Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

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Sunday, 15 January 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative....

Ewo!!!






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

AT A CROSS ROAD:


Hi, been thinking about this for a while and decided to write to you ma. I need your red pen and the bv's advice.


I am a 25 year old working class lady, with little side businesses of my own. I am presently in a relationship with a guy a year and some months older, my age grade, and I will say yeah, we love ourselves. Although we started dating after I had a very painful breakup. He helped me get through it. People initially asked me not date him because of his age and the fact that they felt I needed someone older. 



But this dude didn't give up tho, he was there, very loving and all, asked me to build with him. Very difficult considering where I am coming from but after a while I gave in. We have been perfect since 8 months and counting. We have met each other parents and friends. He spends on me even though I earn a lot. We are cool. Very. We are besties.


Now the issue is I have a friend from school who has been asking me out for the past 5 years, while I have been in various relationships, he has been there telling me he loves me and asking me to be with him. That he wants to marry me. I have never felt any form of attraction for him, even when I broke up with my ex he was there, hurt that I didnt give him a chance but still there saying we should get married.


 I kept asking why he loves me like this, he says some long ramblings (in a good way). I have had 3 relationships (No sex) and he is still there, I even told him no sex till marriage, he said he is doing same too. I have ignored for months, been rude and all, he is still there. I keep telling him distance would be a factor as I can't leave my job in Lagos and be a housewife in Osogbo or Ibadan, he said he would get me car to take me to work daily or rent a house for me in Lagos and come home weekends.


 The car has been his fave choice tho and i pointed out how stressful that would be. I have given thousands of excuses still he stays. He doesn't even know I am in a relationship now, I couldnt bring myself to tell him, after he almost cried on the phone about me never giving him a chance during my former relationship.


I do not love this guy, people say go where the love is, but I cant even think of kissing him, not to talk of having s3x with him forever and ever. Trust me, I think about s3x a lot. 


Other things I noticed is that just like me, he saves and invest like crazy but he does it more than me to the point I feel he is stingy, when I call him stingykoko, he will say he is not that he is saving for the future, that when he gets married he will be giving allowance and all that shit... I am like cool, but loving and giving starts now.


Another thing, the way he talks can be very off, very localized, stuffs like Ha, I wan marry you, or na me go marry you last last. Most time I feign bad network and end the call, before I vomit.


 My major ish is the way he talks, not even stinginess, I have my own money.


 He is well educated, his momsie is a Dr and his parents are Chiefs, so he is well educated, his siblings are not like this but his talking is so warrish, i feel like I would die. In all of this, he is a very good man, God fearing and he plans.


 He has saved money for his kids to be able to afford Harvard, remaining small, he will open trust fund for grand kids. I know about all his income, finances and businesses.


My ish now is he has been there for long, what if I have been chasing him away and he is actually the one meant for me like my cousin jokingly said. What if he is? 

Am I being too picky? He said he wants to get married this year. Its his resolution to do intro and stuffs this year. Been thinking of going with him, but forever :(.

My current boo is young, loves me, says he will be ready finance wise in a year and half but...

I am scared, I am in a dilemma
I am not a bad person, just someone who has had her heart shattered and is trying to be careful.


Please post, I know its long, but I will read every advice here, because I need it. Tough love is welcomed.



Lol at tough love is welcome....He who has never been confused should throw the first stone at you na....Hisssss!

My dear who English EPP?he behaves local and not that his English is bad?thats not a crime,he prolly just does it for fun or to make you relax with him

Why dont you take yourself for a walk to clear your head...listen to your heart and listen to your head and make up your mind...Love can happen to anyone when they least expect it and in Marriage the things you think might  affect it negatively might actually be what it stands on when it is shaky....

''Na me go marry you last last '' is funny,why do you find fault with it?you have a comedian at hand dear.


The kind of things some of you look for in a life partner these days are too empty and will not see a marriage though its first year!




122 comments:

em jay said...

Hulala.

Blackberry said...

Tough!
Your young boo won't be ready till he's in his 30's, would u wait? He might even dump u for a younger babe!

D ibadan boo is only giving u sweet mouth, once he marries u, the car talk will be wash, he'll tell u to resign that he'll be paying you allowance, sweet mouth, shine ur eye.

ES OH JAY said...

let me also read comments

HOUSE OF LAWOF said...

When you don't like someone everything they do seems wrong even if starts acting posh you will definitely say he is egocentric. Just follow your mind.

Blackberry said...

No car will be taking u from osogbo/ibadan to work in lagos everyday! Taaaa .

