Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: A Biblical Approach To #WifeNotCook Brouhaha

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Sunday, 12 March 2017

A Biblical Approach To #WifeNotCook Brouhaha

 In honour of the just concluded International Women’s Day in which I appreciate all positive women in my Life, but I still need to drop my point of view on this trending matter #WifeNotCook.




I am of course prepared for any criticism this post will encounter, but I spark a debate by implying “real women know how to cook.” I stand here to say that Wives /Ladies who don’t know how to cook are Lazy personified which is why I wrote this with a very strong convictions and reasons both biblical and societal.

I find it very irresponsible that some women go to the salon or visit friends for a whole Sunday to gossip and cannot find time to prepare those Meals that can make a Man Sneak From A Football Match Just For A Bite.

You will agree with me that there are women over 19 who do not know how to prepare Good Meals, but can dance to different kinds of music in clubs. I mean, a Woman Should Learn How To Cook Before She Can Taste Alcohol Or Bend Over In Clubs.

The bigger scandal is that women born after 1980 cannot prepare proper meals to sustain a marriage. Now we have a generation of men who will never know the healthy and spiritual benefits of a proper homemade meal.


Back in the day, women were expected to know how to cook. We can thank the almighty social media for exposing us to the over sharing of personal information. I have witnessed women brag about not knowing how to cook. And some of them take pride in being modern women who went on to obtain “DEGREES” instead of learning to bake. I’ve also
been no stranger to bearing witness to full-blown debates between women who could cook versus the women who couldn’t.


Lets Get Back To History
At least one common cause of the housework gap can be traced back to childhood chores. A variety of studies have found that girls are asked to do more work around the house than boys. One study found that girls did two more hours of chores a week while boys got twice as much time
to play. This dynamic carries a lesson for both genders: girls learn that housework falls on their shoulders, and boys learn that girls will clean up after them.


Biblically
It is indeed true that most religious and traditional doctrines
stipulate that the man is head of the family and the woman should be submissive. But we both know domestic laziness does not make the man head, just as ability and willingness to cook does not make the woman submissive.

Anyone who eats should be able and willing to cook. It’s only fair that way.

Pastor Adeboye said to rapturous applause.

"Don't marry a woman who can't cook," "A girl who cannot cook will not be a good wife."
Same way "Don't marry a man who has no job…A man is to provide for the house, not the other way around."


What Does It Mean To Be A Woman?
Being a woman is more than biology, and maybe it even goes beyond critically looking at gender as a social construct.

A Lazy Wife - Wives Not Cooking and Doing Domestic Chores Is A Sin of LAZINESS

You come home from work to find piled up dishes from dinner the night before. Clothes are everywhere and nothing in the house has seemed to move while you were gone – including your wife. Your wife says “Honey
I don’t feel like cooking – how about you run and get us some
takeout?”

While both genders struggle with all types of sins including LAZINESS there are some sins that are more prominent in one gender over the other.  For instance men often struggle with having a lack of empathy, grace and mercy in their personal relationships including their relationships with their wives and children. But on the other hand, one of the greatest struggles for many women is the struggle against the sin of laziness.


The reason for this is because women can often times allow themselves to be completely controlled by their emotions.  For many women if they feel like doing something then they do it and if they don’t feel like doing something then they don’t do it whereas most men are creatures of duty so whether they feel like doing something or not men will do their duty.

Imagine that your son or daughter left their bed a mess and left toys and clothes all over their room. Would you go in and make their bed and clean up their clothes and toys? If you did this would this be showing your child kindness, empathy, grace and mercy? I think we
could answer this question with a resounding “no”.

Why? Because if we go and clean up their room we are not teaching them that it is THEIR responsibility to clean their room. We are in essence enabling the sin of laziness in our children when we allow them to keep their rooms messy.

But somehow our modern culture has a different standard when it comes to a woman keeping her home which is something the Bible clearly commands:

“4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” – Titus 2:4-6 (KJV)

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak
reproachfully.” – I Timothy 5:14 (KJV)

The Bible says
“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church” (Ephesians 5:23) and Christ tells us regarding his churches that “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.” (Revelation 3:19).

PLEASE NOTE - Disability Is Not The Same As Laziness

Now I need to stop here and give the obvious exceptions. If your wife is sick or somehow physically unable to keep up with the affairs of the home then this is not a matter of laziness on her part but rather the inability to do these things. In this case God has called us as husbands to lovingly step in and aid our wives.


Traits of a Godly Wife

1) A Godly Woman Always Seeks to be Modest in Her Dress - Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. (NIV). (Proverbs 7:10)

2) A Godly Woman Always Seeks to be Holy in Her Conduct - Come, let's drink deep of love till morning; let's enjoy ourselves with love! My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey… (Proverbs 7:18
- 29, NIV)

3) A Godly Woman Seeks to Care for the Home - She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. (Proverbs 31:13, NKJV) She manages her home well (Titus 2:5.) She loves to tangibly serve others with
food and skills. She has a home that is open and hospitable and she is given to ministry to the sick and needy and less fortunate.


4) A Godly Woman Seeks to Serve Others - She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. (Proverbs 31:15, 20, NKJV) She has learned the love of Christ for others.


5) A Godly Woman Strives to be a Person Who Can be Trusted - The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-16).


6) A Godly Woman Seeks to be Prudent in Financial Matters - She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard.
She makes linen garments and sells [them,] and supplies sashes for the merchants. (Proverbs 31:16, 24, NKJV) She is a saver not a spender.
She can see beyond today alone.


