Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Service Year Boulevard 12

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Thursday, 8 December 2016

Service Year Boulevard 12

Funny.....



This is my nysc boulevard and it is a mixture of everything.


Hailings Aunty stells...I am feeling good today so I want to type plenty. ‎ Regular BV but on anonymous mode.

One good Wednesday like that in November 2013, we all gathered at school waiting to collect our call ups, everybody already expecting to be posted to where they have worked it to..(as if naso life be).
It finally got to my turn and I received my letter, went outside to open it and instead of seeing abuja, I saw Abia. Oboy, this was not the plan oh. I checked to see if it was a mistake, whether there wanted spelling abuja but mistakenly put Abia only to see those posted to Abuja was written as FCT. 


Honestly I cried in my dream, who Abia don epp? Thursday passed, Friday passed, nothing. My parents was just looking at me telling me it is the will of God.


Since camp was the coming Tuesday and it wasn't looking possible to do anything, I just resigned my fate to abia.


Monday came and I was ready to trave‎l to my Abia when my mum said I should chill, that I don't have faith at all. (naso I give myself faith oh) by evening, mama came back, gave me another call up letter and it has been switched to FCT but I was to camp in keffi.. come see smiles now..


Tuesday came, I called those I know going to camp in keffi and they were shocked to see thinking I should be in Abia...after I gave them the story, we foolishly went to drink before going to camp. Getting to camp, see queue of life.
After getting passed the 1st stage where those soldiers will catch cruise on you by making you carry your bag on your head to march. Thought that was the end only to get to another massive queue again. There and then I knew it was foolish not to have been here early enough but as a warri boy wey oil full the head, I just walked straight to the front with plenty people looking at me like who is this one.


 I met with the NYSC officer in charge of the screening, gave him the envelope I was given from NYSC headquarters. Uncle opened it, saw the content, shaked his head and said you schooled in Abuja and still want to serve in Abuja...me sha no talk make I no enter trouble. That was how I jump all those 1million people on queue, within 3 hours, I already had my bed space and everything set.


The next morning, these soldier guys wanted killing us with all those remove head dress matters, marching and sitting under the sun, to even chyke babe under the sun na war. Sharply I was made the captain of my platoon as per football and I saw 1 empty pack of malaria medicine which I picked and stored under my pillow...so any day those uncles on green do gra gra...I just show them my malaria pack, but some na wizard, if you like show them you have AIDS, you will still go out for morning parade...


Finally morning parade became fun, I had one crazy babey in the next platoon that always rub her banku on my Bros . Chai, this babey wan kill me, all those their lectures NYSC wanted to kill us with, babe will just arrange we sit together and we will watch porn all through ( side eyes to who want go George me for Bush)


I made sure I arranged myself before going to camp, material and pocket wise.. only me uses the bathroom in my block cos anytime I go to have my bath, I must kush till my head remove sparks, whoever enters next must complain for their father.


Then the maami story, met some correct bayelsa boys from covenant university, that was how we turned south south crew, we drank every day...we started with JD, red label, money start dey go down, we entered mcdowells, still the devil wanted to play with our fun but we still package, start drink palmy and stout all to get high. 

I became a celeb in camp oh, my platoon got to the final, come see me introducing the nasarawa NYSC coordinator to my teammates as per senior man that I is. Lol


All those their night activities in camp was for those wey no get boo, at night, I ll just take my crazy camp boo to parade ground. (everybody hates the parade ground so it's the most quiet place for parole). Na there we dey check size and pwess bwess


Stells, we flexed camp.. toward the end of camp when it was time to get posting letter, I went to the camp church, pastor talked about how we need to be close to God and how God can make out service year a starting point in our life....plenty stories, he asked us if we want to give our life to christ or we want to rededicate the life to christ to just raise their hand and he will pray for us. I look my life, smell my shirt, (e dy smell stout and weed) looked at babe, she no look me, I just bone raise hand up thinking Bros pastor will just pray and everything will be over. For where, pastor say oya those that raise their hand, stand up..(for my mind, I was telling the pastor, this was not the plan oh)


 I stood up, chair shake, babe look me start laugh, I no talk...pastor just finally kill me, he said all you people standing up, come out to the alter and today the holy spirit ll come upon you and you will speak in the spirit tongue.


