Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists- Valentine Jokes

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Saturday, 11 February 2017

Saturday In House Gists- Valentine Jokes

Got Any Valentine Jokes to Share?--I hear the Ladies have stopped attacking guys on this blog because Valentine don nar face finish...LOL....






In the spirit of Valentine and since we couldnt get anyone to gift cake,I will gift the winner with a Valentine present.

Ladies watch out for men forming quarell just to escape celebrating Valentine with you oooh..hheeheeehhe Thats a joke right? *side eyes*


66 comments:

Miss Ess said...

Oya let's laugh our sorrows out....its my birthday so it's always memorable in a positive way for me.

STARRY LARRY said...

Until someone give me genuine reason to celebrate Val, I still dey on low key here





*Larry was here*

Bianca BRUNO said...

Hian! ! If I knew I would have sent my email oh for cake. I love cake. Stells is it too late?
Pweety please
*puppy eyes

Btw buhari don show? Abi the guy still dey miss?

Beloved said...

Now this will be very interesting

You all know how we do it

Let the best gist win

Ibukunoluwa said...

2012 Val's day
Took my friend's out
Met this guy who's been crushing on me tey tey
He asked me out
Said yes on the 15th
Broke up 4yrs and one month later
Nigga wanted to cage me( no social media,outings etc) and yet was putting his dick into every hole...
Almost had our introduction January 2015 but as God dey nah...I no gree...
Nigga cheated on me with over fifteen girls...we still talk now tho
He said he won't marry till I marry cos that's when he will believe I've finally left him....
See life😩

Isaacson said...

A woman was taking a nap on Valentine’s Day afternoon. After she awoke, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a gorgeous and expensive diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight,” he said.
That evening, her husband came home with a small package for her. Thrilled, she opened it and found a book titled “The Meaning of Dreams.

#copied

Adanne said...

I respect your privacy, biko keep it that way, before they will come and go and say they want to open your nyash, lol.

Make the gist roll , as I no get gist naaa.

Nice day everyone

Chidinma Gift said...

Only in IBADAN you will see an ALBINO with tribal
marks! Some parents are wicked…………Lol Happy
Weekend

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Yes,you are late

missylynn said...

Happy Birthday Miss Ess

Adanne said...

Hbd

Adanne said...

'N' word? Not cool,you are black babes.

missylynn said...

*Son*: Dad, what do I give my
girlfriend as a Valentine gift?
*Dad* : How does she look?
*Son*: She looks sweet, pretty, fun to be with, and even tall and also fair in completion with a nice hips.
*Dad* : Give her my phone number.
πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€
#copied

Beloved said...

Happy birthday Miss Ess
if na me be you eh I for wait small and come out on 14th
lol
happy birthday again
catch fun dear..it is your day

Anonymous said...

Horror movie.

The Boss Lady said...

Lmao...

becky naka said...

After work i'll be at home browsing and playing games. Would have gone out with mum and sis but account balance na gbagam, lol.

Pipi Lee said...

Asswipe!!!

Pipi Lee said...

Hahahahahahahahaha

Malumi Dont Beat Mi said...

This happened some years ago,a bit long and not funny.
Worst Feb 14 ever.

Before 14 had like two ladies had been eyeing and both happen to be from same school but different department.
I planned all even before Feb 10 that would invite them over but different dates and a space of a week apart then conclude who would be my val.
GSM wasn't much in circulation then so all was sight and yahoo messenger.
The first week passed, Lady A didn't show up,all effort to get her was not forth coming.
Second week came too lady B didn't show up after all the push up and exercise. In fact all through the month of first week of Feb didn't hear from them both. Thought to myself you win some u lose some.
Feb 14 finally came and was jejely hibernating in my house wen lady B suddenly showed up. I happy die, already viewing fresh laps, all was fine oh, d crib had a pent house, sat up viewing, gisting and others when the door bell rang, if I had known was lady A I for just keep mute.
Never been so dramatised in my life, it was then I believed not all stammering was biological or hereditary.
Tried playing cool trying to keep all mutual no strings attached but this ladies men....
All would be smiles and fun when der but as soon as I stand come see interrogation.
At first pretended I didn't hear but later on it was a mess, one wanted to dance so turned on music, the other complained the movie she was watching, the music didn't allow her hear...that was how the fight started.
As gentle guy as I was back then I was just looking and praying that on one comes to the house.
One held the TV remote, other held the deck remote, both volume was on the highest.
Lady B got tired and said if truly she is who I want I should walk out lady A. Lady A said the same both standing looking down at mi waiting for instructions.
To cut the story short both left with my house upside down.
That was the day I determined never to double date again till date.
Worst Day Of Life with ladies

Gbogbo bigz girlz said...

πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

Oluwadarasimi™ said...