7) A Godly Woman Seeks to be a Hard Worker - She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. (Proverbs 31:17,19, NKJV) God puts a premium on hard work and so she moves toward it not away. There
is no slothfulness, indolence or lack of motivation.


8) A Godly Woman Seeks to Do the Right Thing and Have a Good Reputation - Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. (Proverbs 31:23)


The level of laziness and dearth of creativity is not only annoying, but quite unsettling.

Even worse, the number of women who know how to cook proper meals is on a sharp decline. We now have a generation of millennials who know how to mix their liquor punch better than brewing good tea for breakfast. Just about the only other thing they know how to dish out is fruit salad (in which case three-quarters of it will be watermelon
and paw-paw, which are really terrible fruits).

Now, the only place the newly-married man can go for a proper meal is at his mothers or his favorite aunt’s place. That is where his best meals are served, yet he is married, pays rent and even has children.
#Ojoka #GodForbid

I find it very irresponsible that some women go to the salon or visit friends for a whole Sunday to gossip and cannot find time to prepare those Meals that can make a man Sneak From A Football Match Just For A Bite.


Now to Men; There are many POTENTIAL reasons that might lead to Wives Not Cooking. What doesn't change is how you could be handling this.
Start picking up some of the slack. Take over dish duty and vacuuming.
It sounds like she usually exclusively takes care of all domestic
duties, but you are a partnership.


SHE IS YOUR WIFE, NOT YOUR MOTHER. You bear some responsibility in helping keep a tidy home, and food to eat. If she is Choosing To Strike, showing her you notice and care will make a difference. If sheis depressed, showing her you appreciate and care for her will make adifference. If she is ill, showing her you care for her and can pickup the slack will make a difference.


Thanks
I remain


Sent in By Frank Susu Okafor
 


124 comments:

Miss Ess said...

Nice one bro, a wife is a help mate

Woman not slave said...

[I find it very irresponsible that some women go to the salon or visit friends for a whole Sunday to gossip and cannot find time to prepare those Meals that can make a Man Sneak From A Football Match Just For A Bite.]

☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝☝

I find the above line very sexist and chauvinistic,you mean men are allowed to while away time watching football instead of cooking or helping around the house on a Saturday while women who while away time making hair or gossiping at the salon as you put it should be castigated for it?
Oh I forgot men are not supposed to work,they are kings by privilege of sexπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

Its a good thing for a woman to cook and cook well but she shouldn't be castigated if she can't.

Hilarious writeup, clap for yourself,you just spilled bullocks😝

Super Model said...

Wife not cook to me is figurative, it means that all her education does not end in the kitchen. She can cook but not turning herself to kitchen monitoring spirit or belonging only to the kitchen. Noble igwe needs to get a copyright over that word #wifenotcook#

Alabi Ganiyat said...

True talk... Imagine i went to a friend's place and she was like " Let me buy bread and mineral for u, i prepared stew last night, but its too salty, i had to throw it away'... SMH

Anonymous said...

Still on this matter? Women if you don't know how to cook, YouTube is ya fwend. Funny enough those women that don't know/ like to cook are lazy even in doing house chores. Lazy lots.

That girl.

miss Jay said...

Nice write up.

Anonymous said...

MSCHEWWWWW!
I didn't bother rather further after the first paragraph! RUBBISH!

Eka Joy said...

They will probably come for u but I do agree with u. As a woman, you should be able to cook.

Anonymous said...

True talk.com.....not funny at all...imagine my cousin working all day and providing for his family...he hardly eats at home..always going to his mum's place to eat...wife cant cook...

Anonymous said...

I concur 100%. And yes, I'm a woman.

danny fisiye said...

smellos would come and say shit





#GODWIN™

Jagaban said...

πŸ’―πŸ’― chop this knuckle πŸ‘ŠπŸΎ

Anonymous said...

nice post.

Anonymous said...

Stella I agree with every other point you made but one. I was born in 88 and I can cook for Africa ehn,lee boo finds it difficult to eat out because to him food outside can't be compared to mine, so I always put in my best when cooking. I believe you now know that not all women born after 1980 can't cook.I also belief that if one loves her family she'll always strive to give them healthy home made food.

Flux said...

It's a long read abeg. But I still stand firm and support the idea of this write up. Any woman who doesn't know how to cook still has a long way to go. As much as I cannot be a kitchen slave however I wouldn't want to joke with what goes into my future hubs belly.

There are soo many reasons marriages are hitting the rocks these days.... #humility is key

DoppelgΓ€nger said...

Thank you Frank for your thought.
It's funny how you focused only on women who spend time gossiping and going to the salon rather than stay home to cook delicious meals but ignored the fact that most women or more women are earning more than their men and because they spend all week hustling, they use the weekend to unwind and do something for themselves.
I wonder how many women you've met in your lifetime who don't know how to cook that has made you come to these conclusion.
You even had to bring in my pastor to buttress your point.
Let men who marry women who can't cook worry about this, while you stop writing articles telling women what to do or how to live.
You didn't even use statistics but concluded that "The bigger scandal is that women born after 1980 cannot prepare proper meals to sustain a marriage". You didn't even say most or some, but said every woman born after 1980, I would like to believe you're referring to every woman in your family, and hometown born in that period because the wonderful women I know can do every and even more than what men can do or dream of doing.
You couldn't even set aside your thoughts to celebrate women but food is the reason men were created and women were made to cater to this need reason you decided to show your lack of home training in this write up.
Women are worth more than just cooking delicious meals.
Let a woman do what she wants and if her man can't handle it then he should walk.
Go back to the drawing board and write something inspiring. Stop using hour stomach to think for once it hasn't helped you in anyway seeing from your level of understanding of what life is.
Anyway, I think something is smelling, please go and wash your bumbum.

