Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists

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Saturday, 15 October 2016

Saturday In House Gists

Any Jokes? *Side eyes*



The winner will get a free Pot of Peppered stew from OBE SWE SWE if the winner lives within the areas which they deliver to....FULL POT OF ASSORTED PEPPERED STEW.

DRoyalty please compile the list for us?Thank you and note that even if there is no winner,you cannot gift yourself the stew..LMAO.


77 comments:

Adadioramma said...

Okwu Droyalty kwa. Lets go there.

Ammy Bee said...

Won't mind winning, ata sweswe on my mind,but no jist. When my heart burn stops,I will place an order.

Ammy Bee said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
007 said...

Duhhh

Dike F(xyz) said...

Better days ahead!

Chike Anumba said...

I tried chatting A girl I added on S&M, here is our conversation :
Me: hello beauty
She: (no reply)
Me:My name is Chike
She: (no reply)
Me: please can you atleast say hi or something?
She: (no reply)
Me:5423 2365 1786 1235
She:Wow
Me: (no reply)
She: Thanks sweetie, you are a darling
Me: (no reply)
She: which network?
Me: cartoon network.
Hhahahahahahahhahahaha.
*edited by Me*
*copied from Facebook *

Chike Anumba said...

I tried chatting A girl I added on S&M, here is our conversation :
Me: hello beauty
She: (no reply)
Me:My name is Chike
She: (no reply)
Me: please can you atleast say hi or something?
She: (no reply)
Me:5423 2365 1786 1235
She:Wow
Me: (no reply)
She: Thanks sweetie, you are a darling
Me: (no reply)
She: which network?
Me: cartoon network.
Hhahahahahahahhahahaha.
*edited by Me*
*copied from Facebook *

MummyP said...

Dad: I learnt your WAEC result is out
Son: Yes Dad, but you remember Chidi wey dey carry first
for our whole school ba? He failed...
Dad: Dats terrible, wat happened ?
Son: I don’t even know. Even Tosin wey dey come teach
me
4 house, he failed too...
Dad: Wats with d poor performance?
Son: Daddy, I dunno. Na so e be o...
Dad: So how was YOUR result?
Son: Habba daddy, you no hear wetin I dey talk since? If
Chidi and Tosin fail, wetin you expect, I be winch?

MummyP said...

Dad: I learnt your WAEC result is out
Son: Yes Dad, but you remember Chidi wey dey carry first
for our whole school ba? He failed...
Dad: Dats terrible, wat happened ?
Son: I don’t even know. Even Tosin wey dey come teach
me
4 house, he failed too...
Dad: Wats with d poor performance?
Son: Daddy, I dunno. Na so e be o...
Dad: So how was YOUR result?
Son: Habba daddy, you no hear wetin I dey talk since? If
Chidi and Tosin fail, wetin you expect, I be winch?

MummyP said...

Dear sons of Iscariot,
You are still single if she keeps saying 'SAME HERE'
each time you tell her you love her.

MummyP said...

Dear sons of Iscariot,
You are still single if she keeps saying 'SAME HERE'
each time you tell her you love her.

MummyP said...

Dear Ladies,
Do not collect money for your wedding gown from your
ex.....

MummyP said...

Dear Ladies,
Do not collect money for your wedding gown from your
ex.....

MummyP said...

Hello from the OTHER ROOM...

peace maker said...

LOL

Lara Peperenpe said...

My first time opening this post in 6 months.
No more gists?
Maybe, I can send in something next week.

MummyP said...

Hi Lara

MummyP said...

Lexus 300 and borehole water selling,
Giving proof of retirement from Akwa Ibom state civil
service since 1960.

MummyP said...

Lexus 300 and borehole water selling,
Giving proof of retirement from Akwa Ibom state civil
service since 1960.

MummyP said...

A Nigerian with just 200k in his bank account will think
he's Bill Gate.
Useless tadpoles!

MummyP said...

A Nigerian with just 200k in his bank account will think
he's Bill Gate.
Useless tadpoles!

MummyP said...

Dear men,
If your future wife insists on being equal with you, then let
her pay your GROOM PRICE. If she can't, please allow her
remain in her father's house.

MummyP said...

Dear men,
If your future wife insists on being equal with you, then let
her pay your GROOM PRICE. If she can't, please allow her
remain in her father's house.

IamJustMe XOXO said...

I'll pass. Let me adjust my position wella..

Owambe peeps how una dey

Becky Divine said...

Hahaha good one

MummyP said...


The LACK OF MONEY is root of ALL EVIL!

