Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: LABOUR ROOM VS. DELIVERY ROOM

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Friday, 7 October 2016

LABOUR ROOM VS. DELIVERY ROOM

If you see where a woman is giving birth abroad, even as a man you will feel like getting pregnant....





In oyibo land, for only one woman in labour, you will see an Obstetrician, a Gynecologist, a General Surgeon, a Specialist Surgeon, an Anesthestist, a Registered Nurse /Midwife/ plus Social Welfare Officer and So On.
And they pet the woman in labour. The words are usually:

Excellent, sweetheart. Just a little more push.

Yes, yes dear, take a little rest and push again. Can't wait to see the beauty you are about to bring.

And, when the baby is delivered, it is:

Ahh...What a bunch of beauty!

Lovely, lemme hold him/her.

You are lucky to have a beautiful baby.

 "that's why it is called Delivery Room over there".........
................

But in Nigeria my Country it is called "Labour Room" and if you see what women go through here, you will agree wit me that it should also
be called "Confession and Trial Room". Nigerian nurses make pregnancy look like a criminal offence - and the worse thing is that they are everywhere both in private and government hospitals.

For Instance, when a woman in labour is brought to the hospital, they will throw her into the
labour room and lock her up like a criminal awaiting trial and they will go to the reception and be gossiping, or go into the Dr' s office and
be torturing  until the woman starts shouting like goat. And when they go to meet her, it is not to
help, but to insult her:
"You go dey hear things like"

Na me do you?

The man wey do u dey here o?

Na now u get mouth! Wer ya mouth wen dem dey do u? Abeg open ur leg and push joor!

Abi you wan kill una pikin? You better push now or i go leave you. Me sef I wan go enjoy de plantain wey u chop come here.

See ya mouth! For 9 months u nefer shout na now u wan blow my ear, mumu!

Next time wen u carry eye luk bed, begin undress. Na de result be dis!

And, when the baby is delivered, soon as it begins to cry:

Abeg shut up! Dem nefer carry light for de place wey u come?

Enn! Beta practice cry. Plenti dey front. U don miss road. Na Naija u land.

Dem nefer pay una bill finish, u wan begin cause commotion. Shut up!

So, ladies, be prepared!

πŸ˜„πŸ˜„πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

Bv Lilly Simple (LS)



132 comments:

Loveme Jeje said...

Beautiful

amanda favour said...

LMAO 😁
Naija nurses eeh, I hail una

I am the queen and the boss of this blog said...

Kwakwakwakwa...
Hahahahahahahah...
This is funny!...
So true!...but not every naija nurses dey behave like this abeg...
The nurses in our family hospital are an exception!...
Lmao...

Anonymous said...

hahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha this alone have made my day.....lmao

Mab said...

Naija Nurses are very harsh, not all of them tho

Joblesshousewife said...

hmmmm

white Berry said...

Hahahahaha @ the Nigeria labour room, money is good nah I not why w o give birth in nigeria and apart from all this, some nigeria hospitals are trying most private, like the one my friend gave birth to.

Diva said...

This got me in stitches. Hehehehehe
Nigeria go better.

SDK Henchman said...

Noted

Adadioramma said...

Very funny post but some hospitals are exceptional good. Most of the attributes of US hospitals can be found in some of Nigerian hospitals. Let me use Havana Specialist Hospital Akerele Surulere as a case study. Their health workers are specialist and the hospital is standard. Before you enter so called Labour Room, nurses will come to your room and address you nicely and politely. While over there, they will make you feel comfortable while the Doctors are on duty. Baby minders are also there to lift up the burden of carrying and feeding your child while you recover. I like their services anyway but it is your pocket.

RICHBEE said...

Okay.. Lemme wait for my time

Ps.. Stella how did you do it? Advert everywhere am happy for you

Anonymous said...

naija we hail thee.

Greenland hostel (add up 55979E98, Apete Ibadan affordable modern self contain for all) said...

So true! Nigerian Nurses/Midwives are so NOT NICE! That is not to say we do not have nice nurses here in Nigeria but they are few.

I truly wish everything in this country is not upside down.If these same nurses go abroad to practice they suddenly become very nice and they leave their nasty habits in Nigeria.

