Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Service Year Boulevard 55

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Friday, 20 January 2017

Service Year Boulevard 55

WOW!!!



The sound of my alarm woke me up and I quickly got up excited to go to school to check where i was posted to. i was so confident it was Lagos because i worked it. before i got to school (its about 45mins drive from my house) i called a friend of mine that was already in school and she said i was posted to Oyo state, i started crying till i got to school to see for myself.

I called my mum and she said i should just go to camp that i would redeploy later.


Fast forward to the day i was supposed to go to camp, my dad's driver and orderly (he s a military man) took me from lagos to Oyo state. the camp was at iseyin. the journey was rough and tiring. i slept most of the time. finally we got there. i was given vip treatment. i registered immediately, got my kit and room. the hostel was quite neat. but the bathrooms were a no go area.


 infact we had our baths outside (which was prohibited) as early as 3am. one day the soldiers came to chase us while we were bathing outside. we all ran into our hostels with nakedness and soap all over. lol!. throughout the 3weeks camp, i defecated only 3times. once per week. i took exit permission thrice saying i wanted to use the atm, then i would go to one eatery close to the camp, use their not so neat but manageable toilet, then balance and eat well before returning to camp. 

One day i used their toilet, the whole eatery was smelling badly. i was so ashamed eh! like the ground should open and swallow me. because as i came out, i saw one cute camp guy that was a popular yoruba actor in our camp. my shame was complete. i just squeeze face tell am hi, go seat down chop my usual lol! (who actor help)


I made friends with some cool girls and guys. though i prefered the company of my school mates in camp. we soon formed a clique. 2girls and 4guys. we painted mammy market red, blue, black! i never ate camp food. we made friends with some soldiers that would allow us sneak outside the camp, go to one mountain like that and smoke weed. ah! i enjoyed those trips eh! i eventually didnt Redeploy again.


Camp was super cool and i didnt even want it to end. i was treated like a vip because the camp commandant (he's late now. was killed by boko haram) was asking me out. i hardly come out for parade. i would sleep and sleep then go to mammy market to cool off at night. a night to passing out, the camp commandant said i should spend the night in his room (guess i had to pay for all the privileges). I told him not to worry, let me go and bath. after bathing, i put my phone on silence and slept off in my room. the next morning i saw 120 missed calls and a message saying "i dont blame you". ah! kongi would have killed the guy eh!. 

he saw me collecting my posting letter and eyed me eh! i later apologised and sha gave him one silly excuse for not coming that night.


I was posted to the governor's office Ibadan, as i had anticipated because my dad worked it. i rented an apartment. the landlord was an old man. 10pm e don lock gate (only him had the key). he bluntly told me that he only wants to see me with one guy which i must introduce to him (as my papa abi?) and i must call him daddy (see me see wahala o) i just tell am ok daddy (yimu) to let peace reign as that was the only house making sense.

 Ibadan sha! very dirty dirty town! (sorry if am offending anyone). food stuff is very cheap though.

I resumed work. there was nothing much to do. i chilled most of the time and weekends i go to lagos. the honourables were always asking me out but they were so stingy. them no de dash money at all except you get down with them. hian! 

I avoided them like a plague because na so so jazz them they do (i no want anybody to trade my destiny) and there was rumour that one corper followed one honourable and they found her by the road side dead with her breasts removed.


One day i entered a one chance taxi and they used the usual format for me ( was a novice than). i followed them to the so called pastor's house to break the charm, thank God i didnt have atm and i promised to come back with money the next day. they said i shouldnt tell anybody if not i will die. well the next day, i gisted my uncle then he laughed and told me the format. 


I called one of the guys and insulted him. the next thing he said was "shut up there yeye girl, if to say i r**e you scatter your small yansh you for no get mouth to talk".

I had a fling with one yeye yoruba dude. i think he used jazz on me o! because i cant comprehend. 

Anyway service year was good. i passed out successfully after service and i didnt miss Ibadan one bit! asides the gbagauns (yoruba people can gbagaun for africa) and amala ati gbegiri with cow leg and cow tail.

 hope i didnt bore you guys?


Bore us keh?eyes dey turn me sef join this gist...I see you are one of the ajebotas in camp.Your gist sweet sha.*side eyes*


38 comments:

beeolah said...

Just wow

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

hahahahaha they will come for you.

