Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: A Cry For Help

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Saturday, November 12, 2016

A Cry For Help

This so sad...why do people do things like this?





Dear SDK and BVs,

I don't know exactly where this call for help fits in but I know I urgently need help as my situation is beginning to get to a choking state.

I've been married for almost 8 years now amd we have two lovely children, we didn't always used to have it all rosy and like every married couple we had our challenges.

We had accommodation problem at a point and my husband pleaded with me to go stay with my aged parents and give him time to sort himself and our accommodation problems out, I reasoned with him and did like he suggested with the promise that we would be back together in a period of three month; little did I know that was going to be the beginning of the end of our married life.

My husband suddenly changed, he will only call to check up on me and the kids whenever he deemed fit, he wasn't providing any sort of support either; days turned into weeks and weeks into months and he wouldn't call and whenever I called he either picks with an unpleasant voice or decides not to pick at all.

I was praying and hoping things would get better, I thought his reaction was as a result of his inability to secure another accommodation; I also complained to some of his family members that I was very close to and they implored me to continue praying for my husband.

I was all alone with the kids with the support of my family and I didn't relent in my prayers and then one day, one of our family friend called to say he won't sit down and watch me being cheated on; he gave me the news that my husband had secretly gotten married to another woman.

It took my going to Facebook to check the supposed wife's timeline to confirm things for myself and behold the pictures of my husband during their court and traditional wedding was allover.He had another court and traditional wedding with a second woman without ending the one he had with me.

I was broken, I called him to tell him about my discovery; he vehemently denied and then I told him about all I found out on facebook, I told him that since he has decided to get married to another woman without ending our marriage and going through the proper channel he should get ready to start taking full responsibility for the kids and that he should not force me to take him to court. He answered that I'm free to take him to court if that's what I want, i guess he knows for a fact that I can't do that.

It got to a point that I had to talk to one of my brother's friends who is a lawyer, he explained that he will work towards getting a meeting with him and make him sign an undertaking to what and how he will be providing for our children's needs on a monthly basis but that he may be sued and charged for bigamy if he proved stubborn; on hearing this, I asked for time to think about it.

After days of thinking, I called the lawyer back to tell him to stop the whole process that I don't want to send my children's father to jail. The lawyer was angry and vowed not to get involved again because according to him I was allowing my husband take me for granted.

I took up the full responsibility of a mother and father providing for our children's education, feeding and upkeep with support from my family; their father only send money once or twice in a month whenever he remembers he has children somewhere.My family vowed to not get involved because left to them I had no reason marrying his kind of person in the first place,

It got to a stage that I had to report the matter to the ministry of women affairs and a letter was sent to the last known address I provided but the postman returned with the letter saying his sister that he was staying with had relocated. He was called on phone to come down to the ministry and a date was fixed but he never showed up.

I am writing in because I need help; I want to know if there's anyone out there that has been in my situation, I want to know how they handled theirs, I also need lawyers to advice me on what to do from a legal point of view.

It's been four years since we became separated, I want to finally end my marriage with him and sue for bigamy but I can't employ the services of a lawyer now because I am job hunting at the moment. Please I need help, somebody should please come to my rescue; my husband is taking me for a ride, he has abandoned everything that concerns our children's upkeep all on me, he doesn't even call to check up on the children .

Please help me out,Please advice me, if you feel the need to reach out personally; kindly mail me on womanthatneedshelp@gmail.com. Thank you and God bless.


*Bigamy is a crime in Nigeria right?Please help her SDK Lawyers,she does not have money to pursue this,please do this as a Christmas giveaway for her.
Thank you.

147 comments:

  1. The one that they will helo and thr man will brainwash her and she will say stop all the proces i dnt want the father of my kids in jail.
    Na so

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmmmmmmm, why do I feel so too

      Delete
    2. You took it outta my mouth.
      Na wah ohhh.

      Delete
    3. @poster

      I don't pity ur type!
      U had ur chance to prove ur worth as a woman but u stubbornly refused ! Mtchw. I dislike women like u! Tueh!

      I kno u need a second chance but mehnn I gotta say dis , any lawyer trying to help her pls set ur mind aside , so that if she changes her mind again u wouldn't curse her! Smh!

      Imagine , after 4solid yes! Its like u want to destroy d other woman's home! Mtchw!

      Delete
    4. Abeg shift make I join u for the matter.

      Madam,am a man and I will never support that fool u call ur husband..imagine,u still call him "the man" when typing this..I swear,u need a slap to reset ur brain.

      Beside this madam,u need forget about him,if u gt help as for charging him for bigamy then do and forget abt DAT silly fact that he is the father of ur kidz.

      No one does this with my sister,either younger or elder and goes free..trust me,I go smash dat two bags of pure water and one straw between his legs


      Mc pinky
      #amvexingjooor#

      Delete
    5. @poster

      I don't pity ur type!
      U had ur chance to prove ur worth as a woman but u stubbornly refused ! Mtchw. I dislike women like u! Tueh!

      I kno u need a second chance but mehnn I gotta say dis , any lawyer trying to help her pls set ur mind aside , so that if she changes her mind again u wouldn't curse her! Smh!

      Imagine , after 4solid yes! Its like u want to destroy d other woman's home! Mtchw!

      #feminist to d core but ain't supporting bitches lyk ya!

