Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: My Divorce Story - 2

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Thursday, 12 January 2017

My Divorce Story - 2

OhMyGoodness!!!




Hello Stella,God bless you for the platform you have created to help others. I am a woman of 52 years,my story may be long but i hope ladies will learn from my mistakes.


I grew up with my step mum,my life was a living hell.i wash everyone's cloth on Saturdays and i have to drink the water i use in rinsing the clothes before my step mum will let me hang them to dry,i cook but i have to wait till everyone finishes and eat the left over if there is,if there is none i try my luck next time.so many other terrible things i had to endure but to make my story short,i gained admission into teachers college and all i could think about was leaving the house.


After i graduated i returned back home and it was one issue after another anyways i met my husband and i just couldn't wait to leave the house. I lived in Ibadan and i have never been to Lagos. There was no white wedding, we did just intro and traditional marriage. He said when we get to Lagos we will do the court and white wedding, i didn't mind,i just wanted to be as far away from my step mum and all the troubles at home as possible. I got to Lagos and my nightmare started,i realized he wasn't as wealthy as he claimed he was,that wasn't a problem to me.



 I saw two young boys in his little room and palour. It was then he told me,he has a wife but she left without her kids and his mother also lived in the house.there was no telephone then,there was no way to reach my father,i couldn't go back to Ibadan,i didnt even know the way. I accepted my fate. He was a banker. After marriage,i realized he usually have terrible mood swings,he will shout @ me and just get angry without valid reason. 


Then he gave me the first bomb, he told me i should never ask him for anything that if i have needs,i should just write it in a paper and keep it on the dinning table that if i see money in it that means he has interest in the list and if i don't, that means he isn't interested.we didn't use to gist and talk like couples, just greetings and notes,that was how we communicated.



 Dont let me add his mums troubles, it wasn't beyond me because i was already used to maltreatment from home. After a while i gathered small money and started hawking pounded yam,i was pregnant with my first child. He didn't care and he didn't stop me. I was able to gather #10,000 from my business when i heard there was a land for sale in that area,i wrote my note as usual and kept the #10,000 in it that he should add to it to buy the land. He bought the land and still from my business money i bought the block used in starting the foundation of the land. He built his house and i was still hawking. 



A neighbor saw me one day and he said,my husband is a banker why am i hawking and he asked if i went to school, i told him yes and he got me my job as a civil servant. All hell was let loose in my house,my husband and his mum accused me of sleeping with the man and my husband insisted i wont take the job but i am Strong willed. I resumed and started taking care of my needs. He never spent money on my children, he usually spend his money on his family members. I wasnt still bothered.Some months to 2002 thats after 16years of marriage,he asked me to help him collect loan in my corporative in school,that he wanted to use it for business.



 I agreed and got him a loan of #700,000. Feb 2002, he woke me up in the midnight and said " i have sold the house,you and your children go and look for where to stay" i felt like i was in a nightmare. How is that possible, where will i go?i dont have family members in Lagos,i have 4 children with my last born still 2years old plus a #700,000 loan i collected on his behalf. He said he doesnt care,he is done with the marriage and we are to appear in court the following day for the divorce proceeding.


 I thought i was going to die.


 To cut the long story short, i paid the judge #12000 to let me have the custody of my kids as i couldn't live without them.my friends called me stupid,told me to leave the children and go hustle for myself, i had no place to live. Anyway i disagreed,i got my kids and went to live with who i thought was my bosom friend.i had to withdraw my kids from private schools and enrolled them in the government school. One evening my friend told me she could no longer accommodate me that we had to leave that same day,i went with my children and started knocking on the gates of churches, hoping that someone will let me @lst sleep for the night,a lot of them said no but thank God for sending helper my way that very night. My dad called me to come back to the village, i said no.i will stay in Lagos and make it.



 I became the object of ridicule among my siblings, none of them came to my aid. Even my mum that was never there for me as a child wrote me a letter that i shouldn't come to her burial if she dies because im no longer her child. It was a tough time and i cant begin to write all i went through. But God found me,i never gave up on him and today its a different story.i am not there yet but two of my children are graduates,my third child is in her final year and my last born is in his second year in the university and now their father wants them in his life.he has cancer,he is bedridden and every of his family members that he spent money on has abandoned him.


Lesson learnt:
(1) never become desperate,no matter what you are going through, never rush into marriage.

(2) no matter how little, always make sure you are earning something for yourself. If your husband as stopped you from working, try to save a little from whatever money is entering your hand.

(3) never leave your children behind. When you leave them,you subject them to abuse and maltreatment.if you have to sleep under the bridge, let them be there with you.

(4) no matter what comes your way,stand courageous, believe in yourself. No one said it will easy,it was a difficult moment for me and my kids,so many times we had nothing to eat but God saw us through.

(5) marry your friend, someone you can talk to about anything, someone you can play with,confide in. Sometimes love isn't enough,love fades but friendship will keep you going while you try to ignite the fire of love.


(6) try as much as possible to treat your step child(ren) nicely,despite all i went through growing up,i never maltreated them.we are still very close till now and they see me as their mother.we never know where we might end up,be nice to everyone that crosses your path,no matter who they are.


