Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sunday In House Gists...

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Sunday, December 18, 2016

Sunday In House Gists...

According to BV Beloved who compiled yesterdays winners,she said there was no winner because the competition was tight...






She will be scanning through today's jokes again for the winner who will be gifted with N1500 recharge card of their choice.

Please if you are taking part,try to avoid the Anonymous mode because you cannot claim any gift with it.

If your joke is copied or original,please indicate so.

Now let's see you try to make me laugh...Kwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa!


78 comments:

  1. Lmao
    Also laugh or vote with an id

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

      Delete
    2. Owk Stella see what I've got
      GIRL: i have sinned; i called my boyfriend a bastard.
      PASTOR: So wat did he do to deserve dat?
      GIRL: He kissed me.
      PASTOR: You mean like this? The pastor kissed the girl.
      GIRL: Yes!
      PASTOR: Well, dats no reason to call him a bastard.
      GIRL: But he touched my breast.
      PASTOR: U mean like this? The pastor touched her breast.
      GIRL: Yes!
      PASTOR: Thats no reason to call him a bastard.
      GIRL: But, he took off my clothes and had sex with me!
      PASTOR: You mean like this? The pastor took off her clothes and had sex with the girl.
      GIRL: Yes
      PASTOR: Well, thats also no reason to call him a bastard.
      GIRL: Then he told me he has AIDS.
      PASTOR: U are a BASTAAAARD!!

      Delete
    3. Earlier this year, I attended one singles program with my friend. The speaker was talking about personal hygiene. We were asked to mix up for easy interaction and that was how this girl with a terrible mouth odour came to sit between my friend and I. She kept making faces when the speaker was talking about mouth odour and body odour, saying 'ewwww' and 'yuck!' like one tush babe. My friend was just giving me side eyes. During group discussion, she kept going on and on about how she was a neat freak and cannot stand people with M O or B O so my friend asked her if it's possible for someone with with M O to be unaware of it. She rolled her eyes and asked 'shey the person is a corpse ni that he will not know his mouth is oozing' my friend started laughing and told her point blank 'babe your mouth dey smell!! The babe never uttered a word till we left there. #original



      miss Aboki

      Delete
    4. No need to put a pastor in line of sex talk all in the name of a joke ... You could have used a teacher etc

      Delete
    5. ...Boy drops girl at home, he puts his
      hand on the wall by the gate for support, leans
      towards her.
      BOY : Can I kiss you?
      GIRL: Not now, I'm at home.
      BOY : Pleaseeeeeeeee!
      GIRL: No.
      BOY : You were too sweet in bed today.
      GIRL: Woooow! You too, full of energy. I could not believe we did it four times!
      BOY : Let me kiss you good night.
      GIRL: Someone may be watching, they still think
      I'm a virgin at home.
      ....
      This goes on for ten minutes, then the girl's brother appears at the gate and says "Dad says
      whether you kiss him or not, it's your decision, but tell that bastard to remove his hand from the intercom button, everyone in the house is listening to your conversation and
      you've disturbed the prayer session................ πŸ˜³πŸ˜³πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
      #Copied

      Delete
    6. Hmmmn...on a Friday afternoon, we gathered in church waiting for the bus that would convey us to RCCG camp. I was getting hungry so I brought out a bunch of ripe banana and ate about 8. I had rich tea biscuits in my bag. On getting to camp, I bought pepsi to wash down my biscuits. Na there wahala start! My tummy started rumbling and I became uncomfortable. I was releasing terrific gas silently which would smell for about 5minutes non stop. Chai!!!! The pressure became so heavy I could not control infact it got to a point fear begin catch me cos it was smelling like dead rat. The last one I released ehhh! People disappeared from my side and I just sat there, closed my legs tightly so that the smell won't escape but e no gree. Even my church members that we sat together all ran away. I was so ashamed, felt like the ground should open up at that moment. That was how I said goodbye to banana!

      Delete
    7. Why not a pastor? Is it not just a profession.

      Delete
  2. Oya let the lie lie gists begin.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oya bring it on guys, want to laff nd tear my pant

    ReplyDelete
  4. Riddle!Riddle!Riddle,
    I am three alphabets, I disappeared with people's money b4 25th Dec. What am I?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Villager, Elastic and Adeniji Bisi aka mc pinky, oya make una show. Make this thread lively mbok.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She
    said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I
    said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She
    means 666-3629."

