Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Wednesday, 4 January 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Na wah...but why?






STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIAGE WITH INTERFERENCE FROM MIL
Hi Stella. The year 2016 has indeed been a very eventful year for me. Before today, i would have said it was the best year ever. I met my husband in 2015, we got married in January 2016 and am a proud mother of a 3 month old baby girl.

Now, here is my dilemma. My husband is from Itseƙiri and he is the 1st son of his mother. I am Yoruba. I noticed not long after we got married that his mother loved interfering in our marriage. I was quiet about that and felt maybe it was still the excitement of her 1st son being married. But i was so wrong.

I read a chronicle here where a woman complained about her MIL that named her baby without her consent and i smiled. That same thing happened to me. 


My husband and I were still in the hospital when my MIL walked in and named my baby. I expected my husband to counter her as we had already named her but he did nothing. She even insisted that the name she gave my baby must be the name we call her. I was pissed but i let it pass again out of respect for her.

As months began to pass i started to notice her interference was getting out of hand. Any decision made by my husband and I must be supported by her and if not it gets thrown of the window.

Today's event was the height. I stood my ground and told my husband that i have had enough. This is my child and i have the right to make decisions about her too. I was carrying my baby in my arms to bath her so i could go get ready for work. Immediately i made the above statement, my husband descended on me. OMG, i have never been so scared for my life and my baby's life. I was thrown on the floor and given the beating of my life. My face still hurts and stings from the numerous slaps and my body hurts from the blows.

I had to call my office in tears to tell them to please excuse me for today. My baby is just 3 months old.

I waited for him to leave for the office and i packed all my things together with my baby. This is the second time of him beating me. I was pregnant the first time. I don't want to wait for the third time at all.

My folks are not even based here so i had to pack to a friend's house. Folks are not even supporting my moving out. They are saying its a part of marriage, its normal and every woman goes through it. I refuse to accept that. What is wrong is wrong. Many woman have died from domestic violence and many are suffering in silence.

I don't have much but i am already looking for a self contain apartment. With the little i have, i will support my little one. God will help me. All i am concerned about now is saving enough for the future of my baby. At 27years, i am already a divorcee. It is well.

Nigerian MILs should learn to stop meddling in their son's home and likewise Men should realise they now have a family of their own.

A man that is supposed to protect me, hurt me. Say no to domestic violence and stand your ground.

I have attached my picture, and my precious little one's picture for your eyes only.


OMG,I am so sorry dear.I really dont know what to say at all but for now you probably made the right choice...Did you ever try talking to you MIL?
I would do that one on one,woman to woman.



216 comments:

1 – 200 of 216   Newer›   Newest»
CrazyHornyWife said...

#mbok

STARRY LARRY said...

This is an advice, thanks for this, may you find love soon




*Larry was here*

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

I'm happy you have left the house for that bastard!...
Imagine laying his hands on a nursing mother...
God forbid!...
I know you will soon go back sha when he comes back pleading!...
Women and their fish brain!...

CrazyHornyWife said...

Fear of domestic violence in maarriage/relationship is the beginning of wisdom.
African parents please stop encouraging it because of society talks!!!!! This same society 'll ask you why didn't your daughter leave the marriage when she eventually dies!!!

Blackberry said...

Hmmmm! I put it to you that you'll still go back to ur 'beatband'.

Doppelgänger said...

You're blaming your MIL rather than the devil who hita you even while carrying his child.
At first I thought this was just an issue of interference by a MIL but as soon as I got to the DV part my rage increase. Like what the actual hell.
Getting beaten up for whatever reason is not part of marriage and will never be.
It's not the first time he'd do it and it obviously won't be the last. Your marriage is just a year and such a mess already.
Will I say you didn't know he was this way? Well I'm sure you knew but you thought he'd change.
My dear, if you have ears please listen. You have only 1 child and you have a job according to you.
Please don't go back, you said it yourself that women die from DV please don't join those women who have passed as a result of it. You need to live for your baby cos if you die today in the hands of that beast he'd marry another woman who'd maltreat your child.
Do not look back. Your MIL is not the problem but the beast you married.
She can influence him because he allows it.

Teddy said...

It is well with you. The Lord will see you through. All these chronicles are scaring me oooo...na so marriage dey be?

Single Mom said...

Try and have a one on one talk with your MIL

She-who-must-not-be-named said...

Poster, like Stella advised, try to talk to her one on one. Its a shame that you have a very pathetic hubby. He's supposed to protect you. Anyways, talk to her. If that does not help then talk to your pastor or someone that your hubby respects and listens to. Goodluck

Francis ezekwonna said...

am so sorry about what happened but are you sure you are not the cause of your problem?
every woman might not make the move you made.
wish you well in your new endeavour

peace maker said...

Madam. U brought ur woes on urself.Why can't u just respect d woman d same way u respect ur mother? I know u must hv said something very rude + hurtful about his mum that made him to beat u up.

Becky Divine said...

I love this poster!
If every Nigerian woman woman in a domestic violent relationship is as brave as you...then this DV shit won't be as bad as it is now!

My dear you did the right thing leaving, don't mind what those folks and world people are saying cos none of them were there to weep with you. And none of them will die with you if he kills you one day.

Just face your baby and your work for now and forget everything about that horseband of yours for now...when he eventually comes begging don't listen to him! If you later choose to go back to him, make him suffer and give him conditions this time around.

But left to me I'd say don't go back again! He'll never change and you are better off without him and his crazy mother

Bekee-Bekee said...

Wow @ Poster, sorry about your predicament. Your Husband has no right to hit you.

That's how its starts and then its graduates to murder. Please manage for now, do not return to that man.

#newstaffbusforideato



Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

Oh wow! I wasn't expecting the end from the beginning. So are you saying that your MIL isn't in support of you being a working mum so she informed your husband and your husband decided to plummet you to send the message across? Is that what you're saying?

Foolish men dey sha. Men who can't handle their shit 👎🏽 glad you moved out. He needs space and a possible brain reset. I hope he has better friends and family who can tell him the truth.
Unlike your parents my dad always says on the traditional marriage day that he is holding his daughter'S room key. He will lock it in case she decides to return with valid reason she is free to and for that reason he will take reasonanle bride price so he can return it if there is need to. But his prayer is that there will be no need to In Jesus name. Everyone answer: Aaameeeen. That way he has sent a subtle message.

After that You come and see how inlaws will be God-forbiding and debunking and denouncing 😂😂 it's always funny. But na cases like this dey make the man no wan take chances. Some families treat someone's daughter like trash.

Anonymous said...

Some mother in law are like that. The problem I have with mine is that till they pass on me and their son will always celebrate Xmas and new year with them reason is that he's their first son that after they pass on he will be the head of the family and continue from where they stop. I was told about this before I accepted to marry their son sometimes I miss being in charge and celebrating the season with my friends coming over to my place to celebrate but January 10 is wen me and my husband do celebrate ours.... Its been 13 good years now and I am already used to it. I dare not talk about it because the first time I tried it I saw the otherside of my man luckily our both parents live in same zone...... I would've advise u to stay but I am not in support of dv

peace maker said...

