Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists -Most Hilarious/Annoying Date Ever.

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Saturday, January 28, 2017

Saturday In House Gists -Most Hilarious/Annoying Date Ever.

Today we are changing the topic but it either has to be interesting or funny or can even be both.





Tell us about the most hilarious date you ever went on with someone?Was it hilarious or annoying?

I have read on this blog where someone went on a date with a guy and her wig fell down when she least expected it,the recount was hilarious even though she might have thought otherwise.

This is open to both genders................Lets go!
The winner takes it ALL.....It is a cash priZe *side eyes at that BV who corrected me last week.

PS -You are allowed to copy but you must state that it is copied.The collators should also note that Original gist should be given preferential recognition.



133 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. I was home early last year when I got a call from one of my female friends that I should accompany her to see a friend. I didn't feel like going out that day but decided to prone further and she told me the venue - it was a tush restaurant and bar I always wanted going to. So I told her to give me an hour. I rushed to the bathroom, dressed nice and called to tell her I was set. So we got to the gate of the restaurant, something told me to ask her to call the dude. She did, and he said he was opposite the restaurant������. Hmmmmm, I decided to keep calm. He crossed over and met us, I wasn't impressed with what I saw and was thanking God I brought vex money. Introductions were made and he started moving, I noticed we were passing the restaurant, I drew her back and asked what's up.
      She then asked him where are we going to and he said his friend's shop. I was already hungry and tired and told her I wanted to go home. She pleaded with me not to leave her and I ended up trekking to the friend's shop. We got there and they were both speaking Igbo and discussing business and other issues. My hunger was onto another level. I told her I was leaving and would not listen to her pleas anymore, she told the guy and he said he had to go somewhere with his friend.
      I ended up spending wasting my time, money and energy. Gave her a piece of my mind and told her not to ever call me for such again.
      This is the worst date I have ever witnessed.#original

      Delete
  2. A Catholic Priest was dying in a hospital and asked the doctor to call a Police Officer & a politician .Within minutes, the two appeared. He asked them to sit on either side of the bed. The priest held their hands n kept quiet. The guys were so touched and at the same time felt very important for being summoned by a priest in his dying moment. Out of anxiety, the politician ask, 'But why did you call us? ' The priest gathered all his strength and said, 'Jesus died between two thieves.....I want to go the same way!!!!!!!!!!!


    #copied

    ReplyDelete
  3. Let's Laugh with this Copied Joke

    LADIES DISCUSSING THEIR SEX LIFE


    Mrs Ejiofor: I notice that when I go down on my husband and suck his dick, the balls are always cold.

    Mrs Okafor: My husband's balls are cold too when I suck his dick.

    Mrs Okonkwo was shocked and shouted at them: How can you both do such thing? It's disgusting.

    Both explained to Mrs Okonkwo that sucking a dick is the best way to make a man happy.

    Mrs Okonkwo said: I will try it tonight.

    Next Day

    Both were shocked to see Mrs Okonkwo's face bruised and with bandages all over her body. What happened, they asked?

    Mrs Okonkwo: I'm coming from the hospital, Mr Okonkwo did this to me.

    Ladies: But why???

    Mrs Okonkwo: I don't know o, as I was sucking, all I said was "Honey, your Balls are also cold like that of Mr Ejiofor and Mr Okafor





    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
  4. Replies
    1. I remember going for a blind date once and the guy showed up with his ex gf....That was still seriously into him.I couldn't believe it,He even helped her carry her bag.This so called ex of his was engaged to be married to someone else at the time o.

      I managed to stay for 30 minutes or thereabout,all the while,was chatting with my friend on BBM and telling her what happened.Begged her to flash me,formed an emergency and left.Called the guy when I got home and gave him a piece of my mind.The idiot said he couldn't stop her from coming as she knew how to bully him,and I was like,WTF??? Needless to say,that was our first and last meeting.I still laugh my heart out anytime I remember it.

      Delete
    2. Hahahahahaha, imagine that!
      Madness and Hilarity!