God help Nigeria, everything is always the other way (upside down)

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

Am soooo giving birth in Atlanta

IJAY said...

Hahaha, BV lilly u are so on point, correct, weldone for this piece

Anonymous said...

My God I saw hell. My baby's head had popped out, no nurse on sight and I was placed on delivery bed o where I cld just fall if I wasn't careful. Kept shouting nurse! Nurse! At last dey walked in sluggishly. No doctor sef. Thank God my life and my baby's was protected by God.

Mother confessor the real deal on sdk said...

Lol. Lilly you for put copied. You that I know very well cannot write this.

Ada Nwanbueze said...

Hmmm I don't know about others oh. but my own experience in a Nigeria hospital was different, it was a private hospital and the Docs and midwives were very nice and friendly. infact, it felt like they were family they even prayed for a quick and easy delivery for me it was an awesome experience.

Mother confessor the real deal on sdk said...

I hate people saying family hospital. Sickness is not for my family so I won't even be associated with those that cure it not to talk of having family hospital.

Audrey said...

One thing I hate about most people is the way they generalise, so madam Lilly have been to all the hospitals in nigeria to know that that is the way they operate.
I kinda understand where u are coming from though, the govt needs to do more about the health care system.

Mother confessor the real deal on sdk said...

Is called adsense abi wetin Google dey call am.

Anonymous said...

Not all hospital jare when you go to a good hospital (private) you are treated nicely. I have given birth twice at lily clinic warri . I must give it to them they are doing a nice job.

Peace Speaks said...

Well I hope this is all for laughs. But for real though if truly any Nigerian nurse acts in such manner ... Believe me after my delivery.. I've got serious words waiting to tell them. Sadly I hear this happens a lot.

Anonymous said...

your friend gave birth to a Nigerian hospital? la wa o...

Anonymous said...

@white berry!! What did u just write up there?? Is ur temperature normal so? Pls check yourself abeg!!!

Quick Weight loss with Green World Slimming Capsules Abuja. 08037495373. said...

Lol...this got me in Stitches, the private hospital i gave birth in, because the teaching hospital i registered with were on strike; the Nurses knew nada. I had to show the Nurse where to place her fingers to take my pulse rate after she almost paralysed my hand with pressing. This post brought back funny memories.

Anonymous said...

Poster this your write up no gel at all. So other members of the health team are faultless, the government that failed to equip public hospitals with adequate gadgets and manpower is faultless too, only nurses/midwives has to take all blames. Well done!
I'm sure you ve had contacts with only auxiliary nurses cos you ve been patronising mushroom private hospitals.
Next time you are writing, make it balance and don't paint a particular group black. If all stakeholders play their part well, then there will be improvement in healthworkers/patient relationship.

Emilia Peter said...

Hahahahahahha nice one.

kadybia said...

Very true. Havana hospital is a nice one. Havana Babies are happy Babies.
When u meet the Good Nigerian Nurses, you will love Nurses.

Miss Ferragamo said...

πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Naija my Naija.
Poster your head correctπŸ‘

zion baby said...

Hahahahaha.. Omg!!

Jenny Ekwe said...

Lmfaooo.... quite hilarious
Nice one BV LS.

Her_Excellency said...

Lol

Olori footwear said...

Havana staff are sent from heaven. Better hospital with better people. If sickness was something good, if you go to Havana you go wan de sick de go.

white Berry said...

So sorry my phone is faulty, giving me hell of a problem

Mrs. Romas said...

Funny story. Those doctors and nurses in Nigeria are not professionals, they always act as if they are demigods. The curses they lays on women in delivery room is bad and they should be called to order.
Even with that, those women will continue to deliver their babies their, even if is their tenth baby delivery.

Congratulations Stella, i see a lot of adverts and i deliberately clicked on everyone of them. Keep soaring higher.

CherryCee said...

Rotflmao. While this is hilarious, some private hospitals are an exception. Pregnant women are handled with so much love and care and you dare not spit trash..except of course you have another job waiting for you after that.

xxxTrinityxxx said...

Lol very funny but not all naija nurses at private hospitals BehAve like this. Private hospitals are classed differently. Some private hospitals are meant to be public hospitals. So depends on the hospital hi go to. I can't imagine giving birth in a hospital I'm paying thousands and the nurses are rude to while I'm giving birth

Mosi Jubelo said...