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hungry and Broke
    There were three men living together in London. An Afro-American,
    a West Indian and a Nigerian. They were all starving because they
    didn't have money to buy food.
    However upon coming close to a posh London restaurant in this
    classy neighbourhood, they decided to come up with a plan.
    The Afro-American went in first. After being seated, he ordered a
    three course meal with white wine. When he had finished the meal,
    the waiter came by with the bill. "LISTEN MY MAN, I ALREADY
    PAID YOU!" - the Afro-American shouted! The waiter was very
    confused because he could not remember being paid. But because
    he did not want to cause any trouble, he let the brother leave.
    Five minutes later, the West Indian walked into the same restaurant
    and ordered a five course meal with red wine. When he was
    finished eating, the waiter came by to collect the money for the
    food. "HEY, HEY, LOOK AT ME CROSSES. BUT AH PAID YOU
    ALREADY!" - the West Indian shouted. This time the manager came
    and had to calm down the West Indian, because he did not want
    anything to upset the other customers. He let the guy go.
    Ten minutes later, the Nigerian walked in. And you know how we
    are. He sat down. Lit up a cigarette, and ordered the most
    expensive meal on the menu, plus two bottles of Beer. After he had
    finished, the waiter came to collect the money for the meal, But
    before the Nigerian could say anything, the waiter spoke to
    him."Sir, I have been having all sorts of problems all day and I
    can't understand it. Two other people like you came in earlier and
    ate, and they say that they paid me but I don't remember getting
    any money from them so, " Before he could finish, the Nigerian
    interrupted, rather emphatically, "OGA I SORRY FOR YOU OOOO.
    BUT DAT NA YOUR PROBLEM. I JUST WANT YOU TO GIVE ME MY
    CHANGE!!"
    #copied

    ReplyDelete
  8. My dear friends please I have come again with
    my wahala this Sunday afternoon ooooooo.
    Abeg make una help me with this matter oh: My
    wife insulted me this morning that I can't make
    common PAP (Akamu).
    I got intimidated and made a bet, of 50k with her
    that I can even do it more than her (haba, what
    sef, my wife own too much).
    Anyway, now I'm in the market shopping for the
    ingredients to prove that I can make the best
    PAP.
    I have bought crayfish, pepper, tomatoes, onions,
    corn, garlic, ginger, nutmeg, maggi and some
    other ingredients for the akamu.
    But my mind keeps telling me that I'm missing
    something.
    Please, make una help me, which ingredient I
    never buy?
    Waiting for your respective suggestions as I don't
    want her to win the bet.




    copied! bv beloved u no say I love u wink!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ma sister E remain garbage

      Delete
    2. Join mutton, beef, turkey, chicken, and take off the corn and nutmegπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    3. Salt is the ingredient missing.

      How is your husband bonario nnags?

      Delete
  9. "JENIFA'S DIARY BE LIKE"
    Toyo: Why are you crying?
    Jenifa: Toyo, why I no go
    cried? wen na only bad luck
    juz dey follow pezin h'up and
    down. From Home safis,to
    Nicki'O, to Tina's place, yet
    notin notin Now wer I say make
    I put my hand for dis MMM, dem
    come dey told me eyaff
    "Freezened"now I am broklein
    Toyo: Jenifa, it's "Freeze"not "Freezened"
    Jenifa: WO! Toyo, fi mi le o...
    every time u go dey coresion pezin.
    WO! MMM shud not tried me o..if
    not, I go juz brokage pezin head......... #copied
    Happy sunday people

    ReplyDelete
  10. The American police style: Investigate he’s a
    thief till you find an evidence to catch him.
    The China police style: Chase the thief till he
    gets tired, then you catch him.
    The Arab police style: Kidnap the thief’s wife
    and threaten the thief to surrender.
    The Indian police style: Allow a pretty
    damsel sing for him to lure him closer, then
    you catch him.
    The Nigerian police style: Catch any person
    on the street, beat him until he agrees he is
    a Thief.
    copiee