BLUNT CHIC said...

OK. I typed a whole lot of things. I dunno if it would make sense, lemme just paste.

Quiksilver said...

Too Long! I only read the heading.
As for me, I'm so gonna cook for my husband, spoil him with mouth-watering meals, cater to him, take care of him. If I don't cook for my husband, who Will?

Suwa Nen said...

Plenty hugs and kisses to you Frank

Murna said...

Rubbish!!! I cant imagine having to pay the bills and even send money to his family and then i'm expected to cook, clean and keep the house and children tidy. Tufiakwa!!!

BLUNT CHIC said...

Dear Frank susu okafor...

I Dont want to rant.. I swear I am trying not to scream. You know what, keep your dickened opinion to yourself.

I stopped reading when you typed this..."The bigger scandal is that women born after 1980 cannot prepare proper meals to sustain a marriage. Now we have a generation of men who will never know the healthy and spiritual benefits of a proper homemade meal"...

Please, please and please! Spirituality does not encourage stupidity!.. Good food does not sustain marriage. If it does, my uncle wouldn't still be crazy about his wife of 10 years who only knows how to cook indomie.

You comfortably listed 8 traits of a Godly wife, ignoring the fact that a happy or bitter wife is the product of her man's actions and behaviour.

Godly women cook,
Godly women serve,
Godly women cower and lower there eyes to avoid sinful stare.
Of course they have to cover from head to toe.

What do Godly men do? I am not satisfied with you rendering only two paragraphs to this cause.... I have seen Godly men (pastors) disrespect by wives by sleeping with choristers.

I ain't no authority here, but from my little experience, Love is the key to a blissful marriage... Even the bible commands husbands to love their wives. Love here is not the butterflies romeo and Juliet thing. It goes beyond that. It entails mutual 'respect' and understanding.

Knowing how to cook or not should not deter two people from loving each other... When there is deep understanding, I see no reason why one wouldn't learn the skill if it is just to please his/her partner. (An Edo woman marrying a Chinese man would have to learn how to prepare Chinese delicacies and this is only possible, if she has a reason to)..

What may taste like "Good food" to you might be shit to me. I honestly at this point would beg everyone to stop using a woman's culinary skills to measure her 'wife materialism'.. Tho I understand that it is one of the traditional prerequisite, but it does not in anyway undermine her womanhood. Learn to embrace everyone and their uniqueness.

Damn! I Dont know how to iron clothes neither have I fetched water since I was born. DOES THAT MAKE ME LESS FEMININE THAN THIS? (*coughs.. I know how to cook sha. #sideeyes)

Rocky said...

See Ehn, I didnt even read till the end all I know is I'll cook for my family. There's this joy you get cooking for your family and they relish in it (my mum feels this joy) and that joy is almost incomparable. I don't care how digital the world wants to go, I'll cook for my husband and children not because it's my responsibility, but because it'll make me happy knowing that I make food for my family.

...will be back to troll this particular post

Anonymous said...

I envy you sha, seeing that you have plenty time to sit down and think of all the things women are doing wrong, as men are Saints without sin. Mtcheew

DON™ said...

Nice one Frank. Im know some girls will go heywire because of this article.
Waiting to read.

DON™ said...

Who send you to pay bills ?

DON™ said...

God bless you.

BLUNT CHIC said...

Stop going to her house to eat free food. Better still buy all the ingredients and teach her how to cook the stew... What are friends for?

BLUNT CHIC said...

I concurπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ.

Reminds me of that annnoymous story of how she stays 24/7 cooking for guy because she wants to be wifed. #dumbitch

Anonymous said...

Leave this big grammar..you sabi cook or not?

Anonymous said...

God bless you...

ola wealth said...

The way i have been brought up ehnn... No woman can make yanga for me with food. ow will i marry a lady who can't cook my favorite delicacies sef.. Me that like food lk kilode.. Everything s in God's hands.. If she wills I teach her, no problem. There's no Yoruba soup I cannot cook..

Anonymous said...

God bless you...

Mawi said...

"...women born after 1980 cannot prepare proper meals to sustain a marriage."
So, food is now the sustainer of marriage? Really? Food? And how dare u make such bold assumptions of women born after 1980? Do u know them all? What research did u carry out to arrive to this retarded conclusion?

"...some of them take pride in being modern women who went on to obtain “DEGREES” instead of learning to bake"
Oga, when u have a daughter ehn, teach her to bake rather than send her to school. If u can't do that, then you are a hypocrite! So u are basically, stylishly saying that for a woman, cooking skills are more important than a proper education? Wow! Again, do same for ur daughter and make sure u are married to an illiterate cook. Then, we'll take u serious.

"Anyone who eats should be able and willing to cook. It’s only fair that way."
This is simple logic. So If u truly believe this, then why this article to women? Doesnt this statement mean that men should also cook? Abi men don't eat? Why then should it be the woman's sole responsibility to cook? Can u see how u contradict yourself?

Whoever you are, you are clearly a misogynist who believes women belong to the kitchen and nowhere else. So tey the thing disturb u to write long article. Do u actually have a job? What are u doing with ur life? You have to be a purposeless person to sit & write about an issue long after it has ended. An issue as stupid as #wifenotcook.

