Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: My UBER Chronicles -2

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Sunday, 12 March 2017

My UBER Chronicles -2

 Last week we started the UBER Chronicles to thrill you...








The Catwalking Potatoes: I get a request at Rumours Night Club, I see a name Angel, I call and hear a female voice (So I thought) next thing a guy hops in! Am like errrm sorry, I have been speaking to a lady.... Then the shocker!..he starts to sound all girly and talks to his partner and he asks 'do I sound girly'? And he replies in a feminine voice, 'oh yes you do' and he batts his eyelids! Jesus! 😳 I picked 'Flaming Homos'!!! 😰...



 The ride starts and all I keep hearing is one very fake phoney from the Angel guy to his partner and that one keeps saying 'darling, darling' ...God please let this ride just end!..

Anyways I took them to Ikeja area and I brought them back! 

Okay, time to pay up, he was saying network is bad, while doing this, I noticed he was getting closer and licking his lips! (Dear God, please don't let me kill somebody!) I give him side eyes, next thing he says please let me snapshat (πŸ˜†) I will miss Nigeria and please have my number (not in your life brotha) blah blah!!.. 

When he was done, he said trust me, I will transfer your money, he gets down, and says 'Gracias' πŸ€” and my oh my, I have never seen girls sway better than this two Potatoe...God forbid!... And oh!, till now I haven't still been paid, imagine!? later y'all say we are rude.. Smh!


The Screaming Diva: Pick up location, off Admiralty Way! So I get to the location, and I noticed her workers being frantic and on their toes, even struggling to open the door for this lady! In my mind am like wawu! 

This is strange, I shrugged, she comes in with two of her domestic staff, and the first thing she utters is, lower the volume of the sound system am like ok ma'am! Am trying to also put the car on drive, then she says in another harsh tone, 'did u hear me' am like yes I did, but I have to put the car on drive!

 I start to move, next thing she asks 'is your Ac working? Put it on the highest' Yes ma'am it is, and it's on the highest, next thing she checks and screams it's on three it's supposed to be on four!, as I am trying to explain (that when it's on the highest, it won't get cold, because the weather was hot anyways) next thing she says pull to the side, and starts to rant, that if you are going to take me on this trip we have to set some rules straight! I am a customer and I am always right and you have to tone your attitude down am like ma'am what attitude have I portrayed here? 

She snaps! It's either you take me on this trip or you take me back home! Ok, what would be your choice ma'am, then she screams take me back!, as am turning, she calls the person who ordered for her (imagine, it's not like she's even the original one who requested) and says you have to report this driver! He's rude and blah blah!

 To be honest people, I snapped!! Am like ma'am, you don't know me and I don't know you, and because you have workers who crawl at your feet doesn't make me one of them!, my job is to take you on a ride and drop you off! Nothing more, I am not your slave! 

My people, this woman starts to hit my glass window and the doors shouting, let me out of this car, you fucking driver!

 Am in awe! Who has the attitude now ma'am? Immediately I called the original person who requested and I explained all that happened,... She starts to apologise on her behalf repeatedly... 

I got 5 stars! And the trip was a discounted one, so I didn't have to pay with my money!... Hallelujah!


The Trend?: Okay now ladies, why do y'all have to snapshat (lool) in every single Uber ride you enter? Jeez! Y'all should tone it down, and the annoying thing is you girls increase the volume so high and start making funny faces (filters! Yikes!) to be honest, it's not cute at all! It's somewhat Razz!

PS: Now, the reason why most of us don't use the google maps (although some are illiterates to be honest) is because:

1.   It takes you on a longer route! If we use it now and you see the driver taking a wrong turn, the next thing is to scream and if he tries to defend himself, y'all say he's Rude! Ngwanu clap for yourselves..

2.   Errrrr, this is Lagos, Nigeria! Not everywhere is detailed, you don't want to be caught taking one way do you? I thought so!

Don't have the notion that all Uber drivers are rude, go with a clear mind and trust me all would be well... I for example, if you have issues with me, then am sorry, you are a child of the world πŸ˜€

That's all for now, till next week, so stay glued for more Chronicles....

As a rider or driver, do you have your experiences too? 

*Gosh you are one rude UBER Driver!!!..Must you talk back to your customers?


85 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is there any wayy I can get instagram followers on instagram?