MummyP said...

Dear Ladies,
Please let's know who's pregnant and who's not.
Enough of these pot-bellies!

MummyP said...

Dear Ladies,
Please let's know who's pregnant and who's not.
Enough of these pot-bellies!

Eneanya emeka said...

Real life story but a JOKE cuz i woke up laughing...My neighbor married this janded wife they both love each other so much but they always fight (Power of drugs) 3wks ago came out and saw blood outside in the car pack.. I knew it was them because the whole apartment gets to know when the fight (It's like dogs backing) more than 2yrs of marriage no Child but have had 2 dogs so to be i felt they needed a break to think about what they want for themselves.. last9yt they went drinking.. As a good Wife her hubby was high (Cloud9) so she drove h home, left him in the house alone with thier dog and went Clubbing alone with his car πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ finally around 4am she returned and he was downstair waiting for her.. All of a sudden he rushed to his Car and broke the windscreen (I knew that was the point) like seriously who is gonna fix ur Windscreen?? Why break it in this recession?? I couldnt stop laughing cuz every friday they act drama... but i love them 2geda

lastborn said...

I remember one time I boarded a bus, was sitting at d bback,only for d guy sitting beside me started laughing uncontrollable by himself..make una help me fill in d rest,let me go and check d buy a car post,even if it is "ipaja car""so ki n so" bole ka ja""ye ori ki n be ito" afi bi su olore" translate"beetle car""come down make I come down""come down make we fight""shift ur head make I spit""ungrateful person" type of car

Beloved said...

I RESPECT SOME IGBO NAMES.

1. Ugwuoke = mountain of rat.
2. Nnenna= mama papa
3.Anene= make we day look
4. Echidime= tomorrow is pregnant
5. Ikemuefuna= my nyash no go lose
6. Ogu nna= father's fight
7. Azubuike = back is power
8. Ezeonu = king of mouth
9. Uzo amaka= road is fine
10. Nna nna = papa's papa
11. Onye neke = who day share
12. Obum neke = na me day share
13. Akidi = green beans
14. Nkeiruka = the front is bigger
15. Emenike = don't do with power
16. Okenwa - rat child
17. Amuneke - penis is sharing
18. Nlewe dim - looking at my husband.πŸ˜ΉπŸ˜ΉπŸ˜‚πŸ˜Ή

You can add urs or translate your own Name in English
let's go No dulling moment...U know AM Testing the microphone.

Suoebi(Niger delta finest) said...

Dis joke Stella post am for Saturday laughs some couple of weeks back

Suoebi(Niger delta finest) said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Tee Diva Organic Skincare 58C660AC said...

My 1st time commenting here. Let me try.

Guy: Hello
Girl: Hi
Guy: I'm Andrew
Girl: And?
Guy: ....rew





Chop knuckle Stella πŸ‘Š

Beloved said...

GRAND-MAMA TRAVEL TO LAGOS!!!

Hahaha .......Mama sef

An old woman boarded a
Bus to Lagos from Calabar and told the driver: "Driver, please, when we reach Benin tell me o."
The driver nodded and then she shouted again: "My children, una hear wetin I tell am?"
Everybody responded: "Yes, Mama."
On the long journey to Lagos, everybody slept off and forgot about Mama's request.
After several hours of driving and then close to Lagos, with Benin about four hours behind, the old woman asked: "Driver, you never reach Benin since?" "Ooooh!" the driver exclaimed, "Mama, Benin is like four hours behind us."
"Ah!", the woman shouted and started crying, saying: "Take me back to Benin, abeg, I no wan wahala o." Considering the age of the woman, the passengers agreed that the driver should turn back to Benin.
On getting to Benin, the driver came down, opened the door and told the woman she was in Benin.
The woman simply opened her hand bag, brought out two tablets of Panadol and swallowed them with water. She then smiled and said:
"Thank you, my son. Na my daughter say when I reach Benin, make I drink two tablets of Panadol😳😳😳
"I don take am now, oya make we dey go Lagos..."

copied

just laugh with me
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Phoenix said...

Stella, as your friend that I is let me collect the stew jor....

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

LMAO

MummyP said...

Bounce off!

Dewdrop said...

This made me laugh

Anonymous said...

Beloved, your translation of those Igbo names is rubbish. Please ask someone else instead of the literal translation of names that mean something else.

marriedchick said...

no jokes in my mind. too busy thinking of Nigeria leaders a d their mindset..

Anonymous said...

Copied

Aya Okanlomo said...