The average Nigerian woman cooks for her man! And let me tell u, REAL MEN COMMAND THE RESPECT OF THEIR WOMEN. A man who is respectable will have women bending their backs to cater to him! If that woman never cooked a day in her life, she will learn to become a chef to please a REAL man. All these nonsense u BOYS write are a result of ur inferiority complex. Real men don't ask or demand, they get! Abi how many successful men do u see begging women to cook for them?
Oga go and do something with ur life. Make an impact. Be successful. Be responsible and respectable. Then see what woman will tell u she can't cook for you.
#menNotBoys

ola wealth said...

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

ola wealth said...

Don't goan learn how to Cook... Joko sibe

Anonymous said...

Funny! So it's food that sustains a marriage?? Y'all won't kill me, I swear.

That being said, EVERYBODY should know how to cook, man or woman. In this day & age where there are so many food blogs and YouTube channels dedicated to cooking, nobody has any excuse not to know how to make a decent meal. Granted not everybody can do all the fancy plate setting and arranging of Garri ontop Egusi but the knowledge of the basic meals should be there. Una no dey tire? Only one person- COOK WELL, FUCK WELL, RESPECT ME, LAUGH AT MY JOKES, RESPECT MY FAMILY even when they don't deserve it, WORK because I don't want a liability. HAVE 8 CHILDREN, don't have male friends, etc. Cut the woman in your life some slack. Eating out sometimes never killed anyone.

ola wealth said...

Having a wife who knows how to cook is one of the essential ingredient needed for a fulfilling marriage.. Take it or leave it.

Rocky said...

This one is another thing entirely... Sometimes, it happens that the food just gets salty, don't judge her because of that

Anonymous said...

Exactly. If you truly love a man, if he works hard and provides financially and emotionally, cooking and keeping house for him is not a big deal, you'll do it without being asked. Even if you were raised in comfort and you can't cook, there are cooking schools everywhere, YouTube, blogs etc. FoodAce, Dooney, Donny etc. LEARN WOMEN!

Anonymous said...

I personally can't be with a man who doesn't handle the bills. Most men these days have no sense of responsibility, it's disgusting. Men expect women to handle both domestic and financial aspects of a marriage and I ask HOW? Your work is to fuck her after a long day of her hustling, cooking, caring for your children etc. A man who isn't bringing in money doesn't deserve anything.

Lady j said...

Beautiful writeup BT I take exception to d part u said women born from 1980 upward don't Know how to Cook ..Naaah. .dats a big fat lie. Cos I was born in d 80's and I know how to cook .

Raphael FILM Nigeria said...

If you are a full time house wife and I go out to work then its your duty to cook and keep the house in order. If we are both career persons and we both work and make hectic journeys then its logical we share the duty. Its not reasonable that we both came back from a hectic work day and I go sit and watch TV while you go through the cooking process alone. Its imperative for couples to be understanding without boundaries. If you do things as friends and lovers, the argument of who should do which duty will come naturally. Bottom line if am to cook too then you must work and contribute too.

Anonymous said...

I still do not understand why men keep wasting their time putting up write ups about women and cooking. This life is very simple. If you love food, search for and marry a woman who cooks well. Not all men are crazy about food. If you are a glutton, your type of woman must dey, search for her. Stop disturbing our lives, please.

Eka Joy said...

Speak for the ones u know. I was born in 1980 and I can cook a number of dishes very well

Pure Nigerian said...

The truth is, there will be always be exceptions to the rule. Not every woman will be submissive, be a cook or even know how to cook good meals, care for their man, be hardworking, neat, be sexually available etc. The earlier most people understand this, the better for everyone. It's like how everyone thinks every woman who has just birthed will develop a rush of maternal feelings for the new born child but it is not so.
Now, why are we different? Backgrounds, experiences, lifestyles and so many other factors like that. The times of our mothers were different and our children's time will be different from ours.
What will she feed her kids you might ask, however, there were women from the times of our mothers who didn't know how to cook as well and had maids, these women then bore more children that didn't need to know what the kitchen looked like.
Please, I am not giving excuses for any sex oh. I am a single lady that knows how to cook not just meals peculiar to my state but to other states as well. I love trying out new dishes, because I really am tired of food as a whole, and also because I see cooking as science and as art. I will not however condemn women that cannot cook like me because there will be things that I cannot do that other women can. Remember, while some will be superwomen, others won't.
In the end, a man must know what he wants and go for that. If you love a woman that can cook, then woo women that love cooking. If however you have gotten a woman that can cook and your friend or brother didn't get one, ol'boy, mind ya business oh.
Nothing is ever in a wholesome shade, there are always splatters of other colours

Anonymous said...

Million likes. The writer is just an attention seeking neanderthal.

Eka Joy said...

Yea, it makes u less feminine, in fact less human, why won't u know how to iron??? And shame no catch u, u come here dey talk am. Smh

Eka Joy said...

Thank u

my opinion said...

LOL...

There is a serious underground movement going on to ABOLISH feminism*! Unfortunately, women are the ones in the fore front speaking against feminism because they are trying to please their husband's and boyfriend's! This underground movement is solely championed by men who are scared and threatened that they may become less of a man if women starts getting better/equal treatments like them!

That being said; the write up ain't totally bad. But I just see a man who is deeply hurt by the feminist movement and has been seeking a Lil avenue to let his steam off and make women feel guilty like they ain't doing enough!

