Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Thursday, April 13, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmm....




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIAGE WITHOUT LOVE:


Stella, God bless you abundantly for this platform.

I would cut my story short cause it is quite lengthy. My fiance and I have been engaged since 2013 we had our introduction then too, till date we've been together for about 7 years plus. 


He travelled out of the country after our introduction and I couldn't join him till late last year cause of visa issues before then he had been acting up before I went to him, and I assumed the distance was the reason for the attitude. Before I travelled to go meet him I already asked what the plan was and he said we should start a family right away. 

About a month after I got there I got pregnant, I remember the day I told him I was pregnant he wasn't excited or anything, we went to the hospital and the Dr asked us to run some tests. Then he was like he didn't have money yet bla bla that he's presently paying a lot of bills. I understood and didn't complain much till I started throwing up and getting really ill. 



All I used to do was stay home all day and watch TV while he goes to work and when he gets back he wouldn't even ask how my day was or anything, he would just eat and start working on his laptop afterwards he'll go to bed. We never used to go out except when we go grocery shopping and all.


 After some weeks I complained telling him that I couldn't keep staying home all day as I'm young and this was the best time to work hard, I told him I would like to go back to Nigeria to work cause I didn't like being idle doing nothing, he wasn't happy but said he'll think about it. I think I talked about going home twice before I got really sick and had a miscarriage.


A day before the miscarriage I was really sick, I couldn't sit, lay down or even stand, I was in serious pains. My back and tummy were paining me at the same time. While he was at work I messaged him to tell him about it he said sorry, when he got back from work I was still in pains even more pains that I started crying, next thing he said was why was I crying that the pregnancy isn't even upto a month and I was crying that if he had known I would be like this I should have stayed in Nigeria. I immediately told him that it's better I go back home if he didn't want me as I was even tired of being idle and all.


From then on it was one misunderstanding or the other, he stopped talking to me and I couldn't take it anymore so icalled my family and told them i wanted to come home. There was a day we had a really big argument and I thought he was going to hit me. I was really tired then I booked my ticket to cone back to Nigeria. Out of annoyance he already told me to go home if I wanted to that my mind clearly wasn't with him and bla bla.


I booked my ticket and i didn't tell him we still weren't on talking terms, then just 3days before I left he stated apologising to me and started acting super nice, I told him I had gotten my ticket and was going to leave anyways.
He was really nice to me and kept apologising till I left for Nigeria.


When I got back to Nigeria he started calling me everyday to apologise, stared calling my parents too and he kept saying he doesn't know what came over him that his eyes have been opened. He believes there's something responsible for what happened to him, that his eyes were clouded and now he feels bad for everything that he did to me.


Next thing he said he was coming to Nigeria to apologise to myself and my family for everything he put me through, I thought it was a joke cause he hasn't been home in like 4years before I knew it he was in Nigeria, first time we saw he went on his knees to apologise to me then when he came to see my parents with his uncle he still apologised and cried saying he didn't know what came over him.


The moment I saw him cry my heart melted but I know I do not love him anymore.
I know his apologies are sincere he has since returned to base cause he came for just a week. I used to be crazy about this person but I feel nothing for him now, I couldn't stand him touching me when he was around, I've forgiven him but there is no love in this heart anymore.


He wants me to come back ASAP cause according to him he can't do without me. The way he loves and calls me is now scary as it's too much and not the way he used to be.


A few people I've told believe that if we get back together the love will grow and all will be well. I'm not crazy about the whole abroad thing that's why I came back when he wasn't caring for me I know a lot of ladies would have stayed despite being treated badly.

I just want to know what you all think? Will lthe grow? Should I give this a chance? Will he misbehave again cause right now he worships the ground I walk on.


Give him another chance babe....


112 comments:

  1. Yea I'm with stella on this, give him another chance. You can work abroad naa? Abi?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you guys married now??? If no, babe move on!

      Delete
    2. Poster the difference between me and you is just that am not pregnant yet and we are married while you guys are not...I will advice you to give him another chance, I am idle here as well hubby goes to work and leave me in the house alone too but we do go out once in a while to enjoy ourselves.. you see abroad is not easy as it seems maybe all the time he was giving you attitude it might be that things are not going on well for him, my husband does that too once in while and I usually give him space till all is well again.. just give him another chance, the only advice I will give you is if you have the means is you should prepare yourself to go back to school when you get back with him so that you will at least keep yourself busy and you won't be feeling lonely...p.s you are not the only one going tru dis kind of tin almost all the women that usually join their husbands abroad always have this kind of similar stories to tell just keep praying and everything will be fine...xoxo

      Delete
    3. Ayam with Stellz. Give him another chance. If he messes up then it is bye-bye for good. Don't leave then fall into worse hands. But if you absolutely can't stand him, leave. Something may have been worrying him that time, or simply that you were not used to living together.