    ReplyDelete
  11. Telephone Conversation between a Yahoo
    Yahoo boy and potential Maga (Akpos)
    Phone Rings…
    Akpos: Hello? Who am I speaking with
    Please?
    Yahoo boy: Ah, don’t you know who is
    calling?
    Akpos: No I don’t, the number is restricted.
    Yahoo boy: How is Nigeria?
    Akpos: Nigeria is fine but who am I speaking
    with?
    Yahoo boy: It’s your friend from London.
    Akpos: I have a couple of friends in London
    which of them is this?
    Yahoo boy: Just guess.
    Akpos: Em…, is it Fatai?
    Yahoo boy: Yes! It’s me Fatai!
    Akpos: Ah! Fatai! Looong time no see, how
    now? How is London?
    Yahoo boy: London is fine, how is Nigeria?
    Akpos: Nigeria dey there o, the usual wahala,
    Ehen! The other day I saw your mother, she
    is very sick o, that was two weeks ago, I am
    sure she should be dead by now….
    Yahoo boy: Ah!
    Akpos: Yes o, your father’s house in the
    village rain-storm blew away the roof and it
    landed on the old mans legs and shattered
    them, he is at Ogwa presently ……
    Yahoo boy: Shuuooooo:O!
    Akpos: ….yes o, the bone mender says it will
    not heal because he has diabetes, later they
    said tetanus has entered already, the man is
    quarter to go, your younger brother went to
    smoke Igbo with those bad boys and since
    then the guy kolo, he is in Uselu psychiatric
    now, your elder brother went to a burial at
    Ugbegunebudin he went to drink anyhow
    there, they nack am epilepsy there, he is just
    falling every time …..
    Yahoo boy: Haaaaa!!!!!
    Akpos: …wait o, there is more, your sister
    carry belle, e go do aborti ….
    Yahoo boy: You wait! E don do for you! I
    reject everything you say in Jesus name!
    Those things will never happen to me….
    Akpos: Ah! Is this not Fatai, they have
    already happened …
    Yahoo boy: I am not Fatai, you idiot, na God
    go punish u.
    Akpos: Na devil go solder ur yash, no go find
    work bloody thief! 419…wait make I burn
    your credit small, idiot!

    copied!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahaha oh my ribs ooooo
      πŸ˜€πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜„πŸ˜…πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚

      Delete
  12. You'll agree the economy is bad when Thieves break in
    ur house, Sit down, make Eba, warm soup, Eat & then
    steal ur remaining Kerosene

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hello everyone I want to ask a question...
    If Selena eat too much beans, abeg wetin go happen?



    Answer: Selena Gomez


    Talk true you laugh....kwakwakwakwakwa

    Note: in case I win,I've been trying to get a blog ID not coming through at all.
    Bv saint...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol anon 14:47 you no well o

      Delete
  14. man on a beach was deep in prayer.
    Suddenly, the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming
    voice, the Lord said,
    “Because you have been faithful to me in all
    ways, I will grant you one wish.”
    The man said, “Build a bridge from Lagos to Onitsha so I
    can drive over anytime I
    want.”
    The Lord said, “Your request is very materialistic. Think of
    the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The
    supports required to reach the bottom! The concrete and
    steel it would take! It will
    nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it
    is hard for me to justify your
    desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of
    something better”
    The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said,
    “Lord, I wish that I could
    understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside,
    what she’s thinking when
    she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she
    means when she says nothing wrong, and how I can make
    a woman truly happy.”
    The Lord replied, “how many lanes do you want on that
    bridge?” #copied#

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't have a joke but I need the card. Isn't it funny?

    Hahahaha OMG I am so funny!.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very funny i can't find my ribsπŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

      Delete
  16. THE POWER OF WEED.
    Five people went in the bush to smoke weed
    ,, they smoked from morning till around 13hrs..
    At that time,, they had no matches so they sent one guy to
    go and find some fire in the
    bush...
    he went round the bush and came to the same group,,
    he asked if they had fire,, they said we have sent our friend
    to look for fire and if you do not mind, you can wait and
    once he comes back, we will give some,,, that is how he
    also started waiting again... not knowing he was
    waiting for himself.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Please guys crack my ribs. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yesterday I took my shoes to the shoe
    repairer, today I met him wearing them. I
    asked him why and he told me they were
    on road test.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Since MMM took the stage. We've
    been hearing about a whole lot
    of similar schemes now; zarfund,
    crowdrising, giversfor bjum,
    ultimatecycler, icharity, helping
    hands etc. But, I want to
    introduce you guys to the best
    pyramid scheme !
    HUNGERCURE
    Register with 1 cup of garri and
    get matched with 2 people who
    will donate soup and fufu to you
    in 3hrs.
    Join us today and say NO to
    hunger.
    It works ..i no longer cook at
    home ..thank you hungercure
    If your refer someone you get
    goat meat included in your soup
    (the more people you invite the
    more goat meat you get

    ReplyDelete
  20. A lady told me yesterday that her best and favourite Fruit is Yam

    ReplyDelete
  21. *REASON WHY SOME IGBO PEOPLE DON'T GREET ELDERS IN THEIR VILLAGE...*

    *Just greet an old woman and she will tell you the story of your generation like;*