      Delete
  5. Interesting !
    Still whatever it is...the rules are as follows:


    *Anonymous gist and black colour id gist is invalid for wins
    *Each person is only entitled to one gist, multiple entry get you
    disqualified for any win
    *You must state the source of a gist ie either #copied or #original
    *The reactions on your gist also boost your chances of winning ie the number of lol/lmao/hahahaha etc
    *Anonymous /PLASTIC( ie those id that is black in colour) votes don't count ... only votes with blog id (blue colour ) is valid
    P.S : you can copy but FOR your gist to WIN it must be ORIGINAL
    E joor
    #lets turn up originality
    #and get the PRIZE
    One love
    ♡ ♥ ♡

    ReplyDelete
  6. Yes have got one to share,I have a date sometime and was asked to meet at an eatery and when i got there i was walking towards my date, I was putting on an easy wear that's got an heal before but because of too much rocking of the easy wear the heal has turned flat under and the eatery flood were all titles and I was walking in at same time feeling inferior while he was staring at me walking in, immediately the flood drew me I guess cause of that my nonsense easy wear and I fell flat at the eatery, before I knew it he rushed down to me and carried me, shame nor free me stay the date much longer.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pls write in English white berry. Can you comprehend what you even wrote? Jeez!!!

      Delete
    2. Choi!
      Headache...what is easy wear btw?

      Delete
    3. Hmm. Couldn't grab a thing!

      Delete
    4. An heal* wadafuq?
      I have a date sometime**** really?
      You really are wise to sparingly use full stop. My dear go back to school and make full stop your friend.

      Delete
    5. Were you wasted when you put this mess together?
      Was that heels?

      Delete
    6. No be lie, aswear your gbagauns na Original. Dem carry koboko sef...

      Delete
    7. Wtf did I just read?

      Delete
    8. Han Han easy on her nah
      But white berry it's hard to read what you just typed

      Delete
    9. Chai. Whiteberry na confirmed olodo.

      Delete
    10. Omg! I had to read all your comments and go back her story again before I could grasp that 'heal' 'meant 'heels' and 'easy wear' maybe 'slippers'? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ thanks for making my night Whiteberry.

      Delete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I've shared this here before
    I had a date with a fresh clean guy that I just met, but I don't have what to wear, so I decided to dye one of my old jeans, I bought dye,and it really comes out nice, so I went on the date .he took me to an eatery, rain has already started by the time we r through, so we have to run to where his car was parked, I was a little wet, so we drove to his house, nice house with cream colored sofas, so after much toasting and gisting, I stood up to go home, immediately I stood the guy shouted, what is this, I turned I looked at the cream colored sofa I sat on, lo and behold it's stained with black dye, chai see shame, the guy was so furious, and he said let me just drop u off, we got to the car park, he opened the car door, same thing on his car seat, chai the guy almost beat me, and shame catch me no be small.i shall took bike home. Guy no even call.me.again since then

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahahahahahahahaha...omg!!!

      Delete
    2. #wehdonMa @islandbabe
      That Jean must have seen better days.

      Delete
    3. Oh dear! But I gotta laugh cos its very funny.

      Hahahaha. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

      Delete
    4. Hahaha, chai this got me rotf

      Delete
    5. Lol haha this is really funny

      Delete
    6. Lol....babe u don win am. But d dude sha....haba. U should have offered to clean d sofa for him though

      Delete
    7. I have read this story sometime ago, but I don't know if you were the initial writer.

      Delete
    8. Lol, end time Jean

      Delete
    9. Anon,i said I've shared this here before,that was last year when the thing happened to me then I just dropped it as a comment .its original and it happens to me

      Delete
  9. *Abegi, make we Laugh small ooo*

    A newly married man arrived home from work looking down cast. His wife asked him, honey what is the problem?
    Husband : I have a problem.
    Wife: You don't say I when you're married, you say we. You know we're one, we share our burdens.
    Husband: Okay, we have a problem.
    Wife: What is it honey?
    Husband: Our secretary in our office is pregnant for us!
    Wife: You and who? Olori buruku thunder fire you and her. ...πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