I don't think any man with home training will tolerate anyone even his own wife insulting his precious mum. U can marry 6 wives eg Sunny Ade but can only hv one mother.

queen hadassah said...

Poster you made the right move. Your MIL should marry her son. Please just in case they threaten you, there's this group on fb- the due process advocates DPA. Join the group and become a member. The admin of that group is a no-nonsense lawyer. Report your case to him.

nkiru Iwuchukwu said...

My dear so sorry on what happened! Once a woman beater always a beater. Seems your husband is his mummy boy, can't stand his ground as a man. My dear sister do what is best for you and your child, because when you are beaten to death your husband will marry another woman. We only live once.

Madam Small Chops said...

I don't think any man will stand by and watch his mum being disrespected (am assuming the tone and choice of words) but if you were really polite about the whole stuff and he beat you up then he has a problem and needs to be checked out asap.


Did your parents support your moving out? I think your marriage can be salvaged if both families interfers.

I think you should go back on the condition your husband signs an undertaking that he will never hit you.Your mother - in-law needs to learn to respect you/ your home.


What do you like about your husband? Think on these things it will help you heal.


I pray your marriage works out .I pray sweetness returns to your home at least for the sake of your baby.

becky naka said...

Peace maker if are a woman beater u better desist from such act.

Poster this is too early now, didn't u pray before accepting his proposal, I would have advised u give him another chance, but once the beatings starts it never stops. May God help you.

Anonymous said...

Dis james u are very stupid o!am sure are a wife beater! E bu oya ra'! Efulefu! She shd be staying in a house whr d husband wld be panel beating her bah? U just a very big fool! Peace maker indeed! Mscheeeeew!

Anonymous said...

Dis james u are very stupid o!am sure are a wife beater! E bu oya ra'! Efulefu! She shd be staying in a house whr d husband wld be panel beating her bah? U just a very big fool! Peace maker indeed! Mscheeeeew!

Anonymous said...

Your lack of wisdom and high rate of stupidly is disgusting! You need to be delivered
You spit nonsense on all your comments

Poster: I feel like you rushed to get married:( .im very happy youre not the 'my husband is beating me,what should I don't types
Please get your own place . I'll keep you in my prayers

Anonymous said...

I agree

Dope PH BaBe said...

Madam pls pause the hunt for house, if your hubby comes to beg give him the condition of putting his mother off your home in terms of decision making and promise never to raise his hand on you. If he agrees them reconcile and go back. Pls the case is not that bad yet to move out and brand yourself divorcee. Divorce should come last after all efforts has been made to work things out. Pls reconsider.

ITz_Gee said...

MIL THESE DAYS SOME OF THEM ACT LIKE THEY ARE SENT IN FROM THE PIT OF HELL TO TORMENT YOUNG COUPLES NAWAH @POSTER YOU DID THE RIGHT THING FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR LITTLE ONE GET A RESTRAINING ORDER IF NEED BE THE GUY IS A WEAKLING GOD WOULD REMAIN YOUR STRENGTH YOU WILL PULL THROUGH THIS DIFFICULT PHASE

Anonymous said...

Any man that beats a woman talkless of his wife is a cow and coward put together!

But my issues with women is; what do you folks do during courtship; different styles of sex? You spend time to learn sex and not character. This is the result. Most times, during a well planned courtship, these bullying characters show but when your whole thought process is occupied with "doggie style", "monkey style", abortions, money etc (not saying that this is the case with this poster). you do not get to see them.

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

This is sad.
*Its abnormal for a man to hit a woman* But why? Does he hit his friends or boss when angry then why hit your own flesh? 👎
Am glad you are been strong for yourself and kid cos you really need sometime alone. I hope he repents of his evil beating syndrome and comes back begging.
It is well dear.

GenevieveNwa said...

Stella sef... Talking one on one wit a 'nigerian MIL'?! I pirri u! It seldom wrk here

Anonymous said...

Not all marriages are some type of way love..I've been married for 10 years and my husband has been a sweetheart since the day I met him. You just have to be prayerful

Anonymous said...

Girl you are not a "divorcee", you left your husband's home and it can still be worked out.

Jasmine said...

Ur mother in law self!!!

Well, thank God for men that av a mind of their own o.

Madam, did u say he laid his hands on u when u were pregnant? Wow!!!

Speechless biko

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

There's I don't want to reply anyone's comment. But there's NO excuse for beating a woman up. NONE. Whether she disrespected you or your mum or whatever. There's no excuse for beating a pregnant or nursing mother up!! Jeez....

Anonymous said...

Your dad is the real MVP
I always get angry when parents of DV victims tell them to remain in the marriage

NORTH DAKOTA SIOBHAN said...

Gbam! It's a pity to be separated @ 27, but hey, your life and that of your baby is more important.you will be fine poster, and I dare say you did the right thing moving out.


Carpe Diem.

Ehi hairs and wigs UK said...

It's a good thing you are not letting them bully you, but I think you need time to heal before you can make a concrete decision.

Anonymous said...

Poster you made the right decision
MILs should learn to know their place
And Husbands stop being a baby
She should go and marry her son now and have kids for him since she wont let you have a say in your own family and enjoy your marriage in peace. Apart from your MILs meddling issues your husband is naturally a wife beater. Good you left . may you find peace with yourself. Regards to your little one #SayNoToDomesticViolence

Loveme Jeje said...

Na wa. Problems everywhere.

May God fix this problem for you

Hanny said...

Stand your ground and do not accept evil.
Pit is a lie of the devil that every woman goes through domestic violence. My parents have been married for 41 years and my father has never beaten my mother. I have been married for 10 years and same!!

The same people saying it is not a big deal are the same that will say you should've left if he eventually kills you...

Leave am , make him mama marry am. Maybe they're already sharing more than mother and son relationship, who knows?

It's only a cursed man that lays his head on a woman, how much more a pregnant and/ or nursing one.

Where una de carry all these kain men marry sef?

charitybino said...

No one should tolerate domestic violence.

Dope PH BaBe said...

Hello, people do change, it's an individual thing. if the hubby promise not to raise his hands on her again and later beat her then she can end the marriage.

Atheist ™ said...

Moving out of that toxic military zone was the best move, ive always warned women to have some sort of leverage to hold onto in a marriage, it helps you filter the bullshit you can take from any man. If u ask me you both rushed into marriage without giving it enough time to study eachother, well, i know some ppl meet & hook the knot in 3-4months but its not like clockwork for everyone, if u study the 5 stages of love/relationship, the Romance stage (drug addiction stage) last for 8-12months, thats when u have loads of butterflies in ur tummy & u feel u can even donate ur liver/kidney, then the Power struggle stage follows.... before the "See finish" stage comes, which so many couple dont cross, thats where even ur choice of ringtone can cause wahala... so personally ive always adviced 2yrs max b4 marriage, at least get to see the person finish, life is short, Yes... but 4ever with one person is a pretty long time, 2yrs minus 4ever is worth it, trust me.... so poster, hes the same man that was showering n chokin u with xcess love, its just that hes mostly at the 3rd stage, & i doubt he would have married u if he dated u for 3yrs. well, im glad u didnt sit in that house like a puppet, maybe we'll all be shocked if Lilian sent in her Chronicle, lol....

peace maker said...