    Morning Nwam, Bia, Is this not Okechukwu the son of Ebube, the man who raped two girls before getting married to Obiageli the daughter of the
    wine tapper who fell from a palm tree while staring at the buttocks of Chinonye Juliliana the village famous prostitute who aborted sixteen pregnancies before getting married to Ebuka Okeke the Dibia man from the neighboring village. Is it not your Grandfather that died of madness?
    Nwam, so you have grown so big, Kedu! Are you hearing from Nnamdi ur brother in prison? Dalu!😁😁

    ReplyDelete
  22. I want real love. Not these games your all
    playing.
    I want a girl who would kill herself if I died,
    just to make sure I'm not in heaven talking
    to other women.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I am from a family of six, my mom is a strict disciplinarian. A no-nonsense woman. I always complained that she was too strict and my elder ones tell me that she is now better, they received her first-hand disciplinary skills.
    If you misplace you lunch box in school, the next day you are taking your lunch to school wrapped in a newspaper. And lunch is not snacks o, correct rice and plenty stew or she can decide to be mischievous and give you eba and soup.

    My last born always thought they were lying cos my mom was no longer strict during his time o. A time came and we were all in school( boarding and university) except my baby brother who was still in primary school. He became mischievous, he deliberately cuts his sandals and boasts to his friends that he will get a new one the next day and true to his words my mom buys a new one that same day. He did this on 2 different occasions and got away with it.
    On the 3rd occasion, when my mom saw him walking to the car without his sandals she was fuming but she didn't say anything, she just drove home. My brother was surprised cos my mom usually drove to buy the sandal immediately from school. The next morning he got dressed for school, but he didn't put on his socks(white colour). My mom insisted he put it on o. He wore a slippers and got into the car. She drove straight to school packed at the gate(she usually drives in cos of the long distance from the gate to the classroom),asked him to get down and leave the slippers in car. He was shocked. Immediately he got to his class (she deliberately made hm late so everyone was already in class) everyone got up to see his new sandals and met the shock of their life. No new sandal but a white now turned brown socks. That was the last time he tried cutting his sandal o, he graduated from primary school with the sandal my mom eventually got for him later on.

    He still shares this story anytime anyone doubts what my mom can do.
    MORAL....There are other ways to discipline a child other than hitting him/her.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I went to Redeem church for the first time during their communion service, was really thirsty and hungry. Before I knew it, they ve already started sharing wine and bread..... OMG.... I rushed and gulped the wine without sending anyone and when I dropped the cup, I saw people staring at me like WTH. I didn't get the stare until I heard the pastor announce we should raise our cup to bless the communion....
    Was I ashamed?
    Story for another day.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Just wondering why the Groom sits on the
    right and the Bride at the left. It reminds me of the subject
    Accounting back in school;
    Income on the right and expenses on the
    left.

    ReplyDelete
  26. My neighbor came back drunk and has been knocking on his own door for over one hour calling and shouting his own name to come and open the door I don't know if I should go and tell him that he is the one or just leave him alone.
    #read from Facebook but paraphrased in my own words

    ReplyDelete

  27. You took the girl you want to marry home to see your
    parents and she didn't drink the water she was served
    because the water didn't look clean and she went straight to
    your car to get a bottle water instead, She refused to use the
    shabby-looking toilet your parents are managing because
    she feared infections and also complained so much about
    heat that you had to move into a hotel the next day, but your
    parents got angry over her conduct, convinced you that she
    is not a wife material. You agreed with them and start
    keeping away from her... My brother come close, listen very
    well... YOU NEED SOME MENTAL CHECK UP!!
    You get money to chase woman, buy car and lodge for
    hotel...But you no fit renovate your papa house, at least and
    improve their living standard. Like I said, YOU ARE A
    DISGRACE. A COMPOUND FOOL.
    There is something called STANDARD and you don't expect
    a woman who has planned her life very well and worked so
    much to get to where she is to come and eat shit because
    you wanna marry her...please go home, Charity begins at
    home, my nigga! You have to ask yourself first if you are a
    husband material

    ReplyDelete
  28. if a girl dumps you because you don't have
    money and after you have made money...she
    comes back begging...
    ...Forgive her...promise her
    marriage...Tell her family that you want to
    renovate their house...Remove their roof and
    DISAPPEAR...
    November 1 at 7:52pm · Public

