Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: The Bidoung Challenge.

clickio advert

Tuesday, 20 December 2016

The Bidoung Challenge.

This is A MUST READ!




Cameroonians got their chance of introducing into the syllabus of Comedy and Other Comic Forms (a subject I taught in my other career), what seemed like a variant of the domestic nature of humour and wit, when in the last week and more days, they forced humour out of what seemed like an ordinary situation and added to the Ice Bucket Challenge and the Mannequin Challenge, what has become known internationally as the #Bidoung Challenge or the #CourberDosChallenge. 



While we were busy here disgracing the Super Falcons who won the Golden Trophy at the 10th African Women Cup of Nations Championship Football Tournament (AWCON), by refusing to pay them their entitlements, and forcing them to take to the streets to advertise national shame and disgrace, the Cameroonians who came second in the tournament, were treated to a Presidential banquet and special romp with the President and his wife. 


It was a special occasion in sports whereby a silver medal was better rewarded than a gold medal and in this instance, an odd commentary on sovereignty and its priorities.


There are other comparisons in terms of the attitude of the managers involved. Nigeria’s red-beret wearing Sports Minister, Solomon Dalung, a graduate of the University of Jos and a lawyer I am told, publicly confessed that Nigeria did not expect the Super Falcons to win. They got to the Semi-Finals and they were not expected to win and this was the reason their allowances were not paid? This same man, may be he should stop wearing a red beret, would later revise the English Language and say on tape that the “money that was spended on the Falcons was well spended”. Gbagaun! 



Shame on WAEC! WAEC, you see your shame? How do we justify this kind of grammatical seppuku by someone who purportedly passed School Certificate English? Abi, Lobade oh, Abi, Lobatan oh. This same fellow two months back kept the Nigerian male soccer team stranded in Atlanta and wondered why they were going to the Olympics. 


Compare and contrast him with the Minister of Sports and Physical education in Cameroon. His name is Pierre Ishmael Bidoung Mkpwatt. His team, the Lionesses of Cameroon came second in the 10th edition of the AWCON. He got them a Presidential reception, handshakes and all that. But when it was his turn to greet the President and his wife, Mkpwatt bent down so low, the whole of Cameroon erupted in laughter and for weeks, Mkpwatt has been the butt of trans-national joke. 


How low should any government official bend to show loyalty to a President? Mkpwatt’s bend- down-low greeting went viral on social media, and has since inspired so many memes and imitations, with goats, cats and humans, ridiculing the Minister.


Mkpwatt was so grateful the team under his watch came second; he was willing to kiss the floor. 


Here in Nigeria, our own team has been subjected to ridiculous humiliation. In Cameroon, they are laughing and having fun, over their second place prize, here in Nigeria we are gnashing our teeth over our distinction, and behaving as if it was wrong for the national team to have won the gold medal. Something is not right. Cameroonians are not worrying about what was spent for their country to win the Silver Medal, Nigeria’s Sports Minister is bragging about “what was spended” to get a gold medal. 


 When we are all spent with “spended” funds and we are left with a demoralized female soccer team that has won the AWCON eight record times, then we would probably in the future realize how we “spended” useful talents that could always lift the nation’s spirits and foreground our sovereignty in strategic areas of strength. A silver medal brought Cameroon so much humour and wit; a gold medal brought Nigeria so much agony, regret and embarrassment. This is the first sub-text of the Bidoung Challenge in the context of crucial sovereign questions.


Let us now return to Cameroon. Cameroonians obviously don’t know when to laugh. Mkpwatt’s offence is that he bent too low while paying respects to imperial leader, Paul Biya. Respect is something important to Africans. Mkpwatt probably overdid it. One online-parody showed him bending 90 degrees at a 30 metres distance remove. By any normal standards, that is too much of a show of respect. Other memes, google this, are worse, cats and goats got into the matter with Cameroonians bending so tragically low and purportedly making fun of Sports Minister Mkpwatt. 



What nobody has said is that the man actually being ridiculed is President Paul Biya. They are ridiculing his 34 years of autocratic rule. The national objection to autocratic, patriarchal rule through comedy is a way of saying we have had enough, sir. Why should we all bend so low to make you so important? Comedy after all as Hugh Walpole tells us, is “for those who think while tragedy is for those who feel”. Cameroonians through the Bidoung challenge are saying therefore that they are tired of the culture of subservience, too many years of Cameroonians bowing down to one man who doesn’t want to leave. When is Biya planning to leave? Beyond the comedy, this is the message.



 He has been President for more than 30 years. We are all tired of him. We don’t want him behaving like he is a President for life. Africa’s biggest problem is the continued existence of sit-tight rulers. Our rulers don’t believe in democracy. They believe that there will be no country without them or their sons and very soon, their daughters. Just look at Gambia, the Republic of Congo, Equitorial Guinea and Gabon. Even the recently elected leaders behave like monarchs.