If he rents a house n come weekends, you'll be lagos wife while ibadan wife go dey.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Continue wasting your time with a small boy that won't marry you at the end of the day!..
You think you are are still hot and young abi?...
Girl you are 25 and will soon clock 26!!...
Your time is ticking mehn!...
You think being an old cargo is a joke?...
Continue waiting for that your sugar boy you call a boyfriend...
Don't go and grab someone that is serious and start making babies!...
Your eyes go clear when this your sugar son dump you like others...

Olivia Silk said...

You have something perfect but that one no do you.
The information you have on the guy you say you don't love is quite interesting. You might as well be his inner spirit man.

Finally, you just want to get married this year to cut your long story short.

You don't want to consider if you love him or not. MBA. It's to listen to long stories. He is stingy,you don't care about that, tomorrow you will come with another chronicle.
I didn't even read the other yadda yadda you were yapping about.

Do what your mind abi cousin tells you to. Bye bye.

Una too like stories.

Anonymous said...

The poster is very stupid and uptight. I have been in America for a very long time and prefer to talk in pidgin and Yoruba to my close friends. She's a fake bitch. Do not marry that guy. He doesn't deserve to be with a desperate, fake bitch like you. And yes he's very stingy. If he can't give you gifts now, not money as he's not your father. Then it's a prelude of what is to come. Let him go, he irritates you. Stay with your young fresh boy abeg. You are also very young and dumb so you fit the small boy better.

STARRY LARRY said...

I have a guy friend who has been on my neck since 2007 and up till now, I can't ever imagine him hugging me let alone kissing or having sex with him. So dear, can't ever marry someone I don't love, only if it's contract marriage




*Larry was here*

Beloved said...

Wow
Dear it is not easy to choose a life time partner.
Some will say follow your heart but how can one follow a confused heart ? ?
Just ask the Almighty creator for a sign

MrsB said...

Time for some tough love. You wish our young boyfriend has this guy's money. You're not confused in any way. Here is a man you cannot stand, whose manner of speaking makes you want to throw up, who is so 'warrish' [whatever that means] and you say you're confused? You just described someone who makes your skin crawl and you're confused about him?
All that makes him slightly appealing to you is the fact that he's obviously well to do. If you do not have any feelings for him, let him go. Love alone is never enough to make a marriage work and you don't even love this man so I don't know how you think that would work.
You're 25. Build with your young boyfriend, there's nothing wrong with that.

Cathryn Praise said...

Stella, your last sentence is so very true. Poster, have u asked God what or who HIS choice for you is? Most times, many go for what/who they want and when storms come they are washed away with it but when they go for God's will for them, when storms come, they can boldly call on HIM to calm that storm. Poster ask for God's will and for the grace to accept that will cos i tell you, HIS will could be "funny" and below our "expectation". My 2cents

Chidinma Grace said...

It's obvious that u are still a kid. Wait till u grow up. He is a typical Yoruba man, n dts how they joke. Try and understand him first n enjoy him later. That's if u will grow up o,

Isaacson said...

All I typed just vanish...it felt like rapture happened lol

Anonymous said...

You're the one wearing the shoe,so you know were it pinches.
But sweetheart life has taught me to love and appreciate those who are always there for you...love who loves you,go closer to him study him more,then take it to God let him direct you...miss B

tush baby said...

If u don't love someone,even der funniest joke will annoy the shit outta u..i love my hubby but first,he has a way of making me laff and come out of every situation..we have had times we that what kept us is the friendship we share.. love is not enough to keep marriage my dear..cos an empty stomach can not love.. I know der are guys of 25 who are mature at heart and in thinking but if u ask me,i will say,Go with this guy who knows how to invest and is already planning ahead..my hubby has one regret he keeps talking bout,if he had known that marriage is like dis,he would have started saving long time ago.pls don't forget to pray that is the most important

Shantelle's Empire said...

Stay with your bf. I wouldnt want my bro to marry your type cos you will cheat like its going out of fashion since there's no love.

Madam everything puts you off. Mtcheeew!

BLOGLORD said...

"I keep telling him distance would be a factor as I can't leave my job in Lagos and be a housewife in Osogbo or Ibadan, he said he would get me car to take me to work daily or rent a house for me in Lagos and come home weekends."

Why did my mind scream "story" when I read that? Why?

When a man wants you, he will say anything you want to hear.

I am not too comfortable that he knows so much about your past relationships.

Marriage has so much inbuilt- good and bad. I am just scared of him using your past to judge you should you guys have any quarel (all married couples do)and then it looks like emotional blackmail

Am somewhat worried too cos the other guy apart from the fact that he is not buoyant right now, I heard/read no complaint about him

You need to think deep. Think hard, pray about it and follow your heart.

I feel you stand a better chance with your current boo though.

All the best

Elsie Adaobi said...

Poster truth is you don't have feelings for him. What if you marry him and find out you cnt cope with his behaviour and expressions. Marriage is a serious thing and not like dating but except you r sure you can manage then better. But y manage when you can get what you want from this present boyfriend. Except you r not sure of this present guy wanting to settle soon but even at that.. can you cope forever with a guy whose character you don't exactly like?