I hope i haven't bored you all,sorry for my epistle and i hope i have been able to encourage one or two ladies not to give up on themselves just yet,there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Thank you.



*Thank you for sending in your story Ma..God bless you.


275 comments:

1 – 200 of 275   Newer›   Newest»
White Diamond said...

Jeez!

#WhiteDiamondOut

Loveme Jeje said...

Waooooo, i love your advice on this. God bless you Poster. You went, you saw and you conquered. Thank God and God will provide your children with good jobs to wipe the tears from your eyes, the years of toiling Amen.

Hmmmmmm it is very well with you Madam.

Anonymous said...

Amazing post.Made me cry.God bless u ma. I hope and pray u are sorted now.May God meet u at the point of your every need. Ijn

Ghanaman said...

Nah! I didn't just read this!

Na film abi na true-true???

Madam, u bad ghan! I doff my heart for u. U too much!

As for hubby, no send the man message o. Let him die in misery too.

Good riddance to bad rubbish !!!


*ghanaman signing out*

optimisticlady said...

Wow ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
Just look at marital issue•
But poster,I really needed more details •
Like life after the divorce details•
Did you allow your children's father have access to them?
How is ur step mum doing now?
Alot sha ••••
Keep on keeping on•
Stella you called poster 'Ma'
Am sure you now have an idea why bvs call you that sometimes•

calabar chick said...

Wow!!!
This is sooo touching,
Thank God for where you are now.
Your children will be a blessing to you and you will reap the fruit of your labour.

Abiodun Sasore said...

wow!!!!so much lesson to be learnt

code009 said...

Am making my hair and I have tears in my eyes right here in the salon. I am struggling to clean it up and pretend all is well. Thanks for sending this. You are a warrior

prettymama said...

Awww people go through a lot in marriage.... may God help us.

Corper W said...

Awwwwwwwwwww. God bless you for been a great mother to your kids. May God bless your children with good jobs to take care of you. God bless all mothers out there. God got ur back no matter what you are going thru.

Asa Nwa aka No wahala pikin said...

God bless you ma.. Your Children will definently make you proud... I'm so happy for you

SWAG LAFRESH said...

Wowwww!!!

Anonymous said...

wow, wow, wow... This one no be ambulance matter oh. chai, how wicked the heart of man is...
Madam poster, i commot cap and wig for u. you are just an epitome of strength and resilience. My God will keep seeing u and your wonderful kids through in this life. You ll have countless reasons to smile in this life, Amen
Empressitta

Anonymous said...

Wow wow wow what a strong lady. God bless you real good. you shall reap the fruits of your labour in Jesus name. Your kids would make you proud and u shall see your children's children.

Geneafah said...

Wooow, this is touching. I really learnt.. Thank you

Anonymous said...

Thank God for your life ma. May God continue to protect you and your children and crown your efforts with success. Your write up inspired me. No matter the condition, nothing in this life is permanent.

CHI EXOTIC CHI EXOTIC said...

People just do things without having the future in mind

Now he has cancer
That's his karma.

I like this DS

The Blair Witch said...

Ah! I learnt from this story abeg. I can't take such from any man. I will poison him and nothing will happen.

charitybino said...

I must say you are a strong person, I'm happy about your current situation. Advice your children not to rush into marriage, I pray that your whole generation will never suffer Lai Lai,. Amen

Esther Okoro said...

Hmmmm, I didn't finish reading your story, I'll do that later. You're a strong woman. God bless you more & more.






God Bless Everyone.

charitybino said...

I'm not happy that you are divorced but happy that you were able to fight for your children and two are graduates already. That's what I mean by "your current situation "

Teena said...

This story brought tears... Mehn maam u went through alot, may God make u reap the fruits of your labor.

Lady Ijaaay said...

Hmmm! Odiegwu...

MamaZ O said...

WoW. God bless you Stella for this segment. Am so going to learn alot here.

redbotafly said...

This is so sad but thank God for ur life ma.
Even with all this, alot of women still won't learn.
My husband won't dare ask me to quit my job.
I pray God gives al those suffering in their marriages the guts to walk away.

Asa Nwa aka No wahala pikin said...

The generals wife, chikito and doppelganger.... May God keep blessing the three of you. I just love reading your comments you are my role model now...

And to Linda Eze queen and boss... Pls mind the comments you make.. You dont have to be rude to people. I can see you derive joy from hurting people on this blog you better stop it.. And those if you licking her black ass should try and stop it

BLOGLORD said...

"and i have to drink the water i use in rinsing the clothes before my step mum will let me hang them to dry"

Immediately I read that, I confirmed that I don't have the stomach for this.

So sorry poster but seems you didn't bother to study the man you married. I guess the pressure from home but mehn... you look before you leap.

All the best.

Ed said...

God have mercy! I admire your courage,strong will and steadfastness in Gods ability to see you thru. God will continue to keep you Ma!

Mummy tk said...

God bless u ma,may does children of urs be greater than u think. Wat a story

Jenny zee said...

Nawa, thank God for ur life and that of your children, you will eat s fruit of ur labour and mercy will overrule judgement in ur lives

orela said...

Hmmmm.....na wa o...What some people go through in the name of being married ...It's well with you ma'am. ..
I'm not here to blame anyone..May God see us all through

Kay Bee said...

good story. God bless u ma. I concur @ marrying your friend!