Hmmmmmmmmm!!!!! Madam. Why did ur dh beat u up d first when u were pregnant?
U never said his mum caused it .
I hope u r not rude or run ur mouth anyhow like tap.
A neighbor always exchange words + fight with his ex wife.but since he married one nice girl like that.it's been 5 years and we never hear their voice even for one day

Chidinma Grace said...

No matter what a woman does, u don't av right to beat her as a husband and vice versa. If u are provoked beyond repair, hit a wall. Say no to DV. Mother in laws, leave to children to run their home themselves. Come in when invited bc that's bible standard. A man will leave his parents and cling to his wife.

Adanma said...

I imagine the kind of evil woman that raised someone like you..Tufia! May no one I know never come across such a person as you or a family like yours🙏🙏🙏🙏

Victoria's Heart said...

Becky i totally agree with all you've said. Dear poster please don't go back there, even if he comes begging don't go back

CrazyHornyWife said...

I guess if he hits again and she dies then the case 'll be bad!!!!!
SMH

Fluffy cake by Big Mamma Lagos 07056157039 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
CrazyHornyWife said...

I don't have one but I agree it won't work,instead more heat 'll come up!!!

Betty said...

And the solution is to descend on her and pummel her to oblivion? There is NO excuse for violence. NONE!! not even for the sake of GOD, how much more someone earthly.

Lemme pass sha, cos I know the kind of slavery you people are engaged in and call it marriage.

Thank God for my husband and his family.

Great Pretender said...

your mother in-law own too much. I started calling my baby a particular name while I was pregnant. in fact, she responds well. unfortunately, I gave birth on Easter day. Na so all of them husband people said the child already came with a name. that she'll b called Esther. i just de look them. during the naming, I told the pastor that he should follow the order in which the names were written. Hubby supported me. Na so the name Esther become shadow for my house o.

Tayan Taylor said...

Hope you did not insult the mother, because that is provocative

CrazyHornyWife said...

I agree with you but pls don't call d mom crazy!!!!
Parents 'll always want to be involved in their kids life no matter the age/marital status,it's left for the kids to nicely put them off!!!

AGELESS T said...

1000 likes

Adanne said...

Oga emekwanu gini QnB, of course she will go back.

Tessbaby said...

Hahahaha blackberry ure mean.


Poster u just moved out today n ure still hurt n angry. 2mrw might b same so ill say u tru intent will b decided on same time next week. Kpele

Atheist ™ said...

The MIL is also the problem, she's the instigator & DV architect, her beast does the rest.

Tessbaby said...

Noah. I wonder y ur family people left ur dick n decided 2 use ur brains 4 ritual.

xxxTrinityxxx said...

Wow your husband is evil. Beating you and then you had the baby in your arms and he didn't care. As you well know,your MIL is the problem here.her son is tied around her apron strings. He might be a mummys not or it might be jazz. Who knows. Trial seperation works best for now. Pray that God relases your husband from his mom's apron strings. I pray God makes me a good MIL when the time comes. I would hate to make another person's life miserable just cos she married my son

Adanne said...

If you ask me, before you left you would have sat your MIL down and talk some sense into her, I mean checking her so she will know her place.

I didn't quite get if MIL was living with you or not, but if she was, na silent treatment sure pass, she would have left your house without you asking. Btw, what's up with your mom, that your MIL 'had to come for omugwu'?


Sorry You hear, you will be fine

The Lifted said...

The fact that he beat u up in pregnancy & has done it a second time is the reason you should leave & I thank God for giving you the strength to have made that decision,you are a strong woman & you will make it & also find a deserving man soon, oh my God! that man is an animal,let him fuck he's mama...pls let society (mostly parents learn to support their daughters passing facing domestic violence) its not fair your parents asked you to stay, we know things are not easy,mostly the economy,still we have to move away from abusive relationships

Anonymous said...

You're a moron. Is that your excuse for supporting DV? How many men like him has he beaten for insulting him...especially conductors that can insult for Africa. If none then the man is a motherfucking coward and goat. Why would another woman control my home? There is a difference between a mother and wife. Men should learn the difference so they can have a peaceful home

Anonymous said...

Stop talking from both sides of your mouth. DV is wrong no matter what

peace maker said...

Any woman that truly love her hubby will not run her mouth against him or talk back when he is annoyed. When he is annoyed keep ur mouth shut.But unless d man is a lazy poor man that cannot provide for his family. The woman is allowed do rubbish him

Happyheart said...

Don't go back, he will hit you again.Stella you can do one on one with your mother in law cos she is white and has a different mindset. Try it here and you will be called disrespectful.

Anonymous said...

You will always remain a big fool. May your female children be beaten by their husbands. May your male children be beaten by their wives.
Better don't reject it because even God no go answer you.

Useless he goat. Whatever you dish out will return to you and your offspring if you have any in double measure

Anonymous said...

Bastard

DOMINA said...

Poster, I'm happy you left. Thanks for standing up for yourself.

If he comes back to beg, make sure you get him to sign an undertaken or affidavit that he'll never hit you again.

Since your parents are not helping matters, get a lawyer friend that can advise you before you move back in.

Finally, save enough money secretly for yourself incase he decides to allow Devil use him again.

Anonymous said...

"Brand yourself a divorcee" what kind of comment is this! May God help us Nigerians oh

God forbid this man ends up killing her or she snaps and kills him, I hope you will remember your advice!

Anonymous said...

My husband hits me too ,why are men so heartless?what iv learned these days is to keep quiet when he starts raking because when i talk i say all sorts!!! The truth is usually bitter thats what iv discovered,your hubby knows his mum is a nuisance in your marriage but fails to accept...if he's beaten you twice,I suggest you go back and give my advice a try,just let him and his mum do as they like,when you've kept quiet for so long they will realize the loudness of your silence and no one will tell them b4 they behave themselves.

Mosi Jubelo said...

Wife beater even while pregnant.
You've made the right decision.
If he kills you nko? What will you tell God? Who will take care of your child.
We should learn to stop taking nonsense.
Anyone that says you should stay should help you go and stay there.
Even though you seem like you'll still go back due to pressure.

But honestly, now he knows he's not one alpha and omega.

If you go back, I doubt he'll touch you again.

Nonsense men

Anonymous said...

God bless you. There is no more courtship with the youth of this generation. All the signs must have been there from the onset.

Anonymous said...

I AM TYPING IN CAPS BECAUSE I AM UPSET.

ANY MAN THAT HITS A WOMAN IS A BASTARD COWARD.N YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY EXCUSE TO HIT.

WHY DON'T YOU HIT YOUR FEMALE COLLEAGUES AT WORK WHEN THEY UPSET YOU? OR YOUR FEMALE BOSS? BECAUSE YOU DEY LOOK FACE ABI? YOU CANNOT TRY IT WITH THEM YET YOU WILL GO HOME AND BE DOING MIKE TYSON.