BLOGLORD said...

Blackberry your head is there! My thoughts exactly

em jay said...

Poster if of all things, na he slang dey worry you, go sitdon inside gutter, mtewwwwwwwwww.
People re seeking advice for very important issh, you are here wolf over 'na me go marry you last last'.
Mtewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Stelz said...

Babe your reasons for not liking the 'warrish' guy are quite flimsy. What I can deduce is that you just don't like him.
As much as love is very important for a marriage to work, there are other things, other qualities to consider. So babe, just like Stella said, you need to take a long walk and think things through thoroughly. Pray for wisdom too to take the right step.
At the end of the day, it's your decision to make. Yours alone.

Yvonne said...

Poster, if your younger bf has the same kinda money ur toaster has u definitely won't be asking this question...you are so childish.

Rob said...

His English is warrish?? You sound Shallow and cocky with that line. Your type ends up with the wrong person cause of your irritating selective nature. How much do you have ????Go fuck yourself!!!!

Anonymous said...

You are confused or you had already made up your mind!!!! Why not start afresh? You don't know what you want! Do you want Fanta or coke? Anyone you choose, they are both pop! Abegi! You better make hay while the sun shines! To test your love, bring their pix here and introduce them here with their numbers and see if other girls won't take them! Your matter no serious joor!

Olabanji Olajide said...

Lies lies lies... Let him go. Build with your young man.. You already know he is stingy, that car na wash, es it car u hv not entered bfor. He cant spend on yiu on, what the assurance that he will spend for you when you are together. your mind has told you lots about him. Cmon follow yur mind orelse....!!

Anonymous said...

This poster has made up her mind! She just needs us to justify her actions!When you love someone, you don't see any flaws, even when its pointed out to you, you defend it! Babe! Go marry your soul mate ooo! Leave the warrish guy man alone for a warrish babe!😎

Anonymous said...

There is nothing like, ask God! Just pray to God concerning the kind of man you need! Even the bible says, he who finds a wife, finds favor in the sight of God! It's you, who go looking for a wife or husband, after finding one, you bring to God!

Anonymous said...

Yes o the driver thing all na wash....But then test thier characters, humor is very important in a relationship...Be careful of a stingy guy, my dilemma...My husband once told me if he touches the money in his account to give me for a business after I lost my bank job cos I was pregnant, he said the money will reduce. Maturity test comes to play here..Spend time with them physically know what you can stand. Forget phone talk o...Na I'm put me for this one chance.

Anonymous said...

If you marry the wrong person bvees won't Suffer it with you

Please don't ever marry Someone who repulsive to you.
What if the money is not there again
What if the family gives you problem
What iff storms comes later
What will you hang onto


I ccant imagine myself sleeping with a man that disgust me

Bianca BRUNO said...

The second guy is too stingy abeg forget all that talk about saving for d future. All na wash. Only him is irritating you. He can't even use his "plenty" money to sway you sef
Stingy koko. Wants to marry who he hasn't spent one Naira on. .nor be say he is even physically appealing. In fact I have vex

LIGHT said...

"The kind of the things some of you look for in life partner these days are too empty and wouldn't see marriage through a year" Stella,you nailed it.
Poster since you dont feel an iota of love for him,i would advice you stop thinking about him and focus on who you love. He will definitely find someone that will love him just the way he is. Dont date him out of pity. My two cents.

Bianca BRUNO said...

Abi oh. D ibadan guy dey vex me die

modella said...

my dear pls don't listen to Stella o. follow your heart abeg. I'm sure you love your current bf more. forget the other one. why is he so much in a hurry? He mention marriage now your head don turn 360 degree. he said he'd get you a car that will take u from lagos to Oshogbo and rent an apartment for you. lol... story! how long will that continue. hope you don't wanna consider him cos of his investment and finances? your biz tho. and yes you are too picky. but I can't date someone I'll be ashamed of o. pls follow your heart and stick with him (ur current bf). "na me go marry you last last". WDH????

Olivia Silk said...

Thank you!

Phenomenal woman said...

Well, you are in a dicey situation, as much as its tempting to advise you to be go with older guy who has money and is also ready for marriage this year, I'll also want you to know that love is very essential for a successful, happy home. Money will not make you endure all his nonsense but love will, money will not make you happy in the marriage but love will, money cannot guarantee that you will be best of friends but love will. Money will not give you the feeling that you eventually had babies for the man you would choose a thousand times over but love will. Poster you have your own money so choose wisely. At the end of the day it's you that will live with the consequences of your choices not your cousins, parents or even Bvs. So don't choose something out of sentiments or logic. Be wise.