Anonymous said...

Is there any wayy I can get instagram followers on instagram?

radiant D said...

Oga learn to ignore.

Great lady said...

Lol, first one is so funny.

Beloved said...

Lol this uber driver will not kill me. Kikikikiki

SHAKITI BABY said...

Yes,you have attitude problem.
Customers are always right,maybe you think you are too good for the job.
I like your chronicles anyway,interesting and detailed.

Alabi Ganiyat said...

Nice one...

Highness Gwen said...

He ain't rude Stella
Those people ain't customers but demons

ola wealth said...

Funny dude.. I noticed that YOU TALK TOO MUCH..

Cynthia Iyede said...

Hnmmm

BLUNT CHIC said...

Please what is "SNAP 'S'. HAT".

Contrary to popular opinion, #sideeyes. I Dont think you are rude. This life would be a better place if we all try to ignore certain people. Let them ride on their horses. and avoid being unnecessarily bothered about them. (Oh! I guess you will be called a snub)

Just be you jare. I enjoy your story. So, did you collect shaking arse number?πŸ˜πŸ˜’πŸ˜πŸ˜

becky naka said...

This uber driver is dramatic but I like him.......bwahahahahahahaha, u are a funny guy.

Talking bout homos, have one in my former street..... heard some Jist about him that he actually smells, he's too broke to afford pampers, he can't control his poo anymore (eww). I don't feel sorry for him coz he's a paedophile, arrested several times for abusing kids.

Super Model said...

From uber taxi to Range Rover the babe don hammer
My landlord is now my tenant Jehovah aba wo mu ogaranya.

SWAG LAFRESH said...

I'm a die hard uber rider but I don tire for uber drivers. I use to ride with the good ones but I don't understand anymore.

My last uber ride was nothing to write home about. I noticed the ac was not working, I asked the driver. He said I should be patient that it's because we just started moving. Hmmm... We do 1km, I started getting hot, I was not to strong that day so no strength for talk. I just told him to wind the glass down. I got to my house and rated him 1 star. No time for plenty talk.

anonymous gangster said...

Snap"shat"?

Jeni_zee jewellery uk +447459753657.. choker beads!! Pearls !! Coral!! said...

He didn't pay nd u allowed him leave? I don't understand

LUCILE COCONUT OIL ABUJA 07059605320 Pin- 2BC6235E said...

Hahahaha,but some people don't see any body rendering services to them as a fellow human being.

Jeni_zee jewellery uk +447459753657.. choker beads!! Pearls !! Coral!! said...

If you are d same person that wrote the last ΓΌber chronicle, then u need to talk less when You are with a customer, no be everything u must reply

shaybee said...

The driver lacks etiquette










coming....

AbaMade said...

Am still trying to understand this Uber thing, e go dey Aba?
BTW did the homo guys later pay?

marriedchick said...

Stella the customer's action prompted the driver reaction.... people should just learn to be nice, life is not that difficult.

Anonymous said...

Forget that talk Stella. Mehn Nigerians are so rude. An average Nigerian paying you must make you feel worthless before earning that cash. Every body deserves an act of kindness abeg. Whether a customer or the one rendering the service should address each other politely. If we learn that we wouldnt be having issues at our place of work.

Anonymous said...

Abeg what does Uber means as Efe sister wey I be.pls neighbors make Una tell me d meaning

Anonymous said...

Kaii I read this while munching on my Sunday rice.. almost puked.. nothing warned me of the pampers n poo control!!..

Monkeynofine said...

Buy followers naw.... But be ready to post raunchy pics for PLENTY LIKES and to keep them hook otherwise they will unfollow u.....

Anonymous said...

Thank You...You all saying the Uber driver is rude..What about that MADAM..So customers are always right means the customer should be mannerless ABI..My madam can be like that too always shouting...That's how one replied her..I almost gave him a hug..

Jagaban said...

Stella hes not rude...why wont he talk back??? Hes human...

Jagaban said...

Exactly...when u ignore...u are tagged as a snub...when u respond u are rude...so TF y'all want them to do??? Huh..

lastborn said...

The driver tooo get attitude jor,

Blessing Jackson said...

I agree with you, the driver is not rude, all these the customer is always right thing get into people's head and they start misbehaving claiming rights upandan. Life is not that hard na.

nonye okonkwo said...