SILLY TWAT. OSHISCOS

AND FOR THOSE OF YOU SUPPORTING DV, SAYING SHE SHOULD WATCH WHAT SHE SAYS OR SHE WAS RUDE BLA BLA, IS THAT ANY JUSTIFICATION? WHAT HAPPENED TO DISCUSSING OR HAVING A FUCKING CONVERSATION LIKE GROWN ASS ADULTS?

I NEVER SAW MY DAD PUSH OR BEAT MY MUM SO IT IS STRANGE TO ME. LIKE MY MUM SAYS, THEM NEVER BORN THE MAN WEY GO BEAT MY CHILDREN.


Zivah said...

Hmmmm...... Itsekiri people get so much pride o. And are very controlling in their own way. The MIL will never back down cuz that's the way she knows how to love her son. Try to call his mum every now and then and pretend to honour her. Perhaps she'll calm down. That's if youve not gone back already caz it seems like your chronicles of from last year. No to domestic violence!

Zivah said...

On another note, is the MIL that bad? Like seriously maybe you misunderstand her due to the socio cultural background or differences. Just saying.

Candy YumYum (MIND SO MILITARY) said...

it wont change anything

Lora said...

Don't be scared honey,it's actually sweet!
May God direct us to the right person

DonMayor 👑 said...

Sorry madam. Hope you won't go back in three months time for more beating.

AdeEsther (Do you work and live in Abuja, Lagos, ph $ ibadan? do you need a quick loan upto 2.5m without collateral?call/whatsapp 07037873466 said...

Please we need the gist in full. You have to open up if you need an advise.may God help you..pele dear

Brown Sucre said...

Thank God you left.
Pls don't talk to your mother inlaw,if she is always meddling,confronting her won't be the best,what would you tell her?
I know he will come begging,and I know you will consider going back because of what you parents,siblings, and society will say, always remember that when he kills you,you alone will be in the coffin,six feet below.

THE GOD Father said...

i pity girls/ladies that thinks like this . Have you not seen someone who married a pastor and he became a demon afterwards, Have you not seen an SU lady who became a club girl after settling down with kids sef? See the human is complex specie , do not assume that certain traits or behaviors will continue for life , that will be any body greatest undoing. even for good folks certain things can trigger the beast in them , not to now talk of Africa where someone can be influenced spiritually . Ultimately as much as i m not a a good xtian (work in progress) i m smart enough to know its only God that can help us when it comes to this thing called marriage.

Jennah said...

Sincerely poster you could still manage your Hubby better, no matter the level of interference from his mothe. However if you wish to continue with the marriage just ignore the two of them this is what I would have advice you if I had knoan about this issue before now. In fact if your hubby seek your opinion on anything tell him to seek his mom opinion first and whatever she says if fine by you. God will give you wisdom to handle the whole issue

God's Favourite said...

May 2017 bring us to a path where bitterness, anger and hatred do not exist.
May the path of the wicked never cross ours.
May we be protected under the wings of the almighty.
May our 2017 end in praise.
May we be products of testimonies and unending breakthroughs.
May our marriages be made in heaven and may the gates of hell not prevail against it.
God bless us all.

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

Nawa oooh
Thank God for my MIL she is just the best.....may God continue to keep her for me.
Some women dey see shege for their husband's house.
Poster, please don't die in silence, u can separate from him for the main time after all u have a job to take care of ur self n ur child.
I know you will go back but think twice before going back to avoid stories that touches.
Good luck.

Anonymous said...

I don't really understand what the issue is.Is it bcoz he hit you or bcoz your MIL interferes in your marriage or did your MIL interference lead to your been beaten?i can't type more until I understand.

Greenlander said...

I also agree that you give him conditions if you have to return home, but no just conditions in mouth o. My dear, get a lawyer to get him to sign papers stating never to hit you, and what will happen if he does hit you again. It is well with you.

Adanne said...

I couldn't agree more chikito, no excuse whatsoever.

Isaacson said...

Nicely said...i always look for ur advices,u give good advices

Anonymous said...

Be careful with this narrator. My instincts tell me he/she is a calculative thief looking for sympathy and how to corner people's money this new year. Your story is fake as they come. Not everybody can be fooled. Even if it's true, you must be stupid to challenge your mother in-law and your husband without having any back up. Thirdly, I think you don't deserve a husband, go and be a single mother baby mama. Marriage is not for thwarts.

Adanne said...

Bottom line.. he beats her

Anonymous said...

Plss poster don't listen to anyone especially this jobless lowself esteem Nigeria women who thinks there life is meaningless without a man, don't mind them o, that was what they did to a school mate of mine who wanted to get a divorce cause of domestic violence people told her to go back since the husband promised not to hit her and allow her work she stupidly accepted. Well her burial is next week Tuesday while the man family are begging.pls I repeat don't accept pressure from low worth women o. Pls also remember the recent dv victim ifeoma okeke ojiakor she was lucky to be alive o a wife beater never change pls.Marriage is not a do or die affair at least for the sake of ur daughter.Stella post my comment o

Isaacson said...

Yes dear I agree with you,if every woman is as brave as the poster then DV will be curbed for good

Anonymous said...

Oloriburuku Mashanfani. Your mother obviously did a poor job in bringing you up

JACINTA MBACHU said...

Terrible. What women go through all in the name of marriage. May God help us

Bukipreety said...

Na WA ooo

Anonymous said...

The bible says children obey your parents, but once you are old enough to marry you are no longer a child. So when your parents interfere in your marriage, you should thank them but stand your ground because you are no longer a child. Imagine the mother of a wife beater interfering in how a mother raises her own child. Like seriously, see what the child you raised turned into. I've always said parents in Nigeria don't give enough support to their daughters. How in the world would you insist your daugther stays in a violent situation just to save face? Poster, thank God you have been schooled the SDK way and you have removed yourself from the violent situation. Women please strive to achieve financial independence and don't have too many children so if something goes wrong you can stand on your own and are not left at the mercy of so called family that will force you to stay in a toxic relationship so that people won't laugh at them. Your life is more important than your parents pride!

Pretty Barrister said...

I love you for this comment. However, a bad man can later be good the same way a good man can be bad

peace maker said...

Got one tall fine girl like that at d wedding of a friend. Few month into d relationship I discovered that she pass my power.always looking for trouble + fault where there is none. On her fourth visit, I told her that I'm no longer interested in the relationship. She said it is bcoz I cannot get what I want.I told her since I can't get what shouldn't the honorable thing be to find my way. She did apologize for her manners, we did it dat day + up to six more times but with CD always b4 I finally ran away gradually for my dear life

Anonymous said...

How dare you type that. And you are a woman.... So the best way to have solved the 'disrespect' is by beating a young lady nursing a 3 month old child. The heart of Man, including you madam small chops is really wicked.

Great lady said...

Mrs, you made the right move. Move out whether anyone supports it or not, don't let him find out the place you are, stay there till he comes and beg you and get a lawyer so he signs an agreement that such of domestic violence from him again will attract something from him.
As for his mum, keep on standing on your ground and tell her you are a strong woman too, one day she will learn to mind herself.
Domestic violence should never be tolerated, it's not a part of marriage.