Anonymous said...

I agree 100% and these stupid bitches will be wondering why men cheat

Do they have what it takes to hold a man?

Or is it brazilian hair, makeup and sex that 1million other singles can do too

Jenny zee said...

All these shakara u are doing, na that guy go marry u last last

HRRT FBI said...

I totally agree with u.u are vry much on point.

HRRT FBI said...

I totally agree with u.u are vry much on point.

Peeytee said...

My dear just follow your heart. Don't use the cars and money he is promising you to consider him. He might just be sweet-talking and change after he finally gets you. I am not saying he is the wrong choice o. Can you pray? Pray and fast for three days and ask the Lord for a sign, you might never know till you ask God.


BY THE WAY, This is someone having two potential hubbies and I don't have one. It is well o lol

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

Date the two of them codely n pick the best out of the two.

viva ciara said...

Kai
Your mouth eh!

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

I think the second guy will also waste ur time considering his age.

Just give the second guy a chance n get to know him.

Dark Horse said...

I think so too. The Ibadan abi osun guy may renegade on his promises

Anonymous said...

you people can never learn, the same the same chronicles

Anonymous said...

And the guy is still waiting? You jazz am?

Anonymous said...

I concur Mrs B,you said it all

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Gbam

MamaZ O said...

A woman ought to have principles. You obviously don't belong to the same world with this guy. Your ideas are so not the same. The only reason why you are even giving it a thought his cause of his great financial position like you described. That's just a factor amongst many others that makes a marriage successful. Stella when a woman says a guy irritates her like this poster described the best advice you should give is for her to leave him alone cause if she goes ahead with that guy all he does will irritate her and you will end up making each other terrible people in the future. Just do each other a favour and tell this guy you ain't interested pls.

Blackberry said...

Who broke ur heart? Lol

Vivilicious said...

Why don't you go to God with a sincere and open heart and allow him speak to you concerning this guys. No one on sdk's blog knows the true intentions of these men, except God. Present the two men before God, and wait patiently for him to give you an answer or give you signs concerning them.
You can even ask other neutral prayerful people to support you in prayers.
My 2 cents

Priceless Jewel said...

Look unto God dear, when there's no where to turn & you're confused, fast & pray! God will direct you...


... Jesus is my worth!

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Never let your emotions overpower your intelligence*

Anonymous said...

Girl, you are in "a dilemma box" you created for yourself.
You don't love him and don't even think of kissing him etc. so what's the attraction; what people say? Are those people going to kiss and romance him for you?
What is wrong with the beautiful relationship you painted with your current boyfriend/fiance?
Why do girls like to fret?
What is God saying to you in all these; or you have stored treasures for yourself here on earth and do not have riches toward God? That is the "rich fool parable in the New Testament" (google this parable and read please) you know?

Bunny PJ said...

You can't stand that guy, forget his wealth because in 1 or 2 years you'll be a the to run out of that marriage, haven't you heard marriage enlarges ones faults??
There's nothing wrong with building with your man, most very rich people you see today started from nothing, leave the rich guy and face your main guy, forget about the age and respect him like your man and watch your marriage flourish.

Not anonymous said...

Your comment is so on point! You obviously can't stand this person and you want to get married this year?? You couldn't even bring yourself to date him, na marriage you wan enter, distance marriage for that matter. Don't jump into what you won't be able to finish o. If it doesn't work out with the youung guy, there is nothing that says you can't meet someone new. Don't marry someone that irritates you, that's all!

Mrs I said...

Let me tell u a little story about myself my dear.Before i got married all the guys i dated wia very tall,huge and handsome bobo's that is what i have always wanted.But right now i am married to a not so tall,not so huge,and not so handsome bobo but u know what, i thank God i chosed him.When hubby came into my life i was having serious issue with my ex,then hubby came and the first time we spoke he just went straight to the point..my dear i want to marry u.I looked at him and laughed,went home and told my frnd and we laughed sotey our stomach ached,anything he come around me and my frnd will be signaling each other and laughing at him.I will compare him to my ex and there will be nothing comparable. Thou he is a graduate but not so social like my ex,even his English sef na wahala plus he has accent,when we first gbensed nko? Hubby's dick was smaller than my ex chai i can never marry this guy i said to my self,lemme just eat and clean mouth.But after like 6 months of being with him i started giving myself brain,even my frnd whom we use to laugh together started telling me babe are u sure u won't take a second look at this guy? I started mellowing down then i told him i av agreed to marry him.We went for intro and after intro it was like the devil had come out for me,every wia i go i meet very tall,huge and handsome guys that will start talking about marriage chai i got confused, i was scared of making mistake bcos i actually wanted a tall,handsome bobo but atlas God in his mercy helped me to make the perfect choice. Almost 4 years now married to my not so tall,not so handsome, not so social,kinda local but very Godly bobo and i tell u what?its been an heavenly experience with him.No wahala, no pressure and even though we have no kids now he is firmly behind me with the belive that God will surely give us our children. I wonder which man would av tolerated me like this...I can categorically tell you that what evry woman needs is a Godly man bcos in the long run,all those material things we look at won't matter anymore. I hope this my personal story will help u make ur decision. Arghh my finger aches from typing

Anonymous said...