    #copied

    ReplyDelete
  10. Remembered one of my girlfrienfds patch me up with one american returnee ,so we went on our first date. on the way to ikoyi he said my friend already told him I came to america for few months on a course,I said yes. Na so the guy begin ask questions,I said I stayed in new-york up black radius,he just started calling other areas I don't know ooo,Manhattan,bronzx and he won't stop,he turn to geography. By then he switch to fast food names,designer brands ,best hip hop artist,Obama history as Kenyan black man ooooo like I don't know say na black man? So annoying fake n disturbing. I said goodbye that evening ooo,not after taking my coconut ice cream haaaaaa. Pardon typos ooo.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Remembered one of my girlfrienfds patch me up with one american returnee ,so we went on our first date. on the way to ikoyi he said my friend already told him I came to america for few months on a course,I said yes. Na so the guy begin ask questions,I said I stayed in new-york up black radius,he just started calling other areas I don't know ooo,Manhattan,bronzx and he won't stop,he turn to geography. By then he switch to fast food names,designer brands ,best hip hop artist,Obama history as Kenyan black man ooooo like I don't know say na black man? So annoying fake n disturbing. I said goodbye that evening ooo,not after taking my coconut ice cream haaaaaa. Pardon typos ooo.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I went out with a guy.He told me he wanted to get me something to eat.I declined since I was fasting, but he insisted.
    We went to a fast food to talk, while he bought me the food since I opted for take away. When they brought the receipt he checked the receipt and was complaining about the amount and the removal of vat and consumption tax. I just kept mum cos I was already getting embarrassed.
    I got home and after breaking my fast,I decided to pounce on the food as i was tearing the chicken, it was filled with blood, like it wasn't cooked at all.
    While I was talking to him later that night, I told him about the chicken and all he could say was 'did you fry the chicken again, hope you didn't throw it away?' Like who does that.I'm like HIAN!
    I was annoyed and embarassed for him. In my mind that's the end for me and you.
    Lessons learnt:Run away from stingy guys the signs are always there. #original

    ReplyDelete
  13. Okay during my undergraduate days I was in my 100 level and I met this cute guy in his 300 level and fortunately for us our hostel were close to each other. we talked few times and decided to go on a date which We did and it was a beautiful that evening, we stayed out till 9pm so he decided to go drop me in my hostel but on getting to my hostel my gate was closed already so he pleaded I stay over his place(which I actually wanted)and leave the following morning, as a girl I am na I formed small and after having him convince me i finally went with him; not knowing that my village people would be having their meeting that same night on my behalf. So we got to the guys place and one thing led to the other we had sex and slept. At about 3am my body was soaked I woke up and behold It was urine I 'peed' on my body 'JESUS CHRIST what now?' I asked myself, as I was thinking about my mess the same urine wet the guy and he woke up. He looked at me and guess what he said when he noticed what happened? 'It's okay' he said. He took my hands raised me from the bed and took me to his bathroom and gave me water to shower. When I came back to the room I found out that he has cleaned up the place and turn the foam upside down so we had a dried foam again he noticed I was so ashamed but never cared he dragged me back to the bed and we slept till morning. I couldn't look at his face so I dressed up and ran back to my hostel. I did everything possible not to date him but he resisted and we ended up dating till he graduated from the school.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lolzzz, i can imarging.
      I tink Dat dewd was a nise sombori

      Delete
    2. Shame shame shame...shame!!!

      Delete
    3. It was a *one* that evening.

      I just saw Beloved rule. My story is real I mean original. There was a time I shared it half baked but this is the full story

      Delete
    4. Aaaawwwwwwww
      😍😍😍😍😍😍

      Delete
    5. Jeez..same thing happened to me..but we were dating kinda den and d worst thing It was dt time of d month and he also had a roommate..was so embarrassed.I practically ran to my room as early as. I refused to see him all day,was just cooking up excuses until he eventually came up to my room to pet me small....d piss sha.

