Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sunday Laughs.

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Sunday, 4 December 2016

Sunday Laughs.

Ewoooo,Recession has affected the Laughs this Sunday!










JOKE 1
During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?



JOKE 2

As received...
Nigerian Police...hmmm

Scene I. A man driving clean car around Yaba, Lagos, was stopped @ police checkpoint.

Man:Good day Officers

Police: Who get this car!

Man: I greet at least acknowledge my gre..

Police: Sharrap! I say who get dis car and you're querying me, stupid man.

Man: ok! It is mine.

Police: Give me documents including licence, insurance and custom papers and drivers licence

Man: The custom papers are at home.

Police: (Angrily)I suspected its smuggled or stolen.

Man: That is not a nice thing to s.. (Cut short)

Police: You must be very stupid. You people will steal cars and go to all these Campuses to harass all the small girls wey be your daughter age mate. Foolish man ( He beckons to his mates and four of them enter the car with him and the patrol vehicle loaded the rest of them) We are going to the station. Adekunle!

Man: This is not fair, I just told you my papers are up to date and custom papers...

Police: (Boiling) Do you want me to fire you before you move (cocksThey drive to the station, policemen cursing)

Scene II. The Station.

(They alight and bundle the man inside)

Policeman behind Counter: What is the matter?

Policemen: This stupid man is driving without papers and imagine He dey argue.

Man: Officer,that's not true u know... (Cut short again)

Policeman Behind Counter: Sharrap, I can see you are a very stubborn man. Did I talk to you ehn?

One Policeman: I will detain you today shay you think you can talk (faces the one behind the counter) put him in with the criminals.

(Just then the DPO walks in and seeing the commotion)

DPO: Yes, what's the commotion here all about.

Police: We caught this man with a suspected stolen vehicle and he was resisting arrest.

DPO: (turns to man) Is that true gentleman?

Man: No DPO.

DPO: (surprised) I am in mufti, how did you know I'm the DPO?

MAN: Because I am the Commissioner of Police Alh ..............................

(All the policemen in station took off, some through the window leaving DPO and the Commissioner...😂😂😂😂😂
This is 4 real .........................


64 comments:

JACINTA MBACHU said...

Funny hahahahaha

Becky Divine said...

I hate tattoos! Too classy for such hehehehe

I think the first thing they teach police officers in training is Intimidation!! They yearn for it tueh

Esther Okoro said...

Funny.




God Bless Everyone.

Muy said...

Lol

Lizzy Berry said...

Stella what's this... Where Sunday laffs na

Okiriguo Princewill said...

Too short but cool. Haha

oladosu temitope said...

So funny

peace maker said...

LOL hilarious

Pen Duchess said...

Wow, stella, the first pix is epic
Remind me of my school days
How some girls changed from spirikoko sisters to what up girls
Happy sunday to every one

bunmi thomas said...

Stella Darling goodmorning , I so much love sunday post and don't stop because of any stupid reccesion!!!! police are your friends o,so what is good for the civilian is also good for mr commisioner.

queen hadassah said...

Those policemen are in trouble...this is what motorist face in Nigeria

Enid Blyton said...

If you have been forming 'big girl' on this blog and you are on that santa page looking for help then you are FAKE. A lot of you here are fake. The santa post has exposed you lot.

NORTH DAKOTA SIOBHAN said...

Lol

missylynn said...

Lol
I no fit laff finish ooo

billy sule said...

Hahaha naija police are bunch of nonentities

Anonymous said...

The police station drama is the funniest lol.

Rhoda Rex said...

Lol

mumii Gabbie said...

So funny... I like the jokes

beeolah said...

Hehehehehe @ dpo

Trudy GH said...

this your recession should end oooo. it just affected my usual laugh. i gave a 'weak' smile

crystal said...

The first is soooo true, the last joke is the bomb. I laugh scatter

Anonymous said...

Yeparipari

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Life always offers you a second chance. It's called tomorrow*

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Lol

Dewdrop said...