I dey tell you at your first statement. I remember carrying spit in my mouth after my ex kisses me, just cause I didn't like him. And he was over good to me, till date if I send him "please send me credit" the kind card he'll send ehn, but all that can't take the place of Love o, not even minding how many years we've known and he's been there for me.

Anonymous said...

Poster your English is horrible too. What is stuffs, chiefs?
Please don't marry an olodo Luke you for your kid's sakes

qutephykar said...

Lol @confused heart

preciousp gal said...

Dear,what you don't know is that even in contract marriage,people fall in love.

DonMayor �� said...

I wonder how men hang around and wait for a girl that's in a relationship already, waiting for her to break up and come give them a chance.
How can a man be locking around you since 2007, na only you be woman ?
Abeg I no dey for all that rubbish. My u turn game bad.. Lol

Ronalda. said...

Sweetie, what does marriage mean to you? Marry a guy who appears to love you intensely and apart from the pet peeves he so lavishly exhibits, you aren't remotely attracted to him‎. At least you'll get married in your 20s believing the future of your kids will be financially secure, no? So what happens 3 months into your marriage when his flaws become more obvious, you're so irritated by his very presence and you dare not allow him accompany you to social functions for fear of him embarrassing you with his spoken English or his general demeanour?

I'm sorry, my darling, but I'm old school when it comes to marriage. I would NEVER encourage marriage to a person you aren't in love with. To me, love and marriage can't be mutually exclusive. I've heard that saying that "marry a person who loves you more than you love them". I say "marry whom you love and who loves you right back" that's good enough. If everyone marries the person who loves them more, who marries the ones whom love less? The truth is, if you are lucky to be with the person who truly loves you, the percentage of whom loves more becomes irrelevant. One of the worst things a woman can do is, marry a man she has little or zero feelings for. Even at his best behaviour, he will still be irritating to her and she will be frustrated and bitter.‎

Why would you even think God will send a man you can't stand to be your life partner? Why do some christians feel God "tempts" them like that? If you feel physical attraction isn't necessary in marriage, take a good look at most of the wives of pastors and other spiritual leaders. A pastor cracked a joker recently, he said the reason pastors marry very beautiful women is because when their congregants close their eyes during prayers, the pastors have their eyes open. So they get to see all the pretty ladies. He went on to say when he was praying for a wife, he prayed with his eyes closed but when it was time to "select" a wife, he had his eyes WIDE open. You must be attracted to your life partner.

True, love isn't enough to make a marriage work. It takes other elements but love MUST be inclusive. My darling, if you haven't met the man you love who loves you as well, I don't think you should consider being bound to just anyone with a marriage covenant. Just because 2 guys are showing interest doesn't make it an "either or" situation. For all you know, the right person hasn't shown up yet. You can't always make the one you settle for, the right one. A lot of people are married to the "right ones" for other people but not for them and they are miserable. There's this hilarious but thought provoking quote " a wedding ring is the smallest handcuff ever. So think deep, choose your prison mate carefully and sentence yourself wisely to avoid a prison break"
#e-bearhugs.‎

Anonymous said...

A guy that don't spend on you now, will not spend on you when he marries you, spending is a natural thing, even if you are saving, so forget all that plenty talk about saving for the future. Speaking from experience.

Anonymous said...

Poster thinks she is posh but begs boyfriends for money. LOL. Oloyinbo. It's your type that comes from face me I face you but come to Lagos to form a new personality. Posh beggar. Are your boyfriends your father? Are you not ashamed that your boyfriends are doing what your father cannot do? Beggar.

Anonymous said...

I hardly comment but I will on this one based on experience. I had a guy like that. He asked me out for six years.... all of my friends wondered why I didn't even like him. He did everything possible to date me but I just couldn't. When I decided to, I regretted it. He treated me like trash and was full of shit. He lied about a lady asking him out meanwhile he was dating her and having an affair with me. I later lost out and he is married to her. The year he proposed to her, he still came to me saying he loved me and I asked what about his girlfriend he proposed to? He said and I quote' I had said to myself that at thirty I would be married and I marry who ever is with me as I get to that age'. I immediately thank God it wasn't me. The only good thing from the relationship is that it lead me to Christ cos I was so hurt I ran to the church and cried at the altar. So my sister, that is not to say it's also your story. No, but please be sure. Test the waters, there is no harm in trying. Go to God for guidance. Let Him lead and expose each of them to you. God bless

pastor Jude chuks said...