      Delete
  14. IHG don come abeg lets laugh small
    English Lesson!
    Teacher: Today, we'll talk about question tags. Here are examples:
    1. She is coming, isn't she?
    2. They have eaten, haven't they?
    Now, who can give me another example?
    Villagers: Sir! Na Yam we go chop today, chopn't we?
    Teacher: What kind of sentence is that, please who can help correct him?
    JHW: Sir! Na yam we go chop today, yamn't we?
    Teacher: You guys must be stupid! Must you joke with everything? Γ“yΓ‘, James! I know you're brilliant. Give us an example.
    James: Na motor go kill our teacher, killn't him?
    Teacher: Na motor go kill your papa, papan't u?
    You all are now laughing. Laughin't u?
    Good think I can put a smile on someone face. Putn't I?
    Lol BV.

    #Original


    ReplyDelete
  15. This fine bobo in my neighbourhood was always pestering me for a date so i decided to give him a chance one fine saturday afternoon as i was feeling bored at home. Most of my lodge mates had travelled for weekend parole and the others went for fixed lectures. I called him and told him i was bored and he told me to get get dressed that he will come and take me to a nice place for us to chill.He was sooo excite. I quickly took my bath, arranged my 'cathedral bells' inside the new bra i just bought and wore a dress. I looked myself in the mirror and gave myself thumbs up bcos me sef know say i try. Little did i know that that bra was out to disgrace me. He picked me up and i told him i wont stay out long(i dont stay out beyond 7:pm except for church activities) and he agreed. We went to one cool joint and i ordered point and kill and a chilled bottle of malt. While waiting for the order, bobo turned himself to a comedian and started saying some funny stuff and i was laughing hysteriacally not knowing my bra had a surprise for me. In a bout of laughter,i heard 'kpa! Sisters in the blog,the hand of this my brand new bra just cut. Ha!! I became tensed immediately. Bobo noticed and asked me what the problem was but i couldnt talk, i just pointed to my chest. By now one of the 'cathedral bell' had descended while the other was pointing towards heaven. Poor bra, i guess the load was tok much for it to carry. The guy laughed and gave me his blazer (abi na jacket sef) to wear. That was how i couldnt enjoy my point and kil. The guy tried to make me fell at ease but i was super embarrased. I went home and threw away the end time brassiere
    #original

    ReplyDelete
  16. I once went on a date with a new guy like that. We had been talking for months online. This guy looked tushed with a white shirt, denim trousers and white snickers. We went into the eatery and he ordered for chicken, peppered snails and chips for me. Also a bottle of soft drink to go with it. He too ordered the same thing for himself.
    Well, I did not know how to use cutlery as in, knife and fork, I even watched as he ate but I was just too dull to learn from him. I ate all the chips with fork(that one easy na), it was time to eat chicken and snails and kasala burst o, I didn't know how to handle the knife together with the fork. My heart beat increased. He urged me to eat my meat and I formed as if I was relaxing. I later started struggling with the knife and fork to try and cut the snails before eating as they were big. That was how one snail bounced out of my plate and landed on Mr Tush's white shirt. I will never forget the look on his face that day. He was 'alarmed' and angry. I apologised profusely almost crying. He just went and requested for take-away pack and packed them for me to go and eat at his place. When we got home, I used my hand to scatter everything, no time lols. Later in the evening, it was time to do the do, after fore-play, Mr Tush put his something inside my something and the thing started bringing out Fart sounds, as in Praa praa. He did not even come before he angrily removed his thing and dropped me off later. I didn't hear from him again. That was my worst date ever. I don't know why p*ssy makes that sound sometimes and its not as if its wide o. Some say its air that causes it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lolz @ praa praa

      U need kegal exercise

      Delete
    2. Went out with a new guy and had sex on the same day? Wawuuu
      Wehdun sistur girl

      Delete
    3. #wehdonMa
      #wehdonVeryMuch

      Delete
    4. That pussy sound dey happen to me too,from the second time of my sex journey and really embarrasing..

      Delete
    5. Hahaha.. But how can u sleep wt a guy on first date? chai! Anyway don't be too alarmed, that ur pra pra is called squirting.. Release of air during sex.It can be embarrassing though cos it sounds like fart(but if d smell is offensive then that one na fart biko). It takes a mature guy to understand. If he didn't call u again then he's a confirmed small fuck boy.
      Next time close ya legs.. U hear?