      Delete
    4. Poster make sure he wife u before going back to meet him. Introduction is not marriage.

      Delete
    5. Please give him another chance Babe. I think the love will be rekindled again. You both can make better memories when you go back. All you can remember now was the hurt you went through the last time. Give him another chance dear.

      Delete
  2. Engaged since 2013??? It reminds me of David Otunga and Jennifer Hudson

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dear please move on...He came back simply because you had an option, what about those of us stuck in overseas with children... Have been here since 2006,two lovely children,all I do is drop the kids at school and stay at home.. No paper and my partner treats me like a maid..

      Delete
    2. Anonymous, are you in the US? Please contact me via xceptionalwoman@publicist.com.

      Delete
  3. Well there is a thing line between love and hate. One minute you can't live without someone and the next you don't want to even be a meter next them.
    Please do not rush this time. Let him continue to do the chasing while you work on your feelings for him. It's possible you're still upset about how he treated you. I mean, you were pregnant with his child and he wasn't nice. Try to forgive him genuinely and if after that you still don't feel nothing then it's time to let him know, so you both can move on.
    It's been 7years and it's unfair to keep stringing yourselves along.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *thin
      And also, get a job and earn something.
      It's possible that he was going through something at work and seeing you idle was getting him upset but he didn't know how to tell you which also questions the level of communication you both have in your relationship.
      You also could have asked him instead of just thinking his behaviour was due to your presence. He invited you over after all.
      Also, if you decide not to go ahead with the relationship, don't be in a hurry to get pregnant before wedding vows are said.
      Imagine, if you hadn't had a miscarriage. Moving on would have been harder for you.

      Delete
    2. Most of what people call "love" is not love but "feelings"
      Love and feelings are very different things apart. Feelings can not be love but love has elements of feelings in it.
      The feelings u have for him is washed away, Thats ur main problem now.

      Dopple๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

      Delete
  4. I will leave this for my elders ie the married ones


    Not my area of specialization

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes,give him another chance but make sure you go for deliverance so that your Marine husband and your marine friends can leave you alone!...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaha@marine husband and marine friends.forgot 2 also add payment of bride price cos dis one dikwa Nkpa nwannem.

      Delete
    2. Hahahaha was abt saying u will recommend deliverance frm marine husband.

      Delete
    3. Queen baby, anytime u enter PH and u need a fuckboy. Abeg Halla at me.

      I will love to do to u want no man or woman has ever done to u.

      Delete
    4. Your comments always crack me up. Weh done

      Delete
  6. Get a job first, either here or abroad. If here both of you can visit till things normalise and your love grown, if the job is in abroad you are no longer idle and he won't see you as totally dependent.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Get a job first, either here or abroad. If here both of you can visit till things normalise and your love grown, if the job is in abroad you are no longer idle and he won't see you as totally dependent.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your advice definitely shows you've not lived abroad before

      Delete
  8. Madam go back to your husband.
    It is stupid to quit ones marriage at the slightest problem
    Things can always be worked out
    Forgive us our sins as we forgive those that sinned against us
    You might have prayed that today
    Ladies should learn to be patience and work on their relationships

    ReplyDelete
  9. Give him the last chance, but the reason for his sudden behavior is still a mystery to me, hope he won't change again?



    *Larry was here*

    ReplyDelete
  10. Tell us you have seen that this man is not rich and you want to dump him
    Impatience is a killer of affection
    work out your marriage
    the grass is not greener on the other side
    You will soon begin to send the "no man" chronicles

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice decoding..you are very wise.. I agree she observed he isnt rich and she wants to run away.at some point reading her write up i had to confirm she was talking about husband and not boyfriend..Better stay with him