The best way to go about these issues you have said. My sister go back to God, pray very hard with fasting. Ask the Lord to reveal his plans to you. Don't be distracted or confuse about life partner. He will tell you clear about the Man of your life. God bless you

Single Mom said...

Na him you go marry last last...lolz


Long live SDK

teespell said...

Dear Poster, don't even think of resigning from ur Job cos of a man. All that saving for the future, buying you a car na wash. You'll be at his mercy once you marry. 25 is so young so need to hurry. I got married at 28, marriage wasn't on my to do list at 25 even though I was in a stable relationship with hubby. Take your time to weigh the pro and cons.ignore stella's advice oh.

Single Mom said...

When the main guy starts earning reasonable amount she will see the real him, I think she should seek God's face so she don't make mistakes because the second guy might not change and she will end up taking care of her self and the kids while he keeps getting richer and sees noting in it.


Long live SDK.

teespell said...

Dear Poster, don't even think of resigning from ur Job cos of a man. All that saving for the future, buying you a car na wash. You'll be at his mercy once you marry. 25 is so young so need to hurry. I got married at 28, marriage wasn't on my to do list at 25 even though I was in a stable relationship with hubby. Take your time to weigh the pro and cons.ignore stella's advice oh.

Anonymous said...

Poster you sound like you are not really into either of them despite their good qualities. Maybe Mr right is still out there...abi are you under pressure to be Mrs now? Umm wetin I sabi?

Anonymous said...

I always believe that the reason why you don't like someone, will keep popping up ones everything is not moving on well. You rather be with someone you will love in good or bad. Getting married to a stingy man is the worst thing that can happen to a lady, the frustration no be here. Be patient with the one you love. Young couple's love sweet pass. All the best in your decision.

Anonymous said...

Poster, this is the only advice you need. Flesh cannot help you.

Anonymous said...

Kai! I can imagine how confused poster will be after reading all these comments. Poster go and pray and fast and make sure you have physical contact with them as often as possible so you can observe them. Like I said before, neither of them may be suitable for you, or not...

BluntChic (Ijebu/Ibibio blood) said...

Go to God in prayer....

Anonymous said...

So 16:07 what qualities are you looking for? Many applicants will want to know, btw you must be a super stud and gentleman yourself. Guys be wanting quality women when they are less than standard... Mtcheew.

Anonymous said...

Your head dey there.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous 15.10 that's rather harsh. Everyone is not the same
I myself like to speak pidgin sometimes es especially when joking but I won't like a guy that speaks pidgin all the time. Especially to me. But it doesnt make me a fake bitch, i stil dey rap pidgin soemtimes. somw people just like what they like. Yes most guys especially abroad speak pidgin it's a way to seem closer to home but most times they speak it to fellow guys. Not to thier gfs. Huby moved back from UK and used to speak pidgin alll the time to evry guy. When someone spoke to him in english he would reply in pidgin no matter the gathering or setting!It was really a turn off. I told him and he admitted it was unconscious and he was so used to it. Some girls like you to be able to express yourself both ways and have arguments fun and joke in both ways. In pidgin and English. Others are just brought up differently and in that case pretending to embrace what you are not comfortable with is you actually being fake.

temmy yemmy said...

Talk to God abt it and if possible take Dia names to ur pastor.

Anonymous said...

Anon 17:42 you will live long

Anonymous said...

Nice one and thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing. I nor be poster ooo.

Quiksilver said...

So what about his dick? Pls did it increase?

Anonymous said...

Please how can I reach you Ronalda?

micheal kobi said...

Anon u jst said it all,.spending is a natural thing, a lot of men promise what they can't fulfill...

Push up said...

Don't mind them, that's how in the end she will start sleeping around. Madam poster better face your young boo, there's nothing I hate like stingy guys. He is saving for his future my ass. It's not about who can save it's about who can spend on you, how can a man be wooing a girl without action. Marriage is very hard and finances plays a major role be forming you have money naso you go pay school fees. All we have been teaching her you never learn okay .

micheal kobi said...

Lol so he said he'd rent a house for u in Lagos and buy u a πŸš—car wit driver dats gonna bring u back every weekend.. See better wash, big fat lie... Ain't possible..

Anonymous said...

What kind of godly man has premaritAl sex?

Dre said...

I went through something like this as well. You can be sure that guy isn't happy in his marriage. Wish I could talk too you some more Anon 17:52

Anonymous said...

