Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


Hmmm....




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE..
IF YOU LOVE SOMEONE,SET THEM FREE!

Hello Stella,


Please post my story, I really could use an advice right now. Bvs, I will go straight to the point because it's kinda long but I'll try my best to summarise.


Four years ago, I met a friend, let's call him Vincent. He was going through a tough time because a girl he had met four weeks ago got pregnant for him after deceiving him she was on pills. He still try to get her to take the plan B after but she flat out refused. So he was kind of upset she intentionally got pregnant to tie him down. He was emotionally stress because he wasn't ready for a baby financially. He was scared and I had never seen a guy freak out like that about a baby. I kind of encouraged him the best way that I can. 



He wanted to leave the girl because she try to manipulate her. He said he would take responsibility for the baby alone. I had to step out of the situation because I felt he was falling for me and I for him. I didn't want to get in between them if they still had a chance. We lost contact and he found me again seven months later on social media. He had moved away from the city we all were living to another city. Let's call it Chicago. He told me he and the girl tried to make it work but they broke up. He found out she was sleeping with a married man and he can't forgive that. We started talking again on phone, texting and skyping. He asked me out and I refused, was scared of all the drama and I don't know how I feel about a man who has a baby and a baby mama.




Not until this time last year that I decided to give us a chance. That was three years after we met. At that time, I was going through a tough time and a lot of stress, I was depressed. And I told him that time what I was going through and he promised to help me out of it all if I just gave him a chance. And I did. He was soooooo good to me. Helped me out of my financial problem with a lot of money I can't even mention here. He was there for me. I came out of depression. There were days I won't make it through, if not for him. I was happy and he played a huge part in my happiness. I begin to think he was my God sent. Not to sugar coat anything but he was the best thing that ever happened to me. 




And this is where the problem started. He wanted to do an investment. He had done it before and failed and lost a lot of money. I really don't know much about the investment but from what he told me and two options he gave. I chose options two because it takes longer but has lower risk. We both agreed. Only about two weeks later he told me he's broke because he had gone ahead with the investment and went with option one. I told him I thought we decided on option 2 and he didn't even let me know he was changing his mind. He said option 2 will take too long. Still, I supported him. And two weeks later, investment failed. He lost all of his money. He was very upset with himself. It was a lot of money. I tried to encourage him.



 All hope is not lost and blah blah blah. But he was still psychologically stressed about it which I very much understood. And then one day he sent me a message that we might not get to talk a lot for seven days because he's going through a financial breakthrough fasting and prayer with his mom. I understood. Seven days passed and we still weren't talking much. He seemed distracted, like he was with me and not with me. I tried to talk to him. He said he's psychologically stressed and just need a break from all his routine. He wants to take a vacation from work and travel and he wants a break from us. I said OK that I understand. And then I called him back and told him we are not taking a break from us. He pulled me out of a psychologically stress before and I can do the same for him if he let me. He agreed. We talked and agreed that taking the vacation was good for him. And then he travelled to Asia for one week.



When he came back, he came to my house. Everything was fine. Curiosity just pushed me to check his phone while he was sleeping. And then I got the greatest shock of my life. I rad a message between him and his mom. He told his mom he just met this Asian girl online and she's this and that and that. The conversation with his mom was dated around the time of his supposed fasting and the break he wanted from us and all the distractions that I thought it was because of the failed investment. And he travelled to Asia to supposedly take a vacation. I woke him up from his sleep, but I could really could not say much of anything because I was just crying. I was hurt. He begged me, swore he didn't see the girl when he travelled. 



He said he was distracted a bit with her but she was just a distraction. I told him you don't tell your mom about a distraction. He begged me, cried and swore he's not that kind of man. I believe him. I was still hurting but I forgive him. Even after that, I still feel like something is missing like we lost some kind of connection somehow. Few days later, he texted me that he thinks he needs to come clean about how he got distracted. He said he met the girl on Facebook and they were talking as just friends. The girl happened to mention that she doesn't want kids ever in her life. And that was something he had been considering after all the emotional stress of his first child.