      Delete
    2. Not really anon 15:10. Poster, i married a doctor and came to join him here, it's been very one sided if you care to know! I had my high flying middle class job in Lagos, we got married, and I had to join him. We've been married now for 15 years and this guy never has money. Even when his kids ask for a treat like pizza, he will tell them there is no money. Don't get it wrong, my husband makes a lot of money, but it is only for his mum and siblings. My kids and I have to patch it up. When I came to join him in winter, he won't even buy winter jacket for me, gave me his jumper and I was home all day, everyday. He would buy foodstuff and not give me a cent! We still don't go out cos he wouldn't want to spend his money in a restaurant, if there is any luxury treat we have, it comes from my pocket - and mind you, I couldn't work for the first 5 years. He would send stuff to his family but blank mine. We don't talk when he is home and he never buys even a card for me on my birthday. My dear, poster, marriage to men like this is not a walk in the park. Men like this don't change and most marriages where the girl comes to join the man abroad is like this. Take your time please. After two kids I ask myself what will be my ground for divorce? That he is stingy? Unfeeling? That will the announcement till birth of our kids he never shows excitement, that his extended family treats me bad and he is not bothered? Is that enough grounds for divorce? I have never caught him cheating or giving people money except his parents and siblings, he is just detached from the kids and me. I don't pray this for anyone abeg.

      Delete
    3. Anon 1900,its like dey used airforce for him,his family did.things like this happen u no,n it takes prayers to free such pple.dnt worry it will clear from his eyes one day.
      Based on logistics

      Delete
  11. His spirit wife won't allow u two to progress in this relationship. If u go back again without him going for deliverance same thing will happen again ! Believe me. Well u can give him a second Chance since tickets money ain't a big deal for u.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Awwww I understand how you feel sweetie. I truly do not like when men act anyhow only to ask for forgiveness and think all should be forgotten.


    It doesn't work that way !


    That being said, poster try, make an effort, if it doesn't work, you can now tell him .


    Don't stay in a loveless marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Pls take Stella's advise

    ReplyDelete
  14. @poster it's always like that. There'll be a time when love will fade. Just go spend more time with him and see if the feelings will grow again. He was probably going through a phase that period. Give him another chance.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Better go back to the abroad
    Nothing dey naija. .i envy those who had the sense and means to leave when they did

    ReplyDelete
  16. Poster, marriage is for better and for worse. You can still give him a 2nd chance but use your head. My heart is telling me that he is up to something. As in, he want to use you and get something.

    What do I even know sef?
    Let me come and be going.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly. You know nothing.

      Save your energy and advise yourself.

      Delete
    2. @Chike its either that or the babe him dey eye outside na fluke and he has gotten back into reality. Causing him to be sober. Oh well.... forgive nau. Men and their rubbish. Im sha happy you could afford your ticket back home to drive in a message. Not like some who will sit there posting pictures on SM, suffering, smiling and pretending.

      Delete
  17. Another chance def will do...

    ReplyDelete
  18. God forgives!! So why wont we humans..

    If he actually travelled back to naija with the sole interest of apologising to you;and not cos of any other side business,then he is remorseful for his misdeed..

    Most men are actually wired to value a good woman after they have lost her or when they are on the verge of loosing her..

    Everybody deserves a second chance @poster,and so long as this isnt a case of him cheating on you;its not just fair if you dont grant him this second chance..

    No-one is perfect!!

    @MARTINS ABOY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you're alright. I noticed you've been away or maybe a little off and on.
      Just be sure you're fine. God bless you

      Delete
  19. Madam. Go be with ur hubby,make we know aw many of us singles remain for Nigeria, abeg

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol... See vex.. Calm down na..

      Delete
    2. He's not her husband yet. Poster, it was irresponsible of you to get pregnant one month after getting to his base. You became a burden to him hence his change in character. Plan your life so you can be an asset to him.
      I wonder if your parents would have agreed for you to move in with him if he wasn't in the abroad.

      Delete
  20. Gotta try again but before you go you guys need to discuss u getting a job, very important

    ReplyDelete
  21. U re funny
    People fight nd get over it
    Give him another and see 1st b4 u could...

    ReplyDelete
  22. Eayah it is well with you. Give him another chance, if he fuck up, fuck him up too.

    You would have been happy hearing you are going to the abroadian, afterall nai this type girls dey look for.

    Some self would just continue staying there even when he is misbehaving.

    Anyway goodluck jare. Let me go and buy whistle at Apongbon bridge. Ama blow someone oo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think when she left the man realised she wasn't there just for the chance of being 'in the abroad'. That must have shook him, because some ladies will die there just for that reason. Poster give him another chance, but try to know yourselves better, and let him help you to get something doing. Then get married.