He is not rude except he did more than he just explained. Some ppl like to throw tantrums over every little thing. That he is an Uber driver doesn't mean he should lick her ass ni... and the annoying thing is that rude ppl are the ones that demand for so much respect. Biko Oga Uber, carry go... ur story is interesting...

Anonymous said...

That's how I carried one lady who offered me a blow job when it was time to pay.She said she didn't have money.I accepted the offer.Half bread is better than none.I no fit shout.

MrsB said...

You have an attitude though. I wouldn't call it rude, but you have this 'don't test me, or else' attitude which you really don't need, at least not in this job. Even when youre spoken to rudely, you don't have to talk back! Just keep it moving, its not like you'd be stuck with the person all day.

Anonymous said...

Please has anyone been paid on income guru and how long did it take to be paid?

Anonymous said...

Stella, you say so because you live in a society where the customer and the service provider have a somewhat mutual respect for each other.

Here, the average Nigerian customer Lords over you or finds an avenue to.

I'm in a business environment, a customer is going berserk over something of low import so I go over to try to pacify him. He turns to me, says some really inflammatory words to me and asked I go get my boss. I walked away, came back after some seconds and said..."the boss is here", he asks "where is HE", I said "right here sir, I am the boss"

No further complaints or anything, he picks up his items, apologised for being rude to me and walks away.

See? That was same dude who was belligerent and raining abuses on me because he thought I was also one of 'the helps'.

The Uber dude isn't rude, there's only so much one can take from a Nigerian customer. He's maybe new at it, eventually he'll start to get comic relief from the mad customers and ignore them. I like his sense of humour though. Lol.

MISS Jacobs.

Anonymous said...

The first story is a lie. No uber driver worth his merit would let a rider out of his sight without payment...and I'm no fan of the gays but your obvious disdain and lack of tolerance is nauseating. You are rendering a service, you obviously demand respect from your customers so reciprocate and refrain from letting the personal trump the professional.

Chikito The Professional Fire for Fire said...

I've never had issues with any uber driver. I think they're all pretty pleasant oh! Maybe I've just been lucky cos I don't use regularly. But all the drivers I've been with are cool.

Secondly, guy if someone isn't being physically or verbally abusive just ignore. If they are then you should be able to report abuse to the office, can't you? Customers we get our own for body. But you don't know what issues someone is coming with. Maybe them don vex for house before entering your car. So just calm them down. She sef why was she hitting window? You can express your displeasure without being violent.

Let me ask, is it wrong to tip the driver apart from the debited funds by uber?

Anonymous said...

Is that your only problem?

nina chocomile said...

Yes there's a way. Just post a nude pix and you'll get 1000 followers instanta.

St.FranKooL.... said...

#Life is so unpredictable. Be grateful for every moment*

brown suga said...

True that

KIDJO said...

Ewwww.😲😲😲😲

KIDJO said...

Oga leave me alone o. Saw your comments the other day where you complained about my making big hair.Is it your hair,am I your girlfriend? My boo isn't complaining and he likes it.so fimile jeje.

anonymous gangster said...

Me too o! Adongerit!

Xoxo NotMystery said...

Hes not rude abeg. When nigerians want your services they officially want u crawling at their feet.

Andromeda O said...

Used Uber a couple of times and can't complain.
The driver and I would even engage in discussions sef- no biggy.
These drivers are human beings too; a little kindness wouldn't hurt, but trust some Nigerians to be rude.

Anonymous said...

Give your lie lie tips as give away here

becky naka said...

I like this

Sassy Meruche said...

Exactly! He thinks he's too good for the job.There's dignity in labour Oga. I once took an Uber ride to GDC here in Abuja,this guy kept talking all the way from Utako to central area,I was so disgusted...Gosh!! Trust me to rate him poorly.

Lilly simple said...

So because Customers are always right, people should take shit?

Adejumo Mojisola said...

Ok

SWAG LAFRESH said...

I gist with some too. One asked me one day why I sat in front, I just smiled.

Some can be annoying sha.

For me, If you do anyhow, I give you back anyhow.

Vivilicious said...

Na cab. Modified, tush taxi. Better yet, visit google.

Vivilicious said...

#dead# πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.
I hope you use condom sha, make you no go carry aids.

Pffft said...