The hurt I was feeling doubled. First, I want kids but most of all, I feel he's only saying that to get rid of me. Whichever one it is, it's bad. I was hurting, almost to the point that I thought if I didn't do anything about it I could hurt myself. I wanted to use him to take my hurt away. So I told him I heard him. No kids. He said he would get a vasectomy. He went back to being good like he was from the beginning while I quietly withdraw myself from him. Two weeks when I thought I was emotionally stable enough, I told him how I really felt. He said it's okay and it means we are breaking up. We stopped talking. Three days later, he called me back and told me he would consider having a kid, that he loved me and doesn't want to live without me. We started seeing each other again.



Last week, he cancelled thanksgiving on me to go be with his son. I understood. Only after that, he told me spending time with his son who is now four years old, has made him realised he doesn't want to go through the diaper stage any time soon. He wants to have a kid in the next ten years. Oh and I would be close to menopause in the next ten years.


I was confused. Something hadn't felt right between us for a while now. And the baby thing is just ridiculous. I just thought he's trying to push me away or something. And if he really doesn't want a kid for the next ten years, it's not good for me too. So I told him, it's okay. I release him. He can leave me now. He said thank you and that he will never forget me. I told it's best if he forget me cos we really over this time. I blocked him on all my contacts already. I'm at peace with it. But when I think of how he's poured out himself for me all this while, and all the good he has done, I feel like maybe I owe it to him to try and get through to him. But I don't want to be another Toke, trying for the next ten years.



 We've had the baby talk a lot, and it seems unyielding. I'm 27. All my friends are married with two kids. I'm desperate but not desperate enough to want to keep him by force. And I'm emotionally drained too, I'd like to be single for a while and focus my energy on other things. But I don't know if I should really let him go or try to get through to him or something. He's given too much for me that I don't think it should end like this.


A lot happened in between that I can't type. But that's the summary.


Thank you Stella and Bvs



*You cant hold unto something that's not there Sweety.
He's gone already so release him and pray a good man finds you.If you are feeling guilty that he was there for you,think about this..you can only be there for someone who allows you be there for them.
Besides,he is probably in love with the Asian girl

Chronicle folder is empty ooooo



106 comments:

Mi Lady said...

Munching my Marie Gold biscuit while i digest dis chronicle in full. *sips Chapman

xxxTrinityxxx said...

Poster forget the guy.he has been discharging you small small but you didn't realise. There are men who won't tell you its over straight up but will be coming up with all sorts and expect you to figure it out yourself.what is yours will come to you in the end

STARRY LARRY said...

27 and stressed up like this? Thought you would be around 34/37, abeg free that guy and face your future. Also, you're not even emotionally ready for marriage, you need to grow up a bit, still have a lot of work to do on yourself




*Larry was here*

amanda favour said...

Na wah!!!
Babe move on fast biko
This relationship you just ended dikwa somehow
I don't think that guy is ready to settle down in the next 20 yrs

Anonymous said...

My traditional marriage had been scheduled to hold next year march, but there's one issue at hand, my fiance's mother is insisting we have it done in Lagos rather than going to the east for it. She has been influencing her son who doesn't mind going to the east about the same issue and now she brought the matter up saying all sorts about my family not been considerate.
As it stands, there's nothing my family can do about it, its either we go to my village or leave it.
Bvs, is it a crime to do what tradition says by going to the east to do the marriage?
Are there people/family who doesn't mandate going to the village for marriage?

Villager said...

I tink part of the risen we hold onto somtin so tite is becos we fill somtin so grate wont harpen twise.

ANGELRAY4SDK said...

What do u mean sef, are u telling me he helped u for free, did u not fuck him, what ever he spent on u, u have paid back with ur body so stop this nonsense,the guy is dating another girl, he doesn't want to hurt u dats why he lied about him not wanting a child, there are a million and one men out there, go hustle for another guy and stop putting all ur eggs in one basket, Una no dey hear word.

young FOREVER said...

U r a good girl, for you to think you owe him a lot after all he did for you. But babe,move on. He is really distracted, left,right and center and you will emotionally continue to torture yourself if you try sticking with him

On the other hand, ultimate cycler is back.

Former Flirt said...