NP: you moved out from your home doesn't make you a divorcee yet, stop claiming divorcee because if you finally get a divorce at this early stage of marriage, you will regret it forever. He is still your husband.

Doppelgänger said...

Atheist that is a bad Conclusion because I didn't see anywhere in the chronicle where the MIL asked the man to hit his wife.
The woman is controlling yes but has it stopped responsible men with mothers like that to do what is right?
There is a popular saying that "pikin wey dem no teach well for house go learn outside"
Let's assume he was raised to believe that hitting women is right, he is educated I'd like to assume, has it read it anywhere that it's right? Doesn't he have mates or married friends who don't beat their wives? Why can't he learn from them instead of using his mother as an excuse and avenue for bad behaviour.
In my opinion,he alone is to be blamed because the bible says "a man shall leave his mother and his father and cling to his wife"
He is the one breaking his vows not his mother.
Young lady, if you listen and go talk to the woman you will only compound your problems.
You should hold your husband accountable for his actions.
The woman will always take her sons side so you have already lost this battle.
I rest my case

Miyake said...

This same rule of non violence should apply to children too, in fact most importantly. No adult should raise their filthy hands against children, whether theirs or not. That's how it is in developed countries. Children can't protect themselves so they should be protected. How and why should a stupid child beater say no to domestic violence?

Jay Udoo said...

May God bless your father.

queen hadassah said...

Please what's the relationship btw Easter and Esther?

Imu Wiya said...

Poster, read and re-read Brown Sucre's advice. C'est finis

Cherry Wine said...

Poster please do not go back even if he comes to beg or say he would sign undertaking or such, I saw a story on one of those insta blogs yesterday, about a fin woman whose husband been beating her for the past 10 years even tho he signed undertaking sef, her dad told her he had collected dowry and drank that she should manage, till when?
I'm sorry it had to be Like this but please for your life and baby do not go back, let him be Sorry and repent from afar. After the beating, death follows #SayNoToDomesticViolence

Anonymous said...

Peace Maker, you are correct. God bless you. Rude girls everywhere just like that Ilah girl is so rude to my Mum. Divorce nah biko! Who cares! Na u and ur God.

Anonymous said...

Your instincts??? Judgemental much??? My instincts tell me you are a cold, heartless, harsh, and unforgiving excuse for a human being.#sueme

Becky Divine said...

@CrazyHornyWife okay i apologize for calling the mom crazy but what she did to poster ain't fair jare

BLUNT said...

A carefully edited story for the small-minded. "Self-contain"...blah bla.. Oya hit the road and fully engage in that act you temporarily suspended after you got married. You're already referring to yourself as a "divorcee" when your marriage hasn't been repealed. That thing wey don dey hungry you, you now have all the time. Go and do it. I wish you well.

Sugar Dropx said...

This story is somehow

Anonymous said...

Atheist is right.
The mother is the architect, every mother knows her child, she definately knows her son has anger issues, so why push his button, especially towards his wife, she should be the peacemaker in that house, not contributing fuel to fire.

Nikeh El' said...

Well said..

Anonymous said...

Doppel, ur comments are good, but its so obvious ure not yet married, jst pray, pray u don't get a bad MIL, you'd see the holes in ur comments, you can't say the MIL isn't a problem in that house, do u know some MIL can go to juju house for you? Just so their son will chase u out of the house? You never see anything, like i said just pray. Some men beating their wives isn't with clear eye sef.

Anonymous said...

Doppel, ur comments are good, but its so obvious ure not yet married, jst pray, pray u don't get a bad MIL, you'd see the holes in ur comments, you can't say the MIL isn't a problem in that house, do u know some MIL can go to juju house for you? Just so their son will chase u out of the house? You never see anything, like i said just pray. Some men beating their wives isn't with clear eye sef.

African Barbie said...

Ive never insulted anybody on this blog before but you are a hslf baked moron, an idiot and a total nuisance. Your stupidity leavr me speechless. Asshole

Iphie dearie said...

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Nonye Inspired (James Bond's Girl) said...

Dear Poster: What I will advise you to do is to see a good counsellor i recommend Aunty Landa Of Inspiration Fm. Dont call yourself a divorcee yet because God is about to do something..Its good you move out cos your life and the baby's are more important but dont give up on your marriage too soon..Give it one last try ok..am so sorry about what happened.

You can also approach your mother-in-law with an elderly person that she respects and pour out your heart to her and she how she takes it.She may understand where you are coming from..All the best..

Nonye Inspired (James Bond's Girl) said...

Dear Poster: What I will advise you to do is to see a good counsellor i recommend Aunty Landa Of Inspiration Fm. Dont call yourself a divorcee yet because God is about to do something..Its good you move out cos your life and the baby's are more important but dont give up on your marriage too soon..Give it one last try ok..am so sorry about what happened.

You can also approach your mother-in-law with an elderly person that she respects and pour out your heart to her and she how she takes it.She may understand where you are coming from..All the best..

Anonymous said...

Rude girls everywhere and they come to the Internet to form holy and I didn't Utter a word, we should never judge any situation and she already tagged herself a divorcee chai men yaff suffer. It doesn't ball down to the men involved alone, some women are not ripe not ready for marriage they misbehaves when they see one side bobo or lovingyou kinda guy. If your mum was the one involve in Ur marital life, would U av complained?

Anonymous said...

Story of my life.....mine na evil FIL and MIL....hubby na serious fada's and mama's boy. He would come back begging, but it's a good idea you leave for a while. 'It is well'

Madam Small Chops said...

@Anony pardon me for not typing what you want to read.

I would have ignored your comment but just want to remind you that its MY Opinion!!!


I hate domestic violence , I hate a wife beater , I also hate Broken home.I am for make it work and if it doesn't work everyone walks.


That's why i kinda suggested both families interfers.Did you read the part i said the husband needs to be checked.I assume the husband has anger issues and needs to visit a therapist.


I am single by the way, I always ask myself what will i do if it were to be me before commenting and in this case i will try to make it work before i walk.

Forget husband and wife matter biko, If they reconcile tomorrow will you know?? Lets be real biko.

Arsenal Firstlady said...

Bold step you took dear. Is better to be a divorcee than death. Don't mind all this busybody mother in laws. I don't blame my cousin that said she won't marry any man his mum is still alive.

Anonymous said...

I know a doctor in Abuja dt does same to his wife. Infact he will beat her and leave her naked in the presence of their kids. You know yourself o. God help you!

HOUSE OF LAWOF said...

Not all marriages, some marriages are heavenly though it is normal to have little quarrels like siblings also do but trust me there are still some cool marriages.

crouchingTigress said...

I pity u.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm......it's pple like u dat keep telling women to go back to receive beatings till they are killed. An undertaken won't stop him.
For the sake of her baby you say? If she dies, is it in the baby's interest?
Poster pls don't think about what you like about your husband cos dats what will make u keep going back to his wrath.

Pray and ask for God to intervene. If u both are meant to be, it will work out perfectly for you. It's not your fight but God's now.

Anonymous said...