The bible in Prov 31 already stated the duties of a virteous woman! I see no reasonable woman who wants a home that doesn't know her role! So what are we on and about?

Women are simply tired of being cornered to some certain kind of life! The wifenotcook# is just a figurative way of saying; I don't belong to the kitchen only!!!

Stop trying to make women feel guilty for seeking to be treated as humans! Some of you anti feminists are the wicked ones! Live and let live! The sky is big enough for everyone!

Women are not your slaves! Let them breathe! What is wrong in going to salon or doing a Lil gossip? Don't you spend the nite with the boys almost everyday? So long as she didn't abandon her duties, allow her to breathe nah! You lot should quit this silly maltreatment n choking of women, they ain't objects!

You cry you are not ATM machine! Are they going on and about forcing you to be? Many of you have abandoned your own roles! Yet they stick with you! What's so hard in you'all calming your nerves and building a home as a team? Nawa o!

May God help women honestly! But I feel no pity for them because they are the ones kicking against feminism recently! Hypochrites# una go still hear am! Na until them seize una phones (no more sdk) and ask you to be cleaning and cooking morning till night you will appreciate feminism by force!

Hiss*

jelly said...

God bless you mr frank, how can a lady not know how to cook, i still put food in the flask for my husband because he can't eat outside

That Uptown Girl said...

All I know is that nothing beats the joy and happiness in my husband when I cook him something special. He becomes such a baby and starts dancing and following me around the house. To each his own abeg. I cook for my family, that doesn't make me a cook. My number does our laundry, that doesn't make him a laundry man.

Anonymous said...

My opinion. I concur jare

Daenerys_targaryen said...

Don't go and learn how to cook and stop disturbing us with your problem!

Anonymous said...

Alabi. Is it your salt? You rather have her serve you the food. She is even kind offering you anything at all. Swerve.

Anonymous said...

Good one Doppelganger

That Uptown Girl said...

All I know is that nothing beats the joy and happiness in my husband when I cook him something special. He becomes such a baby and starts dancing and following me around the house. To each his own abeg. I cook for my family, that doesn't make me a cook. My husband does our laundry, that doesn't make him a laundry man.

Christiana Tee said...

πŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠπŸ‘ŠOn point

Jay Udoo said...

God bless you jare,everyday they will wake up with a million things women must know how to do,i no even get una power sef.

Jay Udoo said...

Hehehehehehehe. You don talk am finish.

African Barbie said...

Exactly doppel! You just said my mind. Worry about your life, leave other lives alone... Ozwor, and, yes I cook. don't come here to preach like you are better than anyone because you can cook. My boyfriend cooks most of the time, its his hubby. While he cooks, I help out in the kitchen sometimes, other times he asks me to rest and he'll serve me in bed. Our wedding is in two months, im at home, come and beat me!

Jay Udoo said...

Hehehehehehehe. You don talk am finish.

Ambience said...

Uncle Rueben Abati obviously has a lot of disciples on this blog. See long speech on top food. SMH

African Barbie said...

Eka keep quiet. Are you more of a human than her? Yes! I dont know how to iron, my father irons everybody's clothes on Sundays, he does it because he wants to help, now does it make my mum or myself less of a human? Stop reasoning through your anus

Rhoda Rex said...

BuhahahahahahahahahHahahah.

Cici said...

It's always an Ibo man worried about his stomach. Women who can cook hasn't stopped their husbands from chasing after young girls whose favorite meals are sharwama and pizza. Mr Okafor keep ur chauvinistic opinion to yourself ....

Laeffizy said...

EkaJoy, 80s or 90s?
She was referring to the jet age generation.

Chysugar said...

What is good for the goose is also good for the gander..I am not an advocate of the #wifenotcook movement.
But biko,everyone should know how to cook,its not the job of the woman or a stamp... If a woman is tired,a man should cook....
Its marriage not slavery.

Anonymous said...

You just won me over with this comment. Nice one

Monkeynofine said...

Sidechics πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

AbaMade said...

True, besides the ability to cook does not come pre-installed in a vagina.its okay for girl not to know how to cook, the same way its okay for some guys to cook better than their female counterpart. Can we move on to something else please

reemah said...

Dear Mr Frank,
Thanks for joining the ones who tell the femalefolk how to live their lives. We've heard this same litany of how things should be since we were in our mothers' wombs. Pls be reminded that we need no further reminder that we should be able to cook for our families. We know it is the responsible thing to do. Yes, we do.

Based on your generalistion of how women born after the eighties can't whip up good meals, it is apparent that you have been moving in the wrong circles. And eating in the wrong ones too. Quite unfortunate, I must say. Bear in mind that your conception of these women is pure fallacy. Perhaps, you've only been rolling with the bad and bougee gang? So what were your expectations? To delicious pounded yam and mouthwatering vegetable soup as opposed to fruit salad? Your loss.

My point is this: we've known all that you've said long before now. We know you mean no harm. But first, you must put yourselves as boys in order before asking the girls to "clean up after" you boys. Try to divert your attention towards the people of your gender, then the world would be a better place to live in, not a scale tipped in favour of boys who get to play longer than hardworking girls.

You write very well, I must say. So it is disappointing that you don't know #WifeNotCook is a figurative term to express that a wife is much more than a cook.To think that you wrote this article which has its focus on a woman's cooking skills to commemorate the International Women's Day is a testament to the fact that the movement still has a long way to go. The day was meant as a celebration of women who are not only cooks but much more. If you put as much of your literary energy into educating men on how to treat women, you'd all get yourselves women who'd wake up at 3am to make you amala and ewedu soup with Have a nice day, mister!
A woman must know how to cook but she is much more than a cook!