Let him go. He obviously has so many issues that he has to get over. He doesn't even know what he wants, he doesnt know what he needs and unfortunately, he has lost his identity. He lacks wisdom and he should be worried/praying about that instead of fasting and praying for financial breakthrough.

Let him go dear. Your best years are ahead of you.

PS: You dont owe him anything except your friendship set within the confines of common sense. You don't owe him the rest of your life or your peace.

Becky Divine said...

Awww come take a hug darling! It's well... you will be fine

You did the right thing breaking it off with him and blocking him from all your contacts. The guy is a good man..which is why its so hard for you to let him go!

But he is not your man! Cos if he is yours, he will do anything humanely possible to make you happy. Get married, have babies and make a home... but he doesn't want all that! And i think he might be scared of real commitment; like marriage. I think he is that kinda person that wants to have a partner but won't add the 'wife' title to it like Oprah and her man. Unfortunately you want to get married and have kids, So it won't work out between you two.

Just pull yourself together okay, focus on yourself for now and at the right time, your own man will come. Hugs

Mi Lady said...

Madam poster, let him go. U dont owe him anytin rather you owe God all the thanks. None of these wud av happened witout God. That guy was just an instrument and his phase is over. Brace up and get busy real good. Love will find you at the appointed time. You cant be faster than your destiny. Let go and let God.

Olu Vee said...

Hugs babe# I can imagine what u're going through. That guy has lost his feelings for u. I knw of some guys who wil swear wt bibles meanwhile they were lieing @ that moment. He doesn't feel anytn abt u anymore n stil lieing to u. Ur heart will heal soon. Do not go back wt him even if he comes back begging.

white Berry said...

Will read later

Anonymous said...

I seriously need an advice. There's this person, we trained in the same place. When I opened my shop I told her that she can come and join me so it won't be too boring for me. My sisters and friends have warned me about it that such arrangements doesn't end well. my mum doesn't know about it and she mustn't. It's 6 months now that she has been with me and I don't want her coming by next year. Pls how do I do it without hurting her.

STAY AT HOME DAUGHTER said...

Will you be my distraction. Lol
Just remembered how my friend got married. From being a distraction to a wife and now a mother lol.

Poster the guy doesn't know what he wants. He's confused. He needs to figure out his life. I think he needs to do that alone. If he finds himself and comes back and you are still available then fine. Seriously tho you really don't want to be another Toke!

marriedchick said...

Let him go....

winners baby said...

I believe your guy is inlove with some one else ,he is just bringing fkexy excuses,just release him and let him go,I pray God give u your rightful partner.

shandy sleeks said...

My dear,you have tried. If you wait for him for the next ten years and it doesn't work out,what will you tell yourself.He already has a child, a son at that.Don't waste your time,leave him and move on.You can still be of help to him one day but not now because his mind is somewhere.

Loveme Jeje said...

Chai. See what women go through.

Abeg you have to get plan B. No. 1 there is no money and there is no love. He is still a baby. Please look ahead and look for another man to hold.

OLUCHI OSITA said...

Madam is well with you, just move on already

OLUCHI OSITA said...

Madam is well with you, just move on already

Bookie Lee said...

long chronicle, #asian love, madam poster OYO is ya case.

JACINTA MBACHU said...

Doppel take over. Portable u too. Jasmine u three advice on point

Jennah said...

Post you don't need to block the guy from contacting you. Just forget him and don't force him to change his view. In other word just let him be!

THELMA'S CAKE WORLD said...

According to you, you said and I quote that

. "He's given too much for me that I don't think it should end like this"

Poster, that quote above is meaningless,the only reason you're still trying to scoop the already spillt milk is because you're AFRAID OF BEING ALONE.....the handwriting is boldly written on the wall, pls do yourself a big favor and forget this guy totally else you'd end up like toke.
*Faithful bv*

Mrs. Romas said...

Let him go and stop wasting your time with him!
He's not ready to be the kind of man you want to spend the rest of your life with; in essence, he's not stable.

You're still in young, you can still find yourself with someone more deserving of you. Go out and mingle, socialise with others.
Love might find you this new year.

Anonymous said...

