Lolzzz people re looking for Santa,aunty stella dey find jokes lolzzz its okay
Santa locate me. Love locate me.
Shuo!the Saturday jokes never do you.
I'm not happy joor, after suffering dh to go and look for pounded yam and egusi, I threw up everything...this guy is lucky he is still inside my womb I would have smacked his bombom... #cravings ofapregnantgirl meanwhile Stella where is my Santa?
You will be dating one boo and he will be doing anyhow, taking you for granted telling you to leave that he is not ready, telling you that if you see another man you should marry that he is not ready yet. Okay ohJump to the next month, you meet a serious bobo with no brakes and no chills, changing your life with speed giving you makeover emotionally, physically and otherwise. Your family loves him your friends thinks he is the one you have never been happier, you know when a man is ready to marry you, dem no dey hide am it's as obvious as the knockout Portugal have France it is that obvious, you can pick your wedding colors already and prepare for your Bellanaija wedding. Then from nowhere the spirit of your wicked great great grand step mother will possess your first boyfriend to come and be serious, he will propose and suddenly become very serious telling you all sorts of bullshit the devil rolls his eyes at, telling you to remember the times you shared and how you have been through a lot together, you will really be contemplating going back because they told you the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know.I just thought I should tell you now that it is your village witches and demons that are calling your name inside a white stainless pan with water if you like you answer #copied
End time teeth
I fell down and the screen of my phone shattered, I had to put it on auto rotation to be able to use. I wish I was more careful, very painful.
A man escapes from prison where he has beenfor 15 years. He breaks into a house to look formoney and guns and finds a young couple inbed.He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to achair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets ontop of her, kisses her neck, then gets up andgoes into the bathroom.While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look athis clothes! He probably spent lots of time injail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I sawhow he kissed your neck.” If he wants s*x, don’tresist, don’t complain, do whatever he tellsyou. Satisfy him no matter how much henauseates you. This guy is probably verydangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll k*ll us. Bestrong, honey. I love you.”To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissingmy neck. He was whispering in my ear. He toldme he was gay, thought you were cute, andasked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him itwas in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I loveyou too!!”
Waiting to chuckle!!!😀😀😀😀😀😂😂😂😂😂
Second person to comment
My friend called me last night to Gist me about his recent journey. He traveled to lagos for runs, the man paid for his transportation, after 4 days of jigijigi, the man gave him 10k, 5500 for transport, so he made 4500, I've been laughing at him and his mumu journey. Osho free better pass this one.
Thanking God for another year..happy birthday to me..it's been A year..thankful
Babes as you go home for Xmas, this is howto know whereguys came back from.1. Any guy with too many pictures andplenty story is fromLondon (he has no money)2. Any guy that shares knock-out andballoons is fromChina (he has no money and he is not goingback)3. Any guy that wears singlet every were hegoes is fromLagos (he has no money, he just came toeat mama thanku)4. Any guy that wears kito slippers is fromTogo, Gabon orCotonou (he has no money, he came sothat mama will helphim borrow money from the villagemeeting)5. Any guy that ties head-tie or wears bigcombat short isfrom USA, (they are stingy)6. Any guy that wears ear ring and has amacho stature isfrom South Africa (he has no money, heonly came to thevilla to hide from narcotic police)7. Any guy that wears Jersey is from Spain,Germany,France or Brazil (shishi them no get and nathem doshakara pass)8. Any guy that has red coloured papermoney is from Korea(their money is near to zero value)9. Any guy that wears tracksuit always isfrom Canada(they have small but na only drink they fitbuy for you)10. Anyone that carries gadgets like laptop,iphone and bbup n down come from Malaysia and he gosell all of themby January to complete travel money.Stay with your man oooo,to avoid had Iknow in january,bythat time you no go see them again...............I don talk my own!CC: Facebook
Let me read comments
that was how i was chatting with my friend yesterday night about @12::25am, this ws our conversation..me... how far baeshe...i am fine and you?me.....sameshe....you never sleepme.....yes i don sleep...na my grandmother when die they chat with you so#lolna joke ooooooo
Anty Stella which joke Na, Na u go be my Santa this XMAS beer that in mind jor