So true, well, the only labour room I've seen is the one I gave birth in, other ones are the ones I see on TV.
Some nurses are nice
During delivery, the nurses were nice to me, I had never met any of them before. I just followed all instructions to the core.
But shey you see those antenatal natal nurses. God is watching them in 4D. They're just always angry as if they are being forced to do the work. And I heard nurses are paid well o.
It's well.

youngman said...

Going through the post, you discover that this attitude permeates all through the entire society of ours. The care givers show nonchalance and wickedness and the care receivers show insolence and disrespect. The other day I said that some pregnant women abuse and even assault both their husbands and care givers under the guise of pain, pain they had all along being intimated about even before getting pregnant. Some people abused me for saying so because it didn't praise women doing so. Now tell me, can a society be better than the members of that society?

For the avoidnance of doubt, the good society you talk about earlier gave the name labour room and as empathetic species, now gave it delivery room. What is our contribution here. Nothing. Now if I check all the things in the world today that male life and living interesting and worthwhile, none was giving to humankind by our species, the African in Africa.

Bianca BRUNO said...

Lol. This is really funny. I had a good laugh when reading this and my nurses were nice oh. My LRD coming up soon.

Jasmine said...

Havana, St Nicholas and lagoon is good.


And they have pretty nurses and cute doctors

Anonymous said...

Please go back to nursery 1.

Jasmine said...

True but some naija nurses r good jor

Sensa Greene said...

Alot of them are uncouth. But the hospital I put to bed, they are very well behaved. Its owned by an Indian and customer/patient service is very important to them.

LADY PRESTIGE BEADS.08034205152 said...

Sdk wasn't using Adsense.

Christy Odoo said...

Lmao.... It's well wit Nigerians...

I think delivery room is beta

JACINTA MBACHU said...

Hahahaha diz really cracked me up

lovelace said...

Lily simple, nice one. You forgot to add say an one nurse dry attend to 3-4 women at the same time.

brownsugar said...

You are right about them leaving u in the labor room to go gossip
As for being harsh I only experiencd it once and that was when I was doing 'sme-sme' to push. The matron was like if this baby doesn't come out @ the 3rd push I'll beat u. No be person tell me, I pushed immediately and my boy came out. And then she goes congrats sweetheart. My 2 other deliveries after that experience, I was petted well. All these happened in LUTH

NORTH DAKOTA SIOBHAN said...

LMAO!
Very funny..
But I am certain we have good private hospitals here in naija, with good 'delivery rooms' with excellent doctors and nurses too..

starshine said...

Kikikikiki but no be all of the be like that o oo

felish said...

Funny nd interesting

iyke david said...

This is so true!naija 4 show!

Rhoda Rex said...

Dem can beat and shout for Africa

Mao Akuh said...

Lol
We have some good nurses.

La'creamie said...

AFO moooo...una no go kill person that's why am into this MMM thingy so that I will give birth in the abroad....hehehehe.....

Becky Divine said...

Kwakwakwwkwakwakwa
Soo true my sister! But not all of them are like that she.

The one I hate most is leaving you to your fate, so they can go and gossip their ass off!
And then they'll threaten to abandon you in there if you don't push the baby out sharp sharp lol
Women dey suffer I tell you

Naija I hail thee!

Vivian Ezeadum said...

It is a pity

Eephie said...

Sad truth about most Nigerian hospitals, most of them act like they get a medal for being rude!.

Eephie said...

Sad truth about most Nigerian hospitals, most of them act like they get a medal for being rude!.

Scarlett said...

Nah! not every Nigerian hospital is like this. AVON medicals on bode thomas is amazing. They are neat and the staff are polite and well mannered. Even the hospital i birthed my child was excellent. they never insulted anyone neither were they sarcastic.

i'm sure the poster visited kpangolo hospitals.

hilarious post though.

THELMA'S CAKE WORLD said...

Hahahahahahahaha, this is so funny.

LEONA said...

Lobatn

LEONA said...

Lobatan

Iphie dearie said...

We have extremely good nurses here too.