I came out sha, saw my maami crew too, I became comfortable, time to speak in tongue reach, for where, Wetin I wan speak, me that cannot speak isoko complete wan speak spirit. I just quietly they beg God to sorry for all my camp doinz. 


After church, all the highness from maami has cleared...what a life, so I jeje went to have my bath and forgot I just gave my life to christ, naso I burn my SK for bathroom, spray perfume for body to disguise only for one busy body boy to go to the bathroom, came back and started shouting "who don go smoke for this bathroom again" my friends just looked at me "Bros but you just repent now now, Wetin happen?


D-day now, I was posted to tetfund in abuja, my repent work for me, service year was cute,......
‎Shout out to all 13C, we will all make it .

If I wasted your time, read it again.


*Seems you lived/live life on the fast lane...I no be Judgina abeg.
please what is SK that you smoked.
Abeg take am easy.




77 comments:

GORRETI BAE said...

Mehn I love dis guy.. His story is just so sweet. Confam waffi, see as he dey chop pidgin like chewing gum

crouchingTigress said...

Mschweww,stopped reading cos u r too 'prouding'.

Loveme Jeje said...

kai which regular blog visitor you be. Stop lying jare.

Enjoyment man. Hope you don repent or you are still taking your SK?

Rocky said...

He has a nice sense of humour. You should work on your written English though, lots of GBAGAUN here and there....

You really had fun in your service year!

Audrey said...

I think SK is weed or so. Poster your camp experience na wa oo, you clearly had fun sha.

STAY AT HOME DAUGHTER said...

I was enjoying the story till I got to the smoking part I just give up. Smoking whatever is one thing, but why people see it as normal and go as far as celebrating it that one I don't get and will never Understand.

Na Me Talk Am!!! said...

I don't understand, how can you smoke skunk in an environment flowing with soldiers

Anonymous said...

Full meaning of Sk is *****, no be my mouth u go hear say teacher's mum don die..
Nice one bro.

Hidee(I.D)

AbaMade said...

Whatever, boy oh boy syndrome

KIDJO said...

Hahahahahaha...I enjoyed this your story wallahi fa. πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†.No dulling at all.πŸ‘

nnuku Sexy pant-like boxers. 08170506432 Order now said...

The smell of Sk.. Heheeehe. Oo strong!

James' hater said...

Sk na igbo, wow tetfund? You must be connected to go there. Too much money dey there

marriedchick said...

interesting read... hope u Re fully repented now oo

peace maker said...

OK.noted

Uniq Gem said...

Very funny sombori😁😁😁


Seems you be VIP o. Thank God for you.

Fluffy cake by Big Mamma Lagos 07056157039 said...

This poster sound like KELVIN Stella's adopted cousin.

3Dview said...

SK is weed stella. This boy (yes I called up boy) is a nonsense and senseless mummy's boy. After ur papa pay ur school fees and ur mama do last minute NYSC runz for u na foolishness u go do for camp.
This life isn't fairon, some people don't have the privileges u have and can sell an eye to have ur life and u r wasting it on weed, alcohol and porn watching girls. Is wa

T.I said...

Oil dey ur head bros...

Swiss said...

Forgive my ignorance, people that have served or serving what's the meaning of Mami, is like a market or restaurant in camp?

TRIUMPHANT ZION said...

You know dear,I am not going to judge you I will tell you some truth. Jesus loves you and has forgiven all your sins if you will repent but if you choose to boast in iniquity as you just did above,remember God cannot be mocked,oh yes dear,the joke is on you because the words of God you know and heard the devil will always accuse you with on that day.
To know God is gain,all the Lord wants from you is your love,and then He will take care of your weaknesses.let your boast be in the Lord,stop letting the devil deceive you,he only wants you to remain a slave of sin and that is why he deceived you into making mockery of your repentance. Shake off the devil's hold on you today and return now to God and our Lord Jesus is still with arms opened wide to receive you back now that there is still time.