Random Jokes1.Churches should please endeavor to mount projectors so that song lyrics could be displayed for most people who murder songs#So this girl sat beside me in church and was singing..."Owerri to Calvary he went for me, he went for me.... He died to sell me free"........ as if that wasn't enough she now sang...."Jehovah is your name, Jehovah is your name, 19 warriors, 8 in battle, Jehovah is your name..����2.My fear for weedStarted when I sawMy friend's father dabbingFor Don moen's songLWKMD........3.A girl visited a doctor to complain about her private part does not grow hair anymore, de doctor ask about de type of work she does, she replied prostitution, de doctor laughed and said have u ever seen a busy road growing grass before?? ������������4.I never believe that d country is hard until I saw a man this morning using anointing oil to eat bread...����������������kukuma kill me����������������������������������������������������������5..Be Informed!!!..A girl just died after dabbing.....Doctor's report: she died because of the odour fromher armpit.��������6.They will steal someone's phone that he bought for 80k........The person will now say "is not the phone dat pain me it's the Sim Card " of 100 naira! Iffa tear you slap ehh, ur ancestors will feel dizzy ����������7.Naija girls you pple can not kill us ohAt first you girls liked guyz with•Six packs( all boys being do situp fo gym)•then beards(guys being hustle beards like foreign currency..Both with spirit and cray fish.•Guyz with Height(Boys begin eat beans lol)•Now its Guys with pink lips abiMy naija brothers now don dey leave teeth nowdey brush lips ..Very soon you girls we say you like guys that can't BREATHE������������������
If your joke isn't rib cracking pls remain mute...there's so much dryness in economy pls I don't need dry jokes. Waiting for the rib cracking jokes......
LolIsaac you no well.
A friendly reminder to you all ATTENTION! ATTENTION!! ATTENTION!!!Please, somebody is trying to cause false alarm and despondency by spreading a very dangerous rumors about me. I have it on good authority that someone is telling people that I have stopped accepting Christmas gifts. I therefore would like to categorically state that at no point did I ever attempt to stop accepting, contemplated the idea, let alone even dreamt about it. Those are lies fabricated by my enemies who want to tarnish my good reputation & prevent my friends like you from buying me the gifts this festive season. After all said, I would like you to note the following so that you can be duly guided when choosing my gift.If you are giving me hamper: I don't want Bournvita because it makes me sleep a lot. I prefer Milo (Baba Sala) because I need lots of energy. Three Crowns milk nauseates me, I prefer Peak evaporated milk (Holland), its works well for my body. I don't want Milo Sardine o, Titus sardine (original brand) is OK. Granulated sugar purges me too, St. Louis cubed sugar is better. Then don't buy Nasco Cornflakes, I prefer Kelloggs. Dont buy beta malt oo, please Malta Guinness is better because it's good for my skin. Others included but not limited to Mango & Pineapple juice, cranberry juice, Ceres wine, assorted drinks...)If you are giving me food items: I love fresh fruits (Kiwi, Raspberry, Strawberry, Olive, Grape, mango, Pear, Plum) I don't want oranges, 5 crates of newly laid eggs, at least 5 live chicken or turkey, frozen causes cancer so I'm being careful. Mamadol Vegetable oil, & a bag of basmatti rice. Please, don't bother yourself to make 'Ogi' for me, Hollandia custard (5 bags) ma wapa fun mi. Thank you so much! May God continue to bless you as you honour this little request from me your one & only friend. One love! Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year in advance. Remember to add Swiss lace or French lace 5 yards 4 aso odun o.
Hmmmm the 1st time someone has written something good for men also.....! Ⓜ Who is a MAN? A man is the most beautiful part of God's creation. He sacrifices his chocolates for his sister. He sacrifices his dreams for just a smile on his parents' face. He spends his entire pocket money on buyng gifts for the lady he loves, just to see her smiling. He sacrifices his full youth for his wife & children by working late at night without any complaint. He builds their future by taking loans from banks & repaying them for his entire lifetime. He struggles a lot & still has to bear scolding from his mother, wife and boss.His life ends up only by compromising for others' happiness.If he goes out, he's careless. If he stays at home, he's a lazy. If he scolds his children, he's a monster. If he doesn't scold them, he's an irresponsible guy. If he stops wife from working, then he's an insecure guy. If he doesn't stop wife from working, then he's somebody who lives on wife's earnings. If he listens to mom, he's mama's boy. If he listens to his wife, he's wife's slave. Respect every male in your life. You will never know what he has sacrificed for you. Worth sending to every man to make him smile & every woman to make her realize his worth!HAPPY MEN'S DAY!Which never comes..😭😩😰 🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎾🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱🎱⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀🏀➖➖➖➖➖➖Just send this msg to other groups n see the magic.... all balls will start bouncing. Only sender can see this.