      Delete
    6. @poster

      I don't pity ur type!
      U had ur chance to prove ur worth as a woman but u stubbornly refused ! Mtchw. I dislike women like u! Tueh!

      I kno u need a second chance but mehnn I gotta say dis , any lawyer trying to help her pls set ur mind aside , so that if she changes her mind again u wouldn't curse her! Smh!

      Imagine , after 4solid yes! Its like u want to destroy d other woman's home! Mtchw!

      #feminist to d core but ain't supporting bitches lyk ya!

      Delete
    7. Exactly. This woman will not go through with the court case. Imagine the stupid excuse she gave the first time

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    8. Na so, man leave you go remarry and you still no want make him go jail... she don really ready?

      Delete
    9. A big tueh to her.

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    10. Madam i'll advice you to forget about the whole fighting him thing , concentrate on getting a job, taking care of yourself and children.. just imagine his dead. He's not worth it. Though it's gonna be painful but u'll survive.. but four years is long enough for you to have moved on with your life. Me I don't like stress, any thing that causes me pain I cut off and move on.

      Delete
    11. You just spoke my mind..after breaking your head for nothing,she will tell you to stop in the middle of the whole thing...

      Delete
    12. LISTEN TO ME AND LISTEN GOOD. ....THAT MARRIAGE IS NULL AND VOID. THEY ONLY WENT THERE TO EAT RICE AND DRINK COKE WATEVER IT IS THEY SIGNED THERE DOESN'T HOLD WATER. YOU ARE HIS ONE AND ONLY LEGITMATE WIFE AND YOUR KIDS ARE HIS ONLY LEGIT CHILDREN ACCORDING TO THE LAW OF THE LAND. IF HIS SIDE CHICK LIKES SHE SHOULD BORN 50 KIDS BUT UNDER THE LAW THEY ARE ILLEGITMATE. BIGAMY IS A VERY VERY VERY VERY SERIOUS CRIME IN NIGERIA AND YOU HAVE BEEN AN IDIOT FOR KEEPING QUIET FOR TOO LONG. GONE ARE THE DAYS WHEN WOMEN HAD NO VOICE NOT IN THIS ERA. INFACT THE GOVT WILL NOT JOKE WITH YOUR CASE ESPECIALLY AS KIDS ARE INVOLVED. IF YOU ARE IN ABUJA MONDAY MORNING MOVE STRAIT TO HUMAN RIGHTS COMMISSION OR COMMISSIONS THAT HANDLE CHILDREN AFFAIRS. I KNOW OF HUMAN RIGHTS. THEY WILL GIVE U A GOOD LAWYER. YOUR HUSBAND IS GOING TO CRAWL ON HIS BONY STUPID LEGS AND BEG AND IF THAT OTHER LADY WAS AWARE UR HUSBAND WAS VERY MUCH MARRIED BFR SHE JUMPED IN THEN SHE'S IN TROUBLE. WAS YOUR MARRIAGE TO UR IDIOTIC HORSEBAND STATUTORY? HAHAAA THEN HE WILL SMELL HIS PRICK.AND HOPE YOU HAVENT BEEN PAYING SKOOLFEES FOR YOUR KIDS WHILE THEY STILL BEAR HIS NAME. IF U HAVE REFUSED TO SUE HIM THEN QUIETLY CHANG YOUR KIDS NAME TO YOUR FATHER'S NAME. THESE DAYS WOMEN DONT KEEP QUIET AND SUFFER. GIVE HIM AND THAT HIS SIDE CHICK ONE YEAR AND YOU WILL HEAR HE HAS DUMPED HER. DONT RAISE YOUR CHILDREN FOR HIM. IF U INSIST ON NOT SENDING HIM TO JAIL THEN CHANGE YOUR NAME AND YOUR KIDS NAME AND DISSAPPEAR SO HE DOESN'T KNOW YOUR WEAR ABOUT. WALAHI TALAHI IF YOU DONT DO EITHER OF THESE THINGS I HAVE ADVISED YOU TO DO ,NA BETTER THUNDER GO WIPE YOU.

      Delete
    13. Madam,no need for all this court process.
      Just divorce him n move on with your life.....is not going to be easy but later in life u will be happy u did.
      Take care of your children n leave everything to God.
      He will fight for u.
      This is y I advise ladies to SNOOP.
      And as for the new wife, Is only God that will judge her.

      Delete
    14. See me see wahala, which court u need again, what lawyer, I don't understand how you want to end marriage that was dead 4yrs ago and has even decayed, I'm sure youre gingered now maybe because his new wife has newborn and living rosy.ur mumu get PHD.... My advice for you, take away your children , work hard and don't let him ever hear from the kids.... I'm sure after 10yrs he will be the one searching. All you need is a job maybe financial assistance to get apartment and refresh yourself.... going to court is waste of time....you are shouting bigamy as if it's not all this our prosecutor and judges that take 50k to send innocent man to death by hanging

      Delete
    15. You just woke up madam. They wanted to help you, you refused.

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    16. Exactly.. Nonsense.. N I just wasted some seconds of my life reading this nonsense...

      Delete
    17. Lmao, after four years, you had your chance of making him suffer too,but you blew it 'as the lover girl that you is na' the man doesn't even care if you still exist. Move on sisto, change their surname and enjoy your life with your kids.