This happened in my service yr 2000 in Kano. Went by air as butter pickin but decided to join other corp members in night bus after orientation. I spent all I had buying you potato, onion, to bring back to Lagos leaving omly tfare to my house. Unfortunately I missed the bus corp members wenon Friday so had to go with another on Saturday got spoilt at Mokwa so was stranded cos no gsm n atm. Only option was to sell the onions. Guess what response I got when I approached someone. He said I was lucky that it was their market day that I should just portion it in bits by the road. Na so corp member for turn onion seller in mokwa niger state but God did His miracle, I saw one of my mum's truck driver and he gave me money

Victoria Omosuyi said...

You are a case. Lol

Becky Divine said...

Lmao

Anonymous said...

I vote you ooo na u win biko.

Weed Chic said...

Endtime couple

*lights weed*

Weed Chic said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

nnuku Sexy pant-like boxers. 08170506432 Order now said...

A married woman just finished birthing her child, weeks later husband needed sex and make advances at the woman, she said she couldn't but he can go out to bed any woman of his choice.. He was happy and he left. 30 mins later he returned,
Wife : you no go again.
Husband: I don come back na I no go far
Wife: that was quick where was it
Husband: na mama Emeka our next door neighbor
Wife: OK I hope she no collect money from you?
Husband : she did, she collect 3,500
Wife: ehn 😠 abi she dey craze, when she born her own na me dey help her husband for free, why she go collect money from you.. Hahahhahahaaa lol. Edited by me.

Anonymous said...

Lmao

Zainab Yusuf said...

Yesterday was my friend's birthday, let's call her chi, a little intro about my friend will do. We met during Nysc, she was born and bred in d east, chi is actually on d big side, with a very pretty face but packaging is zero. she speaks igbo 95% of the time She's very smart, hardworking and self employed.she's a goal oriented person. My mom likes her,So recently she moved in with us since she's trying to get accommodation. She's been making plans for her 26th birthday, and I suggested a photo shoot, and she was like she had it in mind, I asked d location, it was somewhere I wasn't sure of. So I recommended studio 24, we did a professional makeover. 5pm we left home, got to the studio, she walked to the receptionist and said she wanted a photo shoot, they asked her how many times is she changing outfit she said once. Then d process began, she took almost 50 shots. After everything they sent the pics to the system so she can select d ones she wanted,I reminded her to ask for the price,the dude said 1500 for soft copy, my friend was so happy and kept gushing about how she'll post d pics on Facebook and i.g, d pics were awesome, and I asked how many she wanted, she just said all but for the ones her bra line or stretch marks was showing. Then they gave chi a slip to write d picture numbers, so I just told her to still confirm d price, I went back to where I was seated. I just heard her shouting my name, I jumped up, rushed to her corner, I asked Babe wetin happen? She replied with tears in her waterline, "this people are wicked!" how can dey say 1500 per picture, I just started laughing, then I apologised, I just said Babe pick d ones you like, and pay so they can edit, its already 7:30pm. Na so Babe change am for everybody, "what kind of picture is 1500 per copy? In awka pictures don't cost more than 200naira" "i can't pay o ".she was shouting,and d place was filled up with people. I tried my best to calm her she no gree. Chi switched to ranting in igbo language.she faced the photographer who is also igbo, she even beg the guy in her language , but he insisted it's management's rule. Whenever I her phone rings, she'll pick up and start telling the person how studio 24 is charging 1500 per soft copy. I just shifted I no fit use body pack shame. After ranting she walked out on them not before she told them to delete her pictures! I just started laughing immediately we stepped out, she kept lamenting about how good she posed for the pics, that she even squat in one of the pic, I had such a good laugh.

Zainab Yusuf said...

