Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

WHAT!!!!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

CHRONICLE OF A BATTERED PRIVATE.

Hello Stella and fellow blog visitors, this happened a long time ago but I still need help, that's why I'm sending my chronicles. So, to my story, it's a very long one. 

I met my ex boyfriend when I was 18, I had been in relationships before meeting him but promised myself I wasn't going to give my cookie to anyone before turning 18, so he was just so lucky to be the one. 

Met him a month after 18th birthday and at the very beginning, what he wanted was just sex(he told me this later on), I also knew that was what he wanted because it is impossible for most guys to see me and not want that (I'm pretty with a very good shape) and he found it hard to believe I was a virgin so I guess that was what inspired him to start a serious relationship with me, he wanted to discover what was behind the ice queen with a killer shape. 

Anyway, gave him my cookie 6months after meeting him, and since then, it was sex from morning till the next day, he loves me like 100%, I can't doubt that but the sex was too much. After having sex for an hour non stop, my bf will come back 30mins later and say he is horny. 

At first, I endured but later I had to tell him the s3x was killing me, even had to tell him he wouldn't want his sister to be treated the same way, but for where? The thing increased and he said its not his fault, he is always horny whenever he sees me, I'm too sexy etc. 

When we are about to sleep he either puts his palm on my boob's or private, says it makes him sleep better and wakes me up by 4am with the wet tip of his (you know what) touching my private. At first, I enjoyed it but later it turned to torture, I don't orgasm during penetrative sex so I think that contributed to my problem.

There was I time I fainted, you won't believe my bf had sex with me like one hour later, he was now telling me he was scared because I lost consciousness during the act, tho I later found out I was pregnant but I lost it. We both drink and he gets me high on purpose to have sex and to be able to explore all my body parts, and he begs like no tomorrow the morning after.

 I later stopped drinking with him.
So, because of all this, I lost so much interest in sex with him and just his hands on my boobs became irritating, I wasn't sexually attracted to him and sex became torture, I had to start imagining guys I have never been with when having sex with him. We had other issues we could have worked out to make the relationship work but because I wasn't attracted to him again, I couldn't live like that for the rest of my life. I had to call off an almost five years relationship because of this. 

I believe any guy I meet just wants sex no matter how much he claims to love me and I can't just let go again. Is this normal in relationships (I means the overkilling sex)?, did I overreact? Will I still meet something like this in my next relationship? Am I the one that needs to work on my self?

 Those I the questions I ask myself every day. I just hope I don't live the rest of my life been irritated with my hubby's touch. 

Can anyone else relate to this or am I just taking things personal?