Ewoooo,Recession has affected the Laughs this Sunday!
JOKE 1During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.
When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"
This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!
When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."
The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"
This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!
After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.
This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!
The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."
This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.
The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"
This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"
The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.
This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!
So who are the real robbers here?
Scene I. A man driving clean car around Yaba, Lagos, was stopped @ police checkpoint.
Man:Good day Officers
Police: Who get this car!
Man: I greet at least acknowledge my gre..
Police: Sharrap! I say who get dis car and you're querying me, stupid man.
Man: ok! It is mine.
Police: Give me documents including licence, insurance and custom papers and drivers licence
Man: The custom papers are at home.
Police: (Angrily)I suspected its smuggled or stolen.
Man: That is not a nice thing to s.. (Cut short)
Police: You must be very stupid. You people will steal cars and go to all these Campuses to harass all the small girls wey be your daughter age mate. Foolish man ( He beckons to his mates and four of them enter the car with him and the patrol vehicle loaded the rest of them) We are going to the station. Adekunle!
Man: This is not fair, I just told you my papers are up to date and custom papers...
Police: (Boiling) Do you want me to fire you before you move (cocksThey drive to the station, policemen cursing)
Scene II. The Station.
(They alight and bundle the man inside)
Policeman behind Counter: What is the matter?
Policemen: This stupid man is driving without papers and imagine He dey argue.
Man: Officer,that's not true u know... (Cut short again)
Policeman Behind Counter: Sharrap, I can see you are a very stubborn man. Did I talk to you ehn?
One Policeman: I will detain you today shay you think you can talk (faces the one behind the counter) put him in with the criminals.
(Just then the DPO walks in and seeing the commotion)
DPO: Yes, what's the commotion here all about.
Police: We caught this man with a suspected stolen vehicle and he was resisting arrest.
DPO: (turns to man) Is that true gentleman?
Man: No DPO.
DPO: (surprised) I am in mufti, how did you know I'm the DPO?
MAN: Because I am the Commissioner of Police Alh ..............................
(All the policemen in station took off, some through the window leaving DPO and the Commissioner...😂😂😂😂😂
This is 4 real .........................