I love you and Jesus loves you and I know so many saints are praying for you.

Christy Odoo said...

Wow, u flexed ooo...
Can't wait to serve my fatherland

stunning slim shady said...

Hmmm what a boy... And na person future hubby b ds ooooo..... See how u wan reet d destiny of ur liver with SK n all sorts of drinks... Mschew... Namsense

Becky Divine said...

Hohohoho this guy funny die! You flexed camp sha lol

miss maverick said...

finally got my blog id, welcome your queen bvees, welcome her. pay homage, obeisance. I'm here to bring sanity and decorum back to this esteemed blog. henceforth y'all got me to answer to, be warned...(laughs hysterically outta post)

Kokomma said...

Guy you really cracked me up, chai I gbadu u, finally a guy gets to send his, this is the most hilarious I've read

Anonymous said...

3Dview you really take this thing personal o. Life is not that serious, really.

Anonymous said...

stella abeg post my own SYB na, i don mail am to you since yesterday

T.I said...

Stella....sk is Skunk..weed senior brother....with different kinda mixtures...

Anonymous said...

I love your gist.πŸ‘Š πŸ‘Š πŸ‘Š.I lyk your type.But without mouth odor.

Anonymous said...

Stop judging.Live a little cos you only live once.Life isn't so serious.

Anonymous said...

SK is skunk....it's milder than weed. It makes you feel alright and slow in a good way lol. I love your gist man...your humor is on point. Goan do kidney function test sha lol

Anonymous said...

anybody wea no lyk kush mak him jump enta riva benue..smoke ma sk in a C class..ur stil on foot...#team sk..#TMT

Audrey said...

It's a mini market inside camp, where you get to buy some basic things needed in camp and you also buy food and drinks if you can't eat the one served in the camp cafeteria.

Eunice Imo said...

Exactly

pweti said...

Lol, funny guy

Miss Ferragamo said...

Wetin proud for that story☝? World people!

Miss Ferragamo said...

But Kelvin fat na,the poster go slim well well

Anonymous said...

Past tense of "shake" is "shook"....
Keep 'sk-ing'.. last last, na your life!

Rex said...

hahahahaha Oil really dey your head my delta brother..I Crave Education, I won go school too and service.

Anonymous said...

this is one of the funniest post i have read on these blog....you made my afternoon, Thank you

classywithahintof_sassy Diana said...

Is a market and also has resturants, everything u need in the camp is been sold there.

Chiamaka L said...

This is what I call "wasted effort" your mum obviously thought she was raising you right by getting you all you want/ed. If mothers can only see the horrible husbands their pet-sons make and the terrible fathers their decision caused, I am certain some will take a step back 5X5. See this one now, glorying in his foolishness, I am not perfect either but I cannot glory in my stupidity.
Mothers please train your sons same way you train you daughters and more importantly, Train your kids such that you will be proud of the husband/ fathers they become

Anonymous said...

my bf smokes weed b4 & after sex and always wants me to join him to smoke but i always refuse bcos i see it as something that would hurt the health,so i always preach to him abt it but he wont listen, well one day he was smoking d weed @d same time sucking my nipples,kissing me,touching me & it felt so good,he took me to cloud9 & by d time he entered me with he's hard penis I lost control,I wasn't myself anymore,I rode on him,facing him,he put the weed in my mouth,I drew it in,ohh my gawd!! I was in heaven,I went wild,i fucked him harder,I loved it...hehehe but after everything I didn't want to admit it felt so sweet cos I didn't want to continue taking weed..lol its a crazy world...but I want to leave him bcos he doesn't seem serious to commit,or i might just get a planb bf.asides dat he's the neatest clean guy I have ever dated,u will never know he smokes weed & responsible,he's doesn't sleep around

KIDJO said...

😞😞😞

Shey said...

Issorait. God still dey wait make you repent true true

Change your story with just N1,000. Click my name for more

Bootymissy said...