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Chai,God bless you Madam,so people can be this wicked

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Wow!...
But madam,what did you do to your ex husband that made him to start treating you bad?...
If you did nothing,that means the person that called una men demon was right!...
You are a very strong woman and may you eat the fruit of your hardwork!!..

Brown Sucre said...

Very touching,thank God,God came through for you and your children.

De Unbreakable said...

I will so hold on to this divorce post cos I got a lot of things to learn in here.

Thanks ma'am for sharing your story,of a truth what goes around comes around. KARMA๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

Mama Pikin said...

Tears filled my eyes while reading this . Sacrifice made for the marriage to work yet your ex husband foolishly sent you packing
God bless you for taking your children with you.
God will perfect all that concerns you IJN
Amen

ANGELRAY4SDK said...

Chai,madam I feel your pain, you are a very good woman but I wonder why men don't appreciate good women, plz don't ever listen to his pleas, he's paying for his wickedness, and as for ur mum who disowned u for no reason, she will never rest in peace, wicked women everywhere.

bee flawless said...

I'm so speechless. You are one strong woman ma.

Carina K Jacob said...

Na wah oh!
Thank God for your life!

treasures said...

Hmmm, it is well with you ma, and thanks for sharing this. Hope this save a lot

Ch1da said...

THIS POST MOST STAY.

I have learnt something today. Get something doing ladies.

Thank you , STELLA

cherie mendez said...

It's a very interesting story ma, I want to thank you on behalf of your children,for not leaving them behind, may God continue to bless you. I have noted your advice ma.

Mhzzbee int'l said...

Hey!!! I was read and panicking at the same time.

Shola said...

I've learn't lessons from you Ma!

Anonymous said...

HMMM...I WILLNEVER GIVE UP COS DERS A LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL......

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sending in your story. To read this when my marriage has pushed me into depression is ...I don't even know what to say. Emotional abuse is real and I pray God to make me stronger than I can even imagine.

Eka Joy said...

This is so sad a story. I dunno how step mothers get to maltreat kids under their care. Wth!!!!

Mhzzbee int'l said...

You really enter through hell, but madam you did tell us if the signs were there before you got married? Thank God for your life, always remember there's no friend anywhere because if you have situations no one will stay by you. Ishhhh

Lepa shandy is back said...

Chai madam poster,you were stupid ma.
1).Women,keep your money!
2) Don't connect your brain to your heart or pussy
3) Let your brain function alone!
4) Don't be desperate!

becky naka said...

Wow..... double Beyounce hands for you madam. The joy of the lord is your strength.

Anonymous said...

But how do you have children for such a man?

Anonymous said...

My ex husband was molesting our children without my knowledge. I never knew. And my (2)daughters never told me. It continued for years. He eventually impregnated them. When they mentioned who was responsible, I nearly died. As far as I know, I have never denied him sex. So, how could he? I don't know what came over me that day. I picked d fork I was using to eat and stabbed him, I stabbed him until there was no life remaining in him. I killed him. This happened around 1993. I was arrested and charged to court for murder. But somehow, my dad being a wealthy man bought me freedom. They swept the case under the carpet. Flew me and the kids abroad. Immediately I got there, I flushed out the bastards they were carrying.

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ
Sorry u went through all this.....
I must commend u.
Young girls enter into bad marriage due to societal pressure,desperation due 2 the fact that their mates are married or their biological clock is ticking.
Another thing is frustration from home.
I think is better to marry late n get it right

Poster,u will eat the fruit of ur labour.
You are a Strong woman.

In'GENIUS In'GENIUS said...

So sad that a woman who has children wld do such to another child... May God help our world

Hannah Idowu Dideolu said...

Thanks for sharing your story. May your labour of love never be in vain.

chikavincent1 said...

Chaiii God is good All the time, may Almighty God keep and make All your children prosper Amen..

Vickie berries said...

And some BV's said No to this chronicle's. Please let it continue so we can all learn.

God bless you poster. It is well.

Cathryn Praise said...

You are indeed strong woman,madam. God bless u

Anonymous said...

Let me add:
7) Divorce is not the end of the world; Yes it hurts, but don't let it shatter your self-esteem. Don't let people bring you down by blaming you the woman. Trust God and triple your hustle. Agatha Amata is an example

8) The signs are there: Never accept to date a man with inferiority complex, a man who will suffocate your dreams. When a man starts calling a woman who can stand on her feet financially by herself "proud" or "runs girl" abeg, you over there, RUN!!!

viva ciara said...

OMG
I cried while reading this, I couldn't help it.
May God preserve you to eat from the fruits of your labour Ma.
I like no. 5 of your lessons learnt 'marry your friend '. I heard those words first from my mother. I'd always wondered how my parents were able to still play and talk to each other like they married yesterday(my eldest should be about 40yrs) and my parents have 12 grandkids. So I asked my mum and she said 'I married my friend '.

OLORI said...

Oh wow...I'm speechless!

Ma, you shall eat the fruit of labour, by the time you are to reap from what you've sowed death will not snatch you away ijn. But pls just forgive that man and let your children visit him just once and nothing more.