U owe him nothing.move on

Isi beke said...

Pls let him go and move on with ur life, if you want to continue keeping in touch you might end up wasting your whole time nd thereafter not finding d right man for yourself...... let it go pls

Anonymous said...

Stella, to solve this folder is empty issue, pls post one chronicle at a time. Sometimes we don't have time to advice two or three people at a time. If you post one at a time, we would be able to think thoroughly before giving any advice. Dear poster, I believe you shold let the guy go. Your own man will come. Don't be desperate else you will end up writing a book nobody will buy. Be wise and prayerful.

Blackberry said...

Woman I command you in d name of whatever u believe in, be thou released, be freeeee, be freeeee from whatever is foolishly making u hold onto this emotionally absent man.
Kai, where are from if I may ask?
Some girls tho'.

Atheist. said...

53566 22526 68456 (glo)
53566 26188 65936 (glo)
1915 1083 4766 5871 (airtel)
1299 7253 6664 5890 (airtel)

See convo b/w myself & a BV lastnyt.

*Rings*
BV: Hello goodevening.
Atheist: yeah, goodevening i got ur contact from SDK, i'm here to play Santa 4u.
BV: yeahhhhhh, God don pick my call ohhhh!!!! *xcited*
Atheist: Actually, i wrote down 3 names & randomly picked urs to visit like a thief in the night...
BV: Thank you so mch, so wat would it be my Santa?
Atheist: I'd give you a password, go to Ikeja city mall, since ure on the mainland, ask for the cashier named Beatrice (on braids), she'd let u pick items worth the amount I've paid for, she'd attend to you.....
BV: wow!!!!!! Ure trully an Angel.
Atheist: Start by telling her the atheist sent u, then show her the password....
BV:......*long pause*
Atheist: Hello are u there?
BV: Wait oh, ure the Atheist on SDK?
Atheist: yeah, is that a problem? I don't sense the initial xcitment anymore.
BV: um..... I don't feel comfortable accepting items from one who doesn't believe in God, i'm sorry but i don't feel comfortable accepting anything from you... Thank u for ur kindness sha.
Atheist: Are u serious???
BV: i know id need those items but it dsnt go down with my spirit.
Atheist: JESUS!!!!!! Ok o..... Watever makes ur pillow soft at night, alright bye.
BV: yeah bye.

Some ppls mindset is responsible for their plight, Hungry never catch her well.
I just jejely called the nxt name on my list & passed the xmas blessings.

5500 1213 6436 2881 (mtn)
5929 5679 2821 9666 (mtn)

Abeg if ur spirit de do u one kind to accept my MMM shoki, abeg waka pass.

Anonymous said...

Poster I agree wit stella,u can only be there for whoever want u to be there,move on with ur life nd pray that God send a loving man who will want to have kids with u.We re africans nd we love having children

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

My dear u are desperate full stop.
You are thinking of how to make baby with a man that is yet to propose!
A man that has not shown any signs of seriousness in the relationship.
For your mind u now u are a dating a man ba?
Wake up and smell the coffee.
I wonder y girls likes men with lots of baggage.

La' Sunshine said...

You are right villager

amanda favour said...

Biko go to your father's house and get married traditionally joor...
Forget that township marriage
Are you desperate?
What's your parents view on it?
I think your mother in law to-be is over domineering and this won't be favourable for your marriage.
Please stand your ground now oh! and watch what will happen
They can as well call off the wedding if they don't agree to your terms
Unless you're desperate,don't allow them to push you over

Babe said...

I agree; just let him go... His excuses are too flimsy. Your man will come

Married man said...

Your mother inlaw is either trying to cut cost or protect her son however, going to the village for traditional marriage is the best pray your man listens to you. Besides if he really loves you and have the means he will surely go to the village.

Adeniji Bisi said...

See this girl ooo...27yrs and u r this desperate.nawaooo.

IDEATO and queen n boss,pls come in here n tell her ur experience so far maybe she will learn from that



Mc pinky

IJAY said...

NNE biko happy DAT guy, he doesn't know what he want

Adeniji Bisi said...