On Val's day, in 2005, i had exams. When i was done in the evening, every corner i looked people were in two's , showing love n affection. My friends n I were feeling left out though each of us had a boyfriend, mine was forming fight so I kukuma leave am, H's boo wanted her cookie for val but she no one gree, L was expecting a date with hers but he cancelled. On our way home i suggested a walk outside the gate to clear our heads, after walking some distance, we saw a woman frying fish n I suggested we bought some n then we took bike to my place. We got there I brought out 'koret ijebu garri' with sugar, we poured it into a big bowl n sat round it on the floor. One of us suggested, the last to finish was to clean the bowl that was how the rush began. We were dragging the bowl n fighting for fish even laughing seriously at ourselves. It was serious fun..

miss priya said...

Happy birthday to you miss Ess. Do have a wonderful day

becky naka said...

Hahaha

becky naka said...

Lol

miss priya said...

Lol

Kennydonatus@gmail.com said...

Dec 24th '10. I and my cousin were travelin to our villa in imo state for xmas: in a black range-rover with 400k in cash wit us (maga don over pay!). Then while approachin okigwe (close to my villa), we noticed a huge crowd of villagers gathered like it was a terrible accident scene. i begged my cousin to pull over so dat we culd give d victim a ride to any nearby hospital n probably settle d bills (too much money). he stayed back in d car while i went to get the victim to d car (we cudnt leave d cash alone in d car!). Wen i got close, i noticed dat d crowd was too much so i needed a trick to get to d victim. As a very good bad guy, i started screamin words like '' excuse me!!, Dats my family member!!, make way!, dats my family member'' (in igbo language). The crowd automatically cleared for me (like magic) only for me to get to d middle n meet d biggest disgrace of d year: d victims were two white cows knocked down by a trailer!. D villagers started laffin wildly! Oboy see f*ck up!! To make matters worse, my cousin who noticed dat d crowd was laffin loudly decided to drive away from d scene instead of comin to check on me. walking away from d scene back to d car remains d longest 2minutes of my life!. I had to continue d drivin to our home cuz my cousin cudnt stop laffin (for more dan 15minutes).

Chinny Baby said...

Lmao

Anonymous said...

This your story be as e get. Can't you type in English?

Sparkling Golden Teeth said...

This happened when I just finished from secondary school
The guy bought me a correct pack and I was so happy cause the bag was filled up, I got to my dad's shop and myself and my friend decided to do justice, you know how Yoruba dad can be, the man kept asking where I got it and I was happy to tell him a friend gave me for Valentine, as the Justice time came he was there when we were offloading it, first thing was cake, followed by card, all this singlet with short and then a last pack, it was pant and bra, I looked straight at my dad, you can imagine the frowness on his face I jejely looked away
Rip Dad

Chickyclassy Mee said...

I was in school and it was two days to valentine and everyone was planning and gisting on what 14th would be like with their boyfriends so one of our friends named Anita had a boyfriend named Emeka,who lived off campus, she bragged about vals day that it would be the best for both of them,she even made a fantastic hair for vals day,14th came she was still in the hostel while some of us went for a lunch and to have fun for the day, eat , drink and then we returned in the evening to see Anita, she said Emeka,s phone was off all through that day, he never came to take her out as planned, when she went to his house, his door was padlocked, she was alone all through that day, we kind of laughed cos she bragged so much, on the 15th , being the next day, it rained heavily, she said she is happy it's raining so that thunder will fire the girl Emeka spent the vals day with, she was mad especially because she had bragged so much and even went to make an expensive hair.This is my original story.

Miss Ess said...

Noo misslyn and Adanne. I meant that feb14 is always memeorable for me because it is my birthday. Beloved, am a full fledged confirmed Valentine baby, as a matter of fact my mom said Labour knocked 4am and I came 5:20am on a Thursday of that year, I was so ready to come that day without wasting time, thehehehehehe. So not today o lol. I receive the birthday greetings in advance anyways. Thanks you babes.

Pipi Lee said...

Hahahahahahahahahahaha

Becky Divine said...

Hahahahahaha wicked man

Shennel said...

English bro!!

Weed Chic said...

Let me say my own memorable val. It happened in secondary school. People were receiving gifts from their boos and I was all alone. In the evening, two girls approached me that one of my very good friends bought me a val's gift and that I should come and see it. My face lit up. I was surprised and feeling special. Only for me to go and see that the gift was a loaf of bread with a lit candle on it. They all started laffing at me 😒😒😒😒😒😒😒

*throws weed away and sobs*

Weed Chic said...

Happy birthday Ess

Esther Mgbolu said...

Hbd

deltapikin said...