Lemme grab a seat
Yesterday I took my shoes to the shoerepairer, today I met him wearing them. Iasked him why and he told me they wereon road test.
A woman visits her son and daughter in-law in their house,in the evening, they are all in the living room and the wife is horny,she doesn't know how to get her husband to go to the bedroom alone with her,so she fakes being sick and she starts shivering. The husband takes her into the bedroom where she tells him what she wants and they make love. The husband returns to the living room and his mum asks "how's she now?" He says "she's better,I gave her some tablets" the mum says " that's good,but you didn't close the pharmacy " his zipper was down.
Na recession cause am. Even me,make I no lie dey luk for santa "shines teeth".
Dear sir,If you can't tell her you're BROKE because you're afraidshe might dump you, that's a GLARING sign that SHE'SNOT THE ONE.
What brand of Nigeria is this?NEPA will bring light and take it in 15minutes?What do they want me to do with it?Iron singlet?
All these guys who call their girlfriends 'mummy' hopeyour biological mother is aware.
I have something else.... Are you as smart as a 6 year old ?? There are 4 questions. Don't miss one. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator? Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down. The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? Did you say, open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend .... except one. Which animal does not attend? Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory ... Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it? Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the Professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively proves the theory that most professionals do not have the brains of a four-year-old. Send this out to frustrate all of your smart friends.
Knock knock jokes anyone?
There is nothing more annoying thanseeing a very slim man with a potbelly.
Any man who prefers NOODLES toAFANG SOUP is like a sister to me.
I'm all ears.
I took a girl out last week, after drinking and gisting, we went to get a room, after d WHOLE THING, we set out for home, in the cab, she asked me a ridiculous frightening question. "WHEN LAST DID I GO FOR HIV TEST"? Omo come see as i 'pollute'.. My body Don dy shiver, goose-bumps all over.. Sweat catch me for face, even in d presence of cold night breeze.. E no easy ooo.. I jus gather small courage with my timid shakey voice, "coughs" I DID IT LAST 3MONTHS.. She kon say OK.. I jus paused, asked "ehh, what happened, why r u not talking again, I said last 3months," she said nothing, that she jus wanted to know.. I JUST SAT IN D CAB, LOOKIN LK MUMU, NA D THING WEY PERSON FIT CHOP, NA HIM DY KILL PERSON, SO MANY THOUGHTS.. I DINT EVEN KNOW WHEN I SHIFT GO OTHER SIDE, SHE NOTICED I WAS PALE.. she asked what's wrong, I said "nothing o, nothing" summoned courage.. Asked her why she would ask that kinda question.. She said "CEST RIEN" *in French" its nothing... Till we got to her junction, I cudnt say FEM , I bid her goodnyt, dash off to me house, trekking like say dem dy pursue me.. Sweat all over my body, I just put hand on my head.. Dey beg God say shey I never enter oven like this... Got home, dint even wait, started calling d girl. Omo d girl no pick oo... Haaa... "Temi taa" "joor gbe-call yii' after like 20mins she picked.. Then I asked lk 5times over n over again, "please, what you said in d bus is it true" she said "non, she jus wanted to know" I said OK ooo.. I dropped de call, cudnt sleep well that night, I woke up 2am for midnight, dy think.. Sent another message to her on whatsapp Till like 4am, she no reply ooo, I later stopped and slept off.. Very early in d morning, bfor going to work, I Don bombard am with messages, she later replied like 11am.. She assured me , nothing was wrong... Naso I just give myself moral.. Like tubaba, nothing dey happen jare.. I remembered we used "protection" that day.. But fear still grab me, cos we didnt used it the first time we met.. This ordeal happened the second time.. Jus hoping and praying its not it oooo.. Cos na another man country be this.. Ivory coast "just French French French" BUT WAIT OOO.. GIRLS... WHY DO YOU LIKE ASKING THIS KIND OF QUESTION... ITS NOT good OOO... THIS IS EVEN THE 2ND TIME, A GIRL WILL SAY THIS KIND OF THING.. IS NOR GOOD OOO.. PLEASE.. NO BE THIS KIND THING PERSON DY USE JOKE...