      Delete
    18. I don't even feel sorry for stupid women like you, poor kids will be insulting their father alone not knowing that their mother is foolish

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    19. madam, chai see how your stupidity is smelling. from your narrative you will not go ahead with the process. Please just say what financial need you want because you never ready to make the man smell pepper. you still call him husband after dumping your weak as for 4 years. Pele. Man up at leat for the sake of your kids. They do not deserve what is happening to them. man up!!! BTW, I am man so believe me when I say you never ready. he played you because he knows he will get away with it and you won't do shut and you price him right.

      Delete
  2. Im sorry if i sound harsh but i detest weak women.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Naaawaaoo!
      Very weak someborri!
      When you had opportunity to serve it to him hot, you were doing sime-sime, no wonder he called your bluff.
      I now hope that you won't back out again, onye oma Cy!

      Delete
    2. Your write up is annoying, either let him go to jail or forgive him and raise your kids, there's no sitting on the fence. If I were in your shoes he will be cooling off in jail. I can love you but I can be wicked, in this life I treat people how they treat me.

      Delete
    3. You are my kind of person. I treat people just the way they treat me..

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    4. You are my kind of person. I treat people just the way they treat me..@push up.

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    5. Same nonsense my younger sis was doing,she was even calling his new wife to beg her(d New wife) to allow her husband to speak to her(my sis) on the phone,he left her in pregnancy and moved in with someone else. A lawyer adviced same thing,she said no,she still loved the man.then everyone left her,now the man is yet to return after 3yrs and nobody is saying anything about it.when they were ready to help,u didn't want it.babe u are weak.I dislike weak women,men take advantage of the likes of u.forget lawyer,find work raise ur kids,it's ur fate.God will give u a better man,if u don't show stupid weakness,that one will stay!! Biko am out!!!!!!!

      Delete
  3. Madam, this story is not complete. What exactly did u do that made ur hubby to send u back to ur father's house?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you blind?

      Delete
    2. Shut up... Men can do and undo

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    3. Oh please save me the stress of calling you nwa mkpi right now.

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    4. Did you read the story at all? Be asking stupid question peace maker.
      Mtcheeeeeeeeeeeew.

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    5. Y is this so called peace maker sooo daft? Mtcheww

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    6. I didn't look at the name before reading this and I knew it must be you. You never disappoint me with your silly comment.

      Delete
    7. Peacemaker i too like this person behind the id , stella blog is all about women Chaii. What has she done as well that she was sent to live somewhere? Don't just judge the men in every panama na wa o

      Delete
    8. Peacemaker & Anon 22:37
      Do you both have low self-esteem? Please apply brain before u talk next time.
      Lol see bashing wey una kon dey collect for the poor thinking wey una dey express. It's okay the poster's husband might as well be your mentor too.

      Marjorie

      Delete
    9. they have used your brain for bonle.

      Delete
  4. This is so very sad!
    Why are some women so desperate? Why are some men so evil and mean?? Chai God have mercy on this generation of ours.
    Poster i pray you get Justice!

    Been reading The Dv Diaries and i've been so sad and heartbroken reading Bv 'Ms Kay's Diary'... that woman really suffered! But i'm really happy she survived and is alive to tell her story! *smh*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Madam, u r stewpeed!
      Did someone not give u free, timely and close up legal advice in d past?

      R u now ready to send ur children 's father to jail?

      Even ur family knows u r stewpeed!!
      Comot here, abeg!

      Delete
  5. Hmm,I feel your pain,but you would have sent him to jail in the first place or sign an undertaking ,so he can be providing for your kids,he is just heartless and does not feel for you,I pray that may God hearted Nigeria help you out to fight the case,because it is not easy been a father and mother at the same time.God willl see you through.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Women something you would have fight from the beginging, now see how things have turned out to.Anyway don't worry ma help will come to you, the Lord will always be ur support. Men are so wicked, see the tricky way he used in sending you packing. No wonder most women don't like leaving their home for too long. Madam I feel ur pain, plz calm down help will surely get to you from our sdk lawyers, stay well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whiteberry ooooh,ur English is something else but I still love u tho 😘😘

      Delete
    2. Kim u ain't berrer gurl!!!

      Delete
  7. Abeg this woman sef never ready to get herself out of the shackles. Help this and see her waste your precious time.
    God ready sent help your way before but you blew it up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This poster is not legally married to the man, she moved in with him and was giving birth, when the man was ready, he went on and married properly. Madam change those children's name to ur surname, cut all ties with d man and move on with ur life.

      Delete
  8. Madam, why did u marry a poor man that cannot afford even accommodation in d first place?

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  9. Excuse me madam...U don't need help.a lawyer as willing to help u beht u decided to stop d process becos u didn't want ur husband to go to jail abi?Weldon...clap Fr urself as d faithful woman dat u is....I hope u find a suitable lawyer who Wil b willing to help u cos right Nw...U don't sound convincing to me.U sound like u want him to hear ur cry Fr help n come bk to u.and if u do find d help u need,I really hope u man up n allow d hediot go to jail.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you. This woman held on for this long because she thought her husband would come back to her.
      Weak women are the ones who marry a man who isn't responsible t enough to provide a roof over the heads of their family, so when they act as irresponsibly as they have done, then don't let it shock you.
      It is the same weakness that made you decide to tell the first lawyer you don't want his help again. She's just looking for attention or a way to vent that he didn't contact her.