U r wrong dear,d guy in question is ready to settle down but not even with this lady..u get ba


Mc pinky

chinedu ugorji said...

evening Stella I love your blog it's what keeps me going, it's educative and entertaining, I was introduced by a friend thanks to her..
Seriously I was not happy when I got to read yesterdays CHRONICLES.Common!! You ladies have these mind set about guys that is really wrong. Who told you we all care about the cookie? Common nah we are not all the same trust me, some of us don't really carry it like world cup. It's not a big deal if the lady travels to see the guy it doesnt means she's desperate it's a sacrifices for what she believes in. Guys like me appreciates that, and would hold her to a great esteem. What if the guy wants to eat the cookie so what! is she a kid, She knows what she wants most guys would not force her. Haven't you read about ladies that keep their virginity til they get married and at the end of day shes divorced? Or have you not seen or read about any lady that did everything I mean share the cookie around but was blessed with a good husband that loves cares and respect her it's vice versa. There's no standard or rules and regulations in the things of the heart what works for miss A might not work for miss B you just have to listen to you heart, ladies don't miss out on the good things of life cos of some ideology you have in your head. Thanks lady Stells love you. Keep on the good work

Anonymous said...

HOW CAN?
folks be talking about babies without talking about marriage?
a girl and a boy sleeping under same roof without an iota of commitment?
Marriage cannot be started upside down and you hope to make it work.
When you began to have sex is the day you began to puncture holes in a relationship.
If a girl wants a boy to marry her, she should keep sex out of a relationship.
Men generally like that which they have not pinched and "eaten".
Girl, this toyboy is in Asia and you better get going.

Anonymous said...

You are not ready for kids but you are ready for sex "skin to skin"?
Are you real?
Nobody "trapped you", you trapped yourself inside a hole!

orela said...

If your tradition mandates you must do it in your village then it's up to you...

Where I am from the wedding is done wherever your parents are resident even if it's miles away from your village..

Eastern should be in a better position to help you. ..I for one can't imagine going to my dad's village to get married when he is not based there and putting everyone through the risk of traveling...Wishing you the best though

Teacher Queen said...

@Villager, wawu @ your written English. I want to believe it's just for fun. #regardstoyourteacher!


Poster, It may not be easy but I think you should forget about him. When he is ready to get married he may come back if he is yours.

Married man said...

Your mother inlaw is either trying to cut cost or protect her son however, going to the village for traditional marriage is the best pray your man listens to you. Besides if he really loves you and have the means he will surely go to the village.

Sparkle said...

No be small discharing ooh,poster biko wisen up.. its obvious the guy doesn't want to be with you and will never will.. forget the I don't want kids for now stories..There will always be stories to get rid of someone.. you're 27 love will find you.stop acting desperate pleade EOD

Yvonne said...

Cut him loose abeg.

Anonymous said...

Confirmed gigolo and 419, have paid him back with your body and cash.

temmy yemmy said...

Let him go please, God will give u ur own husband biko.


@Tee_y

Anonymous said...

Why mention Toke's name? The handwriting is on the wall clearly.

Kiks said...

Why mention Toke's name? The handwriting is on the wall clearly.

Madea said...

Your fiancès mother isn't serious at all. Why will she be the one to choose where you'd hold your trado which is supposed to be in your hometown as an igbo lady? Hian! Where do they even tell this sorta tale? O Chim! You people should check her temperature. Inukwa! She's about to dictate your marriage though. God help you! *tongue click*

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

E-hugs, let him go. You will meet someone better.

Candy YumYum (MIND SO MILITARY) said...

you want to force your way to change is mind? is the fuck that sweet? come on! from the time you started saw that text, you should have put ur eggs in 2 or mor baskets, now see how desperate u are?

Anonymous said...

Angel Ray honestly you need to always do a brain check before typing....u talk any how... Irritating somebody mschweeeeeeeeew

Obama's Sister said...

Poster in as much as I feel u re in pains, truth is Dude isn't for you. God kip showing u signs physically dt he is not d one,but u kept letting d devil mk u see only that Vincent has done a lot for u. My dear move-on, someone who will love,cherish&adore u wud cm.
Shallom.