Doppelganger, will d mother say it in her presence, what of if she is acting underground. My hubby almost hit me bcos of this same issue. MIL wnt to knw when we sex,eat, sleep,if I don't allow my hubby to touch me for a week, she call me nd give me serious warning, now she wants hubby and I to move in with her. I need strength to deliver safely bcos d wahala is too much

Shy Artsy gal... said...

Anti I seriously doubt that... Poster U will die in silence if u do this. What I know is that if a man loves u he won't hit. If a woman loves u she would speak with love.. May God help us all. #mayMrrightfindmeIJN#

Chinny Baby said...

Poster please do not go back to that monster of a man.

Anonymous said...

But your instincts has made U believe the man is All to be blamed, don't just judge without placing where they both got it wrong, lay your points and let her know where she as well got it wrong. She won't just tell you what she did

peace maker said...

Anon15:49 u can go anonymous on Stella's blog to make ur comment.
My response to u on Instagram subsists.

Anonymous said...

My instinct tells me you are not matured for marriage. Marriage is not f××k relationship. I pity the men that will marry all these ladies. Ogaool

peace maker said...

Why do u people shout down & condemn anyone that suggest that this poster could hv triggered off d beating by her dh? Couldn't it be possible?
Why is it that it's only a very tiny percentage of women that suffer beating by their dh? Couldn't it be possible that this small fraction of women are always troublesome and uncouth even at home?

Anonymous said...

Evil man

Anonymous said...

Because I have seen dv and know that no reason justify it! Today I put it to you that you shall be fustrated ,marriage wil torment you! As you have refused to have sense may ever evil you have laughed at instead of keeping shut here be your own and you alone!

Anonymous said...

I'm a 47 years old man and I can tell you that people rarely change.

Dope PH BaBe said...

Hmmm thought am the only one that saw the divorce.

Dope PH BaBe said...

Seconded

Anonymous said...

Very stupid man what if something had happened to her or the pregnancy?
This man has zero care for his wife or kids. Evil man i spit on you for raising your hand on your wife the mother of your kids...sppppppiiiiiit

prettyi said...

Your stupidity since your James day has been obvious, but why do you have to keep reminding us?

prettyi said...

May this your insinits bring your a husband /wife like this! May it put you in this same situation so you have not just insinits but reality! Amin/ Amen

Olabanji Olajide said...

Stella sit down one on one and discuss??😕😕 not in Nigeria.. The MIL can get offended n SLAP YOU.. T

Miss Kay said...

Watch war room! From your self con of course, i just did

Miss Kay said...

I agree the story is twisted, but it is a no no, to hit you

Florence Komolafe said...

Women running der mouth doesnt give a man any reason to hit her.so pls do not approve of DV for any reason

Anonymous said...

Whats d fuck is dis fool typing all around.

Obum said...

It is only a tiny percentage that you get to hear about. Others don't talk about it due to fear or induced mental illness. Which is why it is very important to voice out the evil consequences of DV, so others can be liberated. Remember even the children that watch get affected by it.

Anonymous said...

@blunt... I've never seen anyone as stupid as you are, and I can swear you are a woman.. Fool

Anonymous said...

It's best you love your self.
Please let the MIL equally seek help for herself and cut off the umblical cord. The Son should also seek help. All parties involved may the Holy spirit heal and restore them.
Sorry what you went through. Your pain which you been keeping bc vocal.Do what's best for you away from toxic environment is best.
My dear precious ladies may the Lord be your refuge may the Lord heal you. May the Lord grant you Favor like Esther.
God knows what's best for you. Seek His face and practice His présence. Loneliness is not funny.
I had shared on this blog where I was warned by prophet how a guy who intends to marry me still tied to Mothers umblical cord. Name he didn't give. I discarded that warning sef bc no guy was even tossing me. Months later it happen it didn't even register to me. So I asked God God was like Nope! As human as I can be. I fought temptation tried to reason. I ran for my life. Then few months later I was meditating I remember the prophet warning. I started laughing like Sarah. See I am glad I saw for my self and heard from God and choose to obey God by His Grace. I reckon seek God for yorslf and hear bfore emotions take over reasoning. I don't recommend prophetic. I didn't seek to know from the prophet but he decided to warn me before hand.
God bless.

anonymous?lol said...

Blunt biko elaborate! Before I waste my emotions feeling sorry for woman Wey no deserve am!

As we get older we learn not to swallow one-sided stories, no matter how pitiful it sounds, & especially when man & woman dey involved.

Anonymous said...

Who told you its only a small fraction of women? Who told you that? They are beating many but they all pretend. So you are saying there is a way a woman will behave towards you that you will beat her? Na wa oh.

Anonymous said...

Blunt, I noticed her calling herself a divorcee too but it might just mean that she's done with him, she cannot stay with someone who doesn't care about the safety of their child, he could potentially kill her or the child one of these days and doesn't see herself looking back again. If you look at it that way and she plans or hopes to meet someone who would love her and treat her right in the future, the divorce would be inevitable and so calling herself a divorcee already wouldn't be far-fetched.

Just be careful how you twist people's tales of woe against them. Your kind of comment might be one of the reasons why a lot of women remain in abusive marriages and eventually get killed because they don't want to be accused of leaving abusive husbands just so they can be free to sleep around or so that they can go shavk up with boy/menfriends etc. just don't victimize the victims, they need support and encouragement; not further victimization......... Just Saying

Anonymous said...

Madam it's well... doh... dust yourself up its not the end of the world... it's not easy as a single parent and you likely hv 2 go back but make sure he realises ur value b4 going back 2 him. just save as much as u can cause if he can beat you during pregnancy n. Nursing he will do much more. Avoid confrontations n do what is in ur mind after dem talk their own.

Anonymous said...

Met 2015 married 2016 and had baby 9 months later. Too fast too fast. And she's only 27. Where was she rushing to? If you met him in 2015 didn't you think it would be wise to get to know each other a bit more before having baby? At least then you would have been leaving now with no baby. Anyway sha God knows best.

Anonymous said...

Mima ye it depends on the kind of beating ohhh. No beating with mo stick broom, kicking, biting and pouring pepper in eye or other places. But good old fashion hand beating on ass and back I dey there. Spare d rod.

Anonymous said...

Does it matter of its early stage or late stage? If they are not suitable they are not suitable. Which one is regret it forever. These are the things they use to scare african women to staying and dying there. How can he beat her when pregnant or when carrying 3 month old baby. My dear he is an animal pls divorce sharp sharp and start again. Nonsense

Anonymous said...

Poster up there sheba new year kain kain is still shacking you?

Anonymous said...

My dear if you lime use capital letter from now till tmorrow. If in a position to hit a colleague many will do it at least a slap. That violence towards 2omen must seep through.

Anonymous said...

Adanna which.mother in law. She did n9t leave bcos of mother in law fight she left from beating. Mother in law is by the way. She didn't need to discuss shit with her in like the way she left.

peace maker said...

Poster,I suspect that ur dh is a poor man that was why u quickly run comot for house.If he is a rich man u would hv hung in there till eternity. This is why it's always better for men to make money b4 marriage.

Anonymous said...