      Delete
    2. Ha ha ha ha, Sister Nkechi suppose reward you Mystique as the interpreter that You Is nau.

      Delete
  10. They wanted to help u, u refused.
    He has moved on without ending things with you, you too move on n stop looking for him to come n end things cos to me, things don end teeey teeey. Better get another man to shine u n claim single.
    If u like stay there n hope!
    Gbagam!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Marriage is not by force. Don't u like d way he leave u alive and marry another woman?Do u prefer he kill u like his brothers Kolade Arowolo and Lekan Shonde did to their wife?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Women here just wan hear sey, the man break the lady head, he break the lady hand. Let this man be.

      Delete
  12. Stella dis woman is not serious! Wen shs ready to send her husband to jail, she shd let us know!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Again she said her family were to too keen about the man, but she went ahead and married him. You see I am tired of ladies wanting to marry by force they end up with this kind of men. Look poster you know what you have to do, even they lawyer you had before already advised you on what to do. Anyways you let 4 years pass without doing anything, my dear lady move on already!!!!!!!

      Delete
  13. This story got me really pissed off. 4 years laater???? Madam just let it go. U hv bn managin all this while na. So continue....no need again



    #I am a fruitful vine, I am a joyful mother of covenant children

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  14. Madam, It took you 4whole years to wake up abi? Hope you don't run back to your husband if he mistakenly says hi to you if you guys meet in court. I think you'll take the process more serious if you've to pay for it

    ReplyDelete
  15. Poster so it took you four years to apply wisdom.....mtcheww. This kind of person, by the time lawyers in the house reach out to her she will tell them its a family matter that she doesn't need their help.

    ReplyDelete
  16. But ur brothers friend who is a lawyer wanted to help u but u rejected the help, u don't want him to go jail abi, of what use is he to u now, u didn't tell us the full story cos, ur husband cannot just package u back to ur parents house for no good reason, this is a one sided story abeg.

    ReplyDelete
  17. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stop advertising in the comment section didirin oshi. Take your advert where you would pay for it
      Get out from here

      Delete
  18. All this women that trapped men with TB JOSHUA water , na so all there story dey be, madam abeg carry ya cross

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anakogheri!
      Who told you that TB Joshua's water traps people? Smh
      It's anointing water,we ministers it for healing and breakthroughs.

      Emmaaaaanuel, God with us!!
      SCOAN for life!

      Delete
    2. You & queen of trash are the biggest idiots on this blog. Very similar dark, lost souls who come on here to support witchcraft/jazz, murder, abortions, homosexuality, adultery, violence etc yet u share one common thing: your 'pastor'. That tells us all we need to know.

      Delete
  19. U annoyed me so much..when u found someone to help u, u said u dnt want to see ur children father in jail..shey nw u want him in jail? U sound like a daft woman by the way..my dear as u lay ur bed so u lie on it..shey nw that ur kids father is not in jail..are u happy now? Pls next time before u cut off free help think twice...I pray God sees u through..I pray he makes a way for u..I pray you find happiness and courageous..

    ReplyDelete
  20. Mschew,
    I pray you get the help you require.
    Something that you should have done since, you didn't want them to charge him with bigamy, hmmmm.
    No comment.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Haaa some men re wicked oooo

    ReplyDelete
  22. May God send your helper.
    pls,stop pitying the man....let him face the law.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Choi we are just created to be soft hearted humans no matter what.Imagine!!! Really wonder why some men have chosen to be infidels and animalistic in nature kawai. I pray you find the needed help and it's really high time cos four years is long enough.mscheew

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When she finds the help, let's hope she won't chicken out.

      Delete
  24. Bigamy is a big offence here in Nigeria but with money anything can happen here also


    That's remind me of Solomon Akiyesi's brouhaha.. Lolz

    ReplyDelete
  25. This is what happens when you marry a man/woman you know deep inside you isn't your spec. It's obvious this guy married his first wife for reasons beyond his control. Maybe he wasn't too financially buoyant to marry his spec, or he got her pregnant and hastened things. It could be for any reason but love. He obviously got irritated with living with her and tactically eased her out. I always tell men to make money first before thinking of marriage. With money, you get exactly the type of girl you had always wanted. Don't end up with an innocent woman and start pouring your frustration on her. This same thing applies to the ladies. If this woman had financial independence, he wouldn't have dared her to go to court. I doubt if he could have even attempted to con her out of her matrimonial home. The basic thing causing this beef is MONEY! Guys, forget marriage till you're financially good to go. With that, you can pick out an Agbani Darego of your choice and marry- if that's your variety anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌@blunt

      Delete
  26. Bigamy is a big offence here in Nigeria but with money anything can happen here also


    That's remind me of Solomon Akiyesi's brouhaha.. Lolz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Forget money,those judges are so scared now with what is going on

      Delete
  27. madam you are pissing me off.what do u mean by "he knows I can't do that " that's why he is playing you like a football.
    even if u are a quite person learn how to be agile, strong hearted and lively else not only your hubby will deal with you in this world....you don't need s personal lawyer self incase you don't have money....report to human right , they will take up the case ...tell them you are willing to give him s divorce...they will make him send 40k every month for each child.
    NNE muru anya oo.