Anonymous said...

hmmmmmmmmmm

Shirley said...

I have told God countless times
He won't sit on his throne and watch me marry the wrong man
The day it happens that day I know he has been dethrone.
I trust him
Am patient
When his ready am ready
Thanks for not giving up,you will leave long to reap every of your sweat on your children.
God bless you ma

Anonymous said...

Can somebody teach me how to share this story?
After reading this, I refuse to settle for just any man. If God does not send a man dt will understand me and take me as a friend, I will remain as I am please. Call me any name you want. That was how I almost fell into one chance marriage in November but God saved me.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#The problem is women think he will change, he won't. And men make the mistake of thinking she will never leave, she will*

ZIONA said...

awwww,i must commend u,u are very brave,i just thank God for ur life and ur children.karma has served ur ex husband cild.what a wicked heartless fellow.

AGELESS T said...

*Faints*

des ree said...

no ma , you didn't bore us. but you suffered o. #sobs. thank God for everything.

marriedchick said...

God bless you ma

sweetness said...

Wow

Cyndilicious said...

Chai U really suffered oo..d lord is ur strength ma

Anonymous said...

Wow. God truly never leaves us nor abandons us. May God continue to bless you and enrich you. All your labour on your kids will not be in vain.

Anonymous said...

Omg

MUMMY SINACH said...

My God! Was this real?
How were u able to spread legs for this type of husband?. You are really strong.

Mrs I said...

Wow so sad. Thank God your children are all grown and doing well now.

Jumiasalesagent contactme. said...

I find it hard to understand...you don't talk but only communicate via notes and gives you money conditionally, yet you took a loan on his behave up to #700,000, your are 52, stayed in the marriage for up to 16 years, 20 years ago even 10 years ago 700,000 was HUGE money. I really can't relate. Anyway them say make we just read and learn. The story is just the way I expected it..

Chief Anonymous said...

You didnt bore me and i learnt alot. Thank you so much for sharing. God bless you, may your children continue to put a smile on your face.

Ebony Doc said...

Phew! What a sad story. God bless you ma. You will live to reap the fruit of your labor.
Stella, thanks for insisting on continuing this series. People will definitely learn one or two things from it.

LAS GidDY said...

Sad indeed.
Desperation gives birth to absolute frustration

charity olofu said...

You are really a strong woman. May you live long to reap the fruits of ur Labour

Anchor said...

Thanks for sharing your story Ma.
When ST talked about this new segment, i looked forward to it. I know it won't just be for entertainment but to educate.
Thank God you are better off

Asa nwa said...

What a story. The Lord is your strength ma

Simply Divine said...

You are a strong woman ma. You went through a lot in marriage. Some men though.

Adeniji Bisi said...

Was reading and tears rolled down my eyes.

Feel sad right now cuz u making remember my experience growing up from a ploygamus home.


Thank God for ur life





Mc pinky

Tade Adeola said...

WOW! WOW!! WOW!!!

The General's Wife said...

I got goose bumps reading this.

May God dry ur tears.
I hope you are in a better place.

I shouldn't be coming here. This tore at my heart. ๐Ÿ˜ข
Warm hugs to everyone hurting.

Simply Divine said...

Your step mother is very wicked.

keke driver said...

Wow God Bless you madam for sharing, I was almost moved to tears....Hmmm the wickedness of man tho.Thank God You're in a better place.. And for your husband? I am still upset so I wouldn't wanna advise you in my state...God bless you.

ITz_Gee said...

DEAR STELLA OH MY DEAR STELLA I THINK YOU DON'T KNOW IT JUST YET BUT MY DARLING GOD IS USING YOU I HOPE YOU READ THIS MY COMMENT BECAUSE ITS FOR YOU I HAVEN'T COMMENTED FOR A WHILE BUT I HAVE BEEN HERE READING EVERYTHING YOU POST I REMEMBER SOME PEOPLE SAYING YOU SHOULD CLOSE DOWN THESE DIVORCE EPISTLE AM GLAD YOU DIDN'T BECAUSE THIS IS A NEW MEDIUM THAT GOD WANTS TO USE TO SAVE LIFE'S. SDK ISN'T JUST AN ORDINARY BLOG THAT'S HOW I SEE IT THOUGH. I BELIEVE GOD IS HERE POSTER THANK YOU FOR YOUR POST OUR GOD IS EVER READY TO SAVE A SOUL AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU. FOR WITHSTANDING PAIN THE PROCESS IS NOT SOMETHING TO JOKE WITH I HAVE A FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE I WOULD SOME DAY SEND IN TO STELLA WHEN GOD IS DONE WRITING IT BECAUSE THE POTTER IS STILL MOLDING THIS LIFE I LOVE YOU STELLA AM SURE U KNOW EVERYONE DOES. NEVER QUIT HONEY ...............

Anonymous said...

Enter your comment...Na wah oooo, something dey happen oooo

ProudlyDeltan15 said...

I got Goosebumps reading your story...Letter writing in thought it was in the 50's until I read through.Thank God you pulled yourself together and conquered. I can only imagine what you went through. Thank you for sharing your story and may God continue to bless you and your children...ProudlyDeltan

saltish said...