Yesterday was my friend's birthday, let's call her chi, a little intro about my friend will do. We met during Nysc, she was born and bred in d east, chi is actually on d big side, with a very pretty face but packaging is zero. she speaks igbo 95% of the time She's very smart, hardworking and self employed.she's a goal oriented person. My mom likes her,So recently she moved in with us since she's trying to get accommodation. She's been making plans for her 26th birthday, and I suggested a photo shoot, and she was like she had it in mind, I asked d location, it was somewhere I wasn't sure of. So I recommended studio 24, we did a professional makeover. 5pm we left home, got to the studio, she walked to the receptionist and said she wanted a photo shoot, they asked her how many times is she changing outfit she said once. Then d process began, she took almost 50 shots. After everything they sent the pics to the system so she can select d ones she wanted,I reminded her to ask for the price,the dude said 1500 for soft copy, my friend was so happy and kept gushing about how she'll post d pics on Facebook and i.g, d pics were awesome, and I asked how many she wanted, she just said all but for the ones her bra line or stretch marks was showing. Then they gave chi a slip to write d picture numbers, so I just told her to still confirm d price, I went back to where I was seated. I just heard her shouting my name, I jumped up, rushed to her corner, I asked Babe wetin happen? She replied with tears in her waterline, "this people are wicked!" how can dey say 1500 per picture, I just started laughing, then I apologised, I just said Babe pick d ones you like, and pay so they can edit, its already 7:30pm. Na so Babe change am for everybody, "what kind of picture is 1500 per copy? In awka pictures don't cost more than 200naira" "i can't pay o ".she was shouting,and d place was filled up with people. I tried my best to calm her she no gree. Chi switched to ranting in igbo language.she faced the photographer who is also igbo, she even beg the guy in her language , but he insisted it's management's rule. Whenever I her phone rings, she'll pick up and start telling the person how studio 24 is charging 1500 per soft copy. I just shifted I no fit use body pack shame. After ranting she walked out on them not before she told them to delete her pictures! I just started laughing immediately we stepped out, she kept lamenting about how good she posed for the pics, that she even squat in one of the pic, I had such a good laugh.

Malumi Dont Beat Mi said...

Nowadays if guys are not careful they can date a girl twice without knowing....

They did be like:
Guy: hey babe you look familiar

Babe: yea.. we dated back then in 2014 but I was dark skinned then..

Anonymous said...

Make quick money today.. http://paytoday.online/index.php?ref=27120

Anonymous said...

Lmaoooo, butter pickin turn market woman

uche Nnaji said...

Are you sure itz nt d couple i know?? LMAO its funny but why do people hurt themselves...Free the marriage nd marry a calm guy

Awele said...

Stale

Anonymous said...

Hhahahahahahahhahahaha

Chike Anumba said...

I gave credit up there πŸ‘† @anon 17:00

D'Royalty (STELLA'S BLOG BFF) said...

Ikwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa

Stella, na money I need now ooo, no be bowl of stew, make I no go eat another thing because of awoof. You know say anything wey dey enter inside belle na him worst pass.

MummyP, wetin happen? Dog bite you?

Stella you did not state the minimum number of votes or lols that wins abi na the gist with the highest number of lols?

Vera Nnuku my friend, so wapa?

Sassy 'Meruche' Fire said...

What's wrong with you? Maka pot of stew bikonu? Hian!

Everly Rockin' said...

I vote you! U are the winner!

Sassy 'Meruche' Fire said...

Did this really make sense to you?

Sassy 'Meruche' Fire said...

Did this really make sense to you?

Doctor'swife said...

Hahahah @aya okanlomo.. thats really funny
. I just imagined myself trying to sell onions.. πŸ™†πŸ™†πŸ™†πŸ™†

MummyP said...

D'Royalty yes! a calabar dog..Just having fun jare

Gbemi Adeoye said...

Lol..funny

Doctor'swife said...

Hahahahahaha asin that papa is slow

Gbemi Adeoye said...

Hahahahha

Cynthia Eze said...

I vote for u. Too funny

Joefirst Joshua said...

I met a girl on whatshap! Our convo goes:
Me: hello, beauty
Girl: hi
Me: how're you doing, sure you had a splendid day
Girl: fnks
Me: so tell about ur day, anything interesting
Girl: fyn
Me: this one you are replying short words, am I boring
Girl: no
Me: I met your mate in secondary school, she said, you had F9 in English
Girl: isa li, me that has passed away all my paper, I even gotten A1 in English.
Me: I saw!!! (Runs to Jupiter)
#JOeFIRSt

D'Royalty (STELLA'S BLOG BFF) said...

MummP you are truoble, Calabar dog? Nda ame enyong..

D'Royalty (STELLA'S BLOG BFF) said...

Stella pls disregard my comment up there about the soup. I was only joking.
I will gladly claim the bowl of soup if there is no winner oo. Even if it is Buhari stew, I will collect it. If I don't collect it what will be my reward as the result collator that 'I' is? If there is a winner, we both will split the stew into two equal parts. Lobatan!

Ikwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa

D'Royalty (STELLA'S BLOG BFF) said...

MummyP you are in trouble, Calabar dog? Da ame yong.. You don go.

Beloved said...

Haba na
It was only a joke na

Inugo

Beloved said...

Mummy p how do you know it was Calabar dog that bit you ?

Beloved said...

No worries


There is plenty love in sharing

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