    ReplyDelete
  28. madam you are pissing me off.what do u mean by "he knows I can't do that " that's why he is playing you like a football.
    even if u are a quite person learn how to be agile, strong hearted and lively else not only your hubby will deal with you in this world....you don't need s personal lawyer self incase you don't have money....report to human right , they will take up the case ...tell them you are willing to give him s divorce...they will make him send 40k every month for each child.
    NNE muru anya oo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go to his place of work nd report him so that they will transfer a certain sum of money to ur account r dey month for d upkeep of his kids

      Delete
  29. When someone offered to help you, you declined because you "didnt" want to send your children's father to jail. Now you are seeking help? The thing with some of you that ask for "help" is that, when you are presented with options you still do what is on your mind.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Men and lies, tufiakwa!!
    'Go and stay with ur parents while I sort for accomodation', meanwhile he was planning another marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  31. What do you need the services of a lawyer for when you don't want to send your horseband to jail? Women are the architects of their misfortune. A man took you and your kids for granted and you are still protecting him. What for? You had a lawyer take up your case before and you messesd up. Who knows if you who won't still mess up if other lawyers step in for you?
    Find a job first. Other things will follow

    ReplyDelete
  32. Someone was willing to help you, but your pitiful heart said NO!

    How do you people let men get away with rubbish?
    Someone that you should have arranged for thugs to beat him to coma first before suing him.

    That man is an unfortunate being and everything in his life would soon fall apart
    I don't know how people do bad to someone else without a second thought.

    I'm so disgusted I wish I could see that miserable husband of yours.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Tomorrow this one will come out gallantly to claim his kids without shame.Smh!

    Madam whatever it takes.. work hard. Under rain and sunshine..
    Toil the soil if need be, I need you to be soooo successful that this man will be gnashing his teeth in regret!

    I pray immense help comes your way.



    ReplyDelete
  34. madam you are pissing me off.what do u mean by "he knows I can't do that " that's why he is playing you like a football.
    even if u are a quite person learn how to be agile, strong hearted and lively else not only your hubby will deal with you in this world....you don't need s personal lawyer self incase you don't have money....report to human right , they will take up the case ...tell them you are willing to give him s divorce...they will make him send 40k every month for each child.
    NNE muru anya oo.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Help what? Oh, she's suddenly ready to send him to jail? No na, let her wait. God will touch his heart! Msheeew

    ReplyDelete
  36. Bigamy is a crime, not sure if in Naija which category it falls into; whether felony or .. .Anyways what I know is that the 2nd marriage is null and void; ie it does not exist in the eyes of the law from the onset especially if you both signed monogamy at the Civil Registry. The children born under such union too are illegitimate except he goes through court procedure to acknowledge them as his. So you still have legal claim on your 'husband' & all that he has if there's any. BUT if you both had signed for polygamy, then he can contract another & many more, it is legal- since Nigerian law recognizes mono & polygamous marraiges.

    Notwithstanding, it's been 4 good years, love thyself 1st by divorcing him. Liberate thyself. I bet you do regret now for not taking the advice of the previous lawyer who is your family friend. As for the kids, it is his f***ing responsibility; he has to contribute towards their wellbeing. So if it turn out in the process that his bigamy thing is exposed, so be it. If he goes to jail, so be it. After all for 4yrs he's been absent the kids did not die.

    Liberate thyself 1st from that bondage of 'married but single'. Love thyself, then you will find the psychological, emotional, mental & moral strength to go for what is best for you & the kids.

    Hope you get legal help. Pro Bono SDK Laywers, well done oo. Thank you all in advance for helping her out.
    Shalom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Its only sharia law that recognises polygamy and ones marriage can only be govern by that if it was contracted in the sharia way. Statutory marriage frowns at polygamy that's why its a crime (bigamy), their marriage is statutory one so there is no room for polygamy

      Delete
  37. God may I or any woman never be a victim of this,atleast let's know we have issues and divorce properly than this.. Men una matter plenty oo

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  38. Someone wanted to help but you were forming loving. SDK lawyers,please help but I just hope she won't halt process once again.

    ReplyDelete
  39. You help this fool now tomorrow she will go back to the man. Women thinking with their pussy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in eh. Nonsense woman.

      Delete
    2. Once he comes knocking, she will go back. I personally know a woman like that. Her husband abandoned her twice (for long periods of time oh) and twice she took him back. Despite that, she has always been the breadwinner and as we speak, the man even drives her car while she exercises her legs or uses cabs.
      Na so dem dey do o jare.

      Delete
  40. #Don't feel bad for making decisions that upset other people. You're not responsible for their happiness, you're responsible for yours*

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  41. What sort of help are you asking for? A lawyer was ready to help you and you said no. He committed a crime so if you don't want him to pay for his crime, then deal with it.

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  42. Madam are you sure you won't back out again? You didn't want to send the father of your kids to jail, but you comfortably gave him safely into the other woman's arms. The man really knows your mumu button and no, he was not jazzed. He planned this very well and you unknowingly helped him. I am not rubbing salt into your wound i just want you to have this at the back of your mind so that you don't back out again.

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  43. That's where she did wrong. What's wrong with women. I'm sure she thought the man would come to her.