You went through a lot no doubt , it's a good thing you took your children as your number one priority.
May they remember the sacrifices you made and take good care of you.

Anonymous said...

Congrats for the success of your kids. I wish you had remarried and gotten an opportunity to experience true love. Karma is a real bitch o. Your ex husband no try at all

Morayo said...

I pray God continues to strengthen uuu

Lillian French said...

The mistake you made is to have up to 4 kids with someone you communicate only through notes and had 2 kids previous to your union. If you are married and left to care for yourself, never have more than a child with such a man, the highest will be 2 kids.

LOLO IDEATO said...

I love this story. God bless you ma.

But does it mean you never Nagged even for a day?

Anonymous said...

You are a strong woman

POLA said...

Wow. You're one strong woman! God bless you and your children!

LagosismyHome said...

There were tears in my eyes at the end...May God continue to be with you and your children. Amen

Thanks for sharing your story

Anonymous said...

What a sorrowful story madam
Inspired to know that you pulled through
liked the way you analysed your lessons
Hope girls will learn
Signature of Yariba men;
treat women like trash,
Tied to their mother's apron strings,
Always wanting to reap where they did not sow

Duchess Lee said...

Jesus is Lord, why are people so wicked? My heart is so heavy.
I am so sorry for your pain, proud that you stuck to your guns and left with your kids.
Your husband on the other hand is only sleeping on the bed he made. God bless you beyond measure

Latest bride said...

I honestly wish i saw stories like this and got this kind of advice before mine happened.I guess some of us were destined to learn from our mistakes, one thing is certain though, karma is real. Thanks ma for all the advice.
Stella please i beg you not to scrap this segment like many people said in the first post, many young girls are going to gain a whole lot from it, because i tell you there are many dysfunctional men out there, bloody misogynists. may God save us all.

Anonymous said...

This is so painful, so sorry and thank God you came from a well to do home otherwise u would've stl bn jn jail by now or dead.

Anonymous said...

You are the stupid one here. Useless idiot. You should have been used as menses. Do you know what it took for her to write her story? May you experience worse than she did. Moron

Yewande Tegbe said...

May God give us wisdom to make the right decisions in life.

Asa Nwa aka No wahala pikin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

That was a shocker to me too, #700K and also bought a land and yet you know he is a monster.

Anonymous said...

Role model?? Stopit.

Anonymous said...

Pls if I may add, after seeing the circumstances of things in a marriage, women should desist from birthing 4-5 children. Maybe 1 or 2 that you can take care of should worst comes to worst. The economy is not smiling...

Lala said...

Words of wisdom. Thank you for your story and may God continue to make you smile.

optimisticlady said...

Why do most Yoruba men remain under their mums control even adults?

Anonymous said...

Why did you give birth to 4 children in hell??? I don't get, its nt like this man was good when u first came to his house, he was the devil from the beginning. You too like prick madam.

Elixir said...

Somebody please wake me up!!!!!!

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

And who are you to tell me how to comment?...
Or you want to use me to shine?
Stupid idiot!...
Gerraahia!...

Anonymous said...

OMG! I'm crying!!

Nobi's Mum said...

It's unfair to judge others no matter how you feel about their story. Show sympathy or say nothing and move on. Anyone who thinks he or she has nothing to gain from this series should please WAKA PASS.

OLORI said...

Why is she stupid??

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

Say what??????
Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow!!!!
๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ฏ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

avondah said...

a warrior like my mum....some men are just plain evil

OLORI said...

O Jesus!!!!!!!!

Chinelo said...

WHAAAT!!!!! ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜ณ

olaedo said...

You are one strong woman, a fighter.
May God keep you alive to reap the fruit of your womb.

crystal said...

Speechless. Some men are heartless. Such a wicked soul. The house u both built and the money he collected from you should cure him. Thank God for you and your kids ma.

Kim Kardashian Aka portable queen of sdk blog said...

Y are you shouting??????
You want to blind our eyes?

THELMA'S CAKE WORLD said...

Speechless!!!

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Tell them oh!...
How can I give my money to someone that maltreats me?...
It's not possible!...

Anonymous said...

God bless you ma and bless ur children too. *crying* .

Chinny Baby said...

He did wrong but you shouldn't have killed him.

Nobi's Mum said...

I don't think it's necessary pointing out mistakes on this sort of post. Learnt from it and move on.

CHI EXOTIC CHI EXOTIC said...

He got what he deserved
Rest in pieces to him.

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

You are a correct woman!..,
I like you!...
May he rest in pieces!..

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm ๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

ego lag said...

Your story is so touching Ma. I even shed a tear. Your step mum is WICKED personified. Thank God it's all ending in praise. Your children would all get gr8 jobs to take care of you. Your husband is a big fool. Don't even let your kids close to him. Mtchewww

Jasmine said...

Eyah.


U r a nice person o. If it's me, that useless man won't even see how to communicate with me

Jasmine said...

As for your so called mother, she must a very wicked person. I'm sorry for insulting her.

Ur siblings? Those ones r not worth it at all

LOLO IDEATO said...

Hmm

Anonymous said...

Awwwwww i like!! By the grace of God,me and my hubby will continue being in love and great friends till we are 100.Amen

miss Fee said...