Good customer service delivery.
Perfect reception.
I have had nice times during my deliveries.

Lily Simple,this is hilariousπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

People make pregnancy and delivery seem like a terrifying journey.
You can't look good while pregnant. No smile whatsoever.
Then you hear comments like, your shakara go soon end. Hahhahaha
I realized I even look forward to being preggie sefπŸ˜€
Just one problem, I hate pain!!!!!!πŸ™†πŸΌ

Fab Mum said...

Yeah, Havana is good
Mother and child center in Randle is also very good

Cynthia Iyede said...

This is funny but painful. When will Naija get there? When?

Anonymous said...

Their charges are off d roof. How wont they be nice. After i spend so much. I knew of someone that absconded without paying.

Kelvin Dat Edo Boi said...

Ur friend tohtoh go be olobo town council o! hian! she born hospital kwa!

KELVIN DAT EDO BOI (STELLZ COUSIN)

Habis Cakes Abuja said...

ROFLMAO. Absolutely hilarious

Suoebi(Niger delta finest) said...

So funny yet so true esp those short nurses wey full FMC dem sha wicked sha

La'creamie said...

Whitey....

Florence Dibs said...

Lol favour room
Lee boo where u dey
Do tym no dey again ooooo

Mrs I said...

Hahahaha very funny....

La'creamie said...

Which kind quack hospital be that???

Anonymous said...

Wanted to 'waka pass', but lemme pause and drop a true story..
In d early 2000's @ d upth, some white midwives came on rotation, quite a number (above 30). To cut a long story short..due to the need to the need to avoid undue confrontation, the white midwives were given their own delivery suites and the patients given d choice of opting f either d white/ black midwives. After a while, we noticed the women preferred d black nurses,cos tho they may do all of the above , delivery time was on an average shorter than with the whites. Not making excuses wen dre are obvious malpractice but sometimes we should learn to appreciate it as we have it cos as one patient said then..'abeg I no want d oyibo, no be petting I come for, na born I come'..

Adisa Akomolede said...

I remember a matron snacking my butt when I was about to take injection

Ella ellaginika said...

Quite unfortunate, @ labour room, and there doctors and nurses here reading this, yet they will go and say the same thing to women in labour

Anonymous said...

LOLLLLLLL

Bello Eniola said...

funny but true....lwkmd

Blossom said...

Some privates are trying. Just the government and teaching hospitals that are so inhumane.

Anonymous said...

Stop the generalisation, not ALL Drs n nurses in nigeria are UNprofessional, that's an insult.

AMMY said...

True but some hospitals are very okay. Like Havana , Reddington.

Even my family hospital is the bomb,they pamper me like i'm doing them a favor.

Most general hospitals are guilty,they do not have any customer service traits. There aim is to frustrate their patients.

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

Delivery room ti take overπŸ˜‚πŸ˜

barbie micheal said...

Very uncouth people like that, especially the auxiliary nurses them

Tush baby said...

Lolz

Anonymous said...

E gel ouh! Jus hang ur own der biko. Bitter ppl everywhere. Y nuh quietly av a good laugh n chill? Must she "balance" it to suit u ni? She chose to onky talk abt d behavior & presence of d staff involved. Why so pained? Pls drink honey on me okay? Lol. And I'm nuh Lily. *offsMic*

Anonymous said...

@Lady, but she now is

Anonymous said...

One nurse was to my ears while I was in labour
E enter like banana,come out like coconut

Naya Nuel said...

I had my baby in Atlanta, they ve LDR, which is labour, delivery and recovery unit. I was in d labour room till I dilated to 9cm and then I was moved to the delivery room, after about an hour post delivery, I was moved to the recovery room.

Anon said...

You would have acted as if you didn't know what u were doing and slapped the sluggish fellow. Most of them are just soooo annoying.

Chidinma Gift said...

Preach it my sister....
Na there me go like born baba God helep me

Anonymous said...

I had my baby in UK and na only midwife attend to me ooo for Ealing General hospital....but as baby come,na so dem whisk am away after I don hold am small. My other baby wey I born for Naija, all the people wey you mention above tanda gidigba minus the Anesthestist. I guess it depends on the hospital.

lamirah fashion school Abuja 08032526875 5C4301AA said...