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  44. But why are you crying for help now? I thought someone wanted to help and you stopped him because there was still hope. Pls send him to jail if possible and don't blink. You were probably putting too much weight on him while married by not helping financially that's why he tricked you out and waisted 4 more years of your time. What do you now want to do? Get a job first then come back here when you can afford the lawyers fees

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  45. diamond in d house12 November 2016 at 15:05

    Kk nahhhh? I will just read comments.

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  46. Number 1, since he is not ready to have since treat him like a total stranger.
    Number 2, for the sake of your kids and to teach him a lesson, deal with him.
    Number 3, this is your last chance so if you change your mind again oyo is your case.
    Number 4, prove to him the you are not afraid of him.
    Goodluck and may God's protection be upon you and your children,Amen.

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  47. Madam u don't need help,u just need sympathy and donations.I am a Lawyer but I won't help u cos I know ur type.by d time d court process starts,ur hubby knows ur mumu buttons all he needs 2 do is 2 start sending money 4 d children upkeep,he will begin 2 show care and d next thing,u will ask 4 d case to be dropped.d moment dat is done,he dumps d kids again and u begin 2 beg 4 help all over again. Ur type neva learns.besides u turned down help once

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  48. Madam poster,bigamy is a crime with 7 years imprisonment but from what you did to your first lawyer,which lawyer will help you out. I will talk to my principal and if he is ready to take it up then I will mail you but please don't come preaching half way that you don't want to send the father of your children to jail,he sent you to jail first by abandoning you and the kids. His marriage to the second woman is not even valid,please tell me you saved the evidence you got on facebook because that is what can be used to force him to provide the original or he will deny it.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Barr. Oma, while everyone else is condemning her you offered to help. I know she did wrong but pls help her out. It's a bad situation and the man needs to pay for it. Poster hold on help is on the way.

      Delete
  49. The man is wicked 👿👿👿....you too na wa 4 u 😒.
    I pray you find the help you seek. Goodluck.

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  50. My darling, I'm so sorry and my he‎art breaks for you and the kids. Yes, you can prefer a charge of bigamy because it is a criminal offence in Nigeria, punishable with 7 years imprisonment but I'll advise you not to, these are my reasons:

    #1: He is the father of your children, sending him to prison will not make him love you nor take you and the kids back. So to what end? Just ‎to make him suffer?

    #2: With due respect to the Bench, most male judges are either polygamists, not necessarily because they have more than one wife but because they support polygamy. The others who have only one wife, also have mistresses. Only ‎a handful are morally upright. Believe it or not, a judge's values influence his/her decisions on cases he/she presides over. A judge can choose to frustrate a case and for the next 8 years, that matter will still be pending in court. Trust me, it's not worth it. There's a reason you don't hear about bigamy cases.

    #3: You will be considered persona non grata, even amongst your friends and family. You'll be perceived as a woman scorned, even when you have the legitimate right to fight the inj‎ustice done to you. You'll be amazed at how fast your so called friends and even some family members will make you feel guilty. This is Nigeria after all. Society can be very brutal to women, can you stand the heat? 

    Don't allow anyone deceive you, they may form solidarity now but when 2 years passes and you are still battling it out in court, the solidarity will wane and you will be left alone to face your problems. After all, they have problems of their own to tackle. Remember, the problem is yours to bear. Those cheering you on will get tired very soon. If you doubt me, keep bringing up this matter here, it wouldn't be up to a week before some blog visitors will tell you to carry your cross because they already find your issue tiring.

    Sweetheart, if you want a divorce, it will be easy because you guys have been separated for 4 years. You can cite abandonment as the ground for divorce. Citing adultery will open him up to criminal charges as well because you have to join the lady he committed the adultery with as the 2nd respondent. There's no way the fact that they are "married" wouldn't come up. In your divorce petition, you can ask for spousal support and financial upkeep for your kids.‎

    Honey, I know you are angry and pained. I know you feel like you've been taken for a fool but ‎suing for bigamy wouldn't give you the money to take care of yourself and your kids. It wouldn't fix what has already been broken. At best, you will only have the satisfaction that he is in prison but at what cost? If you have a son or sons, they may grow up resenting you for sending their father to prison. Children can surprise you with how they analyse issues, especially when they become adults.

    Your major concern should be how to get a job or start a business. You need financial independence. Don't worry about your estranged husband, causality will catch up with him. He will definitely get the repercussion of what he set in motion. You'll be in my prayers.

    #e-bearhugs.‎

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    Replies
    1. I was waiting for a sensible response I you gave it. God bless ur kind heart and brain.

      Delete
    2. Ronalda, I've asked you this before, are you married? I love your brain. I want a hook up. If one-fifth of the clowns here had your brain, other than throwing invectives, believe me Stella's blog will be the most visited site in this neck of the woods.

      Delete
    3. 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌. ronalda you have to be the biblical Solomon. God bless you and your home.

      Delete
  51. Oga ju...hmmm madam poster ur husband has left you 4 good my advice 4 u is sue him biko and let him b responsible 4 d children...abroad child support is nt taken lightly and stop stopping the process mbok let him pay 4 his actions he is a wicked man anyway..i think u stl love him sef mtcheewm! biko move on!