This was why I said yesterday that this would be an amazing opportunity for women to learn. I've seen and heard a lot in my line of work. God help us all.

LOLO IDEATO said...

✌✌✌✌✌✌✌

THELMA'S CAKE WORLD said...

Omg!!!!!!

Great Lady said...

Friends First then Love

LADY PRESTIGE BEADS.08034205152 said...

Nawaoooo..
I thank God that you gathered yourself and made it without your ex husband.you shall reap the rewards of your sacrifice.Amen!

Anonymous said...

The man is simply saying what people want to hear, not what really is. If the problem is really about ministers enriching themselves and setting up non-charitable organizations under the church, then how does limiting the number of years of service of the GO solve this problem? I don't see any relationship between the two.

ego lag said...

I won't say I blame you for that act.

Nonye Inspired (James Bond's Girl) said...

Ma you didnt bore us..You taught us all valid lessons..If God can bring you this far then Happier days are ahead for you and your family..you are really a fighter..Lessons learned...Thank you

Sassy Meruche said...

Double wow!! Thank god for your life Madam.

Arsenal Firstlady said...

What a life! Ma, God will bless you for this and you will ask, Am i the only one in this world. Thank you for your sacrifice for your children. Those children will wipe away your tears that you won't remember all the things you passed through. As for that heartless man, i pray God forgives him

nino brown said...

You will get there in Jesus name Amen...

LIGHT said...

I am inspired, i have learnt not to get pressured or see marriage as the way out of any situation. I will rather remain single and be called any name,as long as im happy and find fulfilment in myself and the Lord.Marriage isnt a do or die affair. Stella,God bless you for this segment and ma,every of your pain and tears will not come to nought, you will live long in sound health to reap the fruit of your labour. Please Bvs,dont let us read to pass judgement on the posters, just pick your lessons and move on. Not everyone has had it easy and its better to learn from people's mistakes than for people to learn from ours. God bless us all.

Anonymous said...



May God wipe your tears and bless the fruits of your womb! I pray for a better and rosier future for you. Ehhhh, chale, human beings are so wicked.

Anonymous said...

Please shut up your mouth, gosh! Na only you sabi advice, see your mouth like look before you leap, ode oshi! Radarada, oponu, adator, doboYor, agomaronu, oniranu oshi.

SANDY NEKY said...

OMG!!! Hope this isn't fiction. Mouth open*

Anonymous said...

Think before you type,common sense is really not common.

Anonymous said...

You know Linda eze is their God and messiah so whatever rubbish she spews, they hail her for it.

ganglion said...

You are very silly for such an insensitive comment @Lepa shandy.

Anonymous said...

Behave ni beehive ko. It's Behalf.
Yeah,you can't and won't relate till u walk in those shoes.

ganglion said...

You are the stupid one here for making such an insensitive comment @Lepa

dynamite chick said...

Guess she juz rushed into the marriage so as to be far frm the devil of a step-mother, so she didn't see any signs. Am glad u were able to pull through ma, there is indeed a light at the end of every tunnel

Anonymous said...

Blog lord if you have any sense or sympathy you will.not Type this rubbish

Anonymous said...

Jesu christi!!! Madam, please send your story.

koko insurance said...

Wow...God bless you ma. God bless you Stella for this platform.

Anonymous said...

Why are you always like this? I wonder the kind of children you are raising.

dynamite chick said...

No need for the insult, this woman is far older than you

Anonymous said...

Miss two goody shoes as you are stupid for typing this

Anonymous said...

@Asa Nwa rubbish just shut up if u dnt have anything to say.

Anonymous said...

Study the man? Look before you leap? Don't be silly. Didn't you read her story about wanting to escape her life and marriage was the next best thing to it. Mind you, the marriage was 1986.

Anonymous said...

NEVER EVER LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN BEHIND...i was really encouraged ma. God will do even greater things in your life. BLESS YOU STELLA.

Quick Weight loss with Green World Slimming Capsules Abuja. 08037495373. said...

Wow! I love u Angel Stella, blowing kisses your way. You have no idea of the number of lives this particular segment will help. I learnt a lot. Thank you.

Ronalda. said...

Wow! Ma'am you are truly an inspiration! ‎You've exhibited the true strength of a woman. I actually had to fight back the tears from streaming down as I read your story, of course it was an exercise in futility because I actually started sobbing. I hate seeing or hearing about a hard working woman suffer heat not only from a husband but his mum as well, but what kills me most is when innocent children have to suffer for what they know nothing about.

You deserve several badges of honour! Leaving a marriage when you aren't financially stable is herculean enough but to leave with not 1 nor 2 kids but 4 kids!!! Woooooow! Do we still have iron ladies such as yourself anymore? Highly unlikely. I'm a firm believer in the saying that everything happens for a reason. If you didn't suffer so much hardship growing up, how would you have coped in that marriage? I'm even more gobsmacked that you didn't leave due to frustration, you were ready to remain there but God used him to liberate you. He actually kicked you out after he shortchanged you emotionally and financially! Unbelievable!‎

I hope you know you wouldn't have attained the heights you are now and you wouldn't have known how people/ friends truly felt about you. May God use your children to wipe your tears and give you double for all your troubles. You may not like to hear this but I pray you find love, true love this time. I know of ladies in their 6Os who found love when they had already given up on men generally. You've endured so much! You deserve a happy ending with a man who would love and adore you like his Queen.