Dear poster pray about it God has all the answers.I was in the same situation about 13 years ago. I had to choose between two close friends let me name them N and K. I met K at youth Christian camps, he 25 while I was 20. We started of as close friends but along the line while I was 23 and him 28 he wanted more than friendship but I was not ready .We remained very close ,a lot of our friends thought we were dating. When I was 25 he actually brought up the matter again and this time he plaid the marriage card. When K brought up the matter the second time I was very confused because N was also in the picture. I met N at university, he was my roommate best friend over the time we also became close. Both N and K Wanted to settle down with me.K was doing very well financial while N was still struggling. K and I lived in the same city while N lived 600 kilometers from my city. They were both good Christians, both loving and caring, both good looking, K was from my tribe while N was a Maasai (I am from East Africa btw). My close friends and family advised me to choose K and they real had valid point.
I said a very simple prayer to God, my prayer was let relationships with my future husband grow strong. I was specific I prayed for the communication to continue, I also wanted my future husband to share his future plans with, I also wanted a strong bond, in short I wanted clear assurance from God.
Just few weeks after my prayer K started acting funny he stopped calling we had agreed on aour normal Friday evening dates and he gave a very stupid excuse, to cut the long story short that's how God answer my pyayer.
Few months after my prayer N and I became official, our 10th wedding anversary on November last year.
I almost went with K due to financial security but God's plan was N all along and I am glad I trusted God.

Anonymous said...

This poster ended up saying nothing! Women do this your shakara when they are your age. Sister, ride on. You think 30yrs is far? Don't worry, it's just by the corner. Anuohia.

Anonymous said...

And after God reveals his plans you lock him out; no more fasting? Jesus taught fasting as a Christian's lifestyle; at leastthrice a week. Luke 18; Pharisees & tax collector. Matt 5, your righteousness must be > the pharisees

Nobi's Mum said...

Exactly my thoughts when I read about the Ibadan guy. Those are mere words. Saving for his children and grandchildren my foot. All that sounds like wash.

Anonymous said...

Lol.

Anonymous said...

Like Stella said, your husband wish list is empty. How do you adjudge someone that you never gave an opportunity to be stingy. He is obviously prudent but you must give him a chance to know his true self.
He could even buy you the car and house b4 saying I do. Moreso, you just mentioned that he is from a well behaved home and surely counts during the trying times. I must mention here that some ladies are meant to develop affection and love in marriage while it's viz visa for others. Finally, pls marry a matured man who understands how to take care of his home.

Hadey Halaba said...

It happens everyday
Guy madly in love with girl,
Girl loves anoda.

Make a resolve, choose one and let the other go "jejely"

And also bury yur pride... I can sense you have a little bit of it

Cheers dear

ukwu dimond said...

Poster you need e-slap, what is wrong with what he said? If you like keep on wasting your precious time looking for fault, I pity you. Am out biko.

Mao Akuh said...

Make him buy u car first, u tell yr guy say na.loan. U need to pray abt it cos yr bobo na still.small boy that might dump u later o. Ask Jesus.

beautiful godly said...

Marriage is for matured minds. Marriage is not about two people but it involve God .when you want to marry talk to God about the suitor and work on yourself becos they are something your would suitor will not like about you too
From experience those men/ women you are not really into are the one for you bcos they will always tolorate your rubbish and still love. But I don't dig a man/ woman that is stingly no matter the excuse its not worth your effort. A man/ woman should always give selflessly to who they love no matter how little .
For you to know who is the man in the case you need to ask baba God who is your hubby ,he will speak in the language you will understand

Anonymous said...

Ronalda, God bless you.I am in the same situation as the poster except that i am not dating anyone...i will be 25yrs soon.i am still praying though and i know God will make it in such a way that you will be attracted to your soulmate even if he is the ugliest person on this earth...We only pray to find love and what we want soon enough..Marry what you can manage..dont manage what you can marry.Because at the end of the day little things like 'atleast he spends on me' will make you stay put in the marriage when the chips are down.Please more advice on this issue will be deeply appreciated..Me i have not seen where a pastor married an ugly woman oooo.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing..All this i have been on your neck since 1900.Just show them small love they will start misbehaving..Do not date anyone out of pity biko...

Anonymous said...

Hi Guys i see no reasons why some peep will insult this gal.she actually asked for advice that will help her make a good decision since shes blinded to the truth.@ poster,how can you marry some1 u don't feel a thing 4?whats that?my dear pls do not involve yourself with someone you dont luv or cherish.

Anonymous said...

Hi Guys i see no reasons why some peep will insult this gal.she actually asked for advice that will help her make a good decision since shes blinded to the truth.@ poster,how can you marry some1 u don't feel a thing 4?whats that?my dear pls do not involve yourself with someone you dont luv or cherish.

Kay said...

Hmmmmm, Ibadan guy reminds me of my Yoruba demon. Just that he was extremely generous.

My sisters talked me into giving him a try. Turns out he was saying exactly same thing to over 10 girls as he was saying to me. I had to go look their names over again to be sure it wasn't me.