Every mallam to him kettle
3Dview calm down now..life isn't so hard....Oga poster weldone o hope u got your shit togteher now?✌

Anonymous said...

It's d higher grade of igbo...

BluntChic said...

Bros your mouth odour no go be here o.

The Chardinal said...

Flexing officer.

kiri said...

Plenty one bros

kiri said...

Aunty, not everybody can be as good as you.

kiri said...

Chop knuckles

kiri said...

3Dview, abeg no vex. I am grateful you no be God.. life isn't fair on some people... life is fair and you see people with different challenges here...aunty/bros calm down

kiri said...

Thank you

kiri said...

No mouth odour

Anonymous said...

I was in Nasarawa 09C.

kiri said...

Why not...it was nysc, not my life story.

NAKPOZIE said...

I didn't read half way to know its mi guy.... You no yan say i preach for you taya ko and you forget to declare say you become task force before you wak? I go kash U!

You also forget to yan say ur mile kash you when you dey wine one chikito self, hmmmmmm Papi.

To whom it may concern,
He is not 1/2 "prouding", his humility, way out of this world and mi guy can understand die.

Stells babu fast lane ooo, if it was so, guy for don cast after TETFUND.

And Mi PAPI has been on this blog for straight 4yrs cos i was the one who carried his ass here.

No come do oral things for my comment here oo, cos me too can worry die

THELMA'S CAKE WORLD said...

You obviously had fun but in a RECKLESS way...

Anonymous said...

Did u read where he wrote read again, 3D go and read again.
Peeps like you will want to die on top his matter when you see him. SHM 4u

LOLLAH said...

Huh????

SONYES SIGNATURE said...

Ok

Nakpozie said...

@Chiamaka in your bid to sound intelligent you just acted stupid,foolish and above all irritating.
When next you want to dish advise,never get parents involved when you don't know the effort they have invested on there kid.
By the way, do you know if he still smokes?
Do you know the effort his parents have Invested on the negative habit.
Do you know if his parents and singlings read this blog?
Next time you wanna act a hero, respect all angles before you vent your stupidness.
Ewu meeeel

Anonymous said...

Where and where? Shhh

Anonymous said...

And kelvin don write before

Anonymous said...

Well done o
By the time your eyes go clear, it might be too late
Na craze go greet you
My only brother almost went mad cos of weed
Na God save us

lollipop said...

awon gwags boys. *abuja students will relate

Jane Moore said...

Yes lots. Poster i need connection to tetfund abuja. Im a very pretty girl so dont worry. Hehhehehe

Anonymous said...

@ rocky 4get that thing oh. English had waffi man oh. Bros verndo, see u grove d place wella.

Elastic said...

Bro I love your story...no time to look uche face. But I hope you have stopped smoking for your health.

I'd like to buy you a bottle of beer.

#DontQuoteMe#

Anonymous said...

Kiri or the writer of the SYB up there.I like you.drop your details.

Rose said...

I enjoyed this story well. People can't even see the funny in this. Na wa for una o. No so times hard? Make una take chill pill biko.

crouchingTigress said...

Hahaha,guess he lived in Omoye complex cos na them dey behave like this.

kay elsie said...

Stellz sk na dat deir small weed wen dem dey wrap 4small white paper,dey roll n wrap it,use tongue to gum it,heehehhehehe

kay elsie said...

Interesting story,judginas I repeat u must not comment on Evry post, life isn't dat serz,som peeps post stories so we can laugh,some 4us 2learn,odas 4us 2relax,bt judginas wudnt let us do any of Dese, life isn't dat serz ooo,take a glass of water,open d chill pill and take one tablet,if u stil feel agitated to type nonsense,take anoda one,if u stil av d urge to spew nansense,take d whole satchet,i'm sure by den u will feel beta

kiri said...

Looool, I see my omoye peeps here...all these coded tigress.

queenette Okeke said...

Ebonyi camp is sooo fun, I made so many new friends, My OBS family is the most amazing. I love me some, Grace, Nora, Gideon, Ifeanyi, Soma, Folarin, Bony, Chucks, Kachi and everybody, I love you guys plenty

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