Haha hahaNo be small ppl are looking for Santa,me sef dey find santa
Rib crackers in the houseDo justice
Who joke epp? Anyway let me gee one. So Nigerian footballer Taiye Taiwo clocked 37 years old yesterday in the UK while, his twin brother celebrated his 47th birthday in Nigeria yesterday. Wow! Is God not great?
Enter your comment... Am waiting .......
Hahahaahahahahaha very funny
As in your friend is a faggot? Uwa nmebi.
Wow wow wow
Akpors’ elder brother, Rukewe, traveled to London months ago, leaving behind Akpors, their aged mom & their pet cat, kelly. Last week Rukewe called from London to know how they’re doing…RUKEWE: Akpors how una dey now, how kelly?AKPORS: Kelly done die.RUKEWE (after a pause): Akpors you for use small small reveal dis kin bad news na. U for jus say d cat fall inside well but neighbors de try comot am. Den when I call again, u go say e break neck small but vet doctor dey try revive am. Den when I call again, u go say dem try their best but dem no fit save am. Na so dem dey reveal bad news in a mature way. u hear me?AKPORS: Yes bros no p.RUKEWE: Ok. how mama na?AKPORS: Bros. mama sef fall inside well o, but neighbors dey try comot am. (Phone cuts)Rukewe has been admitted in a privatehospital in London after going into coma.
lol... nice one
is your friend male or female?
Lol... Funny you... @ calling your name inside a white stainless pan with water 😂😂😂
Forget the Data wahala and laugh it off😜😜😜😜A Nigerian mother was lucky enough to see her 3 daughters get married the same year, so she called them after the wedding and told them "Dont forget to text me your first night experience and text it in code" So....... after a week, the 1st daughter texted "NESCAFE" and the next week the 2nd daughter text "BENSON" the mother being an intelligent woman went to get a Nescafe tin and read the label "fantastic till the last drop" went to her husband's pack of Benson cigarette and read "Extra long, king size" she smiled and said "not bad for their ages". After the next week, the 3rd daughter texted "NAIROBI to MOMBASA", the mother then called Kenya airways help desk to enquire about their Nairo-Mombasa flight and they replied "it's 3times daily, 7days a week, and the flight duration is 75mins". The mother fell down and shouted. "igweeeeeeeee!!! This one will kill my daughter ooooooooo!@Tee_y
Awesome I love this
Hahahahah wise woman
My sister never ever go back to that ex.. big time mistake.. move on already...
Lol, very funny
Lmfaoooo correct mama
LMAO ,you're on a roll rex
This happened when I was in 100 level at the university.. Went to visit my brother in the male hostel with my friend..I was putting on a white shot ..(claiming fine gal)..we passed through some group of boys in the male hostel and and i was busy making shakara for them.. they began to sing flavour(pant no n'iro)have not heard the music before so I never thought they were referring to me..they continued with their song until I quietly ask my friend to go behind my back ..only for my friend to discover that my pink coloured pant was showing..chaii..I felt like the ground should open for me to jump inside..it was the most embarrassing moment of my life. Ndia just wukasiam n'ala
#People who say they don’t have time simply don’t have their priorities straight. If it’s important to you, you’ll make time*
Hahahahahaha. Had a good laugh. Tanx
Aproko! Town crier!
Hahahahah. Dis cracked me up @ Oyanu. God is indeed great. C miracle o. Hahahahah
Some girls could suck and lick d***k as if it's ice cream, but when you remain sachet water for them, they will open another end to drink it. AUNT HYGIENE, I HAIL OOOOO
The same thing happened to me ooo. My iPhone6s+ just shattered just like that!!! Pained much!!!
@olabanji olajide, u really got me rotfl here. Why u dey fear? Abeg dey always use condom o. Make these girls no go give hiv.
Lol, nice one.
Happy birthday Mrs. Albert. Wullnp.
I was frustrated trying to get them right.
Hahahaha @Olabanji.... After you don collect without rubber, why fear no go cripple you..... You need to be carefulcareful and go for test in the next three months and another 3 months later to be sure. You haff buy trouble. For the next six months, no peace for you
Hahahahaha, very funny
Chai. Rotfl. Very funny Rex.
Lara, why are you sounding like an ambulance? Wow. Intéressant. I got d answer to question 3 only.
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