Sister, it's Uberitomipoju.

It is a Yoruba name with deep meaning.

I yam coming, let me eat first, will be back to explain....

Pffft said...

Uber poster, I liiiive for your updates, you're hilarious.

The problem is not so much that some Uber drivers don't use Google Maps... It's that they don't know HOW.

*Uber drivers also rate passengers.

Anonymous said...

He isn't rude. They provoked him, what did u expect? Nigerians don't have manners Befr sef.

Shyla said...

He is not rude. Unless Stella didnt read same uber chronicles we are reading. These people are human brings and our problem lies with us women. There are so many of them in Lagos. Stuck up humans. Already giving you attitude even before they enter. Btw, the driver is well read. Keep up the good work.

Bee10 said...

Not all customers are right some are very rude and they still claim right.

BLOGLORD said...

πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜…
Both of you are cray

Beloved said...

@jagaban he talks too much and when not necessary ...like he is just out to punish them divas

Beloved said...

Lol are you an Uber driver

Beloved said...

The service will not boom in Aba. Aba people will price every distance down

Beloved said...

Lol efe sister indeed
Sdk next week bring a picture of the Uber for her

Beloved said...

Hahaha. See the boss

Dark Horse *** for your 3D wall papers call 09021363953 said...

Uber Driver, learn to always ignore.. Nigerians and their self entitlement mentality makes them behave like animals

Ada Ada said...

My uber driver talked from pick up till drop off on Friday, i nearly fainted!! Sometimes we need serenity, maybe uber can develop the app to state specifics, no talking etc!!! Another one was talking, touching my neighbours' baby while entering the car and all, or is it the one who insisted he will drop me half way if the road is bad!! He said " I don't want to spoil my car tire, uber will not pay', see I'm tired!!!

Anonymous said...

I sit in front, I no dey for kambiakwa.... If he starts carrying me to Ibadan I can threaten to hold his steering wheel or even hit him, so borrofus wee die on the line!!

ukwu dimond said...

Badoo Uber driver

Pretty-mind said...

I love that song

Amunidara said...

God bless u for this... a lot of Nigerians are rude! I've had my own fair share,just because I place adverts on Sdk,NL,IG etc and they have access to my number...they chat with u and ask for prices of everything from A-Z, and they know deep within they ain't ready to buy, some even go as far as calling around 3am just cos they want to compare prices of products and they expect u not to get mad... Stella, I think u should start "Chronicles of an Entrepreneur" I got plenty stories to tell!

Amunidara said...

God bless u for this... a lot of Nigerians are rude! I've had my own fair share,just because I place adverts on Sdk,NL,IG etc and they have access to my number...they chat with u and ask for prices of everything from A-Z, and they know deep within they ain't ready to buy, some even go as far as calling around 3am just cos they want to compare prices of products and they expect u not to get mad... Stella, I think u should start "Chronicles of an Entrepreneur" I got plenty stories to tell!

SANDY NEKY said...

😱😱😱😩

Anonymous said...

I wrote about the music/ radio the last time and how annoying it can be if you want some quite...as if I knew you do this. Oga you are rude! If you want to get good scores, you need an attitude overhaul. She asked you to reduce the music and you decided to start driving first before doing it...please isn't it safer to do that before putting the car in drive? Whether her workers rolled out a red carpet is not your business. May I never meet one as stupid as you are.
Your radio should be off, your ac on before the customer enters, then you ask if they want music or radio or want the ac off. Even if you have a cold and your customers say they need ac, you need to turn it on. You can appeal to them to reduce it once you develop a rapport with them. Uber is not yellow cab, the clients comfort is priority. It's people like you that kill others business by refusing to follow the company policy/vision/mission.
Please paint your cab yellow and send in taxi chronicles. That will make more sense since you have refused to learn basic customer care manners. Later you will start blaming witches when others succeed on uber more than you do.

Anonymous said...

Rude uber driver. How does the AC not get cold when it's on the highest? Go get it fixed and stop suffering your customers.
It seems Uber has dropped the standard of cars they allow register in 9ja cos the cars used to be very clean and comfortable when they first started. In the states, they still don't accept cars older than 10 years but here na wa.