    ReplyDelete
  29. Owk Stella see what I've got
    GIRL: i have sinned; i called my boyfriend a bastard.
    PASTOR: So wat did he do to deserve dat?
    GIRL: He kissed me.
    PASTOR: You mean like this? The pastor kissed the girl.
    GIRL: Yes!
    PASTOR: Well, dats no reason to call him a bastard.
    GIRL: But he touched my breast.
    PASTOR: U mean like this? The pastor touched her breast.
    GIRL: Yes!
    PASTOR: Thats no reason to call him a bastard.
    GIRL: But, he took off my clothes and had sex with me!
    PASTOR: You mean like this? The pastor took off her clothes and had sex with the girl.
    GIRL: Yes
    PASTOR: Well, thats also no reason to call him a bastard.
    GIRL: Then he told me he has AIDS.
    PASTOR: U are a BASTAAAARD!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Buhahaha! Olorun mu pastor yen.

      Delete
    2. @SPIDEX: U got this joke from a comedy skit. It aint yours,inugo. Others who didnt use their original jokes typed "copied". So,why act like you own this! I mean no harm/insult. Just stating d obvious

      Delete
  30. Letter from Sikira of ilorin


    Dear olalekan,
    Longs time no see. If they say is water that will cook fish finish, I will not belif it. Is this how other lofers are behafe to theirself? U haf refus to call me for the past one mont and if I tries your numba, mtn will be say your numba is unriche, is unriche. You refused to fisit me efen when you ear that my father haf contract ghuinea worm. Is this how to threaten your in-laws? I know we haf not marry but I know you her my horseband from heafen. Efridey when I am wake up, you her the first person I sea. Roshida tell me for last weak that she see u with one girl in frontage of Mr big. She efen telled me that you are hug twogether. If you think you can leaf you her a decive yoursef.
    Olalekan, olalekan, olalekan, how many tyme I call you?
    Tiiri abi? It will not be beter for anybody that wan to scatter our middle. Dat is hao I will cause dem efridey.
    Any way the mane purpose of my letter is to tell you that I haf took in for you. I go for testing yesterdey to confarm it.
    My granmar talk that it be like am carrying twins. I haf been fery fery happy since yesterdey. I haf give the twins name o....morufu and morufa. I don't sure if you like it. Come and see me tomorow bcos am fery week now.
    Silifa, my younger sister come home with her boinfrend yesterdey. If you see the boy fery beutifool but not up to you sha, he also get a swagga, I want you to get one too. Let I forget, please don't forget to send the money of the aso-ebi for anti taiba's naming ceremony. The color is red and yelo. Red for the 'buba', and yelo for the 'iro'. They say we can use any color for the 'gele'. But me I want to use blue. I will now were that my blue curf shoe. I cannot wait to send you the photo.
    My lof, ten is happen in this world o. don't say I yam the one that tell you o. I ear that its not anti taiba's horseband that gif her the belle that she use to burn the pregnant. Tru tru the baby is nor resemblance him.
    But what consign me?
    I have tell efribody my boinfrend is a enginia and they are eager to see you.
    Your's frightfully lof
    Sikira bebi
    #copied#

    ReplyDelete
  31. *Menstruation testimony!*

    During church service this 16 year old pastor's daughter stood up n said "praise the Lord" everybody shouted with joy, "hallelujah". She continued: since the age of 13, I 've been experiencing the pain and bleeding every month and it was unbearable. But now, after series of bible studies n prayers with brother Solomon in his house, the monthly period have stopped for more than three months now. No more pain, no more bleeding. U can see I'm even getting fatter n prettier. We r starting to pray seriously about the small problem of vomiting, especially in the morning. Praise the Lord", the whole church was quite! Brother Solomon fainted.
    #copied#

    ReplyDelete
  32. Title: program: tambayoyin ad in Christa
    Caller: Pastor, ina da wani tambaya
    Pastor: Fada mu ji...
    Caller: Ni, ina shan giya, ina shan taba, ina zina, ina sata, da abubuwa da yawa. Idan na mutu
    , zan shiga gidan Ubangiji....?
    Pastor: Ka ce sunan ka wa....?
    Caller: Suna na Amos ne.
    Pastor: Toh Amos... idan wurin Ubangiji gidan ubanka ne, ba sai ka shiga mu gani ba...?
    Copied.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Stellz bae hope this my brainchild meets you well.
    CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO AMEBO MARRIED WOMEN
    1 Woman :( begins conversation) Nne how far nah? How's your family?
    2 Woman: we are fine o my dear sister. Meanwhile my oga will not stop keeping late nights. I wonder who he spends his time with.
    1 woman : well, I know my husband is having an affair with one of these university girls.
    2 woman : you are lucky then.
    1 woman : ( looking surprised)
    2 Woman : yes na, why you looking at me like you just saw a ghost. At least that one will f**k him once or twice fa and go o, she doesn't have intentions of snatching him from you. Some of these girls have their own Bobo by the side dia serious with so you don't have too much of a problem.
    1 Woman : eheh?
    2 Woman : my sister, the ones you should be afraid of are all these secondary school girls o. They can gbensh for Africa. They are young, strong and reliable. Plus they are willing to give them any style at all o. Even if it is snake in the monkey shadow. I can't fit shout. So if you catch any of them near your man, just cut cane like a secondary school teacher and flog the hell out of her. Don't waste time. So that when next she sees a man that old. She will run.
    Both women laughs uncontrollably.