Super Model said...

Restuarant will do if you don't.

Beloved said...

Ambience !!!!!

Beloved said...

Lmao@turn to kitchen monitoring spirit

Beloved said...

Hahaha because you don't know how to cook abi

Lmao

Beloved said...

Thank you babe. Cooking gives me joy o...especially when my family is giving me that 100% score

Anonymous said...

Kisses darling. Best comment. Women this women that. Una go die on top their matter.

Anonymous said...

First of all, if you're going to put out idiotic chauvinistic articles, at least have the brain to write them yourself. This article is from a site called Biblical Gender Roles, where the guy is known for promoting disgusting, misogynistic ideas such as "women shouldn't work", "women can't take public office" and a man should "discipline his wife" all in the name of Christian counselling. This fool just copied straight from the guy's site and won't even have the decency to acknowledge that he didn't write it himself. What a lazy, dim witted, moronic bastard! Why we are even taking a plagiarist like this seriously is beyond me.
That said, Mr. Frank, we know your type. You want an independent, intelligent wife and yet you want her to do all these things. Is she God? You do know that the Bible was written in times where women's work was less difficult than men, right? Then, women had vocations and men had careers so it was easy for a woman to work in the home. Now, in most homes, men and women both have careers. If the man is a lawyer, the woman is a banker. If the man is a dentist, the woman is an engineer. Imagine if both of them are surgeons. Why should we both go out and work so hard, then we come back home and I have to do all the cooking and cleaning whiles we're both tired and stressed? What's wrong with your hands? Are you a leper? Is this also to suggest that even if the man and the woman both work, the man should pay all the bills? Because you would be a bloody hypocrite to assign a role to one gender and not do the same to the other.
Unless you are suggesting that all women become housewives (which is another piece of bullshit on its own), then what you've written is not just impractical, but inept, clumsy and downright stupid!
Receive sense in Jesus' name!

Anonymous said...

Alabi is synonymous with longathroat.. Lol

Anonymous said...

Kai.......Mawiiiii.........u have said it all!!!!thumps up!

Anonymous said...

First of all, if you're going to put out idiotic chauvinistic articles, at least have the brain to write them yourself. This article is from a site called Biblical Gender Roles, where the guy is known for promoting disgusting, misogynistic ideas such as "women shouldn't work", "women can't take public office" and a man should "discipline his wife" all in the name of Christian counselling. This fool just copied straight from the guy's site and won't even have the decency to acknowledge that he didn't write it himself. What a lazy, dim witted, moronic bastard! Why we are even taking a plagiarist like this seriously is beyond me.
That said, Mr. Frank, we know your type. You want an independent, intelligent wife and yet you want her to do all these things. Is she God? You do know that the Bible was written in times where women's work was less difficult than men, right? Then, women had vocations and men had careers so it was easy for a woman to work in the home. Now, in most homes, men and women both have careers. If the man is a lawyer, the woman is a banker. If the man is a dentist, the woman is an engineer. Imagine if both of them are surgeons. Why should we both go out and work so hard, then we come back home and I have to do all the cooking and cleaning whiles we're both tired and stressed? What's wrong with your hands? Are you a leper? Is this also to suggest that even if the man and the woman both work, the man should pay all the bills? Because you would be a bloody hypocrite to assign a role to one gender and not do the same to the other.
Unless you are suggesting that all women become housewives (which is another piece of bullshit on its own), then what you've written is not just impractical, but inept, clumsy and downright stupid!
Receive sense in Jesus' name!

ThatYorubaChic#wifenotcook said...

I am a wife not a cook

Anonymous said...

How can every woman be a good cook, is every woman a good singer or a good dancer? Like everything else in life there are those who excel at it and those who don't. Not every woman will be a good cook, that is just a fact of life. We need to start thinking with sense and intelligence. It is no crime to not be good at a task, I am sure the woman who can't cook may be a better Baker or clothes maker. Let's allow ppl to flourish in the areas they​ excel in and stop castigating them for failing at others.

Yes, I am an excellent cook, but it has not added anything to my life, it's just a task I am good at, there is nothing special about me more than the woman who can't. I haven't won any prize or gotten an Express pass to heaven for knowing how to cook..Lol. Some of you treat this cooking thing like it will stop your man from cheating on you, or ensure long life, it really is neither here nor there.

reemah said...

*with joy.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them*

xhlrted p said...

Wonder what they're on about again on this WifenotCook harsh tag.

The best time of the week in my home is the hours after the Sunday service. DH whistles his way to the dining table once he changes garb.
It's the relish moment because everyone looks forward to it. I serve all sorts. Munching over and we binge on some colored liquids and scoops. Talk some things over and head to siesta except we are watching films.

Your food is a measure of your female prowess. You can't cook? Go learn!
The only 2 things on the mind of a man when he's coming home at the end of the day is GOOD FOOD and GOOD SEX.
Woman, go work it!

brown suga said...

This matter shouldn't even be a debate
Why would a woman not know how to Cook? Its got nothing to do with slavery, its your duty as a wife, and every woman should take pride in cooking.
Which day this kind thing start sef.
Women seem to be taking this feminism thing too far if you ask me.

my opinion said...

Eka Joy, once it gets to man and woman matter, I hardly agree with your points of view!