      Delete
    6. Lols
      Praa praa
      This is a new one, we already have pa pa pa

      Delete
    7. Lol. I laughed hard.
      Girls that sleep with a guy on a first date have mind although it doesn't determine how long or good the relationship will be

      Delete
    8. Becky and Pipi.. Guys be nice.πŸ˜‚

      Delete
    9. Lol. I can imagine the shame.

      Delete
    10. c dis assholes judging her 4 havin sex on d first date, awon fake beevee oshi... my present girlfriend, i had sex wit her the first day we met and we re 3yrs nw, gettin married ending of dis year.

      Delete
    11. Haha that sound happens for me only when I do doggy... hubby don aclamatise to the sound

      Delete
    12. Wastepipe @ anon21:50, who cares about your dating history? And he had to validate himself by adding the marriage talk. Move over!!

      Delete
    13. Iphie...hehehehe, I tried ����������

      Delete
    14. Anon squirting is different from what she mentioned. .. The noise is called queefing. You got the explanation right tho. It caused by trapped that is pushed out of the vagina

      Delete
    15. Lol! The noise happens to err1...i cannot use a fork and knife...i give it to them to cut for me...they always think its cute

      Delete
    16. It's called queefing, not squirting.

      Delete
  17. I wanted to send my friend(female) an 'I miss u' message, I unknowingly mistyped d last two numbers. Immediately, a call came in it was a guy, I apologised n we kicked up 2 being friends from there. He invited me on a date after we ve been talking on phone for 3 months. I was excited n went with my last N200, my mum was even begging me to eat pap n moin-moin b4 leaving but I refused n told her I would eat out instead. Even promised my siblings lotta goodies. Wen I got to Mr biggs which was our meeting place. I sat down expecting him but had no idea wat he looked like cos wasn't using a browsing den '2005'. I kept staring every man in the face hoping he was the one. Sat for like an hour but couldn't call as I had no credit. Summoned courage n went to call him at a phone booth spoke for a min n was left wiv N100 which was my exact t-fare home. He said he was almost dere dt I should hold on. The security man at the door was already giving me side eyes n d aroma flying around was tormenting. I kept staring expectantly at everybody coming in/ going out. At a point the security came to ask me what exactly I wanted. I couldn't dare to buy a snack n risk trekking home which was a very long distance. After a 3 hours wait, I left, his call came in when I was in a bus dt he's sorry he couldn't make it. When I got home n dey asked me how my day went n where was the goodies I brought. I started crying n narrating my ordeal at the same time.
    #original#

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol sorry.Next time when going on a date,at a fastfood or aywhere,if the person is not coming to pick you,you should just jejely wait for the person to call that he is already there before you move

      Delete
    2. Who goes on dates to fast food restaurants still?

      Delete
    3. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Delete
  18. Mine was a date that did not happen
    When I was single,i had thing internet friend,we chat sometimes and he lived in South Africa or so,cant remember.then he came back to nigeria and we booked to have a date and meet.
    So on the day of the date,i went to the venue earlier so that I can get a better sitting position that can allow me see him first before he sees me,meanwhile where am sitting I can also view people outside too,so when he came,he was dressed in rugged denim up and down,had a tinted dred locks and tattoo,immediately I called his phone for confirmation while he walks in,and Gbam,it was him,i cut the call,put my phone on silent,while he was stepping in to get a sit and was calling me,i didnt pick and left the place,while on taxi,i picked his call and told him sorry"remember the lady on pink top that left while you were about sitting? "He said yes,i told him that I was the one and that I have gone too.after then I stopped picking and replying him and he left me alone.hope I did "north West"your time

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmaoooo...my kind of person. Done that a few times.

      Delete
    2. Coconut Lucille I yam not understanding,this friend you made on the Internet, you never shared pictures. You did not check his Facebook page? Twitter, instagram, linked in etc

      What were you doing? Sending text online? Na wa!

      Delete
    3. Remember we lived without those@anonymous.