      Delete
  23. Watch war room
    Prayer is the key poster

    ReplyDelete
  24. Madam. Follow ur instincts, they are always right. Don't go back to him. The miscarriage was a blessing in disguise, no child will join two of u forever.Life's short but Marriage is a very long journey, If u hv doubts u won't be happy in a marriage, don't enter. Many people today wish they had followed their instincts.
    About ur boyfriend. Old habits die hard.People don't truly change, they only pretend to.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

      Delete
    2. @Peace maker ,this your advice is the gbamest.
      Poster follow his advice..
      I never knew you could be this sensible and reasonable.

      Delete
    3. Na wa o.. James u are sounding so responsible today. Wetin happen?

      Delete
    4. Peacemaker is this you? Adontbelieveit!

      Delete
    5. The poster up there ☝ is definitely not peace maker..what a wawu

      Delete
    6. Peace maker, God bless you for this advice.

      Delete
    7. Peacemaker nwoke ike!!! Lool... this is why I laugh when people take his other 'somehow' comments to heart, the guy is sensible except when he is intentionally trolling

      Delete
  25. He worships the ground you walk on from a distance.

    I hope it is not what I am thinking... Go visit and see how it goes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most ppl crave wat they don't have, wen its in their possession, they'd misuse it... He'd most likely go back to his uncaring ways, how.can a man be non chalant about seeing his 1st child? He's fond of ur prrsence, that's not love, don't confuse them both.

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    2. Please what are you thinking?

      Delete
  26. Yea everyone deserves a second chance. Would advice you get a job when you get back so you dont get bored at home.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Babes give him another chance....its obvious he's come back to his senses. the love will come back. try not to get preggers again till you're married to him. Coming back to Nigeria just to see you means he's trully sorry so please give him another chance....

    ReplyDelete
  28. @ Poster, give it another try, but slowly this time.

    Get yourself busy as well, am sure all that idleness put a lot of ideas in your head.

    All the best!!!

    #Chairlady Whistle blowing Association

    ReplyDelete
  29. Yeah i concur with stella, give him another chance

    ReplyDelete
  30. Poster, there is no right or wrong answer to this chronicle. The best thing to do is to seek God's opinion. He alone sees the future and can tell if the man is worth being given a second chance.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Give him another chance since he doesn't beat you. I believe if you truly open your heart and put your mind in it that it will work out for both of you.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Everyone deserves a second chance swtheart, pls do give him a chance again and while at it, let the guy marry you legally because the introduction is long overdue (2013?)

    However, before going to the 'Abroad' to join him, you guys should sort out stuff about you getting a job and others so that you don't come back with another chronicle.

    Take heart over the miscarriage.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Let him pay ur bride price first before anything....Please forgive him and have him back in ur life. I m sure he won't misbehave again. Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Am just wondering what came over him. Well if na me oh I will move on. I think you guys grew part.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It happens to newly married couples from different backgrounds with different temperaments. They sometimes need some time to adjust to each other. Thier differences may cause conflict. Especially when they don't know much about themselves and did not make plans or envisage how their union would be. But if they hang on and overcome the phase, they will learn to adjust and have a long and good union.

      Delete
  35. Let him pay ur bride price first before anything....Please forgive him and have him back in ur life. I m sure he won't misbehave again. Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Even married couples fall in and out of love so not loving him for the now is nothing new,just forgive him and you can learn to love again.pele

    ReplyDelete
  37. All ds abroad marriage dey fear me shaa... Just be prayerful so he won't harm u

    ReplyDelete
  38. Another chance should be given to him. When you reach there get a job and not preggy. Plan everything and hand it to God. A man is incomplete without a woman, help him to be what God wants him to be and pls do not fail God. Wish you peace and happiness.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Dear Poster,please give him a second chance,Love is forgiveness. Pray and ofcourse do all you can to make it work.GOD'S Blessings in your home

    ReplyDelete
  40. Don't go back to him unless u want to be miserable for d rest of ur life.
    U can always get another man if u r not fat, short and ugly

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now this is more like you..were u hungry wen u commented up there?

      Delete
    2. This is the peacemaker we know

      Delete
    3. Peacemaker!!! After they praised you up there! That thing pushing said no o, you must show yourself... Lol!!!

      Delete
  41. Love knows no boundary, if ur love for him will skyrocket again, it can very well be launched from this damn country, the hardship is so bad to cripple ones love yet... Retrace ur steps again & remind urself all the stupid reasons that made u stumble in love in the 1st plc... If it ws "abroad fever" and now uv seen the life finish n the empty fuss, am sorry that love has gone till November, no tide will bring it South!!