HOUSE OF LAWOF said...

You are correct Trinity, some men will lie to you that there is a god in their family you must worship to marry him, deep in his heart he knows you won't agree to worship a god at the end you will have to release him and not blame him lol. Men have a lot of tricks to tell a lady off without saying it directly. Dear lady don't feel bad like Stella rightly said you can't be there for someone who doesn't want you to be there for him. You seem like a good and considerate person, don't worry Mr right will locate you as you enter year 2017.

Baby Oku said...

U r about to marry a yoruba man that let's his Mum control his affairs.. Goodluck Sister..

Just so u know. Traditional marriage is the main marriage as an African lady. And dnt loose ur culture cos u want to marry. Ur culture is the only thing u have got since we copy everything other thing from oyinbo.

Chidinma Gift said...

It is not easy dear but you have to move on, staying in that relationship will cause you more hurt believe me.
Don't worry sooner or later you're going to meet the one that will sleep you off your feet just let this one go

Baby Oku said...

I agree with u villager. Mayb the guy is a good guy no doubt. But poster he doesn't want u or he really doesn't want to settle down. Let him go. Since u r a gud person, u will def attract better guys..

Am please u r jst 27.. dnt be stressed or desperate. U live in a civilized world. Dnt let the nigerian in u affect ur reasoning.

Anonymous said...

You are giving him bad luck, go for deliverance

Jasmine said...

I want to believe u r not an Igbo lady coz if u are, ur mother in law won't have the mind the say that rubbish

Jasmine said...

Just tell her plainly. Simple. U guys like to complicate issues for urselves o

amanda favour said...

OMG!!
OMG!!!
I just loaded the two mtn cards 200 each
Thanks atheist
Fastest fingers,I don win Una today...hehehe
My first time of winning shoki here!
*dancing shoki aahn*
πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ πŸ’ƒ

Jasmine said...

Lol. Abeg leave me jare. This babe wants to waste her youthful years o.

Baby Oku said...

Another stupid comemnt.. what the hell is u paid him back with ur body? @angelray4sdk.

Damn I can't believe most of u still reason this way. So in a relationship it's only one person dat enjoys sex? Smh. So in a relationship sex is a form of payment from the girl? Goooosh.. I dey shame for Una.

Jasmine said...

Nah, don't say that. She's not desperate. She feels like she owes him her life coz he helped her out of depression not knowing God used the guy to help her. Move on woman

Jasmine said...

Free yourself. Open ur mind and date other people. You should count yourself lucky coz some guys will come back for every penny they've ever given to u immediately their business crumble.

He is not even emotionally stable and doesn't know what he wants. Let him go.

Bukipreety said...

It's better you move on, you can't love out of pity because someone has helped you before.

Justyswt said...

Poster, pls move on. The guy is not into u anymore.

Stella if the chronicle file is empty, that means bvs are beginning to yield to advice given here nau. Hehe.

Zinny Chocolate said...

Move on already dear. He's probably in love with the other girl. Just let it go. What is yours will come. Take heart

Ebony Doc said...

LMAO @ writing a book nobody will buy

Sexy-Triple-A said...

poster, I understand what you are going through. You are not desperate, you are in love.sometimes the heart wants what doesn't want it. In all, u have to be strong and delete him from your mind and your life completely. He isn't the one for you. Your own man is on the way. Just exercise a little patience. May the Lord be your guide.

Anonymous said...

Poster you don't owe that guy anything. As a matter of fact while you thought he was helping you, he was helping himself with you. Leave him where he is, that's where he belongs!
Move on and open your heart to be happy!! All the best sweet.

MrsBee

Nonye Inspired (James Bond's Girl) said...

Wow the deed has been done, you ve gotta let him go..he has so many demons and you cant fight them all for him, it will drain you. dear you deserve a love that will reciprocate yours and you will be fine...

Best Of luck , finding true love and also redefine what you want and besides am 27 too so stop working yourself out , get married cos u are ready not cos of ur friends..

Anonymous said...

Since my ex left me, I have never really been happy and it's over 6months.

Wild Rose said...