    ReplyDelete
  34. #If you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two minutes ago you should have done something about it*

    ReplyDelete
  35. How To Get Her Number Even When Her Man is Around.

    This tip is short and simple

    We went to a bar where people were gathered eating, drinking and having fun, not too long my eyes caught the attention of a pretty girl but the problem is she came with her man, I would have easily stood up from my seat just to say HI to her, I told my friend about my moves and he was like its a dangerous one since her man was present..

    In split seconds I figure out something, when her man went to the rest room I quickly walked up to the girl, greeted her and she responded, then I began to whisper say "DO YOU KNOW THAT GUY?"

    SHE: yes he's my boyfriend

    ME: "THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THAT GUY I WANT TO TELL YOU, I DON'T WANT HIM TO COME SEE ME TALKING TO YOU, KINDLY GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER SO I CAN GIVE YOU A CALL LATER ITS A SECRET YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW"

    SHE hurriedly gave me her number and that's how we became friends till date.

    You just have to always be smart.

    #DontQuoteMe#

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You dey Lucky the bobo no see u. U fr vomit all the rubbish by force

      Delete
  36. Since Buhari is the most mentioned name in Nigeria dis year, i think Oxford dictionary should consider creating a space for him in the dictionary.
    like
    Buhari:
    /boo-ha-ree/
    nouns: Buhari
    1. hard, hardship, difficult, harsh, tough.
    e.g the economy is now in a Buhari for the masses
    synonyms- onerous, sterous, arduous, grueling, painful, hellish.
    Antonyms: easy, smooth, simple.
    2. to make complete, worse, unbearable.
    e.g "please don't come and Buharificate issues here".
    "they only way to reduce applicants is to Buharify process.
    synonyms- complicate, exacerbate, degenerate.
    Antonyms - Buharify.
    3. terrible, hectic, difficult.
    Synonyms: tough,knotty, thorny.
    Antonyms: fantastic, splendid, pleasant.
    e.g how was your exam?
    it was Buharific πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€


    #copied#

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  37. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  38. The jokes are all copied, why.After you people will be cursing comedians.

    ReplyDelete
  39. I came and saw my neighbors son crying seriously amebo girl I stayed outside watching drama. His son refused going to school hmmm he refused shouting ooooooo. He quietly called the shoe maker and asked the son to come down from the car. When the little boy did he asked the shoe maker to hand over his box and ordered his son to start knacking the wood shouting sew your shoes. I no fit shout ooooo. The papa say him go go him school tell the teachers not to bother asking after him as him don dey learn handwork. No more school as he doesn't want to go to school anymore. He is now a shoe maker and if he improves he will become a cobbler.The boy carry the thing in tears shouting sew your shoes. The papa say no more school so don't bother yourself again as you had decided not to go to school. Then turned to aboki oga abeg if una finish work today help me bring him home OK. From what you made today he will buy food for you. He drove off. See tears now e fit full ocean. I no fit laugh again I come dey pity for the boy. After 5mins the papa come back come ask am if he still wants to go to school see shouting yes daddy I will go to school. Plss daddy I will be a good boy. The papa no laughing told him to enter the car and they drove off.

    ReplyDelete
  40. When I see couples fight screaming on top of their voice crying and defending themselves. E dey pain me...me I don't ve strength to be doing plenty arguments. Lord knows, if my bf annoys me I wont fight him nor argue. I will just eat suya with plenty plenty pepper! Get sexy and give him a billie jean
    Shikena
    #copied#

    ReplyDelete
  41. That Awkward Moment In Church When Your Pastor Says; “All Virgins Come Out For Prayers And Your Parents Begin To Stare At You...”

    ReplyDelete

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