In this matter, Nigerians are better off. Nigerians have now reached a stage in our democratic evolution where they seem to believe that nobody can steal their mandate. And the way they are all waiting for 2019, it looks like they believe in the sanctity of democracy. But I will like to defend Cameroon’s Sports Minister, Pierre Mkpwatt. Nobody outside Cameroon has accused him of speaking out of turn like our red beret guy who doesn’t know the elementary difference between “spend” and “spent.” But the Cameroonian Sports Minister’s biggest offence is his bending “down too low.” In Africa, I beg, that is not a big deal. There is something in Africa called eye service in the corridors of power.



Mkpwatt is the latest victim of the eye service syndrome in Africa’s corridors of power. I have seen pictures of the US President Barrack Obama carrying his own umbrella. Members of his staff call him Barrack. In Germany, Angela Merkel still cooks for her husband every Sunday, and she goes to the groceries store to get special delicacies. I am not making this up. She said so in my presence. In the Western world a leader is not considered God, he or she is a citizen. The problem we have in Africa is that the leaders behave like they are monarchs. Mkpwatt bending so low to greet President Biya was merely succumbing to an African expectation and tradition; in fact, if he had prostrated, he would not have been out of place. Abusing and maligning him is hypocritical. Any other Cameroonian would have bent just as low if not lower. 



And Nigerians need not act superior. Even here, people bend too low to show loyalty to the reigning President. One prominent figure once told me that it is survival strategy. Nigerian opportunists bend even far lower, they prostrate, and they utter all kinds of stupidities to impress the man of power. Sycophancy is the biggest challenge to power in Nigeria. There are too many people approaching the man of power telling him things and seeking to influence him, They would kneel down if they have to. They will recite the Holy Books if they think that will help. They will do whatever it takes to have their way. All of this is never in the interest of the people.



A former privileged government official once told me that he found himself on one occasion at the Presidential Villa whereby he arrived and he found everyone kneeling down before the President. He thought it was odd and he didn’t think he had to kneel down. He stood his ground and stood up but the President was growling at him and he too was looking back. At that moment, he suddenly saw a respected national figure, who slumped onto his knees and started crawling towards the President, shouting “Rankadede” with clinched and raised fists, as he did so. What was he supposed to do? He went on his knees! In some government houses, the Governors sit on thrones. When they stand up, their subordinates also stand. When they sit, the subordinates also sit. When they go for lunch, or dinner, no appointee eats anything other than what the Governor eats. 



The protocol is that you cannot obey an order of gravity that positions you higher than the big man. This is precisely the Biodung Challenge. The Sports Minister had to stay away from and below the big man. It is worse in Nigeria where people actually kneel down or prostrate to the man of power or his wife, even when there is no need for such overt expression of loyalty.


The irony of it all is that the same people who bend down so low may not recognize the same man of power once he is out of office. The same Mkpwatt that is bending so low for President Biya may claim tomorrow that he no longer has his phone number. Unfortunately, Paul Biya plans to die in office.



BY REUBEN ABATI
forget say na Abati write am,the write up make sense DIE!

63 comments:

Ideato/ilaje blood said...

Didn't Read!!!

Good morning Uncle Reuben

Loveme Jeje said...

not interested. Will not change anything.

Abati tell us your experience in efcc jail.

Shantelle's Empire said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Emmanuella Marshall said...

Couldn't read, will continue reading long epistles wen schl resumes..

Shantelle's Empire said...

Lmaooo! The pic of that dog cracked me up.
Btw,did i just see mr dalumng aka united states of nigeria aka mr spended?
Errr,uncle reuben kepp calm,this write up di lonngggg! I will read @ night. This morning we talking Money not epistles,ya heard?

Sugar Dropx said...

Lol ok sir

Peppi said...

How do yu expect me to read dz handout.. Nawa ooh

olaedo said...

It must be Abati

Anonymous said...

I've not read it but as I was scrolling down I just said out loud this is Reuben!

Rhoda Rex said...

Nice

Jagaban said...

Natin but the truth...interesting write up if i may say...

Minnie Rexpect said...

Nice Read. That's the African mentality for you.

Esther Mgbolu said...

Too long

nnuku Sexy pant-like boxers. 08170506432 Order now said...

Somebody should read and summarize for me.

iyke david said...

Uncle Abatti on it again!

SMURF said...

Who is going to read all of this nonsense?

myraclebee said...

Nice write up.

Kaycee Blinqs said...

I didn't read this. Just scrolled down to comment. Good morning Abati!... Side eyes

Janeaustaconnection said...