Poster, pls heed to Stella's advice. Accept it that God used him to get you out of depression and you in return extend a helping hand to another. There are lots of pple going through pains that need someone to talk to.
Secondly, there is a Yoruba proverb that says ' don't use another person time to plan your life'. That your friends are married with kids now doesn't guarantee that if you get married now it would be rosy. Pls, be calm and it shall be well with you.

@Atheist... Lol. Pls no vex, you can try out the other shortlisted names. No let someone pour sand inside another person gari...

Anonymous said...

Please let him go. I wasted my time on a guy for 12yrs.Now I am still single and over 40. He is also still single but has kids from different women.If I had known, I wouldn't have even dated him now I'm so lonely and sad. Just trusting God for a miracle.

Brown Sucre said...

@Athiest,just free her,its good you passed it forward.
Poster- please move on,JESUS died for the whole of mankind,and some people still don't want him in their lives,God will bring you someone who will love and treat you the way you should be treated.
God doesn't want to be replaced.

xxxTrinityxxx said...

@atheist na wa oh.that bv is foolish im sorry.God sends helpers.believers or not.he uses different people in our lives.she just missed her own Christmas blessing now all in the name of christan child.even the bible said we shoukdnt be foolish.

Adanne said...

Lady, please if the guy you are dating has 'akata' as baby mama, please run for your dear life, the drama will never end. Is only akata that hooks a man with pregnancy in this obodo oyibo, and still feels she's the boss.

I love that you are honest@am desperate, but trade with caution honey.

Anonymous said...

1k likes to your comment

A'isha B said...

Wait a minute! Who says it is mandatory to date this guy before you can help? Not all dates leads to marriage likewise not all marriages started on the foundation of dating. My point is, you guys can still be good friends, you can still lend him a shoulder to cry on and not a chest to rest on cos you have your own life to live regardless. If he won't be a distraction to your moving on in life pls be a friend in need, work on yourself, relax for a short while to build your self again and go straight into a more healthy relationship cos time wait for no one, 30 is just around the corner sister. *hugs*

Hadey Halaba said...

@Atheist
U've done your bit.... Obviously, she is one girl with a fixed mindset...... Its her choice jare.

But, I see mtn, Glo, airtel but no ETISALAT. pls balance the equation.

Anonymous said...

Atheist, biko be my santa na!!! Ngwa holla if I should send my digits. Dear Santa, I've been good this season

Hadey Halaba said...

Traditional marriage belongs to the brides parent.

If your parent are in Lagos, what is travelling up & down fetching you?

Its up to your parents abeg

Lagos shopper(for your personal shoppings and goods directly from the popular lagos markets to anywhere in naija,07030493148) said...

Toh.............!

Anonymous said...

This is what I want to get into next year.hmmmm

Anonymous said...

Pls dont ask her not to come,life is funny you may end up needing her help tomorrow,just pray about it and she will leave on her own,but if she is selfish and wicked you can ask her to go

Nkylorah said...

Poster,kindly forget about that guy. I know it will be difficult,but please try. Don't let the fact that your friends are all married with children lead you into something you will later regret. Pray to God for Divine connection.

Anonymous? Lol said...

Epitome of principle! Atheist that girl will go far in life. Pls send her number codedly to me. Very rare girl!

Hadey Halaba said...

Angel Ray soooo dumb to have reduced girls to sex machines/sex slaves.

Anonymous said...

I thought Stella said the book solution out

Anonymous said...

God will send ur boo love! Stay strong and positive. Do the snm for mature people. Be more outgoing. Make more friends and build your confidence. Most importantly, fall in love with Jesus Christ and all other things will be added on to you.

Amacastel said...

Stood ur ground with ur parents ur trad will be done in ur village don't allow ur mum in-law decitate what Happens in ur marriage unless u want to be a maid baby making machine wife.

Anonymous said...

Poster, let's be friends. I like your honesty. I'm female and no, not a lesbian Biko. But I'm in the states. If you are interested, please send a message to Stella tomorrow. I like your grateful spirit too. My advice to you is to move on. God sees your heart, he sees that you are genuinely grateful. Like Stella rightfully said, you can't help someone who doesn't need your help. Sometimes, God uses people to bless/help us, and we don't necessarily have to pay it back to that one person, but we can always pay it forward to the next person if we have the opportunity.
I wish you all the absolute best though. Keep shining, you are a star!

