Last week we started the UBER Chronicles to thrill you...
The Catwalking Potatoes: I get a request at Rumours Night Club, I see a name Angel, I call and hear a female voice (So I thought) next thing a guy hops in! Am like errrm sorry, I have been speaking to a lady.... Then the shocker!..he starts to sound all girly and talks to his partner and he asks 'do I sound girly'? And he replies in a feminine voice, 'oh yes you do' and he batts his eyelids! Jesus! 😳 I picked 'Flaming Homos'!!! 😰...
The ride starts and all I keep hearing is one very fake phoney from the Angel guy to his partner and that one keeps saying 'darling, darling' ...God please let this ride just end!..
Anyways I took them to Ikeja area and I brought them back!
Okay, time to pay up, he was saying network is bad, while doing this, I noticed he was getting closer and licking his lips! (Dear God, please don't let me kill somebody!) I give him side eyes, next thing he says please let me snapshat (😆) I will miss Nigeria and please have my number (not in your life brotha) blah blah!!..
When he was done, he said trust me, I will transfer your money, he gets down, and says 'Gracias' 🤔 and my oh my, I have never seen girls sway better than this two Potatoe...God forbid!... And oh!, till now I haven't still been paid, imagine!? later y'all say we are rude.. Smh!
The Screaming Diva: Pick up location, off Admiralty Way! So I get to the location, and I noticed her workers being frantic and on their toes, even struggling to open the door for this lady! In my mind am like wawu!
This is strange, I shrugged, she comes in with two of her domestic staff, and the first thing she utters is, lower the volume of the sound system am like ok ma'am! Am trying to also put the car on drive, then she says in another harsh tone, 'did u hear me' am like yes I did, but I have to put the car on drive!
I start to move, next thing she asks 'is your Ac working? Put it on the highest' Yes ma'am it is, and it's on the highest, next thing she checks and screams it's on three it's supposed to be on four!, as I am trying to explain (that when it's on the highest, it won't get cold, because the weather was hot anyways) next thing she says pull to the side, and starts to rant, that if you are going to take me on this trip we have to set some rules straight! I am a customer and I am always right and you have to tone your attitude down am like ma'am what attitude have I portrayed here?
She snaps! It's either you take me on this trip or you take me back home! Ok, what would be your choice ma'am, then she screams take me back!, as am turning, she calls the person who ordered for her (imagine, it's not like she's even the original one who requested) and says you have to report this driver! He's rude and blah blah!
To be honest people, I snapped!! Am like ma'am, you don't know me and I don't know you, and because you have workers who crawl at your feet doesn't make me one of them!, my job is to take you on a ride and drop you off! Nothing more, I am not your slave!
My people, this woman starts to hit my glass window and the doors shouting, let me out of this car, you fucking driver!
Am in awe! Who has the attitude now ma'am? Immediately I called the original person who requested and I explained all that happened,... She starts to apologise on her behalf repeatedly...
I got 5 stars! And the trip was a discounted one, so I didn't have to pay with my money!... Hallelujah!
The Trend?: Okay now ladies, why do y'all have to snapshat (lool) in every single Uber ride you enter? Jeez! Y'all should tone it down, and the annoying thing is you girls increase the volume so high and start making funny faces (filters! Yikes!) to be honest, it's not cute at all! It's somewhat Razz!
PS: Now, the reason why most of us don't use the google maps (although some are illiterates to be honest) is because:
1. It takes you on a longer route! If we use it now and you see the driver taking a wrong turn, the next thing is to scream and if he tries to defend himself, y'all say he's Rude! Ngwanu clap for yourselves..
2. Errrrr, this is Lagos, Nigeria! Not everywhere is detailed, you don't want to be caught taking one way do you? I thought so!
Don't have the notion that all Uber drivers are rude, go with a clear mind and trust me all would be well... I for example, if you have issues with me, then am sorry, you are a child of the world 😀
That's all for now, till next week, so stay glued for more Chronicles....
As a rider or driver, do you have your experiences too?
*Gosh you are one rude UBER Driver!!!..Must you talk back to your customers?