oh, every year the prophet has new prophecies, Stella I tire oh...As in enh, I feel like I have wasted my youth with the wrong person.
I remember then I had successful guys after me that genuinely loved me and the prophet said that I should pick my now husband because he sees he is the best guy for me. Before I even got married to my husband, he showed me signs of abusiveness(he pushed and I feel on the couch) but later apologized and begged me. For all the commenters that used harsh words in regards to my weight, actually, I am not that fat, I weigh 150 pounds, my husband just thinks I'm fat because I have a bit of tummy after having my two children.
I am an orphan, I was fortunate to come to U.S with my aunty(who referred as my mom in the first chronicle) but she is so wicked as in I just feel it was just God that use her to help me, when I met my husband he was so sweet and seemed very sincere. I remember him being the only person I used to talk to about what I was going through with my aunty at home and he would always encourage and invite me to church to pray and that is how I ended up meeting his pastor/prophet.
Funny thing is I never loved him, I felt sorry for him and believed in the potential I saw. I just had this really strong feeling to help me. The prophet just kept telling me that my husband would be successful and the love will come and that I should choose him over the other prospects. That's how I married him oh. Now I'm just confused, Nawa simi see trouble oh. E be like say they use jazz on my head. I tire oh...I am so fed up. I am at a point where I just wnat to start fresh with my life. I honestly feel that I am married my husband because I was affected by everything I experienced at home living with Aunty.
Now I don't know where to start from,I dropped out of uni because I had to work and help take care of bills while my husband couldn't work. Imagine, I used to work even when I was eight months pregnant, now my husband has his green card and he tells me that he doesn't appreciate what I did for him because I am always reminding of everything I did for him. I used to ask myself how do couples go from love to hate, but now I understand.
Please, I am here to get sincere advice because I am fed up of my situation. I just feel like a failure, waisted many years of my life. Where do I go from here?
I just want to say that it would be nice if bvs can be more sensitive with their responses. When people send in chronicles they want advice and encouragement, please let's encourage each other instead of being judgemental, we are humans and we are going through challenges in one or another area in our lives, so let's be encouragers instead of judging one without knowing what exactly led to their decisions or unhappiness in life.
Please, advice me where I can start from here. I have lost confidence, I forgot how to be a woman because of the kind man I chose. Thank you and God bless you all my fellow bvs.
*Hmmmm i am still stunned that all these happened...If you still insist on not loving him and think you have nothing more to save,then discuss the way forward with him,I will not advise you to leave your Marriage at all.
I feel so sad for you but hey you are in America where there is ample opportunity to start again....