Amacastel said...

Poster the guy is not mentally sound trust me he is hysterical πŸƒ πŸƒ πŸƒ πŸƒ in fact ✈ ✈ ✈ away from him b4 he Decide to kill you 1day. From ur post the sign is clear of mental health imbalance on the guy.

Anonymous said...

Baby oku, it's either we are reading two different comments, or you just have a black heart. I don't see where the commenter wrote about her inlaws being Yoruba. You do realize that even in the Yoruba tradition, the traditional wedding is held at the wife's home right? Stop thinking with your ass really, and while at it, quite being so myopic

Anonymous said...

Madame poster. The greatest happiness you can ever have is the one you find within. You sound too clingy already. Please stop it. He's gone be say he's gone. Instead of wasting your energy and being overly desperate. Take out time and work on your English. Seriously it's pathetic. And also your writing skills okay. You will do just fine. Trust God. #Phenomenal Woman said so#

Tilly said...

Atheist she doesn't know that when God wants to bless someone, even the devil will bow to His will

Zubby Gabriel said...

You have to move on dear. Better things are ahead.

Meadow - TBF said...

Abeg make I perch here. There is a possibility that the Asian girl is rich and he is getting money from her. If not why would he be bold enough to tell his mom (i'm sure she supports him). If not most naija mom will not allow it. Asian ke?

Ronalda. said...

My darling, I thought gold was all that and a bag of chips until I got my 1st diamond pendant. You feel he is the best thing that ever happened to you, perhaps he is or was, but honey, your life is yet to begin. You may feel like he is the best but trust me, with all I just read, he doesn't even come close to what "the best" should be.

I remember something my Nana, God rest her soul, used to tell me while I was still a little girl, "make sure you be with a man who looks at your face before he makes any decision". It took me a while to understand exactly what those words mean. A man who doesn't consider your feelings before he makes certain decisions, isn't  a man worth fighting for and a man worth fighting for would never put his lady in a position where she has to fight for him in the 1st place.

Honey, please don't get me wrong, I'm sure he is an amazing guy and stood by you ‎when you were at your lowest. He was like a rock, a solid support system who dragged you from the edge of depression. Does that mean you should mortgage your future happiness because you want to play the same role to him? Can't you see he doesn't want you in his life the way you want him in yours? You can't force your way into a heart that clearly beats for someone else, you will only end up abusing yourself emotionally.

I'm super proud of you that you know to walk away without being told. It's not easy, especially since you still love him, you're still very fragile and vulnerable. He can easily crawl back into your life with an emotional apology which may come back to haunt you years later when he moves on to another or when you see a man who ought to be the best guy for you but some other lucky gal has whisked him away and you are stuck in a quagmire called a "marriage".

For any relationship to work, there must be compromises but not to the detriment of either party. You can't possibly give up the chance of being a joyful mother of kids because you want to hang on to a man who has 1 kid, that you know of, and does want more. Honey, you are JUST 27 for goodness sake! Don't sell yourself short. You can have a man who will worship and adore you but you must believe you deserve it and don't settle for less just because you feel you are running out of time. You did good letting him go, hopefully the best man for you will locate you before your ex decides to come back to you. That way, the decision will be yours. You will have options and not just marrying a man because he was the only one who proposed or was available.‎

#e-bearhugs.‎

Anonymous said...

@Atheist, pay no mind to the sanctimonious being. Trying to be more Christlike than Christ,No?
Na her type go still go meet God begin complain of lack of favor when na she by herself reject the favour wey come for her.

People,try not to wallow in 'religious stupidity'.

Anonymous said...

I don't know but this story sound like my baby daddy.....we dated for a year though and parted because he doesn't know what he want....
My dear, just move on , some guys are confirmed bachelor, not ready to commit to anyone . Babies and marriage scared them off ...,.i know it's really hard but You deserved better dear. It might sound selfish but you have to love yourself first for now

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