If you can, reconcile with your ex husband. I don't mean moving back to play the role of a dutiful wife but reunite the kids with their dad because it seems his days are numbered. Forgiveness is divine, he doesn't deserve it but give it to him anyway. He may be a monster but he sired all your children, that bond cannot be broken. Please ma'am, give him the opportunity to make peace with his children before he leaves this world. 

Wow! What an amazing woman and mother! God bless you ma'am.
#e-bearhugs.‎


Teddy said...

Blood of Jesus

I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF) said...

Kikikikikikiki..

Quick Weight loss with Green World Slimming Capsules Abuja. 08037495373. said...

Madam, every body mustn't like the same thing. I like the chief because she is blunt. I'm her secret fan. She types some hard truth that i may have in mind but don't have the guts to type, except the nacking of pigeon sha..lol. It's not arse licking, it's the different flavours that prevent boredom.

Jumiasalesagent contactme. said...

I find it hard to believe a man will just be wicked for no reason. I strongly believe there will always be a triggering factor but what separate good men from bad men is degree of self control..

optimisticlady said...

Everyone mustn't show sympathy•
People are wired differently •
Live and let live•

Anonymous said...

A million likes for this. 2 kids max

Jumiasalesagent contactme. said...

Behalf* @ Nobi's mum, am just wandering out loud not that am judging but if it sounds judgemental, accept my apology

Jumiasalesagent contactme. said...

@ nobi's mum,inputs are allowed so that more lessons can be learnt๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿ™…๐Ÿ˜Œ

Anonymous said...

She didn't give birth to 4 children, she gave birth to 2 and d other 2 is her step children.learn to read to ur understanding.

Anonymous said...

Role model kwa??? Enyia do u know wt a role model is bikonu?? Una sufri sufri for this blog!

Tetrina said...

Ah ah anon 14:50, easy mate! Dear Lord.๐Ÿ˜ž

Tetrina said...

Amen!

Uriel (Freshdew) said...

It is well with you

tybabe said...

My dear anonymous 14:59 you shldnt wonder about d kind of children she is raising only but I think one need to wonder about the kind of pple that raised her.

tybabe said...

My dear anonymous 14:59 you shldnt wonder about d kind of children she is raising only but I think one need to wonder about the kind of pple that raised her.

Tetrina said...

I like that you have not only shared your story but the lessons learnt, thank you.

Dope PH BaBe said...

Wow chillss, Madam thank God for you. You strong kakaraka, you will the fruit of Labour. Your kids will love you like no husband would, treat you well like no husband would and be there for you like no husband would.

Dope PH BaBe said...

Wow chillss, Madam thank God for you. You strong kakaraka, you will the fruit of Labour. Your kids will love you like no husband would, treat you well like no husband would and be there for you like no husband would.

Anonymous said...

I will never borrow money 4 anyone, i have learnt my lesson. Thanks poster.

PinKy berRy said...

Ma, you went through hell even while living!! Wow!

Thank God it is ending in praise ma'am. God will reward you abundantly.

Asa Nwa aka No wahala pikin said...

Me? Wants to use to shine? You must be very senseless... You are just a no body!!! You are on sdk blog forming blog lord abi queen.

Shameless woman... Witch. You derive joy hurting other people... Better change your ways Evil Woman... And im sure this is how you behave To people outside this blog...killing weak people eith the words of your mouth.. Onye nzuzu

BLOGLORD said...

Huh?
Is this for real or a movie?
WTF

Flourish said...

So shall it be for u. God has answered ur prayers. U want to remain single abi??? Because its all marriages dat are bad? Huh

Lady T/ am worth more than a thousand dollars said...

@Anonymous 14:28. That is so rude. You don't know half of what she went through. You have no idea if she had a say or not. Children are a gift from God sometimes you plan for them some of them come without a plan.
Again that was rude.

Anonymous said...

Good morning Stella , i would love u to publish my story pls do dont put my name thank you.
I would like to briefly explain how we met and what happened in our marriage.Met my ex husband 2012 in the states when me and my friends wanted to buy some cars ,we got along so well through out my stay,my friend later called me and said my ex was interested me and from then on we started talking on the phone almost everyday and when ever I flew in to states for business.
my ex-husband came to see me,he made his intentions to me that he wanted me as his wife .He came to Nigeria 2013 he paid my bride price and we also did our church blessing on that day ,we did our court marriage in 2014.
My ex husband was good when the marriage started we had our normal husband and wife issues,but i had some concerns at that time ,which was a particular day we had a issue my ex husband got so angry and started screaming that he chased me all the way upstairs that i ran straight to the bathroom and locked the door and he started banging the door till he made a dent on the door for me to come out he was so angry with me that day later on he started crying and apologizing for his behavior that he doesnt know what got into him that day and also while sleeping he would start behaving funny saying things are pressing him down and trying to suffocate him while he's trying to sleep and when he awakes up he would be angry for the whole day,every nights he would say demons are after him,my ex just got worse,this is a man that once threatened to kill himself because of his friend's death, he cried and cried and locked himself in the room that day that I was so scared I was like God what kind of man did I exactly marry. That's when I knew that was in trouble and I begged him please don't kill yourself ,what about me,you want me to become a young widow.,so i informed my pastor and he told me to pray and make sure we start attended a church,and while we were married we never for once went to church together.