Lwkmd banana and coconut. Some Naija nurses no be here.

Anonymous said...

Welcome nurse. I work in a Federal teaching hospital and my conclusion is that nurses need need to go an re-learn how to address patients. Let me be anonymous on this one.

Starjoy said...

True talk stella, whenever am expecting i always pray against evil nurse not to be on duty on the day of my delivery. That is what most of them are

Anonymous said...

This mother confessor you are unexposed. So na only sickness dey carry people go hospital ? How about child delivery, immunization, etc. do you know what is called preventive medicine.oversabi everywhere.

Anonymous said...

This mother confessor you are unexposed. So na only sickness dey carry people go hospital ? How about child delivery, immunization, etc. do you know what is called preventive medicine.oversabi everywhere.

Anonymous said...

What's AdSense pls?

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

The nurses I met have been nice to me,some even helped in massaging my waist and telling me sorry

Anonymous said...

Am sorry to say, but I think you have a shallow knowledge of the amount of great healthcare service provider in this "Our Nigeria" that can be rated on the same per with the western hospitals. I put this argument to you that, 'AVE MARIA HOSPITAL' can do even better job than the so called foreign hospitals. I have had an experience with the hospital and on the same day of my surgery(Fibroid Operation) they had a Twin delivery and I knew the same treatment that was afforded to me would be given to the woman in the Labour room right above me.I had a first class treatment from the surgeon , doctors and the nurses. This video was posted online with my full permission, check @celebdr on instagram and see my surgery.SO @Stella I don't think you should use your experiences with some hospitals to judge other execellent health care providers. P.S nothing personal.

Anonymous said...

Am sorry to say, but I think you have a shallow knowledge of the amount of great healthcare service provider in this "Our Nigeria" that can be rated on the same per with the western hospitals. I put this argument to you that, 'AVE MARIA HOSPITAL' can do even better job than the so called foreign hospitals. I have had an experience with the hospital and on the same day of my surgery(Fibroid Operation) they had a Twin delivery and I knew the same treatment that was afforded to me would be given to the woman in the Labour room right above me.I had a first class treatment from the surgeon , doctors and the nurses. This video was posted online with my full permission, check @celebdr on instagram and see my surgery.SO @Stella I don't think you should use your experiences with some hospitals to judge other execellent health care providers. P.S nothing personal.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#It's during the worst storms of your life that you will get to see the true colors of the people who say they care about you*

TM David-West said...

OMG! This really got me. Now, if there's a bunch I'd sorely like to avoid the rest of my life, it's Naija nurses. Dang! They are rude and unsympathetic!

Anonymous said...

This is so true, I witnessed my my
Give birth to our last child in Nigeria. The bad mouth and negligence was out of this world. Years later I went abroad got married and became pregnant. From the Doctors appointment to the delivery was awesome. When baby did not show on my Edd and 40weeks, I went to hospital for induction, they gave my epidural and I was just sleeping all through. My water broke the next day and after some hours when they saw that baby was in distress, I was wheeled to the theatre. Let me share a little drama that happened. When the doctor mentioned CS and said the nurses should prepare me. Hubby was told he will come with me, na so guy man form pressed go hide for bathroom oooo. We waited for 30mins, a nurse went to look for him and he came out panthing. I just dey laugh. When we got the the theatre I was suppose to be given another anastesia as the first one has worn out. An emergency came up and they had to attend to the woman so the doctors left and I was with 2 nurse, that 45mins wait was enternity but the nurses God bless them for doing their job amazingly, the kind sorry and rubing they gave me, was amazing. When the doctors came back, I was given the maximum doze of anaesthetic because I was still feeling the touch, they had to put me to sleep. I don't even know how long it lasted and how long I slept for. When I finally woke up, in a very faint voice, the first thing I ask for was my baby. He was brought to me and I just smiled a little and went back to sleep. I don tire to type

Pure Nigerian said...

My goodness! Make una no dey push all the bad things to Naija na...lol

Adetoun said...

Funny but true

Anonymous said...

I gave birth to kids at Federal Medical Center Abeokuta, while in the labour room a doctor was there with two house officers monitoring my contractions while the nurse was a standby.