Last time, you said it was the girl from Eko hotel who you had issues with and was probably a witch that made you start getting very poor rating. Read what you just narrated or better still, take it to Uber and see if they will congratulate you. You are a typical example of a sales girl that does not care if the shop owner lose customers due to her attitude/rudeness as long as she gets her salary which is very common in Nigeria. You are spoiling business for uber by not making the customers have an enjoyable experience when they unfortunately pick you for their trip. Continue fighting all your customers because you feel you are not their 'slave'. With the right attitude, others meet people that may help open doors to greener pastures but you feel you are too big to be a cab driver, yet no one forced you to do it. I won't be surprised if that car isn't yours and you are on a monthly salary, driving for the owner, because your attitude bad gan.

For all those claiming the customer's attitude should be matched by the driver, you are the reason customer service in Nigeria is still at an all time low. You have no exposure to good customer service and so cannot comprehend why you shouldn't be treated like shit for a SERVICE you are paying for.

Yes, Stella does not live in Nigeria but she knows how customers are pampered and catered for. Even when the person feels like knocking you out, they smile and act all nice because you are the customer and your money adds to the revenue generated which will affect the profit at the end of the day. Also an angry customer will most likely turn into a loyal customer if his/her issue is well managed and resolved.

Free

sisi eko said...

If this driver is the same as the last posted here, then I agree with you Stella, he's a saucy dude.

OK bye

sisi eko said...

Trying to be witty with a customer is considered rude. Esp when the customer is in a foul mood. He may get away with it with someone else who isn't moody. You need to study ur customer's demeanour before u start to get too familiar with them. Some drivers can be overly courteous to the point of getting u irritated sometimes.

Omolewa said...

He's rude because you gave him the platform. He has to write something to keep us interested. This uber man is feeling all superior, after all said and done you're a taxi driver.

Anonymous said...

The ride was not rude I beg
The attitude of a typical Nigerian buyer is so terrible,they always mis-interpret the 'the customer is always right thing '
You need extra patience in dealing with naija customer

Anonymous said...

Honestly think its the razz people of the world who do not realize that Uber and the driver are actually doing them a favour. People must learn how to treat other people. Uber is a ride sharing app, not necessarily a customer, seller relationship, granting the customer cheap fares, security amongst other incentives. Razzoids who can barely afford a car come in and start to feel all superior to a driver. "Madam, how much are you paying the driver?". Turning the car into a photo booth could also be rude when you don't take permission from the driver. Let me ask you something, if you used your car for the sake of sharing and love for the environment and as some sort of fun or networking platform, how would you feel when some stranger treats you in a crappy way?? Think about it

Anonymous said...

Honestly, I think you have a belittling mentality of people. You need to work on your attitude. You sound like one of the rude kind of customers. Once again, Uber is a ride sharing app. The platform is not necessarily a mega profit kinda thing. If someone does you the favour of finding you within a short period of request (not order), and decides to take you on a trip, you may as well be nice to that person.

As for saying that turning up the fan blast of an AC makes it colder, proves that you do not have a car of your own. Car ACs work better when they start off with a gentle or mid blast, turning it up to full blast may come in later when the compressor gets warmer. Turning down the temperature is quite a different thing. Get your mind right and please, buy your own car, or just stick to your trekking and keke napeps.

Anonymous said...

Some of you who have not being abroad are here saying customers are always ring and that such doesn't happen abroad. Well you are wrong.
Even stella knows that there is a socially acceptable behavior expected of all customers too. This is because you cant look down on anyone be it a driver or cleaner.
I have been to a club in the UK with friend, I walked to the counter to get drinks and the bar attendant told me to add the word 'please" to my statement before he'll sell me a bottle of my chosen beverage. What did i do? of cause I added it.
Not because I couldn't have pleaded my 'customer is always right nonsense', but because I realized even as customers we have to be polite.
So as customers we also need to learn respect.

Anonymous said...

Choke on your bile,'bintch' @16:32

Anonymous said...

Olodo, then don't use your car simple. You can't give your car to kabukabu and complain when it begins to looks like a kabukabu. Mumu.

Beautiful Eagle said...

Stella please o, the Uber driver was not rude at all IMO. Was he supposed to swallow the woman's rudeness and say thank you on top? The silly women was even hitting his windows. I wish she was the one who made the order so that he can rate her poorly. I hate it when people carry the frustration of Buhari's regime and put on innocent people.

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