Maybe that one is a mumu wife that says yes sir to everything he says. Every woman is not like that every personality is different and no woman should be beat up because she does not have a submissive personality. Eg me. My.mum is quiet I'm not. Neither are my sisters we take after our dad.but No one is beating us in a our matrimonial home.

B said...

My sister thank you. Poster please do not listen to Stella in that aspect. Knowing mother-in-laws the story will change once it gets to their son.

Anonymous said...

What type of bondage is that
Woman please learn to have value for your self
Marriage is not by force

Lilly simple said...

You can not post once?

ukwu dimond said...

Talk to your hubby and mother in law.

Broomstick said...

Blunt, no matter how carefully edited the story is, the major thing in it is that he hit her. Absolutely no justification for that. I don't give two pence about her MIL's interference or lack thereof because it isn't relevant. Subtle bullying is still bullying. In cases of DV, if you've got nothing positive to say, read and walk away. That could be you or someone you know

Anonymous said...

Idiot how is the story somehow? Next thing is to ask what she did....there is no justification for beating her and the MIL has no right to interfer....my MIL gave names to my 2 kids, that's part of tradition but she cannot insist it has to be the one parents call them....sad u married a mamas boy and the woman might be a witch who will not allow her kids progress....separate and don't listen to your family cos beating in marriage is not the norm. Yes all marriages have problems but not every problem u manage.....if the guy sees the light and changes fine but don't rush back cos he will take u for a fool and beat u more sef........keep calm and be strong, marriage is not a do or die matter and don't allow any one bully you or blame you for domestic violence.

Anonymous said...

Don't mind the stupid brainless blunt idiot.....u think it's every woman that will to.erate years of abuse? She has obviously made up her mind to leave the marriage

Anonymous said...

I honestly don't know why people praise this doppelgänger.....so from what u read u cannot deduce that the mother is a big influence? Someone who has to okay any decision in a marriage? Anyway u never marry so save your advice for single matters...

Broomstick said...

Doppelganger, you can never be SURE she knew about the devilish tendencies cos you weren't with them. It's better to say "I guess" or "I think" never "I'm sure" because in actuality, you are NOT sure. That's the only issue I have with your comment

Anonymous said...

Peacemaker na person mschweeeeeeeeew. Bastard son of a prostitute mother....u no go die better. Idiot, Anuofia....the thunder that will fire u is still receiving power from sango, sopona, obatala and all the gods of the land...ewu gambia

Broomstick said...

I'm sorry to say, but it isn't relevant. She's not the one who hit he . Talking with MIL means she's willing to go back to the toxic relationship and that she shouldn't be encouraged to do. Apart from her husband obviously, who hits/beats a pregnant woman? Only a beast

Anonymous said...

Foolish madam small chops...what is tone and choice of words? A MIL who oks every decision in a marriage does she sound like a good person? Is it only women that must talk to men in a gentle voice and not get angry? So even if she was rude u beat a nursing mother? U are not yet married so shut up

Anonymous said...

So there's excuse for a strike from a woman which is usually a caustic badmouthing or emotional abuse?

Domestic violence means "Any incident of controlling, coercive, threatening behavior, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to:

‎psychological

‎physical

‎sexual

‎financial

Verbal

‎emotional

Controlling behavior is a range of acts designed to make a person subordinate and/or dependent by isolating them from sources of support, exploring their resources and capacities for personal gain, depriving them of the means needed for independence, resistance and escape and regulating their everyday behavior.

Coercive behavior is an act or pattern of acts of assaults, threats, humiliation and intimidation or other abuse that is used to harm, punish or frighten their victim.‎

Family members are defined as mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister, and grandparents, whether directly related, in laws or stepfamily.

Whatever form it takes, domestic abuse is rarely a one-off incident, and should instead be seen as a pattern of abusive and controlling behaviour through which the abuser seeks power over their victim. Typically the abuse involves a pattern of abusive and controlling behaviour, which tends to get worse over time. The abuse can begin at any time, in the first year, or after many years of life together. It may begin, continue, or escalate after a couple have separated and may take place not only in the home but also in a public place.‎

From the definitions above, it's clear that it's not just about a man beating a woman or vice versa, it includes a whole lot. The belief locally is that it's all about men abusing women. Maybe because don't talk or report. The definition above clearly shows, from a high percentage that woman, with their mouth and behaviour of "women Liberation and freedom" which has caught up with many young girls, abuses men mostly.

While growing up, we hear elders advice that the only power women has is their mouth, what they didn't tell us is that those caustic mouth can cause death, emotional challenges, high BP, mental issues over time to men. Imagine if men start complaining based on the above, we will have numerous cases of domestic violence.

In as much as I don't subscribe to physical attack, some women can lead a man to frustration with what comes out of their mouth, behaviour etc and instant beating starts. ‎

This doesn't preclude some men or women who are violent oriented.

in all honesty, if only women can control their tongue, a lot can be saved. Men also control their temper. Tongue is the worst element in humans that can destroy, men, bring any form of repercussion if not controlled. We have seen how tongues can cause war etc. If such can happen, imagine if u have a caustic partner who dishes it out anyhow to u.

Anyway, the essence of this is to advice everyone to understand what this domestic violence means, and to preach for peace. Women, like it or not, a man needs u to be his warming bosom and not attacking firebrand. When a home is peaceful, the woman takes credit, when it scatters, the woman is blamed‎. All these "partnership" in marriage and "control" is what leads to many cases.

I think it's time men start speaking out. Don't wait until it's too late. ‎

Broomstick said...

Your father's got it right ojare. I love my culture/tradition/tribe cos our bride price is fixed but only fluctuates when changed to naira. The Efik brideprice is £24 and even converting at the rate of N600 per £1, you find that it isn't something the poorest of the poor cannot raise to return to a devilish beast.

Broomstick said...

On this same blog a few days ago or so we read about someone whose horseband was signing undertakings in all police stations and still beating his wife, so what undertaking are you talking about? It's obvious, anyways, from your comment that you didn't read everything before rushing to comment else you would have seen where she said her parents asked her not to move out and that he beat her before when she was pregnant. He probably apologized then and promised never to touch her again in anger but didn't keep that promise. How else should she work things out? She should keep forgiving and asking family members to step in until she finds her battered body being lowered into the ground abi?

Broomstick said...

I pray Peacemaker marries someone prepared to treat his f-ups with fists

Precix Cakes Abeokuta said...

Poster it's called "separation "not divorce. ..but seriously we may need to be re-educated on how to calm a volatile situation, like de-escalate a tense /angry husband. ..in the school of marriage we learn even from negative experiences,like keep quiet when you notice his voice tone rising, stand close to the open door, change the topic, count to 10 before replying, ...we just have to learn how to handle a man prone to violence. Besides that, it's too early to rent an apartment,stay in ur friends place for a while guage his reaction if he misses you enough to amend his ways,I suspect his wise friends would caution him...by the way, ur MIL naming ur child is not such a big deal its common in some culture such that the child could have 10 name sef, just call the child the name u like

Precix Cakes Abeokuta said...

And to those bvs that use their parents as gold standard,every marriage has its challenges at the beginning until they find balance,i don't support dv it's evil/demonic but the vessel and the content has to be handled with care so we don't raise our children in broken homes. ...the man u thought could never change might become a pastor 6 months from now

kay elsie said...