Hmmmm, my dear, always remember talk isn't just cheap but free for most.

Pray... pray... pray some more.

God will guide u and you will be @ peace when he has answered you.

Kay said...

But wait o!

He said he has almost saved enough to pay children's fees in Harvards?

Heywooooo.... I comment my reserve.

Kay said...

Fact is, what u don't like u judge, what you like u justify.

Doesn't make her a fake bitch. Some statements might have come across as off but hey... she's just a confused 25. Don't crusify her yet.

Anonymous said...

Very true. Nice advice Ronalda, u always make sense.
Now to u poster, NEVER marry a man that irritates you. Before I got married I had a guy asking me out but I couldn't imagine ever kissing him talk more of sex. I just let him go, he s a good guy, very OK financially, God fearing but just d sight of him irritated me. I didn't tell him I wasn't sexually attracted to him anyway but I let go and now I'm married to my heartthrob and loving it. Wait for ur Boo!

Tilly said...

Poster you have a problem with both options. It is okay to let both of them go and then you organize your life. The young guy seems like he was your rebound guy after a bad breakup. He was your knight in shinny armour. Maybe now you can see clearly since there are no more tears in your eyes. Be selfish here and think about yourself and what is best for you. Forget both of them,what do you want?

Anonymous said...

That is the reason I love 30years,the age that resets ladies brain.that warri boy will love you for ever and make you laugh but wait till you are 35,if you are lucky he is still available then marry him.

Anonymous said...

Come anon 17:04, what is wrong with you? You are the one with a bad English. The word chiefs is correct. This is one of the best constructed chronicles I have read in this blog.

Isaacson said...

You are truly a phenomenal woman...1000 likes

Anonymous said...

I wonder how a woman can even be considering for marriage a man she is not physically attracted to aand who irritates her in so many other ways. He is stingy,he is local,no chemistry etc. Haba...that alone should have been enough for you to know that's not the man you want to be spending the REST OF YOUR LIFE with! I m married and I know for a fact that there has to be some physical and emotional attraction between husband and wife for the marriage to work or else you are going to end up living as room mates. Pls let that man go and focus on your young boyfriend. If you are totally sure about him,give some other guys that come around you a chance since you are celibate and see if you will have a better option. But the Ibadan guy is way out of it. Good saving ethics(translating into stinginess) alone cannot make a marriage work.

Anonymous said...

u dont like the way he speaks ( i can relate. a big turn off for me too) , the only reason u r considering is because people r saying he's a nice guy and he's somewhat financially secure. my dear, love na love. give urself still anoda chance to love and grow. it doesnt have to be any of the two mentioned here but what i know is when i doubt, stand back. with time, it will all fall into place.

Anonymous said...

OhMGee...my story 12 years ago.....Ah, the guy just saw me on day and said he wants to marry me. I laughed and told him lai lai. He tbought I was just playing hard to get but nah, guy was rich it too local for me. Very razz somebody.

Then I met my hubby and we fell heads over heels in love . Everything was on point. A fellow sapiosexual. We found ourselves in a lovers' paradise. 13 years this year, I ve never for once regretted not going with that other guy. Today, he's in the house of assembly in my state but I don't regret One bit. my hubby beats him on every levels except cash - we are comfortable but not rich ( as he is)

Anonymous said...

I was 24 when I met my husband, he was 26. people tried to discourage me saying he won't be ready and I should marry the rich 35 year old so I will respect him.boo and I were totally in love. We got married 2 years later. He was 29. Most of my friends who said he won't be ready are still waiting. I thank God I follow my mind and don't easily take advice from friends

Anonymous said...

Maybe her godly man is the young bobo. Just because she dislikes the attributes of the rich guy doesn't mean he is right for her. Attraction is important in a marriage. Very very important...

Anonymous said...

Are you sure this guy isn't my friend's husband? Is he an Annang man? πŸ˜‰ He told my friend that ' must be married at 30 story' too, very authoritative and treats her like trash., trash may even be treated better. Infact the guy is a dog. Today, my friend is suffering and smiling in her mansion. You definitely dodged a bullet there

Anonymous said...

Same thing happened to me too.

Silhouette said...

Same story with me, hubby was 2 years older and all my friends that were with older men are still single. I mean all. I'm the only one married as at now

Baby Oku said...

I honestly don't get all these stupid chronicles.....if you don't really like all these men must you be with them? Must you marry now? U have so many things you don't like so why the fuck must you even think of the relationship? Are these the last two men on the planet? Who told you if these relationships don't work another one will not? Pls leave if u don't think they fit your bill for husbands and wait for another relationship...don't let society or people pressure you to accept someone cos time is ticking or you will get old....that's bullshit. Marry when you feel love, simples....

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