    ReplyDelete
  42. Love grows and also dies. Open up your heart again and allow it grow. That's why is good to marry ur friend so that when their is no love the friendship can hold the marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Most ppl fail to realize that love has different phases, the amazing stage happens to be the "Honeymoon stage" where u literally feel the butterflies in ur tummy, although sum ppl have moths on there & confusing it for butteries... Anyway, happiness is priority in any union or cracks will begin to show, so marrying a friend isn't wat id advice here, but marrying an understanding being with a tolerance level above sea level, some friends turn sour wen the road gets rough. It'd be of great help if ure well aware of this upcoming phase & wear an armour for the inevitable storm, it passes like the weather.

      Delete
  43. Hard Situation it is. Give him another chance ,let d love grow

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  44. Please don't go back. His true color has shown and it can only get worst.

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  45. All ds abroad marriage dey fear me shaa... Just be prayerful so he won't harm u

    ReplyDelete
  46. Babe forgive him and give him another chance, guy is obviously in love with you that's y he came back to his senses

    ReplyDelete
  47. Okay.
    We had a young man come stay with my family. He once visited for a course and stayed in my house for a month or a Lil more while we lived in country A about 5years ago.
    Last year he called hubby he wanted to come to our new country B and I had no reason to object his visit because he was a nice, fun to be with fellow. This time he's coming with intention of remaining here so hubby told him he can only stay 2weeks at mine, he needs to rent his own place and Start his life.

    Stylishly this guy stayed 4months and that's fine by me!
    His just wedded wife was preggy in nja, so he made arrangements and the sweet lady came in to put to bed. I love the lady's personality.

    Trouble started when the wife went for a scan and they were billed $1000+.

    Now hubby called the guy, 6months living with us and on us! Told him he has to get his own place and gave him till March ending.
    I was dismayed when I saw the angry confused side to this guy. He was sad, giving his wife and I attitude, refusing food and ignoring my kids! The wife was in tears so many days because she didn't think her hubby could ignore, abandon, insult, or treat her with such disgust! Thankfully I was in their life at the time to cheer her up and occupy her mind with the joy ahead.

    Poster does this story make sense to you? Some men are good men but fidget in tight situations. They handle it with so much anger towards themselves and unconsciously takes it out on the people closest and dearest to them.

    You have not looked beyond the hurt, you forgave him but worried to see that part of him again.
    He is sorry and please give your love another chance.

    Staying at home/idle is boring but many of us have gone through that to nurture our kids. Make yourself happy while at it. Abroad, you can make hair, sew clothes, make soup/sauce for others, make pastries, sell African fabrics and the likes. Get your connection in church or Nigerian community or from online.

    And yes hospital bill is no joke abroad if you have no insurance, all these are enough for a man to feel inadequate!

    Wish you all the best.

    MrsBee

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    Replies
    1. As much as I understand you, I think any man who acts that way under pressure doesn't yet know what it means to be a man. I also think we make too many excuses for these men that make them get away with such bullshit and feel they can tender an apology once they feel like. That's selfish. If you can't handle unprecedented situations, then don't marry and pour your sperm inside anyone's vagina. Raising a family would always present such situations, so a real man should be prepared from the start. Everyone feels pressured, and I mean everyone. You don't go about taking out the stress on anyone. What do I gain by destroying people's mood and leaving a bad impression just because of a temporary situation?
      Oh well.... y'all married and I'm not right?
      Poster forgive, just because. But he should sit up and learn emotional intelligence. So if your child is ill now he would start acting up cos he's under pressure and has hospital bills to pay? Really?? Me sha... I think there's another reason. But don't bother finding out.

      Delete
    2. ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€Love love your perspective on things Chikito! I agree with you and I didn't intend to sound like a lady should indulge such attitude. My point is, not all men went into marriage with a pre-planned way of being married, we learn. I learnt!
      Sometimes the first heat is what equips us better.

      I want to believe posters guy feels much ready for the journey now!