OMG the last joke got me in stitches. I will still make sure they all sacked.

Lollipop said...

Happy uterus independent day. Hahahaha that cracked me up.lol

ABUA Babe said...

Ah! Recession is bad, even jokes been affected

winners baby said...

Lolz

Iphie dearie said...

I hate that womb escape thing!

All I see is cute Kendall.

If my Dad didn't grudgingly give in to us wearing trousers in year 1,I would have been one of those Ladies from very strict homes that keep their trousers in school and go home with Santa Maria gowns😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.

Sisi Caro said...

Omg d last joke funny die. Policemen and intimidation eh

Anonymous said...

Police Drama was true life story. It happened one Saturday when Mohammed Dahiru Abubakar was CP in Lagos. According to the story, one old police man sitting at the gate who didn't also know it was the CP his colleagues arrested told them "na trouble una carry come so". When the DPO realized his boys arrested the CP, they all went to lock themselves in the cell by themselves. Lol

QUEEN AMY Loves ACCESS BANK said...

I hate tatoos too.
The police joke made me laugh

em jay said...

The DPO and commissioner joke got me. Lolzz.

Anonymous said...

You took the words out of my mouth girl. I was dazed when I saw the people begging for bag of rice n oil

Anonymous said...

The police joke really happened,it happened when abubakar Mohammed was the commissioner for Lagos,he later became the IG.

Naijahelm said...

Lol. I love the second story. Very funny. These are things our mumu policemen do on a daily basis.

Vivah hope said...

Lwkmd....

nnuku Sexy pant-like boxers. 08170506432 Order now said...

Lmao

white Berry said...

Hahahaha, funny post

Kachi said...

Short but funny jokes

stephan said...

Lol tho ist year is a real green fag. JJC.com😀

stephan said...

Lol. Which which santa post?

OYIN said...

Your name reminds me of ''the adventures of the secret seven''...memories

Anonymous said...

The robbers are still robbers but all of them robbers, bank manager and his staff are thieves

Anonymous said...

Shut up your dirty mouth!Go and google the meaning of Santa!
Anumpama,I know you were among those that changed ID cos of your fake life.

Anonymous said...

Maryam sadisu during sallah celebration SDK did sallah give away for u.now u are begging for Santa giveaway again haba let Christians enjoy dis one na.

Mrs. Romas said...

Funny and educating

Jasmine said...

Hahahahahahaha. Nice one.

corisande said...

Lmao! lol @ Happy uterus independent day

Anonymous said...

How can Dpo not know his commissioner?

OmaBuoro said...

Police will continue to show there color.

Bravitudenaturals said...

If you need a flatmate anywhere in Lagos pls mail me

Uniq Gem said...

Hahaha. That second picture is the truth. From mgbeke to badt geh. 😀😀😀


I needed this laugh. Thanks maami.

Enid Blyton said...

Anon 12. 57 not showing off but i have MORE THAN ENOUGH, it is well with you as my comment obviously hit a nerve. Just be real cos God does not do FAKE.

Victoria Omosuyi said...

Let me perch under you Esther.

Chai, the dpo and commissioner got me rotfl. Like they didn't even wait for him to finish his name. Nigerian Police.

Meme 1, unity in hatred. Cooperative hatred.

Auditor/Accountant said...

The police joke

Chidinma Gift said...

Anon leave that question jare

Chidinma Gift said...

Enid is it your begging mind your business biki

xhlrted p said...

No classy chic scratches the Bentley...Ooshey Mugabe.

Hate Gang...I so love the game. My bestie be like "sweets see Table 2, Doggett is seated there so we aint looking that way till we leave here". Hahaha
And Dogge be stretching neck to look our way.

Funny but short laughs. From January I promise to send in laughs biko. Next year will be easy for me.

Xhlrted P

Mosi Jubelo said...

Manager, crook

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

👍👍👍

Vicwhytehart said...

Nice

Unknown said...

Testing

Naija Music said...

hahahahahah.... funny stories, especially the second one shaaaa

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