Anonymous said...

My ex husband kept all the vital documents from our orginal wedding certificate for both court and church,he didn't put me on his insurance for his cars,he did everything from grocery shopping to paying for my phone bills.
,we didn't share any bank account together ,he paid for all the bills that came to the house cause all the things were in his name,I had nothing in my name with him that i knew of,l All I did was cook and keep the house clean.and stay home majority of the time.We lived up in the montains,So going out was a no no.
Soon after his mother came to live with us that was the end of my marriage ,let me give a brief summary of my husband mother he said she was a witch ,my ex made sure she didnt come to our wedding because he said she was the reason his life was messed up. A woman that could tell her daughter in law to just get her green card and leave her son for her, a 50 year old man,she moved in with us and he just changed completely ,she started cooking and he stopped eating my food it was as if he had two wives at home,once I cook something new my husband's mother would cook also, like it was a competition,he started smoking again and drinking which he would hide,this developed into a problem of control, anger and emotional abuse. I would call our pastor to talk to my ex to find out what going on and why he started doing things he had stopped but my ex would say nothing and start behaving as if nothing happened and go back to normal.my ex just behaved as if he had mood swings , he would scream at me for no just cause, which I later got to find out he was taking medication to try and quit smoking but the after affect was depression and low sperm count.
After sometime he stopped giving me money completely,he put a password on the cable that i watch to much tv.He stopped making love to me ,this is the same man that knew how much I wanted a baby and even told me to book an appointment with the fertility doctor in the hospital we even went to an appointment together.I would beg ,cry and ask what i did wrong, lf i touched him in bed he would leave the room and sleep downstairs till morning.My ex husband gave me the silent treatment,like I didn't exist in the house.

Anonymous said...

I had very chronic back pains,it was a Sunday and I beg my ex-husband to please take me to the the hospital my ex husband entered the room and lock the door he totally ignored me I kept on crying in pain I had to call his people back In Nigeria to please call my ex-husband he totally ignored all their calls after some time he finally opened his door and took me the hospital on the way to to the hospital my ex-husband kept insulting me that I was bothering him.
One day he finally said he was fed up with the marriage and he was miserable with his life so he had flied for divorce and he wanted me out of his house within a month,what I did my ex could not explain when I told him I wasn't going to anywhere he went crazy screaming that he would turn the water and power off and leave me in the house if I dnt move out. He went to removed me from the phone plan and I couldn't call anyone ,he collected the key to the mail box so I couldn't get my mails.unless he gave it to me.
His sister moved in May to live with us so it was a full house also and l got a job 20 mins from where we stayed so i could have money and also leave the house .Around June the sister gave me the divorce papers, my ex asked me when I would sign it , when I drew up an agreement letter of what I needed beforing signing, my ex immediately flared up and started screaming like a madman ,he returned the car that he bought for me and started saying he will not give me anything ,saying what did I bring into the marriage,I had no means of going to work so I would walk half way and get a yellow cab to take me the rest of the way,so I was working to pay for my taxi fare,when I had no money I would beg my ex and he would not respond, just go into his room and lock the door.The sad part is when you tell my ex husband all he doing he would start denying he,never did thoses things or said horrible words to me ,he always behaved as if he couldnt remember is actions towards me.(the story of my immigration is for another day)
I lived in fear and not sure of what he could do,I stopped sleeping,had a knife under my pillow just incase he went crazy at night , started having tenion headaches,depression had set in, crying almost every day and night ,I would use chairs and boxes to block the door when Im in the room,I only came out when he would have gone to work, I finally had to open up to my parents of what was going on ,.they told me to sign and move out before he would me hurt me,that all he would say his he is on medication that why he killed me. My uncle said not yet till he spoke to my ex and see what will he help me out with since he knew i had no one in America he can't just throw out me out on the streets, I stared looking for one room on Craigslist and I found one informed my ex and he gave me the money for deposit and 1st months rent and also told me to send my account number so he would send my rent monthly, not knowing it was all a plot for him to get me out of his house and sign the divorce papers with no spousal support. I finally moved out in July and signed the papers in August, When my rent was due in September my ex husband only responded ( you do work right...Please don't email me anymore)
I must say my ex never physically hurt me, but he verbal abused me ,emotionally and psychologically he made sure my life was a living hell while i stayed in his house.He knew i had no one in America ,and he could throw me out and get away with what he did. I see a psychiatrist now every two weeks to talk about everything that I went through it because I've buried it in my mind and the psychiatrist just feels that one day I'm going to pop if I do not talk about what happened, I wish i could write all the things he did but im so ashamed that i allowed myself to go through all this because i wanted to stay maried .It shall never be well with my ex and his household.God will punish him 100 folds and anyone who comes from that household will suffer what I went through.

Thanks Stella

Anonymous said...

True

Dope PH BaBe said...

You are right.๐Ÿ‘

Debbie me said...

I learnt a lot from this. Thank you so much @ the poster.

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