Ode,dis peacemaker av been holding mysef not to mention names here bt ur own stupidity is outta dis world,..wtf u spewing,u jst carry free mb n be typing nonsense,i'm sure u r nt married n even av a rltnshp,infact wat i'm I even typing,i'm sure u r a kid. Waka pass,u must not comment on Evry post,leave some post 4 adults 2advice.

kay elsie said...

Itsekiri women r domineering o,infact dey own deir children so if u are not 4rm der n u get married to one of dem,jst be ready,except 4d God fearing mil.

Anonymous said...

U made no sense believe me what u said is what my common sense calls stupidity,so u don't know that a child who witness domestic violence has tendency of been abusive in future especially the male child and in most cases leave the female child vulnerable to violence which includes sexual assault etc. Poster I would advice u as a legal practitioner and as a woman pls don't take this advice, you might not be lucky next time. We've had so many cases like this and unfortunately some of deceased are not alive to say their story..the ball is in your court

ProudlyDeltan15 said...

U only gave one scenario and you did not state what happened that U made that statement to your husband. I do not support domestic violence but your story does not state what your mother inlaw has exactly done in details.

Anonymous said...

End time onigbese MIL

Anonymous said...

End time olojukokoro MIL

Anonymous said...

Dope, you done craze? What if the next tie he beats her, he kills her and she doesn't even get the chance to end the marriage? I'm sure you'll be one of those asking "why did she go back?" Etc

Anonymous said...

The God father, God bless you for this comment!! People will be commenting as if the haven't seen people who pretend for years before.this I s still the backward Nigerian mentality of always looking for a way to blame the woman no matter what.

Anonymous said...

End time recession herself MIL

Anonymous said...

You are not divorced yet but temporarily separated from your husband. Please, note that marriage is never a bed of roses. Not all that glitters is gold especially when you see different couples looking so happy publicly, they have one or more challenges they face as well. You have done well by moving out, let your husband know where you are and when he comes, tell him exactly how you feel about the assault and let him know you would only return him if he promises to love and care for you the same way he did at the very beginning. I pray he listens to you and you guys find yourselves more attractive than ever. It is not easy task to raise a child alone, just try and settle with him amicably. May the good Lord be with you

peace maker said...

Anon22:32.My response to you on Instagram subsists till eternity.

Adjarho Okpalefe said...

We d Niger Deltans know how domineering the Itsekirs are. So I understood wen I read her story.

meeeeeeeeeeee said...

Your mother in law can only go as far as your husband allows her. I have a MIL who could be overbearing and would love to control every one, but my husband puts her in check firmly. In fact sometimes I have to intervene and caution him for being too harsh, but he keeps telling me if you give her an inch, she will go a mile.
Your husband is the problem here dear not your MIL.Thank God you have a job, get your life back together, get involved with a support group cos your family may not be there for you now.Do not allow anyone to guilt trip you into returning, except your hubby accepts his fault. And even then, please save some money that will empower you to take a walk again if need be.

Anonymous said...

@Doppelgange, her MIL is the root of her problem and for a man to beat a woman during pregnancy for the first time and while she was holding her three months old baby for the second time, shows he does not care if she dies because of his mother who likely did not condone nonsense from her own mother in law!

Of course, your folks won't support you and your friend will later beg you to go back, that is how the Nigerian society works! Even sdk asking you to talk to her is indirectly asking you to make peace in your young marriage.

If your husband comes begging, go back. Then Wisen up. Don't discuss any important decision making with him again! Be giving him the siddon-look attitude, it will piss him off later and do whatever you want secretly.

Go to population census office and get your child's birth certificate in the names you want. Give your mil the silence treatment from hence forth. Dont prepare any special food when she comes, put too much salt or pepper in the food so she wont enjoy it as she does not want you to enjoy your marriage. There are several ways to catch a rat!

If he does not come to beg, then don't make the mistake of going back, because he will treat you worst! Face your child and career, and stay away from married men because you will be a target for the randy he-goats on heat!

Anonymous said...

I don't know why people forget that mother in laws were once wives before they became mothers! @Peacemaker and anonymous, do you know what her own mil did as a wife? Now they are all Saints! All the women talking now, might do worst when married or become mother-in-laws!As If some wives don't spit in their mother-in-laws food or water before serving. Things are happening!

Anonymous said...

This is no problem.15:13. People travel long distances to celebrate with family rather than friends. Good, you accepted it since you were told before marriage.

Sometimes, we wives should stop making mountains out of molehills. When you become grandparents and all the children are away, you will look forward to such days for a family reunion. That is the joy, not the eating and drinking.

Anonymous said...

@Peace maker, just as the six wives are precious mothers to their children! See how stupid and silly you argument is? Is your precious mother not a wife first before becoming a mother? So if your father sent her away because of that myopic mentality you have, will you be happy with your father?

Anonymous said...

@madam small chops, the way i see commenters invoking wrath and brimstone on bvs who offends them here, shows the kind of people we have in the society!

There is a limit everyone can take! Your threshold for bull shit is different from the next person! I can take a lot of crap from people but I have my own way of getting back! People should be wary of the respectful and quiet wives. #laughs#

Anonymous said...

I tire for sdk o. So they will say she has no respect for the 'queen' in her husband's family? It is only her father that can drum sense into her mil, not even her mother, so as not to generate to quarrel.

Btw, poster, is your fil still alive? I ask because, if she still has a husband she cooks and clean for, does she have a business that keeps her busy? If yes to any of the questions, she won't have your time! If not, she will continue to poke nose dyyee! Be creative and apply wisdom.

Amethyst said...

If your husband cones back to beg you please think carefully and if you have peace about it go back to him. You will put your foot down as to how you want your home affairs to be run. Tell your husband the next time he tries to put hands on you that will be the last time he'll ever see you or his child again.
As for his mother na you start mumu for the beginning. Why should your MIL ever dictate whose or what name goes on the birth certificate? A domineering woman comes to your house and shakes you she's trying to see your strength and you showed your cards! Never ever do that. Your house is the boundary whatever affects your child is the boundary. Let her influence her son as long as it doesn't affect you and your child fine! Make it clear you will not stand for rubbish ever.
Everybody has someone that has some influence in our lives. Everyone. It is up to us whether it is positive or negative and it is up to us to take the advice or discard it. Up to us. You definitely married a boy because men don't behave the way your husband behaved and his mom knows that so she's pulling his strings.
I've been married more than 5years and my Mother in law is very very controlling manipulative domineering with correct eye service native sense but she knows that me too I'm a strong woman. She no dey ever bring am near my side at all because from the beginning I no allow am. I don't pass my boundaries. I respect her space and she too respects mine. She knows me well and I too know her. I don't control anyone so no one can control me or what pertains to me. It is the unwritten constitution we have. So take charge of your home and your marriage. One person will have to bow to the other and since it is Your husband Your home and Your child your MOTHER IN LAW MUST BOW!! It is simple psychology not prayer warrior war room rubbish. Abeg let me know if you need further help. Rubbish woman!

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