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  52. Oga ju...hmmm madam poster ur husband has left you 4 good my advice 4 u is sue him biko and let him b responsible 4 d children...abroad child support is nt taken lightly and stop stopping the process mbok let him pay 4 his actions he is a wicked man anyway..i think u stl love him sef mtcheewm! biko move on!
    Maraya_says_so

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  53. Oga ju...hmmm madam poster ur husband has left you 4 good my advice 4 u is sue him biko and let him b responsible 4 d children...abroad child support is nt taken lightly and stop stopping the process mbok let him pay 4 his actions he is a wicked man anyway..i think u stl love him sef mtcheewm! biko move on!

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  54. If polygamy is not a crime, how is bigamy a crime? My friend you are the first wife. Now he has a second wife. That's all. Go and waste your money on lawyers.

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  55. Even a whole President's daughter became the 4th wife. So you being 1st, 2nd or nth wife is not sending him to jail in Nigeria. Be deceiving yourself.

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  56. How sure are we that you wont back out now?

    Maybe you enjoy the responsibility you are taking on his behalf..

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  57. If she's divorcing him now it's just formality. Because after two years and couple are not living together... Legally they are separated.
    You delayed in speaking up. Stella I think she needs financial assistance to care for herself and kids,than fighting an already lost battle. Except if she's lucky to see a copy of the marriage certificate and check what status the man claimed to do a second court wedding.
    Madam God will heal and reward you. Thank God he left your kids with you and hasn't attempted to abscond with them. It shows he doesn't love you and the kids. Time is great healer

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  58. Sorry ma'am I dont usually cuss out people but you actually sound dumb and stupid at the same time. Pardon me. Your husband knows you are actually this so he played you ten-ten. Na yoh sabi.

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  59. Why are men so heartless, pls house offer her all the help she needs

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  60. Abeg no lawyer should take up her case. She should go back to the one that was helping her. What rubbish. Tomorrow now she will tell you people not to worry that God is in control after una don waste time finish. Let her go and find work and train the kids since she has left the right person to be enjoying with impunity.

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  61. Everybody is angry at you madam and they are so right and entitled to it. You were once offered help and you turned it down maybe you believed or had faith that he will come back to you eh? Now you see this? But you will still get help insha Allah.

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  62. Let's not be quick in passing judgment. Situation warant different things. Please let's give her help. What the man did was wickedness.

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  63. I FEEL YOUR PAIN MAM, BUT ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE REALLY READY TO MOVE ON??

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  64. Nawa o
    May you get help ma, but pls don't make Stella regret posting this by backing out when you eventually get a lawyer here.

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  65. Focus on providing for your children madam. This is Nig. Remind me how many wives the Oba of Benin has again? Love yourself first so you can love your children and ensure they don't lack. God will open up doors of abundance for you. stay blessed

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  66. Poster if you are in Lagos, bigamy is not an offence. I think you should forget about the bigamy charges, and just fight the welfare of your kids. If you don't 've the boobs to drag and fight dirty with him. Just move on already and seize all communication with him. Hold firmly to your God and by his grace you will smile. It may take years of suffering and tears but the smile will be worth it.

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  67. Sister, my advise to you is to move on with your life and take care of your children. Don't worry, everything will be alright. I am a testimony. I got married in my final year in Uni at 21 and had my 1st child at 22, I thought I was smart and mature, but the man I married was a manipulator and an abuser, both physically and emotionally. I have been homeless more than once with children. I have been through hell and back, but you know what? I am still standing. I was very naive. I am not going to judge you for being naive, but you shouldn't have rejected the help. I pray you get helpers on this platform.
    To cut the long story short, luckily for me, I had residency abroad and when the heat became unbearable, I packed my bags and with the grace of God, left Nigeria with my children. This man soon came begging and stupid me took him back. At this point, we were abroad. I was doing everything, from paying the house rent, feeding, to school runs, activity runs, you name it. This man was so lazy and did not care. He stayed with us for a few months and did not even know the way to the children's school.
    We have been separated now for 10 years. About 4 years ago, this man showed up after disappearing for 6 years without a trace but this time around, I was very guarded. I wanted to give him a chance to make amends with his children against everyones advise because the youngest did not know him, being less than a year old when we separated, but as always he blew it.
    This time around, it was my children who had now become teenagers that were begging me to cut him off. He never changed, nor did he show any remorse. The children hated his guts as he was trying to poison their minds and was telling them all sort of things that were untrue. They never believed him and saw him for who he really is.
    I thank God that I have not looked back and I am now concentrating on taking good care of myself and my children.
    Be strong. I will advise that since he has remarried, you should dissolve the marriage or get divorced. I am in the process of divorcing my ex. I don't know how the courts work in Nigeria concerning maintenance, but if he is unwilling to do the needful, please leave him and let God be the judge. You don't want to be wasting your time and energy. Till today, this man has not contributed a dime to his children's upkeep, but God has been faithful. Please stop punishing yourself, end this sham that you call marriage.
    I am wishing you and your children all the best. E-hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Sister, my advise to you is to move on with your life and take care of your children. Don't worry, everything will be alright. I am a testimony. I got married in my final year in Uni at 21 and had my 1st child at 22, I thought I was smart and mature, but the man I married was a manipulator and an abuser, both physically and emotionally. I have been homeless more than once with children. I have been through hell and back, but you know what? I am still standing. I was very naive. I am not going to judge you for being naive, but you shouldn't have rejected the help. I pray you get helpers on this platform.
    To cut the long story short, luckily for me, I had residency abroad and when the heat became unbearable, I packed my bags and with the grace of God, left Nigeria with my children. This man soon came begging and stupid me took him back. At this point, we were abroad. I was doing everything, from paying the house rent, feeding, to school runs, activity runs, you name it. This man was so lazy and did not care. He stayed with us for a few months and did not even know the way to the children's school.
    We have been separated now for 10 years. About 4 years ago, this man showed up after disappearing for 6 years without a trace but this time around, I was very guarded. I wanted to give him a chance to make amends with his children against everyones advise because the youngest did not know him, being less than a year old when we separated, but as always he blew it.
    This time around, it was my children who had now become teenagers that were begging me to cut him off. He never changed, nor did he show any remorse. The children hated his guts as he was trying to poison their minds and was telling them all sort of things that were untrue. They never believed him and saw him for who he really is.
    I thank God that I have not looked back and I am now concentrating on taking good care of myself and my children.
    Be strong. I will advise that since he has remarried, you should dissolve the marriage or get divorced. I am in the process of divorcing my ex. I don't know how the courts work in Nigeria concerning maintenance, but if he is unwilling to do the needful, please leave him and let God be the judge. You don't want to be wasting your time and energy. Till today, this man has not contributed a dime to his children's upkeep, but God has been faithful. Please stop punishing yourself, end this sham that you call marriage.
    I am wishing you and your children all the best. E-hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Stell, my friend is going through something exactly like this! I fear men ooo but the women that marry them knowing they are married too are wicked!!!