Immediately a move to the delivery room a paediatric join with 2 more nurses so cut naija some slack

Anonymous said...

Please where can one buy maternity gowns in PH?

Anonymous said...

Hmm

cakes by Bella's, Abuja. 58DA8ADF, 07080305132, @cakes_by_bellas said...

Just checked it out.... chai

Anonymous said...

Gold Cross Hospital Ikoyi is correct. Didnt know the difference as with them and an American hospital. They try gaaan

Anonymous said...

Thk u mother, lilly d illiterate.

mrs cbn said...

Hahaha very funny. But that's not so for everyone. Some hospitals provide excellent care . Personally. I feel it is the mentality of the average Nigerian thinking the doctor nurse. Is king sigh πŸ˜”. They do their job but no amount of medical book can prepare you for labour pains so if I have a nurse screaming at me . The slap I will give her !!! Hahaha

Anonymous said...

That is what u get when u visit quacks. Quackery I say is d very cause of the above post.

Brown Sucre said...

Poster,you just got the whole scenario right.
Africa,still a long way to go!

Adanne said...

Kadybia, I second your last sentence

Adanne said...

We know is copied, whether she put am or not

stephan said...

Nurses are caring.. the literate ones are nice tho.

stephan said...

Anonymous 14:55 so you mean the nurses should deliver the babies? Nah its the duty of the midwife. Now secondly what happened to the obstetrician and gyneacologist? . Shut up already jareee

stephan said...

Madam shut up already. I have birth in a tertiary gibt hospital and I had the best care ever. Complete team and no 'twasnt a ceaser birth.

Amacastel said...

That's why I swore never to practice in any Nigerian hospital cos health workers here are suffering imagine 2nurses incharge of the whole hospital both outpatient, inpatients, assisting in surgeries, dispensing of drugs,collection of specimens,yet 2 shift & she will earn below 100k monthly that's for some private hospital, in govt institution no equipment not even gloves , 2 nurses in a ward with 25-32 patients, if they are donkey they wlll be tried, that's why wen we that same nurse travel abroad she will be the best that alone should tell you all that they are good @ their job but the working environment is the cause of any misconception u have about thwm.Nursing is & will always be a noble profession & am so proud to be 1,( though am doing something else now cos Nigeria working conditions for nurses is not favourable & it brings bad name than good for them) make we talk abt hospital employing quaks & label them nurses well that 1 is story for another day.

Lilly simple said...

@ Mother Confessor
I am not claiming the originator of it
So look @ d joke part n laugh recession off your belly

@ anno thanks 4 d insult next time please comment with your ID

GOONs Mi said...

Lily hospital in warri is first class........
From doctors to nurses, to lab attendants to cleaner, so polite and always smiling.
Their service is top notch!

Neat place, corect air conditioners, nd dstv, their hospital beds are the Types you see in american movies; lolz. Abi na their lift, or 24hours light and water supply.

Go hospital say you de sick, you go well by force.

I would like to work in their labouratory someday. Its a serene environment.

In a sugery room, you have all the specialists Present.

God used the doctors there to save my brother's wife, they believe in the power of Prayer!!!

Their ivf is always succesful, and they do promos on ivf alot.

Hospital de 9ja abeg! Warri to be precised.

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Very very terrible English! !! Ewwwww

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Reddington is the best to me. My sis kids go there for all their immunizations and stuff. Very very good. But e cut throat oh!
After them, i like lagoon. There's this one on the street opposite mega plaza. Can't remember. It's expensive too but good.
But I will tell them about havana. I'm sure it wont be as expensiveas that Reddington.
Although many people still swear by govt hospitals sha.....

Chikito The Professional Runs Girl said...

Me I sha can't give birth in naija. That's why I'm hustling. So if my husband says any rubbish about bills being too high, I will tell him to bring what he has let me bring mine. Na my life and my body biko.

Miracle Brown said...

It's called goggle adsense.. She can now make money like the other blogger

Priceless Jewel said...

This gat me!

Anonymous said...

Are you sure you know the reddington? Cos that is the only hospital lying adjacent to mega plaza.

Anonymous said...

You are referring to Paelon Memorial Clinic on Musa YarAdua Street V.I. I had my two children there.

Dem dey try no be small

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