NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
Good day Stella,l love the work you are doing here,God bless you. Please I need your advice and that of BVS. Please hide my email. I have a girlfriend,she attended UNILAG.We are both from Edo state. We have dated for 5years.
l love her and we are planning to settle down next year. Now,the problem is that she is a stutterer, the first day l met her l knew she was a stutterer but went ahead and dated her because l love her( she's a nice girl) so,her stuttering nature means nothing to me but to her it means the whole world.
Her stammering can be rated 50%. Stella, this girl is very smart,intelligent and outspoken but her stammering nature drives her back. She feels depressed anytime she wants to achieve something( which she can achieve) but couldn't achieve it because of her deficiency(stammering).Eg: During her defence in school,she was well prepared but her deficiency got her and she got B, she cried a lot that day because she knew she can do more than that.Her deficiency had made her to curtail her social life with people also made her to keep quiet when in public(social gathering)even when she has something to say.
Stella, she loves teaching and would love to be a lecturer. There was a school that advertised for teachers,she went and at the end of the day she did well. The proprietor of the school said he would communicate with them(the applicants) up till now,she hasn't received any call/ message but her fellow applicants have .We know it's because of her deficiency that made the proprietor not to call her because he must have observed her during the interview .Now,she's considering dropping the thought of teaching and go for any office work that won't make her a public eye.
We have tried out many solutions like googling on how to control stammering and meeting a therapist but it keeps occurring. l have told her to stop bothering herself but she never stopped because she feels that her deficiency will affect her future and may hinder her from attaining higher goals. Her stammering nature sets her back from her aspirations.
Please Stella and BVS,is there any other solution to this? Or is it really natural? Is it best for her to go for any office work since she has known her limitations? Please help me out cos this is what that matters to her in this WHOLE world.Thanks. God bless.
Its not easy for people who stutter to stand in public and talk.Teaching job?I dont think its advisable cos she is already so emotional about it and a teaching job will only bring out more emotions. How long does she drag the words before pronouncing them?
I heard of a teacher who was relieved of his job in primary school years back becos the whole kids in his class mimicked him to a point that they began to stutter and the parents didnt find it funny and began to take off their kids from the school.The management had to let him go to save their school.
Encourage her to take up and office job and then try to master her speech.
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
PAYING FOR YOUR DRINK ON A DATE.
Hi Stella, Keep up the good work, I don't know if this is the right email to send this to, but please help me post this. I'm a silent BV, and I comment but not often. Ok here goes my story, i'll make it as short as possible
I'm a young lady of 27 and pretty too, I'm a graduate and working, so I will say I can take care of my self financially. I'm still very single and have no serious guy in my life right now. Not that no guy has approached me. I have my ex, let's call him Mr H, Met him in 2009 when I was in school, he was also in school, but not in the same state with me. We dated for 3 years, then broke up becos of distance ish, Note that he was my first love and we had a "no sex" relationship of which we were both comfortable with.
Fast forward to 2013 we came back together while we were both serving but not in the same state though but this time, I tried to make it work cos we were both in love with each other, so we would take turns in visiting each other, that was when I decided to give him the cookie, cos I truly loved him. It was on one of my visits to him that I noticed he doesn't let me touch or go near his phone, so I decided to snoop and I found what I was looking for. He was cheating on me, telling a girl that he loves her and asking her when her period would come. I was so heartbroken and I confronted him, he barely apologised with no remorse, but I forgave him.
And that was how our love dwindled till I called it quits with him. He was eager to go. I moved on. (i'm a strong woman) since then, i've been in and out of relationships but can't bring myself to love the way I loved Mr H. Mr H came back in 2015 when I got my first job, he sincerely begged for forgiveness and said he wants something more serious that could lead to marriage, I forgave him but couldn't bring myself to trust him so I friend-zoned him.
Note that Mr H is now working, but still hustling like me. Ok this year, I met this new guy, Mr B, he was a course mate in school, there was never anything in him to attract me back then, but he confessed that he has always crushed on me but never approached me. Now this guy is very nice and gentle, He works in a good company though entry level, as in he's still starting up. My problem is, I'm not feeling him, and I don't know why.
We've gone out once to a mall, and he did something that made me think twice, He asked me to take anything I want, and being the good girl that I am, I took just a pack of chocolate but I ended up paying for it myself. Yes u heard right!
He suddenly forgot that he didn't use the atm before entering the mall, and POS doesn't accept less than 1k. Even after he used the atm, he didn't refund me. My sis told me to confront him, which I did on chat. He begged, that he forgot and that he would pay it back , I said ok, but he hasnt. I'm confused right now, who should I accept in my life? Mr H is just there as a friend and he seems to be comfortable there as he's not making efforts to make me come around, also, He's not much of a help financially, anytime I ask him for a little assistance, he ends up picking quarrels with me.
While Mr B has always made effort to be close to me and he s talking marriage, apart from the mall incident, i'm yet to find out more about him. He confesses undying love for me. Madam Stella please your red pen is needed. Please note BVs: I have a problem with asking, I've always taken care of myself, I don't know if this is a problem, Mr H loved me cos of it. Please don't cuss me out, I need your advice. Thanks.
Yes I heard right but i dont see anything wrong with you paying for your drink.Every woman should go out prepared to pay for her drink/meal on a date,just in case.
It is only some Nigerian woman who have the mentality that a man must pay for a meal and when he doesnt all hell breaks loose.
I dont any problem and you had no right sleeping on that and confronting him.
WHY SHOULD HE PAY YOU BACK? SAY WETIN HAPPEN?
Please he might have given you excuses for not paying but you should not Judge him based on that....I dont know about the other guy but you seem to be SINGLE for now.
My dear,please stop expecting that guy to pay you back and stop looking for an ATM husband,they dont exist right now.