The write up make sense wella.I pray God help Nigeria

Favour A said...

Didn't read

Cyndilicious said...

Akuko

Omonigho said...

Long read but I finished it.
Nice one Abati...

OmoBee said...

Of course, it can only be Reuben Abati.
Nice read but too long and boring at some points.

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

REuben

Lora said...

Eku kika o!Handshake to whoever reads all that...phew

sexy Daddy said...

Loveme jeje kedu ije?Hope u are good

stunning slim shady said...

Beggi beggi wurru wurru is to bv white berry as lonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng epistles is to Reuben abati

stunning slim shady said...

I dint even bother to read wen they are other juicier posts on ds blog. Abegi Who Reuben write up elp?

My Case Is Different said...

I have to scroll down to be sure.

Shantelle's Empire said...

What is the meaning of rakandede?

Evil greedy lots that wont fear their maker but will easily kneel and bow to their fellow man. Awon rada rada.

ajibade toyin said...

Yeye Government

Yetty mama said...

I can not believei read it all, thanks at Reuben abati,that is d bitter truth

Anonymous said...

I am sure you didn't, it isn't fiction. That's a true story and not intended for your kind.

Yetty mama said...

I can not believei read it all, thanks at Reuben abati,that is d bitter truth

Anonymous said...

All a piece needs to make me read it is the name...Reuben Abati.

He a good writer.

MISS Jacobs.

Lady j said...

I knew it..Reuben abati at it again.. Lol

Quick Weight loss with Green World Slimming Capsules Abuja. 08037495373. said...

Lol...i just scrolled down after the second paragraph. I knew it was uncle Reuben. Does anybody really read this text book to the end? Just curious though.

Jessy Oriflame said...

I read every word, line and sentence. The man make sense die. The write-up may be lengthy but it was certainly worth the read.

Olaide Davies said...

I read and enjoyed reading everything.

Anonymous said...

Very interesting write up. I read to the end in a while, and it reminded me of my days as a literature student. I miss analyzing those poems.

What do I do to maintain a work-life balance...Join a dance group, as I don't like all those church groups? Still thinking...

Jasmine said...

Nice one.

First, they should remove Oga beret. That man is so incompetent.

Reuben can write sha.

Anonymous said...

My beau making sense since 19gbororo

FOOTBALLMOLE said...

Please where's the other writer Etcetera? It's been a while we read his controversial write- up

Keesha said...

Hmmmm, so I read it

Shantelle's Empire said...

Dalung*
Keep*

Phew! For the first time,i'm proud to say i read reuben's write up from start to finish!

Anonymous said...

Try and read, it's a nice write up

Henny said...

So Mr. Reuben Abalti is still writing from prison? Abi Efcc don release am?

Becky Divine said...

Reuben Abati making sense since 4ever!

Loveme Jeje said...

sexy daddy am fine. How are you. I saw you quarelling with Don Mayor, no vex ooo

Anonymous said...

I knew it. His style of writing is headache inducing.

Favour A said...

Finally read it cause I was bored but it's nice doh

stephan said...

This dude is at it again.anyways all is saw is that blunder that hediot made. Cant seem to stop watching it.

Miss Kay said...

For those of you complaining itz too long..... Better form the habit of reading, long or short... What might save you tomorrow might be there, information is power, if it is WNB, you will run nd finish it nd comment join... Smh.... Read oooooo my people...#santafever #

AbaMade said...

Read up until the third paragraph, then I said to myself this should be Ruben, scrolled down and was not disappointed.

Anonymous said...

Etcetera has been 'awfully' silent.
Is all well with him?

Uncle Reuben, much as I enjoy your write ups, you should consider a crash course in "Summary".

#Flygirl

Mrs.R SDK blog Official BFF said...

Mr Reuben Abati welcome back?
I knew after the second paragraph that it was his style of writing.
I just continue reading because it's fun reading Mr. Reuben's articles.

Wendixx said...

I was enjoying the "make-sense' write up initially, then I said to myself;" this is too long to be written by an ordinary writer. Could it be who I think it is?"
So I scrolled down *rolls eyes* lo and behold REUBEN ABATI!!!

Interesting writeup anyway.

Starjoy said...

Too long to read

THELMA'S CAKE WORLD said...

Can't read abeg, not in my present condition....

Vivilicious said...

Its Hausa language. Don't know the exact meaning, but its used to hail someone in a position of power and authority.

charitybino said...

Abati abati

Victoria Omosuyi said...

Lol. @ unfortunately paul biya will die in office.
Reuben A can do no wrong in my eyes. Always in love with his articles right from his days in Guardian newspaper.

Anonymous said...

Africa called eye service in the corridors of power.
Crawling lol politics

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...