      MrsBee

      Delete
  48. Honestly the grass is not greener on the other side, it might seem all plush and good from your end but a closer look says otherwise.
    As well, striving in another man's land is not a joke, he might have a lot of pressure on him and we all react to pressure differently. Has he gotten his papers, does he have a good paying job, are his families in Nigeria relying on him,what are his short and long term goals?
    All these questions and more might be the reason he was so cranky,he might even be feeling less than what he expects himself to be with you.
    Think about all these, have a heart to heart chat with him,devoid yourself of every prejudiced notion,pray for and with him.
    You once loved him,f forgive him, give it time,b e positive and give him a second chance. It will definitely work out.
    Remember the grass only seems greener on the other side,it is not. You can nurture your grass to look better.

    ReplyDelete
  49. If he has married you, at least paid your bride price then go back. If not, after 7yrs, then be carefully should be your middle name for now.

    ReplyDelete
  50. In as much as I believe you should forgive him..Please take necessary steps 1) he has to legalize the union(i.e) pay your brideprice and do a small white wedding 2) Get something doing as well e.g a job or a trade 3) Tread with caution cause I dont trust that man at all 4) Please dont rush yourself to love him, its gonna take time one step at a time.. Lastly Pray to God to give you wisdom and a discerning spirit..Woow Peacemaker u made mega sense today..am really proud of you

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  51. My dear, sorry for your loss. I think your bitterness comes from losing that pregnancy.

    Give him another chance but make sure you are working when you get there before tying the knot and starting a family. It seems the man just dey manage there. Living abroad no mean say I get money.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Nne give him another chance, we know is it eazy over there moreover you didn't re really know what's bothering him, just try and give him one more chance but pls try and keep yourself busy too,but most importantly he should come and do the Needful biko

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  53. Poster go back to your husband. He is more or less your his hubby since intro and pregnancy entered.
    No husband in dis naija o. These men behave foolish smtimes that's how we manage them.
    Take my advice o.
    Don't listen to those telling you plenty fishes in the sea. 5yrs after you are still fishing.
    Thank God no cheating or abuse is involved the rest can be sorted and love can grow. Did all our grandparents start off with love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beds and roses,it seems you are just managing your husband this one you are telling us that your grandparents didn't start off with love. SMH

      Delete
  54. Change? Nayyy, he has shown you his true colour. Yes, return back to him, but get your driving license asap, so you don't get stuck at home and waiting for him to drive you out and a job before getting pregnant again, because my gut still don't trust him. Best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you plus why haven't you legalised your union

      Delete
  55. If you can give him another chance.

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  56. My dear a man who engaged you for that long is questionable, secondly he should be sincere to you what really happened as in the way he treated you while you were there(my guess is there must have been somebody else, it's just a guess), my point is he should tell you the real truth "something came over him" is not good enough. Abroad is not an easy place especially when you don't have any support system over there. In as much as you want to get married remember it's a lifetime commitment. Make a selfish assessment of the situation, your seeking advice whatever you get out of this today remember non of us here will be there with you, if you decide to write Stella all anybody can say is awww nice or eya take heart, be wise my darling, follow your heart.

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  57. Sweetheart, until you find out what got into him, it will be less than smart to give him another chance. It's not like you guys are already married. If you don't do your due diligence, with his assistance to really dig deep to know why he acted the way he did, like a vicious cycle, he will treat you the same way, if not worse.

    In the immortal words of Shakespeare, "there is no art to find the mind's construction in the face." Some of the most heartless men can cry at the drop of a hat, all the melodramatic moves may not be as genuine as you imagine. Haven't you heard or read about cases of domestic violence where the abuser breaks down and cries his pretentious eyes out, kneeling and begging the victim for another chance, with these same poorly recycled lines "baby, please, I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me. I will never hurt you again, I swear! You know I love you so much "? Predictably, the abuse "resumes" barely a week after the apology. So, my love, be sure you know what you are getting yourself into before things become irreparably bad.

    There are no definite answers to the questions you raised, that's all the more reason why you shouldn't rush until certain issues have been tackled. Your love for him may be rekindled or it may not. He most definitely will get on your nerves every now and then because he is human and you aren't perfect yourself. However, if your fear is about history repeating itself...nobody can accurately predict that. What matters is if you are willing to take a chance on him. Just be sure he is worth it.‎
    #e-bearhugs.‎

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  58. My dear,be over and done with that relationship.Do u want to.be engaged forever without him marrying you?forgive and forget him please.Guys can behave funny at times and when you are married you are stuck.

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  59. My dear,be over and done with that relationship.Do u want to.be engaged forever without him marrying you?forgive and forget him please.Guys can behave funny at times and when you are married you are stuck.

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