      Delete
  19. #Don't make yourself too available for anyone... that's how you get walked all over*

    ReplyDelete
  20. DOUBLE EMBARRASSMENT!So I agreed to go on a date with this boy who's been asking me out. silver-bird cinema in FESTAC, Lagos was the venue. I got there before him and went into the mall to look around.I waited for about 30 minutes. Called and he said he will soon be with me. I just calm. Later my black shoe began opening in front. Jeeez Bvs see embarrassment. I managed to walk outside but no cobbler. I had to buy super glue from Aboki cover the torn part and walked back inside. He came looking swaggy and all lol. We went to check out the movies that will be showing for that day. I decided I liked one and insisted we see it. hmmm...bvs he said he wanted to use Atm in the hotel beside the cinema. I followed him inside the hotel o. na so ATM card say 'insufficient fund'I just dey look. He tried and tried no way. He now said we should go inside to check if they will reduce the price if he shows them student I.D. shame catch me no be small. We went inside and they we hae to pay normal prize na so guy boy ask if i will see the movie by myself and he should go. In my mind I was like this is no longer a date. Meanwhile he was all sweaty asked him what's wrong he said he needed to use the bathroom. Bvs na so e run go shit hot shit. He came back again and left to the toilet one more time. Told him I wanted to leave, I left feeling more embarrassed than anything. Broke boy forming he can take me out on a date. I shame for myself too. My email if I win lol -(taurusumoh@yahoo.com)

    ReplyDelete
  21. The last date I had was last year July and it was with a guy my friend introduced to me. We had been calling and chatting each other up online for a while. We exchanged pictures and all. I noticed He looked short in his pictures so I asked for his height and he said 5'6 which is also my height. I was a bit disappointed as I like tall guys na but I decided to manage sha. We arranged for a date at an eatery one evening sha. I got there oh and saw the guy. Lo and behold this guy was not 5'6 like he claimed. He was short as f**k. I was mad as hell but I covered up with a fake smile. I immediately lost interest. See him looking like my baby brother as we went to order at the counter. He asked about me putting up an attitude and I told him 'I thought you said you were 5'6, you are supposed to be standing head to head with me '. He laughed was like 'True sha, but I used to be 5'6.....'. When I heard 'I used', my mind screamed jesus!!. In my mind I was like armed robbers stole half of your height?, or u lost part of ur height in a bet?. I had to look for d best reason to justify his ridiculous excuse. The date barely lasted 30mins. P.S Mimi I'm still angry with you oh, I thot you were my friend..

    ReplyDelete
  22. Lol. I can imagine the shame.

    ReplyDelete
  23. When I was still in school. I had a date with this guy. Meanwhile I don't know how he got my contact. I got to Mr Biggs waiting for this dude. To my greatest surprise I saw a short man with this hunch back smiling towards me. I almost fainted. Out of fear I did not eat anything. Infact I still think that man is a spirit.

    ReplyDelete
  24. I agreed on a date with a guy that has been disturbing me for a while.Immediately they served the food I just bent over and started eating with haste ( I was v hungry) forgetting I was on a date.Eventually when I finished eating and I raised my head I saw him shaking his head. I couldn't explain anything, shame enveloped me. He dropped me off and never came back again.

    ReplyDelete
  25. It was during my service year in Lagos. I went out with this fellow corp her that was trying to start a relationship with me. So we go to one fast food joint at Iyana Ipaja. He was wearing a white t-shirt with some blue linings and guess what? The fast food workers were wearing something really really similar. He ended up looking like one of the staff. I felt so embarrassed. Coz people kept wondering why d hell a staff was sitting so comfortably with a customer.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I had a date at ikosi Mr biggs, after we had our meal, the moron said we should go to his friends house ooi. I said I am not , this is my 1st day with u. My fellow brevets dis guy change face for me ooo. He started insulting me sha, I stood up to get bike, he followed me out, hmmmm I could not talk, he was still insulting me, unknown to him or should just say my head strong wella, this idiot fell inside the gutter, chaiii very dirty gutter. I just waved down a bike and left the scene. The guy later called to beg. I no gree pick his call again.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Idiot took me to coldstone. I don't think he had been before. Anyway sha when we git to xoldstone and he saw the prices he started to sweat. He now started saying loudly "all these sugar, won't it make you fat?" in front of people.i didn't even bat an eyelid. He sha bought it then on the way back it was an awkward silence. He tried to apologize but no thanks.

    ReplyDelete

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