Like seriously?

Not knowing how to iron makes you less feminine??? WowwWwwww

I thank God for the kinda people I mix with in real life o! If not wahala for dey!

Do you know I hate washing clothes with a passion? I bought a washing machine for myself in uni with the money I was given to buy an expensive phone to show you how bad it is. Does this one also make me less a woman?

Una dey try sha!

Pls stop dating men that limit your thoughts on what a woman should be and shouldn't be! Such men are killers aswear

See Don Mayor the cheat up there nodding too! Wehdone sir! Na dat ur big ego go still destroy you last last!

Men who don't put too much emphasis on these rules even end up having the best wives because the key to getting a completely loving and amazing wife is LOVE! Love her as God loves the church! She will even wipe ur ass after using restroom with soo much joy...

Chidinma Gift said...

Osho free long throat

Chidinma Gift said...

Me too 100%

Mawi said...

So he stole the rubbish up there? And I wasted my time to construct a comment? God forbid! What a loser

Eloho said...

Y compare ourselves to men? Or anyone else for that matter. Their race is different. From the onset, it has beeen our job to KEEP the home and that is that. He is talking about a godly woman and some pipz are shouting "what does a godly man do" is that ur concern? Are u a man? Leave them! The fact that they have decided to be stupid does that mean I shld follow suit? Forget the messenger and take the message. If u are a woman, and u dont know how to cook, it's a pity. Daddy G.O has said it all. Don't let feminism and 21st century developments corrupt u. The skill is for u not for anyone else. I see the joy on my uncle's face when his wife cooks and I want that. For me, all these small small things come together to drive a wedge in the marriage esp. If u marry some kind of men. Some may not fancy it, some may. I rest my case

wushu said...

Ok oh,we don hear,by the way when will there be a list like that for men?(just asking....)

Anonymous said...

Dear women and sisters, this is a good acticle, thanks to the author and stella for posting. We must not be carried away by western world culture it will not and does not work for nigeria men NEVER, otherwise your home will fall like a pack of cards. The western world and feminist we try to imitate is their marriages anything to write home about? 90 perc of them end up with divorce unlike africa where you have about 2 percent divorce rate or recently a bit more.

That is why you see them western world people do not bother to marry, they prefer baby mamas things, beside they even get enriched when divorced because their (immoral) society kindoff encourage it. you divorce and get more money from the government, split your husband wealth and so on. as a single mother you get more money, free house from the government but later her kids end up wayward because no fatherly role in their life. Their kids end up being divorcee too, drug addicts etc.

If you are divorce in nigeria society your respect is limited be it woman or man, you can even hardly be considered for a good political position.

In any case, lets be submissive to our husband, wife should take charge of cooking, alternatively the husband can assist or cook sometimes i am not saying that is wrong.

if there is need to do a heavy lifting i don't think any man will say 'husband not jackie' and expect his wife to do that lifting.

even the western feminist most of you try to copy, go their work place, you see women taken the easy jobs while men doing the lifting job. They don't talk about equality or husband not weight lifter in such scenario.

Lets be wise, be a good mother and a good home keeper. like it or not you have roles that you are naturally blessed to do better as a woman than your male counterpart. part of the western world are trying to change everything and create confusion all over the world, they like to experiment, they are now promoting gender-less, transgender, homo, etc. They are already developed they can be misbehaving, we are still developing. why didn't they do all these stuffs 100yrs back? what works for them now might not work for us, maybe until we get to that stage.

so ladies, pls take it easy and don't allow social media take the better part of you. don't be surprise that same people that brags about 'wife is not cook, goes home and cook for their husband every time, thereby misleading people. when a woman start acting like a warrior before her hubby, she looses her beauty, love and respect before the eyes of her man, ask any man. every man love respectful and submissive woman NOT some rebel. submissive doesn't mean being foolish, there is difference.

one day they will say is nobody's role to bath their new born kids or breast feed them. 'wife not milk supplier' ? Pls play your role as a wife in the house, same with husband. Treat your husband well he will treat you double, and special like his queen and God will bless your home. If my wife tells me 'wife not cook' if we get new house hold items or decide to relocate to new house, if i lift 50kg she will lift 50kg, that is the logic. happy sunday peeps.

Anonymous said...

Frank Susu Okafor so na food be your problem? Mtcheew. I don't blame you. Make sure you marry a cook, not someone who is not so inclined or you will make the life of the poor woman a living hell. My opinion is that you wrote junk, cos you are obviously not objective and you are obviously a sexist chauvinist. I just hope you are not a misanthrope because I am seeing some signs. I won't bother explaining myself further. Kwantinu you hear? πŸ‘Ž

Lady T/ am worth more than a thousand dollars said...

@ My opinion, I thoroughly enjoyed your submission.
However, when we quote Prov 31: let's not forget that women in those days married and were given servants. So it was not just the wife who did all and everything. She had help that enabled her to be the virtuous woman.

Anonymous said...

Your food is a measure of your female prowess. Hmmm. I can't laugh. I have a dream that one day we will be able to accept our differences within and across gender.

Anonymous said...

Yet he married her. Ask yourself or better still go ask him why.

Anonymous said...

You still haven't grown up. Your type cannot hold it down with an intelligent girl.

Anonymous said...

Finally, someone who can think.

Anonymous said...

MyOpinion, BluntChick and Doppelganger, thank you. I luv people who think out of the box. With the way some Nigerian women cook and slave away, their homes still break down and they with them.