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  70. If na me be your husband, I go marry third wife join. Bigamy ko. Trigamy ni.

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  71. Poster you are very very silly Ii swear...Oya take E-slap to rest your loosed screw. why are you asking for help now when you got it free of charge before but no,you had to think about it and cancelled. Na your children I pity. Did their father think bout you guys before marrying another woman? Did he think bout y'all emotions? Did he think bout how you'll fend for them kids knowing you ain't got no job? You were there thinking for 4 good years while your horseband was having the time of his life. He sees you as timid and weak that's why he dared you to take him to court. You better get up and jail his sorry ass.

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  72. Madam please divorce him and move on with your life. God will see you through.

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  73. U see y its not good to show understanding. She went to live with her parents to enable the husband fix their accommodation issues . now see

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  74. Madam.....which help do you need again when you had the chance to take him to court wat did you do?. So get a grip of yourselve and get a life for your kids and for yourselve. #Godovereverything.

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  75. Move on, it's over. Be strong for yourself and children. Don't waste the little money u have to give a lawyer. You will waste time and energy chasing shadows.
    Make yourself a woman of honour. Build your career and forge ahead.
    Food ridance to bad nonsense. Disappointment are blessing is disguise.

    ReplyDelete
  76. @Rolanda,well written post and truthful analysis of the realistic way of how the 'bench' works in practice vis-avis in theory.thoughtful and kind of you that your writeup tone reflect love,sympathy and kindness to the woman in question,HOWEVER desperate situation at times deserve desperate measures,all other BVS whose posts are harsh on her are seriously on tracks too AS SHE REALLY NEED TO BE SPOKEN TO HARSHLY WITH TOUGH LOVE..looking at her history,like aLl other BVS analysed,she s very gullible and weak, had access to free legal opportunity to right all wrongs her husband did to her and she rejected it.right now,she really wants to go to court not to jail the man(as she cant stand the heat that will bring on her and the kids) but to forcefully get the attention of the man.
    IT will be unfair on any BV lawyer who decides to do the case pro bono and after investing time,energy and personal expenses on this case,this woman will surely insists when the lawyer is seen victory round the corner that all legal proccess be stop as'its a family affairs and darling hubby"has apologised to her"!!
    (There was an instance of i think domestic abuse ?on this blog that a BV lawyer invested her time and energy to help the lady in question and the said lady backed out in the middle of the free legal process!said she had a change of mind.)
    Like you and some Bvs advised,let her only go to court to seek for child support.she can do this through ministry of women affairs or human rights group.

    ReplyDelete
  77. @Rolanda,well written post and truthful analysis of the realistic way of how the 'bench' works in practice vis-avis in theory.thoughtful and kind of you that your writeup tone reflect love,sympathy and kindness to the woman in question,HOWEVER desperate situation at times deserve desperate measures,all other BVS whose posts are harsh on her are seriously on tracks too AS SHE REALLY NEED TO BE SPOKEN TO HARSHLY WITH TOUGH LOVE..looking at her history,like aLl other BVS analysed,she s very gullible and weak, had access to free legal opportunity to right all wrongs her husband did to her and she rejected it.right now,she really wants to go to court not to jail the man(as she cant stand the heat that will bring on her and the kids) but to forcefully get the attention of the man.
    IT will be unfair on any BV lawyer who decides to do the case pro bono and after investing time,energy and personal expenses on this case,this woman will surely insists when the lawyer is seen victory round the corner that all legal proccess be stop as'its a family affairs and darling hubby"has apologised to her"!!
    (There was an instance of i think domestic abuse ?on this blog that a BV lawyer invested her time and energy to help the lady in question and the said lady backed out in the middle of the free legal process!said she had a change of mind.)
    Like you and some Bvs advised,let her only go to court to seek for child support.she can do this through ministry of women affairs or human rights group.

    ReplyDelete

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