Congrats ooo. Old school landlords are wahalas. See them controlling their house as if they lives depend on it.


hahahaha they are peak milk.... it is in them. dorty people

Anonymous said...

Nice

marriedchick said...

nice story, Biko you guys to the mountain to smoke weed as in weed? I hail ooo

STARRY LARRY said...

You're very rude and arrogant, getrararaherrrre, mind you, I'm a bona fide Ibadan babe, I'm so proud of my Town, tell us yours




*Larry was here*

Single Mom said...

Nice gist


Long live SDK

Anonymous said...

You smoke weed? Wonderfulment

Inimitable said...

No comment

Mao Akuh said...

Nice one but stop the weed. God loves you.

Geraldine Ogwe said...

Funny girl.

Anonymous said...

mtcheeeeeeeeew, so what has this taught us?

boring af!!!

Pinochiodee said...

Was alright.

Anonymous said...

Abeg! Which jazz did he use on u? Olobo town council.

LAS GidDY said...

Spoilt rich kids smoking weed upandan...

kilo kan mi

Anonymous said...

i cant wait to go for service
will send mine too

Starjoy said...

Nice story though but the weed part bad oo

Efemena akugbe said...

Hopefully I would have energy to write my own SYB, it was fun Sha.

Efemena akugbe said...

Loool. The weed girl

Arsenal Firstlady said...

I raise Beyonce hand for you as una dey go on top mountain go smoke weed. General pikin! Hian, welhdon ma

Anonymous said...

Lmao 😂.... Hilarious! Was laughing all through. This poster is so funny. Love your story though.. Super interesting

Kween said...

I love your story. It was a great read.
Can't wait to send mine as I begin camp next week. I hope to have fun tho.

Valentine Onochie said...

Odimma

St.FranKooL.... said...

#No one's perfect. So try to be comfortable with who you really are*

ohis said...

U try for d story... but try to stop smoking is not good especially for a lady.

Lora said...

No mind am

Iphie dearie said...

Ah! Those eateries saved my life in camp!

Classic Chic! said...

Nice read!

I hope u are still communicating with ur daddy(Ibadan) *side eyes*

Classic Chic! said...

But u smoke weed! Repent!

charitybino said...

Smoking weed. Orisirisi for camp sha
I need a job before Nysc first batch My location is Ikorodu

Dez Asanwa said...

I guess you served 2011, cos the cc then sa'ad died just like u explained. Babe half of your story na lie sha. Every girl claimed the cc asked them out cos he was a fine dude. He had a main babe who nobody knew about, he didn't treat her like VIP cos they were coded, neither did he treat anyone else like VIP. In fact to proof he wasn't dating any of the girls who weren't going to the parade ground to his girlfriend, he punished everyone who didn't leave the hostel on the last Sunday in camp, am sure u were among those. If your dad is a soildier I want to believe u stay at the barracks around alaba market, how can u compare that area to some parts of Ibadan please? If you worked at governo's office as claimed, you would have lived in the center of town, abi na village you go pay rent? I served at Ibadan too and I stayed at a neat and posh area. #stopTheLie.

Beautiful Eagle said...

Please stop smoking weed! Do your parents even know about this bad habit?

keke driver said...

I like ladies that smoke weed... S3X is always cray cray

Anonymous said...

Me self smell her lie too 👃👃👃

ukwu dimond said...

So you did not collect during your service year? Is OK.

Anonymous said...

Nah! I dont like this. Entitled and tribalistic. If you consider Yoruba people so beneath you and your queens English, you should have worked your service to your village nah. They do this, they do that. Ibadan is this, it is that," one Yoruba boy had a fling with you"? It must be jazz? Weren't there other tribes there when you were serving? Why you no date them?
I work with other tribes and my Nysc camp was in Kano state, I attended a unity school but I would never say stuff like that about any tribe. Ever.

Anonymous said...

Too much lies, spoiling Ibadan for us na so Ibadan bad reach....

Anonymous said...

Am sure you smoked your weed before typing this your story... Just bad mouthing Ibadan like it's that bad when you will be looking for 30k house about you will definitely get it in a local environment and na that kind house they get Baba landlord way go they close get by 10pm..
If you stayed in a good area you will pay more and definitely have a security man to open and close your gate anytime you come home # fake ajebo

Anonymous said...

I figured she was lieing too. Unintelligent lies

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