Anonymous said...

Hai! Thanks Mawi.

Anonymous said...

You are wise, simple.

Kediano said...

Anon 11:11,u are just giving excuses. Marriage cones with responsibilities, both for the man and the woman. Face it!

Kediano said...

Chai! The present day woman has a lot to learn!

Kediano said...

Chai! The present day woman has a lot to learn! You can go ahead and deceive ursef about good food not being so important. I am man and I can tell u, that it is very important in the home, not just go your husband but more importantly for ur children. Every man wants to see his children well nourished at home.

Kediano said...

Dont mind her.because I know it's a she

Kediano said...

I believe nobody forced him to marry her and that he knew quite well she can't cook. So let it be between them. Leave them alone

Kediano said...

Point of correction;it wasn't Stella's write up

Anonymous said...

She offered you something, you are here complaining. I hope she knows you are an FFF. Friend for food.

Anonymous said...

If your food is a measure of your prowess, half these men will not be following these girls that make them take them to expensive restaurants. Let us stop deceiving ourselves. I cook, I love it but a woman who doesn't is not any worse than me. Women and silly mantra.

Anonymous said...

Your cousin married her so stop judging. If he will not get her to cook then he likes it that way. Biki face your own home.

Anonymous said...

Any guy who says smello is still eating from mummys pot. No sensible man will even use that word comfortably.

Anonymous said...

Some will not understand these things you have said. You will be attacked but it is alright. There are men out there who see these points and agree.
All these women who take their homemaker ways as a badge of womanliness, I wish their husbands also saw it that way. The number of men cheating and disrespecting these women with "feminine prowess" you would think the women were not doing their wifely duties.

Ladies, from one very experienced man...PLEASE STOP THINKING ITS BY ANY OF THESE THINGS THAT YOUR MARRIAGE IS SUSTAINED. Your men are to provide but a lot dont and you stay right, some of you are the bread winners. Your man has been cheating since he took you home, yet you stay and tie two wrappers at women's meeting forming married woman right? Learn what the real recipe for marriage is and know that it takes two. Any man who has conned you into thinking all the above has used your senses.
God help you all. Your fathers dropped the ball.

Anonymous said...

Fathers missed the mark. They raised boys to think its always the woman. I just hope all these men are stellar providers. Taking care of every need and whim these women have. You can't allow your wife a day to go and hang with friends and see it as irresponsible. Thats why our married women look 20 years older than their husbands.

Anonymous said...

Too many boys floating around. The typical Nigerian woman was trained to cater to a man all her life but men were only trained to receive. Nowadays they dont even provide. All they do is dictate what women should do. When it is clear that the boys need help today more than ever.

Anonymous said...

My brother. You are a wise man whose Father or male figures showed the right way.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha. And na my brothers sabi chase these small chin chin girls pass. "Nne, let me buy you sharwama" but he will be shouting for his wife to cook ofe onugbo na garri. If I hear!

Anonymous said...

Do you see the joy when your uncle buys meatpie for the non cooking girls. If feminism has corrupted you please go back to the village and send a sensible woman from there to benefit from feminism and stop talking something you don't and can't understand.

Anonymous said...

LADIES...DO NOT LET CLOSED MINDED PEOPLE LIKE THIS POISON YOUR MIND. SISTER HOW MANY DIVORCED PEOPLE ARE IN OFFICE TODAY. Your president was a divorcee. Stella the senator and one time minister is what? A monk? Please go back to your village and plllllease do not raise any daughters with this mentality or else they will not go far. Things have changed for the better. You better know now.

Anonymous said...

Mr Frank, did nobody tell you plagiarism is bad?

Mr Frank, our men need these sermons more than these women. Who has HIV/AIDs in the highest numbers in Nigeria...married women. They are contracting it from the men they are slaving for and DYING.

You see domestic violence cases? Are those women not cooking for their husbands?

Are you a man who has been faithful, an ABSOLUTE provider and engaged Father (or to you, you just deposit akamu and leave raising children to the mother and then open your pipe to say they belong to you)

Wifenotcook is not a hashtag asking women not to cook. It is telling men like you that a woman is more.

If you leave earth before your wife and she has no skills but serving you, will she be able to train those kids? Or every widow will become a caterer? In this society were widows are treated like lepers? Especially widows with no work. We know you will not leave her anything because your brother is probably your next of kin since women cant inherit anything.

Brother, face us. Leave these women. Bring your counsel to men. WE ARE FAILING THESE DAYS. We have lost our place as heads because our fathers did not show us anything other than lording ourselves over these women. Our fathers however empowered their daughters to be leaders and now you want to treat a woman who has been empowered like some of our mothers who were subjected to life as a doormat, cook, washwoman and child bearing factory?

Wake up brother. Next time credit the article to the right source. The sourc3 sef is this man who belongs in a village far away from civilization.

Signed,
Marriedman who believes #wifenotcook

my opinion said...

Anon 12:21

Better pikin

Anon 20:32

Are you bipolar or something? What's with the meaningless and contradicting comment? Where did you dump your moniker? Don't let me start with you Uche onise! Face your work and take my moniker off your dirty brains! Tankiu

@Lady T

Tnks for loving my submission

My dear saying proverb 31 doesn't mean a woman must finish all the duties there! U want them to die? It's just a guide on the role of a woman in a home!

Anonymous said...

Gbam at anon 01:29. You are the real deal

CHIBOK GIRL said...

Being able to cook and knowing how to cook is two different thing

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