2012 Val is a day I won't forget so easily because I was into a relationship with a guy.2 weeks to Val we were having a fight so I told my friends about it and they advice me to avoid me and not pick his calls....On Val day he called me and I didn't picked..so I decided to hang out with my so called friends..it was fun as first because we were going frm one joins to d other,we saw his car at one joins and we decided not to go there,so we left there for another place.When we got to d other place as we are waiting for our order is not fort coming,we decided to leave.lol and behold I saw dis guy with his younger bro and a girl.the girl was sitting beside him I got to their table is like d ground should open and swallow him...hehehehe see wahala I con ask guy boy who be d girl and he say na e friend.what kind of friend omo boy no fit talk again see me don dey vex.I go where he parted he car to destroy something as my own way of giving him Val gift.omo boy come meet me for he car d talk rubbish na there wahala started.we fought ourselves along d road even army wey dey pass no stop to ask us wetin dey cause fight.nollywood people wey dey act film stop to dey look us.see us dem carry d girl run that day frm me.some of his friends had to come and settled us that night.con see where my friends change am for me.con dey say why I no pick his calls when he called me.in my mind I was like is not you guys that said I shouldn't take his call.that dey sha I fear my friends...Two weeks later bobo con dey beg ooo..I later found out who d girl was not knowing she was sleeping with a friend of mine..she is now married and we are friends.

Quality Madam said...

Yesterday was the saddest day in my life. I was at upper iweka in onitsha when i saw a woman seriously complaining about her stolen phone. So I went near her to listen to what she was saying.. I was also downloading something with my phone at that same time.. immediately she saw my phone she told the crowd that's her phone which was Iphone 7.. For a moment i couldn't even open my mouth, i was so confused. she held me and slapped me. the crowd attempted to beat me up. But luckily a policeman was passing by and he came into the scene.. He asked what was going on and i explained with tears all over my face.. He sent me to the police station together with the woman and I still explained to the policeman that i was innocent.. So the policeman asked the woman to call her phone.. she called and a girl picked and told the woman it was her daughter. The girl told the woman that she left her phone at home when she was leaving ... I even cried more and more because I had already been disgraced .. The policeman told the woman to settle me with some money.. The woman pulled 5million naira out of her bag and wanted to hand it over to me but it was just too much for me so i just opened my eyes, stood up from my bed and went to urinate. Please do you think I should go back to sleep?πŸ˜‚πŸ˜₯πŸ˜‚πŸ˜₯πŸ˜‚πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
I hope i win

sholetoga said...

Can't stop laughing....lol. Quality Madam, go back to sleep ohhhhhh...kwakwakwa

Anonymous said...

Miss Ess, that means you are 37 yrs old. 1980

GOONs Mi said...

Mine was in secondary school, ss2 to be precised, I had this classmate of mine drooling over me, it was so choking I told him I was ready to date home seeing that Valentine was around the corner.

Gbam valentine show, my boo called me outside and gave me a big fancy plastic bag that was sealed and I was like all this for me he said yes, I said thanks(dancing ajasco in my mind) and left him to my class room windom to signal my girls to com see my val gift so we can open together and do the awwwws and ohhhs.

I opened the bag na shoes I see, size 42 shoes that has been worn with sand under them and I was a size 37 den. I wan die, my girlfriend don laugh fall for ground while I de there wan cry, long story short, I call the boy and told him to return his elder sisters shoes. Na so relationship take end o.

Whenever I hear of valentine, I think of my val gift and shake my head.

SDK Lastborn said...

Miss Ess my birthday mate, I also arrived after 4am Feb 14, they expected me on the 13th, Iffa hear, I no show anywhere till Valz day, Aunty stellz biko feature is on that day o

becky naka said...

Please use ur language next time

Anonymous said...

Enter your comment...i love this blog, it is simply superb!

Dr. laide said...

Lol

Anonymous said...

Frowness? Really?

Anonymous said...

English on wheelchair.

Weed Chic said...

You dey craze. I come dey pity u sefπŸ˜ƒ

Anonymous said...

Chaiiiii πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ See Me laughing

Anonymous said...

Can understand ur writing. Write in good english

Lemonade said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ interesting story

Lemonade said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚this is funny

Lemonade said...

Aaawww

SUGAR MπŸ’‹ said...

Kennny Donatus,I can imagine LOL!

SUGAR MπŸ’‹ said...

Quality madam u must go back to sleep o LOL!

SUGAR MπŸ’‹ said...

Quality madam u must go back to sleep o LOL!

SUGAR MπŸ’‹ said...

Delta pikin ur English is just not enough!!! Lol

SUGAR MπŸ’‹ said...

Kennny Donatus,I can imagine LOL!

Malumi Dont Beat Mi said...

Funny...

Candy said...

Lol. Isaacson should win abeg. So far, he has d best. All this pple "stealing" jokes we've read b4, not even vals jokes sef. All bcos of gift.

Malumi Dont Beat Mi said...

U can as well interpret the story in English again to increase my chances.
Awon Lingua franca

Lola said...

Lol I've always been nice to u guys

Green Field said...

@quality madam, this ur story ba copy copy

Anonymous said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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